#Pirate fan Rachelle's introduction post!
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*＊✿❀ 𝐼𝑛𝑡𝑟𝑜𝑑𝑢𝑐𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛 ❀✿＊*
Hello Hearties! My name is Rachelle, and I'm an Multifandom artist! (Digital & Traditional)
I'm 16 years old and I go by she/her pronouns! I'm also from Indonesia 🇮🇩 (Unfortunately, I'm not very fluent with my native language, so my apology in advance)
I'm just a small artist who has a obsession over Pirates (and Vikings!)
I mostly do multifandom stuff here but I also include my ocs drawing!
Nice to meet you all~!
★ My other Blogs ★
@mysticverse-productions (Main Project blog)
@rachie-is-here (Pokémon blog)
@project-v (Side Project blog)
@rasheru-iroha (Oreca Battle & ORE'N blog)
❀ Social Media Linktree!
https://linktr.ee/RachelleHeart
❀ Fandom List carrd! (WIP, I got lazy and there's actually more fandom I joined)
https://rachelleheart5fandom.carrd.co/
♥ Tags from me!
Go to (#Rachelle Heart's favourite post) to find useful stuff I found for drawing & writing source 🎨📝
❀ BYI
• Please don't go to my DMs just to rant/Vent with me (I don't know you, you're not one of my mutuals or trusted close friend), unless it's very important.
• Do not send drawing request to me in my inbox, because I don't draw for free unless (1) if I made post about free drawing request (2) you're one of my close friends who I trust.
• I can be a sensitive or a shy person, so don't expect me to be very talkative
• Expect me to post/reblog muslim related content (as a Islam myself) sometimes
• I won't be active a lot because of school
⚠ DNI List! ⚠
Very important, because I get really uncomfortable when these kind of people interacting with me, be warned that I will mention so much triggering topic here in this list(undercut)!
Do Not Interact with me if you are...
➥ Proshipper / Comshipper
(Basically you like problematic ship that are Pedophilia, incest/shipping relatives whether they're related or not, abusive, r*pe, and many-many more that are problematics, and doesn't care because it's just fictional)
➥ Homophobic & Transphobic
➥ Pedo/Lolicon/Shotacon/Kodocon/MAPs
(Pretty self explanatory)(both real life & fiction)
➥ if you're one of those "Fiction can't affect reality" people (please leave me alone, you don't need to rant about me)
➥ People who hate Oc x canon and Self-shipping (This is one of my coping mechanism)
➥ Racist/Xenophobic/Antisemitisme (again, pretty self explanatory)
➥ Islamphobia (I'm an Islam myself, and anyone who call any Islam/muslim a "terrorist" please get out and find a therapist/mental hospital)
➥ Nazis
➥ Zionist (fun fact: hating Zionist doesn't make you antisemitism!)
➥ Fetishizer (yes, I'm looking at you Fujoshi and Himedanshi, fetishizing same sex relationships is not cool)
➥ Vivziepop / J.K Rowling (any problematic creators) stans (sorry HP & HB/HH fans, but I just despise them, as a former fan)
➥ Lily Orchard and any problematic Commentary channel supporter (Yeah no, you're not welcome here)
➥ Anti-Critism (I'm the type of person who's willing to get critized, in polite way)
➥ Zoophiles
➥ NFTs Supporter
➥ Art thief
➥ Palworld supporter (GTFO, I DON'T WANT YOU)
➥ if you support "Ai art" or game made from Ai generated (fuck you, really)
➥ NSFW/18+ blogs (I'm a minor)
➥ If you have "very weird" fetishs (take Amputations fetish as an example)
➥ If you support TERF
➥ If you like sending d3ath Thr3ats (please don't, this triggered my past trauma.)
➥ If you're from a problematic fandom (ex. Your Boyfriend, YBC, DSMP, Ranfren[read this doc to know why Ranfren is bad], Coffin of Andy and Leyley, Gushing over magical girls anime, etc..)
➥ You support Flags that are not valid (Ex. Maps, Super Straight, trans-Age, Trans-Race, etc...)
And many-many more Problematic things!
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He’s All That: Influencer Addison Rae Helms a Cast of Familiar Faces
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For Gen-X viewers, He’s All That is a story we’ve seen before: Pygmalion or My Fair Lady, but updated with cultural references, settings, and technology that make the story of the lesson behind the plot—that the person you are is more important than the image you put forth—more connected to a modern audience. But digital natives who have grown up with as much with TikTok as with teen movie tropes will have a far richer experience, recognizing the cast not only as actors, but as the same influencers they’re playing.
From director Mark Waters, this update, a gender-bent response to 1999’s iconic She’s All That, features a young influencer who, due to the live broadcast of a messy breakup with her budding rock-star boyfriend, loses her sponsorship (and is outed as the poor girl she truly is). The only way to get her sponsor back and save face is to prove she’s the makeover queen, able to make over any boy at their school the way she sculpted her ex’s image.
While the cast features a number of familiar faces and voices, this is not only Addison Rae’s film, it’s her first film. As her character Padgett Sawyer, the real-world TikTok celeb leads the familiar story through all the right beats, accompanied by pop-up chat windows and emojis that represent the presence of social media in the lives of all but Cameron Kweller (played by Tanner Buchanan), the object of Padgett’s make-over efforts.
Here’s a look at the cast, including some blink-or-you’ll-miss-it cameos of other influencers among the cast members…
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Addison Rae as Padgett Sawyer
Although this is Rae’s first full-length feature, she is no stranger to the camera. She began her career as a dancer, who in 2019 launched a TikTok channel featuring her dance takes on popular songs. At only 20, the Louisiana celeb is worth over $5 million and has more than 83.4 million followers on TikTok (far more than her character in the film). Rae has her own merchandise line, but has also endorsed brands including Chantilly Boutique, Cheapskate, FashionNova, McCrary Jewelers, and Uptown. (It seems doubtful that she relies on any of them for corporate sponsorship, the way Padgett relies on sponsor Bunny Venom, given her per-video payout rate on TikTok and the reports of what she brings in monthly on YouTube.)
Character Padgett is known for her makeover how-tos (some of which give bad advice, such as using toothpaste to reduce pimples), and in fact Rae’s very first YouTube video was showing how to do hair and makeup. Another is a Q&A with her 2020 flame, Bryce Hall. But more of her videos on both YouTube and TikTok feature music, and in addition to the requisite teen movie dance numbers featured in He’s All That, Rae does an excellent karaoke in the film with co-star Buchanan.
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Bryce Hall‘s Cameo
Speaking of Bryce Hall, Rae’s fellow TikTok star (21 million followers) makes a cameo in the film. Hall’s career as an influencer began when he livestreaming on YouTube at age 15 in an effort to make friends after being bullied. The social media influencer moved from Maryland to Los Angeles and joined TalentX Entertainment’s Sway House to create content for multiple platforms.
In the film, Hall has no lines, but commiserates with Padgett’s ex, Jordan Van Draanen (Peyton Meyer) about girls. In the scene, Van Draanen soulfully mourns that the girl he dumped Padgett for has ghosted him, then asks his friends (including Hall) if they caught all that on camera. (By the time of the film release, Hall and Rae were no longer together, which may make viewers curious how Hall now feels about that scene…)
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Spencer X as the DJ
TikTok viewers may also catch the cameo of Beatboxer Spencer X as the DJ behind the karaoke competition. With over 54 million followers, the sound effects champ (who includes the label Mouth Music Man on his site) also has two singles of beatboxing and remixed vocals available on Spotify.
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Kourtney Kardashian as Jessica Miles Torres
While Kardashian needs no introduction, this real-life friend of Rae’s takes on the role of Padgett’s sponsor, an exec at Bunny Venom, who fires Padgett when her image goes wrong. Kardashian became a reality star in 2007’s Keeping up with the Kardashians and is involved in fashion along with her sisters. Due to her popular presence on social media, Kardashian is regularly compensated by brands for featuring their products in her posts. She has also helmed the lifestyle website, Poosh.
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Tanner Buchanan as Cameron Kweller
Coming from a more traditional acting background, Buchanan plays an artist who has no interest in the falseness of the high school world (and gives out sage words of wisdom)–though deep inside, he’s still mourning the loss of his mother and feel disconnected from his family and friends until Padgett breaks through his armor. Viewers might recognize him from TV series like Game Shakers or Designated Survivor, but the martial arts skills he shows off in He’s All That might be better attributed to the set of Cobra Kai, another Netflix production (after its first two seasons on YouTube Red) in which he plays Robby Keene.
Peyton Meyer and Madison Pettis
Padgett has two antagonists in the film: ex Jordan Van Draanen (Meyer) and rich girl frenemy Alden (Madison Pettis). Meyer is known for Girl Meets World and American Housewife, while Pettis made her name as Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson’s daughter in The Game Plan on the Disney Channel. If her voice is familiar, it may be because the He’s All That mean girl also played animated characters including Izzy in Jake and the Neverland Pirates and Zuri in The Lion Guard.
Myra Molloy and Annie Jacob
This 2021 update to the classic teen movie features a secondary romance between two queer girls of color—Padgett and Cameron’s besties who hit it off, despite their social strata differences. LEGO fan Nisha is played by Annie Jacob, known for her role as Glory Moffett on Motherland: Fort Salem. Sweetheart rich girl Quinn is played by relative newcomer Myra Molloy.
Matthew Lillard as Principal Bosch
In the 1999 film She’s All That, Lillard played an obnoxious reality star who steals the girlfriend of the main character, played by Freddie Prinze Jr (also Lillard’s co-star in Scooby Doo). Lillard isn’t shown for most of He’s All That, as only his voice is featured for the majority of the movie, until the final scene, in which he’s revealed to be the principal of the high school.
Rachel Leigh Cook as Anna Sawyer
She’s All That lead star Cook comes back not as her original character, but as Padgett’s mom, who is a nurse working hard to keep them in the best school district. As the film comes to a close, a remix of the song “Kiss Me” plays at the school dance–a direct call back to the original film, which used that as the main theme. Cook’s recent Love, Guaranteed was another Netflix Original.
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While He’s All That offers no surprises, the cameos and callbacks to the original film make this teen movie enjoyable as exactly what it is: a familiar tale with the usual happy ending, updated for a new audience.
The post He’s All That: Influencer Addison Rae Helms a Cast of Familiar Faces appeared first on Den of Geek.
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A Kurt and Blaine Fan’s Very Serious Guide to Glee
Are you a fan of Kurt, Blaine or Klaine? Are you thinking about rewatching Glee and aren’t sure what episodes to savor and what episodes to skip? Well -- I have just the guide for you.
Season 1
Pilot: Introduction to the show. Apparently, Kurt is not the main character, or the secondary main character. Blaine does not exist. Kurt sings Mr. Cellophane and is sassy. He also gets thrown in a dumpster.
3/10 Stars**
(Stars are based on how much Kurt and/or Blaine are in the episode, and have no bearing on quality of the episode. Y’all should know that I’m good with my scientific evaluation of these episodes by now.)
Showmance: Kurt sits in the background and has less sassy remarks.
1/10 Stars
Acafellas: Kurt comes out to Mercedes and shows he’s more of a man than Will will ever be.
8/10 Stars
Preggers: Kurt comes out to his dad, scores the game winning goal in the football game, rocks out to Beyonce in a leotard, and proves he’s by far the most interesting character on this show.
10/10 Stars
The Rhodes Not Taken: Kurt cries when Kristin Chenoweth sings, and throws up on Emma’s shoes.
2/10 Stars
Vitamin D: Kurt wears cool sunglasses, and sides with the girls.
2/10 Stars
Throwdown: Sue refers to Kurt as gay kid.
1/10 Stars
Mash-Up: Kurt throws a slushie in his own face.
1/10 Stars
Wheels: Kurt challenges Rachel to a diva-off, and throws the high note in Defying Gravity to protect his father. We are all emotional.
10/10 Stars
Ballad: Kurt and Finn bond over their dead parents.
9/10 Stars
Hairography: Kurt makes over Rachel and wants to stuff a sock in her mouth.
7/10 Stars
Mattress: Kurt spouts off exposition to set up the plot.
1/10 Stars
Sectionals: Kurt, um, goes to Sectionals because they need 12 people.
1/10 Stars
Hell-O: Kurt gets a slushie in his face while walking with Rachel and Mercedes.
1/10 Stars
The Power of Madonna: Kurt and Mercedes make over Sue for the greater good. They become cheerleaders.
9/10 Stars
Home: Kurt sets up Carole and Burt, but is sad when Finn and Burt begin to bond, making him feel left out. It’s tragic. Pretty Kurt cries.
10/10 Stars
Bad Reputation: Kurt is a badass, posts Sue’s Physical video online, distracts people in the library, and tells Sue the truth.
8/10 Stars
Laryngitis: Kurt dresses like red-neck trucker, makes out with Brittany, tries to lower his voice an octave, and then sings a really angsty Gypsy song, and is generally glorious.
11/10 Stars
Dream On: Kurt is excited about bedazzled shit. Has no lines.
1/10 Stars
Theatricality: Kurt dresses up like Lady Gaga, stands up to bullies, sets up a love nest for Finn, and very theatrically kicks over a chair.
10/10 Stars
Funk: Kurt sings a 12 minute Celine Dion medley in French for the Cheerios. We don’t get to see it.
2/10 Stars
Journey to Regionals: Kurt, um, goes to regionals because they need 12 people.
1/10 Stars
Season 2
Audition: Kurt gets a slushy to his face. Becomes a main character - only not in this episode
1/10 Stars
Britney/Brittany: Kurt is very sassy about Britney Spears
3/10 Stars
Grilled Cheesus: Burt almost dies of a heart attack and Kurt is very sad. Sings I Want to Hold Your Hand, and we all cry. Also religion.
10/10 Stars
Duets: Kurt sings a duet with himself, which is vocal masturbation. Also sings a duet with Rachel, which is just a duet.
10/10 Stars
The Rocky Horror Glee Show: Kurt dresses up as RiffRaff and hides in the background
1/10 Stars
Never Been Kissed: BLAINE ARRIVES AND ALL IS GLORIOUS YES WE ARE ALL HERE FOR THIS!
10/10 Stars
The Substitute: Kurt and Blaine going on a date to Breadstix. Mercedes is also there.
6/10 Stars
Furt: Kurt and Finn’s parents get married and everyone is all one big happy mashed-up family.
10/10 Stars
Special Education: Kurt joins the warblers and gets a pet bird
8/10 Stars
A Very Glee Christmas: Kurt and Blaine sing a flirty Christmas song to each other that has nothing to do with anything else in the episode.
4/10 Stars
The Sue Sylvester Shuffle: Blaine loves football. Kurt loves scarves. They’re both mostly ignored because too gay to be after the Superbowl
2/10 Stars
Silly Love Songs: Kurt and Blaine pretend to be Harry and Sally. Blaine thinks he’s in love with Jeremiah because he’s dumb and doesn’t know he’s really in love with Kurt.
10/10 Stars
Comeback: Kurt and Blaine are not in this episode. I think it’s about Justin Beiber. They’re probably grateful they missed it.
0/10 Stars
Blame it on the Alcohol: Blaine still hasn’t figured out he’s in love with Kurt. Gets very drunk and makes out with Rachel instead. Kurt gets snarky.
10/10 Stars
Sexy: Blaine is sexy. Kurt tries to be sexy. Blaine talks to Burt about sex. Burt talks to Kurt about sex. The Warblers have a giant foam party.
9/10 Stars
Original Song: Kurt’s bird dies. Blaine figures out he’s in love with Kurt. They kiss and are interrupted by a giant red piano. Also Candles.
12/10 Stars
A Night of Neglect: The show neglects Kurt and Blaine are on it. Stick them in a scene with Karofsky and Santana because all the gays together.
1/10 Stars
Born This Way: Kurt comes back to McKinley. Tells everyone they should be themselves. Blaine serenades Kurt in the court yard. It’s all very romantic. Barbra Streisand is not in a mall in Ohio.
10/10 Stars
Rumours: People think Kurt is secretly dating Sam. These people are dumb because he’s not. He’s dating Blaine. Sometimes the truth is what’s actually standing in front of you.
5/10 Stars
Prom Queen: Kurt rocks an epic look for prom. Is voted Prom Queen. Blaine asks him to dance. It is glorious.
10/10 Sparkly Stars
Funeral: Kurt and Finn help Sue plan her sister’s funeral. Also Kurt auditions to be the star -- but fails because Lea Michele and Ryan Murphy are bff.
6/10 Stars
New York: Kurt and Rachel decide that they’re going to go New York forever. They sing on a Broadway stage. Kurt decides Blaine will come with. Also - I love you.
6/10 Stars
Season 3
The Purple Piano Project: Kurt and Blaine eye-fuck each other in the Lima bean because they aren’t actually having sex yet. Blaine transfers to McKinley, which is a totally great idea and has no repercussions whats so ever. Blaine serenades Kurt in the courtyard round 2.
10/10 Stars
I Am Unicorn: Kurt proves he’s the most unicorn of all the unicorns. Blaine becomes a junior.
10/10 Stars
Asian F: Kurt gives Blaine flowers.
2/10 Stars
Pot o Gold: Kurt runs for student council. Blaine sings a solo.
3/10 Stars
The First Time: KURT AND BLAINE HAVE SEX AND IT’S ALL GLORIOUS!!!
50/10 Stars
Mash Off: Kurt tries to ban dodgeball. Blaine plays supportive boyfriend.
4/10 Stars
I Kissed a Girl: Kurt looses the student election. Blaine plays supportive boyfriend.
4/10 Stars
Hold Onto 16: Kurt is snarky with Sebastian. Blaine beats up a punching bag.
4/10 Stars
Extraordinary Merry Christmas: Kurt and Blaine host a Christmas party in their bachelor chalet in the Swiss Alps. Blaine sorta proposes to Kurt, but it is cut “for time”.
10/10 Stars
Yes/No: Kurt and Blaine look at each other. Yup. That’s what happens.
1/10 Stars
Michael: Blaine pretends to be a pirate. Kurt and Blaine sit three feet apart not on the bed because too gay.
8/10 Stars
The Spanish Teacher: Kurt totally would not ever, no ever say yes to Blaine’s proposal. Blaine recovers from being a pirate.
2/10 Stars
Heart: Kurt is stalked by a giant gorilla. Blaine returns from his recovery.
7/10 Stars
On My Way: Kurt cries himself through the episode. Blaine stays quiet.
5/10 Stars
Big Brother: COOPER ANDERSON! A man in a dress is dead
10/10 Stars
Saturday Night Gleever: Kurt and Blaine are more than a woman to each other. Kurt and Mercedes befriend Unique.
4/10 Stars
Dance With Somebody: OH NO FIGHTS AND ANGST AND OH NO! But everything works out and Kurt serenades Blaine and stops putting bronzer in Blaine’s moisturizer.
10/10 Stars
Choke: Kurt auditions for NYADA. Blaine is a supportive boyfriend. Also no more candles.
7/10 Stars
Promasaurus: Kurt and Blaine decided to go to an anti-prom, then real prom. Blaine takes out the gel in his hair. Supposedly a lot of after prom sex, but we don’t see any of it because censors.
8/10 Stars
Props: Finn and Puck pretend to be Kurt and Blaine. Kurt and Blaine pretend to be Snooki and The Situation
5/10 Stars
Nationals: Kurt and Blaine, um, go to nationals because they need 12 people.
1/10 Stars
Goodbye: Kurt says goodbye to everyone but Blaine. Blaine is still sad. Kurt is sad because he doesn’t get into NYADA.
9/10 Stars.
Season 4
The New Rachel: Kurt lounges around Lima before going to New York. Blaine is sassy. Blaine serenades Kurt in the courtyard round 3.
7/10 Stars
Britney 2.0: Blaine catches Britney talking to herself. Kurt fills Rachel in on the exposition.
3/10 Stars
Makeover: Kurt gives Rachel a makeover, gets a job at Vogue.com, and ignores his boyfriend. Blaine runs for student council and wins. Blaine is sad.
9/10 Stars
The Break Up: KURT AND BLAINE BREAK UP THIS IS THE WORST EVER!!
-15/10 Stars
The Role You Were Born to Play: Blaine gets to be a literal angel, but cries about his break up for one scene. Kurt watches The Notebook and takes ambien, but off screen.
1/10 Stars
Glease: Kurt and Blaine silently angst at each other.
2/10 Stars
Dynamic Duets: Blaine gets to be a super hero and learns to forgive himself. Also becomes bff with Sam. Kurt is drinking Rachel’s Kool-Aide off screen.
10/10 Stars
Thanksgiving: Rachel brain washes Kurt into staying in New York instead of going home. Isabelle talks sense into him. Kurt and Blaine have a phone call and it’s sad but it’s good.
4/10 Stars
Swan Song: Blaine becomes a cheerleader. Kurt sings his way into NYADA
5/10 Stars
Glee, Actually: Burt gives Blaine as a present to Kurt. Kurt and Blaine may or may not sleep together.
8/10 Stars
Sadie Hawkins: Blaine gets a crush on Sam. Kurt gets a crush on Adam. Both ignore that they’re still in love with each other. Trent Warbler comes back.
9/10 Stars
Naked: Kurt does not get naked. Blaine gets semi-naked.
3/10 Stars
Diva: Kurt takes down Rachel and it’s satisfying. Blaine gets steamrolled by Tina.
10/10 Stars
I Do: Kurt and Blaine sing a flirty love duet, make out in a car, and have sex in a hotel room. But they’re only friends.
10/10 Stars
Girls and Boys on Film: Kurt has a fantasy about Blaine. Adam takes Kurt to a romantic film, and he’s mysteriously never seen again.
8/10 Stars
Feud: Blaine is not on the bottom. Not really. Blaine infiltrates Sue’s cheerios. Kurt’s upset because Santana took his pillow.
7/10 Stars
Guilty Pleasures: Kurt sleeps with Bruce, and watches a lot of TV. Blaine sings Phil Collins. They throw the magical, golden hoola-hoop of destiny to each other.
10/10 Stars
Shooting Star: Blaine quietly stays out of the plot. Kurt quietly stays out of the episode.
.5/10 Stars
Sweet Dreams: Blaine tries to take over New Directions, but Will yells at him. Even when he’s right. Kurt bakes cookies.
2/10 Stars
Lights Out: Kurt goes to the ballet. Blaine does an exercise routine.
3/10 Stars
Wonderful: Kurt returns to Lima to make sure Burt is okay. Blaine decides to buy a ring for Kurt. All is wonderful.
9/10 Stars
All or Nothing: Blaine meets delightful lesbians. Kurt and Blaine go on a double date with the delightful lesbians. Blaine buys a ring.
6/10 Stars
Season 5
Love, Love, Love: KURT AND BLAINE GET BACK TOGETHER AND BLAINE PROPOSES AND EVERYTHING IS WONDERFUL!
100/10 Stars
Tina in the Sky with Diamonds: Blaine sings a Beatles song at a piano. Kurt sings a Beatles song on top of a piano.
4/10 Stars
The Quarterback: Finn dies. Everyone is sad.
10/10 Stars
A Katy or a Gaga: Blaine is a Katy trying to be a Gaga. Kurt is a Gaga feeling intimidated by another Gaga.
8/10 Stars
The End of Twerk: Blaine shakes his booty. Kurt gets a tattoo and a tongue ring. They have Skype sex.
9/10 Stars
Movin’ Out: Blaine doesn’t want to go to NYADA. Kurt says come to NYADA. Blaine goes to NYADA.
8/10 Stars
Puppet Master: Blaine plays with puppets. Kurt doesn’t want to be a puppet.
10/10 Stars
Previously Unaired Christmas: This episode does not exist.
Invisible Stars
Frenemies: Kurt finally makes a friend. Blaine becomes valedictorian.
7/10 Stars
Trio: Blaine hangs out with Sam and Tina, and does not fondle their boobs. Kurt starts his second cover band.
8/10 Stars
City of Angels: Blaine is the only one who reads the show choir blogs. Kurt is distraught about the end of a glee club he hasn’t been in in two years. Wait. It’s still one at this point.
6/10 Stars
100: Kurt sings Defying Gravity again, and this time hits the note. Blaine implies to April that he and Kurt have already engaged in sodomy.
7/10 Stars
New Directions: Tina fantasizes about Kurt and Blaine making out. Kurt and Blaine reveal that they are not adopting a Russian baby. Quinn offers her egg instead. And after 84,000 years, Blaine finally gets to graduate.
10/10 Stars
New New York: Kurt and Blaine get to be all grown up and stuff. They fight, they make up, and they even are allowed to talk about having sex. Everything is perfect even if it’s not.
10/10 Stars
Bash: Kurt is Kurt from All the Other Ghosts. Blaine is sad.
10/10 Stars
Tested: Blaine falls in love with cronuts. Kurt is jealous. Kurt is badass. Blaine is jealous. They both will always love each other. Swords.
10/10 Stars
Opening Night: Kurt and Blaine love everyone at the bar. Sue has sex on their bed.
8/10 Stars
The Back Up Plan: An old lady tells Blaine he’ll be a star if he drops Kurt. SHE’S A WITCH BLAINE STOP!!
10/10 Stars
Old Dogs, New Tricks: Kurt mysteriously develops a love for old people, dogs, and fairy tales. Blaine is mysteriously sidelined.
10/10 Stars
The Untitled Rachel Berry Project: Blaine and Brittany get a more revealing sex scene with each other in someone’s fantasy than they do with Kurt and Santana. Kurt and Blaine decided to trust and love each other through everything, which totally sets up season 6.
10/10 Stars
Season 6
Loser Like Me: WHAT DO YOU MEAN THEY BROKE UP AGAIN THIS IS SO STUPID!! (Actually, it’s very good. Except the Karofsky part.)
10/10 Stars
Homecoming: Kurt and Blaine decide to be teachers.
8/10 Stars
Jagged Little Tapestry: Kurt pines over Blaine. The show makes him a music video.
9/10 Stars
The Hurt Locker 1: Sue has a shrine to Klaine that in no way resembles the audience. Kurt likes old people so much, he tries to date one. Blaine has a bear in his apartment.
9/10 Stars
The Hurt Locker 2: Kurt and Blaine are locked in an elevator with a bathroom.
10/10 Stars
What the World Needs Now: Blaine sings for Brittany and Santana. Kurt takes joy that the Karofsky plot line is almost over.
2/10 Stars
Transitioning: Kurt manipulates fate. Blaine kisses him because their lips are magnetically pulled towards each other.
8/10 Stars
A Wedding: Kurt and Blaine decide being broken up is stupid and get married instead.
10.5/10
Child Star: Kurt and Blaine are on their honeymoon. Unfortunately, we don’t get to see it.
0/10 Stars
The Rise and Fall of Sue Sylvester: Kurt and Blaine learn that the writers like Jane Lynch better than them.
3/10 Stars
We Built This Glee Club: A piano blows up. Blaine thinks it’s pretty.
4/10 Stars
2009: Pilot redo. Kurt is a main character this time. Kurt and Blaine don’t cross paths.
10/10 Stars
Dreams Come True: Kurt and Blaine go off to be a success on Broadway and have a baby girl and live happily ever after just like every fluffy fanfic ever.
10/10 Stars
The End
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SO’S GLEE EPISODE RANKING: NO. 64
I started a Full Glee Episode Ranking between seasons 5 and 6 over two years ago now (!!!). My opinions have changed somewhat since then (retrospect is an interesting thing), and I need to include the thirteen season six episodes I neglected in my original list. With the two year anniversary of the show being over a few months away, I thought I’d count down to by posting an episode every day. I’ll tag using: glee episode rankings
Here we go…
64. Heart (3x13)
Written by: Allison Adler
Directed by: Brad Falchuk
This is another one of those episodes that has really grown on me over the years. It’s season 3, so there are about a hundred little story lines jammed in this one, so none of them really get much space, but at the same time, it’s a rare moment where all the story lines are short enough (or tiny pieces of other stories) that they don’t need that much space. Plus, it’s Valentine’s Day, and thematically the love fest works pretty well. All the couples get a little moment, and that’s nice.
So -- we have the introduction to Joe Hart and the God Squad. Joe’s not my favorite character, but man he’s much more enjoyable than Rory. He at least has some personality. Meanwhile, we meet Rachel’s parents, who are an absolute delight. Finchel tries living together, which is of course fail, but they’re actually endearing for a half second. Brittany and Santana get to be physical for the first time - which good for them. Mercedes feels torn between Sam and Shane. Rory and Artie fight over Sugar, which is slightly more entertaining that it might otherwise sound. And Kurt is stalked by an oversized gorilla. Oy. At least Blaine is back from being a pirate.
High Points:
Kurt moping because his boyfriend isn’t around, then clinging to the possibility that his secret admirer is actually Blaine. He’s so adorable in this episode.
Rachel’s dads are hilarious.
The handling of the God Squad.
TEEN LESBIANS
Santana calling Finchel out on their grossness.
Mercedes having to boys after her -- and the fact that she ultimately chooses herself until she can figure things out.
The lube joke.
No Will and Emma drama. Virtually no Will at all.
Blaine as a pirate!
Low Points:
Puck continues to be gross, but he’s barely in the episode.
Karofsky in a gorilla suit. Ug. And I mean, I realize this is all setting up the next episode, but man is there a lot of uncomfortableness in that he’s been following around Kurt for a week.
Figgins for being an asshat -- though it was intentional, as he was representing the censorship.
Okay, Rory and Artie are a little boring, but also not a big plot line.
Music:
LOVE: Tike is the most neglected couple of this episode, but they get this lovely number, and no one breaks down crying in the middle of it!
Let Me Love You: Artie’s songs are usually standard and solid. This one isn’t any different.
Stereo Hearts: The best thing about this is that it’s Finchel’s love song, and neither of them are singing. Bless. The God Squad serenades Rachel, and they do pretty well with it. Not a huge fan of the rap portion, but the tune is catchy.
Home: Why are Rory’s songs so utterly depressing? I mean, I give the kid credit, he can sing pretty well, and does well with this Michael Buble cover. But man, it’s sad.
I Will Always Love You: Good god, this is Mercedes channeling Whitney Houston and she is on fire. Glorious!
Cherish/Cherish: I’m slightly fascinated by the fact that this is from Quinn to Brittana. Quinn sounds pretty good on it, however, it’s probably my least favorite song of the bunch. And that’s just personal taste. Brittana gets their moment in the sun though!
Love Shack: It’s funny to me that all the other couples get these sweet love songs, and Klaine gets the one about banging. It cracks me up. They’re adorable goobers, and this is a hilarious and fun song. (I think the performance is more interesting than listening to the song on its own.)
Final Verdict: This is a great ensemble episode. If you’re expecting sole focus on your favorite character, you’re not going to get it. But if you’re looking for great balance among this huge, huge cast -- this one really works. And it’s cute and fun.
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