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naturaldisasterfanfiction · 4 years

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18. Part 2

Staring at the side of Chris’ face, I love this man so much and it’s crazy how I have never moved on from him at all, I don’t know why but I didn’t and I just love him so much even though he did hurt me a lot but we was both in a bad place “when are we getting married?” Chris has totally moved on from the subject “once you take Royalty out, she wants your attention ok? What is wrong? Like she heard you say you do it for me, you’re supposed to say no I don’t, I don’t want you to do things for me, I want you to do it for you” Chris cleared his throat “because those kids ain’t mine Robyn, she her mother’ and it’s just like that. With you, you’re my wife and my daughter to be born is more mine. When shit comes out my mom is going to be in Nia’ ear, I just always think the worst. I don’t know, I love my daughter a lot but it’s just that thing of bullshit politics, only so much Nia will be nice. I had my son’ mother on the phone saying he don’t want to speak to me, so I just gave up, but I am being positive because I got you, I got my new baby coming, shit is good. I am happy, I ain’t letting nothing get me down but I know when it comes out, you will get it, so will I. I also don’t want Roro using you to get to me, like that girl is not dumb. She knows you will come to me about it. I have never had the chance to be clean of shit and have a happy home, and you just coming up to me about this just shows she might do that. I am not saying my daughter is sly with shit, but I don’t want that, you’re my future, and I will deadass pick you over everything. There is nothing to understand on this. I be forgetting shit but why tell you everything, I forgot the daddy daughter thing but I won’t be making the same mistake for our daughter” Chris doesn’t hold back at all, blowing out air all wide eyed, how do I even deal with this mess “you have got to find a way to stop saying this, I get it Chris. I really do but you had kids with these people” I said “I was high! I was drunk! I am stuck Robyn, damn. What don’t you understand” Chris shouted, I shushed him. Chris clenched his jaw “if I didn’t fuck up in twenty twelve then I wouldn’t have this would I, you know that and so do I” touching the side if his face “it’s happened Chris, they are here” what more can I say “I ain’t having nothing come between us Robyn, know this. Like she is telling you the shit, it’s not good” I get his issue, I don’t want that issue he speaking on to be an actual issue either.

Holding onto Chris’ hands “I love you so much Chris, I get you feel that now we are on better terms, you feel that these kids are a mistake right?” I think he does “I do, I always did. I was never ready to be a dad because I wasn’t in love, I didn’t have the mindset but when I did find out, the mothers wanted me for money and then I never got to know the kids. My mom took over Royalty, she didn’t trust me. Like I would do something stupid with her, you know how angry that makes me feel. I ain’t ever had anyone just listen to me at all, I can’t even say shit about the situation because when I do I look the bad person. I did what I needed to do but in my heart it was never there, even the judge ain’t trust me. Gave my mom the rights, Nia is ok because Ro is older and is calling the shots but she still ain’t changed that ruling, she still tried to dog me out and made me seem a bad person. I had to keep shut, I bet you think I am a bad dad, but shit is not like that. I am hurt, I hate that I had to have kids knowing their mothers are trash as fuck” nodding my head “I don’t think you’re a bad person, I just think you was thrown into something you wasn’t ready for. You felt used by it but I did have sex with you drunk too?” which I did “don’t ever put you on their level, I would let you have sex with me as much as you want” nodding my head, Chris is madly in love with me and I can see it a lot “what we need to do Chris, we need to think of the future. I understand you are hurt how these kids came by, but they are here now-” Chris cut me off “how do you feel I have kids? I know you hate it” I breathed out “I do but it happened, when I read the shit I was like ok wow. Good for him, who am I to judge, a childless woman, as they say” shaking my head “but I will be here for you Chris, we will do this together and I want you to take her out ok? She does love you and I see it; I will help her get dressed and you take her out, I know you’re in a mood now” Chris is very moody, I can see it all on his face.

This is stressful, I mean what can I say when Chris didn’t want these kids I just don’t know what he wants me to do for him, and he needs to stop saying he is doing this shit for me “Riri, hey. I followed you on here look” Royalty ran over to me “where did you follow me on?” looking down on the phone “Instagram, that is ok. I can’t follow you back right now though. Soon though ok?” she nodded her head “chile, Robyn. You need to check her” Ja mouthed pointing at the phone “what did you do Royalty?” Chris came up from behind me “I tried to tell her no, she is excited, oh no” Royalty ran off “she posted a picture of us, an old picture too. What the, hey!” Chris chased after her, Ja stared at me and I just stared at him “I think she is a major fan” nodding my head slowly “why didn’t you tell her that is naughty? Is it an old picture right?” Ja nodded his head “incredibly old, at his sweet sixteen. She was happy, I think she really likes you and I said don’t, but she did, and I was stuck, and she ran off, you came. A mess” I sighed out, maybe this was a mistake. Walking by Ja, I mean I can hear Chris shouting from here, she didn’t get far “why did you do this!? I said secret, no! Fuck! You ain’t having no phone now” Royalty saw me and ran at me “did you delete it?” I asked him “I did but she is stupid, why do that” eye balling Chris “so anyways, Royalty shall we get you ready? Chris is going to calm down and take you out” I did not expect her to do that, maybe I can talk to her and say to her she needs to not do that.

Rubbing the Hydra Vizor in my hands “it smells so nice!” Royalty yelped out “you think? I think the same too, I try and get your dad to do this, but he is so lazy, men are really lazy so here I am trying to change the world, make it easy for these men and still they don’t. Look at Ja, his bald head is shining for the gods” Ja sat next to me “we not going to put makeup on your face, we just doing a little skin care. I think it’s nice to play around with it but for your young age to have it on all day, no baby. You are too pretty for that anyways. Look up at me” I said, she is pretty “my mom let’s me” she said “well that is your mom, I think you don’t need that on your face yet. You have some beautiful skin” Royalty looked up and closed her eyes, I thought I would just give her a little skin care. I don’t want to put make up on her because even with my own daughter, for a full day make up, no ma’am. Playing with makeup and then taking it off, I don’t mind that. They have some sensitive ass skin, if wouldn’t do it for my own daughter then I wouldn’t do it for anyone else’s. Royalty giggled as I rubbed the cream into skin “this is funny” she laughed “I wouldn’t be laughing, your dad is angry” side eyeing Ja “I told her no, this is not on me either” Ja defending himself which I do believe him on this.

This little girl is so happy, the pure happiness on her face “you have so many, can I have one!?” I chuckled “you can take one, I have lots. I take them with me everywhere, but your outfit has some pink in it so let’s go for fussy, this has that hint girl. We going to make you look pretty, and it feels so amazing on your lips” picking out the lip gloss for her “I am so excited, oh my god” she done seen my collection now “here, you can open it. But before you do that” holding it in my hand “what happened? Why did you post the picture? You’re not in trouble but I just want to know why because this is a big secret and nobody can find out, it’s important for Chris and me, I am trying to protect us in this?” I just don’t know what happened from me going outside to her doing this “I think the excitement got the better of her” Ja said “I am happy, you talk to me and we have fun and I like it” I laughed cooing out “ok, that is sweet but if you want to post pictures, not a picture of us together. It is exciting times for us all, I understand and you’re not in trouble” passing her the lip gloss “and I will just go and check on your dad, you just get your dress on ok” hitting Ja’ shoulder “lock my shit away thank you” I don’t want her to take my things home now.

I am so stressed right now, oh my god. Like I am just playing between these two, I am trying to make shit right. I don’t want Chris to be angry and then I am trying to make his daughter happy, I am tired. Holding my forehead as I entered the living room, Chris is not dressed, I knew this so much “hey” moving my hand away from my forehead “come with me. Tina, I need you to contact Savage team and tell them that those pictures Dennis sent over, post them. I won’t be posting it until later, but I want them done now, thank you” walking off to go to another room, I rather speak to Chris in private. I cannot wait for Chris and his daughter to go out, I am sleeping when he is gone “I miss crumbs” Chris said behind me “I hope you’re on about the crumbs on your plate by the way” I laughed rubbing my back “no ma’am” Chris wrapped his arms around my shoulders, I stopped walking laughing as he pressed himself against me “don’t you bother” I said that but he humped me anyways “why do you call me dumpling and then my daughter crumb? It’s not cute” Chris pressed kisses to the side of my face “you look so sexy pregnant, mhmmm. You know your pussy is even more on point” I know what he wants, slowly gyrating against Chris “you doing this huh?” shaking my head “we have other issues at hand, now move” shrugging him off me “I love you, come then. Let’s talk again” Chris moved back from me, with his arm around me we made our way to the spare room “if it is to give Ro phone back, I am not doing it” look at him trying to be strict, he needs to stop being this way.

I am feeling a little stressed about things, which is not good at all “how did you know she posted the picture?” I asked Chris, watching him sit down on the couch “Nia called me and was like was that supposed to be posted? Did you do it by mistake, so that is how I knew, but like is she crazy. Maybe this was a terrible idea, I can’t have sex with you, and she is just being weird” placing my hands on my hips “right, she is not being weird. This is new to her, so I asked her what happened and why she did it. She is just excited Chris, she got happy and she did it. She understands and she won’t do it again, are you sure you’re going to be ok to take Royalty out? Like you can’t be going out there making stupid remarks about things Chris, she is your daughter not a friend. She is alone here with us; I think she is being rather good to be here with a bunch of nobodies. Just take time out and spend the time with her, I am actually so tired Chris. I just don’t know where to go with you and this broken down relationship with these kids, I just. Look, I want you to go out with her. You make her happy, be a father to her Chris, can you just try and do it. For me at least, just have fun and whatever. Get dressed and do that, for me” he said he will do it for me “but you’re tired, you need me here” I laughed “I don’t, just please make sure your daughter doesn’t end up putting anything else up. I know you are a great person, so do it for me” Chris nodded his head as he got up from the couch “can I hug you? Why do I need to ask” nodding my head as he hugged me “I didn’t know about the daddy daughter dance, I just don’t know what happened then. I mean I rarely did know, I swear I lost brain cells but I just feel a little sensitive about shit, I don’t want things to go wack between us” I know he is feeling sensitive “and we will take it day by day, it’s cool. Just do this for me” it will make me happy with him doing this.

I am excited for them to go out, I just want some peace. I stifled out a yawn “we are going now” this is what I wanted to hear “ok, let me see you both then” Ja placed the blanket over us, he is here trying to get comfy on me on this couch “awww, what you got on your lips girl? Are those some Fenty lips?” Royalty got so shy “you look so pretty; I don’t know about your dad, but you are a sweet angel. You both look super cute, have fun then. And spend your daddy money while you’re out, get a cute bag or something” she is too cute “get me a bag” Ja said “look at my brand, you both look so cute together” Mel said as she sat down “I would like to say, I look the better one but we going now” smiling at Chris “good, have fun then. And leave me alone, I don’t want you hugging on me” I pointed at Chris “whatever, bye y’all. Come on then stink, let’s go and see some things” some peace and quiet “thank god” I breathed out.

Ja left me, well actually every one left the room, so Mel joined me “you are fed the fuck up” nodding my head “the drama of Chris, it’s just hard. It’s like, how can I put it” I paused thinking “it’s like a father finding out that he is a father and the child is nine, it’s like pushing him to be a father because his mother decided to have sole custody of Royalty because Chris was not capable to do so, which has made him be even more worse then he is. I think with Chris he likes the idea of he is a dad, but he sees them as a payment he has to make, it’s hard Mel. On top of that, I don’t want to push him and I don’t want to make him feel I am pushing him to do something because it’s unfair to do that when he has bipolar, nobody adds that in because Chris acts ok, dude is not ok, he is different and it has to be included so it’s just hard working on it. I can’t be telling him that you are actually very useless, and you don’t know what it is like being a dad, to any regular person they can take something like that. I am trying to please Royalty too because I feel bad for her, she is hearing Chris say these things, but he just thinks he is doing no wrong, no feeling towards it. She does see good in him, but I do account for his wellbeing and mental state, I am soft on him, well try to be” I laughed “it’s hard Robyn, I see it. I am watching from the side, it’s hard work for you. You are just helping him and then yourself and then this child, like what the fuck. I get what you are saying, maybe she didn’t need to come but it’s done with I guess. Chris wasn’t like this before, like we know him but he’s different, I feel like he’s stuck in a man’s body. He doesn’t know what to do but he does know, it’s one of those things. And I do see it, you will be carrying him Robyn until he wakes up and sees the light that he has these reasonability’s. Is that what you want?” Mel said “nobody else will, I might as well kiss him goodbye if I ditched him. Yes I am carrying him, I have to tell him what to do. He has been failed, and if he didn’t have a woman that loved him then I would hate to see how the rest of his life played out, he is so damn lost. And he uses me as guidance, he did speak on repeating his day, how he would watch the sunrise, he had to do it. Bipolar are like that though, I read into it you see. Today has been hell, I just pray they both have a good day” I laughed “same, I do love Chris a lot. It’s a shame for a talented nigga that he has that” resting my head on Mel’ shoulder.

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