#I'm still hella agnostic

[themisfitsedge]

What do the tattoos on Hazeil say?

So! It took me a hot second to remember since Haziel was one of my first babies on this blog but their tattoos mean Good Fortune and Bad Fortune in Hebrew. The phrases harken to the fact that Haziel is a literal fortune teller, simple and to the point, but the reason for using Hebrew is a little more in depth.

The reason I chose Hebrew was a mixture of suggestions from an old friend who is Jewish after a conversation about gender identity and the questioning of everything in their faith. This conversation really hit home with me about how we as a society have come to perceive gender and how faith has been used as a tool to demonize people despite how often times their core teachings emphasized the opposite.

I could write an actual essay on how personally I can connect the Jewish faith with Haziel. But as someone who is still questioning my own upbringing and how I view spirituality and religion as a whole I found comfort through them and their own faith.

#I'm still hella agnostic #but I was a practicing christian back then #but gay #religion #haziel things

[landwriter]

currents 🌊

Tagged by @carnelianmeluha and @sleepsonfutons!

Current time: 9:29 PM

Current mood: bleary, pleased, vaguely optimistic

Current activity: am more soup* than person today so literally just been existing. (*and NOT a vichyssoise let me tell ya)

Currently thinking about: lesbians, beds, lesbian beds; the level of skill it takes to get a sinus headache in the middle of summer; having a late dinner through the sheer power of thinking about it very hard; cancelling enrollment in two summer classes that start tomorrow to work on Other Projects instead; needing to buy aerial straps still, do my biz bookkeeping, and put the blueberries and peonies in the ground; half-formed travel plans and road trips; baby shower gifts; maybe doing a shoot tomorrow morning &c. or: the usual dull roar of adhd <3<3<3

Current favourite character: hob gadling ofc

Current favourite song: v fave song agnostic but Lucius' Million Dollar Secret has been rotating in my head for months. could also do Blue Swede's Hooked on a Feeling at karaoke from memory rn

Currently reading: haven't started/bought it yet but need to read The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo for my book club with the girlies in (checks notes) less than 48 hours. will be hella currently reading that tomorrow probably haha oh god it's 400 pages ope

Currently watching: sorry for sounding insufferable but ~the night falling outside~ i'm sorry, i don't super do shows ahahah. need to watch bound (1996) though!! maybe as a treat if i make it thru this week

Current wips: secret big project, even more secret (non-fandom!) project, oaths coda once those two are done, then in no particular order: retired!dream thing about betraying bodies and queer sex, the 70s san francisco au aka lighthouses, the accidental actual lighthouse au ft gothic romance and monsterfucking, 80s noir thriller Just Like Love sequel

tagging, with no pressure at all: @moorishflower @fishfingersandscarves @softest-punk @broomsticks @historyandqueershenanigans & anyone who wants to give us a status update

#tag game #currently

[marisaonfilm]

i had such an epiphany yesterday and i felt the need to talk about it.

i'm a MASSIVE green day fan. i first discovered them when i was six years old, sitting in the back seat of my dad's car on the way to somewhere (don't know where, but i remember it being a long drive). my parents used to own this one CD that played religious music or something like that (context: i grew up in a catholic household but i consider myself agnostic now). good riddance (time of your life) by green day was the fourth track on that CD, and my parents used to play that song all the time. in the 90s, my parents listened to green day and thought that they should get my brother and i into them.

my parents used to play green day music all the time in the house on the radio in their room and around the house while cleaning and stuff. when i come around, holiday, brain stew, etc., those were the songs i heard so many times growing up. my parents obviously got me into other bands similar to green day as i got older, but i didn't really become a fan of them until i was ending 5th grade and starting 6th grade (so late 2015).

last year, when i was 17 (eleven years after i discovered green day), my parents took my brother and i to the hella mega tour, a concert in which green day performed, but with weezer and fall out boy touring as well. i had found out we got tickets to that concert while sitting in an italian restaurant in paris in january 2020, and i was so excited. obviously COVID had postponed the concert, and that was a bit of a shame, but i still waited and waited for august 1st, 2021.

green day was getting ready to perform their final song of the night, and behold, that song turned out to be good riddance (time of your life). i could remember hearing the opening guitar chords for that song and started to scream, the tears forming in my eyes. billie joe armstrong strummed that guitar like crazy as the crowd sang along at the top of their lungs. my mom walked over to me, giving me a big hug as we both began to cry. honestly, that was probably the best concert i've ever been to, and i left that arena in tears.

if six year old me was at that concert 12 and a half years ago, i don't even know what she would think. it's so insane how i discovered green day because of just one CD. i wish i go back and relive that concert again. so yeah, thanks mom and dad for getting me into green day because of that one CD.

#music #90s music #green day #billie joe armstrong #concert #rocknroll