#So instead i keep wearing what I've been since i was 8 yrd old (big hoodie or tshirt + jeans/sweatpants) would lovr to know someone

[mrfoox]

Being genderflud for me is always a mess

#Miranda talking shit #No ok it isnt... But ivr always been a.. 'tomboy' ot whatever and never been a girly girl... I mean i had to play makeup and #Dress up doll for my sister until i was 5 but after that i basically abruptly stopped wearing any dresses unless i had to... #Only thing appearance wise i kept that was feminine was long hair. Idek why i did that? Maybe bc ive always had it so i just kept it... Or #Maybe bc it was the few feminine things i had. Ive had such difficulty with my name. In the teen years it eas severe #But i still never ... Changed it? To this day i haven't. I have my online name having an mr in it but i always give my name and i mean #Yeah... I like being referred to as bro/dude and such but usually don't like being referred to as a girl... I dont hate it usually but im #Indiffrent? Maybe why ive been struggling with sx isnt only bc of my shit self esteem and that but also with gender. I know if i would have #Had the option id want to been born a guy. I mean... Most days at least i think so. Bc i am uncomfortable with my shape and organs. The #Fact i have buubs makes me wamt to shrivel up and perish. But i also mostly love my tighs. Maybe bc i like that on others as well.. #Heck idk. Sometimes i want to really go all out and make myself look cute and girly but i dont havr the confidence or knowledge #So instead i keep wearing what I've been since i was 8 yrd old (big hoodie or tshirt + jeans/sweatpants) would lovr to know someone #Whos into make up and fashion who would teach me and take me out and pick mr outfits. But also i dont think im cute enough to do that #Not cute enough and not cool enough to be a boy ... Im an oddly shaped blob /: #I dont know what i am i just let people call me whatever they want. Its a shame itd usually a girl. Thr time a kid called me 'boy' i was #Genuinely happy but then their parent corrected them and i was like damn... He had it man he knew what was up #Maybe I'd not struggle as much if i was skinny bc 98% of my time I've been overweight so..curves comes with the territory #My moms genes also got me the biggest cake in history like i cant lose it i think its permanent. It can get bigger tho