#THIS IS OF COURSE PUTTING ASIDE THAT GENOCIDE IS BAD LMFAO im kinda talking more about. the subtext. just gotta put

[sword-dad-fukuzawa]

I'd just to express not only how much admiration I have for how you expressed what makes Vash the Stampede so fucking beautiful, but how your understanding of Knives and having interest and empathy for him while not buying anything he sells. He's such a fascinating and tragic individual while being so profoundly wrong, about so many things. It's so much of a relief to see someone understanding that.

me rn:

no like seriously anon this nearly made me cry (in a good way)!! some personal rambling under the cut sdkjfsdlkfn <- embarrassed but wants to explain just why that's my attitude about the twins

see, i watched this anime for vash the stampede. i remember thinking i should write a shitpost about how "guys i know my toxic men phase has ended because i'm simping for the morally upright brother instead of the hot genocidal maniac" when i finished watching episode 3 because i kinda...wrote knives off.

then tristamp busted into my room, threw me against the wall, and made me regret it.

it's not everyday a character who is so obviously trying to sell me snake oil (by which i mean he's trying to sell me on the idea that humans Suck and are Terrible and Irredeemable and it is Better to Hate Everything and Destroy Everything that Might Hurt You, Before it Has the Chance) makes me take a step back and just. look at my life.

because yeah!! i've been there!! i've been in a place where knives's ideology is powerfully compelling because it says, hey, you know all those things that are killing you slowly? the things that make you feel helpless and weak? this shitty life you're living?

you don't have to take that shit lying down. you can actually take your agency back. you can destroy them before they destroy you. you can't erase what you've suffered through but you can prevent it from happening again.

(just, you know, at the cost of closing yourself off to the good things, too. just in case they hurt you later.)

(this is the behavior of the deeply traumatized. this is the kind of behavior that perpetuates trauma.)

so like. i've been in therapy for a little over a year now. sometimes i catch myself falling into that mentality again. even though i know they're the defensive, protective behaviors that help you survive traumatic situations but actively hinder you from thriving in the absence of them, they've got a helluva siren song.

that's why i appreciate vash so much. like. that's a guy who has every reason to think like knives thinks. but he actively rails against it, rejects every bit of it. i can't say it's not unhealthy in different ways when taken to a narrative extreme, but it's also a lot closer to how i want to think about my own issues and how i want to live my life.

man the trigun twins really speedran the process of becoming comfort characters for me LOL

#THIS IS OF COURSE PUTTING ASIDE THAT GENOCIDE IS BAD LMFAO im kinda talking more about. the subtext. just gotta put #that disclaimer there djksfndsjfn #trigun #hope you have a lovely day anon :)