#ROUUUGH pls avert ur gazes xoxo

[caseyrussell]

FULL NAME: Casey Kennedy Russell

AGE: 20

BIRTHDATE: [tbd while Ella looks for a date in april that will give this man his astrological placements... bear with me x]

GENDER: Cis man

OCCUPATION: College student, prospective internship at HAH

POSITIVE TRAITS: dauntless, outgoing, protective, adaptable, passionate, direct, resilient, compassionate, loving, caring, fun loving

NEGATIVE TRAITS:  impulsive, impatient, brooding, reckless, secretive, cynical, hotheaded, adaptable, defensive, stubborn

ASTROLOGICAL PLACEMENTS: Aries sun, Scorpio moon, Pisces rising, Taurus mercury, Pisces mars, Aries venus (yes, that one earth placement is clinging on for dear life) 

INSPIRATION: [John Bender (The Breakfast Club), Ronan Lynch (The Raven Cycle), Sirius Black (Harry Potter), James Cook (Skins), Jess Mariano (Gilmore Girls), Han Solo (Star Wars), Daniel Desario (Freaks and Geeks), Heathcliff (Wuthering Heights), Marianne Sheridan (Normal People)]

Biography (tw child abuse/child neglect)

It feels like a life borrowed from someone else a lot of the time. Like watching yourself from the outside in as the movie plays before you. Life led as if it's a chair whose occupant had recently left - the uncertainty of when they might come back and take it away at any moment. Or at least, that's how it would feel when Casey grew old enough to understand his feelings beyond the confusion, sadness and loneliness that would tug in his gut no matter how busy their house was. With a name borrowed from two men greater than he, perhaps it was set in stone from day one that he'd settle nicely between his two brothers. Slap bang in the middle (although there's never a complaint, Ronnie and Noah have always been two of the better things going on in his life).

It wasn't as if Mila Russell ever gave the impression she wanted kids. In fact, from the way Ronnie often felt like more of a parent than his mother - Casey would argue that they were all just something that kind of happened to her rather than the kind of wish mothers made in Disney movies. Or whatever the Cabbage Patch dolls origin story tried to sell. Mr. Russell didn't give much of an impression at all; out the door when Casey's just about old enough to nag Ronnie for answers and imagine what their male 'role model' may be up to.

And it's fantastical. In the way children's imaginations often are, the ideas are farfetched. Ideas of him travelling and collecting stories, contributing to world peace... saving people from burning buildings and cats from up trees. To a little boy who had a mischievious grin and was otherwise told he had too much energy, the fantastical tales of what his 'dad' may be up to got Casey through his earliest school days. Your dad's an accountant? Well, my dad sang with John Lennon'. He never says it's in his dreams. Mr. Russell is a hero to everyone in his imagination. Everyone except for Casey who had longed for a parental figure at parents' nights without ever really knowing. For the kind of stability that he saw his friends have at school and that his mother's latest fling wasn't providing.

He'd picked up a bass that a fling had left behind at some point and that was the new story. Mr. Russell - had to leave at the drop of the hat as the Stones requested him as their understudy bassist. It didn't matter then that Casey didn't even know the name of the instrument in his hands. It was about vision.

It would have been easier if Mr. Russell had remained a dream. Casey could have handled the arguments with his mother's boyfriends or the tension in their house if he'd still had a hope that somewhere out there, an adult in his family was good. But, as he'd come to accept, that just wasn't life. Not black and white. Because Mr. Russell comes back and he makes sure all of them know he's returned, too. It's not even the bruises or the gashes that happen subsequently that hurt most - it's the thought that they'd been abandoned because a man loved liquor more than he loved them. And it leaves a confused ache in Casey's bones that he's not sure has ever fully shifted (only lifted slightly by Elaine and then Zahra). But it's more than that too. Because where the hurt glazes over, and the tear stains dry on pillows, it leaves something deeper in his chest. Anger. As intense as he's ever felt it.

Which might just be Casey in a nutshell. Intensity in every emotion that rips through him and takes control. He's the loud guffaw at the back of the car on a long journey when the silence is a bit too loud, the excessive tap to a back and riproaring cheer at a friend's success, and the need to replace nights spent crying into a pillow with sources of entertainment by any means necessary. It's all or nothing.

Of course, over time, the intense feeling of anger died to a duller feeling of resentment and cynicism that carried him forward through high school. Faded into the biting remark that would chip away at one of his mother's new flings or the need to stand up to Mr. Russell on behalf of either of his brothers. It would have been easier to ignore them entirely. Perhaps take solace in the fact that in a few years, Ronnie would be eighteen and could save them all from it. But Casey has never been known to take the easy way out of anything. Driven solely by his heart and not guided by his head. If no adult would stand up against his demons and fight for him - he'd do it himself; craft stories out of the bruises that sounded fantastical and make himself a hero. Still would. Even if, somewhere in the midst of hearing criticisms and remarks, he wasn't so sure he was worth fighting for. (He still isn't).

High school was mainly just another way to act out. Stupid rules and stupid social hierarchies. Somewhere... however... the want to escape from the bubble that was Cherry rose up in between wanting to actually be someone Elaine would want to be with and crafting himself into what his richer friends seemed to be granted naturally. The kind of person that his friend's father, Harvard Hargrove II seemed to be - poised, put together... being able to command effortless respect (aside from the capitalism). Of course, in Casey's eyes, this also meant needing to be twice as good as his best friend - Harvey.

It fails in many ways. He fails in many more and it takes the next two years after high school just to scramble together the pieces in an attempt to put them back together again while hoping behind a scowl that no-one would notice. He thinks he's just about holding together now - somehow. There's less nights spent chugging away at a bottle and asking people to dare him to do something careless. There's a lot less hoping he leaves the world rather than just the town borders... although he'd still take leaving town in an amazing blaze of glory any day and leaving his mark. But for now, he'll handle it. He somehow always manages to anyway.

HEADCANONS

Massive Led Zeppelin fan. He has three tattoos behind his left ear of the symbols from their fourth album and hopes to be able to get the full four eventually!

Adores animals. Is the guy at a party who purposely seeks out ur dog just to scratch them behind the ears. Would happily petsit for anyone in the gang and probably has, like, a crap ton of polaroid pictures of himself with Rex Russell. 

Very much a follower of the ‘here for a good time, not a long time’ mantra. 

Loves ABBA an ungodly amount but hides all of their records in inconspicuous sleeves. If you see two copies of 'London Calling' in his house? One copy is ABBA gold.

Rides a secondhand motorcycle that backfires far too often and really should probably be scrapped but he’s ~nostalgic~ and loves it anyway. 

Used to play soccer in high school but was asked ‘politely’ to leave the team after being constantly red carded for trying to start fights with the other team. He still kicks around a soccer ball every now and then and will happily talk your ear off about his (not so lowkey) crush on Diego Maradona. 'Did you see him at the 1982 World Cup? No? Want to watch the highlights I recorded on VHS?".

He has a map of the world taped to his wall covered by... another map of the world taped on the wall! The old one is ripped at every corner from where he has almost torn it down in a fit of rage, and yet it stays. It serves as a reminder that there’s more to life than just Cherry where everything seems impossible.

Loves a microwave meal. For the longest time, they were the only thing he really knew how to make so he’s learnt how to spruce them up a little. Nowadays, his cooking abilities don't extend much beyond this rip.

Adoooores Albert Camus and existentialist philosophy. Yes, he does want to understand the meaning of life because really,,,, what the fuck.

#cusaintro #ROUUUGH pls avert ur gazes xoxo