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purplesurveys · 5 years

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-What was the last song that you sang out loud? I played a Destiny’s Child playlist when we were out for a bit earlier so I was most likely rapping along to Bug A Boo before we got home. -If someone has bad breath, do you tell him or her? I don’t think I can. I’d rather just not have my face directly on them when talking. -With which friend are you most likely to share a secret? Angela. She knows e v e r y t h i n g. -Do you have an item that comforts you when you are sad/scared? My...phone? Haha. If I get anxious I need to watch videos to distract me. My phone has YouTube. Also bracelets that Gabie has given me over the years. -When are you likely to hide your emotions? When I’m with people that don’t really know about my anxiety. People I’m not close to, in general.

-Which is scarier: Dying of thirst or of starvation? I think both are equally terrifying??? Both put the body in immense pain and it goes through a slow, agonizing shutdown and I don’t even want to think about experiencing other lol. -Who was the last person to take your breath away? MY GIRLFRIEND -When you turn on the TV, what channel do you flip to? Probably a movie channel but I legit have not watched television in yearssss. I watch everything on Netflix now. -Have you ever tried to help someone quit smoking? No. -What was the last comment someone made on your music taste? I don’t have much of a music taste so it’s not really something people tend to make comments on. -Where do you go/what do you do when you need to calm down? My room. Or to my best friends. -What was the last mess you cleaned up? I had a stack of readings and stationery scattered all over the dining table last night when I was studying, so I cleaned everything up before going to bed. -Have you ever had to talk anyone out of suicide? Yes I had to talk to Toby because he made a series of disturbing tweets a couple of weeks ago. We aren’t close per se, but he’s an orgmate and therefore a friend, so I messaged him immediately. I’m happy it worked, cos he showed up to school the next day and gave me a bear hug. -When you think of tomorrow, what feelings come to mind? Work. -Who, in your opinion, has an amazing voice? Hannah sings a lot, and I really like it when she does because she sounds great. -Would you ever camp out on a beach, under the stars? Of course.

-What is the last thing you complained about? I need a printer to print out my readings (I absolutely cannot study from an e-book) but ours has been broken for years and there’s no Internet/printing shop nearby. UGH I’m serious about complaining over not being able to study haha. -What was the last curse-word you said? Fuck. -When you fake sick to get out of school, what do you say or do to convince your parents that you are sick? I would never fake sick to my Asian mom. -How did you recover from your last bout of tears? I slept. As is always the most effective way to stop crying. -Do you still talk to your very first best friend? Yes. I talked to her last night. -When was the last time something went terribly wrong? Well a couple of weeks ago Gab and I had a huge, really serious fight that had just been unfixable–it was the kind of fight that you just had to wait. And the wait was torture. I was really scared then and I stayed in bed for what was probably 48 hours and ate like two times in that period. -How do you console someone when he or she is upset? I stay with them and listen to them if they have to let things out. -Have you ever seen either one of your parents cry? Just my mom. I don’t know what I’d do if I saw my dad cry. -Choose one: Trip to outerspace, or trip underneath the oceans? OUTER SPACE. I’d do anything to have a glimpse into my astronaut dream. -How often do you feel overwhelmed? 7 days a week. -How do you deal with everyday life? Get by. Aren’t we all forced to? -Do you have any secret obsessions or guilty pleasures? I don’t think so. I’m never guilty of whatever it is I’m obsessing at the moment haha. I am into serial killers, like reading and watching docus about them; and obviously I never announce it the world unless it comes up in conversation. -Aside from on this survey, what was the last thing you wrote about? I was writing down notes on my readings from my Southeast Asian history class. -Who in your family do you act like the most? I’m a mix of my mom and dad. I seriously can’t tell you who I act more like. There are certain phrases my mom says that I say, and certain intonations and mannerisms I got from my dad. -What is the most romantically sweet thing someone has done for you? I’m into intimate, more between-the-two-of-you kind of stuff, so I always appreciate it when Gab volunteers to drive my car if I ever drink a little bit too much for the night. She helps me get to bed and gets me some clothes to wear too, which is always sweet.

-When you go out to the mall, do people stare? Not me, but my girlfriend and I obviously will get stares from time to time for holding hands. -Have you ever been confronted by a mall cop for your behavior? No. -What just tears at your heartstrings? Videos of dogs reuniting with their owners, abused dogs getting saved and all groomed up, or dogs getting adopted. -Is there a show you swear that you will never watch? GAME OF THRONES -What was the last topic that you ranted about? The lack of a printer that I delved on several survey questions ago. -Is there someone that makes you feel like you're walking on eggshells? Jane lol. She’s the president of our org and will easily get pissed the fuck off sometimes, and it never does my anxiety any good. -Were you ever afraid of one of your past teachers? Yes. We had this monster of a PE teacher in 2nd grade who would literally kick down doors if she gets angry and would yell at 8 year olds. How she ever got employed in the first place still baffles me. -Have you ever been in a physical fight on school grounds? That’s a huuuuuge no-no in our school, so no. Plus I came from an all-girls’ Catholic school; it just wasn’t in anyone’s nature to pick a fight. -Have you written anything in a bathroom stall? What, if anything? No, I feel so iffy about vandalizing in public. -Is your school like the drama capital of the country? HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You can say that, damn. -A homeless man asks you for 50 cents; how do you respond? I give them a little more and a snack if I had any. -When was the last time you visited a thrift store? I don’t remember. I don’t think I have? -Was there ever a time when you wished you'd never been born? Always. I didn’t even choose to be born lol. -Can you handle constructive criticism? Uhhhhhh only if it’s from someone I truly respect. Otherwise I can honestly be a big baby about criticism. -Who is the most sensitive person that you know? ME. Also one of my friends, Mils. -Have you ever had a tooth (or teeth) pulled? Nope. -You can have one famous person's wardrobe; who do you choose, and why? Kate’s!!! She dresses so well and looks pretty in all of her outfits. -When was the last time you wrote someone a note? I think December? Aya was down in the dumps pretty bad so I dropped her a short message on Facebook to let her know that I’m always around for her. -Do you tell your parents before you go somewhere, or just leave? I ask permission. Duh. I’m Asian. -What was the last thing you tried to get out of doing? Agatha’s birthday party. She’s a good friend, but I’m not friends with any of her friends and I just can’t relate with the college block we both belong to. I scheduled a date with Gabie’s dad on the same night because I didn’t want to go to the party. -On average, how many surveys do you fill out in one day? If I had a lot of time, I could fill out three. Nowadays it’s like once a day/a couple of times a week. -How many hours a day do you spend on Bzoink? I don’t stay on Bzoink; I just go on there to look for surveys. -Which season do you dread the most? I hate Philippine summers. -Do you ever brag about your achievements? Oh god never. I hate putting any attention on me. -If someone makes fun of you, are you able to laugh it off? Tbh no, I’m pretty sensitive and serious in that aspect. I mean I’d smile to be polite but will most likely be whispering something evil about them in my head hahahaha. -When was the last time that you watched the sun come up? Three years ago, in Sagada. -What did you do last Halloween? I think I went out with Gab that day, but it wasn’t to celebrate Halloween. -Last Thanksgiving? -Last Christmas - if you celebrate? I like how Christmas has the *if you celebrate* disclaimer but the North American-centric Thanksgiving doesn’t. Anyway, we had several family dinners and we ate and drank and caught up with one another. -How did you celebrate the arrival of the new year? Also saw some relatives and ate and drank and bonded with my cousins. -Is there a foreign culture you'd like to learn more about? I’d like to know more about all of them if I had the time and the chance. -Have you ever (purposely or accidentally) played with someone's heart? I possibly might’ve with Mike but I don’t want to be an ass and assume. -Has anyone ever played with yours? Sure, you can say that. -Have you ever seen a famous painting and thought "I could have done that?” Not famous, but expensive ones. The ones that are paint splatters hah. -Fire drills: Did you ever wish they were real ... just once? LOL YES. I’m terrible for thinking that but yes. Mostly because everyone was such kids about it and never took the drills seriously. I secretly wanted a real one to happen just to see those people regret not being any more serious.

-What is the scariest thing about attending your school? Nothing’s scary about UP. If you’re scared to be in UP you can’t survive in it. -Are you a good judge of other people's intentions? Meh. I can tell sometimes. What was the last thing that you felt strongly about? I’m not so sure, it’s been a while. -Shopping: best with friends, parents, bf/gf, or alone? Girlfriend. -What is one insecurity you have about your body? Teeth. -What is one part of your body that you are proud of? My overall figure. -When was the last time someone told you to turn your music down? Ages ago. I’m getting old myself and don’t want my music too loud lmfao. -When you don't know how to spell a word, do you look it up? Yes, of course. -Are you one to spend a lot of time in the bathroom? Nope. I hate making people wait. -Have you seen the movie Super Size Me? No. -Do you still eat at McDonald's, regardless of that film? I’d probably continue eating at any fast food establishment even if I watch a billion documentaries exposing them, being completely honest. -Have you ever wondered what it would be like to be a different race? Sometimes. -Do you ever consider the challenges other races go through? Of course. Except for one snowflake race out there, lol. -When was the last time you doubted your abilities? Now? -At your favorite restaurant, what do you order? I don’t pick favorite restaurants. -What was the last thing you wished for? A DAMN PRINTER. -How many times a day, on average, do you look at the time? Too many. I’m perpetually impatient.

#survey #surveys

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ecassandrae · 7 years

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:re 129 thoughts

Skipping between mangastream translations and Jaimini’s Box’s is such a mess. Let’s just take the first page with Ayato.

In Jaiminis Box’s, it sounds like he doesn’t sense many people living there, but the material evidence proves there are. In Mangastream’s, his senses contradict the material evidence of people living there - mind that as he himself noted, his sensory abilities are not as good as Hinami’s or Miza’s. It may be irrelevant, but think about ghouls who’ve lived in the underground for so long that they’ve developed particular abilities such as concealing their presence - I swear I’m not talking about suppressing one’s Aura, though that’s a common trope in manga, and we know it’s possible thanks to Miza’s clan.

I think something like this, with Quinx, new gen Quinx, Oggai kids with two kakugans, Urie turning full ghoul, Mutsuki who’s probably been full ghoul for a while now, something so biologically absurd that makes the first biological absurdity of Kaneki look totally normal, is very possible. Not to mention the biological miracles we witness later.

However all of this is beside the point now, as there are in fact people living in the deepest dephts of the 24th ward. And to wonder what their role will be is just a question that will soon have an answer. Again in Jaimini’s box version they look quite light-haired... that may be due to the lack of exposition to sunlight, or maybe to the different raw provider, or even to Ishida’s printer. Who knows.

and for this week’s bitchy Furuta, we have....

manipulative Furuta! one of the all-time classics after “101 dalmatians style”, this week in the special extra emo edition. He’s handome but someone comb back that bangs please. And given the lenght of Takeomi’s hair, a least some months must have passed since the wedding - this is just a confirmation.

Hair colours, textures, ink trait width ... Ishida has a whole library of his to convey emotions, subtext and symbolism through drawing. Many charatcter have expressions or particular rapresentations of their own - think of mouthless Urie. And this panel here is worth of notice for how no-one’s faces but Takeomi’s are clearly visible and drawn. Furuta is a sketch, so is Mutsuki, Aura’s is covered with his hair - like pretty much always though - and the two investigators in the front are more like a frame around Yoriko, who shamefully bends her head. Everyone here is a mask, under a mask, a role, not a person.

This whole scene and situation remind me - along with the glorious times of KuroSasaki the bad cop - of an Al Jazeera documentary about the Japanese police coercive methods to force people to confess. In short they tend to threaten people into doing it. And it wouldn’t surprise if it happened with poor Yoriko here, who I don’t think ever learnt about Touka’s true nature before this moment. But for as heartbreaking as it is, Yoriko is “simply” a victim here, along with Takeomi and many others.

I surprise myself realizing I still don’t hate Mutsuki as a person. As a character, of course I love him - cause it’s “ore” this week, seriously, this pronouns thing is driving me insane -, essays could be written on him. And as person... I don’t justify but I think I partially understand why he’s doing what he’s doing.

Mutsuki is, at the very least, angry. Not simple anger, mind. Anger that mixes with jealousy and the impredictability of his psychiatric disturb, whatever it may be and that he’s not responsible for. He’s angry for his family situation with his family; he’s angry with Sasaki, obviously; he’s angry with the CCG, for how they took him in and how they channeled and hid his past - which he did too to himself -; he’s angry, in particular, with anyone’s who’s happy.

Mutsuki considers himself “disgusting and grotesque”. He hates himself but for this, thinks other hate him as well, and in particular, normal people. In the Chateau he found a family, and not despite the fact the that is was disfunctional, but because it was disfunctional. Why did some of us even started to ship him with Urie?

Because he understood him better and before anyone else could - with the exception, maybe, of Saiko. And why did he? Because the negativity he felt was just the same.

But while Urie stood up, especially after Shiragin’s death and Sasaki’s departure and evetual betrayal, Mutsuki, after the experience at Rushima with Torso, let his own natural kindness slide away, let his anger devour and mental illness him take overnbecause he realized that’s what saved him from Torso and since the days at the Chateau were gone anyway, along with Sasaki, what good was pretending that thing are as they were before?

His family was disfunctional and abusive. He erased it. His new family is now gone. He erased that too, also because afraid that they too might find out how “grotesque” he is. He bonded with Aura becuase he too is angry,, And now he’s both angry and scared with all other people and all other amilies who are still intact, wondering why and how they were so lucky while he wasn’t, while he lost two families who both, in his eyes, betrayed him. Which brings us to Takeomi and Yoriko.

Mutsuki here isn't just happy, she's giggling. She feels a not-even-guilty pleasure in seeing the tragedy that expands before his eyes. And Ishida makes her state something:

I too will fight for you.

she says in the letter, While Takeomi is angrily pushing himself towards Yoriko, while he is fighting for a family he's seeing destroyed before his eyes. And Mutsuki is, I think, both overyoyed and admired or this; she admires Takeomi for fighting for his family, she's eager to do the same for her family. While Takeomi has been put between the CCG and his personal life, she too wants that, somehow, and states openly that the letter she’s writing is pure betrayal. On the other hand, Mutsuki loves to see a family destroyed like her families were.

Mutsuki envies other people’s happiness and wonders if they could ever have the same. In this “we” I see definitely her and Urie, for she understands him and his pain, but also potentially all the others aht Chateau. She sees them as misfits, who’d never have a shot at happiness like Takeomi did, for how they were born, brought up and lived. So like she did with cats at the academy, she wants to “destroy”, be it happiness, lives or families. And she’s too blinded by her pain to see Urie’s helping hand.

Kaneki stated openly to her that he can’t go back, meaning, that their family at the Chateau cannot be restored. Urie during the wedding makes a bold statement too, but Mutsuki is even bolder, saying that she doesn’t care. Not at all. She’s lost so much sense of the situation that there is no way, legal or not, betrayal or not, that they could go back to the days of the Chateau.

To soothe this pain, Ishida inserts in the chapter also a little action, the magnificence of Tsukiyama and the awesomeness of the Zero Squad as they off-scene block little Kou, who turned out to be an Oggai, as many, me included thought he’d be, as many - me first - hoped he wouldn’t be - but I also hoped Touka wouldn’t ... nevermind, thanks Sensei.

There isn’t much to say here, or at least, I don’t have much to say. The little one’s real name is Hajime Hazuki and again, I remember savvy fans last week stating it could be him - these people are so smart it startles me. The little one’s manipulation appears to have been identical to Mutsuki’s, not to mention how Mutsuki is now the Oggai mentor, and gave him that letter. Ishida’s always put a certain highlight on orphans, human or not, from Touka and Ayato to Hinami, Mutsuki, Shirazu, Urie, and now the ghoul kids Hinami takes care of and the Oggais Furuta “had Rize bear him.” Despite being an orphan too, Kaneki’s story differs from all of these, as in his case the despair in heavily interiorized, while the firsts’ stories all have in common the risk of being manipulated, alone, unprotected. These are children who’ve been robbed of their infancy, forced to grow up to soon or too abruptly by organizations who alike manipulated them - Aogiri and the CCG -, which gave them a home but a reason for revenge so strong it excites a rage they cannot control anymore - and that some don’t want them to control.

The interesting question is: is Furuta aware of Mutsuki’s letter? Did he let him send it? Did he not but knows about it anyway? Are they working together in this or not?

Now I don’t want to toss a coin, but I’d like them not to. Mutsuki is the unpredictable piece on the chess here, for all parties, but it would damage Futura more - I want it to damage Furuta more -, and her healing, if at all possible, is only away from him.

I talked about children who are adults, and here we have adults who are in some ways, children. On the other hand, we have adults who look like children.

This panel here is just the last of a long series in which Ishida draws Kaneki looking like a child. And Touka too, but it wouldn’t be worth mentioning - graphics in manga change continuosly - if it didn’t come after this

Kaneki in fetal position. Touka acting as a mother.

And also this:

I’ll explain right away.

Since I read the chapter this morning, I’ve been wondering. Why would Touka want a child? She knows the dangers they live in right now, she knows Kaneki and how unstable he is, and though yes, he’s starting to heal, an underground town on the verge of famine is not the place to let a child be born.

I asked my mother about maternal instinct, to try and understand if Touka could want a child for that - which is a totally legit reason. She answered, as a psychology teacher, that maternal instinct exists biologically for the need of the mother to take care and protect at any costs their children - from Hinami’s mother Ryouko to a lioness -, but that it doesn’t exist, it’s a myth or a social construct in terms of how women must at a certain point want children. There’s women who don’t want and don’t have children and are fine with their lives.

So it could or couldn’t be this, Touka’s desire to be a mother. But, I wondered, in these conditions? Where there’s hardly anything to eat? Where she herself doesn’t know if Kaneki would want a child - narratively POV he probably wouldn’t, he’s trying to save the world first - or if said child could not only survive, but even be born?

I talked in another post about the biological implications of this and some contributed and said stuff way more intelligent than mine. But that is beside the point here, the point is: what is the purpose, narratively, of this baby?

The answer, in my subjective opinion, lies in the panels above: Touka wants to keep Kaneki from going off somewhere.

It is no news in this fandom to discuss whether Kaneki will or won’t live at the end of this manga. I have a a theory according to which Kaneki may sacrifice himself at the end to let other ghouls live. And what would his legacy be? A child would be perfect. But on the other hand, Touka is the one who knows his self-annihilation wishes best. Kaneki suffers of some form of depression, that much we can agree on, I think, and a depressed person doesn’t stop to wish for their own death even when they’re in love. And even if at the end Kaneki was healed and all were well, there’s still a chance he’d want to die to save whom he loves.

Touka knows this. And she wants to prevent it. If Kaneki’s at his best when trying to protect other, what about giving him someone only he can protect?

Touka loves his children and children love her. She’s like the 24 th ward babysitter, but I don’t think she wants a baby simply for that. Kuzen and Ukina’s case was completely different, they both wanted the child and both lacked self-annihilation tendencies.

This could make sense, but there’s also another issue: Kaneki’s represantion as a child. Is he the King of all ghouls or a boy needing love? Where is the line drawn? Ishida clearly states both in one scene or another. Just in this chapter, when confronting the matter of Kou, he appeared firm, decise. He burnt the letter without even opening it, thinking it’s Furuta. Who is he? How would he react to a baby? we only know how he reacts to violence and threats, sorrow and fear. I have no doubt he would love the child immensely. But what if Touka failed her biology calculations, what if human actually killed the child, or even endangered her life? Narratively, it would be just another part of the long announced tragedy.

All the while Yoriko is imprisoned, Kou has lost his childhood and Mutsuki will wait long outside the Chateau.

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