#I'm thinking about this dysfunctional and fictional family far too much and its hurting me

[dirtytransmasc]

let me make one thing clear; 

Otto and Viserys are the only one’s to blame for the Targaryen family’s actions and downfall. Otto is the only one to blame for anything any of the greens did, from making his daughter a child bride to what happened to Dyana. 

Otto ruined his daughter, made her untrusting and hungry for any control over anything. The damage he did to his daughter spread to her children, she abused them all emotionally and sometimes physically, filling them with the same fear and hate that ruined her life. She made Aegon her cover up and her scapegoat, while projecting onto her golden child Aemond, making him feel like he had to give up his wants and needs to be perfect for her and the family’s image. Helaena was betrothed to an angry manchild and forced to have his children that neither of them wanted (they were still her world, but not her choice, and because of it she had to raise them alone in the already lonely world she lived in because of her families many issues). On top of it all Otto abused Aegon and between that and Viserys’s own abuse and neglect, killed off the little boy who loved his family, nephews included. They made a boy who never really grew up and would rather drown himself in wine and ale then actually live through each and every day. They made a boy that felt the need to ruin his image to avoid a fate that was constantly forced on him, make a spectacle of himself to be seen as who he was and not what other’s wanted of him, and eventually a person who was capable of hurting that little girl. He would have been just fine with Nyra taking the thrown, letting him live free to do what he wanted; but instead he was constantly told that if he didn’t become king Rhaenyra would have him and his family executed, and it drove him to drink far to young, act out and receive punishmets that broke him, and he eventually became both a monster and a pawn. 

Viserys let his family be destroyed, let his children grow up without a father due to his favoritism, and never raised a finger to help any of them. He did the same to his brother, always expecting the worst of him, pushing him to do more and more in hopes that he would finally earn his brother love and respect. He ignored Rhaenyra’s wrongs and hurt people around the two of them instead of actually handling them, creating a world where Nyra would only know enemies (I love Nyra but she’s not innocent, and she always believed she could just get away with it, it put her and her children in constant danger, and Viserys never gave her that wake up call to tread a little lighter, to see that her image and reputation were not invincible). 

At the end of the day, none of them were truly to blame. They did what they had to to survive, even at the sacrifice of one another. They were all drowning, pushing each other under to get their own heads above the water, while Otto held his hand in front of Viserys’s eyes, the two stood safe and dry on land.

~~~ I have to put some of my ‘tags’ here cause tumblr keeps deleting them and I have more to say in the ‘rambling in the tags’ type of way and I’m about to fucking scream and cry because this is all too much right now. 

- Aegon deserved better, because if anyone had stepped in earlier in his life he would have had a chance. But instead he was left to the hands of his grandfather and he was turned into a monster. He was such a sweet kid and a gross teenager but thats what being a teenager is. He makes my heart hurt so badly, especially as an eldest child, I felt his pain. 

- Aemond he was the perfect golden child, he never lived for himself because he was too busy trying to please his mum and make her happy, she lived through him vicariously and he allowed it to see her smile. He was the people pleaser child, and because of all his repression he grew to be so angry all of the time, especially after he lost his eye. He was told that the anger would only stop when he got revenge and that idea ruled over his life, until it drove him to make a very stupid childish mistake that took his nephews life. traumatizing him and starting a war in the process. 

- Helaena deserved a life to be free and happy, not stuck in a palace of angry people that all thought she was weird or a nuisance. All she had were her kids and her bugs. Not even her own mother knew her enough to know not to touch her. The autistic daughter in me cries for her, like we weren’t even shown that much of her but that part of me just knows her life was rough in the way only a repressed autistic daughter would know. its such a special form of trauma and thinking about it makes me feel sick. 

- Daemon is so misunderstood by the majority of this fandom but one of the things that really pisses me off is that people fail to realize it was viserys neglect that was the reason for most of his actions. he tried so hard to get his brother attention, upping the anti every time viserys accepted the worst of him or made him feel like he wasn’t enough. he was just such a classic little brother. he just wanted his big brothers love and attention. he tried so hard to make his brother love him, he almost died and went mad, time and fucking time again to do it, and it was still never enough for him. 

- I love Nyra with all my heart, but she has sheltered favorite child syndrome. she does whatever she wanted, created problems for herself, and then questioned why the world and the people around her were so cruel. it was viserys’s fault for constantly covering for her, never letting her realized she wasn’t invincible, but people really need to start realizing that she needs to start shouldering some personal blame, it wasn’t always someone elses fault. she put herself and her children in danger and helped tear apart alicents life when she needed her most.  

- Alicent is a spitting image of my mother, and I want to hate her so badly because of it, but I can’t because I know its because she was hurt so badly. she was like a wounded animal, lashing out at anyone who got close to her because she was scared and hurting. she was hurt the worst by the few people she should have been able to trust and it made her weary of the world. she was so isolated and so spent, she was exausted from the years of being used by men with little to no her best interests, raising children alone, and just being afraid that everyone around her is also going to hurt and use her. but she was so alone, she had no one to fall back on, no one to turn to when she was ready to just give up. 

#House of the dragon #otto hightower #fuck otto hightower #king viserys #fuck viserys #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #daemon targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #someone needs to put me down #I'm thinking about this dysfunctional and fictional family far too much and its hurting me #beware I think you can max out tags now #that or my tumblr is glitching #I had to retype these like 3 times thinking I was having a saving issue #but I guess not cause it would delete all of the tags past the same point #anyway back to being sad #dirtytransmasc