#I'm spending a few days helping my friend paint a mural in the storefront she's opening

[bean-pronounced-bawn]

I've been studying for the MCAT for seven months. Since June. My exam was supposed to be today (8am Saturday morning). It got cancelled because of a winter storm. They didn't offer any replacement dates or anything, just said to reschedule. The next open date to take the MCAT is in May.

I am not kidding when I say I would rather slit my own throat with a butter knife than study for this exam for another four months. I am currently up at nearly 2am because I'm having a breakdown over the idea of studying for this exam for the next four months.

#i had everything planned out so nicely #my new job starts in two weeks #full-time forty hour weeks #i planned things with friends next week #I'm spending a few days helping my friend paint a mural in the storefront she's opening #I'm spending the night at a friend's house i haven't seen in months #I'm going out to coffee with friends from high school #ive been in the “final stretch” mindset since the start of this year #I've veen so anxious i was aick to my stomach most kf the past twk weeks #and now I'm nauseous at the thought of doing this for four more months #not knly this #but this while working a full tkme job #which i specifically avoided doing because I didn't want to try to do this while working a full time job #i spent thousands kn a stupid fucking study program so i wouldn't have to retake this stupid fucking test #so i can't just not take jt now #I've put so much goddamn time ans money into this #im gonna be fucking sick #im not kidding im gonna be fucking sick #anyway