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crazy-little-cool-cat · 5 years

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Hand in Glove - Chapter 23 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: SURPRISE, BETCHES! Nope, you’re not dreaming. This is real life. It’s not just fantasy. You’re definitely going to be caught in a landslide, though. After four months of silence, my writing juices are a-flowing and the shitstorms and clusterfucks are abundant. Hey, mystery anon. This one’s for you.

Warnings: clusterfucks. Also some mild smut. Mostly implied, nothing too graphic. Just how I like it.

Word Count: You really don’t wanna know.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17 , Chapter 18 , Chapter 19 , Chapter 20 , Chapter 21 , Chapter 22

Ben sighed as he placed his phone on the nightstand after looking at the time for what felt like the fifth time since Annie had dozed off. He sighed and blamed his inability to sleep on jetlag, excitement and not wanting to miss a millisecond of being home.

He turned on his other side, propping his head on his hand. Sprawled on her back, Annie’s half-covered figure seemed to glow as the sun dawned. As gently as he could, he brushed a few stray locks of hair from her face, running his fingers through the silky strands. Annie stirred with a smile.

“Good morning.” She purred lazily, her eyes still closed.

“Morning.”

“Did you get any sleep?” Annie’s eyes fluttered open. Turquoise staring into emerald-green.

“Not really.” Ben cupped Annie’s cheek in his hand and pressed a lingering kiss to her lips. “Christ, I’ve even missed your morning breath.”

“Wow.” Annie scoffed. “And they say romance is dead.”

“Shut up.” Ben kissed Annie again, deeper this time. “You’re not one for romance, anyways.”

“True.” Annie smirked. Ben started to roll away, out of bed, but stopped when Annie grabbed his wrist. “Where’re you going?”

“I have to take a piss, Annie.” Ben leaned down for one more kiss. “Am I allowed?” Annie pretended to mull it over in her head, tapping her lips as she pondered. “Right, then!”

“No!” Annie whined at Ben’s receding back. “Come back.”

She watched him walk away. Every muscle in his body even more defined than it was when he left. His back, his shoulders, his bum. She got out of bed and walked over to the bathroom’s closed door, waiting to hear the flush. When she did, she dropped on her knees and waited, sitting back on her heels.

Ben opened the door after washing his hands and almost stepped on her.

“What are you doing?” He raised a curious eyebrow.

“My personal trainer said I need more protein in my diet.” Annie smiled up at him, doe-eyed.

“Oh?” Ben’s jetlagged and fucked-out brain had trouble picking up on the implication. “Oh!”

“Mhm.” Annie said, getting up from her heels and wrapping her arm around Ben’s hardening cock. “It is time for breakfast, and all…”

Ben braced himself against the door-frame, arms and legs locking him into place. He looked down at Annie and bit his bottom lip. As if on cue, Annie wrapped her lips around him, making him moan.

###

“What?” Annie barked tiredly into the phone. “What?”

“First of all, it’s great to know you’ve successfully separated yourself from Ben’s dick.” Clara sassed. “Second of all, we’re having brunch. Then, and only then, we’ll release Rory back into the wilderness.”

“Do you know what time it is?!” Annie hissed, careful not to wake up Ben after he finally fell asleep.

“Yes. Do you know what your baby thinks of the time?” Clara retorted.

“Hm.”

“Exactly. So, brunch. Us, Rami and Lucy, Joe.”

“Why can’t it be lunch?” Annie grumbled. “Like normal, unpretentious people.”

“Because we’re starving.”

“So eat something!”

“Annie, Rory woke us up at the crack of dawn! And during the night!”

“We woke up at the crack of dawn and during the night too! You don’t hear us moaning about it!”

“I’m sure the screams coming from you and the screams coming from Rory were very, very different, Annabelle.”

“You were the ones who wanted to take her so desperately!”

“Because she’s too young to be exposed to whatever crazy monkey sex you and Ben are into.”

“Oh, sit on a stick.”

“That the best you could come up with?” Clara chuckled. “He really fucked you silly, eh?”

“Can you please just -” Annie paused when she felt Ben stir and press up against her back.

“Banana?”

“I’m going to have to call you back.”

“What?”

“Something just came up.”

“Tell Ben about brunch!”

“Tell him yourself!” Annie giggled and put Clara on speaker phone. “You’re on speaker.”

“Benjamin?”

“Yes?”

“Can you extract your penis from my best friend for a hot minute?”

“No.”

“Fine. This is nasty, you know. You two should be ashamed of yourselves.”

“You’re the one listening in on this.” Annie lilted. “Shame’s exclusively on you, you plum.”

“Fine.” Clara groaned. “Listen up, hornies!” Her voice shifted from the sugary sweet tone it usually carried to surprisingly assertive. “Gwilym’s flat. One o’clock. Your husband is very excited to see you, Ben. Don’t let him down.”

Clara ended the call muttering profanities as Ben and Annie started off another round.

###

“Where is my baby?” Ben basically kicked the door to Gwilym’s flat down. “Give me my Aurora or die!”

“Jesus, Ben!” Clara panted, clutching on to her chest, “can you not do that?”

“Give. Me. My. Baby.”

“She’s right here!” Lucy popped up from the floor, where she, Rory and Rami played. “Oh wow, look at you! Dashing!”

“Rami, remember, no Peek-a-boo!” Annie called, squeezing her way in around Ben. “Not everyone can handle the eyes!”

“Lovely to see you again, Annabelle.” Rami replied sweetly, then looked down at Rory. “Your mother is such a bitch sometimes, isn’t she?” he cooed.

“Just protecting my child from any future trauma, Mr. Roboto.” Annie said walking over to him. “I happen to love the eyes, anyways.”

“Aw.” Rami smiled as Annie crouched down next to him, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. “Hi lovie!”

Rory squealed at the sight of her mum.

“Where’s Gwil?” Ben asked. Rory tried to follow his voice with her eyes, but she couldn’t see him from where she was sitting. Ben tiptoed towards the sofa and lunged forward. “Boo!”

“Well, she speaks dolphin.” Rami mused after Rory’s excited screeching subsided. “How does she even do that?”

“I suspect Roger Taylor.” Ben walked around the sofa and knelt down next to his daughter. “Wanna come to me?”

Rory waved her hands and babbled. Ben smiled warmly as he picked his daughter up from the floor.

The front door flew open, revealing Joe standing with his hands on his hips, pretending to be superman.

“I have arrived!”

“Yes. The entire building can tell.” Rami rolled his eyes.

###

“This is awkward.”

Lucy, Annie, Rami and Clara exchanged nervous glances.

“I didn’t mean anything by it, you know.” Clara put her hand on top of Joe’s. “I was just making a joke.”

“The hell you were!” Gwilym snapped. “Ben and I are basically a married couple.”

“Uh, the duck you are!” Joe dropped his fork. “I’m Ben’s husband. Everybody knows. An entire production team knows!”

“You bellends are fighting over my boyfriend.” Annie chimed in. “That’s really weird.”

“Better fight over him than over you than have him fight me over you…” Joe muttered.

“What was that?” Annie challenged.

“I said that’s it’s better if Gwil and I fight over him than having to fight Ben over you.”

“What… the fuck?” Rami looked as if he was watching a tennis match before Gwilym smacked him gently on the back of his head for using foul language. “Sorry! Sorry! What the duck?”

“What, you don’t know?” Joe smiled devilishly. “Since we’ve turned this into an Italian let’s-air-out-our-dirty-laundry-over-food thing…”

“Joseph, no.” Gwilym, Ben and Annie said simultaneously.

“Joseph, please continue.” Lucy said and wiped her fingers on her napkin. “We’re all ears.”

“You’re keeping secrets from me?” Rami was baffled. “Wow. Just… wow.”

“Oh, for crying out loud, it’s not that deep, alright?” Clara groaned. “Joe and Annie got drunk and almost kissed, as Joe and Annie usually do. End of story.”

“Again?!” Rami and Lucy choired.

“Seriously, dude, what the fu-” Rami stopped himself when Annie glared at him, “-duck?!”

“I don’t know, okay? She’s all over me!” Joe raised his hands in defeat. “I can’t really blame her, can’t I?”

“What?” Annie scoffed and took a sip of her water.

“Did I stutter?”

“No, I just couldn’t hear you while you dumped garbage out of your mouth there, for a second.” Annie replied calmly.

“Really, though, you two need to stop.” Rami pointed at the two. “This is not normal.”

“He burped right in my face.”

“That’s disgusting, Joey!” Lucy cringed.

“I could practically taste it.” Annie carried on.

“Ben? Would you like to comment?”

“No, I’m good.” Ben said and took another mouthful of food into his mouth with one hand, while feeding Rory with the other. “When did you guys get a high-chair?”

“Don’t change the subject, Benny.” Lucy quipped.

“We got one second-hand because we figured Annie and Rory will be spending some time here once we’re gone on tour.”

“Oh.”

“You know what needs to happen?” Lucy wondered aloud, swirling her wine in her glass. “You two need to just kiss and get it over and done with.”

“What?!” Annie and Joe’s voices climbed in pitch.

“How much wine did you have?” Clara’s eyebrows were so high, they merged with her hairline. “What is happening?”

“Wait, hold on.” Ben froze. “That’s actually not the worst idea.”

“What?!” Annie and Joe’s voices climbed even higher.

“Look, Rory, they speak dolphin too!” Rami joked.

“Seriously,” Lucy continued, “just kiss.”

“She lost her mind.” Annie looked at Ben, wide-eyed.

“But did she really?” Ben tilted his head. “It will take the mystery out of the equation, in a way.”

“Bloody hell.” Gwilym breathed. “They’re right.”

“Huh!?”

“Look, you two clearly want to know what kissing the other will be like.” Ben stated. “So, if you two will just go ahead and bloody do it, the tension will break.”

“I’m not kissing your husband, Ben!” Annie hissed.

“Hey!” Gwilym snapped while Joe sat with a shit-eating grin on his face for being referred to as ‘Ben’s husband’ in front of his competitor.

“Why not?” Ben shrugged.

“Wait, you’re serious?” Joe leaned forward, wide-eyed. “Ben, buddy, you’ve clearly fucked yourself insane.”

“No, I mean it.” Ben leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms. “Do it. Kiss.”

“What, now?!”

“Yeah. Go on.” Ben nodded. “Do it.”

“Ben…” Annie started.

“Shut up and kiss my best mate, damn it.” Ben slammed his fist on the table. “It’s not like I’m asking you to kiss your cousin.”

“Gross.” Gwilym shuddered.

“Exactly.” Ben shrugged. “Come on. You wanted to do it a few days ago.”

“I was drunk!” Annie said, horrified. “Ben, you can’t be serious.”

“Oh, but I am.”

“Guys? Anyone? A little help here?” Annie pleaded. The table was silent. “Wow. Thanks.”

“Wait, so you only want to kiss me when you’re drunk?” Joe seemed to snap out of a daydream. “That’s just mean!”

“Are you saying you want to kiss me when you’re sober?” Annie challenged him. Ben bounced his knee as he waiting for an answer.

“About as much as I’d like to French Frankie after she licked her butthole.” Joe bit the inside of his cheek. “I mean, Annie’s great, but -”

“Say no more.” Ben said and got up.

“Where’s he going?”

“Oh God, did we upset him?”

“You blithering idiots!”

“Fucking hell.” Gwilym pinched the bridge of his nose. “Annie, if you say one word about using profanities around Rory, so help me God -”

“There you go!” Ben returned with two shot glasses and a bottle of vodka. “Drink up.”

###

“How are you two feeling?” Ben’s voice was exceptionally low as he lulled Annie and Joe into submission, “wanna kiss yet?”

With one arm wrapped around Joe and the other around Annie, Ben was all but a puppet master. Rory sat on Clara’s lap, nodding off, completely oblivious to the shitstorm around her.

“You’re pimping us out.” Joe slurred.

“You’re absolutely right, I am.” Ben started to close his arms, bringing the two together. “Dance, monkeys.”

“When did he become so evil?” Gwilym asked.

“Hollywood will do that to you.” Rami shrugged. “Shit happens.”

“Language!” Annie’s head snapped to look at Rami.

“She’s not drunk enough.” Lucy groaned. “And he’s getting too drunk.”

“Right, we need a plan, here.” Ben released the two. “Right, Annie, love, let’s have another drink?”

“Why just her?!” Joe whined.

“Oh, stop bleating!” Annie sighed.

“Because Rory wants to play with her favourite uncle, is why.” Lucy intervened.

“Oh, my Josephine.”

“That’s not her name.” Annie snapped.

“She’s not yours.” Ben added.

“Eh, shut your pie holes.” Joe stumbled over to where Clara sat and plopped down on the floor. “Hey, Josie.”

“Ben, he keeps doing that!” Annie pouted while Ben poured her another drink. “What, you’re not getting one?”

“I need to drive us home, my love.”

“I can drive you.” Gwil quipped.

“And then how will you get home?” Annie looked at her cousin as if he spoke in tongues.

“Clara will pick me up.”

“I will?” Clara asked as she stood up to put Rory down for a nap.

“Look, we’re doing this, alright?” Ben looked around the room. “Team effort.”

“They’ll end up having a three-way.” Clara warned, walking away.

###

Annie sat on Ben’s lap, staring at him with a goofy smile. Her cheeks had a drunken, rosy tint to them, her eyes glazed and shiny. While she had seven shots of vodka and Joe had five, Ben had two. He had something to prove here, and he wasn’t going to let Annie get him drunk enough to forget about it. His fears were uncalled for, however. Annie was clearly blitzed at that point and would do anything he asked her to.

The group played a long, tiresome game of truth or dare to distract Joe and Annie from what the endgame was. During said game, almost everybody chose a dare, and they had to get creative. Rami had to change a poopy diaper, Gwilym tasted baby food, Lucy taught Ben how to pout like her, making Annie take more shots or glasses of wine, and this was just the tip of the iceberg.

“Banana, your turn.” Clara smiled deviously. “Truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Hm. Not what I expected she’d say.” Clara looked like a deer in the headlights as she tried to come up with something. Anything. “Okay. Do you want more babies?”

“I want to have all the babies!” Annie declared, spreading her arms like wings. “All the cute little Ben babies.”

“We are the champions, my friends!” Ben started wailing, seemingly out of nowhere. “She is officially wasted!”

“Finally!” Lucy’s fist shot up in the air. “My God, she’s like a sailor!”

“Who’s turn is it?” Joe mumbled drunkenly.

“Yours.” Ben zeroed in on him. “Truth or dare?”

“Dare, duh.”

“I dare you to kiss Annie.” Ben said coolly. “A proper snog, please.”

Joe looked Ben in the eyes, waiting for him to say he’s just joking.

“You want me to make out with your wife?”

“Yes, please.”

“We’re not married.” Annie huffed.

“Irrelevant and even better.” Ben grinned. “Nothing to feel guilty about.”

“Hm.”

“You really want us to do this?” Joe asked.

“Yup.”

“And you won’t punch me in the face or get a divorce or -”

“We’re not married!”

“Your face is safe.” Ben reassured.

“Right. Okay.” Joe nodded to himself. He stood up and stretched his neck. “C’mere, Annie.”

“Ben?” Annie looked at him pleadingly. “Are you sure?”

“Go ahead.” He leaned in to kiss Annie. “I trust you.”

“So, how do we do this?” Annie turned to Joe.

“Well, come here.” Joe said. With a small push from Ben, Annie was on her wobbly feet and walking towards Joe. “Come on.”

Annie looked like Bambi first learning how to walk. She apprehensively approached Joe. He took her hand and pulled her to him.

The rest felt like they were watching a movie. The room fell silent. Rory was fast asleep in Gwilym’s bedroom. The only sound was the slow humdrum of the music Gwilym had playing in the background.

Annie slammed right into Joe’s chest, giggling. They started swaying to the music. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer.

“Are they dancing?” Clara sneered. “They’re bloody dancing!”

“Shhh!” Gwilym silenced her. “This is how he does it.”

“What?”

“Just be quiet and watch.”

With his finger hooked under her chin, Joe tilted her face up. They bumped noses and chuckled. Brushing his lips over hers, he cupped her face in both his hands and kissed her.

“Proper snog.” Ben muttered after he cleared his throat, watching his best friend cowardly kiss his girlfriend.

Joe rolled his eyes and went for it. He poked his tongue out and licked Annie’s lips, parting them. She wrapped her arms around his waist, pulling him closer. As they kissed, Annie nibbled on his bottom lip gently. After a few minutes, Joe pulled away, frowning.

“For the love of all that is holy in this world, Annie, stop trying to bite my lip off will you!?”

“Well if you used a little bit more tongue, I wouldn’t have to do that!” Annie snapped back. “Honestly, this is not what I -”

Annie’s rant was cut short by Joe’s lips, kissing her with more fervour. They pulled away slowly, both frowning this time. They took a step back and stared at each other, disgusted confusion flashing in their eyes. Joe covered his mouth with his hand, turning his face away. Annie almost gagged.

“Well?”

“That was, by far, the worst kiss I’ve ever had.” Annie said, pointing at Joe.

“Christ, I felt like I’m either kissing a crocodile or an eel.”

“And there you have it, folks!” Lucy bowed victoriously.

###

“Why the fuck would you do that to me?!” Annie slammed the cupboard angrily after Ben had put Rory to sleep for the night.

Since they got home, they haven’t said a single word about Joe and Annie’s kiss. Meanwhile, Annie sobered up enough to let the reality of what happened sink in. She kissed Joe and hated it.

“Do what?” Ben feigned innocence.

“You know what you did.” Annie downed her glass of water.

“Because I love you, that’s why.” Ben sighed. “So you didn’t like the kiss, then?”

“No, I didn’t bloody like it!” She slammed the glass on the countertop. “Ben, why? Why would you do this?”

“It needed to happen.”

“I could never look him in the eye again, knowing what a horrid kisser he is!”

“Funny, he texted the same thing about you just a few minutes ago.”

“You’re an arse.”

“No, I’m a bloody genius, is what I am.” Ben puffed his chest. “Should’ve had you do that ages ago.”

“Are you joking?” Annie laughed in disbelief.

“Oh, not at all.” Ben gloated.

Annie turned around to wash the dishes and give Ben the silent treatment. Her attempts were futile. He came up behind her and engulfed her in his arms, nibbling on the shell of her ear. He could feel Annie’s breathing pick up and bent his knees, moving down to her neck. His hands slid down her sides, working their way to the waistband of her jeans.

“What are you doing?”

“Celebrating.”

“What, exactly?”

“Well, you see,” his warm breath washed over her ear, raising goosebumps all over her, “the thing is, I love the fact that you don’t want Joe.”

“I told you a million times…”

“Yes, but now I know for sure. You don’t want anyone else…” He reached over to shut the water off, “… but me.”

#########

TAGLIST: @ramibaby @xgoingdownx @qweenly @violetpond @sweeterthancheese @drummerqueenrmt @westansstuff @justgivemethekeys @blondecarfucker @cheeseedreams47 @rogerspoison @deacy-dearest @pinkmarvel @onceuponadetectivedemigod

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crazy-little-cool-cat · 5 years

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Hand in Glove - Chapter 18 | Ben Hardy x OFC

A/N: It finally happened! I’m slightly mad! And also, you know, I finally finished writing this. I’m so sorry it’s been so long - life has truly been kicking my ass (for all of you wondering: break ups, pregnancy scares and swimming in men. In a nutshell.) Welp! Here it is. Hope you enjoy it! It ended up much shorter than I expected it to be and I’m not mad about it, because every word in this one is pure gold. Also, I hope I didn’t miss anyone in the tags, but if I did just send me a message and I’ll add you because I have no brain force left anymore. K bye!

Word Count: ~2.3K

Warnings: Comdeic gold. Ben being a dad. Joe being Joe. Just... Just read it.

Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13, Chapter 14 , Chapter 15 , Chapter 16 , Chapter 17

The door to Annie’s hospital room almost flew off its’ hinges, startling both Annie and Ben.

“I have come to see the baby Jesus!” Joe bellowed and strutted into the room.

Lucy and Rami carried an obscenely large fruit basket. The fruit was arranged so it would look like a giant teddy’s face. A balloon was securely tied to Rami’s wrist, congratulating the newborn baby and welcoming her to the world.

“Jesus Christ Joseph!” Annie clutched at her chest, “have you lost your bloody mind?”

“This has been going on all day!” Rami untied the balloon and handed over to Annie. “He won’t stop calling her The Baby Jesus!”

“Well, either you calm your tits, Joe,” Ben smacked him on the back of his head, “or you won’t get to hold, see or simply exist within a meter’s radius from The Baby Jesus.”

“Aw,” Lucy cooed after she placed the fruit basket down on the first available surface she could find, “look at him, so protective!”

“I mean it.”

“Where’s Gwilly?” Annie smiled down at a soundly sleeping Rory.

“He’s just outside, waiting for Brian and Roger.” Lucy reassured.

“Brian and Roger are coming as well?” Annie’s eyebrows shot up in surprise.

“They insisted.”

“Well, we should probably get out of here and go to the visiting area?” Ben rubbed his hands together. “No way in hell all of you can fit in here.”

“That’s what she said.” Joe mumbled, eliciting a loud snort from Rami.

###

“Aurora?”

“Yes, Gwil.”

“You named her after a Disney princess?” Gwilym shook his head slightly, his eyes fluttering. “You named your daughter after a bloody Disney princess?”

“I, for one, think it’s a beautiful name.” Brian peered over at baby Rory as she gently waved her arms about in her sleep, “very well done, you two.”

“Meh-neh-neh…” Joe muttered, his upper lip pulling up in a mocking snarl.

“Problem, Joe?” Ben smiled cheekily at his best friend as he reached for yet another slice of orange from the fruit basket.

“It’s a stupid name.” Joe sulked. “Is that what you’re going to call her all the time? Aurora? Like some snooty little brat?”

“No, you arse.” Annie threw a grape at Joe. “We’ll call her Rory.”

“Rory?” Roger’s eyes lit up. “Really?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Oh, that’s heaps better than Galilea!” Roger chuckled and drummed on the table top. Annie looked at Roger in astonishment. “Oh, don’t you worry, love, I’m still going to call her Galilea.”

“Look at those eyes!” Brian cooed, his figure looming over the baby, “what a doll!”

“So that’s it?” Joe crossed his arms over his chest. “You lied to me for almost nine months, making me believe that the baby will be named after me, her favourite uncle, just to break my heart?”

“She’s still named after you, you goof.” Annie rolled her eyes. “Her middle name is Josephine.”

“Her middle name is -” Joe scoffed.

“Joe, listen to me very carefully, now.” Annie snapped her fingers to draw his attention back to her. “Her middle name is Josephine.”

“You don’t have to lie to me to make me feel better.” Joe skulked. “The damage is done.”

“She’s not lying, you twat!” Ben got up from his chair and disappeared down the hallway, only to return moments later with a piece of paper in his hand. “There.”

Joe took the piece of paper from Ben and placed it on the table.

“Joe, just read it.”

“No.”

“Just fucking read the thing!”

“No!”

“It’s Rory’s birth certificate.” Gwil quipped, turning the paper to him. “Aurora Josephine Jones, born July 13th, 2018.”

“Yeah, right.”

“Joe, just have a look at it, will you?” Ben groaned.

Joe snatched the paper and cleared his throat. His hazel eyes darting left and right as he read along.

“Is this a prank?” Joe looked up at his friends with glassy eyes. “Are you guys shitting me, or is this for real?”

“It’s as real as it gets, buddy.” Ben ruffled Joe’s fluffy, curly hair.

“Oh my God…” Joe breathed, tears escaping the corners of his eyes. “Oh my God!”

“Oh, my God.” Gwil and Rami choired and rolled their eyes.

###

It’s been three days since Rory was born and Ben was both sleep deprived and buzzing with adrenaline at the same time. He went back and forth from the hospital to his and Annie’s house. He needed to make sure Frankie wasn’t peeing all over the place and he also brought her some clothes with Rory’s smell on them to sniff and get acquainted with.

“Franks?” Ben hollered from the doorway. “Daddy’s home!”

Frankie scrambled down the stairs, slipping and sliding on the polished wood floors and running into walls. Her entire body swayed from side to side as her tail wagged excitedly. Ben kneeled down and placed Rory’s little onesie on the floor, murmuring words of encouragement to his pup.

“Good girl, Frankie!” Ben cooed and scratched behind her left ear, “you’re going to be the best big sister, aren’t you? You’re going to love Rory so much! Yes you are!”

He trudged up the stairs, taking his clothes off as he went. He fantasised about this shower for days, now. All he wanted was to just relax, have some quiet time, and smell good before he made sure everything was prepared for his baby’s arrival.

###

“Home sweet home!” Ben cooed as he nudged Annie and Rory forward, wrapping his arms around his girls. “Welcome home, Rory.”

Annie did a small side-step around a very excited Frankie, not taking her eyes off the bundle in her arms for a second. She half-listened to Ben cooing and gushing over what a good girl Frankie is as she deeply inhaled the familiar smell of her house. She didn’t even realise her eyes were closed.

“Lay down for a bit?” Ben carefully took Rory from her and started walking around the living room, his fingers softly caressing the velvety skin on her cheek. “You must be exhausted.”

“I am, but I doubt I’ll manage to sleep.” Annie followed him and plopped herself down on the sofa. Frankie strutted over to her and placed her head in Annie’s lap, her tail wagging. “Hey baby girl. I missed you.”

“Well, stay with us, then.” Ben unwrapped one arm from around Rory’s tiny body and bounced her gently as he walked over to the kitchen. “Hungry?”

As if on cue, Rory opened her tiny, rosy little mouth and started screaming like a Banshee. Ben scratched his head with his free arm and looked down at her in confusion.

“Did she just…?” Ben’s brows furrowed. “How did she do that?”

“It was a coincidence, Ben.” Annie giggled and shook her head. “But to answer your question, yes.”

“So’s she, apparently.” Ben mumbled as he walked over to Annie and carefully passed Rory off to her.

###

“She’s so perfect!” Clara whispered in awe at Rory’s week old little face. “Babies usually look like shrivelled little monkey aliens, you know?”

“The amount of ugly babies I had to ‘awww’ at in the hospital…” Annie rolled her eyes and scoffed. “She really is perfect, isn’t she?”

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t be there with the guys!” Clara repeated her mantra again. “I’m such a horrible friend and -”

“Shut up before I punch you in the tits, Clara.”

“The fact that you’re still talking to me is mind-boggling.”

“You were working!” Annie took Rory from Clara’s arms as she got fussy and sat down on the sofa. She reached for the Boppy-Pillow and lifted her shirt. “You need to make bank if you want to shower Rory with gifts, you know.”

“Blimey, what happened to your nips?”

“I am a village feeder now.” Annie yawned and gave Rory’s bum soft pats. “You hungry? I can pull the other one out too.”

“You are disgusting. Vile woman.”

“I’m just trying to be a gracious hostess!”

###

“Arizona?” Annie wondered as she and Ben gave Rory her evening bath. “The job is in Arizona?”

“Well, yeah,” Ben dipped the little plastic cup in the tub and poured the water over Rory. “I mean, it’s big. It’s huge.”

“I get it,” Annie dried her hands off, “I support you. One hundred million percent.”

“But?”

“But it’s so far away, Ben.”

“I know, but it’s only for three months.” Ben bit the tip of his tongue as he smiled down at his three weeks old baby girl. “Three months, and then I’m back.”

“I mean, I’ll have to get back to work and you’ll be away…”

“I’ll come back for as many weekends as I can.” Ben reassured. “You’ll have Gwil right here with you.”

“We can do three months without daddy around. It’ll be fine.” Annie bit the inside of her cheek. “Right?”

“Of course.”

“I wasn’t asking you.” Annie chuckled. “I was asking her.”

“We have five whole months before I go.” Ben flinched away from a big splash. “That’s a lot of time to prepare. We got this.”

“I’ll remember you said that when the day you’ll have to leave comes around and you’ll be crying like a baby.”

###

“Are you allergic to shirts now, Ben?” Annie asked as she walked out of the little gym room, towelling off some sweat.

“What?” Ben scoffed as he wiped some drool off his chest with the back of his hand. “It’s tummy time! This is mandatory!”

“She’s drooling all over you!”

“It’s skin-on-skin time, too!” Ben stuck his tongue out cheekily. “Killing two birds and whatnot!”

“Very efficient!”

“It’s not my fault that I’m just an exceptionally good parent, Annie.”

“Said the man who put the poopy diaper in the fridge last night?”

“I was tired!”

“You were also somewhat drunk.”

“That too.” Ben groaned. “I could’ve just told you to do it, missy. You’re lucky I was already awake and feeling chivalrous.”

“We had shit in the fridge, Ben.”

“Well find me another bloody drunk father who can actually manage a diaper change in the middle of the night!” Ben laughed incredulously. “You’re lucky I didn’t put the bloody diaper on your head!”

“Does my tummy still look wonky?” Annie changed the subject and towered over Ben, turning this way and that. “I feel like I’m wearing a fanny-pack full of blubber.”

“It never looked wonky, Annie,” Ben said, making faces at a fussy Rory, “you had a baby.”

“I just need my body back, okay?”

“Your body is perfect.”

“Shut up. Kiss ass.”

###

“You’re acting like such a baby, Rory.” Joe huffed as he attempted to change Rory’s diaper for the third time.

The first time, she pooped right on the changing table. The second time, she almost ripped his eardrums with a very impressive roar. Now she kept trying to kick him and try to squirm away.

“You’re two months old, now. Practically an adult. Act like one!” Joe chided.

“Trouble in paradise?” Ben lilted from where he stood at the doorway to Rory’s nursery. “Thought you were her favourite uncle and she was nothing but an angel?”

“Shut up.”

“Step aside, Joseph.” Ben said and cracked his knuckles, a smug smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. “Let me show you how it’s done.”

Joe rolled his eyes and mumbled, but stepped away nonetheless. When Rory saw her dad’s head loom over her, she gurgled and kicked about happily. Ben smiled down at her and tickled her feet a little, assessing the situation.

Grabbing her tiny, plump feet in his hands, Ben went about distracting his baby from what was going on.

“I like to move it, move it…” Ben started, making silly faces as he song Rory’s favourite changing song. “I like to move it, move it…”

“What the actual fu…” Joe started and clamped his mouth shut after getting a death glare from Ben.

“I like to move it, move it…” Ben started moving Rory’s legs to the beat of the song. “You like to…?” he paused and raised his eyebrows, beaming when Rory attempted to mimic his expression. “Move it!”

Ben wiggled her feet and shook her body gently, eliciting happy coos and murmurs from his daughter. After that, changing Rory’s dirty diaper was all but a breeze. Joe stood, awestruck, as he watched Ben effortlessly changing Rory. No fuss, no tears.

“I think…” Joe gasped. “Does she really love you more than she loves me?” he said, clutching his chest for dramatic effect.

“She’d better!”

###

“Jamie said what?!” Annie almost dropped the entire pile of folded clothes she carried from the laundry room on top of Frankie. “How dare he!”

“It’s literally everywhere!” Ben rushed over and steadied his girlfriend, Rory secure in her carrier, strapped to his chest. “Your fans are going bonkers!”

“He can’t…” Annie tried to come up with something to say. “He won’t!”

“Ball’s in your court, my love.” Ben shrugged and pressed a quick kiss to the top of Rory’s head, holding the sauce-covered wooden spoon out of her reach. “You need to do something.”

“He can’t just leave the series because of me!”

“The entire world thinks you won’t be coming back because of him, Annie.”

“The entire world can shove it!”

“True.” Ben raised his eyebrows in agreement. “And still, the record needs to be set straight. You can’t hide forever. Your maternity leave will end, you know.”

“What, do I need to make some big public gesture? Dramatic reconciliation?” Annie scoffed as she walked off to put the clothes in their respective places. “This isn’t fair! I’m not the bad guy here!”

“I know you’re not. But Jamie had his little meltdown, he tweeted his pathetic tweets…” Ben tapped the wooden spoon on the rim of the pot. “It’s messy.”

“What do you think I should do, then?” Annie hopped on the counter next to Ben and blew a kiss at her daughter. “What would you do?”

“I’d talk to him.”

“No, really!”

“I’m serious.” Ben shrugged. “I think this right here,” he nodded down at Rory, “pretty much solidified the fact that you’re mine, not his. If he’ll try making a move on you again…”

“He’s an idiot, but he’s not evil.”

“So talk to him.”

“And say what?”

“That he needs to shut his bloody mouth, for starters.”

“Obviously.” Annie scoffed.

“I’m sure you’ll find the right words to say.”

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