#Woklaza's silly hcs

[woklaza]

Mafia Soukoku headcanon: Chuuya was forced to learn to play the piano by Kouyou so he has better 'mind coordination'. So in their apartment, there's a piano in the living room. Dazai, being Dazai, would hide stuff inside the piano until it finally broke one day.

Chuuya, practicing: Dazai, being a perfect pitch: Why did the song start with D instead of E? Chuuya: I guess the piano got old. *continues playing* A loud twang from inside the piano: Bwangggg Chuuya: What the...? *Checks the inside of the piano* Chuuya, abnormally quiet: Dazai. Dazai, all innocent-like: Yes? Chuuya: There are 12 cans of tinned crabs, a moulding sandwich, a pouch of diamonds, 40 bottles of painkillers and A WHOLE BOTTLE OF PETRUS-

The Petrus apparently broke the strings for being too heavy. Chuuya and Dazai decided to keep the broken piano and not discard it.

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd incorrect quotes #Woklaza's silly hcs #No why is this one so oddly specific #coming from grade 8 pianist #Do not ask what Dazai's motives are

[woklaza]

Mafia Soukoku headcanon: Dazai does sleep (unlike how most fanfics write about him being an insomniac), but he definitely has some messed up sleep schedule.

Chuuya, waking Dazai up: It's time to wake up! Dazai, eyes closed: Whoever interrupts me from my eternal slumber shall be cursed- Chuuya: Fucking wake up, it's 6:21 am! Dazai: Too earlyyyyyy Chuuya: You went to bed at 5:12 am! Chuuya: Two days ago.

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #bsd incorrect quotes #he either pulls 7 allnighters in a row or sleeps for 4 days #Woklaza's silly hcs

[woklaza]

Mafia Soukoku headcanon: Despite eating like, half a bowl of cereal for an entire day, Dazai can cook.

Chuuya was always under the assumption that Dazai would trash the kitchen and would cook for Dazai instead. That was actually Dazai's master plan because he just wanted Chuuya to make him food.

Chuuya would make these super cute bento boxes for Dazai when he works overtime in the Port Mafia consisting of crab sushi, crab-shaped carrots and crab-shaped onigiri. And he would phone Dazai to make sure he eats his stuff. Dazai: Akutagawa, you want some chopped onion? Akutagawa: W-what? Dazai: Chuuya put some in my bento box. I haaaate onions. Akutagawa: Oh- Okay. Akutagawa, shocked: Dazai-san why is the onion carved into a crab? Dazai: ... Akutagawa, even more shocked: It tastes like crab...

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #bsd akutagawa #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd incorrect quotes #no cos chuuya has mad cooking skillz #Chuuya as caring mother boyfriend #Woklaza's silly hcs

[woklaza]

Mafia Soukoku hc: Every time Dazai gets injured during a mission and loses blood, Chuuya has to hide water sources from Dazai so he can't drink any (Context: Drinking water after great blood loss causes fatal issues and even death). Dazai would then find ways to find bottled water and pour it out to scare Chuuya, thinking he drank the water.

Chuuya: Gosh, that blobfish(Dazai) is such a burden! (Goes into Dazai's room) Dazai, lying on the floor in a pool of blood: Hey Chuuya...! Chuuya, seeing the three empty bottles on the floor next to Dazai: HOLY MOLY JESUS CHRIST-

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #chuuya nakahara #dazai osamu #bsd incorrect quotes #Woklaza's silly hcs

[woklaza]

Mafia Soukoku headcanon: Dazai brings a hairpin with him wherever he goes for lockpicking but after he meets Chuuya he brings two. One for lockpicking and one to stop Chuuya's hair from getting into his eyes.

Chuuya, beating the shit out of an enemy: Dazai: Oh my god Chuuya! Your hair's in your way! Chuuya: Ugh. Dazai, fixing Chuuya's hair: There we go~ Chuuya: Pft. *Ruffles his hair and removes the hairpin*

Then Chuuya would collect the hairpins Dazai gives him (I'm kicking my feet and giggling rn)

But srsly Chuuya needs a hairpin 😭

#bsd #bsd dazai #bsd chuuya #soukoku #dazai osamu #chuuya nakahara #bsd incorrect quotes #Woklaza's silly hcs #No cos that's actually one of my cutest hcs