#Someone make him acknowledge his own site told him to gtfo

[theflyingsealion]

So like. Is Elon actually stepping down because of this poll or is he being a little bitch about that too?

#Twitter #it speaks #listen #Do I feel bad for the poor Twitter people #getting their site devastated? #Yeah kinda #But also I have no skin in this game and I am watching the drama like a starving wolf #c'mon muskrat throw another tantrum you know you want to #Someone make him acknowledge his own site told him to gtfo #The bots that got trump back on the platform weren't even enough to save his ego

[hellyeahomeland]

“Chalk One Up”: an HYH recap

It’s five days after the ceasefire. Carrie’s still riding around on motorcycles at night, though it’s unclear where she’s going or why. On her way back to her room, she hears what sounds like her voice. A few tech guys are—very loudly!—listening back to her conversation with Yevgeny and trying to make out just what the hell they were talking about.

This makes Carrie so damn anxious that the next day she ventures into the (unlocked) COMPUTER ROOM. I have no idea what she was trying to do. Hack into the main frame and delete the audio undetected? She starts rummaging through desk drawers (why???) when in walks a square-jawed military policeman. They ask her to come with them, and Carrie does about as well with this lack of info as you’d imagine. She starts yelling, doing her whole Carrie thing, then name drops Saul Berenson. “Mr. Berenson’s fully aware,” replies Officer Square Jaw. It all has the ring of that scene from “The Star” when the Iranians find Brody at the safe house and Carrie’s like “PLEASE, SOMEONE CALL JAVADI,” and they’re like, “The colonel IS. AWARE.” Everything that’s happened this season reminds me of something else. Not in a bad way...

Meanwhile, Samira’s back. She’s chatting with her friend as they go shopping. I checked and she’s only credited as “Samira’s friend,” but I FUCKING LOVE HER. She’s a “bright and shiny” person, as Shonda would say. She’s going on about how peaceful it’s been, how the ceasefire is working, and everything is changing! Samira is more than skeptical. Outside the market two men with ice cream cones approach and one offers Samira his cone. Samira’s friend decides now is a perfect time to take a selfie. It is the most awkward and tense and “something bad’s about to happen” selfie that ever existed. But I still love her. They arrive home to find Samira’s brother-in-law waiting for her. Her friend looks on concernedly and that is how we know this woman is a Queen!

Carrie continues being the opposite of chill in the car on the way to her mystery destination, which turns out to be Bagram Airfield. Carrie is about 4000% sure this means she’s off to some CIA black site but instead she just meets Saul there, and he informs her that actually President Beau is on his way. And he wants to meet her. But no one knows what about. So just chill—for real this time—for the next four hours.

In Kabul, a bunch of people and one dog file slowly into the Presidential Palace for another mystery announcement. Tasneem is there, dressed in all white and a strand of pearls, looking like the bossy but classy angel of death that she is. They do this thing where they check their phones, the same way you would a coat, and Tasneem looks HIGHLY displeased to have lost her device. We continue to stan. She runs into G’ulom inside and they both whine about how they have no idea what’s going on but also have a feeling that Beau himself is coming to Afghanistan. So actually they do know what’s going on. Anyway, Tasneem has had enough of this.

Tasneem: I’m outie, y’all. See ya on the flippity. Saul: Not so fast. Tasneem: I can’t believe you went behind my back. We were pretending to be frenemies! Now we’re just enemies! Saul: You tried to kill Haqqani. Thanks for that, btw. It really broke the log jam. I guess you could say that… backfired. Tasneem: [rolls eyes]

Elsewhere, Samira and her brother-in-law have a nice chat, and by “chat” I mean he tells her to come back to their village because people are talking and also he would like to marry her now. She tells him to gtfo and the cinematography is like something out of a tense indie domestic drama (in the best way!!).

Back at Bagram, Carrie squints her eyes, which is really not something she does all that often, unless she’s looking at a screensaver, and WHAT DO YOU KNOW Jenna is there. Carrie, I know you are already on high alert about this woman, but homie is gonna probably try to kill you.

Beau Bridges gets off the airplane and greets the Afghan President. Then he makes a beeline for Carrie, whom he wants to personally thank, because, y’know, if Keane hadn’t bailed on the presidency because she didn’t give half a shit about getting Carrie out of Moscow he might not be Commander in Chief! That’s how season seven ended, right? 

Anyhoozles, Carrie sort of changed his life and is also why he’s standing right in front of her, which bodes really well for Carrie’s constantly simmering guilty conscience. He talks about how courageous Carrie was, he can’t imagine what she went through, etc. Carrie becomes visibly emotional but is ultimately speechless. He’s likely the first person who’s acknowledged the type of sacrifice she did make, instead of glance suspiciously in her direction. He excuses himself because the next stop on his trip requires a flak jacket (always a good sign!). He gets into one of two helicopters—Chalk One and Chalk Two—and off he goes.

Carrie is hoping for a nice silent ride back to the Kabul station but Jenna has other ideas.

Jenna (booting up, non-verbally): How. To. Be. Human. Woman? … Gos. Sip. Jenna: So what did the president say? Carrie: Nothing. Jenna: It didn’t look like nothing. It looked…. INTENSE. Carrie (non-verbally): This homie really just wants me to say something passive aggressive to her again, doesn’t she? My God. Jenna: Was it classified? Carrie: No, it was personal. Can you take a fucking hint? Jenna: Carrie, you have no friends. Why wouldn’t you tell me, your not-friend, something personal that the President of the United States told you in private? Carrie: First, thanks for reminding me I have no friends. Second, he thanked me. Jenna: For being a pain in all our asses in Kabul? Carrie: No, actually he thanked me for Moscow. You know, that thing that you all think makes me look extremely suspicious? Well, our boss up top actually thinks I’m a hero. How’s that for personal, dummy? Jenna (non-verbally): I wonder what it would be like to have a mind of my own? …

Their conversation is interrupted by Samira calling Carrie, because Carrie didn’t really have enough to do this week. Samira—oops!—let her brother-in-law back into her apartment for some reason and now he and some other Taliban dudes are going to basically kidnap her and take her back to the village so he can marry her. Carrie says she’ll be there ASAP.

Another surprise! Beau is coming to the exact same combat post where Max has been trapped stationed for the last four episodes. This all plays out in a somewhat surreal montage since, for some unknown reason, Beau’s trip is being broadcast live around the world. Saul gives a speech at the palace about how peace is happening and—I shit you not—the red curtains behind him literally open up to reveal the live feed. In case we couldn’t understand that it was theater.

Meanwhile, the Hot Marines get ready for the president and Hot Evil Veep in Washington says, “No thanks, Linus, I’d rather watch this on Fox News by myself.” Tasneem sulks in the corner, and then later outside with G’ulom. Beau explains to the soldiers that they’re coming home and they cheer. He takes selfies with some of them and makes corny jokes. Everyone shakes hands and congratulates themselves on a job well done, even though several people this episode openly acknowledge that this is just step one (cue Carrie in Sara’s mind: “this—this is just phase one, the real attack has not come yet”).

Afterward, it’s finally time for Max to leave. The Hot Marines try one last time to convince him to stay—they’re still staying for the foreseeable future after all, the US Military moves at a glacial pace. Maybe it was the sad puppy dog eyes they gave him, or maybe Max really does have a sixth sense about these things, but, improbably, he decides to stay. He doesn’t get on Chalk One.

Samira is being escorted out of her apartment by her brother-in-law and some of his Taliban dudes but their car won’t start. Too bad no one was watching the car while they were inside to prevent this exact thing from happening. Anyway, Carrie appears out of nowhere and tells them not to fucking move. They have the car surrounded and she, rather gracefully and quickly, gets Samira out of one car and into the other. All in a day’s work, I guess! But she can’t revel in the triumph for too long because there’s been an “RTB” (return to base) call and they all need to go back to the station.

And why exactly? Well, the president’s helicopter (Chalk Two) is nowhere to be found. I know what you’re thinking. But it’s NOT aliens. Apparently the escort helicopter saw nothing, which is strange, because it had, again, literally one job.

Saul arrives back at the CIA station to the camera in Chalk One surveying the wooded forests, looking for Chalk Two. They locate it, spewing smoke, crashed on the ground. In the White House situation room, everyone looks around sort of dumbfounded at the feed. HEV asks who’s in charge and Linus is like, “uh… you?”

Carrie races into the command center and asks Saul what’s happening. He tells her the president’s helicopter is down. She asks how that’s possible, which is a great fucking question! Before Chalk One can land to attempt a rescue, they spot some Taliban soldiers with an RPG approaching and start shooting. They fire the RPG back and hit the helicopter directly. So much for a ceasefire. Carrie and Saul look on, shellshocked, at the now blank screens.

#this episode was a doozy #it's a perfect companion piece to 'there's something else going on' #homeland #chalk one up #* #by: sara #an hyh recap #homeland spoilers