#Realm Jumper AU? Unsure

[springfallendeer]

Happy Birthday Juicy! (Wholesome)

A wholesome little story for @juicyyyboxxx to celebrate their birthday! (Would you believe we’re only a day apart?)

3300+ words

Edit: Hey guys. Do me a favor and don’t like/reblog this if you find it. I don’t want to delete it, and I’m not sure if there’s a way to private/mute a post this old. But the person I wrote it for isn’t in my life anymore, for reasons I don’t really know and therefor can’t really understand. It hurts being reminded of someone who decided to cut contact out of the blue.

Thanks.

Loneliness has a way of sneaking up on people.

It lays in wait. Watching for the worst possible time to make itself known.

Regardless of the shape it arrives in, it is always recognized. Always known.

It is the echo of an empty home. The heavy sigh of a tired mind. The ambient chatter of an unwatched television screen.

Loneliness made the quietest things seem so unbearably loud. It made the emptiest rooms feel the most suffocating. It made everything into something unpleasant.

So unpleasant that it practically triggered some primal form of fight or flight. Whether you chose to fight the loneliness or flee from it was irrelevant. The best way to do so was to get out of the house. So get out of the house you do.

You haphazardly throw on a coat and go outside. There isn’t really a plan beyond that.

The loneliness is eating away at you and all you really want to do is clear your head. You can’t do that if you stay at home.

Home is where all the painful memories are.

Home is where all the reminders of better days lay waiting.

So you just pick a direction and start walking. And you keep walking. You use the idle sounds of the world around you as a distraction from your own muddled thoughts. From the roaring of passing cars to the quiet chirping of birds. Anything that could be of a distraction, became a distraction.

Though nothing made for a good enough distraction to keep you out of your own head.

Sorrow has a way of keeping itself at the front of your thoughts. To the point that you fail to even realize when you’ve wandered off course.

The concrete path you walk suddenly transitioned into grass and soil. Buildings gave way to trees and bushes. The ambiance of the city became the chorus of the wilderness.

You notice your change of surroundings only when you find your hair getting tangled in the low hanging branches of a tree. At which point you turn about in your confusion.

Everything that you might have recognized is gone. Gone is the city. Gone are the roads. Gone are the paths you might have been able to follow. Its as if you’ve unwittingly passed through some sort of gateway.

A gateway which decided to dump you in the middle of the woods. You don’t even have the chance to try and reorient yourself before the rustling of foliage draws your attention.

You turn to look at the sound, rightly startled. Both from the sound itself and from the confusion of your situation.

What emerges from the surrounding woodland is an entity that doesn’t rightly belong in such a wild area. A hulking metal beast peeks out from behind a tree. Glowing violet eyes settle upon your frame.

You want to say that you recognize this entity. It resembles one you already know. One you already miss. Its so similar and yet so different.

Eclipse, but not Eclipse.

Pointed metal arrows form a crest around its head. A head which rotates idly from side to side as the entity studies you. You hear the clicking of its crest as each individual ray retracts. One after another. In then out. Flowing as if replicating a buffering symbol.

A bright purple light flickers on when its face stops rocking.

The rays upon its head form a halo of light around its dark, almost featureless face. Wide robotic orbs lock with yours. Its lower face parts into a smile.

A wide, sharp smile.

The jaws of a bear trap effectively grin at you. Wide and unnerving.

All at once you feel the dread. Alone in the wilderness with a giant animatronic peering down at you. Fight or flight kicks in again when this entity fully emerges from behind the tree. It reaches for you with two of its four large, clawed, robotic hands.

You run.

You run because that thing that’s found you isn’t the Eclipse you know. It isn’t your friend.

It is a warped, twisted depiction of the animatronic that you miss. Just a nightmare created by your lonely thoughts. An illusion made to validate the fiction created by your own mind.

But illusions aren’t real. They lack a solid form. An illusion cannot catch you. It cannot grab you or pull you back.

Yet somehow this one did.

Those massive, metal hands wrap around your frame and yank you into the air before you can make any reasonable distance. This massive metal beast catches you so easily that its as if you never ran at all.

Tears well in your eyes as your body is jostled about. You lock eyes with the beast as it turns you towards it. The smile it once wore is gone. Replace by an obvious frown.

Against your will your body is lifted higher into the air, held tightly by the animatronic limbs.

You clench your eyes shut, anticipating the worst. You feel your body being moved, and you tense in response. You tense in fear of the pain that is clearly to come.

But the pain never comes.

What comes is the alarmingly gentle embrace of the animatronic body. For as large and unyielding as the beast is, it handles you with utmost care. You’re pulled to its chest. All four arms carefully tangle to wrap around you. Your head is positioned to rest against its chest.

Then you’re simply held. Held and gently swayed. Swayed and rocked like a child.

You open your eyes, confused by the sudden change in attitude. For as ominous as the entity is, it handles you so gently.

Cautiously you peek up. That same, unnerving face is still there. The same dangerous looking smile has returned to its features.

But now you can see the gentleness in its eyes. Because now you were taking the time to actually see that gentleness.

Whatever this thing was, it was very, very real. For as terrifying as it looked, it wasn’t as dangerous as it seemed.

A clawed hand moved to the back of your head. You tentatively relax into the touch as the entity begins to lightly massage your scalp.

This alternate Eclipse doesn’t say a word as they proceed to carry you off. You don’t say a word either.

What can you even say?

You’re lost. Physically and mentally.

Lost and being whisked away by an absolutely massive animatronic that you didn’t know, but recognized purely due to an association with a close friend. You were carried through the woodland. What must have been a long walk for you was made so much shorter thanks to the wide gait of the animatronic.

What he carries you too is something rather surprising.

What lays before you is a small lake. There’s swans swimming about in the water. Near the pond is a picnic.

A picnic with two additional animatronics, accompanied by an unfamiliar woman.

If the animatronic which carried you was some alternate version of Eclipse, then it was easy to tell who the two new animatronics were. An alternate Sun and an alternate Moon.

The woman, Sun, and Moon took notice of you right away.

Eclipse carried you closer. He set you down upon the blanket that had been laid upon the grass. You’re immediately offered a cup of tea and a sandwich.

“Lost?” The woman inquired, casting you a knowing look.

For a moment, you can’t help but just stare at her. All of this was so strange.

Somehow you had managed to walk miles in the span of a few minutes. Somehow, you had stumbled across this futuristic Eclipse. A futuristic Eclipse that both terrified and comforted you.

Then he brought you here. To this mundane little picnic out in the middle of the woods.

And the people and machines that were already here didn’t bat an eye. They approached the situation as casually as a cat might approach an unguarded lap.

You stare at the offered food and drink for a moment.

“Yeah...” You utter quietly. Lost describes your situation pretty well. Physically and emotionally, you were lost.

Eclipse proceeded to take a seat in the grass behind you.

“Found.” Eclipse states in turn. You turn to look up at him. He’s still got that dangerous looking grin. That dangerous grin made comfortable by the kindness in his eyes.

“We have a knack for finding lost folk around here.” The woman comments, gently pushing the plate of food closer to you. “Not usually folk like you, though.” She adds. You look to her, confused. She just sort of motions towards the animatronics with her eyes.

It takes a moment for you to register what she means. She means that animatronics keep finding their way to her. Maybe even the same ones that now sit around you eating sandwiches and cake.

Cake.

Your eyes start to water as you observe the scene. The broken wording on the already cut cake made it clear what this was.

You had just unwittingly stumbled upon a birthday party. A birthday party that reminded you of what you didn’t get to have.

Try as you might, you can’t keep the first tear from falling.

Sun reaches to wipe away the tear before you can do it yourself. You peer up at him, and he smiles. He smiles a soft, reassuring smile.

“So. What brings you here?” The woman asks, now ushering a piece of cake in your direction.

More tears spill from your eyes as you stare at the cake. In trying to escape your negative feelings, you had found yourself in a place where you had no choice but to confront them.

And it hurt. It hurt to be confronted by the things that tortured you so.

Still, you don’t feel a hint of malice from the woman or from these animatronics. There’s an aura of understanding around the space. One that both comforts and terrifies you.

You take a shaky breath.

“I-I needed to clear my head.” You admit, albeit reluctantly and with a quivering voice.

The woman lifts the cup of tea to put it in your hand.

Somehow, the glass is still warm. You wrap your fingers around it. It feels so pleasant.

“Rough day?” She asks in turn. You nod.

Yes. Yes it was a very rough day for you, all things considered.

“Talk about it. You’ll feel better.” She requests, her tone soft and knowing. She speaks as if she’s been in your shoes before. Its reassuring, to say the least.

“I-its my birthday, today...” You admit, bringing your free hand up to your face to wipe your eyes “I-I have to celebrate it alone, this year.”.

The woman offers a soft hum in response as she takes a sip of your tea.

“Not as alone as you’d think.” She muses, a slight note of playfulness entering her tone. “We might not be the company you wanted. But we’ve got decent food and cake and all the privacy in the world. You could scream or cry if you wanted. The swans won’t give a shit either way.” She states, cracking something of a joke at the end as she reaches into a bowl.

The bowl is full of peas and grains.

She casually tosses a handful of feed to the swans, who swim to the edge of the pond to enjoy their snack.

You purse your lips slightly, trying to hold back the tears.

She isn’t wrong. Somehow you’ve gotten far enough away from town that no one would notice if you screamed. No one here would be bothered if you cried.

The woman sat beside you seemed like she would let you throw your head in her lap and let you bawl your eyes out. The unspoken offer proved quite tempting, but you held back.

She was a stranger to you, after all. A stranger that gave off ‘wise old sage of the woods’ vibes. It was as if you had wandered into a modern age fairytale.

She laughs softly to herself just as you make this mental comparison.

“Look, sweetie. Life is hard. The world is a cold, bitter, unfeeling place that would have no problem sending you adrift. Most days, the only comfort you get out of it is the people around you.” She speaks, looking back to you.

You sit, stunned, as she proceeds to take up the role of the ‘wise old sage of the woods’. Maybe you had walked into the world of fairies and there were just the forms they chose to take for the sake of comforting you.

“Its hard, those days that you have to spend alone. Those days where the only friends you have are your own thoughts. And your thoughts often make the worst friends. Especially when they’re left alone with you.” She further elaborates, coaxing you into taking a drink of your tea.

You do so. Its warm and sweet and leaves a minty taste on the back of your tongue. The calming effects are near immediate.

Still, the tears make their way down your face.

She says and does nothing to make you self conscious of your tears.

“What’s important is that you abuse those negative thoughts right back... But that’s easier said than done. Intrusive thoughts know all your insecurities. They know how to take the things you love and twist them into weapons used to hurt you... And sadly they’re gonna hurt you. Your emotions don’t care about logic and reason. You can know for certain that the people you want to see desperately want to see you as well. But those evil little thoughts still find a way to make you second guess that. And it sucks. Its painful and its stupid and it leaves you feeling worse, because you know those thoughts are wrong and you’ve still gone and gotten upset over it.” She continues to speak, describing the ways and methods of your internal demons to a T as she encourages you to eat and drink.

The sandwich is nothing special and the cake is just a cake. But for some reason you start to feel better the more you eat and the more she speaks. Because she describes your plight so well that its as if she’s just another part of you.

At this point you think she might be some other version of you. Though there’s so little for you to have in common.

She pauses for a moment to sigh.

“Its okay that it hurts. Painful as it gets, its just another part of being alive. You miss the people that you want to see. You think back on better days and wish that they could come back. And you worry that they won’t come back... But they will. Maybe not right away. But generally speaking, things will get better. As long as you put in the effort. Loneliness is only as strong as you allow it to be. You can be in the room full of people and still feel isolated. The silence can be deafening. And the tears sting so much more when there’s no one there to help you dry your cheeks. But the way to fight loneliness is to find companionship. It can be something as simple as a pet or something as great as a spouse... And it takes time. Loneliness is a beast that tends to linger. It waits until the room is empty. It waits until the space is silent. And it comes creeping back. You can fight it. But you can never beat it. Because its just as much as part of you as the joy you feel, and it can be just as fleeting as the air you breathe... To be lonely is to be alive. No matter how much you hate it, its important when its there. So long as you’re willing to fight it, you’ll eventually find the way to overcome it.” She speaks, going off on a bit of tangent as she lets her thoughts take the form of spoken word. She speaks harsh truths and words of comfort in random patterns. All the while her words encourage the tears to continue flowing down your cheeks.

Still she reaches to dry your tears, her eyes soft and knowing.

“I-Its so hard...” You eventually manage to choke out, your voice cracking from the quiet sob that wracks your body.

She responds in turn by taking your hand and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“I know its hard. Staving off loneliness is a constant, unending fight... A fight that can leave you exhausted. Sometimes you need a break. Sometimes you need to rest. And that’s alright. Its okay to be tired. Its okay to be sad. These emotions are a part of you and for as ugly as they feel, they’re part of what makes life beautiful. Just like the sun or the rain. Sometimes they’re pleasant, and sometimes they ruin your day. You need them, all the same. For as tragic as they can be and for as exhausted as they can leave you, they’re important.” She hums, idly scooching closer to you.

You in turn let your face fall against her shoulder. She doesn’t move or shy away, even as you stain her shirt with your tears.

“The hardest part of loneliness is not knowing how to escape it. It makes you feel pathetic. It makes you feel weak. It makes it hard for you to ask for help. Because it makes you feel stupid for getting so worked up over something so trivial... But its okay to ask for help. Something as simple as sharing small talk with a stranger can give you that feeling of relief when the people you need the most can’t be there. There’s nothing wrong with needing company.” She murmurs, rubbing your back as you continue to cry into her shoulder.

“Does it get easier?” You can’t help but ask between the hiccups. She gives your shoulder a squeeze.

“Eventually. But you have to put in the effort.” She responds. “Not everyone will want your company. Not everyone will share your interests. You have to be willing to branch out and meet people on common ground... And it takes time. But so long as you keep at it, you’ll be bound to find the company you crave. And it won’t keep the loneliness away forever.” She states.

You nod against her shoulder.

“Is any of this real?” You murmur. The whole situation feels overly convenient. For as real as the moment feels, you logically know it can’t be.

A walk in the city doesn’t just dump you in the middle of the woods. You don’t just stumble upon strangers that conveniently have all the words needed to describe your suffering.

You listen as she laughs quietly to herself.

“I ask myself that a lot.” She replies, giving your shoulder another squeeze. “Maybe you’re a dream. Maybe I’m the dream. Maybe all of this is real and we just can’t explain it. Life is full of things we can’t quite understand. Either way, we’ll have these memories. We might forget each other’s faces. We might forget this talk. But we’ll remember how we felt. And that makes this real enough for me.” She states.

You pry yourself away from her shoulders, your tears having finally stopped.

Again, she coaxes you into drinking your tea. Somehow the glass seems just as full as when you started. The cup feels just as warm, despite the time that has passed.

“Happy birthday...” You murmur, not quite sure what else to say. She offers a soft laugh in turn.

“My birthday is tomorrow.” She states, before taking a sip of her tea. Your eyes widen as she smiles at you. “Happy birthday~” She replies in turn, her smile soft and knowing.

How peculiar it all was to have found her here. How peculiar it was to find this total stranger who knew so much yet explained so little.

You smile to yourself, feeling the moment fade away.

A dream, but not a dream.

You blink and suddenly you’re home. As alone and isolated as before. Yet the emptiness feels less suffocating, thanks to the memories.

The memories of her words. Of her understanding.

The taste of mint tea still lingering on your tongue.

#big juicy #happy birth #Ayala #Eclipse #Sun #Moon #Realm Jumper AU? Unsure #close enough tho #do not like or reblog #thnx