#INY Chapter Ninety Five

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 95

“Café ou thé?” Tony’s work around, his gentle hand, asking you in a wonderful purr of french- coffee or tea? The two of you had been working on your … traumas, and when phrased like this, there was no spike. No extra voice in your head. No remembering of the immense pain. Just the sound of his voice and a simple question. One you could answer without thinking too much. 

“Tea, please.” 

Though the vacation didn’t have an end date (and officially didn’t even have a start date, to be fair), you both knew it was coming to a close, soon. Which was fine. You couldn’t stay hidden from the world and all your responsibilities forever. Much as you would have liked to. 

When he came around the small table, interrupting your view of the forest and mountains beyond, you tipped your head up, accepting the press of his light kiss at your forehead as he settled a mug of freshly steeped tea in front of you. This was what your life was supposed to be. This was how you wanted to be. It just wasn’t meant to be. 

So you had to enjoy it now. And in between little touches of lips and snuggles, tea and coffee gone, you asked, “Can we go on a hike?” There was just so much scenery facing you since you’d gotten here. It seemed a waste to just look at it once and never actually enjoy it. 

“You going native on me?” 

A little joke, a short shared huff of laughter. And then on a hike the two of you went. 

It had just rained- a freezing sort, entering into December now. (Truly a very long lived- deserved vacation.) Maybe it hadn’t been the smartest idea. But you pulled him over one path, and he tugged you over the next. Birds were still singing here, somehow. Or maybe it was just your imagination. The thing that mattered was it smelled earthy, it felt good. Most of your life now was surrounded by screens and walls that trapped you. Just being able to look up into a massive lush sky…

It was as he’d moved to sit on a log, a few hours into such a freeing walk, that you stepped out over a ledge. Holding to yourself as you looked down. 

Something blew by you as you closed your eyes. And saw… just the two of you. No one around for miles. Except… 

You could have sworn you’d heard him speaking to you- something garbled and soft. Turning, arms folded, you gave him a curious look. “Did you say something?” 

He arched a brow. “You hearing things?” 

“Must have been the wind.”

                                                        ----

Since Tony had fulfilled your only ask by way of returning to nature for a handful of hours, before you were due to set off, he asked you to accompany him around Tokyo. You knew this would be a bad decision. There wasn’t anywhere the two of you could go that was that full of people that you wouldn’t be seen. 

Which is exactly what had ended up happening. More than once groups of people surrounded the two of you, asking for pictures and autographs. If Tony wasn’t acting like such a shutter-darling, soaking up all the attention (especially when asked to do the famous Iron Man pose), you might have had a problem with it. The longer it went on, the more suspicious you grew. Did Tony want to go out only to get seen? But the real reason for the outing became clear when he took you to a small shop, tucked away from all the screams and shouts, all the hustle and bustle. There he made light conversation with a very old shopkeeper by way of JARVIS for translation (Japanese not his strong suit without assistance, which was fine, you didn’t speak it at all). Once all was said and done he was presented with a very old but beautiful tea set, which the shopkeeper wrapped up so gently in pretty black and silver paper. 

Once Tony paid and had it under his arm, he turned to you with one of those softer smiles of appeal. “Mind if we hit DC on the way back?” Ah. 

So, very easily you let him know, “Of course not.” 

You had a floral arrangement prepped alongside a minimal yet somehow grandiose dinner, as per Tony’s instructions, and called ahead to the nursing home to have them clear a part of the cafeteria for you. The table was wonderfully set, quite cozy and almost… like a home. And the two of you stood, his arm around you a little tight- that small yet steady thrum of anxiousness and that sadness he tried to bury swirling about as a nurse helped Peggy in and sat her down. 

As she looked up at him, her hazy eyes lit up. “Oh- Tony- I didn’t know you were stopping by. I thought they were marching me out for some grand final moment in the courtyard.” Chuckling, truly delighted to see him. 

You let him go, standing back, so that he could give her one of those quick squeezes, a little peck on the cheek, and the low voiced, “It’s good to see you, Aunt Peggy.” 

“You’re as handsome as ever. Like your father- don’t tell him I said that. Getting into all sorts of trouble, I’ll bet.” Giving him a pat on the face, really looking at him as he sat down beside her. “How is Howard? And Maria? I feel like I don’t see them much anymore.” 

The painfulness hit you, like a sharp poke in the chest. “They’re fine. Hey- I got you something-” Trying to cut off the cyclical repetition of an aging mind. 

“Oh- you didn’t have to do that- and this dinner- that’s you, too, isn’t it. You’ll make the staff work too hard.” She took hold of the carefully handpicked present he’d brought from her. 

“That’s what we pay them for.” Sarcastic as ever in the face of it all. When he half turned to give you a look over the fact that you were sort of awkwardly just standing there, you moved to sit down. You’d spoken to this woman a few times now, a little more personally the first you’d ever met her, but… it never stopped being hard. 

And as soon as you got comfortable, she looked up at you. “Oh, hello. Who’s this? Don’t tell me you got another assistant.”

“Hi, ma’am-” You’d done this introduction more than once. It never stopped being difficult. 

Though she smiled, she looked at Tony. “What happened to Pepper? I always thought-” 

“Pep’s fine. Working hard, like always.” He gave her a little gentle touch at her arm. And then… just like the sparse times you’d done this before, he reintroduced you. You sat there, hoping the clouds would dissipate, but knowing they wouldn’t. “-my girlfriend.” 

“Girlfriend, goodness. When are you getting married?” Waving a hand at the both of you. 

At this he smiled. “For once, I don’t think that’s up to me.” 

She put her hand down over yours. “He’s a fine man. For the most part. If you can tolerate that mouth every now and again.” 

You couldn’t help your giggles. “Truer words have never been spoken.” 

“Hey, thanks.” He put his elbow on the table, and settled his chin in his upturned palm. 

“Oh- this is gorgeous- thank you-” Peggy had finally unwrapped her tea set. And yet, seemed a little more preoccupied with the conversation at hand. “I mean what I said, you know. And if he gives you trouble, send him here. I wasn’t afraid to put him in a corner when he was a boy, I’m not afraid to, now.” 

“Oh?” Wanting to hear all about that. 

“Yes- well. It takes a village to raise a child right- especially a boy- especially a boy like Tony.” And while said boy was about to try and cut this off, you felt the slip, and she put her hand on his arm next. “How are Howard and Maria? Are they coming? And Mr. Jarvis, and Ana… I feel like I haven’t seen them in a while.” 

Tony put a firm hand over hers, giving her a squeeze. “They’re alright, Peggy. Everyone’s okay.” 

“I love it when I get to see everyone… and Daniel- do you know… I think… I think my room has been empty for a long time…” 

There was a flutter of panic- first from Tony. “Dan’s okay, aunt Peggy. Everyone is okay. Hey- are you hungry? I think somebody actually went outside and shot this turkey, so we should probably-” Then from her. “Daniel- I think… I think my room is empty-” 

“Hey, look at me, okay?” It took all your fortitude to sit through this. As Tony placed a hand on her face, turned her to look at him. “Everything’s alright.” You weren’t sure what to do. Or, more importantly, if you should do something. But… watching the both of them struggle… 

You slipped. You went deep. And with that bright orange sky cast above you, you settled a hand on Peggy’s heart. Everything is okay. Everyone is okay. Imparting calm and a wash of ease. 

And when your vision cleared, you saw her smiling at Tony. Her trembling had stopped. They were talking about something, though the words were muffled. Underneath the table, you held your hands together tightly. “Dear?” But she called your attention forward, and you saw the both of them looking at you. “I’m g̴o̸i̶n̵g̴ ̸t̷o̵ ̷m̸a̸k̸e̵ ̵t̸e̸a̸. W̴̱̊ö̴͚̘́̿̂ͅu̵̢̾̈́̎l̸̲̇d̵̤̑ ̴͓̔ý̴̏̄ͅo̸̯͝ū̷̫̯̳ ̵̟̇́̔l̶̩̝͊ī̵͜k̶͖̕e̸̩͋͝ ̴̱̦̩̏̀́s̴͚̏̈́̓ǫ̶͇͒̌m̷̢̙͉͗̔̏ḛ̷̺̀?̴͚͉̔̓͑?̸?” It came out in dark static. That accent-

You swallowed hard. And held yourself steady through the rise of urgent panic. Tony was dealing with enough. And who knew- if you spiraled, you could potentially kill Peggy. 

“Yes- that would be… that would be nice…” Be strong. Be strong… 

                                                       ----

Once outside the facility, Tony took your hand in a grip that threatened to crush your bones. But you let him. Because it grounded you. It wasn’t until the two of you were back on the jet, still hand in hand, your gaze out the window, that he finally spoke- “Thank you. For everything you just did back there.” 

You found yourself nodding mindlessly. “Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry. I should have realized- I should have thought-” About to apologize for the monumental gaff of accidentally inviting you to tea time with his sick aunt. 

“Hey… who is Ana?” But now you were the one cutting off a wave of panic, with the undertow of heavy guilt. Because. Honestly. Right now? You just couldn’t handle it. “Ana was Jarvis’ wife.” 

Along with Howard and Maria… Tony’s life had been laid bare. A string of accidents and tragedies had left him alone for a very long time. A continual cycle until it had just been him in a big house with a familiar voice… his hand had clutched to yours so hard, so suddenly, probably thinking the same thing. Visiting the one face that had been such an integral part of his growing up, yet was doomed to not be able to grasp the losses they’d all suffered. 

The people who had raised him. All gone now. That was the way life was, wasn’t it? But the other man she’d been the most concerned about… it seemed fairly obvious. You put a hand over his to try and ease the grip he had on you. He apologized when he realized, by way of lifting your hand to press a kiss to the back.

In the silence you dared to ask. Just to get the whole picture. Finally.

“Who is Daniel?”

“Dan was Peggy’s husband.” 

“Oh.” 

You wondered briefly if Steve knew about that, considering… 

                                                       ----

Really none of your business. But- as if you’d invited more storm into your house- the minute that you and Tony had gotten back, the man in question was practically waiting to pounce. Your elevator had only just exited on the top floor, you had only just stepped out, gone into the kitchen for a glass of water with Tony- and then the telltale ding hit the floor, and the two of you stepped around the bend to see him standing there. 

Tony, speaking with a mouth half full of stale cookie (that had been sitting on the counter in a box since you’d left), “You okay, buddy? You look like you ran all the way up the stairs- but- I seem to remember hearing our private elevator just open…” Making no effort to show that he was getting annoyed with all the unannounced visits to what was basically your home. 

There was little hiding the frustration leaking off of him. He shook a weak gesture Tony’s way before pointing your way. “Can I talk to you, please?” Then, also not hiding the look he gave Tony before his eyes came back to you, “-in private?” 

“Oh, good.” Tony answered first, turning back around. “I don’t have to be part of whatever this is. Squabbles over the toilet seat being left up I imagine.” Pressing a little kiss to your temple before departing. There was a quiet message between the two of you here. No secrets, and it had been that way for a long time. So he trusted you to go talk to Steve and deal with whatever this was. And trusted you to talk to him about it if it was serious. And not just over petty living squabbles. 

And with the way Steve was looking at you… “Sure. In the living room okay?” 

“Somewhere more private. If you don’t mind.” 

“Oh.” Although you and Tony had been gone for a month, sure, you had hoped they’d be able to handle themselves. But as usual, the literal second vacation was over, it was back to stress and nonsense. “Sure. Let’s go to my office downstairs.” 

“Thank you.” Curt with just as sharp a nod. 

Holding back a sigh (and practically all your nerves), you stepped in line with him by his side as you called the elevator back. And then got in. And then… waited in terribly strained silence while it descended. Upon opening onto one of the Stark Industries floors, you got out first, and waved off all the people trying to hand you things and ask for stuff. Opening the door to your office, you allowed him in first, and then closed the door behind you. 

As if even this was not enough, after looking around (like he’d never been in here before, which was certainly not the case), he gave you a look. “Nothing we talk about leaves this room, right?” 

He wasn’t just asking to speak to you in confidence. And, understanding that, “LUNA, nothing comes in or goes out for the next twenty minutes.” 

She answered fairly quickly, “Yes, ma’am. All channels blocked. Nothing leaves this space.” 

You gestured for him to sit down on the long couch backed up against the wall, and you sat on the plush chair in front of your desk facing him. “Okay. So. What’s the matter?” 

He sat forward, hands clasped together. “What do you know about the Zodiac weapon?” 

Unable to help the curious turn of your head, a few blinks- a little pause for thought- as that didn’t sound familiar but… you had to think about it to make sure. And when you were, “I don’t know what that is. Is it something serious?” 

“It’s a biological weapon.” 

Oh. That was something extremely serious. “Do we have orders to go get it?” 

“No need. SHIELD already has it.” The look he was leveling your way was icy. It put you in your place for a moment. It wasn’t just frustration now. It was pretty white-hot anger. “Swear to me you don’t know anything about it.” 

It felt very much like he was accusing you of something, and it was hard not to immediately get defensive. “I swear, Steve. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Giving this room to breathe, keeping your eyes on his. You weren’t sure what was going on (although you could guess), but if he distrusted you, it was going to be one step in a long fall downhill. That much you understood. “What’s going on? Should I be worried?” 

He stared at you for a few seconds longer before his eyes closed for a moment as he dropped his head in a shake. “No more so than you and Tony usually are. I know it feels like a long time ago but… I feel stupid for giving the two of you grief back on the helicarrier. Even knowing what we found out then… it just never ends.” 

“...Steve?” Really not knowing what to do with that. He was talking about before New York got attacked? 

He looked up at you again, gaze softer, but no less serious. “I think you should step away from SHIELD, effective immediately.” He was trying to protect you from something. But… 

It was starting to get on your nerves. He was refusing to tell you what this was all about. “Why?” 

“You know why.” 

Asking you plainly to put the pieces together, so I don’t have to tell you. But that wasn’t really working for you. And when your dead-eyed stare yielded no results… “JARVIS.” 

“Yes, ma’am.” 

“Tap the SHIELD grid. Get me everything we have on- what did you say?- the weapon Zodiac-” 

Steve put a hand up. “Don’t do that-” 

“These files are encrypted ma’am. Level 8 access or higher.” 

A small silence came over the room. You were looking at Steve. Steve was looking at you. And then you made your next move, “Give me clearance.” And by that you meant- just go in there and take what I need. 

“Yes, ma’am. Allow me a moment, please.” 

Steve stood up suddenly, hands tight at his sides. “This isn’t necessary. Look- I’m just asking you to stay out of their business for the time being. I went out on a mission for them and came back with something I didn’t like.” 

You stared up at him, crossing one leg over the other, putting your hands on your knee. “I don’t play games with half of the pieces. You should know me better than that. You wanna tell me what’s going on?” 

“Just listen to me-” 

“I would if you’d say anything.” 

“Ma’am.” JARVIS stopped your bickering. “Mr. Stark now has the files.” 

And at that you really bristled. “I didn’t say send them to Tony, JARVIS-” 

The door to your office opened, and in walked, wouldn’t you know it- “Yeah, well. Mr. Stark doesn’t like being kept in the dark. Also- you have your own programs, why’re you ordering JARVIS around?” Tony, with a tablet in hand, scrolling over whatever it was JARVIS had unearthed. 

“That way if he gets caught I can blame it on you.” Joking, of course, but you smiled oh so sweetly up at him. 

JARVIS spoke above you, “I never get caught.” 

Tony came to a stop in front of your chair and turned the tablet your way, handing it down to you. Although his eye roll was directed skyward. “Oh please.” 

Steve was getting upset. “Alright, I’ve had just about enough of this- I was trying to do you a favor-” 

You tried to tune him out, but when that wasn’t working, you just started reading aloud. As you did, Tony turned towards Steve, arms folded, narrowing his eyes. “The weapon known as Zodiac was recovered by Agent Margaret Carter in New York City, from a small band of movers, destination unknown. Agent Carter disobeyed direct agency orders to carry out the mission alone.” Reading this part purposefully, as it dampened Steve’s fire and quieted him. Perhaps a terrible thing to do but… 

Taking a breath, you continued. “Zodiac is an incredibly powerful and incredibly dangerous weapon, capable of destroying an entire city. Compound list… ingredients…” Skimming through stuff you didn’t understand. “Zodiac listed on record as destroyed effective April 1951- under authorization of Howard Stark and Agent Carter... Moved to bunker facility for further…” 

Feeling like you just couldn’t finish the rest of it. What was the point? It was clear what was going on. When you looked up from the tablet, you caught Steve and Tony just looking at one another. ...as always… haunted by ghosts of a past they could not change. Yet it seemed like every time they encountered them, it was all entangled. 

As per his silent request earlier, to kill the maddening silence in the room, you put the pieces together. “Someone stole it from SHIELD. And they told you to go get it.” 

Steve looked away. “Not just me. Rumlow and Nat. Both of them knew the truth about the whole thing.” Shit. Rumlow you really couldn’t have cared less about. A STRIKE team lackey. But… Natasha getting on Steve’s bad side was bad for everyone. He finally looked your way again after a deep breath. “They’re trying to justify it as a security measure. That by putting it on record as destroyed, no one would come looking for it.” 

Tony scoffed. “Yeah. Why not just actually destroy it?” Bitterness dripping off him. You reached a hand up to sooth over his leg. He stopped holding to himself so tightly, but he was still incredibly annoyed. “This is SHIELD’s MO. You can’t tell me you’re surprised.” 

Why not destroy it? Because maybe they’d have use for something that could level a city. Some day. Yeah. That was the SHIELD you knew.

And at this? Steve shook his head. “Not surprised anymore just…” 

“Disillusioned.” You finished for him. It was always one step forward ten steps back with them. At what point was it going to stop? “So what do you wanna do about it?” You could bring it to Fury. Get yelled at for digging around. And… then what? Probably nothing. But you didn’t want to just leave Steve hanging. 

He shook his head again. “Nothing. I just want you to stay out of their way for a while. ...they wanted you on the mission. It was a good thing you were gone. Both of you.” Redirecting his gaze to Tony. Something softer. Like he’d been thinking about this. A lot. “What would have happened if we’d lost control? You think SHIELD would admit they were at fault?” 

Tony’s head tipped forward, a curve of his brow in what was definitely the most dryly sarcastic look he could muster. “What are we doing here? Playing least-likely-scenario? SHIELD will admit they’re wrong about anything the day you do.” 

“Hey, I’m not above admitting my mistakes.” Putting his hands up. “Just before you walked in I was saying-” 

“It doesn’t matter.” You put a stop to the both of them. Because it really just didn’t. Tony poking at Steve’s supposed righteousness wasn’t going to help. Even if it was somehow in a fond manner. “Look- I work for SHIELD, same as you do. If I stop taking Fury’s calls about that kind of stuff, he might get suspicious.” 

Tony shrugged. “Let him. When he decides to show face, I’ll let him know about the extensive life insurance policy we have out, and in the event of a negligent death on their end-” 

Finally you stood, rubbing a hand between his shoulder blades. “Okay. Alright. We’re not going there.” He was getting just a little worked up. “Also I thought they wouldn’t provide payout considering our lifestyle.” 

He half grinned at you. “Not for both.” 

“Wait- so which one of us has one?” Confused now. He was probably joking either way but- 

Steve cleared his throat. “Look- I actually have somewhere I need to be. Can I just get a little resolution here?” 

Looking his way, Tony threw him another look. “What do you want us to say? We’re surprised SHIELD sent you on a mission they preordained with their secretive bumbling? Or that-” 

“I just want her to stay out of their field work for a while. Until I can get a better sense of who we’re working for. Who we trust.” 

“You and me both.” 

It was impossible to hold back your sigh. “I appreciate the both of you looking out for me. I’ll… try to keep extra busy. And put Fury’s calls through to voicemail. Okay? But… don’t start hammering at the walls here. And… go easy on Nat, alright? I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say she probably put in a scathing report.” 

“I’m not ready to call it quits. With anyone. Just… keeping an eye out. I promised to keep things clean between us. I meant it.” 

Whether or not what she did was right, Natasha worked for SHIELD. At a deeper level than the rest of you did. And had for a long time. And… as you understood it, owed them a lot. She was no fool, either. If this had been a stupidly dangerous mission, caused over foolishness and ineptness by SHIELD (especially by Fury), you were sure she had gone to Nick’s office and told him exactly how she’d felt. 

Tony shrugged, arms still folded. “Debrief right into a shredder, I’m imagining. Nothing in the world changes over word documents. Especially not that world.” 

Looking towards Steve you gave him a little nod. “Thank you. For telling me all this.” 

At that his brows lifted. “I didn’t.” Then he smiled. “But you’re welcome.”

Stepping closer to him, Tony held out his hand. And when Steve put his hand in Tony’s and gave him a firm shake. “Thanks, Captain.” They sized each other up respectfully, in that way the always seemed to, and then Steve turned to leave. When the door was closed, Tony stuck his hands in his pockets, looking at you. “What did he mean by that- keep things clean?” 

You recalled it easily. “When I was watching him at the Retreat- when we snuck out that one night-” 

“When I let you out, you mean, yes I remember.” 

“-a paparazzi snuck up on us. And I… mildly persuaded him to go back to his car and delete his footage. Steve kinda figured out what was going on, and thought I was put there to manipulate him.” 

Tony huffed out a laugh, coming closer. He put his arms around your shoulders, drawing you in. “As if you need the thing to manipulate anybody.” And when you arched a brow at him, hoping he wasn’t insinuating anything terrible, he just grinned. “All you have to do is bat those big eyelashes at somebody and they’ll work for you for free. Believe me. I’m a first hand witness.” 

“Excuse me.” You feigned offended, pressing your hands against his chest. “You better not be talking about what I think you’re talking about.” 

“Okay- well- in this instance- I put you to work for me- but I think it applies-” He leaned in, nose nuzzling against yours. 

It was a shame that he so easily drew giggles from you, but you attempted to stave him off. “I think you’ve been with me too long- is four years too long? You’re starting to view everything from a very romantic lens. And let’s not forget- you were fucking anything that moved for sport back then.” So. He was wrong, in this instance. He didn’t need to rewrite history. You loved him all the same. 

“Not you.” 

“You tried.” 

“Not hard enough.” Silencing your continued giggles as he leaned in, pressing his lips to yours. You indulged him, wrapping your arms around his neck, sinking in easily. You’d only just come back from a vacation all to yourselves, full of moments like this- like this, but no single one the same. Yet there was still always room for more. As he barely parted, his murmur caught you feeling flush. “I told you… it’s always been you.” 

“What’s gotten into you?” Not that you minded by any means. But… all things considered, you both had just been told something very serious. And here he was acting like he’d barely paid any attention, and all that had mattered was- 

“Not four years- do you realize we’ve known each other a decade?” He said these words in between kisses that were growing longer and longer in length. “I had a feeling- while we were gone but… I had to check my math…” 

“Ten years, really? Has it been that long? ...you’re sure?” 

“I’m always sure.” His smile pressed to yours. It was that  charming confidence, mixed with just this overwhelming feeling of adoration, of love, that really swept you away. The next kiss became the last, sealed in a perfect touch of parted lips. His arms pulling you that much closer to him, yours winding tighter around his neck, pressing yourself against him. It was just as your head was growing dizzy, the faint sound of a deep murmur in the back of his throat- 

Interrupted by the sound of your office door opening, and Pepper’s voice- “I tried to keep a giant workload off your desk but I need you to- oh!” The two of you broke apart, and while you, guilt and heat pooling in your cheeks alike, directed your gaze away-

Tony was looking at her rather vexed. “Excuse me- didn’t I teach you a long time ago that a closed door means knock?” 

“God- I’m- I’m sorry- also- you two have a whole floor upstairs to yourselves- there’s no reason to- in here? Really?” 

You forced your voice to work. “I’ll get right on whatever it is- can you just give us a minute?” 

She made a bunch of noise, none of which were actual words, until she found some at least. “Yes- fine- but only a minute. And you better not be doing that when I come back.” Very quickly she shut the door behind her. 

A sigh escaped you. “Back to work.” 

“Or we could take her suggestion and go upstairs.” 

Despite yourself, he poked yet another round of giggles out of you. Maybe it was just how lightheaded you were feeling. “I don’t think that’s what she was suggesting.” 

“I’m taking creative liberty here.” 

Reaching up to cup his cheek in your palm, you drew him down closer again, leaving a carefully sweet kiss on his lips. “Later. And… thanks for coming to my rescue.” It was no coincidence he’d come running down here after seeing you’d been accessing deep SHIELD files- after being toted off by Steve. It wasn’t because he thought you couldn’t handle it.

It was all too easy to see he’d literally rushed downstairs to check on you. Make sure things were okay. Or get you out of the situation if you needed out. “Always.” Murmured against your lips. 

Time enough for one last kiss. 

#Tony Stark #Tony Stark x Reader #INY Chapter Ninety Five