#Weissman Family hijynx

[wonderlandleighleigh]

Rose gets to meet Shy the next morning right?

Following up 

He wakes up to someone flopping down on the bed, and when he cracks his eyes open, Midge is laying next to him.

“Oh lord,” Shy mutters. “Tell me I did not make this particular mistake.” 

“Yes, and it was terrible,” Midge teases. “Next time I’m drawing you a map.”

Shy chuckles into the pillow and shakes his head. 

Midge grins. “How are you feeling?” 

He shrugs. “Like I got beat up, and well-meaning beanpole of a comedian tried to come to my rescue and he got beat up, too.” 

“You must have been so scared,” Midge frets. “I’m so sorry that happened.” 

“As you well know, it wasn’t the first time, and at least this time it was only because I was black,” Shy tells her. “And not the other thing.” 

“It’s still terrible.” 

“It’s the world we live in.” 

Midge nods. 

“When do you need me out of your hair?” Shy asks. 

She shrugs. “That depends on how much crazy Weissman family bullshit you’re willing to deal with.” 

“Explain.” 

“Lenny is already up, and Zelda - my parents’ housekeeper - won this time, which means he’s sitting around in his underpants waiting for his suit to be pressed. I’ve given her your things too, and she’s a whiz with stains so the blood will come right out, good as new. I need to walk my son to school, but that should take fifteen minutes tops, and then I’ll be back, and in the meantime, coffee is already made. When I get back, I’ll make breakfast, and at some point my parents will be home, and my mother may die from seeing you in your underpants, but she had a good run anyways.” 

Shy laughs - really laughs - at all of this and sits up, rubbing at his face before getting to his feet. “Can I borrow a robe?” 

Midge tilts her head, looking shocked and turning red. “You...You mister, are going to make some nice guy very happy someday."

He glances back at her as he rummages through her closet, and then looks down and laughs in surprise. "Right. I sleep in the nude. Sorry about that."

She looks away, pursing her lips. "Robes are right in the middle there."

Shy pulls a pink floral robe out, one that hits the floor on Midge but makes for a modest covering for Shy. "Thank you."

Midge grins at him and gets to her feet. "No problem. Okay. I'm off to take Ethan to school. Lenny is in the kitchen if you need a buddy. I'll be back soon."

She rushes out, shouting Ethan's name, and Shy wanders into the kitchen as she leaves the apartment.

Lenny is looking rather put out again at the kitchen table, coffee in front of him, wearing only a pair of undershorts, white with thin blue stripes on them.

"Good morning, Lenny," Shy greets as he pours himself a cup of coffee.

"Nice threads," Lenny chuckles. "You travel everywhere with a dressing gown?"

"Midge's," Shy shrugs. "I think it looks good on me, I might take it and buy her a new one." He sits down with his coffee just as an older woman in a maid's uniform - Zelda he supposes - steps in and freezes.

"You are Shy Baldwin."

"In the flesh," Lenny crack.

Zelda gives some kind of squeaking noise before rushing out of the room.

*****

On her way home from dropping off Ethan, Midge checks her watch and manages to run right into someone, stumbling back a little.

"Sorry!" She cries. "So-" she stops when she realizes who it is. "Oh god."

It's the man from the park.

She's in the park, obviously, but it's the man from the park that she'd had sex with who had turned out to be surprise married.

"Oh. Uh...hi."

"I have to go," Midge says quickly, before rushing off.

"But-"

"Gotta go!"

"Can't we at least talk?" he asks, rushing after her.

She whirls around. "What do we even have to talk about? You flirted with me, I fell for it, we had sex, and you turned out to be married, the end."

"But-"

"Nope!"

"But-"

"Lenny Bruce and Shy Baldwin are sitting around drinking coffee in my kitchen and they're not wearing any clothes, so if you'll excuse me, this morning has turned out to be very, very busy. I need to go."

And she leaves him there.

*****

"What is my life?" Lenny hears Midge ask from the front hall as she re-enters the apartment. He hears her heels tap down the hall and into the kitchen.

"Hi," she says, grinning at the two men still sitting there with their coffee, before she starts getting to work on breakfast.

"Walk was okay?" Lenny asks curiously.

"Fine," Midge tells him.

She passes him and he takes her hand, gently tugging her onto his lap. "Hello. We haven't said good morning yet."

"Yes we have," Midge giggles.

"Fine, but you left and now you're back, so..." He leans in and kisses her softly, causing Shy to groan.

"You two are truly disgusting," he tells them.

"It's all your fault," Midge reminds him as she hops to her feet again. "How does French toast sound?"

"Like heaven," Shy tells her.

"We're home!" a sing-song voice calls from the front hall.

Midge's eyes widen as she turns to stare at the two scantily clad men at the kitchen table. A million thoughts clearly run through her mind, and Lenny leans forward, hand to his mouth as he waits for whatever solution she's going to come up with.

She shakes her head and sighs. "Fuck it. Hi Mama! Hi Papa!"

"Good morning, Miriam-" Abe stops in the doorway when he sees Lenny and Shy, staring intently at them.

"Shy here was attacked by some very unfriendly tourists from the deep south last night," Lenny explains to Abe. "I tried to help him out, but I...well I did a bad job. Seven on two, very bad odds."

"There were seven of them?!" Midge cries in surprise. "You didn't tell me there were seven of them, you could have been killed!"

"Your daughter was kind enough to patch us up and give us a place to stay last night," Shy keeps explaining, taking over from Lenny. "And now Zelda is pressing our clothes."

"Is everyone alright?" Rose asks, looking concerned from behind Abe, having obviously heard their story.

"Nothing time won't cure," Lenny assures her. "We drank all the coffee, I can make more..."

"I've got it," Midge grins. "You sit and nurse your face. Mama, Papa, if you're hungry I can make extra French toast."

"We ate already," Abe assures her. "But coffee would be very nice. Who were these terrible hooligans?"

"No idea," Shy shrugs. "I was minding my own business and they started following me."

"Our country is a fucking joke," Lenny grouses. "Existing while black is still a punishable offense. Fuck's sake."

Soon, Abe has joined the other two men with coffee at the table, and Rose has joined Midge at the stove as she makes breakfast.

"Are you with one of these men?" Rose asks quietly.

Midge sighs softly and turns to her mother. "Maybe? Things with Lenny are really new."

"How new?"

"Made up from the fight we were having just las night new," Midge says.

"Do you care for him?" Rose asks.

Midge nods, glancing over at him. "You wouldn't know it to look at him, but he's really sweet. He didn't even know Shy and he jumped in to try and help last night, because he knew it was the right thing to do. He brought Shy here to make sure he was safe, and meanwhile his whole face was bruising up last night."

"Yes, I'm glad that's not what he looks like normally."

"Mama..."

"I'm only saying, skin conditions can be difficult to overcome," Rose says. "I'm glad he's letting Zelda press his pants this time. They were very wrinkled that last time."

Midge tries not to laugh. "You should have seen Zelda, she would not let him get away with walking out of here with less than perfect pants."

"At least he's not in such a rush to leave this time," Rose says.

"Yeah, well...if he ever wants to see me naked again-" she stops, realizing what she's just said and slowly turns to stare at her mother.

Rose sips her coffee. "What was that, dear?" she asks, clearly pretending she hadn't heard anything untoward.

"Nothing. Nothing at all."

"Is that your dressing gown Shy is wearing?"

"Yes it is."

"He looks better in it than you do," Rose tells her.

"I know. I might just let him keep it."

#fic #au #tmmm #Midge/Lenny #Midge x Lenny #Weissman Family hijynx #Shy Baldwin