#I'm telling you there's some kind of make you more creative drug inside each episode that does something to me

[inu-jiru]

How I Would’ve Written “Unhappy Campers”

Big shocker, I didn’t like the new episode, lol. However, I’m at the point where it’s no longer funny to rip these episodes apart. It’s more depressing because I can see the ideas for interesting stuff within the episodes, but the execution is so atrocious because the writing team need everything to be wacky and silly and horny 24/7. So rather than my usual rambling, I’m gonna explain how I would’ve written the episode if I were the one in charge of it.

- First, I’d change the initial scene as Blitzo going to the rehab center because they’re required to contact a family member when someone is being released. Him trying to track Barbie down and force an interaction is going against the whole point of Truth Seekers, and, again, makes him look like a selfish creep that I really can’t feel sorry for. Blitzo waiting for an invitation could show that he’s actually trying to respect boundaries more. He could be contacted at work and that could be the reason he sends Millie and Moxxie to handle IMP. (I know Loona was MIA in this episode because ofc she was but if I had to put her in, I’d have her go with Blitzo. I feel he’d want her to meet her “aunt” now that she’s sober.) Of course, they find out that Barbie isn’t there because she booked it, rather than following protocol and waiting to be picked up. This could make Loona curious as to why Barbie would not want Blitzo to get her and we could maybe get a few lines from Blitzo hinting at what happened between him and his sister. Blitzo fears that Barbie might get herself hurt or go back to the drugs, so this is his motivation for tracking her down.

- Moxxie and Millie’s plot starts the same with the mysterious drowning of the camper, but I would modify so that she’s killed by some strange, demon (Before this episode, my theory was that imps can’t give themselves disguises, and for the sake of consistency, I’m applying that theory to Barbie for this rewrite). This interests M&M because this implies that there could be another IMP taking jobs on Earth, or something else entirely. I’m scrapping all the nonsense crossdressing sing-songy shit because it’s pointless. Instead, Moxxie and Millie come to Earth in the dead of night and sneak around in the shadows while they investigate for suspicious activity. Conflict between M&M could appear when Millie grows impatient with the sneaking and waiting. She wants to rush in and start hacking away at anyone who vaguely fits the description they were given. Moxxie could start growing frustrated trying to wrangle Millie in, and maybe, in a moment of frustration, say that she’s acting like a child, or something else that might remind Millie of how much her family belittles her for being a glass cannon. Millie could storm off, and although Moxxie loves her, he welcomes having some time to himself so that he can focus. Millie, as she’s alone, stumbles across a scene where an imp is drowning another victim, and Millie feels that she can prove Moxxie wrong by rushing in and taking the imp down by herself. However, Barbie still has her agility from the circus, and is far too nimble for Millie to get a good hit in.

- We could cut back to Hell after Barbie’s attack with Blitzo deciding to cut his losses and asking for help. He begrudgingly visits Stolas in the hospital so that he can ask him to show Barbie’s location. Stolas tries to flirt and make things about their relationship, but Blitzo would brush him off once he gets the info he needs, further proving to Stolas that Blitzo does not want him (because I’m petty like that). They see Barbie and Millie in a heated battle. Blitzo, in a panic, asks for a portal so that he can help Millie, and he and Loona hurry to Earth.

- Moxxie, meanwhile, is having no progress, and the lack of Millie to keep him company is getting to him. He tries to be stubborn, as he’s certain that he wasn’t in the wrong during their fight, but perhaps seeing the synergy between campers (maybe he sees a couple by the fire having s’mores or talking to each other after their own off-screen scuffle) makes him realize that he needs to properly communicate with Millie if they’re going to work through their differences. He decides to go and find her, but ends up hearing the scuffle.

- Back with Barbie, she lashes out at Blitzo for looking for her, and it’s slowly revealed in their argument why she chose to run to Earth rather than let him help her (I don’t know what the canon reasoning is, probably something to do with the Circus, but that’s just speculation). Maybe the idea of staying in Hell was just so awful to Barbie that she decided she would rather live in self-exile on Earth rather than risk facing the past again. As for how she got to Earth, she could’ve asked a Succubus to let her through one of their portals (or simply snuck through after them). While the idea seemed good, at first, Barbie actually has no idea what she’s doing and how she’s going to start a life on Earth. She kills humans out of fear that she’ll be hunted down if word spreads about her existence. Blitzo tries to reach out to her again, but Barbie is still afraid of the past. The climax could go one of two ways: either Barbie is talked down into coming home and facing the past with her brother at her side, or, tragically, she forces IMP to kill her so that she doesn’t have to make a choice. I feel the former would be better because Blitzo and Barbie growing together in future episodes could be interesting. Actually, this could work as a final push that helps Millie to reconcile with Moxxie.

Anyway, I think that’s everything. It might not be perfect, but I feel like it does the job a lot better than whatever the fuck Adam wrote, lol. I could possibly steal some of these ideas for my own AU, but we’ll see.

#helluva spoilers #helluva boss critical #helluva boss rewrite #unhappy campers hb #long post #I'm telling you there's some kind of make you more creative drug inside each episode that does something to me