Thinking about how Diavolo planted an entire fucking tree, in his fucking hidden childhood hangout spot (protected from anything and everything else in the forest that may try to get to it, mind you, so that is just about the most well-protected tree in the entire devildom--), and of course made sure it grows some of the most Quality apples in hell... Exclusively because he wanted to show Lucifer Devildom apples. What the fuck. That is the gayest thing I've ever heard. And then you find this all out specifically because he turns your little apple picking date with him into Fawning-Over-Lucifer hour, I--
He's pining so fucking hard, man. They're literally so fucking gay. The fact that these two motherfuckers basically canonically have the longest slowburn in fucking History is eating me alive orz
The Oath of Conquest calls to paladins who seek glory in battle and the subjugation of their enemies. It isn’t enough for these paladins to establish order. They must crush the forces of chaos. Sometimes called knight tyrants or iron mongers, those who swear this oath gather into grim orders that serve gods or philosophies of war and well-ordered might.
i am WHEEZING doing the quest in the fade where demons turn your friends against you and Fenris just took out Hawke and Anders in one blow. this was NOT a fight he looked at us, swung his sword ONCE and we both went down like a sack of bricks
one warrior vs two mages over in less than a second
EDIT it won't let me add a video in a reblog. I tried like five times to get the exact circumstance of the first screenshot (two wizards one blow) but i guess Anders is smart enough to run away now. still. this fight is over way faster than I can react to it
a 3 year toxic & abusive friendship just ended y'all! he literally got mad at me for spending MY money i set aside ages ago for something i wanted ( acheron ) & today msged me an ultimatum about our friendship while putting me down, expecting me to piss shit & cry & i DIDN'T & instead stood my ground & called him out on being a controller who doesn't see me as a person with a savior complex so he DIPPED! ♡ ( not without the classic ' i'm sorry u feel that way ' & ' caring for my friend is NOT a savior complex ' & making it all about himself u best believe it was OUTSTANDING but i literally don't care i've cried so much over u )
if the new trend is a breakup at the start of every year & it means decluttering my life of incessant negativity, then honestly i am HERE FOR IT
If the Young Wolf officiated Crucible matches, I think their voicelines would be a mix between Gambit and Iron Banner (oof whiplash for the people used to Shaxx screaming encouragement. They get a significantly quieter handler they probably thought was a myth)
Like. It'd be smooth and have references to their accomplishments and your Class (Hold the line, Titan. Let them break on your shield.)
But also a darker tone ("They've fucked up." if you get heavy ammo, uncontested, or a simple "Let them run.") and a mixture of jokes/puns and ominous stuff based on subclass when you cast a super ("String em up, Hunter" if you're Threadrunner/"Heaven's heading to war" if you're a Dawnblade)
They'd definitely still get excited on a kill streak/ending one (They’re fighting over rubble until they get out of your way!)
Maybe if you got the We Ran Out Of Medals, they'd say something like "Now you're a queen/king I'd bow to" (i cannot forget when Mara expected them to bow and then gave up on it, back in Lost. i died)
I think they'd speak sort of like Saladin, but with a lighter tone (most times), and an audible smirk like Drifter.
Other lines I liked but left out:
You think I stayed under when Xol buried me? Get up and fight. (your team mercy'd)
Even Ghaul fell. (end someone's 20 killstreak)
Make 'em regret standing up to you. (match start)
Leave 'em in the grave they dug for you (1v3 elimination/survival)
I pity them. They think they've won (enemy nearing victory)
I'll tell the Witness you'll be coming back for more (enemy team mercy'd)
The Cold remembers their mistakes. (Revenant super cast. that blizzard is an actual nightmare)
What doesn’t kill you, better run! (killstreak)
Outstranding jo- Shaxx! (followed by the comm cutting. I just thought them being banned from puns is funny. Rare line, set after match won)