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iamnot-theboynextdoor · 8 months

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OFMD EP3 REACTION

we open with zheng's crew raiding a ship

"who's the captain" "he calls himself the soul reaper" "i'm not calling him that" zheng is great

WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SUICIDE STUFF

"you've bested me" camera pans to stede and olu

"culturally, this must be very hard for you... but your last act on this planet WILL be surrendering to a woman" ZHENG IS GREAT. and the Very Confused expression on bartholemew's face like

stede's job is to ferry the champagne dslghskjgs

zheng chilling out and having a nice charcuterie board with the guy she's raiding... have i mentioned that she's the best because she's the best

zheng practically twirling her hair going "omg noooo forget it it's just a crazy idea aha....." she's a fucking genius. you work for her now, idiot

"that's what i always say! olu, don't i say that?" "no" olu's not havin it

zheng "this is a 'join me or die' situation" zheng's not havin it

STEDE PUT DOWN THE ABACUS THERE HAVE BEEN ENOUGH ABACUS CASUALTIES

oh fuck first mate aunty's seen the revenge

stede's running out the room

ooh the revenge is fucked. anyone who isn't a named character is probably dead

STEDE HURLS HIMSELF FUCKING OVERBOARD WITHOUT HESITATION GOOD LORD

he has a one track mind and all the stations are labeled "ed <3"

he fucking bellyflopped into the ocean i am begging him to grow a single brain cell

it plays the music that ed and stede kissed to... and then stede gets onboard the ruined ship with nobody there and it goes silent... i am eating my desk

there's blood streaks all over the walls, stede's portrait has daggers in it

the crew are eating a seagull

fucking scene from a horror movie right there

IT IS JUST THE FIVE OF THEM SGSKJGHSFJG

"where's ed?" "there's no good way to say this, stede, but we-" "OH IS THIS STEDE" archie i love you but please

"just thought you'd be taller, y'know, muscly, charismatic-" "why are you saying that" "...this is good soup" ARCHIE BABYGIRL

"bonnet! good to see you" izzy positively DRIPPING with stank. if we thought lucius hated stede, we ain't seen nothing yet

"frenchie, where is ed?" oh god he knows frenchie's so shit at lying "...he retired" to where, Pirate Heaven? well. Pirate Hell considering what he's been doing

everyone nodding at that, even izzy. i can't believe izzy wants to fucking spare stede's feelings

"you just wanna keep the soft one happy" LET ZHENG HAVE A GUYWIFE!!!

izzy saying HE stabbed stede's portrait and being remarkably unconvincing

and here we go with ed in purgatory!

edward teach, died on a beach

i know who this is i've seen the spoilers it's a vision of hornigold. the question is how much am i going to hate him

he's got a pet pig named ruthie so unfortunately that is a point in his favour. god damn it. let me hate someone

hornigold's got this ghostly reverb on his voice and i think he's wearing a sail as a coat? it looks cool

HE LOOKS LIKE IF MY GRANDPA WAS EVIL

"open up for the cargo ship" ...i already know people are gonna be weirdly horny about hornigold. i don't like it.

"LAST TIME I SAW YOU YOU SAID YOU WERE GONNA FLAY MY SKIN AND FEED IT BACK TO ME" "yeah alright alright that was messed up i'm sorry. i was in a bad place back then... too much on the rhino horn" oh god ed's become him. is there generational trauma but for pirates. captaining trauma?

aunty please don't scare fang he is a delicate flower and he has been through enough

JIM AND OLU!!!!

"eu-caly-ptus-es. eu-ca-lump-tus" i'm never gonna say eucalyptus the same way again thank u olu

(shoulder bump) "i missed you" AWWWW "i kissed someone" OH FUCK RIGHT AWAY

they are still so fucking cute!!!!! zheng/olu/jim/archie endgame!!!

"i saw her boobs" "oh ok" "both of them" "ok that's enough" SLKFHSDGKJSHKG

stede's back on the ruined revenge STOP PLAYING THE KISS MUSIC I'M GOING INSANE

montage of stede retrieving all of ed's daggers

aaaaand izzy's there

"we just redecorated" "i don't mind actually i think the knives really help bring the place together" stede's priorities are 1) ed 2) being a bitch to izzy

"he was either gonna watch the world burn or die trying, so which is it?" STEDE KNOWS

"he was a wild dog and we dealt with him like one!" "you sent him to doggie heaven." GODDDDDD

"no. i could never do that. we deserted him on a beach, left nature to do the rest, more than he would've done for us" but it's a dream, so izzy is a lying liar who lies. to protect STEDE

"you and me did this to him, and we cannot let this crew suffer any more for our mistakes" if you told me last week that this line would come up in a conversation between stede and izzy, i would not fucking believe you when you told me who said it

"bet you're wondering how i ended up here" "nope" ed's just standing there like a five year old following their parent around

"you're worried you're insane" "yeah a little bit" YEAH SO AM I ED

SOUP AGAIN

SOUP HEALS EVERYTHING

"ed can be quite troubled" "girl, how ARE you" thank you zheng. how else do you respond to the #1 ed apologist

pirates do not know how to handle break-ups without having a little massacre as a treat huh

aunty has found Something!

"i thought about opening an inn" BLACKBEARD'S BAR AND GRILL AND FISHING EQUIPMENT AND GIFT SHOP ENDGAME PLEASE

and now ed and hornigold are play-acting it out

JEFF'S INN BY THE SEA okay WHY is ed's fake name always jeff. is that a tragic backstory too lmao

ed's little leaf for a pin

he really is just a little kid playing with his dadptain who really does not want to be playing with a five year old

"why are you being a dick" "i'm not being a dick, you're gonna have to deal with customers like that" this is unfortunately true

THAT POST ABOUT STEDE BEING GOOD AT FRONT OF HOUSE AND ED BEING GOOD AT BACK OF HOUSE. ENDGAME ENDGAME ENDGAME

"grown man covered in tattoos? with daddy issues?" hornigold woke up and chose violence

"i never told anyone about that" "but you did. and he left you" hornigold isn't just hornigold or a stand-in for ed's dad. he's all of ed's inner demons. welcome to purgatory bay bee

"and it all boils down to this: you're afraid you're unlovable" aaaaaaaaaand ed has snapped hornigold's neck. but he's not real so he's fine probably

yeah he sat up

"you can't kill me, eddie" montage of ed killing him over and over

man if eddie was hornigold's nickname for ed, izzy calling him eddie has a whole new context

OH FUCK AUNTY FOUND ED'S BODY IN THE HOLD

stede's face

frenchie leaning his head against izzy in the brig....

"go on, bonnet, give me your worst" and stede can't even say anything. and izzy's crying. and i'm crying.

pirate purgatory bay bee

is this a "ed can go back, but only if he chooses to" thing? with ED'S suicidal ideation? i know he does but let's see how they resolve it

"you're talking about purgatory" "no, what's that?" hornigold calling me out personally???

"what do you like about life?" "okay, warmth. good food. intercourse. orgasms." IS THIS FORESHADOWING HMMMMMM

cons: "i don't think anyone's waiting for me" i am rubbing my hands together babyboy you don't know how wrong you are

"pick up my fuckin' staff" dream hornigold is committed to being a wizard

olu trying to convince zheng not to execute izzy and co

BOAT-MANCE

"what is the status of that is it ongoing or?"

zheng: pro for killing jim is you will be single

"we're best friends. family." honestly no matter what form olu and jim's relationship takes i love them

"how would this execution affect-" (caresses olu's chest with her sword) "-us?" AAAAAAAAAAAA

honestly olu if you don't get with zheng. jim might. if they don't get executed

"what do you mean us?" "i was trying to seduce you" "oh" "was that not clear?" "no" i love how even the hyper-competent pirate queen is allowed to be a lil awkward

AND SHE'S KISSING OLU WELL WELL WELL

"towel service! ...it's chamomile!" it's CHLOROFORM BAY BEE

stede's organising a jailbreak!

"i never said [i had perfect aim]" "you said it today" lucius is not havin it

"the entire escape relies on this" this is the type of action movie hero shit that s1 pete would eat up. s2 pete, however, has at least a fraction of a brain cell and doesn't want to risk it. and you know what that is? growth.

FUCK YEAH ARCHIE

lucius ziplining across while going "ohgodohgodohgodohgod" big mood

"where's olu?" "go find him!" uh oh and jim's gonna walk in on him and zheng. they'd better join in or i'm rioting

HE'S SITTING ON HER DESK SWINGING HIS LITTLE FEETIES AS SHE KISSES HIM

"did you know about this?!" oh no she's gonna think he was playing her this whole time!!!

zheng runs out and jim runs in and olu is torn BUT HE TAKES JIM'S HAND

"set the sail!" stede there is barely half of a fucking sail

olu awkwardly waving at zheng and she's heartbroken oh god. she wasn't kidding when she said the timing was bad. now they've made a very dangerous enemy

izzy tries to THANK stede and stede just has a thousand yard, devastated stare and walks away

"you already made your choice" and ed suddenly has a very large rock tied to him oh god oh fuck

"i'm not me. i'm you. you brought me here." "why would i do that" gee i don't know ed maybe because you like torturing yourself

"so if you hate me and i'm you..." "...i hate myself" "bullseye! finally!" i'd say i feel sorry for ed but he did very much do all that shit

"...i'm not lovable" OKAY I AM NOT IMMUNE TO FEELING SORRY FOR ED

ed still needs someone else to pull the metaphorical trigger

only when stede goes down to the hold by himself does he allow himself to mourn

and there's ed in the ocean RUBBING MY HANDS TOGETHER

I'M CRYING

stede pulls the cover off ed's face and in the dream ed suddenly starts to struggle for air!!!!!

HIS FINGER'S TWITCHING

stede's crying i'm crying

god it's like a "come here" gesture i'm going insane and also crying

"I'M HERE!" AND THE ROPE FALLS OFF ED'S WAIST AND I HAVE TO PAUSE AND SOB LOUDLY!!!!!!

THE LITTLE MERSTEDE!!!!!!!

AND ED WAKES UP!!!!!!!

end credits sequence is just the sun shining through the water. i really thought it was gonna be ed sitting up and headbutting stede in the face

#our flag means death #ofmd #i'm ugly crying

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motleyfuckingcruee · 4 years

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Hey Jealousy (Vince Neil x reader)

Cool ! 😂😂 ok so this is the plot I hope you'll like it

You're Vince's girlfriend and you go with him on tour and Guns N Roses are the first part of their show. On the tour, Axl and you became closer which actually turned Vince jealous. Axl and him fought on the tour because of you and once you and Vince came home, you fight and try desperately to explain that you're in love with him and not with Axl. He gets jealous and says how much he loves you and will die if you love someone else. You kiss him and show him how much you love him

Requested by @antheasnow (i'm so sorry it took me so long to write this!)

COMMENT IF YOU WANT TO BE ON A TAGLIST! OR GO TO MY BIO TO ADD YOURSELF TO ONE!

SONG THE TITLE IS BASED OFF OF:

Hey Jealousy

*GIF IS NOT MINE*

///

You smile as you watch your boyfriend run and jump all over the stage. He’s certainly got a lot of energy tonight. You hold your breath as Vince seems to almost trip over a chord for one of the amps, but he plays it off cool. You giggle to yourself. You’ve been with Vince for about a year now. You two are still inseparable.

“Hey (Y/N)!” You hear a cheery voice yell. You turn to the backstage area to see Steven, the drummer of Guns N’ Roses, sitting on one of the couches. “Come and join the fun! He’ll be off in a bit!”

You’re hesitant to leave your place. You know that Vince will have a cow if he can’t see you from the stage. He’s very protective and freaks when you leave his sight for even a moment. Once you went to the bathroom without telling him and he was screaming and yelling at everyone. It’s like he thought you were kidnapped or something. You decide to go join Guns, mostly because you’ve seen Mötley Crüe perform the same set so many times. You needed a change of pace. You walk over to the nearest couch, sitting down with a smile on your face. It just so happened that you sat next to Axl Rose.

Vince definitely was going to have hissy fit now. You and Axl grew rather close over the few months they’ve been on tour with the Crüe. You got tired of being by yourself when Vince would run off to party with Tommy and Nikki, so you made friends with Guns. They were rather quiet with it being their first tour and all. You don’t think they know how to act. Instead of going off to the nearest strip club or party, they stayed at the hotel in their little group. You and Axl just immediately clicked. Vince wasn’t happy about that. One day, Axl just said ‘Hi’ to you and Vince about beat him to a pulp!

You love Vince with all your heart, but his jealousy is getting out of hand.

“Hey, darlin’,” Axl greets you happily.

You smile at him. “Hey, Ax.” You look around to see what the other boys are doing. Your smile fades as a look of disgust covers your face. Steven, Duff, Slash, and Izzy are all snorting blow without any thought. Lots of it too. “Ugh,” You groan. You’d seen enough of this with the Crüe and it hurt to see your new friends to be doing it as well. Your eyes land back on Axl who’s smirking at you.

“You don’t like drugs, do you?” Axl asks, taking a drag from his cigarette.

You shake your head, “Not at all. I hate it. It hurts me to see you guys kill yourselves on purpose.”

“That’s an interesting way to put it,” Axl says thoughtfully. “It must be the ‘rockstar’ way.”

You shrug, frowning. “I guess, but I hate it. Once I tried to get Vince to get clean and he hated me for a good month.”

“How could he hate someone as beautiful as you?”

You blush, looking down at your lap. It’s no secret that Axl is very attractive. What with his sexy singing voice, gorgeous red hair, and pretty green eyes, how could a girl ever refuse him? The only downside to him is his temper.

You’d date him in another world. But in this one, Vince held your heart.

In a lot of ways, him and Vince are a lot alike. They both have tempers, really pretty hair and eyes, and are both the lead singers of their bands.

But you love Vince. You have since you met him three years ago.

“I think he was just really mad,” You respond, tucking a piece of hair behind your ear. “He got over it and was wanting to be around me again.”

“You know,” Axl says, leaning in really close. “If you were with me you wouldn’t have to worry about that.”

You smile kindly at him. “I love Vince. Nothing will change that. Axl, you’re a great guy and everything but-.”

Within a second, Axl is no longer beside me on the couch. I look behind me to see Vince beating the shit out of him.

“Oh God!” You yell, getting up. “Vinny, please stop! I’m begging you, stop!”

I try to go and pull Vince off of Axl, but a pair of strong arms hold me back. I look to see Nikki who has a smile on his face. No doubt he’s enjoying the fight. It’s been a while since there’s been drama on tour. And tonight’s the last night of the entire tour.

“Nikki, please let me go!” You scream over the other yelling going on. “Goddammit, let me go!”

“I’m sorry sweetheart,” Nikki says into my ear. “But, Vince told me to never let you get in the middle of one of his fights.”

You watch in horror as Axl finally gains the upper ground. Axl punches Vince multiple times and you pray to whoever is above that you don’t hear a crunch. Vince would be even more pissed if Axl broke his nose. Vince manages to get back on top, punching Axl in the jaw multiple times. Finally Tommy and Mick are able to get a good hold on Vince. They pull him off of a beaten down Axl Rose. Vince doesn’t seem to have many injuries. Only a busted lip and black eye.

“Alright,” Doc says, not looking surprised at what just took place. “I think it’s time for all of us to head home.”

Everyone nods in agreement. Thank God you’re already in Los Angeles. A plane ride home with a pissed Vince would be agonizing. A drive home is torture enough.

You collect Vince and go outside to hail a taxi. The way home was agonizingly silent. The cab driver kept trying to make conversation, but Vince would snap at him. He seemed like a decent enough guy. We arrive home, neither you speaking a word as Vince unlocked the house to let you both inside.

You go up and take a shower, deciding that Vince just wanted some time alone. You can’t believe that Vince lost his shit like he did. Well, actually, never mind that thought. You can completely believe that he lost his shit. You hope that Axl was okay. Vince got multiple good hits on him.

Once you finish your shower and got dressed, you head down to the living room. You find Vince sitting on the couch with only the lamp on. Normally, he’d already have the television on. You sit down next to him, not sure what to say.

“Why the fuck would you even talk to him!” Vince snaps, his gaze on you.

You hate how much anger is in his eyes. You really didn’t mean any harm. You just wanted friends. “Because he’s my friend,” You answer quietly.

“He only wants to get into your fucking pants! God, you can be so fucking stupid sometimes. I bet you’ve already had sex with him, haven’t you!” Vince yells.

You flinch. “No. Why would you think that?”

“Well you two are just so fucking close! I wouldn’t be surprised!”

You sigh. “I just wanted people to hang out with while you were out doing God knows what with Nikki and Tommy.”

“Then you should’ve fucking went to Mick!”

“He was with Emi.”

“So? You could’ve kicked that bitch out! No one gives a shit about her!”

You frown. “If that’s how you talk about women, I’d hate to hear what you say about me.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

You glare at him. “You obviously hate me at this point, Vince! Ever since I tried to help you get clean, you’ve hated me! I’ve done everything I fucking could to make you happy and yet you still pull this shit with me! Why don’t you just ask me to fucking leave already? That’s obviously what you want!”

Vince is speechless, his eyes wide. After a few moments, he recovers. “I don’t want you to leave.”

“Then why do you treat me like you do? You act like an overprotective boyfriend in front of everyone, but as soon as we’re alone you blame it all on me,” You say. You feel a few tears fall down your cheeks.

“Oh, babygirl,” Vince says, scooting over to where you are. He envelopes you in a hug. You cry into his chest, feeling helpless. “I don’t want you to leave. I’d be lost without you. I’ve just been on edge lately. I promise I’ll be better, okay?” He pulls back to look into your eyes. He wipes some tears off of your cheeks. He smiles gently. “I love you.”

You smile, the tears still falling. “I love you too,” You choke out.

“You better,” He winks. That’s the Vince you know and love. “Now, come on. I’m ready to sleep for three days.”

And with that he carried you to the bedroom.

///

TAGLIST:

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#classic rock #rocknroll #rockband #rock music #rock #motley crue #vince neil x reader #vince x reader #vince neil

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