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#accidental hollow knight mutuals <3
thethrillof · 2 years
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📓📖📚
ty~! we got ut/dr, the batman, and hollow knight under the cut b/c it feels p long
ut/dr: some kind of crossover where frisk meets spamton. the plot is vague but i think frisk would be fascinated by him, reminded of the amalgamates and the skelebros from all his glitch stuff.
idea where they end up talking on the phone accidentally and then somehow go to find him, and then try (fruitlessly) to find a way to contact what they think was his Player/partner who just quit on him before his good ending was secured who does that? 
and meanwhile spamton just sees them as a weird mark who reminds him of that other lightner (depending on where in the drch2 timeline it’s set, idk) until they just keep sticking with him even after things go south.
there’s a lot of mutual trauma involving vines.
the batman (2004): introducing the Mad Hatter in a way that’s less creepy than the dude usually tends to be! 
extremely shortened version: shows up and starts screwing around gotham while the batman is distracted by justice league stuff and something about a stolen superweapon the government’s kept hush-hush. still, he’s not about to let this guy do what he wants, especially since he seems to have a kid who’s like 11 under mind-control as his alice.
so the batfam tries to save the kid and capture hatter, it’s rough, there are lots of other innocent people they need to nab the mind-control hats off of, nobody is having a good time. 
and then someone gets the one “alice” was wearing off.
and everything explodes.
the batfam get out of there via batplane. they don’t know what happened. they do think it’s a normal explosion until they look back and see a twisted version of Wonderland’s woods and realize: no it is not!
so about that stolen superweapon.
her designation was Project: ACE. a massively powerful psychic locked away since infancy. jervis tetch was one of the only ones at the containment facility that was nice to her, letting her have entertainment, including reading Alice in Wonderland...but he was still one of them.
when she inevitably tore her way out, he was prepared to let her kill him. when she read his mind, she saw that he didn’t want to die, though he wasn’t going to resist; he wanted to not be one of the people who kept her locked up, who studied her, who made her miserable. he didn’t want to be that person.
so she overwrote most of his memories and personality to become the Mad Hatter. he wasn’t that person anymore! and he could never hurt her again. :3 
and now the batfam has to work out how to stop her and possibly get the “mind control” ribbon she’d been wearing back on, which was actually a custom-made power dampener she and hatter had made together to keep herself from losing control outside of the facility. 
hollow knight: the newly-ascended Lord of Shades having to try to control themselves as they are now massively powerful and, while the little knight is mostly in control, the little shades locked away in the abyss who died at essentially infancy with 0 other experience are also in there, influencing things. also godseeker is still in there somewhere, heaping frantic praise upon them despite them literally bursting out of her in agonizing ways, so that’s another level of stress. she can’t hear them well enough to be quiet when she’s telling them she and the rest of her people will serve their every whim.
so very upset void god that keeps just popping up out of the woodwork scaring the shit out of people until they learn to settle down.
lemm probably helps with that, because while he wants to protect his own skin, he’s not letting some monster destroy the collection he’s amassed over his time in hallownest so easily. 
a less-than-finger-sized relic seeker yelling and trying to be intimidating when coming from under the city’s water to stay way from his shop? shockingly good at knocking them out of a destructive panic attack!
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bamfdaddio · 3 years
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X-Men Abridged: 1979
The X-Men, those globe-trotting mutants that have sworn to protect a world that hates and fears them, are a cultural juggernaut with a long, tangled history. Want to unravel this tapestry? Then read the Abridged X-Men!
(X-Men 117 - 128, X-Man Annual 3) - by Chris Claremont and John Byrne, Terry Austin, George Perez
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See Jean? Dark Phoenix is nothing: this is how you turn evil properly. (X-Men 123)
So, these things have been getting longer. Whoops.
Last year, plotlines tended to bleed over in one another, but this year is a lot more arc-based, jumping from location to location. This is basically X-Men: World Tour. After hitting Antarctica and the Savage Land, our team of merry mutants visits Japan, Canada, Egypt, Scotland and even a theme park! (And really, both Murder World and Disney Land are run by capitalist scumbags who pretend to be in it for the art, the only difference being that Arcade purposefully murders his guests.)
But, before we check in with the X-Men, we return to the Institute. See, there’s a mutual misunderstanding that wouldn’t be out of place in a Shakespearian tragedy: Jean and Charles think Beast and Jean were the only survivors of their fight with Magneto in Antarctica, while the rest of the X-Men believe they were the only survivors and Jean and Beast perished. Since the X-Men have been trapped in the Savage Land, nobody has been able to clear up the confusion.
With their grief driving a wedge between her and Charles, Jean leaves the mansion to deal with her feelings on her own. (She’ll end up on Muir Isle.)
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This is adorable! And, if the whole "Empress of the known Universe "-thing blows up in her face, she can always become a barista at Starbucks. (X-Men 117)
Lilandra successfully persuades Xavier to leave Earth as her consort, now that there is nothing left for him. Xavier agrees, but not before having a flashback to the time he met another telepath named Amahl Farouk in Egypt. (The Shadow King isn’t relevant just yet, but he’ll become an important villain later on.)
The X-Men, meanwhile, cross a treacherous ocean on a raft and are picked up by a Japanese vessel. The Japanese do not allow them to call anyone, for some reason. Sure. When they finally dock in Japan - six weeks later - some arms dealer named Magnum Moses has put Agarishima is on fire. Like, literally an inferno of such big proportions that even Storm can’t do much.
What follows is an uninspired, slipshod adventure. For some reason, Misty Knight and Colleen Wing are there too, because the president needed American detectives to investigate Magnum Moses (?) and for some reason, Misty doesn’t know Jean thinks Scott is dead, nor does she mention she just saw Jean to Scott. AUGH. It will take almost a year for Scott to figure out Jean isn’t dead and it becomes increasingly more contrived. I get that Claremont needed to isolate Jean to make her susceptible to, er, a certain someone’s machinations, but holy fuck do I have to suspend my disbelief for all of this bullshit.
The only good things about this little arc are:
Sunfire is still a dick.
Wolverine meets Mariko Yashida, a Japanese girl who actually reciprocates his feelings, as opposed to Jean. I’ve mostly been ignoring his budding feelings for Jean, because I stopped finding love triangles interesting since I was 16 and watched The OC, so I can only applaud this development. Mariko brings out Wolverine’s soft side and it’s very adorable. Later on, she moves to NYC for some reason and they start dating.
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There is something sweetly disarming about calling Wolverine ‘beautiful’. (X-Men 120)
Anyway, Magnum is holding Japan hostage: either they give him what he wants - I think that might be money, sorry, wasn't paying attention - or he sinks Japan by activating the fault lines and you guys, I am sooo bored. Unsurprisingly, the X-Men stop him and for once, it’s Banshee who gets to play the most important part.
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It’s a good thing I was terrible at science, otherwise I might have to point out that earthquakes and sonic waves don’t work that way! I simply get to be entertained by little rascal Colossus, plugging his ears like a toddler, and Sunfire’s gritty determination to not be impressed by some silly screaming Irishman. (X-Men 119)
Banshee pays a steep price for the victory, however: his vocal chords end up damaged, leaving him effectively powerless for the remainder of the year.
Oh, and here’s interesting fact about the above spread: you may or may not know that Chris Claremont and John Byrne were notoriously terrible at working together; this issue became a particular sore point between the creators. See, Byrne wanted to run the above panel without the sound of ‘Kra-Koom’, believing the art was strong enough to convey the destruction. He was livid when the finished product ended up containing a sound effect after all. I get your frustration, man, but if you want a writer who knows how to say less with more, you should maybe not work with Claremont?
(One of the reasons Claremont liked being so verbose and descriptive in his scripts was because otherwise, the artist would fill in the blanks using his own imagination. It’s no wonder these two found it hard to work together.)
On the flight to the US of A, Colleen Wing hits on Cyclops. It has to be the jawline, right? It can’t be the personality. All of a sudden, a snow storm causes their plane to be diverted to Calgary. The cause of this delay is Alpha Flight, who want their Wolverine back!
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When even the narration is all “and they think they’re equal to any team of superheroes”, you know you’re a bunch of C-listers. Ugh. (X-Men 121)
Vindicator, previously known as Captain Alpha. He changed his name after accidentally shooting Moira that one time, which is exactly the kind of hollow gesture this dude would make. Ugh. If you think his new-found remorse won’t let him threaten an airplane chock full of innocent passengers, you would be wrong.
Shaman, doctor by day, magic user by night. Him and his magical little pouch are to blame for the snow storm.
Sasquatch, Canada’s answer to the Hulk. (Hilariously, the theory on why he turns furry instead of green is because he’s closer to the Aurora Borealis and this somehow messes with the radiation?)
Snowbird, a young Arctic goddess. Precious. To be cherished. Barely there for this adventure, sadly.
Northstar, an arrogant, hot-headed speedster, the twin brother of
Aurora, a lover, not a fighter. Together, they have light powers.
Vindicator and Shaman hog most of the spotlight, so Alpha Flight continues to be the ever-loving worst. They’re really wasting Northstar’s first appearance here. Here's why they suck:
Alpha Flight accidentally smashes a plane and keeps threatening to drag Wolverine back to the military against his will.
They push the cover price of the comic to a whoppin’ 40 cents.
Johnny fuckin’ Hudson even provokes Storm into an attack in the middle of a mall.
Shaman lets his blizzard get out of control.
After Storm fixes this mistake for him, Northstar has the gall to knock her out, “because she’s obviously the strongest”. Like, you’re not wrong, but damn, y’all a bunch of unpleasant superheroes.
To stop the fight, Wolverine decides to turn himself in. The X-Men leave, but while flying back, they already make plans to save their teammate. Wolverine saves them the trouble, casually sauntering into the cockpit while claiming that pulling a fast one on them was the easiest thing ever.
To be fair, I understand why you’d want to put a country between yourself and those bozos.
And finally, the X-Men are home! Xavier left them the equivalent of a Post-It saying “off to space”, so they try to pick up their life as best they can. None of them contact Jean’s parents, make an attempt to visit her grave or happen to see Beast on TV and by now, my suspension of disbelief is stretched so far that it could replace Reed Richards on the Fantastic Four.
Ororo, meanwhile, makes a little pilgrimage to Harlem, to the building she grew up in before she moved to Cairo.
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I have failed you as a recapper, because I have absolutely no idea how to parse this scene. (X-Men 122)
I think I’d have to write a full-on thesis before I could properly analyse this, because so many things intersect here: poverty and racism, the boundaries of a superhero comic, confronting a (shared) past. I can’t even fully gauge if this is a clumsy, privileged attempt at tackling a serious topic or rather, a valuable moment in a comic that continually tries to expand on its themes of racism, exclusion and prejudice. One thing I will note is:
Luke Cage delivers the sort of trite conclusion that they’re superheroes: they’re better at fighting Galactus than at fixing the human condition. Point is, he kind of has to believe that, doesn’t he? It’s the sort of blind spot we all permit ourselves: you can’t fix everything. None of us have the power to fix the earth, or humanity, or the economy, or whatever: if you’re lucky, you can maybe tend to your own garden and leave it better than you found it, ensuring some happiness for yourself and a few loved ones.
Chasing bank robbers is easy. Superhero stuff. But here? Who do you attack here? These kids, or the system that failed them? You can’t really punch a needle exchange into being. Maybe that’s the appeal of superhero comics: there’s a clear villain, which is so sorely lacking in our day to day lifes. There, we are ruled by systems that are rooted in inequality, patriarchy, gender...
But Storm isn’t like Luke Cage, not in this regard. Before she became an X-Man, she used her powers to help people that came to her. And the whole point of the X-Men - other than beating up villains in colorful spandex - is that they want to change the system. They want to fix things, they want to fix a dark part of human nature, the part that hates which we fear.
Storm doesn’t really respond to Luke Cage here, but we know she’ll keep fighting the good fight, despite insurmountable odds. You can’t fix mankind, I don’t think, but you can sure as hell try.
*coughs*
Anyway!
Black Tom and Juggernaut hire Arcade… to kill the X-Men! I’m not sure why? I thought these two usually attempted to solve things on their own and Arcade’s fee is, like, a million bucks, so…? Maybe Black Tom asked his boyfriend what he wanted for his birthday and Juggernaut clenched his fists and said “I WANT THE X-MEN DEAD” and things escalated from there.
So, Arcade is a subtle villain. While Scott and Colleen Wing are on a date, this happens:
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I can’t decide which is funnier: kidnapping people by sneaking up on them with A GARBAGE TRUCK or the fact that Spider-Man deduces this is Arcade’s doing by the noise alone. (X-Men 123)
Spider-Man doesn’t really figure into the rest of the plot, by the way.
Arcade successfully kidnaps all of the X-Men (and their dates: Colleen, Amanda and Betsy). Who is this Arcade? Well, he is an assassin who lets his victims run through a gauntlet of some sort, testing them with potentially deadly results in his Murderworld. He’s like a discount-combo of Saw and the Joker, except a lot less competent and a lot more spoiled rich kid. He barely kills anyone, ever, until maaaybe Avengers Arena, some forty years later.
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Arcade veers heavily to the silly side of the silly-to-sinister scale, but he at least commits to a theme. Bonus is that trapping your heroes in a bunch of ricocheting balls fubars them ever-so beautifully. (X-Men 123)
This whole adventure is very silly and has very little bearing on the overarching plot, but it’s a fun enough romp: Cyclops nearly gets squashed by a hydraulic press, Nightcrawler gets attacked by bumper cars with chain saws attached to them, stuff like that. The absolute best part is when Colossus is hypnotized by an illusion of the KGB and becomes THE PROLETARIAN.
His insignia is Vladimir Lenin, y’all.
After various shenanigans, everybody is freed from their respective booby traps, everyone except Colossus. See, Piotr has been feeling down, torn between the exciting new loyalty to the X-Men and the more dutiful loyalty to his family and his motherland. (Also, he’s been feeling like a failure because he came up short a couple a times, aw.) Those feelings are exactly what Arcade has been abusing, but when Colossus comes in for the kill, Storm gives the most heartfelt plea:
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I’m not crying, you’re crying. (X-Men 124)
Arcade’s all: “Eh, can’t win ‘em all” and yeets the X-Men out of Murderworld. The story has barely any other repercussions, except we stop seeing Colleen Wing and Betsy (Piotr’s date) after this. To be fair, being kidnapped by a super villain is a good reason to stop seeing someone.
Even more inconsequential is the adventure in the Annual. The only important thing to glean from there is that, when Thor is unavailable, Storm is a suitable substitution. Couldn’t agree more.
The quality of the comic has been steadily ascending throughout the year and ends on a supremely high note: Proteus. Because I think it might be Claremont’s best work so far, I’ll be dedicating a full post to that. (Man, that 10-picture-limit is a real bummer, huh?)
Ugliest Costume: I don’t care, I just want someone to cosplay the Proletarian.
Best new character: There’s actually a few options - Snowbird, Northstar, Proteus - but both Jean-Paul and Narya don’t really show their best sides this year, so I’m going in a different direction. My pick is the Shadow King. He is a very effective foil to Xavier, perhaps even moreso than Magneto. I know I rag on Xavier and his cavalier attitude to bending others to his will a lot, but imagine if you had his powers: wouldn’t you just make people do whatever you want? Just, like, all the time? The Shadow King is an effective reminder of what Charles would have been like, had he been immoral. (Well, more immoral.)
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No matter how cool your psychic battle may be, this is what it looks like to the rest of the world. (X-Men 117)
Turns evil: Colossus, for the first time!
What to read: 117, 125 - 129.
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