#I'm not sure I can write that one well though. I'm not Vietnamese after all. I don't know anyone who is either though

[cerise-on-top]

Can I request Rudy (maybe AleRudy poly??? You decide lolz) x a female ( you can choose not to write this as I know you write mostly gender neutral) reader who proves The Whole toxic masculinity thing wrong as a strong (physically and mentally) independent woman? Like she is strong and can defend herself and she does things that most men thinks she can’t do? (Like carrying heavy things, etc.)

Thank you!!

Hello! This is more Rodolfo centric, which I hope you don't mind! But Alejandro is there too, of course :>

AleRudy with a Strong!Independent!Fem!S/O

Alejandro would have a field day with you, Rodolfo would still be a little bit concerned. Though, that is not to say he wouldn’t like it. I think you’d be a certain kind of awakening for him, especially if you’re pretty muscular too. Rodolfo would have never thought he’d find a muscular woman this hot, but here we are. Both Alejandro and Rodolfo would sometimes have conversations about you when you’re at work. Alejandro would know just how capable you are and would allow you to do just about anything, even if he would offer you his help. Nothing wrong with helping your lovely girlfriend lift some heavy things as it gets done a bit faster that way. Rodolfo wouldn’t believe you to be weak, not in the slightest. Especially not with your kind of personality and body, but he’d still insist on him doing some of the things at first, such as carrying heavy things or scaring away some sleazebags. He’ll tell you a little bit about how he views the world, how he’s supposed to be the one protecting you, but when you just laugh and tell him that you can handle yourself, he actually gets kind of embarrassed. At some point he’ll realize that yes, indeed you can handle yourself in just about any situation life throws at you, but that doesn’t mean he won’t voice his concerns. Picking him up is actually kind of fun, he’ll go completely quiet and hold onto your shoulders for dear life. At first he’d feel kind of bad, he’s the one who’s supposed to pick you up. But, as mentioned previously, you being this strong actually does things to him. It would take a while, but he’d come to trust you more and more with some things that he thought women shouldn’t really be doing. If you work a men dominated job too, then Rodolfo will just shut up, actually. You’re a mechanic? He doesn’t know jack shit about cars. You’re an IT-technician? Computers hate this man, he always needs help since some error comes up. Once the initial embarrassment is over, he won’t hesitate to come to you for help. It’s for the best you work on this since he has no clue what he’s doing in those fields anyway.

Alejandro is super chill with you being strong and independent. Sure, sometimes he’d love to just watch a scary movie with you and have you cling to him in fear, but you carrying those big tires is also pretty nice. He always thought he’d be more into a shy and timid girl, but you’re actually pretty nice too. He wouldn’t fuss over you as much as Rodolfo, he’d just let you do your thing. If you need help, he’ll help, but he won’t be overbearing. Besides, he could probably learn a lot of things from you. You’re an electrician? Awesome, amor! The GFCI just turned off again, could you do something about it? He’ll sometimes talk to Rodolfo about how he should put more trust into you. Just because you’re a girl doesn’t mean you can’t be a total badass and strong like them. Alejandro will also egg you on to pick Rodolfo up since he wants to see him flustered beyond comparison. He loves you both, but there’s just something so fun about a flustered Rodolfo.

#cod #cod x reader #alejandro vargas #alejandro vargas x reader #rodolfo parra #rodolfo parra x reader #alerudy x reader #among my eight requests are three for Rodolfo and one mentions him #he's been popular as of late. I've heard somewhere that he's getting more popular among the writers now. Good for him #not too long ago I read my old Discord messages and said that he has a pleasant voice #to be fair I can believe it even if I haven't heard his voice in months #he seems like the type to have a nice voice #ah before I forget #fem!reader #don't wanna get killed for accidentally forgetting to tag something properly #I don't really have much to say this time around. there's another request for ale and rudy in my inbox that I'll get to tomorrow #I'm not sure I can write that one well though. I'm not Vietnamese after all. I don't know anyone who is either though #I don't know very many people in general

[can-of-wyrms]

The Black Ops Narrative

This narrative is short, simple, and to the point. Because it's only one post, I'm just gonna paste the whole thing in, so we can analyze it that way. It's certainly... interesting.

"Until we found the village, we had suspected that the detectors were just props. Just toys given to us by the CIA guys to reassure us. Nobody trusted the spooks. 3 days through the jungle, and these detectors had not detected a fucking thing. But before we even saw the first hut, the needles on all the detectors started moving in unison. If they were phony toys, it was a cool little special effect. The needles swayed back and forth and all the little metal boxes let out this spooky "ooaaooaaaooo" sound all in unison, like a school choir. Very weird. We turned them off.

As instructed, we treated every vietnamese as combatants, and killed them all. There wasn't any resistance though. A few had weapons, but most were unarmed. None fought back. They didn't even run. They were just sitting around, lazing in the sun, and we shot them where we found them. Grim work. And very weird. That probably spooked us out more than the detectors. It was like they were waiting to die.

After clearing the village, we didn't know what to do. So we turned one of the detectors on and wandered around to see what was up. The detector started going nuts around one of the bigger huts in the middle of the village. We had already cleared it, but we went in again. There was a big altar inside, with candles and Buddhas and gold signs with dink writing and shit. We figured maybe one of the buddha statues was setting the detectors off, but no.

The hut was very hot and muggy. Even by the incredibly humid standards of Vietnam, it was incredibly, incredibly humid in there. Even the Buddha statues were sweating. Their faces were literally coated with drops of moisture. Everybody noticed that there was something weird going with the air. There was something off about the pressure. So we just tossed everything.Picked all the shit up and tossed it out of the hut. Sure enough, when we picked up the big platform that held the altar, there was something under it.

It was a pit made of flesh. Maybe five feet across and going down about twenty feet before curving out of sight. When I say, "made of flesh," I mean, it looked like the inside of somebody's throat. Wet, reddish flesh-looking stuff. We had heard of them building tunnels, but this was... We really couldn't even understand what we were looking at.

It was breathing. The flesh kinda rippled and this hot air came out, and it felt and smelled just like somebody breathing right on your face. Enough to make you sick.

They told us "we would know it when we saw it."

Well, we saw it, and we knowed it.

We radioed in the coordinates and got the fuck out of there."

In the complete story, this is post 13, just after post 12 which is part of the Investigator Narrative. There's not much of a connection between the two from what I can tell, but there could be something there.

As for the post itself, if you've read through my analysis of the Investigator Narrative, you know exactly what these soldiers found in that village. A flesh interface, albeit a small one. This harkens back to post 2 of the Investigator Narrative, which told us about this world's version of the strategic hamlet program. What's interesting is that despite the presence of an interface, there is no talk of segmentation or any of the other phenomena usually associated with interfaces. It could be that this interface is too small to have a dangerous incident zone, or perhaps the interface itself hadn't yet been finished. That's as much speculation as I think is reasonable here. It could also very well be a plot hole. My bet is on it being either unfinished or too small, though.

Thematically, we're taken again to the idea of war and violence, but this time specifically a very unjust violence. The soldiers we follow kill unarmed Vietnamese civilians, which I assume is some kind of war crime. This will come up again later.

Final Thoughts:

Ultimately, I decided to skip the information segment of this project for this narrative. Only two posts in and I'm already breaking format. Probably not a good sign. But anyways, I just felt like nothing really new was added, plus it's much shorter overall so any new info there is doesn't really need to be consolidated. Overall, the Black Ops Narrative is a quick peek into the mystery. It adds a bit of context and fleshes out the world, but that's about it. It's also a bit spooky, but far from the freakiest this story gets. ok bye.

Back to beginning

#media analysis #analysis #literary analysis #mother horse eyes #9m9h9e9 #MHE #unreality

[dog-day-morning]

THE TRUTH AND SHAKA ZULU WILL KILL YOU

In a once-popular commercial for Calgon detergent in the 1970s, a curious housewife probes the Chinese owner of the local laundry for the answer to one of the world’s eternal mysteries: “How do you get shirts so clean, Mr. Lee?” After peering over his shoulder (so as to be sure that his not-so-discreet wife isn’t standing near) the man turns back around, raises a finger to his lips and says through a smile, “Ancient Chinese secret!”

While the answer to the question posed to the laundry owner by the woman was a closely guarded secret — one that his sweet, no-nonsense wife happily ruined — it was neither ancient nor even Chinese in origin. But the TV spot famously tapped into one of the most enduring legends about the country whose Ming Dynasty rulers had a 16-to-26 foot wall built around it: the age-old traditions of secrecy.

And, like Vegas, what happened in China very often stayed in China, just get the hell out of Alkebulan!!! But if you insist on staying, you and your barbarian invader horde of Ghengis Khan, wannabe warlords can take that beatdown like Hirihito of Japan. You can indulge in Alkebulan's rich resources for a season or get on a junk boat and go back to China and rebuild your own country. If you stay in the Motherland you'll perish🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿🖕🏿. As the saying goes, s**t happens. Wash ya ass. Please, continue reading… my screwed up mind !!!

Take the Black Chinese [Moabites] who once made up the entire population of China prior to Esau's attempt at reclaiming the birthright God decreed would be Jacob's while in the womb through forced miscegenation "Raping of indigenous women." Do not be confused or mislead by this post. My research was sketchy to say the least. The portion of the population before China’s modern era does not register any indigenous Moabites, for example. The fact that you’ve never heard of them proves the point. Here comes the BS. But don’t worry. You’re not alone. China has some 1.3 billion people and nearly all are just as in the dark about them. Well, either that or a billion people all swore to never-ever-never air any [ahem] ‘clean laundry’ about black folks formerly having a place in China’s allegedly homogeneous society. That's a bunch of made up monkey s**t. Frankly, even an ancient culture with the bragging rights to the longest continually recorded history, another myth, is bound to miss a few things like a heart, and some effing genomes. The former presence — up until sometime in the 20th century — of Black people in pre-modern China is one of them. Fortunately, though, old photos taken throughout China around the advent of photography can help us to fill in today some of what the historians missed on purpose. I can't believe I'm posting this. 👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿👎🏿 China’s Qing Dynasty, established by the Manchu people who ruled from 1644–1912, is described as having been a vast multicultural empire. But it appears multicultural could also be a more pleasant euphemism for multiracial. You people are like dogs, stop eating them?! Nothing illustrates this better than the Black and white photos taken by visitors from Europe in the mid-to-late 1800s. Really?!! John Thomson, an Irish photographer was one of the first to capture images that reveal a surprisingly more diverse makeup of then-contemporary China. In one of the most stunning photos taken by Thomson displayed above, six women dine together in a courtyard. Captioned “Manchu ladies at a meal,” the picture was taken in 1869 in the city of Peking (now Beijing). Seated at the center of the photo are two women: on the right sits a typical high class Manchu and on the left sits a smiling Black woman — who could easily pass as the mother of the RZA, the GZA, Ol’ Dirty Bastard, or any other member of the Wu-Tang Clan.

Apart from the physical differences in the women (including the two who were likely seated, but stood for the picture), what’s also remarkable is that when Thomson writes about them, he makes no distinctions — though there were both racial and class differences; some of them were most assuredly attendants or maids. But in the view of Thomson, they were all simply Manchu ladies sharing a meal on a day when he sought interesting subjects to photograph. I saw the photographs. The darker ones were inherently claimed to be lower case workers or servants, while the ones who looked like Lucy Liu were considered affluent, and well off. These racial disparities that evolved from hell are a sad reminder to a wound that won't stop bleeding because of man's inability to stop giving in to his base emotions. I plead cray cray, and insanity. Jacob, they would rather burn in hell for an eternity than let us live in peace for a day. God is coming back for Israel not the Christian Church that has been corrupted by the Evangelical, right wing, nut jobs.

1 Maccabees 3:48

And laid open the book of the law, wherein the heathen had sought to paint the likeness of their images.

If you study history, and read the Bible, you'll see how religion has been used to divide God's people which they're not. Some gentiles will walk into New Jerusalem, the vast majority of them won't. The Bible has been tampered with by people who are shepherds for the Devil. The Catholic Church is Satanic no matter how you cut it. The cathedral of Notre Dame had gargoyles mounted atop the edifice looking over the city of Paris, France. Do you find this to be a bit of a double minded mentality or a slap of defiance in God's face. What god do you worship? We want to know the truth from God. This world can't be trusted with an anorexic T-Rex. You'd call it a crackhead and dump him in the Labrea tar pits unless it was a female, at that point you would attempt to crossbreed it with a Chihuahua, and hope to domesticate this new animal which has disaster written all over his I'm shaking cause I need a fix quick, petrified ass. When Vatican City is destroyed let that be a warning from God to those who still have a sliver of faith in God, get a relationship with Him. Jacob, this writing piece reveals their unwillingness, and froward hearted, lack of sensibility by not telling the whole truth. Instead they give us a revised version of history that wasn't. They have been our teachers for the last 500yrs when we were there's previous. Either you learn from your mistakes or continue to repeat them.

Zechariah 8:23

Thus saith the Lord of hosts; In those days it shall come to pass, that ten men shall take hold out of all languages of the nations, even shall take hold of the skirt of him that is a Jew, saying, We will go with you: for we have heard that God is with you.

If you hate being rebuked by a Black professor with a tenure ship, you'll hate being corrected by a Black child who has 5 degrees including a specialist in biochemical, ecological science, and psychology. You're ashamed because you're proud. There were great African kingdoms that educated the anglo European that's been shrouded in history. The book of Maccabees says the people who have mislead, and lied to us are as knowledgeable as a 13yr old using crib notes. I'm nuttier than a can of Planters, the truth is in you Jacob. Utilize the authority given to you. You will have to teach them as it was in the past. Everything from Bible scriptures, to aerospace, science engineering. The educational system is designed to hold back Black children, but the 3 people with the highest IQs in the world at the time was a 10yr old Black male, an 2 Black females under the age of 8. They were the youngest members of Mensa ever. This was about 4yrs ago. You can't stop God's anointing from glowing and glorifying Him and His people. Read the rest of this article and lose your mind. Its a nauseating and frustrating read. The truth will set you free. It ain't in these hood boogers

Written accounts by early Chinese historians tell us that the Tonkin region and its adjacent areas were once a hotbed of various non-Han Chinese peoples, including those from whom the Lao Cai girl descends. But with the southward advance of the Han Chinese, such groups were pushed even further south, or gradually assimilated into the dominant population. Historian Thant Myint-U writes in “Where China Meets India” that during the 9th century, the Chinese ethnographer Fan Cho compiled the Man Shu, or “Book of the Southern Barbarians.” Fan Cho describes there the varied peoples living in and around Yunnan. Included among them were the Wu-man or ‘Black southern barbarians,’ so-called for their dark complexions. And ironically, the French author of the Lao Cai photo had the image annotated with the Chinese word “Man,” and — sadly — with the Vietnamese “Xa” (or Kha), signifying servant or slave.

With this photo of a mother and her two children by John Thomson, taken on the streets of Peking (now Beijing), something finally clicked. For reasons that won’t be detailed here (as it would take far too long to explain) more than a decade of research into the peopling of Asia seemed to suggest that any black Chinese still living in the age of photography would likely all be found in southernmost China. Black Moabites still coexist in China to this day. This is a class study in you must be dumber than an incubator.

In his 1902 book The Boxer Uprising, American photographer James Ricalton includes this photo of several dozen men, many of them likely to be executed the next day for their part in the Boxer Rebellion. The latter was a bloody, anti-foreign and anti-Christian uprising that took place between 1899 and 1901; the 2006 Jet Li film Fearless was inspired by events that took place in the aftermath of the rebellion. The same is also true of the 1971 Bruce Lee film Fist of Fury. No actors in the aforementioned films — nor any other martial arts films set in pre-modern China — ever had actors resembling the non-Han Chinese mixed in above. About them, the racist Ricalton writes:

“This is truly a dusky and unattractive brood. One would scarcely expect to find natives of Borneo or the Fiji Islands more barbarous in appearance; and it is well known that a great proportion of the Boxer organization is of this sort; indeed, how dark-skinned, how ill-clad, how lacking in intelligence, how dull, morose, miserable and vicious they appear!” I'm willing to bet you 5 million in Bitcoin that I don't have, a lifetime supply of opium, and 2 happy ending massages daily that this bougie French bastard is rotting in hell praying to white Jesus that Rumiel won't screw him up the wahoo tonight. Tickle his sack!!! Like Thomas Cromwell the powers that be went to great lengths to cover this history in ChinaTown. You can't hide the truth from a people that's tired of being dictated to, oppressed, lied on, abused and persecuted by everybody, and discredited for the contributions they've made to this damnable planet. As previously stated we don't want crumbs [reparations] we want the whole planet Black before you, and the I hate n**gers brigade showed up, that includes Moo Goo Gai Pan. As soon as his Chicken fried, Bat Man eating, pancaked backside came along, and gained some freedoms, he started emulating his zaddy, he became drunk with xenophobia like the rest. If you hate my commentary tell ya boy Biden or his Amerikkka is not a racist country VP, Kamala Harris. She's next in line to preside as Pontius Pilate over this damnation unless Biden loses his dementia. Its a joke, think or buy a vowel. If that doesn't work, swap some Budha, and kiss Mr. Nasty bye bye.

[sohaveyoubeento-blog]

V is for Vietnamese & Vintage

Us three ladies had always played it pretty safe by way of our lunch dates. Not to say the local deli isn't absolutely kick ass - it's very tasty and very enjoyable every time we go, but in much the same way as I struggle to go to the same country more than once on my holidays (excluding India, you can never have enough India) I couldn't help but think that life's a bit too short to sit in the same eatery every time we meet for lunch, given that the whole day is ours, and within reason, travel is no issue.

The three of us decided that we would try different cuisines every week, and with the girls (Laura and Dani) living in the quieter, leafier suburbs of Otley and Burley in Wharfedale, with me (Alex) living in what I frequently describe as the bronx, 5 minutes from central Leeds but gloriously populated by some of the best food joints in the country (confirmed) they usually end up meeting at mine and then we go into town to try somewhere a bit off the beaten track. Invariably, being three mums of young children, we eat at the speed of rabid dogs and end up having a bit of time to go explore some local weird shop or two, never anything mainstream like a department store. Oh no. We like vintage shops. You know the type, they smell like damp and the inside of your nan's wardrobe, and we prance around pretending to overlook the fact that we are just in a well laid out, slightly more selective charity shop without the undertone of giving. Usually there's some blue haired student with a headscarf and a faint stench of Bobby Orange pawing through piles of shirts and jumpers that are deemed as retro, when they've actually some of them originated in C&A - we remember that place the first time round,depressingly. The whole vintage scene is a bit ironic and try hard and a bit sad at times, but the one thing that it does offer is the piece you are often looking at, generally is one of one only in the store. The same goes for charity shops, generally. We like stuff that can't be bought in bulk.

Dani owns Deluxe Blooms, and is a luxury faux florist, and very good at it too. Laura is a nail technician and spray tanning afficionado, and the owner of Maibella Nails and Tanning. I own a salon called Lexa Hair, and the three of us work together frequently. The ridiculous thing is though, that work is going really well for us, and while in the past we may have dug around in charity shops for a bargain simply to be economical, now it has begun more of a habit. And you know what they say, old habits die hard. We don't have to eat streetfood on picnic tables anymore, and we can shop anywhere we want, but at least just for me, I don't like extravagance and I'm not impressed by labels or price tags. I like pieces that are unique,with a story behind them. My two accomplices sort of get dragged in to it I think, but they seem on board with most of it. I hope.

And street food is the best food on earth, everyone knows that.

We kicked things off with a visit to a fairly new (maybe a year old I think) Vietnamese place on North Lane in Headingley named VietBaker. Inside it's very wooden looking, quite industrial and urban, stained wood everywhere and dark red leather chairs. It smells like the rice cooker that's chugging away in the corner, mixed with plenty of garlic and of course, the fresh baguettes that are stacked up in a glass cabinet above the front desk.

We opted for a sharing platter for £9, and from the menu us Yorkshire ruffians requested spring rolls (the deep fried ones, not the fresh, healthy ones obviously), prawn toast, and 'rustic chips'.

This was skin on chips with salt and pepper (well cooked and so tasty) and the prawn toast was understandably made of baguette slices. It made for a much heavier slab of prawn toast and therefore an even more unhealthy treat but man alive, was it good. The spring rolls were pork, prawn and the usual crispy vegetables inside. Not floppy or soggy, totally crispy and served with a really light and watery sweet chilli dip that's more sweet than chilli. It was all very lovely.

I've personally eaten from here a number of times and I think the Vietnamese have got it absolutely nailed when they make sandwich. Or a Ban Mih. Laura and I opted for one each, chicken for her and pork for me. Dani went for something off the new part of the menu, the fusion section, which even featured a take on beef bourgignon, Vietnamese style. She tried the Shanghai pork belly, served with rice. Her whole bowl was piled high, and we're not talking a polite, peanuts size bowl. More like a ‘free ceramic crunchy nut cereal box’ bowl, with the with tokens on the back of the pack, that you’d send off as a kid. It was huge. The second bowl was just plain rice, which worked really well as the pork alone was…. alot. It was sticky and tangy and rich and all those other wanky words that just mean amazing. I'm trying so hard to limit the wankiness. I like writing and eating, combining the two is hard work though. Bear with me. The slow cooked pork made me feel a bit gutted I went for a sandwich until I got stuck in.

Vietnam was a former French colony, and much like their neighbour Cambodia, found their local best offerings being bastardised to accomodate the 'local palate'. The nice version is that the baguette was the French's gift to the Vietnamese, although I imagine it was more a case of 'put your lovely meal in my baguette for me or you're in deep shit.'

I've never been to Vietnam but having visited Cambodge a few summers back, I remember being astounded at the gorgeous, light, dairy free Asian cuisine that had been shoved in a crusty, warm baguette. Whoever's story was true, it's the absolute bollocks.

They cut this freshly baked baguette open and spread it with patè on one side and on the other mayonnaise (already weird but hang in there) - add a ton of crispy green leaves, cucumber, pickles, coriander and fresh chilies, and add some meat into what little room is left. Enough meat to give you meat sweats. It. Is. Superb.

The pork was very finely sliced, dark and sticky again (here she goes) and you can bang on a fried egg, too, if you're an absolute wrong un. No thanks.

Laura had the chicken which was a milder flavour but none the less tasty and flavoursome. I noticed Laura pulling bits off her sandwich and delicately chewing away at them, while I picked it up and ate it like I'd been sleeping in the dark arches for the last month. I even had to be asked to wipe my face. Sorry, not sorry. No messing with a Ban Mih. Especially not this one.

The bill was a very respectable £11 a head, and they threw in a free set of spring rolls for us, which was a nice unexpected surprise. The place had a steady flow of traffic, and although wasn't packed, I've been on an evening and I think it's safe to assume that's the bulk of their trade. It was fantastic food, very reasonable and highly recommended. Great staff and great location. We'll be back!

Afterwards we drove for about 3 days to find a parking spot anywhere near Hyde Park, so we could check out the newly (ish) renovated (OK sign replaced and possibly ownership changed) Vintage something or other in Hyde Park.

I forget the name, and if I'm brutally honest I can see why. It's alright, but it used to be alot better. The last time I went in there was alot of very old apothecary style wooden drawer units, some weird taxidermy, and unusual pictures in frames that would look incredible in the lounge. This time there was quite a bit of formica, and some hideously orange stained TV units that I guess in some context would be deemed as cool again.

The music collection seemed to be where the most effort had been made. The clothing was actually quite 'quirky' in the sense that you wouldn't actually wear alot of it, there was a whole department that seemed to have been handed over by the owner of the late knob head Jimmy Saville, shell suit after shell suit in every colour of the rainbow, in that non breathable fabric you'd get a two man tent in. Hideous. Still, there are some absolute finds in there. I would encourage people to bear in mind that these shops have a high stock turnaround and in their uniqueness, and ability to replace items based on sales, any vintage shop can be a complete bag of shite one week and a total gold mine the next. Its the luck of the drawer, I love that about them. That and the fact that we call them vintage shops. The three of us refer to them as shit shops, but potato patato.

I find it depressing that as I mentioned before, alot of the 'retro' stuff is just normal stuff we, in our 30s, encountered in our youth. There was a 'vintage phone' that was £15 and I'm pretty sure my gran has it now. It's literally a BT £10 phone still in argos, but clearly it had lived with a heavy smoker, adding to the aged facade.

Some of it was very authentic, some of it was broken crap, but the general feel of the place is a good one. There is more 70s stuff than anything else which is quite cool, but like I say, stock changes very frequently. Dani bought an oversized T shirt with a University football team logo emblazoned across it, and to be honest I would have too. There was a vast array of university related large varsity based sweaters, some unnecessarily cut in half width ways (why?!!!! Serves no purpose now, you fools) and that's the kind of thing I would have liked to look at. But as I was in charge of a one year old who was bombing around the floor, doubling as a human sweeping brush and coming back with more dust on him than the inside of the V6 after the attic stairs have been tackled, I gave it up as a bad job and put my bank card back away. No spending for mum today. Gutted.

The shop is pretty fabulous, on the whole. They do know how to charge when it comes to furniture, but the clothing is far more reasonable. It's not all one off pieces, a couple of items make an appearance a few times and that kind of ruins it for me, I start picturing some huge factory in China making hideously outdated clothing and leaving them in a damp garage for a few years, chucking a bit of tea down them and wearing the cuffs and collars down, before exporting the newly knackered pieces to us dumbasses in our 'quirky vintage shops'. Who knows. It's well laid out, and pretty cool, and although not my favourite, I imagine the next time I go it'll be a whole different experience. Swings and roundabouts with these places. It was an interesting look, and if Parker hadn't been doing his best ferret impression I would have definitely bought a jumper. Well worth a look.

Until next week!

Laura, Dani and Alex X

VietBaker, Headingley

https://www.thevietbaker.co.uk

Vintage Boutique, Hyde Park

https://vintageboutique.com

[taesthetes]

(1/?) Travel anon-hi! Oo, good luck! You'll do great and get to bask in potato-ness again! You've convinced me! I'm gonna try to go on a road trip with some friends soon then! Hopefully sometime this summer c; Ah, besides texting people at night while alone, I do walk with my car keys between my fingers (my car keys come out like a switchblade lol?) so I completely understand late night paranoia. Traveling alone and texting people keeps them updated on my goings (and updates their wishlists x'D)

(2/?) I know, right?? Things are so much cheaper in Korea D: When I was there, I hit up a cafe nearly every half day, haha. Sesame drinks are usually hot, but they taste a lot like asian sesame sweets? Nutty, and sometimes pretty sugary (depending on the place that makes it), but the hot liquid with it is steamed milk :D And yes! Hot Apple Cider! Would you try a Sweet Potato Latte? Those are really good too~ Hot Rice Drinks are a little odd to me, but I have a friend who likes those

(3/?) Oh! Taiyaki! Technically the Japanese name for the fish pastry, but you can have those in Japan too! Some of them are filled with chocolate or custard or matcha custard there :D I know what you mean; whenever I saw an interesting snack, I lined up and chowed down, haha. Good thing walking burns off all those extra calories! I’m guilty of trying a bunch of specialty Haagen Dazs ice cream flavors unique to those countries too X’D You’ll definitely feel the same way once you hit up a dog cafe

(4/?) Do you have any dogs yourself? Or cats? Pets, in general? While it’s not jiggly cheesecake, I did like the molten cheese tarts from Pablo Cheesecake in Japan! The tarts are smaller, so it’s easier to portion per person than one whole cake, haha. Uncle Tetsu is a well-known brand for jiggly cheesecakes, if you see one! And oh, don’t worry, please! You’re not scary or anything! I’m super comfortable talking to you actually. I’m just really - shy? Sort of? Thank you for worrying about it tho!

(5/?) True! I didn’t travel during fall/winter until after I graduated ;D now it’s just my go to time, haha. I’ve never made it to Japan for Sakura season because of that ;u; but it’s really expensive then anyways. Maybe someday~ I’d love to take photos of that! Omg yes, leggings everyday, all day - and definitely like potato versatility! Oo, maybe when you have a day to yourself, you could go to a nearby art museum and set up like those students, yourself? It might not be like the museums in-

(6/?) -your travels, but it’ll still work just the same! Art is beautiful wherever you go :D Yup! Switzerland is the happiest place in the world, haha. Honestly, for the crane machine we played, there was 4 of us teaming up 1 machine and eyeballing which plushies would be the easiest to pick up. I’m pretty sure we were just really absurdly lucky that day (unfortunately for our bystanders)! Sometimes, if you’re very into the crane games and still fail, a nice passerby or staff might take pity on-

(7/?) -you and help you win it. That’s what happened to us sometimes XD Yes! Empty suitcase all the way! I pack the bare essentials, and stuff a suitcase in a suitcase for max space on the way back :D Dango is sooo good, I’m drooling at the memory of it right now. I miss it so much ;u; Oh! I’ve heard of that one! I’ve never been there before, but I do want to try it when I go back this year! A good udon branch I tried had a Naruto for the logo, and it’s a chainstore, so it’s everywhere!

(8/?) Any ramen joint is amaaazingggg. Seriously, I’ve tried a bunch of random ones that I just wandered and found, and they were all so good. Have you ever had omurice before? Or oden? Or thought of trying a traditional Japanese breakfast? Those are all good too! I’m sure you’ll hit up Japan again and manage to do all the things you want to do! Maybe you’ll be in Japan when there’s a festival where you’re at! Japan has a looot of festivals after all ;D

(9/9) Okay, this is really long now, wow. Thank you! The new one seems to be working so far :D I’ll see when I get previews of my pins! I watched Avengers today~ I want to say it was good, but that really depends on your viewpoint, haha. Will you watch it any time soon? The rest of my day was mostly spent cursing traffic and getting hyped over the new bts photos! How about you? You make my day too when you reply me (and so in depth)! Thank you for that :D Good luck with your studies 💖💖

hi, m’love! and thank you!! ahhh i’m so excited to be a potato this weekend :’) there’s also mother’s day though, so i have to wake up a little earlier than usual to buy some pretty flowers and maybe an orchid plant for her present. omg yes!! i hope you have lots of fun on the road trip! it’s honestly quite stress relieving and fun to just drive to wherever and enjoy the company of your friends. and same! i do that with my keys, plus i have pepper spray on my key chain, too. and i suppose having heavy textbooks in your bag helps in this instance because i can swing it around if i need to ahah. my friends are already updating their wishlists, too :’)

oh and! my parents decided to change the vacation dates today, and we’re going to be in asia even longer and i’ll be gone for almost all of august in japan and vietnam, so i can go to the concert?? but i don’t think i will because i already spent a lot of money for my t swift tickets and i’ll probably spend so much in japan and vietnam already haha because for me, i’d have to say plushies and good food > bts

i think inflation is pretty high in asia (with the exception of japan) in comparison to usa, so i’m glad things will be much cheaper! oooh, i hope i can go to a dog cafe every half day in japan aaskdjfas and i’ll have to try a sesame drink then! it sounds delicious. and yes! i’ll try the hot apple cider and sweet potato latte, too!   hot rice drinks sound interesting, so i want to try one, too :D

omg now i’ll definitely have to try every taiyaki filling available in japan. and oh my gosh, i didn’t realize how much walking people do in other countries until i realized i actually lost weight when i went on vacation in europe even though i had super rich foods everyday?? i guess usa food portions need to be downsized and i should start walking everywhere now. oooh, i do that with the lays chip flavors! they have unique flavors in different countries, too, and i always try them. i’ll have to look for the haagen dazs ice cream now. hold up, i need to write all of this in my notes on my phone. i don’t want to miss out on any good drinks and food!!

and i wish i did! i want a dog or cat so badly D: the only pet i ever had were fish. do you have any pets? molten cheese tarts sound like heaven, oh gosh, i need to write down these food places too! and oh good, that’s a relief!! i’m glad you’re comfortable talking to me :’)

ahhh i’ll just have to wait until after i graduate to travel more! i think it’s also cheaper during other seasons besides summer since that’s when students are free to travel, too, so hurray for saving money! omg photos of sakura season would be so beautiful. i hope you get to go during then one day!! i love leggings so much, like my goodness, they’re so comfortable. i wear them to bed and i don’t even have to change before i go to my morning classes the next day. 

there’s actually a museum on campus, but the thing is, a lot of the museums around here are more of modern art feel? like obscure abstract sculptures, minimalism, and a lot of photography. i really adore paintings and the older art styles, like renaissance, surrealism, photorealism, impressionism, etc. of course, all art is beautiful, but it’s more enjoyable for me personally to be drawing inspiration from realistic paintings.

ahah i’ll just ask my parents and sister to spot me while i play the crane machines then. hopefully, i’ll get one! wow, but passerby and staff help you win it? is everyone good at crane machines there?? i need them to teach me their ways, so i can stop losing money haha i’ll have to do that, too! hopefully, the suitcase fees aren’t too high.

sfljkhdafs dango sounds so good right about now. honestly, i saw that restaurant in nct life osaka and i love fishing and i love sushi, so i immediately thought, “i have to go there someday.” and the udon chain had a naruto logo on it? i’ll have to look it up, but i wrote it down in my notes! but now, i’m suddenly craving for ramen omg i’m just imagining it. and no, but i’ve seen so many videos of omurice! it looks really cool :o and is oden sort of like a hot pot? hot pot is always yummy, and my mom makes a vietnamese version of it often. oh gosh, i would love to try a traditional breakfast, but i usually don’t wake up early enough for breakfast ahah. and i hope so!! maybe one day, we can meet in japan :D

that’s good to hear! i’m glad the new manufacturer is working out so far. i don’t think i’ll be watching it soon since i’m pretty busy, but if you want to talk about it, i’m totally fine with that! and god, traffic is the worst D: but yes, the new bts photos are so beautiful aslkfjhalsd and i just went to my classes, did my homework and some studying, and watched tv with my roommates, nothing too exciting sadly. and thank you 💞💞 i hope you had a good day today!! also though, i just realized i don’t know who your bts bias is! who’s your favorite? :D and do you listen to any other kpop groups?

(and i just followed you on instagram!! your art is so beautiful oh my goodness, my eyes feel so blessed, i’m scrolling through all your posts and everything is so pretty i cry)

also, if it’s easier for you to message me on kkt and if you have an account and are comfortable with giving me your user, we can do that, too!!

#replies #anonymous #travel anon

[hamminnam]

So, my apologies about the teaser from before. I know that it is cruel to you who check this page every day to tell you it’s up and running again, then to post nothing. If you need that daily Hamm/Nam fix, find me on Instagram. I don’t know how, just do it.

So. Long story. Aren’t they all? If ‘Nam is involved there needs so much processing time and so much backsplaining (kids do say that these days, don’t they?) that every little quip seems to be a bit ‘extra’ (now, I’m sure the kids are saying that one). As mentioned, my return this time is like a birthday, so you might see this story as one of rebirth. You may recall the first beginning, where I detailed the steps of how I ended up being the freshest prince of a town called Thu Dau Mot (Binh Duong province, FYI). Well, this one is like that, but in a new location that is so twist-turned upside down it’s like the twiglight zone. If last time I was the prince, this time I’m the annoying neighbour moving in, trying to be like the cool family next door. This little urkel doesn’t have a phone the size of his head, and any random Vietnamese bells this time will not save me, only piss me off. (If this makes no sense, at least I am absolutely sure this resonates with all today’s cool kids).

Let’s discuss why this time I am not the cool new kid on the block (okay, I promise to stop). So, Binh Duong, where I moved to last time, was more or less your Surrey or Abbotsford or Airdrie or Ottawa of Vietnam. As in: boring, sheltered, sketch and dirty. But maybe more sheltered and less going on than these places. When I showed up, there were few English schools, and even fewer Westerners. The welcoming party was out of this world. If your appreciation as a foreigner in a town like TDM/BD is measured by the stares you get and the random ‘hellos’ you receive from people driving by on your bike, I was off the scale. At least once a week I was approached with a phone number of a Vietnamese woman, offered a teaching job (how did they know I wasn’t a French speaker – or did this even matter?), or invited to chug a beer or two. Binh Duong had me on its throne, and I was a good ruler: unwittingly volunteering as a special guest at competing language schools, accepting offers for a coffee date here and there, and obliging to a beer on occasion, even if it was 10 am. After time, however, it was time to move on. The abdication had to occur. I did feel I had left it in good hands though.

Then I returned. Binh Duong, you have changed my friend. What has become of you? Multiple English centres – in the same building – owned by yet another language centre, foreigners running amok, a 7D coffee shop. 7 freakin’ D! I didn’t know such a think was possible. Well, in today’s Binh Duong it is. True, upon returning to the local watering hole, I did receive casually warm welcomes, but I do think there is a bit of returnee-fatigue. “Oh, did you hear XYZ is back?”. “Really? I guess you can take Binh Duong out of the man, but you can’t take the man out of Binh Duong.” (Yes, that was an actual conversation. I swear.) To be fair, when I did venture away from the main areas, there was still some sketch, and still some excitement from my presence. I got a great response from a group of old ladies when I sat down at a table next to them. No phone numbers though. Still, Binh Duong isn’t the place where I’d like to stay. Nor was it the place where I had intended to.

My whole plan in returning this time was to go to a little place called Assspen. Ooops. Typo. To go to a town called Da Nang. Remember Abbotsford and Surrey? Where do people from these places go for some fun and relaxation, particularly in the summer? The most beautiful place in BC: Kelowna. Where do people from Ontario go? A hop away to the sun: Florida. Where do people from Alberta go? Well, there’s nowhere nice in Alberta, so also Kelowna. Imagine the difference between a polluted, humid, congested, boring summer day in Abbotsford/small town Ontario. Now, imagine all you could do in a sun-drenched Kelowna/Florida. This is the relationship between Binh Duong and Da Nang. With its sun, sand, mountains, culture, golf, and seafood, it’s the draw of many a poor man, and you know I’m one.

The reason that I am not a prince here, then, is tied into that. Every expatted out expat in Ho Chi Minh City, Hanoi, or small-town Vietnam feels like they have done their time, and they deserve something a little bit nicer, a little bit fresher, a little bit less cockroachy, and a little bit more up-and-coming. That place is Da Nang. So, they pack up their Lonely Planets, their teaching materials, and their Vietnamese girlfriends, and they head to the central coast. As a result, cost of living is higher, wages are lower, hours of work are trickier, and foreigners in some places don’t even get a ‘hello’! What’s worse, I have yet to be even offered a job just walking on the street: so much for paradise! Yet somehow the Da Nang dream has lured me just the same.

Yes, this is where I have been reborn as a Vietnamese dweller, this time not as a prince, but as a regular old expat, with his overconfident knowledge about Vietnam and the Vietnamese psyche, his suitcase of teaching gadgets, and his Vietnamese girlfriend/life organizer (current location: Binh Duong). That said, I do believe this time I know what to expect, and I am better off for it. In fact, every hour of every day, something comes back to me that I remember from before. “Oh yes, being awoken by construction at 6:30am? Normal.” “Oh yes, struggling to find the right temperature on your AC, between shivering and 120% death humidity? Not easy”. “Oh yeah, ants can somehow smell a single grain of sugar from across the house, and oh yeah, they bring a trail of themselves 12 metres long.” “Oh yeah, that noise. And that one, and that one, and that one.” These things are not new to me, but distant memories being reborn. The hope is, this time, it doesn’t all drive me nuts. It’s all part of starting this time out as a dweller, and not a foreigner, and the paradisaical nature of Da Nang is going to help me.

So, with all that said, sit back, enjoy, and watch as I struggle to fit in as Vietnamian as well as a newly minted Da Nangite.

[winds--of--change]

No.491

It's WED 19/04/2017 at 1057 PM

Me: hey, do you know why some people are even afraid of getting happiness?

Markus: Nope, why?

Me: people like Sunny, for example, who I am sure she could be happy as fuck, but as she said, she doesn't want to find a nice guy because she would feel boring and she would soon fuck it up but deep down i'm sure she wants a nice guy, like her

Markus: I don't remember her saying that, but sounds like she's afraid that she can't find one and says that as reassurance for herself

Me: sorry for randomness, i'm drinking alone and bit drunk lol thats why i can text so randomly to people like this

usually i just write it on my blog and feel better after that

i guess no one ever, including me wants to be alone

Markus: No worries

Me: i dont think i want to be alone like i thought i can

weird i thought i can always be by myself before man i want to cry i thought i just want to be happy to

Markus: Yeah, I know what you mean, I don't want to be alone, but I won't be with someone just because I don't want to be alone

Me: but somehow i just chose things that arent happy for me

exactly! thats why im always alone because id rather be alone than being with someone i cant even stand just because i dont want to be alone but somehow sometimes thats still so hard lol

maybe sometimes we actually never know what we want

but only know what we dont want. i dont know anymore

i just want to cry. and i did lol im crying, i dont even know why i cry

Markus: Yeah probably, the search for happiness is hard, but if it just came as soon as we wanted it, would you really be happy, or just content

Me: no actually i know i am prob a bit like sunny, i dont want to be happy because im afraid i would fuck it up so i'd rather choose something unhappy and so at least in the end, there wouldbe no devastating disapointment if nothing good comes out of it because after all i'm not afraid to lose it

Markus: I don't know, I don't think that anyone does that on purpose

Me: I know. i dont do that on purpose. somehow it just happens. i dont know what i saying or thinking anymore lol

Markus: I think it's a subliminal thing we do to not have to experience loss, because you can't lose what you never had, but you still want something so you are sad about that instead

Better to just search from the beginning then and face the pain when it arrives

Me: why am i crying? isnt it because it's really unhappy, then why cant i stop the unhappy thing? why i still do it. maybe it also all comes down to the fact that sometimes somehow we do not love ourselves enough to think we deserve happiness.

i dont know what i did wrong anymore. i just want to be with him, then after being with him, i went home, being alone like this, and cry. then what do i really want, a happiness with him, but im not even thinking about the possibility of this

and i know i should stop, but i just continue on, i want to touch him, but after doing so, i actually felt empty more

Markus: Then maybe you are sad because you know you will never be and are trying to make sense out of it while sometimes there is no sense

Me: i dont think i love him that much, but at the same time, i dont know what this is, maybe its just because he's my first and i felt attracted to him physically, even though physcally i don't think we match

Markus: It's hard to face life sometimes, especially when you like someone, but sometimes you just have to say fuck it, it's life

Me: maybe im just alone for so long i need something to spice it up i know i just need to fuck it and go with the flow

Markus: Yeah I know what you mean, it's hard being alone 😞

Me: but i dont know how i can just forget things, i am alone all the time but now somehow i cant be alone that easy any longer, and that scares me, because how can i face things ahead if i cant be alone that easy anymore, i used to be so numb, as im alone all the time, so it doesnt feel anything, but then i got to have chance to be with someone with friends i really love, and after that suddenly comparing to loneliness before, its a complete difference and i prefer being with someone like those people i was lucky to meet and be with, but in life its not easy to keep meeting those kind of people

and besides, i know that even though i can find a group of people who can accomodate me, i will somehow fuck it up, maybe im not just that good at socializing, or knowing how to be with someone, the fact that i drank alone, crying and ranting all bullshit like this lol after meeting him, is obviously to show that i shoulnd't be with him, but at the same time i chose to be with him because i dont believe in love i dont believe in romance i dont believe in forever happiness either, i dont believe in anything but myself, thats why i chose this experience so that i can get out of the traditional girl self who dreams of a happy ending, or a true love and blah blah blah shits, sorry why the hell did i msg you all this, lol i just want to live so that i could die, life is so long, too long we just have to keep thinking, no man, i should fucking get a job lol im kinda at liminal stage in-between thing, after graduation, before job thing, middle of nowhere, not quite here, not even there, and afraid to moving there because i dont know what is good for me 😭 man fuck me lol i should just........ sorry i dont even know why i text all this, actually the only one i can think of to talk to is sunny then im afraid i give her a burden again, so i ended up finding someone else which is you to rant on. i dont like myself who cant deal with my own shits alone, i forget how to deal with shits alone all by myself and thats so annoying lol its so annoying to be dependable on people, thanks for taking this lol good night ❤

Markus: It's OK, I was just making my dinner, yeah I understand what you mean, I also have a lot of problem finding people I can trust, especially people I can open up to, but I think that it's important not to give up, otherwise you don't know what you are missing!

And the job thing isn't easy either, I was lucky, I just happened to choose the education that would benefit me the most, but I have no idea what I want to do with my life, I think it all comes down to you live you learn

Me: you are lucky yoooooo!!!! and im sure you deserve being lucky because you will make the best of it, many take things for granted and dont do best they could but you will. i will be fine. thank you Markus 🙂 i will be fine. everything works out in the end. always. and you are a good cook! i wanna eat your cake again XD thanks to you i will defo come visit sweden one day! not like i think of anything to visit there lol except for...erm...abba museum or something? lol but yeah now i have you there i believe i could explore sweden as local

haha

Markus: Haha thank you I think you will be fine too 🙂 there are many things to do! If it's the summer you can do all kinds of things!

Me: yea i'm going home for a while anyway. i will bring back some vietnamese coffee for you!!! you must have some, i insist lol

Markus: Sounds great! I love coffee 🙂 At least good coffee 😛

Me: vietnamese coffeee is the bessttttt, approved by french ie victor and canadian ie sunny and. me lol and ..all over the world lol

Markus: Haha looking forward to it 🙂

Me: and, you hav to 'like' my new profile pic XP lmao

Markus: Lol, how drunk are you?

Me: i dont know lol i knocked the whole bottle so far lol

but i think i'm still at happy drunk, ok no i'm crying while laughing lol but well it's still good drunk lmao

Markus: Haha lol, just be careful so you don't fall over and hurt yourself 😛

Me: nah im just at home drinking and writing ill be fine lol

but seriously you MUST like my new profile picccc!!!!

please, boost my ego and let my vanity go viral for a little bit haha i'm counting on your like lmao 😜

Markus: OK, I'm going to sleep, nighty night 🙂

Me: lmao hai thanks for listening good night

Markus: No worries

#491st

[winds--of--change]

No.455

Wanderer: Why?

Actor: Because people don't get out of their habitus

Wanderer: ...

Actor: You understand right, "birds with same feather flock together", that's very true, you tend attract like-minded things/people, creating a zone, your comfy place, one that is where you belong. There are different zones, all kinds of habitus, but think about it, even if you leave one and enter something new, you enter that particular new one because it conjures up something similar to the old one, "you can never get away from your habitus" and once you go somewhere else you will choose to be where familiar/or actually recreate a version of your habitus.

Wanderer: You mean, after all experiences and all changes, doing all different things or being in different places and all you actually just always live in your own habitus?

Actor: Admit it, we live off from habitual socialization, even if you travel somewhere completely far away from your own home, it doesn't mean you are now a completely new person living in a completely 'new' environment different from your old one, actually you just carry the habitus with you and make your new place similar to what you have already had. That's you, Wanderer.

Wanderer: ...

Actor: Don't you see we are different, I am an Actor, you are an Individual, if you go somewhere you bring your own identity into that place, negotiation, readjustment, but you always retain something that is yours. By contrast, Actor has no personality, simply we are just no one, we are just nothing, we are whoever we become as part of the habitus we have to enter. Don't you see, I entered that drama group then I became the mean girl like the other, now I entered Yoshinoya and I became like other Vietnamese young students who came here for language schools, I acted like one and got treated like one by the Japanese. I just take in whatever there from the habitus I enter as I enter different habitus, usually people would not enter a completely different habitus from the one they used to live in, they would be prone to go somewhere familiar no matter how different and far-away the new habitus is from the previous one, as interesting and surprisingly true as it is, you would always find something similar even if you go for the most bizarre different, because you automatically subconsciously search for the familiar. Trust me. Just like how all of my friends from MA or Undergrad, they would never become one of those workers in such a place as a fast-food chain-restaurant.

Wanderer: Yeah right. Don't you think the fact that draws you to start your life in that habitus, it's actually because there's something in you familiar to that one, your old habitus for example, or certain kind of mentality from what you used to live with, the Vietnamese habitus for example.

Actor: Yes you are right, after all I am not in the same habitus with my MA friends I guess, we are still different from each other even though we are drawn to each other into same 'habitus' called MA GPGS.

Wanderer: ...okay so what's your point of talking here lol you are not an actor a real actor like those movie stars or something because after all even you play the Actor in your life by entering somewhere something, it is still because you are drawn to it for a certain familiarity in habitus that you have lived through.

Actor: I guess I am fake actor in that sense.

Wanderer: .... That's it?! To support your argument? Man you defend your statement pretty weakly I think, already gave in?!

Actor: I just had an urge to write down something about habitus, that's why, not exactly mean to defend anything...

Wanderer: ... ...

Actor: But the fact that one who is an actor takes in colors of someone who is supposed to must act so in the habitus they enter, is precise.

Wanderer: But different from real movies, in reality actors are still those prone to enter where they are somewhat familiar with, be it subconsciously or automatically, they still 'choose' the habitus they enter. I think.

Actor: But who actually has no personality, then become actors more easily than wanderers then, because they don't have strong individuality and egos to retain what is theirs in new habitus.

Wanderer: Those who are prone to become actors are just due to the fact they are kinda weak-minded and colorless and so easy to become someone else's colors or be influenced by other minds then. Wait actually unless you act knowing very well you are acting, then you are called an actor, if not, if you just act out unconsciously due to social inducement, can you call yourself 'actor'? Or just...hmm...'follower', 'shadower'?

Actor: Yeah but you could one day 'snap' out of it and leave the habitus, so does it just mean the actor was just so into the play he forgot himself an actor and instead, he played himself as if he was one of the 'real' habitus resident? Because seriously, I knew in the beginning what I was aware, I already got...hmm 'an opinion' but somehow along the line, I just went with the flow acting the way I did, forgetting my beginning standpoint. That means a real actor, not fake one no?

Wanderer: I mean, in reality everyone, no matter what idea they have from the beginning before entering a habitus, I think along the way they always get influenced somehow and really 'become' part of the habitus somehow, after all that is what socialization is all about, and you can never get away from socialization as a human being for we are all born from it, into it, and 'for' it. Think about it, and take the movie 'Closer' as example, when she is Alice, she really 'is' Alice no? Only till she gets OUT of the habitus does she go back to Jane Johns again? Before that she stays true to herself as an 'Alice'.

Actor: Depending on the level of how much we are "aware" of what we act I guess, that it measures what degree to which we involve ourselves to the new habitus. But as said, in reality we would be prone to the familiar habitus, not a completely distinguished one from what we usually have... ... Man so that is true, as my advisor who is Professor in Sociology said, 'you could never get away from your habitus', never. Just like how Murakami once said you could never get away from yourself. I could never get away from my 'Vietnamese-ness' then also the theories on 'actor' would be very questionable then, who proposed it again, I think George Simmel on 'four types of characters' the wanderer, actor, player and whatever yeah? In society there is in fact no actor then, people act for certain extent yet, not to a completely different thing from they used to be. In 'Breakfast at Tiffany's Holly Golightly would not weep in devastation for Fred, her brother because as a 'Holly Golightly' presumably she would not know anyone who is Fred, a brother from the army for it then means it is connected to her old identity yeah? As she received the letter of Fred's death from her old husband with whom she married as ... damn what was her name again before she left the husband to New York City and built herself as a 'Holly Golightly' T_T

Wanderer: Man if this continues on, I feel like my mind is gonna blown up lol can we go back to finish 'Ghost Protocol' T_T and then start making schedule for next week, and you need start working on your RA tasks asap, replying to your professor's email too...

Actor: Damn don't get me thinking about it now >_

#455th