#I'm misinterpreting a lot of the Confessions on purpose I think because I need somebody to represent perfectionism

[salmonberrypj]

Escapril Day 9 - Bad Habit

“I can do without anything,” Saint Augustine tells me as I brush my teeth.

“Anything?” I ask, in a soft tooth-pasted accent.

“Yes anything,” he says. “Violent shows, the theatre,” he looks at me in the mirror, “Women.”

“How?” I ask. I spit out the toothpaste, wash out my mouth, and return to the mattress on the floor. The homework glares up.

Saint Augustine is back in the doorway.

“I simply hate that my flesh is weak and I want earthly things,” he says, which is absolutely what I thought he was going to say.

See, that’s the problem,” the paper is so convoluted, so long, forms of formants from fricatives to floating tones I can’t place on vowels. Yes, I’ve tried. “What happens when you hate wanting earthly things, but not enough to quit wanting them?”

“Evidently you don’t hate it enough,” he says.

I’m not getting anywhere with the formants. I set them aside, pull up some essay prompts. I’ve never had an opinion in my life. “I wish I did,” I say. “I wish I hated wanting anything, so much that I only ever ate miso soup and drank eggnog. I wish I hated it enough to never feel tired. I wish hate was the strongest curse word I’d ever used, and the strongest thing that had ever burned and intoxicated me, and I never sat down to watch TV.”

“Good,” he says.

“Those things never pay off, though,” I say, the petulant sort of vain that’s almost comic relief.

“Then hate things more,” he suggests.

I can’t think of a second paragraph idea for this prompt. “You’re giving lackluster advice for a guy who wrote thirteen chapters on the subject,” I accuse.

“You’re being vain and foolish,” he says.

“You’re being a pompous, holier-than-thou old man.” I want to paint my nails, but I keep needing my fingers for something.

“I am,” he agrees, “Holier.”

“Break it up, break it up,” says God. I don’t recall at what point He got into my room. Maybe I’d feel more awake if I did some pushups. “You’re both perfectionists. That’s My job.”

“But I’m not a perfectionist,” Saint Augustine and I both answer, “Otherwise I would be doing everything right!”

-PJ

#Escapril #Poetry #Poem a Day #Creative Writing #Writing #Saint Augustine #I... may have got a little angsty with this one #Please excuse #I'm misinterpreting a lot of the Confessions on purpose I think because I need somebody to represent perfectionism #And Augustine is pretty good for that #But I don't actually mean any disrespect