#THIS ISNT MY THOUGHTS it’s my mutuals

[pansear-doodles]

imposter syndrome is a bitch

it can happen to artists you think are already enough or are skilled and great in your eyes

as much as it motivates us to improve ourselves and do better, its still not a pleasant feeling at all

its a persistent cycle of admiring someone who doubts themselves and i dont think its selfish to think that "you're not good enough"

because life has been cruel to us and for most of our lives we've been taught to "suck it up" or that we fear that our outputs are invalid in some way or mean nothing to anyone- the outputs that have parts of ourselves in it, even if it isn't meant to take a part of ourselves- it still came from us nonetheless

posts can easily say that you should be kind to yourself more but when it comes to trauma and something that's been with you since childhood, it's not as simple to shake off

it can take years and years- varies for every individual- and even then the people around you, the world and even yourself will change

as much as its awkward or a downer to see, be kind to artists who are hard on themselves. its not your obligation to give them attention. no, i dont think every single person who sees a vent post should come up to the person and be there for them to cry on their shoulder.

i just think at the very least we should understand that every single person you meet and the artists you admire are imperfect, and they will continue to think crappy thoughts about themselves- unlike in fantasies where its some simple character arc that is a story obstacle that can be overcome and forgotten about- fantasy is meant to be a fulfillment- a desire.

we are real human beings, but we can learn and grow and live.

#this is unfortunately why some of my friendships ended. this insecurity has controlled a lot of my life but im trying to break from it #often id see people with the bigger numbers and i tell myself to be better or if im not good enough. i cant help but feel that #“trauma isnt an excuse” for shitty behavior towards others? yes. but for people thinking crap about themselves and cant help it? not really #do you think i can be not sad at the flick of a switch? you assume i can emotionally cope well as much as everyone else simply? why? #anyway to all of my mutuals who think harshly of themselves. youre all alright. we are all here to have a good time. take things slow. #this might just me being silly neurodivergent again but there's nothing wrong with being careful like this. it *may* just be me after all #but who knows but me #thoughts

[jondrettegirls]

les amis’ woman trait

enjolras: chaste & virginal😇

combeferre: intelligence

courfeyrac: sexy

jean prouvaire: transgender💕💕

feuilly: unwanted child

bahorel: insane

joly: worries over silly things🙄

bossuet: unlucky

grantaire: difficult & contrary

#inspired by my constant thought of ‘r is literally a woman. bcuz hes so difficult’….. sorry that i think sexism is funny #u see fandoms dont care abt women unless theyre men. and im part of the problem. being self aware abt it isnt enough but its still funny #i went back and forth also on enj’s as ‘girlish beauty’ or ‘chaste and virginal’ but this way is funnier #on my own. #les mis #les amis #les amis de l'abc #les miserables #enjolras #combeferre #courfeyrac #feuilly #bahorel #joly #bossuet #jehan #jean prouvaire #grantaire #thank u to the mutuals who helped w this one🙏🏻

[oatsynalliums]

ImmortalPrize or just mattsport lol

#Mutual wanted more matt so theyre getting more matt #My art #Gabe artz #dsaf jack #dsaf matt #matt dsaf #jack dsaf #Isnt my new jack design pretty #I wanted to redesign him and i thought now of all times was a good idea

[apathetic-arsonist]

mutals stop reblogging that creativity duck post or ones like that please ohmy god

#PLEASE THINK ABOUT THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE COMPLUSIVE THOUGHTS PLEASE #i get those sometimes man its not nice! #oHHhh but baaattyyy that post isnt real its not actually going to do anything #OH MY GOD THATS NOT THE POINT MY BRAINS JUST GONNA GO “yeah okay logic dictates that this isn't real but what if huh? what then?” #GOD im sorry posts like that make me anxious even though i know their fake and seeing my mutuals spread them is upsetting sometimes

[obey-me-headquarters]

Does anyone know if there is a discord server or something for people who write dom!reader Obey Me content? I want to talk to yall that also write, but I would feel too weird if I just randomly barged into someone's Dms.... but, I wanna talk!!

#this is just me wanting to stick all my mutuals together.... #dms are fun but they can also be STRESSFUL because i want to Chat but i dont want to feel like im holding someone at gun point to respond #i just wanna share my silly thoughts.... #if there isnt a discord server than does that mean i gotta make one?? #is there like. interest in that??

[im-smart-i-swear]

insane deranged person voice so i think shiro is a wolf and kuron is a dog. you agree

#shiro vld #kuron vld #okay .hear me out on this one. humor me for a second #a dog is a kind of wolf technically. they have a lot in common. some dogs can look similiar to wolves. but theyre fundamentally diffrent #a dog is a product of a much grander process that began a long time before it was born #a dog is born with a purpose and it is baked into how it looks and acts and experiences the world #to be a dog means to be dependent and listen blindly in your devotion and bite whoever you were told to sink your teeth into #a wolf isnt born with a purpose. it just lives. it can be given a purpose but its not wired into its brain. its body isnt built to appease #it just is #a dog can look like a wolf and act like a wolf but it can never become one. it will always stay a dog. a manmade beast #its existence is a testimony to something far larger than it could ever comprehend #is it really the dogs fault if it bites someone? can you fault it for listening without a second thought? #DO YOU SEE MY VISION. ARE YOU PICKING UP WHAT IM PUTTING DOWN #sorry for this. the dog as a methaphor for blind devotion and dependency and irreversable change got to me. yknow how it is #to any followers/mutuals/random ppl who stumbled upon this post on accident: IM SORRY.

[poems-of-a-lover]

u liked my post once. do u wanna kiss me on the mouth.

#this isnt targeted i just thought it was funny KJHGSKJHGSKJ #but still shoutout to the mutuals who always like my posts love u guys #mlm #mlm yearning #mlm post #mlm love #gay mlm #mlm thoughts #t4t #trans mlm #mlm blog #t4t yearning

[uwu-scraptrappy]

I find it so silly and funny how different mogamis can be. we got @tragedy-in-sea-minor 's mogami who's got a silly goofy evil man kinda feel to him. Like if he was just .5% less traumatized and more fucked up. More ghostly, if that makes sense. The most based takes tho. and then there's @necronatural 's mogami who is like peak autism. he's very serious and honestly very intimidating as a character. and then there's mine. Not even in hell is there a soul more tormented than him. anyways I think if you put them in a room together they would start killing each other. uh. Sorry for the tags but I'm having early morning Thoughts

#mogami keiji #you put these three in a room and a fight breaks out before the door even closes #necros is like. the most normal one. #mine and tragedys are attacking each other with knives #anyways im having thoughts #its like that thing with my fbaf mutuals with our scraptraps #*fnaf #mp100 #mob psycho 100 #to the mfs i tagged above i apologize for the probably unnecessary tags #banger post. hit send. #this isnt even to mention the other goofy crow men

[empty-blog-for-lurking]

I think it is genuinely really funny that of all the Lance's from my different aus, the most chill one out of all of them is the one who got violently murdered and came back as an unperceivable eldritch horror whose first act after coming back was vengence on the guy who killed him and then steal his house.

#Not to say he doesnt have issues. For one he isnt remembered by anyone and is so utterly alone #And two everyone who he interacts with him sees a distorted version of themselves rather than him #(Which would be fun considering both Shiro and Allura aka the only two who cld remember him keep rejecting parts of themselves) #But yeah compared to the others? schrodeinger reality!Lance is just less on fire garbage can #Ps8!Lance literally landed himself in a coma and communing with horrors because he rather try necromancy and isolation over therapy #c&ai!Lance depressed ass literally got bullied into found family by a spunky teenager and an aimless clone #And would literally rather chew glass than accept that #1) he is depressed and misses his family and friends 2) he was wrong for leaving like that and is sorry #There's another Lance who is trying to kill a god like being and fights voltron the robot who has gained sentience #(This au is still in workshop but yeah) #Compared to all of That Sr!Lance is doing marginally better emotional state wise #And honestly? Good for him!!! #schrodeinger reality au #schrodeinger reality posting #post s8 au #post s8 posting #cowboys and abandonment issues au #cowboys and abandonment issues posting #This post would make sense to my one beloved mutual only and really that is what truly matters #empty thoughts #lance serrano #lance mcclain

[risingsunresistance]

you have no idea how much i care about them

#first colored drawing of zyper bc DESPITE HIM BEING ONE OF MY FAVORITE GUYS EVER I JUST SUCK AT DRAWING ANYONE THAT ISNT TECHNO #this is sketchy but that's how i wanted it to look. it's very carefully planned sketching jhdjdh #zyper's scarf is on the wrong side i do not care. i blame skyblock 😌 #this is only made for me anyways i do not care if this gets zero notes #but i AM gonna be annoying about it bc it makes me happy and i wanna ramble under it #so i will be reblogging it a bit this week i can already tell lmao #personal goal. if zyper is ever mentioned i want everyone to think of me. i want to be the zyper mutual #if you see him on hourlytechno or something. keep me in ur thoughts 😌 #and also check if there's a pqrt bc it's probably me JDHJDH #technoblade #zyper #my art #also also no one is gonna notice but i did something a bit different with techno's fur patterns and im gonna sob i love it so much #i AM keeping it. he has changed starting today

[vzajemnik]

fuck dating apps just come over and tear my chest open

#🗞️ #guess who redownloaded tinder after x years updated their profile swiped through 5 profiles and uninstalled tinder #truly this isnt for me anymore...................fuck this shit................... #til this moment i thought i have no type but no my type is just highly specific and i also dont think the people i wanna meet are on tinder #i think theyre also suffering and in agony. and definitely are not on tinder. #probably not at the club either but i dont go anywhere else besides bars and clubs and uni. and museums ig. where do ppl meet ppl genuinely #like ive met people at clubs but those were just one night stands at most. the only more meaningful relationships ive had were with people #i met at houseparties. so friends of friends. but i dont wanna date a friend of a friend im sorry #at this point the only logical step is to date tumblr mutuals. hey guys is anyone in my city. #this is so pathetic of me truly.........whatever.......WHATEVER ! maybe ill go on a walk tmr and bump into the loml on the street who knows

[pregnantsecondo]

whose the priest, who we talking about, info dump me

OSCAR !!! He showed up like three episodes ago (part 33 i think???) and he AAHDISHSOOSHODHDPDB

#i need to get my thoughts together but in a podcast like malevolent #it is sort of rare to find a character who you cant help but root for #i mean arthur and john of course but they are the main characters and oscar isnt #i like him. and hes probably going to die but who knows #asks #spooky creamo for primo #love your url still #mutual my dearly beloved

[astranauticus]

oh i absolutely gave myself way too much of a workload this semester but holy shit i finally have like... about 80% of that orv changgwi animatic down in concept and i am. cartoon villain cackling

#asto speaks #when (yes WHEN not IF) i get it done its gonna hurt so bad #i mean i dont think it'll get done *soon* cuz god my workload this semester is. something #but if my math isnt wrong the webtoon is only gonna get to chapter 188 (where i plan to cover up to in the animatic) in like june so #ive got time?? kinda?? anyway i literally *cannot* stop thinking about this fucking idea so mark my words i will get it done #also yes its going to hurt me to make too because i havent ever done an animatic for a full song yet #changgwi is one of those songs thats kinda impossible to split up idk #also because my BEST ideas are at exactly the beginning and ending of the song. convenient. #the ending was like my one major concern when i first thought of this idea actually cuz the part of the song that #originally made me think of orv was that second (third?) verse of like the spirit telling the story of its own death that felt very yjh idk #but i just had. no idea what to do with the second half of the song #but then i read the novel and chapter 188 hit me in the back of the head with a baseball bat #and now that ending might be my favourite part of the whole project #>:) #big massive sorry to all my rwd mutuals btw i know there was a bit where i kept talking about making another rwd animatic #i do still have that sitting in my brain just cuz ive already animated a few segments of the song #i just dont reaaally have a full plan for the whole thing exactly so #by this point im just seeing if we get any DX-TR lore in s5 that might inspire me idk #project 2 electric boogaloo #stay tuned idk i have a bit of a proof of concept i plan to make this/next week #its funny actually cuz i got introduced to this song through an arknights animatic i saw on bb and i spent #honestly an embarrassing amount of time worrying if some of the ideas i have in my plan were just like. subconsciously stolen from that one #but i was like procrastinating schoolwork today and trying to plan out some stuff and just #went and looked up every changgwi animatic on bilibili i could find #and turns out the stuff i was worried id been stealing are honestly just like. common among *all* the stuff ive seen that use that song? #like cuz the official lyric video for the song is just so. stylistically *striking* a lot of genetic material from that just makes its way #into everything people make using that song like at this point the monochrome red colour scheme and like #ending on a backwards timelapse (?) through the vid is basically like scenes a faire for any changgwi animatic LMAO

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

oh my GOD i just finished network effect. what if i cried.

#im FINE #i have. sooooo many feelings about sooo many things. #i know ft isnt next chronologically tho so im like. dying 2 know what happens next. i rlly rlly hope thats not the end of the story #reaction time #i..fucking love these books sooo.much more than i thought i would oh my.god #im actually rlly glad i didnt finish them last year. the timing wasn't right #altho im.glad i started it then . i think i needed mbs whole “i hate my job so im gonna watch media instead” mentality. its just like me fr #<< listened to podcasts while i was on the job like 24/7 #god. i feel like i need 2 go stare at a wall.for a whole BUT I STILL HAVE A WHOLE OTHER NOVELLA TO READ !!!!!! #just opened the first page and weve already got.mensah and indah thank god <3 #aaughghh. murderbot books so fucking good. #hey mutuals this is my propaganda. i think u should all read murderbot. i need 2 go talk 2 roswell #OH MY GOD WAIT TODAY IS ROS'S BDAY I THINK. OH MY GOD. BYE

[diions]

Dion was excited to have a brother as a child, he didn't necessarily want for one but when he was told he would have a sibling it made him happy. Seeing Olivier when he was born was a moment that immediately engraved itself within his memory, he can still recall that day clear as if it had just happened. Yet as they grew up they were kept separated, unable to have a relationship with his younger brother due to his mother's disdain of him. He would give up entirely as Anabella began sheltering and spoiling him more, they were family and yet it felt as if they were complete strangers. Now he finds the boy aggravating, he tries to remember that it isn't the boy's fault that he was raised in such a way but whenever he speaks all he can hear is Anabella. He wishes to have a bond with him, he does truly, but to him it is nigh impossible to break through that barrier the boy's mother has set up.

#❪ 🏵 ❫ headcanons / 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘶𝘯𝘣𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨‚ 𝘧𝘢𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘶𝘯𝘦𝘯𝘥𝘪𝘯𝘨 #🩸 / this isnt worded the way i want but it'll have to make do bc ic ant think of the words past this😤 #🩸 / lil edit rq bc i just refreshed my dash and saw another dion mutual post similar thought 🤝 me and u man fhjgsdfsd #🩸 / horrible timing on my end but it makes me happy that many of us have the same thoughts

[egirlgarak]

little old ladies asking for clarification on how to pronounce my name because they "want to get it right!!"🥰🥰🥰🥰

#ill admit the gig career of church musician wasnt what i thought id be doing at this point in my life #but im glad to be gigging at the churches that i am bc there has been a surprising amount of support from everyone i work with #which i wouldnt have anticipated from the catholic and episcopal establishments #tho i never talk w the catholic parishioners 😅 so idk how they would take it. but the music staff is all very nice #and everyone at the episcopal church- music staff and congregation members alike- are all very respectful and kind #sometimes they mess up but genuinely i care about some of these old people so much and i know theres a genuine mutual care and respect #that it never bothers me anyways. #for someone who isnt religious at all. working at the church really has been a warm community of people. #all gripes aside bahaha #bas.txt #idk its also lovely that the episcopal church has been so flexible w it bc theyd already known me for a year when i changed my name socially #but i do think having leadership that is very openly embracing me and adjusting their language when speaking to the ensemble has #a significant impact on the mentality of the group as a whole #i didnt anticipate these tags being so rambly 🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️🧍‍♂️ #could have just made this a whole ass text post. oh well 🧍‍♂️