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danddymaro · 3 years

Text

Name | Ocelot x Reader

Idea: She wants to know his name.

Flashbacks are in italics : Example

Thoughts are italics in quotes : ‘Example’

Wordcount: 2742

Name

‘ I want to know your name…

I want to say it like we're close …

Ah...No...

Not just that...

No...

I want to be closer than that…

Above all else, I want to be trusted by you…’

As her eyes fell over the man, she felt her heart race, beating with an unsteady pace as she watched his strands of long, silky silver blow with the warm wind.

Batting her eyes quickly, she tore her gaze from his face, falling down to his gloved hand instead, silently placing her own next to his, right there, on the same chilled raining.

‘ I want to... But how can I? ‘ She grimaced, visually showing her internal discomfort as her brows creased, her lips pressed together into a tight, straight line that strained them.

Her wistful thinking did nothing but further her into distress that she knew would eventually morph into misery if she wasn’t careful.

Her little finger gave a small twitch, inching closer to his hand, the thought of it falling over his exiting her greatly, but of course, she stopped herself, deciding to hold onto the cool metal instead.

She held it sternly, her hand balled tightly as she lived through the cowardice decision with disdain,

‘ How can I?

How can I move closer to you when I still don't know you like I should?’ she asked herself, wanting to ask him instead, yet, lacking all the will it took.

‘ Why do I just want to give you everything?

Much more...

Why do you take? But never give?

Am I just not worthy of it? Is that it? Do you just not trust me enough?

I wish you’d tell me.’

She went on, having asked herself the questions over and over again, silently reciting the lines as though practice was all she needed, and one day she’d have what it took to question him.

“ I...” she started, barely breathing out the single word, feeling the words knot up in her throat right off the bat.

To her dismay, they were all jumbled there, afraid to pass through and be set free to be heard.

‘What can I even say to you?’ She wondered, notably downhearted.

It had all become so hard, and perhaps it was her fault, because all in all, he had no reason to tell her anything, and she sure as hell had no reason falling for a man she truly didn't even know to begin with.

‘ He didn't force me to fall in love with him,’ She thought dejectedly, remembering the fact.

She then stammered to say his name, or at least, the false alias he let everyone know, causing her to grow even more sullen as she uttered the address.

Just then, she felt a hand fall over hers, and with caresses of a gentle thumb, her wound-up hand lost its tense grip of the railing. Slowly, she eased, the warmth of his palm crawling all the way up her body, melting every bit of her tensed muscles.

‘ Sometimes I think I’m the problem,’ she told herself with light amusement, ‘But then you touch me so freely...And you always treat me so...’

She trailed off, her eyes peeking over to him, landing on his smile which gently touched the features of his handsome face,

‘ Differently.’ She determined.

‘So differently, that I dare to feel entitled to so much more,’ She added, while, in that very moment, she wanted to huddle closer to him.

He began to say her name, but was unable to finish as she withdrew,

“I have to go!” she said hurriedly, shaking her head as she backed away, her hand slipping right from under his, immediately being cradled close to her chest where she could feel her heart’s unsteady pounding.

“ Hey, hold on there…" He murmured in a soft, mellow voice, “ what's with that face?” He said stopping her, going as far as to take hold of her wrist, pulling her back to him as soon as he took a grasp of her.

Shocked beyond reason, her eyes rounded as wide as they could go, a short gasp leaving her as she soon found herself standing right before the man.

Her heart thudded loudly within her rib cage, the anxious muscle jumpstarted by the intense strength of his observant, icy orbs as they captured hers, holding them hostage upon the first connected glance.

She could feel her face scathing, burning hot to such a degree that she could only imagine it was practically glowing red, steaming like a dish straight out of the oven.

“- You've been actin’ real strange lately,” he commented, notable concern weaved within his observational remark, “Is something bothering you?” He continued on, his thumb's pad gently circling over the underside of her wrist where he’d yet to let her go.

The action was meant to soothe her, coax her into opening up to him more, but it had the contrary effect:

It furthered her already persistent feeling of distress.

“Care to tell me?” He asked her, his voice still painfully soft and sweetened as a gentle smile was worn on display.

Shaking her head, she refused to let herself open, “No...” she said weakly, tugging to free herself.

“So please, just let me go,” she pleaded him with the same notable shakiness and unease.

‘You make my mind blank, and my heart race so much...it’s impractical.

You make me act irrational, and everything you do gives me reason...

It gives me Hope...

Too much of it...’

At her request, there was a certain hardening to his eyes that made her heart still, knowing there wasn’t a chance he’d let her slip away so easily, especially not now that he seemed determined to uncover the truth,

“(f/n),” he said firmly, “What’s going on with you?” he pressed on.

Her face then contorted into a slight sneer, her two hands balled tightly with frustration,

“Why do I have to tell you?” She grumbled, her (e/c) colored eyes strayed far to the side, not planning to look at him as she uttered the words.

‘Maybe I’m overacting...

Maybe I’m taking this all out of proportion...’ She contemplated,

‘But shouldn’t I at the very least know something about you? Shouldn’t I be able to know the man I spend every day with...

Above all things, shouldn’t I at least be able to call you by your actual name?

Even if it’s in private, away from everyone else in the world...’

She compromised,

‘ I trust you.

In fact, I tell you everything.

So , is it too much to ask for you to give something in return? Or is it not my place to want such a thing?’ she wondered. ‘And if not, shouldn’t I be able to hold onto something that you can’t touch, especially if you’re one not to share?

Shouldn’t I find my distance?

...Eventually, wouldn’t I have to say goodbye to you?’ She thought with sadness.

There was bitterness laced within her tone, one he wasn't accustomed to, and taken back, he opened his eyes wide at her notable disdain, surprised the normally sweet girl had such spite, directed at him none the less.

His hold loosened, his hand falling to the side as his shoulders slightly slumped,

“(f/n)…” he started softly as he felt a pang in his chest, and with that little prick to his heart, he felt it grow heavier than usual, making his breathing feel somewhat lagged.

“ Why should you get to know everything about me?” She asked him, “How is it fair you get to … when I don't even know your damn name? “ She questioned him,

“... when you refuse to tell me anything about you!” She sniffled, a glossy sheet coating her lovely (e/c) eyes.

- And it was then that he could see just what burdened her, realization falling upon him in a way that made him feel stupid.

“I see…” he murmured, “Is that it then?” He questioned her with a small, dry chuckle, because, to him, it was inevitable.

“ Alright then, but I have a question for you too,” he said with a shine to his eyes, something that glittered with playfulness muddied with smugness.

“Why do you care so much, hmm?” He asked her, absolutely living for the immediate blush that bloomed over her face, “I’d be willing to tell you who I really am, only if you can tell me why you need these answers, ”

“You...You answer me first,” she said huffing, staring up at him, trying to downplay her fluster by holding her wavering glare.

“I suppose I could go first,” he started teasingly, “ But only if you can keep a secret,” he said giving her a playful wink.

Nodding enthusiastically, she agreed, watching as he came close to her, his mouth just an inch from her ear,

“You have to promise me you’ll only utter the name with me...swear to me that when we’re together, alone, It’s the only thing you’ll call me,” he said while in the close proximity.

Nodding, she swallowed down hard, waiting for his response, “I will. I promise,” She breathed.

“Adam. Only you can call me Adam. You can repeat the name as many times you want, but just in my presence (f/n), “ He told her, seeing the little shiver that struck her.

Nearing her more, he continued to speak,

“And to make certain that no one else hears, let’s make sure to always stay this close,” He advised her, holding back a snicker when he heard a little peep escape her,

“O-Of course...” She said soon after.

“Now... tell me why is it so important to you?” He muttered lowly, his fingers at her hairline, slowly grazing over her to clear away her bangs, parting them to get a better view of her glowing face.

“I just wanted to know,” She answered shyly, not knowing how to really tell him, or even if she should tell him just how she feels.

“You’re a terrible liar,” he mused, lifting up her chin, and by doing so directly looking into her (e/c) colored eyes.

“But I suppose that is what I deserve for being so vague with you, all while in turn, you give me everything.” He said with fondness, appreciating her willingness for him.

“There are many...many things you can’t know. “ He revealed to her, the statement making her nod with understanding,

‘I figured,‘ She told herself with dejection.

“ - For your sake.” He then added, the admittance causing her to look up at him with glowing eyes, taken back,

‘To keep me safe...?’ She repeated, slowly realizing that perhaps he wasn’t all that selfish, having more reasons to keep quiet.

‘He just wants to keep me safe,’ She thought to herself.

“But,” he said while brushing his lips over hers, “ But there are other things I can share with you,” He said while kissed her, both his hands pressed at the sides of her head, pouring every bit of himself into the single smooch.

She didn’t have time to be surprised, instead, falling into him more, immediately melting in his hands,

“Adam…” she sweetly breathed in between the press, drunk on the passionate mash, her hands needily fisting his tawny-colored shirt.

“Already?” He mused, a deep, chuckle resonating from him as he watched her be taken so much by him, all in response to a single kiss.

‘Here, and now?’ He mused.

With large, wondrous eyes she gazed at him, truly wanting to know,

“ Is it wrong?” She airily questioned him.

Was it wrong to already want more?

Was it wrong to be closer to him?

- Close enough for their skin to press against each other in a way that in the future, she would only remember being with him, and no one else.

‘What if, the only thing I want to make sure stays with me, is you?’

“Adam...I'll always be bare for you,” she said as she fisted her button-up shirt, giving it a rough pull to its right side, “I always have been,” she added with shame that quickly subsided.

Immediately, the blouse opened up, it’s little, clear buttons tearing off from their sewed spots, providing him a clear view of her heaved chest clothed only with a thin, cotton bra.

" Whenever you touch me...I feel warm." She confessed, letting him know that even the little brush ups they had left her yearning. “It’s been too long since I first discovered...” she then trailed off before swallowing thickly,

" I feel it here …" she said softly as her hand fell down to her wildly thudding heart, “Always here,” she expressed with certainty, facing him with an open heart,

"...and here…" she continued, gliding it down to her abdomen, "Here I feel warm, and nervous …I feel all the butterflies go wild." She said with a small, giggle while seeing him entranced by her, his eyes stuck to her moving hand.

" And then here… I feel warm here too…" she said whilst it traveled down further, right above a private, little spot that was still fully clothed.

“Especially now,” She informed him. “I was so ashamed before, but if you feel the same way about me, then, isn’t it right?” She questioned him.

" Do you feel too, Adam?" She said with a heavy breath, her hands then pressed against his chest, slowly dipping down as she peered up at him,

“Do I make you feel warm too?” She then asked him, still glancing at him, her hands falling down lower, running over his hardened length, while all the while she audaciously looked up to him,

“Adam?” she said again, her voice soft and low, holding a light husk to it.

“ What are you really asking me ?” He said softly.

She seemed to think long and hard, her lips pressed together before she shook her head, " Do you love me?" She asked him, clear as day to where he could make no mistake on what he'd heard, and there could be no misunderstanding.

Why hold back?

Why waste time?

‘Please just tell me,’

“My warmth… it's because of love. It is love. For some reason, it’s always been. " she explained. “Somehow, I ended up falling in love with a man whose identity was a mystery.

- A man who I knew essentially nothing about.” she confessed. “I've felt so stupid... Like such a fool for doing so, but I couldn't help it,” She added.

“ You told me there are things you can tell me, and this...This is something I should know,

So can you answer me? Can you tell me...Do you love me?” She asked pleadingly, wanting to know, much more, desperate to hear the truth.

“ Your awfully bold,” he said while amused, “I guess I’m just finding this side of you,” he added. “ Shame on me for assuming I knew everything about you, “ He added with a short mutter.

“I guess there are some things you have been keeping from me,” He told her with the same enjoyment.

‘ And all this time I thought I was the only one to hold back. I assumed I would have had to have been patient with you,

but you’re the one touching me…

Tempting me… going as far as to say you love me before I even had the chance to show you,’ he went on.

“You're putting me to shame sweetheart,” he chuckled, lips aimed, soon falling over her sweet lips, soon willing to claim every patch of skin.

“There are a lot of things I can’t tell you,” he told her again, “ And there isn’t much I can do to change that,” he revealed to her,

“ but it’s because I feel the same way, because I also love you,” he told her.

“I have, and if it hasn’t been obvious to you before, I’ll make sure you don’t doubt it now or later.” He guaranteed her.

‘By just knowing my name I’m at a disadvantage,’ He thought while pressing his forehead to hers,

‘But I can’t help but trust you, enough to love you,

enough to give you one of my secrets,’

“- Of course I do.” He told her, for once, giving his heart a voice.

‘If we share the same feeling, then somehow, in some way,

It’s right as it should be.’ She mused, her arms wrapped around him as he pulled her into the vacant room near them.

OPP I FORGOT THEY WERE OUTSIDE.

Good lord she did that outside LOL.

BAD (F/N) !!!!!

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goulets · 3 years

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Heartland

Chapter: 3/8 Pairing: Jason Todd/Dick Grayson Additional Characters: Bruce Wayne, Damian Wayne, Colin Wilkes, Stephanie Brown, Cassandra Cain, Barbara Gordon, Tim Drake, Duke Thomas Rating: T (for now) Case Fic / Kid Fic a03 link

The library has its benefits: no harassment from over-familiar family members, no Dick sexually frustrating him within an inch of his life, and, if he’s willing to be a little sentimental, he kind of does want to show it to the baby. She’s too young to appreciate it, probably, but it stirs something in him to share it with her all the same. He’s heard it’s never too early to get kids into reading - his parents sure as hell never tried, but Jason had read anything he could get his hands on, once he learned how. It had saved him, back then. Maybe it can do the same for her one day.

“Could’ve sworn Bruce had a Dr. Seuss anthology somewhere in here,” he says to her, combing over the shelves with his eyes. “Guess not. You up for something more sophisticated?”

She grunts, squeezing his shirt in her fist. “Alright,” he agrees, pulling Twelfth Night off the shelf. “Shakespeare it is. You’ve got taste, kid.”

***

(dick)

Venice is a nightclub that has gone by many names during its Gotham tenure, and just as many owners. Dick has been undercover here at least twice, back when the club was catering to the wealthier patrons of Little Italy. The current management clearly hasn’t bothered with maintaining that exclusivity - the building is now shabby and outdated, even for this neighborhood. One thing that hasn’t changed, though, is the real draw of Venice, which is the illegal casino in the back rooms beyond the VIP lounge. Through all the club’s owners, the casino has always been run by the Falcones, and always frequented by the city’s most morally flexible elected officials. In the past four nights that Dick’s been staking the place out, he’s seen five judges, two city council members, and even the new police commissioner slipping out the back door into the alley, stinking of gin and cigar smoke and patting their coat pockets with an air of satisfaction. It’s good intel to have, Barbara’s told him. Always helpful to keep the files updated on who’s being bought and by whom. None of that really makes him feel better about the fact that he’s been staking this place out for four nights and still hasn’t managed to pin down their actual target.

It’s embarrassing, is what it is. He’s Nightwing, for God’s sake. He’s taken down whole Russian mobs in Bludhaven, and now he’s being completely eluded by a third-string Falcone no one’s even heard of.

Oracle had ID’d the doer of the Torres/Howard murders in a matter of hours, true to her word, and the ballistics had predictably matched up with a few other murders that the police never bothered investigating. Susanna “Susie” Falcone, a second cousin once removed with a rap sheet that puts many of her relatives to shame. Her name must still have some pull in political circles, because she’s only done time once, in spite of being indicted almost a dozen times. Gotta love good old fashioned judicial corruption, Jason had said. No one had been able to argue, looking at the number of charges dismissed.

All in all, it was supposed to be a fairly simple tag-and-bag. Once they’d found her place of work - officially, the Venice nightclub, unofficially, the family casino - he’d been tasked to track her, question her, and then turn her in to the police. He’d chosen his stakeout perch well, on a hotel roof high above the alley, he’d followed her, unseen, and so far, she’s given him the slip every freaking time. The woman has vanished through every doorway from here to Robinson Park, as only the most enterprising criminal can. Were this a different kind of case, Dick might have been impressed.

Instead, he’s annoyed, and having to compromise - his vantage point is lower, closer but more exposed in the thin shadows of a third story construction platform right above the alley. He can see the door to the club without any difficulty, but the moment he moves, he’ll be open to attack.

He’ll just have to move fast. Fortunately, that’s what he’s best at.

There’s a soft motion behind him, almost quiet enough to escape his notice entirely. It’s Jason - Dick hadn’t expected him to actually turn up. No doubt he’s here to make sure they finally succeed in catching their mark tonight, but he’s been so adamant about not leaving Danielle with anyone except Dick that it’s still a surprise to see him. What’s equally surprising to Dick is that he was apparently hoping Jason would show, if the relief he feels at seeing him is anything to go by.

It’s a nice moment of solidarity, until Jason opens his mouth. “So, fourth night’s a charm, huh?”

Dick bristles. “What happened to not leaving the baby?” he retorts.

Jason bristles back, but doesn’t rise to the bait. It’s a little wrongfooting - a reminder that things are changing between them. Dick is used to the veneer of antagonism that hangs over his relationship with Jason, the unresolved tension they both pretend not to notice. They’d gotten into a pretty good groove when he was acting as Batman, staying out of each others’ way for the most part, and working together when necessary. Dick’s pretty sure Jason doesn’t actually harbor any murderous feelings towards him, just like he doesn’t actually hate Bruce, no matter what he says.

“The girls and Alfred ganged up on me,” Jason says, leaning back against the scaffolding. “Whatever. I needed to get the hell out of there anyways. I don’t know how you stand being around them all so much.”

Dick laughs. “They’re not as interested in me,” he admits. “I’m not the cool sibling.”

Jason doesn’t respond right away. It's hard for Dick to tell, when he’s wearing the helmet, but he thinks Jason is probably waiting to see if Dick is joking. It’s another way things have shifted between them - Jason’s holding back, not jumping straight to lashing out, like he used to. It should be a good thing - it is a good thing, but it’s throwing him off balance all the same. He feels like he's spent most of the past several days looking for Jason, even when Jason is right in front of him. He’s used to trying to find the Jason he knows - or knew - the Jason who was taken away from him. Now there’s a new Jason, a Jason he’s still getting to know. Dick can’t choose between them, can’t decide which one he wants to find every time he looks at him. Maybe that’s why he can’t seem to find his one lousy mafia shooter.

“Looks like the cops are covering up the ballistics report on Reynolds,” Jason says, after a moment. “Go figure.”

Dick frowns. “Just Reynolds?”

Jason grunts. “Hold on. What.”

Dick turns to look at him.

“Did you burp her?”

Oh, Dick realizes, he’s on the comm. Someone back at the Manor must have pinged him on a private line.

“Then get Alfred to do it.”

It’s curious that the ballistics on Cy Reynolds’ murder are the ones being suppressed, Dick thinks. He was the only one killed with a submachine gun - the bullets from most of the other crime scenes had come from a standard Beretta APX, and the object of his stakeout, Susie Falcone, had used a Glock on Danielle’s parents. The Glock matched a few other shootings, the Beretta matched none. None of that is particularly noteworthy - after all, Susie is a criminal, and Beretta shell casings are a dime a dozen at any mob shooting.

“Fine. I’ll check back in five. If you asswipes don’t pick up, I’m coming back there.” Jason makes an aggravated noise in the back of his throat, which Dick takes to mean he’s hung up.

“Everything OK?”

“Just peachy. By some cosmic fucking joke, I’m the only person in the family who can get the baby to take a damn bottle. I told her they just need to burp her, but I guess that’s too complicated a task for a family of genius detectives,” Jason grumbles. “I knew I shouldn’t have left her. Shit.”

“Jay, relax. She’s fine.” Dick can’t help but grin at him. It’s honestly sweet, the way Jason and the baby have gotten attached to each other. Dick likes to think he’s her second favorite, but it’s pretty hard to tell. No matter who’s holding her, she’s always looking at Jason, and Jason never stops looking at her.

“It’s fucking cold out here,” Jason says mulishly.

Dick raises an eyebrow. “I noticed. It’s April, not August. If you really want to go back, I’m not gonna stop you.”

“I don’t…” Jason sighs. “Look, I’m here, okay? You bungled this grade school op three nights in a row, so congrats, you triggered the bat buddy system. If I leave and you fuck it up again, I’ll never hear the end of it.”

Dick supposes it’s his turn not to rise to the bait. “Fair enough,” he says easily, turning around to face the alleyway again. “What were you saying about the ballistics on Reynolds?”

“Oh, Oracle ran the bullets through Interpol. Turns out our ill-fated gang boss was offed by one of Carmine Falcone’s personal weapons. The record’s been scrubbed from US databases, but Babs had a hunch.” Jason sounds impressed.

“Been scrubbed meaning...there was a record,” Dick follows, “and some people might still remember, if they saw the bullets. Hence the coverup.”

“Yup. Hence the coverup.”

“Could explain what the commissioner was doing here the other night,” Dick muses.

Jason snorts derisively. “See, this is what I hate about the mafia. They’re so goddamn predictable. Kill the competition, pay off the cops, around and around forever. It’s so pedestrian.”

Dick laughs. “You’d rather deal with Clayface?”

“Fuck yes I would. Clayface has flair, you know? Anybody can be a mobster, shit.”

Jason has started shifting with agitation, or maybe impatience. Either way, their vantage spot isn’t hidden enough for him to be moving around. “Get low if you’re gonna be twitchy,” Dick tells him. “Or if you’re gonna have a cigarette, but I’d really rather you didn’t.”

“Lucky for you I quit then,” Jason says, crouching down next to him. “I’m not jonesing, I’m just fucking cold.”

“We could huddle together for warmth,” Dick jokes, grinning unabashedly when Jason’s helmet fixes him with a death glare. “Wait, you quit smoking? When?”

“When I started taking care of a baby, obviously.” Jason goes still, suddenly. “Is that her?”

The door to the alleyway opens, and they both tense - but it’s just a man, a bodyguard, by the looks of him. Close-cropped blonde hair, early 40s, used to throwing his weight around. Feeling there’s something familiar about him, Dick nudges Jason and motions for him to take a photo. Jason starts almost imperceptibly at the contact, but follows suit. They both hold perfectly still in the shadows as the man looks around, glances in a cursory way along the rooftops, and then sets off down the alley towards the street.

“I know him,” Jason mutters. “From Tim’s case files - he was with Intergang.”

Dick doesn’t say anything about Jason calling Tim by name, but it’s a welcome development. “Looks like he switched sides, if he’s hanging out here.”

“Wonderful,” Jason says. “All right, I’m gonna check on the kid again.”

Dick represses the urge to give him a shoulder squeeze, or ruffle his hair. It’d probably result in him getting shoved off the platform, but Jason’s being so....not different, because Dick’s always known that this Jason was still in him, somewhere. Always hoped, anyways. When Jason had been younger and acted like this, surly with his words but tender with his actions, Dick had always thought of him as cute. It’s like that now, too, except it’s not just cute, because Jason has several inches and at least two weight classes on him. It’s cute in a different way, an adult way. It’s cute in a way that makes Dick want to push harder against Jason’s armor, to catch as many glimpses of that side of him as he can. If he thinks about it too long, it’s cute in a way that makes him want, recklessly.

“Red Hood to Batgirl,” Jason says. He’s calling on the family line this time. “Give me an update.”

“You’re seriously a helicopter parent, you know that, Hood?” Steph laughs in Dick’s ear. “We figured it out. Well...Black Bat figured it out.”

Jason’s shoulders sag a little in relief. Cute, Dick thinks, involuntarily. He needs to get a grip. “About fucking time.”

“She prefers being propped up,” Cass says. “It helps her swallow.”

“That’s what I was trying to tell you earlier. And she likes her back straight.”

“You said none of that, actually,” Steph says. “You just told us to support her head. Which we have been, thank you very much.”

“You have her now?”

“Robin has her.”

Dick and Jason look at each other. Jason says, “What the fuck?”

“Right?” Steph sounds amused. “I was surprised too....his friend is here, that ginger kid? He’s the one that took her from the orphanage, right?”

“Batgirl, I swear to god, if anything happens to her - ”

“Oh, calm down, jeez,” Steph groans. “They’re being supervised, okay? It’s honestly precious, you would agree with me if you could see it. I’ll text the pictures to N.”

“Please do,” Dick says. Speaking of cute, in a way that’s much safer to think about.

“Go do your job now,” Cass tells them. “We’re handling it.”

“Yeah, what she said. Batgirls out.”

“Feel better?” Dick asks, after a moment.

“Don’t ask me that,” Jason grouses. “And show me those pictures when you get them.”

Dick grins. “Sure, Jay.”

“Ugh.”

Dick decides to change the subject, before Jason gets too antsy and tries to bail. “So how do you want to play this, when Susie shows?”

Jason points to a dumpster halfway down the alley. “We wait until she’s there. I’ll get the club door, put a taser on it to stop her getting back in or anyone else from coming out. You cut her off before she gets to the street, and we question her on the backside of the dumpster. I’ll take line of sight, since I’m packing.”

Dick nods. “So is she.”

“So is every goon in those back rooms, sure. That’s why we lock their asses in.”

“And if they come out the front?”

Jason spins a gun in his hand. “Rubber bullets do the job just fine if you know how to aim. Let me worry about the backup.”

Another thing that’s changed about Jason - or that hasn’t changed, depending on how far back Dick looks. He uses rubber bullets now, whenever he’s working a case with one of them. Supposedly it’s a stipulation from Bruce, but Jason didn’t use lethal force on the couple cases he and Dick worked together, either, back when Dick was wearing the cowl. Dick thinks Bruce just gave him an excuse - whatever bloodlust Jason was fueled by when he first came back to Gotham has long since dried up. There are still things that set him off - Barbara had informed them about a dead rapist in the Narrows just last month - but Bruce hadn’t even commented on it, besides the barest acknowledgment. Dick thinks he might be the only one that actually cares when Jason kills someone, anymore. And what’s really disturbing is that he’s not actually sure how much he cares. For instance, he knows Jason has a third gun, holstered under his jacket, loaded with live ammo. He could call Jason out on it, insist he ditch it or at the very least unload it.

He says nothing. Let me worry about the backup. If this mission ends in a massacre, Dick will only have himself to blame.

The door opens again, and out steps Susie Falcone.

She immediately looks around, staying still in the doorway for a minute or more. Dick is pretty sure she hasn’t seen him following her, but he’s familiar with the sensation of being watched. He and Jason both shrink further into the shadows, waiting for her to make a move.

The whole process takes about six seconds. The moment she gets a few paces into the alley, they drop down. Jason electrifies the door handle, and Dick outmaneuvers her easily, slapping his police-issue cuffs on her and kicking her gun aside, then spinning her into the wall behind the dumpster. She hits it with a grunt. By the time she’s glaring at him, Jason is at his side again.

“Nightwing and Red Hood?” she says. “Damn. Didn’t expect to see you fellas out here.”

She doesn’t seem scared of them. Dick guesses they’ll have backup coming their way soon.

“Hey, what do you know,” Jason says conversationally, picking up the gun and emptying the clip in one swift motion. “Nightwing, I do believe this is our Glock.”

“Not mine,” Susie objects. “Picked it up off the club floor.”

“Come on, Susie, you’re smarter than that.” Jason crosses his arms. “Look, I can appreciate a sensible weapon. The Berettas the rest of your family favors? Too flashy for me. I loved Sopranos as much as the next guy, but come on.”

Dick suppresses a laugh. “Thought you were a Sig man,” he says in an undertone. He hadn’t expected Jason to take the lead, but it’s working. Susie looks agitated at the mention of her family.

“Wow, stalker. Remind me to move safe houses,” Jason quips back. “Aw, look, she slipped your cuffs.”

There’s a taser in Susie’s newly freed hand, and Dick quickly sidesteps it, twists it out of her wrist and sends it clattering down the cobblestones of the alley. Jason sweeps her legs out from under her and knocks her down flat, maybe a little harder than Dick would’ve. Thankfully, she goes down without a fight.

“Let’s try this again,” Dick says, kneeling next to her and zip-tying her wrists. If he wasn’t sure before, he is now - she was expecting them. They won’t be alone for long. He throws a couple smoke pellets down to the ends of the alley, and clips a nearly invisible wireless mic to the shoelaces of her boot under the guise of patting her down.

“You’re obviously not surprised to see us, so just tell us what we want to know,” Jason tells her, squatting down. “I’ll be honest, I don’t really give a shit that you shot Big Mouth, but what did Linda Torres ever do to you?”

“Let me up,” Susie snarls.

“No. Talk, or I’ll give you a taste of that taser you tried to pull on us.”

“Hood,” Dick hisses.

“See? He knows I’ll do it. Save yourself the grief, Susie.” Jason points the barrel of his gun lazily at her temple.

Susie narrows her eyes. “Fine. The two of them robbed me, last September. Dumb motherfuckers didn’t know who they were messing with. But I let them live because the bitch was pregnant.”

Jason makes a noise of disbelief. “Oh, sure. You’re a real bleeding heart, is that it?”

“Like you’re any better,” Susie fires back.

“You said you waited on Linda because she was pregnant,” Dick says. “Why’d you wait to kill Big Mouth?”

Susie’s mouth twists. “Guess I just felt like it.” Dick doesn’t need to see the tension in her shoulders to know she’s lying.

“Strike two.” Jason clicks the safety off. “Who put the hits out?”

“Doesn’t matter,” Susie answers. “I’m dead if I talk, so pistol whip me if you want to. Here’s the God’s honest truth: I really didn’t need a reason to kill those assholes. I was out for ‘em anyways. But I’m not crazy enough to kill a baby, all right? I don’t need shit like that on my conscience.”

“Keep talking,” Jason growls. Dick hears the whoop of a siren a few blocks off. “Where’s the baby now?”

“Somewhere safe, I swear. If anybody comes for her, it won’t be me.”

Susie still thinks Danielle’s at the orphanage, then. That’s good for them, but potentially bad for all the other kids, Colin included. These guys clearly have no problem killing children, even if Susie won’t do it.

The sirens are getting closer. Someone inside must’ve called the cops. Dick motions to Jason, indicating they need to wrap things up.

“Who is coming for her,” Jason barks, every line of his body a threat. “You’ve got five seconds.”

“You don’t.” Susie looks triumphant. They can hear the shouts of police from behind the smoke. “But don’t worry, boys. You’ll find out who really runs this town soon enough.”

“Hood,” Dick mutters. “We need to go, cops in this neighborhood aren’t cape-friendly.”

Jason stands, visibly enraged, and for a moment Dick thinks he’ll shoot Susie anyways. He’s prepared to move - but then Jason pulls out his grapple, fires, and flies up onto the roof.

“Talk about a bleeding heart,” Susie says to Dick. “He have kids or something?”

Dick doesn’t like her tone of voice at all. She’s too relaxed, too unconcerned about being under arrest. She won’t stay in long.

“It’s Nightwing! Get your hands up!”

Dick obliges, ready to pull his escrima sticks.

Three police officers come through the smoke, weapons drawn. “You better have a damn good reason for being this far out of Bludhaven,” one of them shouts at Dick.

“Sure do!” Dick calls back. “Arrested a murderer for you, no need to thank me!”

“Shut up,” a different officer retorts. “Keep your hands up, pretty boy.”

“Oh, fuck this,” Jason mutters over the comm. “I’m throwing you an escape, we’ll recon on the library roof. Stop being so goddamn chatty.”

One smoke pellet later, Dick is three rooftops away and flying. He gets to the library before Jason, exhilarated as ever from a good run.

Jason drops down next to him after a minute or so, laughing when he gets a look at Dick’s smile. “Running from the cops still does it for you, huh?”

Dick elbows him, momentarily forgetting to keep his distance. “Doesn’t it for you?”

Surprisingly, Jason doesn’t move away. “Usually they’re shooting at me, so.”

Dick leans closer, testing. “So…yes?”

“You’re so annoying,” Jason says, but he lets Dick nudge his shoulder, bump their arms together. He’s so solid, Dick thinks. So big. More like Bruce than any of them.

“So, how fast do you think she’ll get out?” he asks, when Jason stays quiet.

“Fucking tomorrow, probably,” Jason sighs. “Next week if we’re lucky.”

“Sounds like she didn’t know about Danielle, at least.”

“She’s not the problem,” Jason says, shrugging Dick off and standing back up. “Falcones will blow up the whole orphanage if they get wind of it. We need to put them down first.”

“We need to find out who’s in charge,” Dick agrees. “I planted a mic on her shoe. In the laces. Hopefully she won’t find it for a few days.”

“Good thinking,” Jason nods. “You gonna keep patrolling?”

“Might as well,” Dick says, standing up next to him and stretching his arms over his head. “I’m still stiff from that stakeout, I need to move.”

Jason’s gone quiet again. Dick thinks he hears his breath catch, but the helmet muffles it enough that it could be a yawn.

“You’re going back to the manor?”

Jason groans. “Fuck my life, yes.”

“You miss her, huh.” Cute, his brain chants.

Jason doesn’t answer, but Dick has a feeling he’s getting the stink-eye.

“I miss her too,” Dick offers. “It’s okay.”

Jason sighs. “Dick…”

“It’s a good thing, Jay. You care about her! We all do,” Dick adds, seeing the rigidity in Jason’s posture. “I mean, you’re practically her parent right now. Of course you miss her.”

“...Don’t say it like that.” Jason’s voice is low, almost pained, and Dick knows he pushed too far. “Like…like I have a right to, okay, just. Don’t.”

“Jason, wait,” Dick starts, but he doesn’t get to finish. Without a backward glance, Jason fires off a line to the neighboring building, and then he’s gone.

***

(tim)

The docks are quiet, unsettlingly so, as Tim prowls around the towers of shipping containers, keeping to the deep shadows they cast along the chipped pavement. It’s overcast, so there’s no moonlight to expose him, but it’s also too dark to see which of the trucks and campers parked all over are occupied, which ones might suddenly turn their headlights on him and catch him out.

One truck in particular - an innocuous looking Isuzu with a stunningly weaponized interior, is the object of his search. The driver, Felipe, is one of Tim’s best informants within Intergang - or had been, prior to the upheaval. Tim’s reasonably sure that Felipe is too lowly a grunt to make an example of, but still, he’s concerned that he hasn’t heard from him in a few days.

As it turns out, he needn’t have worried. He finds Felipe a hundred yard away from his truck, taking a piss off the wharf. He lets himself into the passenger side of the truck, and immediately notes that it is packed. There’s hardly a spare inch in the back, and Tim has a tough time even getting into the passenger seat with all the bags, clothes, and blankets stuffed into it. He pushes the majority of it to the floor, and waits.

Felipe comes back a few moments later. He opens the door and starts, eyes going wide when he sees Tim, but Tim puts his finger to his lips and motions for Felipe to get in so they can talk.

“Red Robin,” Felipe says, once the door is closed. He looks even more shaken than usual. “What the fuck, man?”

Tim crosses his arms. “You tell me, Felipe. You’ve been dodging my calls for days, and now I find out you’re skipping town?”

“I ditched that phone, man. Boss Reynolds had my number in there, you know? Ditched it as soon as I heard about him. I wasn’t trying to ghost you, honest.”

“Relax,” Tim tells him. “I’m not mad. I’d dodge me, too. Just tell me what happened, and I’ll shadow you out of town. Make sure you’re not followed.”

“Shit, man,” Felipe sighs. “Okay, look. There’s shit I can’t tell you, not if I ever want to hench again. You gotta figure that all out yourself, yeah?”

Tim shrugs. “Fine.”

Felipe swallows. “It started last week when Boss Reynolds met with somebody - I don’t know his name, God as my witness, but from what I heard, ‘cause I was unloading some of that funky alien tech, and you know Boss Reynolds wanted to supervise that personally - anyways, this guy in a suit took a meeting with him, and it sounded like he was offering Boss Reynolds a job. Said he had a new operation, bigger than Intergang, bigger than anything Gotham’s seen in a while.”

“Did Reynolds believe him?”

“Nah, he told him to get lost. They had some words, and then everybody started pulling guns, and I went back to the ship so I didn’t get fuckin’ shot, but I didn’t hear anything after that. Next thing I saw, Boss Reynolds was calling his son up and telling him to demo some building down by the old boardwalk - a hotel, maybe. Guess he wanted to expand that way, I don’t know.”

“That was the old Falcone hotel,” Tim says, mostly just to see Felipe’s reaction. He isn’t disappointed - Felipe goes pale, and his eyes flash to the rosary hanging off his rearview mirror. Tim likes Felipe as an informant because he’s nosy, shockingly competent for a henchman, and because he really likes to gossip. He’s never held back on Tim before this.

“Few days later, one of ours, this merc named Tiberius, comes down to the warehouse and says he’s got something to show us. Takes out a fat fuckin’ folder full of pictures…man, it was some sick shit. Boss Reynolds, his wife, Reynolds Jr, and every fuckin’ guy under him. Kids, man. He just passed it around, made everyone look at it. Then he says, we can either be in the folder, or we can come meet the new boss.”

Felipe takes a shaky breath. “Obviously I go with Tiberius, like everyone else. I heard a couple guys stayed on the ship that was docked, thinking they’d wait ‘em out, but the new boss blew it up. Says we’re not in the tech business anymore, and anyone caught trying to smuggle it is gonna get tied to it and tossed in the harbor. You can imagine my concerns,” he says, gesturing to his truck. Tim estimates half or more of the weapons in it are salvaged from alien junk. Roy Harper would have a field day with the setup this guy’s made for himself.

“So that’s why you’re bailing,” Tim says, understanding. He can hardly blame the guy. “Why not just hide the truck somewhere?”

“Well…I did think about that,” Felipe admits. “Tiberius made us a pretty sweet pitch, once we went along with him. Not gonna lie, I was tempted. Tech is my thing, you know, but I can make a gun out of pretty much anything. I could see the possibilities, is what I’m saying, but that was before we met the new boss.”

Tim nods encouragingly. This is what he’s been waiting to hear.

“Listen, Red Robin - I know we’ve had our differences, but I respect you, man, you know that. You’ve been good to me, so I’m gonna give you some advice here. Stay the hell away from the new boss. Like, don’t even get involved. I’ve been henching for a while, and I’ve seen some messed up shit, but they are crazy. Está loca, you feel me? I’ve seen the hit list, and you’re right at the top of it. You and all the other capes. Half of Arkham, too. And they’re connected, like you wouldn’t believe. Shit, I’m already saying too much, man. You see the position I’m in here?”

“I do, Felipe,” Tim tells him. He hands over a stack of hundred dollar bills, their agreed-upon rate for information. “Where are you going?”

“You’re crazy too, if you think I’m telling you that,” Felipe scoffs.

Tim wasn’t expecting a straight answer anyways. “Fair enough. You heading out now?”

“Soon as you get the hell outta my car, yeah. You said you’d shadow me out?”

“I will,” Tim says. “From a distance. If you don’t see me, it means you’re clear to cross the bridge.”

“All right,” Felipe nods. “In that case, I hope I never see your ass again.”

Tim laughs, and climbs out of the truck.

He finds his own way out of the shipyard, pulls a bike out of a safe house, and catches up with Felipe’s GPS signal halfway to the Fashion District. Once he’s sure there’s no immediate threat, he calls Barbara.

“Red Robin to Oracle. I’m uploading a recording to the server.”

Barbara is in his ear at once. “You met with your informant?”

“He wouldn’t give me a name, but he let a couple things slip.”

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense,” she says.

“First, he flinched hard when I brought up the Falcone name.”

“Confirms what we already know,” Barbara says. “Good. There’s more?”

“There’s more.” Tim tries not to gloat. This is, after all, a serious situation. “He was being cagey about mentioning the leader’s gender, so I was already suspicious, but then said ‘está loca’ when he was trying to warn me.”

Barbara whistles. “Well,” she says, sounding satisfied. “That’ll certainly narrow it down.”

“Yep,” Tim says grimly. “Looks like the new head of the Falcone family is a woman.”

***

(jason)

When Jason was Robin, the library had always been his favorite room in the Manor. It had spoken easily to his idea of what wealth was - rich people had fancy cars, sure, and maybe pools and expensive wardrobes, but wealthy people had art collections, and gardens, and libraries. Jason had spent hours upon hours browsing the shelves, reading anything he could wrap his brain around (and plenty of things he couldn’t), suggesting additions to Alfred, and avoiding his schoolwork in favor of learning about more interesting things, like string theory, or cryptology, or chemical warfare.

That was then.

Now, the library is the only place he can get a minute of peace from the constant barrage of his obnoxious, nosy, boundaryless family members. They’ve been characteristically persistent in their curiosity about him, and about Danielle, who is now Dani, courtesy of Stephanie. This is a nickname family, she’d said, and Jason hadn’t known how to disagree. So now she’s Dani, and Jason is family, and that apparently means he is no longer entitled to any privacy, or personal space for that matter. The only person who hasn’t barged in on him is Bruce, which is almost worse, in a way, because it’s one thing when nobody seeks him out, and it’s quite another when everyone does and then Bruce...doesn’t. Not that he wants Bruce to come up and bother him, God. But he’s in the man’s house, he’s hearing him on the comm constantly either on patrol or down in the cave, and all the other Bat brats and even Alfred are buzzing around him like flies. It’s too much - it feels like before, except for Bruce’s conspicuous absence reminding him that it’s not.

Sharing a bathroom with Dick is another before experience that Jason didn’t need a repeat of. In some ways, it was worse when he was Robin - stripping and showering after patrol in the cave with Dick a few feet away from him is a memory he really wouldn’t have minded leaving back in the Pit - and in other ways, it’s worse now, because Dick is always freaking around. There’s no reprieve, he’s not flitting off to the Titans every week like he used to be. Jason hasn’t gone half a day without Dick getting in his space, drawing up close to him and making that earnest eye contact he’s so annoyingly good at; sometimes wet, sometimes half-naked, sometimes both. And what can Jason do? He’s not going to leave Dani, and he needs Dick to be there so he can get some sleep every once in a while, or patrol, or shower. It’s actually been pretty helpful to have him around, in that regard, but if he has to see the guy walking around with bedhead and nothing but a pair of boxer briefs on one more time, he’s going to fucking explode.

So, the library has its benefits: no harassment from over-familiar family members, no Dick sexually frustrating him within an inch of his life, and, if he’s willing to be a little sentimental, he kind of does want to show it to Dani. She’s too young to appreciate it, probably, but it stirs something in him to share it with her all the same. He’s heard it’s never too early to get kids into reading - his parents sure as hell never tried, but Jason had read anything he could get his hands on, once he learned how. It had saved him, back then. Maybe it can do the same for Dani one day.

“Could’ve sworn Bruce had a Dr. Seuss anthology somewhere in here,” he says to her, combing over the shelves with his eyes. “Guess not. You up for something more sophisticated?”

She grunts, squeezing his shirt in her fist. “Alright,” he agrees, pulling Twelfth Night off the shelf. “Shakespeare it is. You’ve got taste, kid.”

He wonders, not for the first time, what exactly he thinks he’s doing, playing at this whole parenting thing. The rational part of his brain knows that this is a case, that Dani is a victim, that Jason is protecting her because it’s his job. The emotional part of his brain has gone completely off the goddamn rails. Case in point: he’s here with her in the library, prepping her for early literacy like some kind of Crest Hill soccer mom wannabe. Like he’ll even be in her life when she starts doing her ABCs - God willing, she’ll be as far away from him as possible by the time that happens.

It’s fucking hard to think about. He never thought he’d get this attached to a person who can’t even burp on their own. It’s been over a week, and he still struggles with putting her down, with stepping away from her, even when he knows he’s coming right back. Steph and Damian have been wanting to hold her all the time, and Jason knows that they’re capable, knows he has no claim over Dani, doesn’t even mind either of them all that much under normal circumstances, and still, he can’t help feeling like something has reached inside and gripped at his heart every time he passes her over. Which is ridiculous, because she’s not his, he has no more claim over her than any other schmuck off the street. She’s just a kid with unbelievably bad luck, and he’s the idiot who followed Dick up the stairs instead of booking it out the door like a sensible person.

He settles down with her on the couch, propping her up on a couple of pillows, giving her foot a little squeeze. She squeals, smiling at him, and stuffs her fingers in her mouth. God, Jason didn’t know he could feel the way he feels whenever she smiles at him. It’s gonna kill him when he has to give her up.

“If music be the food of love, play on,” he reads, walking his fingers up her leg. “Give me excess of it, that, surfeiting, the appetite may sicken, and so die.”

Dani watches him, chewing happily on her fingers. “‘O, it came over my ear like the sweet sound that breathes upon a bank of violets.’ That’s you, you know.” He pokes her in the cheek, grinning. If music be the food of love…but hell, he doesn’t think he’ll ever get enough of this. Especially when she’s all calm and engaging, the precious few minutes that he’s learned to appreciate in between finishing eating and being tired and cranky, when all she wants to do is look around at things, and all Jason wants to do, ever, is look at her.

The door to the library opens, and Jason goes from content to murderous in a fraction of a second. “What the fuck is it now,” he hisses, expecting Damian or maybe Tim, coming to nag him some more, and instead sees Damian’s friend Colin, who looks horrified to have intruded on him. Jason immediately feels like the world’s biggest ass.

“Sorry,” Colin whispers, mortified, and Jason waves a hand apologetically.

“My bad, I didn’t know it was you. Come in, it’s fine. She’s awake, you don’t need to whisper.”

Colin looks unsure, but soon nods and steps into the library, shutting the door firmly behind him.

Once inside, he dawdles by the nearest bookshelf, clearly at a loss. Jason probably should’ve just let him back out, because this is awkward. Should he keep reading to Dani? Talk to Colin? Ask him why he looks like someone just kicked him and stole his dog?

“You good?” he ventures, figuring he ought to at least attempt to be the adult in the room.

Colin glances at him over his shoulder, smiling tentatively. “Yeah, just bored. Damian’s sleeping, we had a rough patrol last night.”

“We?” Jason repeats, stunned. Bruce isn’t an exemplar of child welfare practices, sure, but letting Damian take other kids on crime-busting playdates? What the hell?

“Oh, I guess you don’t know,” Colin frowns. “I’m….uh, it’s probably easier if I just show you.”

He slides his jacket off, threadbare t-shirt hanging off his skinny frame. Jason tenses, not sure what to expect. When Colin’s arm starts to expand, his eyes widen. By the time his fist is as big around as Jason’s thigh, he thinks his eyebrows have probably disappeared into his hairline.

“Oh.” Jason has no idea how he’s supposed to react to this. Is Colin a meta? He’s pretty sure he would know if Colin was a meta. “How…?”

“Scarecrow,” Colin explains. Jason’s heart sinks. “He experimented on me with synthetic Venom. Batman saved me.”

Dani fusses, twisting her body and scrunching her face up. Jason sympathizes - this conversation is giving him gas, too. “Shit,” he says. Not the most articulate way of expressing his condolences, but Colin’s friends with Damian, so tact can’t be of great importance to him. “I didn’t know.”

Dani starts to cry, and Colin takes a couple steps forward, putting Jason’s hackles up at once. Stop it, he tells himself sternly. He might have fallen down a few pegs, but he’s not pathetic enough to square up against an abused fifth grader. He picks her up, rubbing her back, and then glances over at Colin. The kid’s gone shy, looking down at a point somewhere between Jason’s legs and the floor. Jason feels all the hostility bleed out of him, and he sighs.

“You can sit down.” He gestures to the couch, trying to sound nonthreatening. Dani burps, mouths at his shirt, and then gurgles and kicks her legs again. She leans back against his hold to stare at Colin, and Colin’s face splits into a huge grin. He tucks himself down into the cushions, keeping plenty of space between them, but Jason can sense from the inclination of his body that he wants to be closer. Well, if anyone has a right to be close to Dani, it’s the kid who rescued her in the first place.

“Here,” he offers, turning Dani around in his arms. His heart clenches, and he clamps down on his desire to flee. “You can hold her for a minute, if you want to. She likes you.”

Colin looks at him, eyes shining. “Really?”

Jason nods. “Go ahead. Honestly, you probably know a lot more about this shit than I do.”

Colin takes Dani from him carefully, smiling at her and laughing when she reaches forward to grab at his jacket zipper. A few seconds later, it’s in her mouth, along with most of her fist.

“Should I…?” Colin looks at Jason hesitantly.

“I mean…she’s had worse things in her mouth,” Jason tells him. A ringing endorsement of his child-minding abilities right there. “It’s fine, right? That’s how they build an immune system, or whatever.”

“Well, Alfred washed this for me last night,” Colin admits, looking embarrassed. “So it shouldn’t be too gross.”

Jason leans back against the couch cushions, crossing his arms. “Getting all the perks, huh?”

Colin shrugs, casting his eyes down again. “I like it here.”

Considering where Colin grew up, Jason supposes he can’t blame the kid. Still, he’s not quite wrapping his head around this sweet, genuinely nice kid being buddies with Damian. The demon brat isn’t exactly known for his winning personality, and Jason only knows vaguely how the two of them met, but what he’s heard doesn’t strike him as being particularly conducive to forging the lasting bonds of friendship.

Curiosity gets the better of him, and he decides to just ask. “Why’d you call Damian, the night you found her?”

Colin looks surprised. “I...don’t know,” he says, slowly. “I didn’t know who else to call? Damian’s my best friend, and he always knows what to do.”

Jason can’t keep the skeptical look off his face.

“And if he doesn’t, Bat….Bruce, I mean, definitely always knows what to do.”

Jason scrubs a hand over his face. Time to change the fucking subject. “How’d you two get hooked up, anyways?”

Dani turns her head to look at him, still eating Colin’s zipper. Sometimes, Jason gets the bizarre feeling that she can somehow tell when he’s about to blow a gasket. It’s probably a coincidence - she moves around a lot, and Jason has anger issues that flare up every ten minutes, so there’s bound to be some crossover - but it works, because it takes the fight right out of him every time.

“We worked a case together,” Colin says, holding Dani a little more securely against him. “About a year ago, I guess. Kids were disappearing from my orphanage, and from the shelters. I don’t think you were around.”

“I wasn’t,” Jason shakes his head. He and Roy had been busting a trafficking ring in Ibiza, and it had taken Jason over a month to get all the major players. “I heard about it a little, from Dick.”

Dick hadn’t given him too many details at the time - Jason had chalked it up to him having a few other things on his mind, but as Colin fills in the gaps, he starts to suspect Dick just didn’t want him going on a rampage. Which he absolutely would have - he still wants to, God. God. All those poor kids, just a stone’s throw from his old neighborhood. And of course the police had done jack shit - Zsasz is practically Black Mask’s pet, he probably paid them off to look the other way, not that most of them need the excuse - and Bruce was gone, and Jason was gone, and Dick was in over his head, and - fuck, it should never have fallen to Damian and Colin.

He waits for the fury to subside a little, not trusting what will come out of his mouth. Dani hums around her fist, blinking at him, and it helps. “Jesus,” he says, finally. “This fucking town.”

Colin’s mouth twists a little. “Yeah. But you were Robin, right? You probably saw worse things.”

Did he? Jason doesn’t remember. He doubts it, though. He can’t imagine he would’ve been satisfied with Bruce’s way of dealing with it.

“I wouldn’t have pulled my stroke, when I was Robin,” he muses. “Probably why Bruce never gave me a sword.”

No, Jason would’ve bisected the fucker. It still has appeal, though he thinks he would lean towards his favorite Sig rifle if he was taking care of it today. Headshots for the henchmen - anyone who signs on to that kind of operation, even in the most menial capacity, doesn’t deserve to breathe. Kneecaps and crotch shots for the spectators, to make sure they couldn’t get away. Gut shots for the kid-wranglers. And Zsasz....it’s tempting to want to draw it out, but Jason can feel the desire leaving him the longer he thinks about it. His imaginative tortures fade into a simple headshot, and even that isn’t satisfying. Fuck. He just can’t seem to hold onto his rage lately, even when he wants to. It’s all being replaced by some kind of anxiety, some kind of tenderness that aches, burning deep into him every time Dani looks at him, or touches him. Every time he thinks of her. Every time he feels Dick watching him with her, all warmth and affection.

Colin bounces her a little, making her laugh. Jason feels his revenge fantasy slip away.

“What’re you reading her?” Colin nods to the book still laying open in Jason’s lap.

Jason looks at it. “Oh, Twelfth Night. Shakespeare,” he adds, recalling that Colin is eleven, and likely not perusing great literature in his free time. “Figure it’s never too early to start her on the classics.”

Colin grins. “That’s cool,” he says. “Does she like it?”

“Beats me,” Jason shrugs.

“Read some?”

Jason raises his eyebrows.

Colin flushes. “Um. I mean, if you want…”

He decides to humor him. What the hell. “Sure, why not. ‘O spirit of love! How quick and fresh art thou, that, notwithstanding in thy capacity, receiveth as the sea.’”

Dani yawns widely, relinquishing her fist in a long string of drool. Jason laughs, and so does Colin. “Maybe jumping the gun a little,” he admits. “I don’t really know what kids are into these days.”

“Me either,” Colin says. “I think she liked it, though. See, she’s just sleepy.”

Jason feels a lump forming in his throat, and swallows hard against it.

“What does it mean? The part you were reading,” Colin asks.

“Um.” Jason doesn’t really know, he’s not exactly a literary scholar, but he’s always liked to work Shakespeare out on his own, finding meaning in the wordplay and running the metaphors through his mind until they line up in a satisfactory way. He doesn’t know if his interpretation is correct, exactly, but: “So this Duke, a guy called Orsino, is saying that he doesn’t want to be in love anymore. He’s talking about love and how everyone thinks it’s this wonderful thing, but the truth is that it actually just makes people miserable.”

Jason pauses, feeling like he just showed way too much of his hand. “Basically, he’s just complaining,” he finishes, uneasy.

Glancing at Colin out of the corner of his eye, he’s relieved to see that he’s occupied with Dani, and not paying attention to Jason at all. Thank fuck. If it’d been anyone else in the house sitting there, he’d be in for some horrible armchair psychology session, and he’d have to book it out the window and not return for several months.

“I think she wants you,” Colin says, as Dani ramps up her fussing. Jason takes her gratefully, holds her to his chest as she rubs her eyes and grumbles her displeasure at being passed around.

“All right, I hear you,” Jason murmurs, gently tugging her fists away from her eyes. “Don’t be so dramatic, come on. It’s not so bad.” Like he’s one to talk.

And my desires, like fell and cruel hounds, ever since pursue me, he thinks, rocking her tiny body into a comfortable position. Colin was only holding her for ten, maybe fifteen minutes, and Jason was sitting less than five feet away, but he missed her. God, what is happening to him?

“Damian didn’t want to bring her here, at first,” Colin says quietly. “But I think he’s glad that we did. He really likes her, you know.”

Jason doesn’t quite know how to feel about that. It’s sweet, on some level. And he’s well aware that Damian likes her, going by the amount of time he spends hovering in the hallway outside Jason’s room, not to mention the increasingly expensive toys that keep showing up among her things.

He looks down at her, dozing off. “Well, she’s pretty easy to like.”

Colin nods, looking pleased.

“Damian, on the other hand....”

Colin grins. “He’s not so bad.”

He’s really not. Like hell Jason will ever tell him that, though. “You have bizarre taste, kid.”

Colin blushes, hard, and Jason blinks. Well. That’s interesting, isn’t it? Or it will be, in a few years. He makes a note to ask Dick about it, later.

“Are you gonna adopt her?” Colin asks, bringing Jason’s amused thoughts to a screeching halt.

Automatically, he says, “No way.”

Colin looks wounded. “Why not?”

“Because I can’t,” Jason replies. “I’m the last person who should be a parent, trust me.”

“Doesn’t look that way to me.”

Doesn’t feel that way either - the thought floats up, unbidden, uninvited. He can’t. “She deserves better,” Jason says, heavily. “Even if….even I could handle it. She deserves better than this family.”

“But your family is - ”

“A death sentence.” He’s being harsh, but if Colin’s gonna be hanging around, he’ll find out for himself soon enough. “It’s fucking cursed, look. I couldn’t do that to any kid, especially her. You should get out too, while you still can.”

Colin looks angry, which surprises him. His hands are balled into fists, and Jason sees a tremor in them, a bulging that immediately sets off alarm bells in his head.

“Kid,” he says sharply. “Colin. If you’re gonna hulk out, take it outside. Alfred will have an honest-to-God stroke if you do it in here.”

A few deep breaths later, Colin looks normal again. “Sorry.” His voice is hoarse. “You’re wrong, though.”

Jason’s temper flares. “No offense, but I think I would know better than you,” he snaps. Dani grumbles sleepily in his arms, and he sighs out in frustration. “Trust me, okay? She’s better off. It never ends well, not in this family. I’m proof of that.”

But Colin shakes his head. “You don’t know,” he says. “My mom said the same thing, when she dropped me off at the orphanage. She gave the nuns a letter - she said I’d be better off with them than with her.”

Jason stills.

“It didn’t matter,” Colin continues. “Scarecrow still got me. Victor Zsasz still got me. Maybe they would have gotten me with her, too. Maybe I wouldn’t have been that much better off with her, but at least I would’ve been with her.” He sniffles, and Jason holds Dani a little tighter.

“I know she loved me.” His voice cracks. “I just wish...I wish I could’ve stayed with her. I wish she would have known that I never would’ve been better off away from her.”

He looks absolutely miserable, pitched forward and rubbing hard at his eyes. Jason is reminded painfully of how young Colin is, closer to Dani’s age than his own. He remembers being Colin’s age and younger, thinking the same thoughts about his own mother. How fiercely he’d guarded her, chased away the cops and the social workers, doing everything in his power not to be separated from her. Not that it mattered, in the end.

“Fuck,” he mutters. “Colin, I’m sorry. For the record, I actually kind of get where you’re coming from.”

Colin looks up at him.

“Wish I didn’t, but. That’s life.”

“You should adopt her,” Colin says again, softly.

Jason shakes his head. “Colin…”

“You’ll think about it.”

He exhales. “Sure, I’ll think about it.” Like he’ll be able to think about anything else after this.

“She needs you,” Colin insists stubbornly.

Jason doesn’t reply. He knows on some level Colin is right - Dani does need him right now. She needs someone, at least, someone who can take care of her and protect her. Someone who isn’t afraid to shed blood to keep her safe. Jason doesn’t relish the thought, but he’s certain this won’t end tidily. Mob cases never do. It’ll be messy, and bloody, and Bruce will have a shit fit, and Dick probably will too, and Jason will go back to Crime Alley and Dani will get shipped off to Witness Protection or something, and damn, does that hurt to think about.

He looks over at Colin, still hunched over on himself, vulnerability written into every line of his posture. He’s desperately in need of a hug, or some kind of affection, validation, maybe. Or that’s just Jason projecting, who the fuck knows. If Dick was here, he would know exactly what to do for him. Jason’s at a loss, unable to separate his young self from the damaged kid sitting next to him.

He adjusts his hold on Dani carefully, laying her down flat along his arm, while he works out what to say. Finally, he settles on, “Damian’s lucky to have you.”

Colin sits up a little straighter. He looks like he’s waiting for more, but he’s shit out of luck, because Jason has no idea what else he needs to hear. No idea what he could say that wouldn’t be completely insincere, anyways. We can be your family, Colin. Like hell. Bruce has enough kids lined up waiting to die for him, he’s not about to encourage another one to be turned into cannon fodder for the man’s principles.

“Uh, yeah,” Jason says, after a moment. “That’s all I got.”

Colin smiles wanly. “Thanks, anyways.”

Jason snorts. “Sure.”

“Can I hug you?”

Jason stares. “Can you…what? Me?”

“I won’t if you don’t want me to,” Colin adds, averting his eyes.

Jason can’t even remember the last time someone hugged him. He thinks Roy might’ve, some eight or nine months ago, after they’d narrowly survived a warehouse explosion. Jason’s whole body had been ringing from the blast, so he doesn’t exactly remember the sensation of it. And before that…?

He imagines Dick’s reaction, if he was here. He’d be disappointed in Jason, that’s for sure. Really, Jay? You can’t hug a child? It’s a fair argument, he has to admit. Jason’s fucked up personal space issues don’t really apply to children, or babies, clearly. Colin’s obviously attention-starved, and Jason’s already holding one kid. What’s another, really.

“Okay,” he relents. “Hit me.”

There’s a shuffling motion next to him, and then Colin is hugging his free arm, leaning his head against Jason’s shoulder. Jason can’t quite contain his surprise - it’s weird, as expected, but it’s not dramatically increasing his desire to bolt through the nearest exit like he’d thought it would. It’s a little funny, actually. He’s pretty sure both Bruce and Damian would lose their shit if they could see him right now. Dick, too, most likely, but to his credit, it would be a happy kind of shit-losing. Damian would probably try to gut him.

Are there cameras in the library? Jason can’t remember. He kind of hopes there aren’t, because if anyone else sees this, he will absolutely never live it down.

***

(dick)

“Wait, I think that’s him.” Dick leans forward to peer at Tim’s screen. He points to the familiar looking figure. “That guy. Do you have a clearer shot?”

Tim skips a few photos ahead, and zooms in. “Him?”

“Yes. That’s the guy. Jason said he recognized him from your surveillance files. He was at the club the night we caught Susie Falcone.”

“The fourth night, was it?” Tim asks, innocently.

“Don’t be mean, Timmy.”

“Just clarifying,” Tim grins. Dick raises an eyebrow. “Okay, okay. I don’t have a ton of intel on this guy, he’s really slippery. According to my informant, he goes by Tiberius - some kind of mercenary, Greek or Albanian national. I doubt that’s his real name.”

Dick nods, studying the photographs. Tim continues, “He came over with Intergang as an enforcer, I think. Might’ve been Reynolds’ personal bodyguard.”

“Could explain how Reynolds got taken out,” Dick says thoughtfully. “He’s on the Falcones’ payroll now, but he’s not family. Might be an easy target.”

Tim opens his mouth, about to reply, when there’s a choked-off sound of fury from the Batcave below them.

“Was that Damian? He’s up already?” Dick asks, glancing down towards Bruce’s computer. He hops over the ramp to see what the fuss is about. Tim follows close behind.

“Everything okay?” Dick asks, approaching the wall of screens. There’s nothing that jumps out at him as being particularly alarming; Bruce is looking at DNA analyses, and Damian is looking at the Manor surveillance, tapping furiously at his ear.

“Todd!” he hisses. “What do you think you’re doing? Colin is my friend!”

“Robin,” Oracle’s voice comes through the speaker. “No names on the comms. And Hood isn’t wearing his earpiece, so you’ll have to tell him in person.” She sounds amused. “Oracle out.”

Damian swears.

“Holy shit,” Tim says faintly. “Look at them.”

The screen that all the Manor surveillance feeds run to is showing just one room - the library, of all places, but Dick vaguely recalls it being some kind of sanctuary to Jason, years and years ago. It makes sense that he’d end up back there, and it makes sense that he’d have Dani with him. What Dick doesn’t expect to see is little Colin Wilkes, all five feet and change of him, snuggled up to Jason’s side and hugging him, wrapped around his arm like a gangly koala. Dick can’t help but notice that Jason’s bicep is about as big around as Colin’s head, which is certainly...something. He’s not quite ready to classify how he feels about that, so he refocuses on the hug itself, which is nothing short of charming.

Damian grinds his teeth audibly. “It’s still going.”

“Oh, man.” Dick can’t help the grin he feels creeping up the sides of his face. “Bruce, are you seeing this?”

“I am,” Bruce says, stiffly. He looks like he’s in pain. Dick fights the urge to roll his eyes.

“What’s wrong with you? Look how sweet they are!” he exclaims, gesturing. It’s adorable.

“It is not sweet,” Damian snarls, whirling on him. “Todd is a corruptive influence, and Colin is young and impressionable! Where is your concern for him?”

Tim coughs, and it sounds a little bit like “jealous”. Surprisingly, this does not diffuse Damian’s indignation.

“I don’t get it,” Dick says, stepping between them quickly to block Damian’s spinning kick. “I thought you and Jason were fine, Damian. You’ve been spending enough time in our - in his room lately. Where’s this coming from?”

“Incredibly, I don’t feel as concerned about Todd recruiting an infant onto the path of lawlessness,” Damian retorts. “Colin lacks paternal guidance in his life, as you know. Todd clearly senses it.”

“Jason is very paternal these days,” Tim agrees.

“I’m pretty sure it’s just a hug,” Dick says in exasperation. “No one’s recruiting anyone, Damian. And look, it’s over. Your friend is just a hugger, that’s all.”

“I must agree with Master Richard,” Alfred says from behind them. “Having been the recipient of many such embraces from young Master Colin myself.”

“See? I’ve gotten hugs from him too,” Dick tells Damian. “And I know you have, so don’t bother denying it. He’s probably gearing up the courage to get one from Bruce one of these days.”

Bruce looks slightly alarmed by the prospect. “He is?”

Damian looks conflicted. “He is?”

Dick casts his eyes heavenward. “Colin, I’m so sorry.”

Before he can say anything else, the Cave door opens below them, and Duke’s bike comes shooting in, whipping around into its parking spot in a move that would send Dick flying over the handlebars. Bruce takes about half a second to look impressed, and then clears the main screen to pull up their intel on the Falcone case.

“What’s up, guys,” Duke calls, pulling off his helmet and jogging up the steps. “I’ve got news. Where’s Jason?”

“Being hugged, in the library,” Dick tells him. “You just missed it.”

Duke looks nonplussed. “Damn. Wait, that’s not some kind of weird euphemism, is it? If it is, I don’t want to know.”

“It most certainly is not,” Damian says venomously.

“Cool. I tried to get him on the comm, but he didn’t respond. Should I go get him? He’ll want to hear this.”

“Damian will get him,” Bruce says.

Damian is…already on the elevator. Dick spares a thought for Jason. At least he’s holding Dani, so Damian won’t attack him outright.

“Your news?” Bruce prompts.

“Right,” Duke nods. “I’ve been all over City Hall records, and spent yesterday afternoon getting intel in the East End. I’ve got names and faces of most of the major players in this. They’re trying hard to front some distant nephew of Carmine Falcone as the head of the whole operation, but it wasn’t quite adding up. You said the new Falcone boss is a woman, right?” he asks Tim.

Tim nods affirmatively.

Duke looks triumphant. “Then I know who she is.”

***

#jaydick #in which there is so much plot all to justify the existence of 1 baby #low key this fic is my maternal love letter to colin wilkes #i miss him dc bring him back #my fics #heartlandverse

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bittykimmy13 · 3 years

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I’ve got a bunch! 1,3,6,11,29,34!! For Lore and Andres, and Xander and Grayson❤️😳🥰

AWW HELL YEAH LET'S MCFUCKING GOOOOO

Putting this one under the cut because it's a lot and I LOVE IT :D

1. What, specifically, was the catalyst for their physical attraction (if applicable) to the other character? In other words, what in particular had them like “Oh, they’re...hot...”

Andres and Lore: Lore thought Andres was attractive right off the bat, but in a scary way. Once it became clear he wasn't interested in messing with trinkets, that made him far more attractive and mysterious. Since trinkets are made to my conventionally attractive, Andres was very aware of her beauty, but he doesn't have much interest in that until he sees how cute she is strolling around the chess board 👀

Xander and Grayson: Grayson was physically attracted to Xander the moment he saw him, that's just the way it goes 😊 But it was more like in the sense of seeing a very attractive, untouchable celebrity. Xander never expected to fall for a print, so it took more time for him to really look at Grayson in that way. Xander does like to invade Grayon's personal space, and I imagine seeing Grayson buried in his work with a cute concentrating frown on his face is what did it.

~~~

3. By contrast, what was the moment that first made their ~heart~ Soft for the other person? Not necessarily a conscious realization of “I love this person,” but a moment that had them like “Oh...I adore them...”

Andres and Lore: For Lore, I think it would be during Andres' second visit to the hotel. The fact that he asks for her specifically makes her begin to see him in a different way. Sure, he tries to argue that he just wants to have a worthy chess opponent, but Lore can sense there's genuine care buried somewhere beneath. For Andres, his thoughts take a while to catch up with his actions. He doesn't realize that he adores her until the night before he steals her from the hotel. He realizes what he's willing to do to keep her safe--put himself at steep risk of being turned into a trinket too.

Xander and Grayson: As far as Xander’s feelings, it’s pretty gradual. Grayson can be a stammering mess around him, and over time, Xander finds it endearing (though on the outside, he’ll either be aloof or tease him mercilessly, no in-between). Grayson doesn’t find himself really soft for him until Xander makes the first move in doing something nice (i.e. standing up for Grayson, giving him comfort food, etc)

~~~

6. How do they react to the realization that they like the other character? Is it an “oh my god I’m never going to think about this again” thing, or are they pretty comfortable with it?

Andres and Lore: Andres wants to nope tf out right away (and he almost does). But by then, he’s too attached and would feel too guilty leaving her behind. Lore takes longer to really confront the idea that she likes him. She initially thinks it’s some silly fantasy that’ll never come to fruition. Boy, is she wrong lmao.

Xander and Grayson: Grayson is pissed at himself when he realizes it because he’s sure it’ll be unrequited. Besides that, he’s in a sinking relationship when he catches feelings for Xander, making things even messier. Plus, Xander can be selfish when it comes to protecting himself, and being romantic with a print would mean trouble.

((EVERYONE IS IN LOVE AND NO ONE IS HAPPY ABOUT IT))

~~~

11. What fears, past traumas, etc. would be hardest for them to talk about with their partner?

Andres and Lore: Lore has deep-rooted trauma from her days at the hotel. Even when she’s safely living with Andres, there are days she wakes up and doesn’t know where she is for a moment, leading to mild panic. She has trouble sharing the details of how she was treated. On top of that, there’s the trauma of seeing her friend brutally killed in front of her, then getting blamed for it. She does open up, but it’s rough.

Xander and Grayson: It’s hard for Grayson talk about his days as a human. He’s buried those thoughts deeply, and he tends to clam up if Xander ever tries to ask questions that are beyond surface level.

~~~

29. What compromises are they making in their relationship?

Andres and Lore: Sadly, they have to get comfortable with the fact that they can never have a public relationship. Lore is essentially stuck living in hiding and can’t travel. It’s not really something she fights, but Andres can tell she feels trapped from time to time. On a lighter note, a big compromise is that Lore has to learn Spanish lmao.

Xander and Grayson: Their relationship is a slow burn for sure, but once they finally get there, Xander needs to be conscious of his decisions regarding prints and trinkets. He’s been known to drag his feet when it comes to actively helping them, and Grayson’s view on that is basically “get with it or get out of the fucking way” but that point.

~~~

34. Under what circumstances would they feel protective?

Andres and Lore: Andres has shown his fiercely protective side when it comes to people putting their hands on Lore and using her. He’s made it clear that he wants to keep his own safety in check, but he clearly start pushing the boundaries for her sake in The Candescent King. Once he’s rescued her, he’s quietly protective in making sure that she’s eating enough, sleeping well, etc.

Xander and Grayson: Once Xander consciously cares about Grayson, he’s willing to step in if other humans are messing with him. In a short I wrote recently, Xander also shows his protective side over Grayson’s emotional wellbeing by bringing him comfort food (and trying to act all cool about it lol). For the other way around, as much as Grayson wants Xander to step it up when it comes to helping prints/trinkets, he understands the danger and risks that come with it. Even if he wouldn’t stop Xander from doing drastic things to help the cause, Grayson would sure as hell do everything he can to make sure he’s prepared and safe as possible.

~~~

Send me questions for character couples! 😊

#this was so fun!!!#thank u so much for the questions #many hearts 2 u

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nellie-elizabeth · 4 years

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Grey's Anatomy: Leave A Light On (16x16)

Okay so what the hell went down between Justin Chambers and the show-runners, that this had to go down this way? Wow.

Cons:

So yeah, I'm not happy about this. Izzie? Seriously? Listen, I can appreciate that they were backed into a corner because Chambers left so abruptly. Was that even his voice in the voice-over, or just a sound-alike? I'm not entirely sure. But come on. If you'll indulge me for a moment, here's how I would have re-worked this:

After being thoroughly ghosted, Jo receives a letter or voicemail from Alex explaining that he talked to Izzie, found out he has two five-year-old kids, and flew to Kansas to meet them. He intended to come back and talk to her about it, but he got swept up. He wants her to come to Kansas, to move there so they can be closer to Alex's kids. Jo is understandably furious that Alex just up and left without talking to her, and demands to know why Izzie and the kids can't move to Seattle, then? Why should they have to disrupt their lives/careers? But Alex is insistent. Izzie and the kids have a good set-up, he doesn't want to ask them to move. Jo, hurt and confused, decides that for the sake of her marriage, she at least has to go over there to talk to Alex in person. So Jo leaves, and for the next two or three episodes, she's gone while we follow other characters' stories. Then, abruptly, Jo comes back. She shows up on Meredith's doorstep and hands her a letter. Turns out, Alex isn't coming back.

We find out, partially through Alex's letters to Meredith, Bailey, and Richard, and partially through Jo explaining things to Link over drinks, what happened. Jo went there, and saw how happy Alex was with the kids. She wanted to imagine her life there with him, but she couldn't. She kept trying to talk to him about making a joint decision for their future, but it occurred to her pretty early on that Alex wasn't willing to compromise. He had already made his choice. He chose his kids. Jo realizes something else, too. Even if they can't see it, Alex and Izzie are already acting like a couple - seamlessly co-parenting and making compromises and accommodations for each other. Heartbroken, Jo realizes that it's not just the kids that Alex has fallen in love with. She decides to go back to Seattle. She hopes Alex will come back for her, will figure out a solution, but she knows in her heart of hearts that it's over.

Life moves on, and eventually we learn from Jo that she and Alex have been talking on the phone, and that Alex is sending over divorce papers. The future of Alex and Izzie's relationship is left uncertain - we know that Jo thought there was something between them, but maybe they just stay friends and parent their kids together without getting back together. Who knows.

And... curtain call. Justin Chambers can come back to play Alex in cameo roles in future, and while Jo and Meredith et. al have every right to be furious with him for taking off and lying to his wife about where he was, we no longer have this bullshit scenario where Alex cheated on his wife and instantly fell back into something with Izzie without even trying to make his relationship with Jo work while still having a relationship with his kids.

It wouldn't be the perfect solution, but by god would it be better than what we were given here.

If I can just break down a couple of the ways Alex's character has been assassinated by this decision? We already had Alex deal with the Izzie drama. There wasn't any unresolved tension there. He got his closure. He loved Jo. For the show to manufacture this idea that all along, Alex was looking for an excuse to get in touch with her, is such obvious bullshit. He straight-up told Jo he didn't need to call Izzie, didn't want to. We saw that in a flashback during this episode. And yet we're supposed to believe that's all bullshit? Come on.

Also, there's that heartbreaking scene at the end where Zola wants to show Uncle Alex her science project, and Meredith has to explain that basically the only remaining male authority figure in Zola's life, the man who wanted to have family breakfasts with Meredith and her kids every week, has up and left without saying goodbye, and with no intent to ever come back and visit. Alex's letter talks about how he has kids, and how he loves them so much, and how he hopes someday Meredith will come to meet them and they will call her Aunt Meredith. With absolutely no irony. Alex, you have Zola and Bailey and Ellis. And I know this show tends to forget about the kids a lot of the time, but still. Alex's whole thing is how he's this screw-up with a heart of gold, and one of the main ways of illustrating that is through showing his behavior around children. He abandoned Meredith's kids. He straight up abandoned them, and it sucks.

I liked a lot of the bits and pieces from some of the letters, to be honest, but Alex's letter to Jo was mostly just a slap in the face. He loves her, and tells her straight-up that if it was a matter of Jo vs. Izzie, he'd pick Jo. But because of the kids, he wants to stick with Izzie. And his rationale here is that he and Jo both know what it's like to grow up in these broken homes without stable parents. Bull. Shit. If they had gone with my scenario above, I could forgive this. Of course Alex wants to be around his kids that he just found out about. And I could even understand not wanting to move them to Seattle. But to just decide, right off the bat, that he has to abandon his marriage in order to make that work? That is not the Alex Karev I have watched grow and develop over sixteen seasons. All of his language, about how Jo is so great, how she deserves better, how Alex loves her... gross. And he has the audacity to thank her for "fixing" him and helping to make him a better person. Gross gross gross. This should have been different. This should have been this messy thing, where Jo and Alex try to make it work, but it falls apart gradually over time. They could have given us that, and not turned Alex into an utter dickhead.

And then there's the Izzie of it all. Say what you will about her character, about the way she left Alex... she's still supposed to be a human being. She was still a character that we followed for many years, that we saw through heartbreak and triumph. And her voice here is completely erased. She didn't contact Alex when she used frozen embryos to create his children. That's a little bit unforgivable all on its own. But she had her reasons, and then one day Alex calls her out of the blue, and suddenly she's like - yes, come move here and live with me and leave your wife and be a father? What does she think about all this? Does her opinion here hold no weight? This sucks and I hate it!

I feel like I could go on and on. But I do want to include a "pros" section here, and talk about some aspects of this that I didn't downright despise.

Pros:

I don't mind that they did the flash-back clip show thing. If Justin Chambers couldn't be here, it was the best they could do. And it was fun/infuriating to see Alex's character over the years, to see his romances with Izzie and Jo, to see his friendship with Mer, the mentorship and trust that grew up between him and Bailey, and him and Richard. It was a smart move to narrow the focus on just the characters that matter in the long-run to him. The episode wasn't cluttered with Maggie, Amelia, Owen, Teddy, etc. and their nonsense, or any of the other secondary characters. Their stories will have room elsewhere. This was for Alex, and I did appreciate that.

Here's something I will say: I don't hate the outcome of this ending for Alex. The thought of him being there for his kids is absolutely beautiful. I actually started crying a few times during the letters, especially the one to Meredith. He's describing how when he first met his kids, they pulled him immediately into their room and wanted to show them all their toys. And he's so awed and honored that he gets to provide stability and comfort to these two people, when he himself grew up without that. So did Izzie. So did Jo. The episode did a good job of acknowledging that, and of setting up why the idea of Alex having a stable life with a good career and kids to dote on, is the proper ending for his character. The endgame is on point. The path to get there is where I have serious, serious issues (see above).

I also liked how they managed to tie Alex's ending in to the existing story-lines with both Richard and Miranda. We'll doubtless see Jo (and possibly Meredith) dealing with this in a more direct way as the weeks go by. But for the two people who mentored Alex, who raised him, we see how much he affected them, and how much they truly cared for him. For Richard, there's a sense of betrayal. At a meeting, he talks about how much being a surgeon and being a teacher has meant to him. And he can't understand Alex giving up everything he's worked for, all for the sake of a woman and his kids. But on the flip side? He didn't get to know Maggie growing up, and he can't honestly begrudge him his decision. I liked the complexity of his reaction here, how he can understand, and still be angry.

Bailey, meanwhile, thinks about all of the struggles Alex went through, and how much dumb luck was involved in him turning in to the person he is today. He was a smart, capable young man who could easily have been lost to the world, wandering and aimless. Even though he ended up happy and successful, it isn't right that he had to work so hard to achieve that, without support. She wants to offer stability to Joey. Ben is in agreement - I like that Bailey's decision to take Joey in didn't start a whole avalanche of drama between the two of them. They've been through enough. I also really appreciated them talking about their communication issues. Both of them have the problem of hiding big, important things from one another. Bailey's heart-attack, Ben's career change, and now Bailey's decision to adopt Joey. But they are both all in, ready for whatever craziness comes their way. And now Joey is a part of their family, which I quite enjoy!

So that's... that. Jo deserves so much better. And Alex deserves so much better. Hell, Izzie deserves better. Without Justin Chambers, there was no satisfying way to end this character's run on the show. Even with him, it would have been difficult to pull this off. But this final result? Ugh. It does such a disservice to one of the most brilliantly developed characters on this show's entire long run. I'm pretty sad about it, to be honest.

4/10

#review #grey's anatomy #grey's anatomy review #greys anatomy #greys anatomy review #grey's abc #greys abc

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waywardnerd67 · 5 years

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Study Group

Title: Study Group Square Filled: College AU Pairing: Sam x Reader x Castiel Characters: Sam Winchester, Castiel, Dean Winchester, Reader Warnings: Fluff/Smut Summary: Sam, Cas and (Y/N) are all studying for finals and she decides to make it more interesting. Word Count: 2233 Created for: @spnkinkbingo

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(Y/N) smacked her forehead down against her Statistics textbook. Her brain felt as if it would explode and her eyes were barely staying open. “I can’t… I can’t study anymore.” She muttered.

“Yes, you can (Y/N).” the soothe, calming voice of Sam Winchester filled her ears.

She rolled her head towards his voice narrowing her eyes at him, “Sam my brain is going to start oozing from my ears at any given minute. I need a break, we all need a break.”

Sam’s hazel eyes rolled as he sat back in his chair. They were all at his parents house for the weekend while their apartment building was being bug bombed. His parents were away on a mini vacation to Sioux Falls to their family cabin. His older brother had come home with them from college but was managing their family’s mechanic shop for the week. Leaving her, Sam and their friend, Cas alone in the house to study.

“I think (Y/N) is right. A break to relax our minds would be beneficial for us all.” Cas said closing his psych book.

Sam sighed giving them both his best bitch face before closing his criminal law book. “Fine. Now what?” Silence fell among them as time seem to pass in slow motion. “Okay, well that was fun can I go back to studying?”

He flipped open his textbook again taking out his notes when suddenly (Y/N) had an idea pop into her head. “Strip studying.”

“What?” Sam and Cas said at the same time.

(Y/N) smiled at them, “Strip studying. We each take a turn asking the other two questions from what they are studying. If you get the answer wrong, then you have to strip off one piece of clothing and if you get it right then you stay full dressed.”

“Sounds like fun actually.” Cas said picking up his psych book.

Sam had an uneasy look on his face, “I don’t know…”

“Come on, it will help you study and be fun. A compromise and I promise if I see your dangly parts I will keep my comments to myself. Please Sammy?” she stuck her bottom lip out and batted her eyes at him.

(Y/N) and Sam had been circling around each other for a year flirting with one another. They had kissed a few times during a frat party or once on New Year’s. She knew he was focused on his studies and never pushed the subject any further.

“Alright.” He whispered as she clapped excited leaning over to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you. Okay boys let’s play.” She said pulling out her Chem book deciding that it would be easier to quiz her on that than her Statistics work.

After an hour, Cas was down to his boxers and one sock. (Y/N) had on only her bra and panties. While Sam still had his boxers, t-shirt and one sock on. Sam pulled her Chem book from her searching for a question to ask. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Cas’s intense blue eyes trailing the length of her body.

Cas had extremely striking features from his dark chocolate hair to his sharp jawline and muscular body. Seeing him now, she could see what a lot of her friends chased after him. (Y/N) had never thought of Cas in that way until now seeing him practically naked.

“What is Angular Momentum Quantum Number?” Sam asked bringing her attention back from Cas.

She was trying to thinking but the only thing running through her mind was how Cas’s large hand would feel against her breast. “Um… gives the orientation of the orbital in space?” she answered.

A small smirk appeared on Sam’s lips as he shook his head, “Sorry that is Magnetic Quantum Number.”

“Shit…” she mumbled reaching behind her to unhook her bra letting it slip down her arms. The cool air hit her nipple bringing them to a peak and two different sounding groans had her eyes darting from the two guys next to her.

Both of their eyes were on her. Cas was biting his lower lip and trying to cover the obvious bulge from within his boxers. Sam was staring with his jaw slacked slightly then his tongue darted out over his lips. Any self conscious thoughts she had flew out the window as well as any thoughts of studying further. Right now, all she wanted was for her two hot friends to have their way with her.

(Y/N) crawled over to Sam watching his eyes getting wider the closer she was getting. Straddling his lap, she could feel his hard length nestled perfect against her cotton covered mound. “See something you like Sammy?” she asked placing her hands on his shoulders and squeezing her breasts together.

“W-What?” he stammered his breathing a little erratic.

She looked back at Cas who had his palm over his cock stroking it through his boxers. Smiling she looked back at Sam, “Seems like Cas sees something he likes.” She purposely grinded her hips against Sam making him groan as she got up walking over to Cas.

“What do you say Cas? Should we keep studying or just have some fun?” (Y/N) asked her panty cover sex right at eye level with him.

“Fuck it, have some fun.” He said leaning forward and licking her through her panties.

(Y/N) let out a yelp as Cas’s hands slid up her ass pushing her aching mound further against his mouth. She tangled her fingers into his hair as he kept lapping over her panties. “Jesus Cas!” she moaned.

She was slightly startled when she felt a pair of lips kissing her shoulder. Looking up she saw Sam’s lust blown eyes as his long fingers slipped beneath either side of her panties and pulled them as his lips kissed their way down her back.

Sam pulled his shirt off quickly standing back up behind her as one hand snaked around her ribs groping her breast. She leaned back against him as Cas spread her legs wider his tongue pushing past her soaked lips licking her arousal from her. “Shit (Y/N), you’re so wet and you taste so sweet.” Cas murmured before diving in again.

“Oh… Cas…” she called out breathlessly as she felt Sam’s other hand graze over her ass and his fingers dipping between her legs. “Fuck!” she cried as he pushed one finger inside of her.

With one hand in Cas’s hair and the other wrapped behind Sam neck she clung to the men who was bringing her quickly over the edge. When Sam added a second long finger to her aching core, Cas was mercilessly flicking and sucking at her clit. (Y/N) could only cry out incoherent mutterings as her orgasm hit her like a tidal wave. “FUCK! CAS, SAM!”

She grinded herself against Cas’s face as he lapped up her release and whimpered as Sam pulled his fingers out. (Y/N) turned around to face Sam taking his fingers into her mouth and sucking them clean. “Damn…” he whispered as she smiled up at him.

(Y/N) pushed Sam towards the couch pulling his boxers down his long legs. She looked over to Cas who was still on the floor, but his hand was gripping his thick cock stroking it. “Come on Cas, I can take care of you as well.” She said motioning for him to come over.

Looking down at Sam, she leaned up towards him kissing him deeply as her hand circled around his long shaft. “After this we are going to go on a date, okay.” She said as he chuckled nodding.

“Absolut… shit!” he cried out as she sunk down onto him. (Y/N) let out the most satisfying moan as Sam filled and stretched her perfectly.

“Alright Cas c’mere.” She wiggled her finger at him as he walked over to the side of the couch. Her hand taking over for his feeling how smooth and big he was. Her mouth watered as she anticipated how heavy he was going to feel on her tongue.

Sam gripped her hips lifting her slightly and then thrusting up into her. “God Sam, just like that.” She said and looked up at Cas.

His blue eyes were dark like the midnight sky as he watch Sam fuck her. “You like watching don’t you?” she asked as he nodded. “Good, after the mouth service you provide me I am going to love returning the favor.”

(Y/N) leaned down giving Sam even more room pump into her and she wrapped her lips around Cas’s swollen head. Running her tongue around it she looked up nodding at him giving him the permission to use her mouth as he willed. He slowly pushed inch by inch into her mouth his shaft gliding against her tongue and then pulling back out.

“You feel so good.” He groaned as his head rolled back against his shoulders.

Both men were slowly fucking her driving her mad. She lifted her mouth off of Cas and brought herself down harshly on Sam. “Jesus!” he yelled.

“Boys I’m not a porcelain doll. For fuck’s sakes just FUCK ME!” she exaggerate.

There was a split second silent conversation between the two of them and then Cas placed his hand in her hair pulling her mouth down to his cock. At the same time, Sam held her hips slamming his cock into her repeatedly. Between the two of them she was dizzy with pleasure feeling her body could burst at any moment.

“Fuck, fuck, I’m so close (Y/N).” Cas grunted as he thrusted into her mouth. She pushed her mouth even further down his shaft relaxing her throat as much as she could while bouncing on Sam cock. Cas’s tip hit the back of her throat and he release was sliding down it as the gripped on her hair tighten. “Oh FUCK!”

He pulled out of her mouth and laid down on the floor next to the couch breathing heavily. That is when Sam sat up rolling her onto her back. He slammed into her making her cry out, “OH GOD SAM!”

He was so deep within her that he was hitting the one spot driving her closer to the edge. He held her legs at her knees spreading them wider the look of determination on his face while watching his cock disappear within her. She could feel he was close his body was rigid and that is when she saw Cas lean over her breasts taking one of her nipples in his mouth.

“Oh… Cas yes…” she moaned and then Sam brought his thumb roughly over her clit.

“Come with (Y/N), I’m can’t hold off much… longer.” He grunted.

Between Sam rubbing her clit, his cock deep within her and Cas nibbling, licking her nipple she came hard yelling out their names repeatedly. Sam quickly pulled out of her jerking himself off onto her stomach muttering her name.

Cas grabbed a few of the napkins from their lunch allowing Sam to clean her off before both guys collapsed from exhaustion. “Jesus guys if I knew studying would be this much fun I would done this at the end of last semester.”

Both guys chuckled and then they all heard the front door shut. “What the hell?” Dean’s stunned voice startled them all.

They were frozen like deers in headlights. Dean looked from them to their textbooks and back to them. He whistled lowly a wide smile spreading across his face, “Damn guys if I knew study groups were just another way of having a threesome I would study more often.”

“Dean, we can explain…” Sam started to say as he moved off of (Y/N).

Dean shielded his eyes from seeing his brother’s cock, “No need to explain Sammy, just get dressed and clean up so we can grab some dinner. That is unless you’ve already had your fill.” He laughed at his own joke and even (Y/N) chuckled earning a bitch face from Sam.

A few hours later as the four of them sat around eating pizza, Dean sat back chuckling and shaking his head, “I would have never dreamed of the three of you having sex in the living room. You three? You think you know someone…”

Sam, Cas and (Y/N) all looked to one another all wearing similar pink cheeks and satisfied smiles on their faces. “I mean, Sam and (Y/N) I get. It’s about damn time, but Cas… really?” Dean asked.

“I think love is a shared thing Dean. We can love and be attracted to multitudes of people in our lives. All people are beautiful. I would easily have a threesome with you and any girl of your choosing as well.” Dean spat out his beer as Sam and (Y/N) started laughing hysterically.

Dean mumbled something under his breath while shaking his head. As Cas chuckled taking a bit of his pizza. Sam entwined his fingers with (Y/N)’s leaning over and kissing her lips, “Tomorrow just the two of us are going out on a date and then somewhere private.”

She nodded smiling widely up at him, “Sounds good to me, Egghead.” She laughed seeing his annoyed expression from the nickname she gave him when they first meet on campus last year. Meeting the Winchesters and Cas had been the best thing in her life and she never wanted to let any of them go.

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