#I'm going on a quest to reconnect with my family and heritage

[sweetdreamspootypie]

*scream*

(ventpost)

"you know you're getting a bit old for meeting people if you want kids"

WHO'S FAULT IS THAT?!

Who chose to raise us in the middle of the the fucking woods?!

Who actively deliberately isolated us from our ethnic community because you were embarrassed by how we were failures and your internalized self racism makes you think all brown men as skeevy and you specifically wanted to keep us away from them and put effort into achieving that and cutting us off from all community connection?

Who let me switch to correspondence school and study alone at home because I said I was bored, instead of giving a single solitary fuck about me and noticing I was obviously depressed?

Who raised us abstinence only to the point that any mixing with the 'opposite' sex was unacceptable?

Who actively shut down any attempt I made to develop or act on hobbies or personal interests, because the only think I should be doing is studying?

Do you think that somehow the negative effects of keeping kids at home only allowed to do schoolwork and chores and unable to drive unable to leave the house unable to get a job unable to engage in hobbies unable to engage in community unable to leave the house... somehow the negative effects only apply if you're deliberately doing it for patriarchal cult reasons?

Bitch managed to raise us fully traditional entirely by accident

With a good dash of learned helplessness with constant messaging that were incapable of managing to do anything or survive by ourselves

I've only been out the house for 3 years! And 2 of that was the last year of the degree and the first year of the job being a new grad Covid nurse in peak Covid!

I've only been able to breathe for one year!

I've had one year of freedom and I've been using it to learn how to be human for the first time!

And you've spent that year telling me to break up with everyone I happen to meet!

Don't fucking tell me I'm too old now

You were supposed to help me!

You knew I wanted kids! Why didn't you help me earlier!

You did everything you could to keep me isolated because you were projecting your own trust issues onto me and never stopped to think what effect that might have when you're raising someone!

Why does generational trauma have to be so mundane

#Vent post #Negativity #My posts #My life #Aka I have spent one single evening with my family #Day 1 of a full 30 days #Luckily I'll be with my dad not my mother #The way he doesn't care about me is a lot less sharp for me these days at least #He saves that all for not giving a shit about my sibling #I'm going on a quest to reconnect with my family and heritage #This is a great start #.... She's not wrong tbh #But it's still a sore spot #Haydn's parents bought me supplies for the hobbies I want to try #Ive wanted to do them for 10 years #But I've only just now got the freedom and support to start #I'm a beginner now at everything #But I'm starting. #I'm starting. #Just let me live. #Without making mundane things into stress. #Haydn's mum is so nice. #I know mine is stressed and has a hard life too #But she's miserable for the same reason I am #Right #Flight tomorrow #Gotta sleep #And think morw positive thoughts #My birthday just gone is the best one #Thank you for making me feel loved