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kichimiangra · 4 years

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To celebrate Ratchet and Clank: Rift Apart... I rant about things I would have done differently with the Ratchet and Clank Movie (2016)

Ratchet and Clank fans who saw the movie give it a read and tell me what you think! This isn’t solid or well written, it is seriously just a long rant of “Then they do this! Then That!”

To be fair I am a huuuge Ratchet and Clank fan, I enjoyed the film, I know it's not good, and I'm not quite sure exactly what happened here? I don't know why they tried to do a star wars esque "Save the galaxy; I wanna be a hero!" story when the games would better be described as a "Buddy Road trip". The relationship between the titular characters is non existent because the film instead decided it was more important to cram about 3 games worth of character development into Quark instead. I like the designs for the Galactic Rangers but other than that I hate them because I am 100% sure I know why they're there and they take even more screen time that should be spent on the titular duo. This is my list of demands if I had been someone who somehow got to demand how this movie got made: -First of all, and I hate myself for saying this... *Don't Hire James Arnold Taylor, David Kaye, and Jim Ward to reprise their roles as Ratchet, Clank, and Qwark respectively.* I love them, but I theorize it's their fault that the galactic rangers are even taking up space in this film. Lookit the movie poster! It list Paul Giamatti, John Goodman, Bella Thorne, and Rosario Daweson, before James and David. Jim Ward isn't mentioned in favor of Sylvestor Stallone. The whole point, (in my opinion) the Rangers were really a thing was to have a few more major characters. John Goodman plays Grim and Sylvestor Stallone plays Von Ion. These parts are arguably smaller than Qwark or Nefarious... and I would say those two are more prominent that Clank! But they try to get some names that will put butts in seats because UNFORTUNATELY people are stupid and many WILL go see a movie just because it has an actor they like in it. -Second... throw out the script. Start over. *Buddy Road trip! * It's not hard. You can't fit every planet into the film but you can fit enough for a road trip movie! A few important ones? -Third... *CHARACTER RELATIONSHIPS AND MOTIVATIONS.* I'm gonna be a bit detailed here. First of all, NO MORE GALACTIC RANGERS PLOT! IT GOES BYE BYE! And screw Qwark let him go back to being a frgging mid point boss! This movie is about RATCHET and CLANK! And you Know what they're gonna do? SOME RATCHETING and some CLANKING! And they are going to GROW AND DEVELOP TOGETHER! ---So this: Clank gets made, gets the info on Dreks deathstar plans (But maybe we don't know that yet? Maybe we can play it Vague? Maybe we don't have Clanks whole origin story yet? That's for later...) and escapes to Veldin. This is where he meets Ratchet. Ratchet is building a ship to try and leave Veldin because it's a bupkiss nowhere desert planet! Where's he going? GLAD YOU ASKED!!! He wants to go to the Blackwater City hover board tournament on planet Rilgar in which the trophy is being handed out by his celebrity hero: Captain Qwark. Why? We don't know this just yet but Ratchet is a Lombax abandoned on Veldin. He's never even seen another Lombax, there's not a lot of them in Solana. He didn't grow up alone, but longs to find his lost family. He thinks maybe... if he wins that Tournament, which will be Broadcasted around the galaxy and get a sponsorship with Gadgetron, being the face of the Hoverboard branch of the company for like 2 years (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) , his family will see it and they can be reunited. (hahaha no...) Too bad Ratchet can't get his ship working without a robotic ignition (LEIK IN DA GAYM!) Clank crash lands and befriends Ratchet. Clank needs a Hero (HE'S HOLDING OUT FOR A HERO TILL THE END OF THE NIGHT!) to stop Drek and Ratchet knows just the guy! His idol Qwark! Who he is also going to meet! At the Hoverboard tourney! So they agree to go together, Clank being able to turn the ship on and Ratchet able to pilot it. They hop planet to planet for the first act because crap isn't going to hit the fan until they meet Qwark. So buddy road trip for a bit they help people along the way! For example Ratchet only starts with the Wrench, but when they crash land on Novalis they meet up with Cora, who is the Presidents body guard and help her save the president (LEIK IN DA GAYMS!) and is rewarded by meeting the Plumber who fixes their crashed ship. Plumber is grateful that the Prez is safe (Maybe they related?) and gifts Ratchet the Weapon ring claiming he used to work for Gadgettron inventing all sorts of doodads, but they wouldn't put some on the market so gifts them to Ratchet, warning that the Attack ring is a little glitchy so you might not get what you want from it? So basically season 1 Ben 10's Omnitrix. Just for fun. They hop to another few places with the major take away being Clank being all like "Ratchet I am super logical and freshly baby and the galaxy is more important than the Local stuff so we gotta hurry to find Qwark!" but Ratchet is like "Sorry Clank my OCD won't allow it and we got time to kill before the tournament!" The main point of this is Clank learning feels and empathy quickly from Ratchet and also gets to see Ratchet being a hero even if SpaceRat won't admit it. They eventually end up on Rilgar and Ratchet enters the tourney with his home made garbage hoverboard because we are skipping the whole Skid McMarxx thing for time sake. So Ratchet enters the hoverboard tourney, we get a cool music montage, it looks like he's gonna win! He's in first! BAM! His hoverboard craps out on him and leaves him tumbling to the pavement. Someone passes him, he desperately tries to pull himself up, he tries to run to the finishline, more people pass him, he's in last place, he stops running. He's given up. He screwed it up for both of them. Now Clank won't meet and give his message to Qwark, and Ratchet won't get the sponsorship from Gadgetron that could get his face out there for his family to find him. Clank tries to cheer him up, but can only do so much. Ratchet feels useless and defective and maybe that's why his family abandoned him? Maybe it wasn't an accident, maybe he just sucked? But Clank knows a thing or two about being defective... so he tries to comfort Ratchet, but is interrupted when someone from the tourney approaches them and says that Captain Qwark was super impressed by Ratchets boarding skills and decided he wants to meet them. Things are looking up for the duo, but like.. you and I know Drekk told Qwark to keep an eye out fro a Lombax that's been ruining his plans and if he get's his hands on him, kill him and take Clank (LEIK STARWARS... Wait...?). Qwark blows up Ratchets ass this whole being a hero thing so Ratchet can be known throughout the galaxy and Ratchets like "BALLER! YEAH! Sign me up!" and then he betrays them, I'm foggy on this part I ain't a screen writer! BUT ANYWAY Qwark can't just be blowing up his potential fans... that looks bad, so he plays along the whole "Oh yes I am Hero Qwark What is it you need from me?" Clank then reveals his origin story of being a warbot in Drekks factory and what Drekks plans are. This is confirmation enough and Qwark betrays the duo rips something out of Clank, leaving him robot-unconscious. Ratchet defends Clank from Qwarks betrayal, Is it the Blargian Snagglebeast? I don't know who cares? And when he's done uses a leftover part from his broken hoverboard to fix Clank. They have a minor Buddy fight. Not a long one. We don't have time for a long one we're getting close to the end here! Maybe Ratchets mad that Clank is one of Drekks warbots? Was this a trap? Clank then goes further into his backstory explaining he's a defect. He had one purpose: to find someone to stop Drekk and give him that thingy. But Qwark made off with it. Maybe it was a virus to kill switch the deplanetizer? Who cares it was for Obiwan Kenobi and Qwark stole it. Now Clank has no purpose. Ratchet though tells Clank that people aren't made with purposes, they find purposes and make purposes and Clank almost feels better about that level of freedom. Ratchet and Clank bond over being full of suck and how there are no real heroes out there to stop Drekk and Clank suddenly realizes that all of the traits that make a hero are right there in Ratchet! All this movie he's watched Ratchet do hero shit and help others even if it's in a "Goddammit we're gonna miss the tournament but I have to save the orphans goddammit!" way. They both decide that they need to be the heroes they want to see and agree to go stop Drekk themselves.They go after Drekk and have a final confrontation with Qwark and Clank retrieves his Macguffin. Then they go stop Drekk. Clank has learned empathy and humanity, and Ratchet has got a found family in Clank.

#ratchet and clank

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wineanddinosaur · 4 years

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The 10 Best Drinks Movies of All Time (and What to Sip While Watching)

Relaxing with a great drink in your hand and an excellent movie cued up on your screen is one of life’s great, simple pleasures. It’s also something many of us have more time to do now than ever before.

Perhaps it’s no coincidence that many of the best movies of all time include a heavy focus on imbibing, from ongoing thematic references to entire booze-soaked plots: The night of excess and its regrettable decisions; the plot hatched in the bar’s back booth; the frat house party; the alcohol-fortified hero.

If discovering the perfect match between a glass of wine and a bite of cheese amplifies the pleasure of both, then why not do the same by finding the just-right drinks to pair with the best drinks movies?

Of course, even if you’re stuck Netflix-and-chilling by yourself, there are now ways to get friends in on the fun virtually. For instance, with Netflix Party, you can synchronize playback through Google Chrome while participating in a group chat through the same interface.

From iconic films to debauched comedies, here’s what to watch — and what to drink while you do.

10. The 007 James Bond Franchise

Few movie characters are as inclined to imbibe as James Bond. Author Ian Fleming both giveth and taketh away, though. While he’s responsible for the creation of the Vesper, his words haven’t always been to the betterment of booze: Some say that “shaken not stirred” stunted the advancement of cocktails for decades. (Hate-mail disclaimer: Martinis are a personal matter, so make them as you please).

As you’re working your way through the anthology and arrive at “GoldenEye,” switch up your drink to the cocktail of the same name. It’s the house cocktail at the GoldenEye Resort in Jamaica, and was concocted by Chris Blackwell, Rock & Roll Hall of Famer, creator of Blackwell Rum, and owner of the estate since the mid- 1970s.

According to Blackwell, the drink, which fittingly is a visual match for its name, was a creation of convenience. “I simply put equal amounts of pineapple juice and rum in the cocktail shaker and took a sip,” he says. “It was too sweet, so I added some fresh-squeezed lime to taste. And there it was.”

It’s a welcome drink for his guests, and a new drink for you to sip on while watching Brosnan-era Bond. Blackwell is even collaborating on a 007 Limited Edition of his rum, which will be released this fall in conjunction with the franchise’s 25th effort, “No Time To Die.”

9. Wine Country

The newest edition to the list of best drinks movies is 2019’s “Wine Country.” Directed by Amy Poehler, and starring a six-strong cast of female comedic heavyweights, the movie is centered on a 50th birthday weekend getaway in Napa Valley.

When you can’t head out for a weekend of in-person wine tasting, bring the wine into your living room. A number of Napa Valley wineries are currently offering virtual tastings. The list includes AXR Winery, B Cellars, Clos du Val, Round Pond Estate, and St. Supéry Estate Vineyards & Winery.

Sign up for one, do the tasting, then start the movie and polish off all those bottles you just opened. Or pair with any Napa Valley wine to feel the “Wine Country” vibe.

8. Cocktail

“Cocktail” stands tall 32 years later as the zenith of bad 1980s cocktail culture. Neon lights, flair bartending, and cringeworthy shot names — it’s all there, now with some measure of nostalgic appeal (who doesn’t want to sidle up to a beachfront bar these days?).

Of course, there’s no shortage of options for what you should be imbibing while watching. One needs only to pull up the “The Last Barman Poet” scene, in which Tom Cruise mentions a dozen different concoctions: “The Sex on the Beach, the Schnapps made from peach, the Velvet Hammer, the Alabama Slammer. I make things with juice and froth. The Pink Squirrel, the 3-Toed Sloth. I make drinks so sweet and snazzy. The Iced Tea, the Kamikaze, the Orgasm, the Death Spasm, the Singapore Sling, the Ding-a-ling.”

Thankfully, if you can’t quite settle on any of the above, Cruise’s character has mercy on us at the end of his recital: “America you’re just devoted to every flavor I got. But if you want to get loaded, why don’t you just order a shot?”

7. The Frat Party: Animal House and Old School

“Old School” and “Animal House” together represent the classic new and, well, old school takes on the frat movie. You’re probably never going to agree with your dad on which is better, either. It’s a generational preference whether you lean into the John Belushi-powered 1978 film, or the 2003 flick with Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn, and Luke Wilson.

What everyone can agree on is that you’re drinking beer for this movie-drinks pairing; there’s no way around that. And not a 4-pack of your favorite triple dry-hopped, semi-naturally fermented, seasonal farmhouse hazy IPA, either. This calls for a case of your cheap, collegiate, macro beer standby. Maybe it’s Schlitz, maybe it’s PBR. You do you.

6. The Hangover (Three-Part Series)

We’ve all been there. A night gets a little out of hand. Memories are foggy. Everything hurts. Of course, this doesn’t usually involve tigers, Mike Tyson, potential kidnappings, and hastily arranged marriages. The antics only continue in later films, from Tyson-style face tattoos in Thailand to hasty trips to Tijuana. That’s what makes “The Hangover” great: It’s hilarious and relatable while still letting you off the hook, in an “at least my friends and I aren’t that bad” kind of way.

The truth is, you’re most likely watching this while nursing your own hangover. So mix up a Bloody Mary or something low-ABV with fresh juice to bring yourself back up to speed.

5. Swingers

“Swingers” sports the classic scene of Jon Favreau ordering a Scotch, “A Scotch on the rocks, please. Any Scotch will do, as long as it’s not a blend, of course. A single malt. Glenlivet, Glenfiddich perhaps. Maybe a Glengow… any Glen.”

The movie is also a favorite of the drinks industry today. “I love the movie ‘Swingers,'” says Elayne Duff, a consultant and strategist with Duff On The Rocks. For her, the 1996 movie brings back memories of the era. “We had a very cool version of this secret bar with a swing band [in the Lower East Side of New York]. I went there almost every Saturday night and drank Cosmopolitans; it was the ’90s, after all. This movie was money, as they like to say, so many great lines and Vince Vaughn was at his best.”

“Maybe I’ve been incepted by all the movie posters I’ve seen with Vince Vaughn, Martini in hand, or maybe it’s the way I can relate to both Mike and Trent at different times in my life, but I don’t think I’ve ever watched that movie without some form of drink in hand,” says Trevor Frye, the president of Wash Line LLC, who has also been running the B.A.R.E. SolidariT-shirt fundraising project, selling shirts and stickers to provide donations to hospitality professionals.

So drink a Cosmo, a Martini, any Glen you can find, or, in Frye’s case, just the whiskey of your choice. “I’d sip on a whiskey with some bite to it. E.H. Taylor Barrel Proof and Noah’s Mill are currently open on my desk, and either would do just fine,” Frye says. “And water; like a deli quart’s worth of water.”

4. Casablanca

If you asked any film buff to name the most famous movies, “Casablanca” would likely be on the list. This Humphrey Bogart and Ingrid Bergman vehicle happened to be set, predominantly, in a nightclub and casino, Rick’s Café Américain. (Word to wise: Don’t bother if you and when you find yourself in Morocco; the actual establishment may fall short of what you’ve envisioned).

There’s plenty of drinking in the movie, as you’d expect, and much of it is centered around Champagne. You’ll want to drink some bubbles yourself while watching, ideally out of a coupe glass to match the stylish, classic vibes. Intersperse that with the occasional French 75 or Champagne Cocktail, both of which are mentioned, to keep the mood going all night long.

3. Lost in Translation

What does Bill Murray whisper to Scarlett Johansson in the final scene of “Lost in Translation”? We may never know. What we do know is the line he says over and over again while filming his character’s television commercial, “For relaxing times, make it Suntory time.”

Unless you’re sitting on a secret cache of Yamazaki 18 year-old or Hakushu 18 year-old — in which case, we’ll be right over — a Highball is the way to go here, deploying a blended whisky like Suntory Toki and your favorite high-carbonation soda water.

2. Sideways

We all remember Paul Giamatti’s infamous quote: “I am NOT drinking any f*cking Merlot!” So devastating was the impact, that a decade and a half after the release of “Sideways,” California Merlot is only recently rebounding in the mind of consumers.

When you watch, consider doing the opposite of Giamatti and finding an excellent bottle of Merlot to accompany the film. There’s no shortage of serious, truly delicious Merlots coming out of California right now.

1. The Big Lebowski

The Dude and a White Russian. Name a more iconic duo; we’ll wait. The comedy classic from the Coen brothers is the perfect excuse to wear your pajamas all day long while steadfastly maintaining a drink in one hand.

The cocktail is easy to make, too: Just pour two ounces vodka and one ounce coffee liqueur over ice in a rocks glass. Top with an ounce of heavy cream. A flick of your wrist is the only stirring you really need. Up for an epic drinking-game challenge? Drink not only when The Dude drinks, but when the word “dude,” is spoken, which is apparently 160 times. Good luck!

The article The 10 Best Drinks Movies of All Time (and What to Sip While Watching) appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-drinks-movies/

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isaiahrippinus · 4 years

Text

The 10 Best Drinks Movies of All Time (and What to Sip While Watching)

From iconic films to debauched comedies, here’s what to watch — and what to drink while you do.

10. The 007 James Bond Franchise

9. Wine Country

Sign up for one, do the tasting, then start the movie and polish off all those bottles you just opened. Or pair with any Napa Valley wine to feel the “Wine Country” vibe.

8. Cocktail

7. The Frat Party: Animal House and Old School

6. The Hangover (Three-Part Series)

The truth is, you’re most likely watching this while nursing your own hangover. So mix up a Bloody Mary or something low-ABV with fresh juice to bring yourself back up to speed.

5. Swingers

The movie is also a favorite of the drinks industry today. “I love the movie ‘Swingers,‘” says Elayne Duff, a consultant and strategist with Duff On The Rocks. For her, the 1996 movie brings back memories of the era. “We had a very cool version of this secret bar with a swing band [in the Lower East Side of New York]. I went there almost every Saturday night and drank Cosmopolitans; it was the ’90s, after all. This movie was money, as they like to say, so many great lines and Vince Vaughn was at his best.”

4. Casablanca

3. Lost in Translation

2. Sideways

1. The Big Lebowski

The article The 10 Best Drinks Movies of All Time (and What to Sip While Watching) appeared first on VinePair.

source https://vinepair.com/articles/10-best-drinks-movies/ source https://vinology1.tumblr.com/post/618095375287517184

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