#I think it's used to hold cheese? Which tbh it's an odd idea?

[formalpeacaps]

2/18/24 Recap

Youuuu guyyyys!!! What a response to my last recap, I was blown away. You’re all so very very lovely, every single one of you, and I missed you all very very much.

Unfortunately while I would LOVE for this to devolve into a sleepover where we all braid each other’s hair and play MASH and pretend we know how to do palmistry, we have an actual job here, which is recapping a Connecticut vlog. I was considering recapping the Dallas vlog, but all you need to know about that is that Paige goes to Dallas, decides she has nothing to wear, goes shopping at Urban Outfitters, and Tommy wins the tournament. It’s nine minutes of pure nothing, while this is a whole 23 minutes of more fonts than substance. Shall we get into it?

I don’t know if it was me or actual copyright threats from YouTube (guessing it was YouTube tbh), but I always make sure to be even-handed and note when Paige does good things, so genuinely glad she learned to use copyright-free music! Yay, learning! She’s still terrible at mindfully pairing music and scene to create an actual vibe, but at least she’s doing that legally. Attagirl! We love character growth!

She immediately follows that up with a title card for “A Cozy Winter Home Vlog by Paige” that’s FOUR, count them FOUR different fonts. They’re different fonts, different weights, different colors, some are italic and some are bold and she’s testing me. I can FEEL her daring me to screencap this so I will get this sub banned, but I won’t fall for it.

Also in the spirit of being nice to Paige, I love the color of dusty sage in her intro Paige is wearing. Both in general and on her. Piling on the nice things because I don’t think I’ll have anything nice to say for the next 20-odd minutes.

It feels important to be making compliment sandwiches right around now because boy can you tell Paige is fragile. She yammers for a bit about how she hasn’t been “home’ and how she “loves” the Florida home (uh huh) but how it’s not the same as Connecticut and how lonely the house feels without Olivia. Miss Girl has gone and flown too close to the sun, and I’m going to just hope that for her sake, the worst outcome of her hubris is that she randomly comes home for a month and makes like four extremely boring vlogs in a row about the importance of mental health and how important it is to take breaks when you’re as hard working as she is and Nance sort of haunts the background, cleaning up Paige’s mess. 

We can tell this is incoming because Paige’s friend from the barn who is vaguely normal looking and normal-shaped is around this ENTIRE VLOG. Like I’m not going to note she’s here because I don’t remember her name and she adds nothing, but Paige is of course never ever alone.

Is my eye twitching when Paige goes on about how she wouldn’t want to have to choose between her work and “all of these things that make me so happy?” Am I holding back a rant about how her idea of work-life balance and her ability to do claim buying fancy cheese and touching fabric samples is hard work is thanks entirely to her very privileged background? Yes. But whenever I do that Paige inevitably in the next few weeks will hollowly say something about how she’s sooooooo aware of her privilege and then have some sort of discussion on how she’s such a role model in spite of it because of her mindful work ethic or whatever and not because of her privilege, since she clearly doesn’t understand what privilege is, she’s just aware it’s a thing she has to verbally note in order to not be completely booed and pelted with tomatoes. I just don’t have the patience to sit through that and break down how contradictory that is. Not again.

“I feel like a lot of young people, working people, wouldn’t necessarily prioritize living in the suburbs” OH NO, nope, never mind, I was just holding my fire. Ma’am. MA’AM. It’s not about PRIORITIZING, it’s that the suburbs are VERY EXPENSIVE. A “cozy house” is PROHIBITIVELY EXPENSIVE. 

“I get it, sometimes it’s a lot easier to live in a high rise” I’m going to scream. I. She really thinks it’s about ease. She really just…… has no clue. She has literally never talked to a normal person or had empathy in her entire life. I’m just gonna take a screaming break. Please hold.

Paige goes to the barn and loves on Navy, then sighs over Louie having Laminitis. I’m not a horse girl so this required some extensive googling, but considering how all her animals seem to get terrible diseases no one could see coming but also everyone could see coming, I have my suspicions.

Paige shows us how organized her closet of sweatshirts is and she literally owns more sweatshirts than I own articles of clothing total.

Oh boy our favorite, PR unboxing ie: undisclosed ads that Paige isn’t grateful for and “donates” (claims she donates everything to a women’s shelter and/or local church, but hasn’t she been caught selling stuff on depop?). The cynic in me bets this is a double dip charity tax write off - she gets the stuff for free and uses it to try and secure brand deals, and then makes money by claiming it as a charitable donation.

Paige also claims the reason shce’s not going to Acapulco out of the goodness of her heart because there was a really bad hurricane and they’re still recovering, but then she drops that she actually has a photoshoot (hah hah oops if only she had people she paid to manage her calendar!). Though in fairness to Paige, when I googled Acapulco to make sure I was spelling it correctly, they did say they were recovering faster than expected and had rebuilt more hotel rooms than they were on target for, but that was before yesterday, when after Paige filmed this they were hit by a magnitude 5.0 earthquake, which isn’t that strong but strong enough to cause minor damage especially to hastily done construction, so. There’s PR from:

Guizio, it’s this set which she somehow thinks will make a great tennis match outfit???? That is for wearing to a Little Bo Peep-themed burlesque performance and nothing else. I don’t currently have time to make suggestions for Paige to wear because she’s only ever going to disappoint me, but this is to just let Paige know that she could win SO MUCH GOODWILL WITH ME if she wore something that was like a SMIDGE of a nod to all the upcoming locations and showed the TINIEST bit of personality.

Stuff from [Editor's note: this list was so long Tumblr refused to post it due to character limits]. part of me was jealous and then I remembered how much anxiety I get when I get a free sample of anything because having too much stuff causes my ADHD to go nuts so actually no, I’m fine not having (gestures) any of that. Call me when Trader Joe’s or L.L. Beans are sending out PR packages and otherwise I’m all good, thank you very much. Anyway at this point I lost track of all the garbage Paige is pretending to be grateful for. Bulgari is in there somewhere. Who knows who cares.

We watch Tommy’s match, we make the same unwashed veggie salad as always. The next day, Paige is wearing a very nice evergreen colored coat or something which is a color I wish she’d wear more because it looks great on her. Unfortunately she wears this as she tries to soften me up for her shipping one of her EXTRA CARS off to LA because it’s soooo difficult to get around LA without one and I just…. Phew. Deep breaths we all understand capitalism is a prison and meritocracy is a myth! Moving on!

Paige is in the car with the unnamed friend and we learn that Paige will not sing which THANK GOD. A fun bit of Pea lore is that I went to a school with a huge theater program (it will shock none of you to know that while I have a good voice and took vocal lessons for fun, I can’t dance and hated being on stage so much that instead of actually performing I always did stage crew instead), and I have said in SO MANY DMs that the only thing that could make Paige more insufferable is if she thought she was a musician. Like imagine if on top of everything about Paige she had Glee Kid Energy. IMAGINE. Think of the bullets we all have dodged.

Navy gets moved to “a little camp” for training. He’s apparently the happiest he’s ever been which like no shit, people are actually taking care of and paying attention to him. I don’t want to shock you all but the trainers said Navy was very poorly trained, so I’m glad Paige has been riding him without a helmet and keeping him for the aesthetic, this all reflects very well on her.

Paige’s parents come over and she makes all the same shit as always, a fifth font is added in the ending card, goodbye until next time.

#paige lorenze #plsnark

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Croatia to Eurovision with a confused angel lad and his lowkey over-enthusiastic mentor

Yeah, well, I definitely have hoped for this nation to finally finally bring back Dora as their national selection, as I myself have never really felt their internal entries since they abandoned it (well maybe except Nina from 2012 but even then by now I grew out of it softly). Not even Nina from 2016 which was tipped as a huge fan fave (though I’m so sorry for it getting completely lambasted in Eurovision, especially because of the poor clothing choice and Nina’s warbly notes here and there).

And they did! After like what, 7 solid years??? After the last Dora ending out with a disastrous end result and spawned a person to (more) stardom who even qualified a couple years back and this year he’s there to be a songwriter for his home country because of the Eurovision 2019 slogan inspiring him???? Well... yeah that happened. With having fought 15 other participants made up of familiar faces, up and coming starlets, the already legendary divas or just some people, he won as a songwriter for this next target of my review - the target that is aptly titled “The Dream” and is performed by a 19 year old up-and-coming pop star, Roko Blažević. Yep, Jacques Houdek won a NF but not with himself singing. Man did his magic game get stronger over the years since Dora 2011.

And interestingly enough, Jacques’s wizardry comes in with him being capable of selling chanceless music as something worth buying into. How can that happen???

Well, to be frank with you all, this song is not that bad, unlike everyone thinks it is. It feels like a low-rent musical ballad, sure, but it's not terribly composed or anything... well, I know I usually hate on those songs that like using mostly not the "verse - chorus - verse - chorus - bridge - chorus", but there are plenty of songs that mess with that structure that usually just omit the last two components (radio pop music) or don’t even need one, and they sound great. Here we have the omission of the last two components that more reminds me of “Grande amore” (I am not saying they’re comparable but still), as in, slow ballad in the F minor (”The Dream” even slaps a keychange on) that tries to sound majestic/dramatic, not very much so to be intense, just something theatrical I s’pose. And has a little too little time for another full verse so they just go to a bridge (and "Grande amore" had two long pre-choruses too?!?). I don’t hate this one, if I had to make a 2019 ranking this instant I’d put this in Top 30 somehow.

So what is there to be found that puts people off? They cannot be hating on Roko’s voice, which is really great for a young man like him. (In fact, God forbid I say one bad word about him, because some specific one on Twitter will have a beatdown with me because I dissed her hubby... so I’ll keep my mouth shut about any qualities of his :X) I guess it consists of several factors: 1) the song sounds dated; 2) the lyrics, especially in that chorus (I DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE, YOU DREAM OF LOOOOOOVE~ lol I actually dream of hatred, hatred will prevail >:) ); 3) the vocal volume is loud at parts; 4) the song is English-Croatian and somehow it should be sung in Croatian just to hide away the hideous understandable lyrics. My personal caveats are: 1) the song is too plodding and it shows a lot in that chorus with Roko holding his long notes (can we get tothe point FASTER?!); 2) the chorus lacks productional depth and maybe with a slight revamp (given Jacques wouldn’t be so stubborn about it!) it could have sounded the right amount of dramatic. If anything, I am GRATEFUL that it sounds more palatable than "My Friend", as THAT one was a joyful of cringey clichés tbh. The cheese became rotten and smelly and the sudden violin lead-in into the bridge still creeps me out. Goddamn it Jaq.

Not to mention Mr. Houdek is soooooo optimistic about his song, he finds everything in it perfect enough to not change it! Not the melody, not the language decisions, not the wings (did I tell you Roko wore wings on his NF performance??) - no! Did someone not tell him that Eurovision is rapidly evolving and his fantasies of coming top 3 with this song just better stay fantasies? Oh wait, it's the same man who once sang "dare to dream and make it real", of course he's stuck to his guns like super glue. Can't blame him, there were worse songs in top 3 over the years. Still though, the wings is a stupid idea. There should be something else involved if Jacques wants a performance to be memorable. Roko can't just stand there and only do what he's told to do by his guardian songwriter - granted he has to behave but still...

In the end, how would I summarize this tl;dr? I am one of a handful of folks who find this alright. There's a bigger minority who outright adores the song but I'm just there that likes this and nothing much more, honestly. Everything's just alright. Guess I'm sometimes soft enough to accept cheese, huh. But seriously, the mentoring behind the scenes... it's creepy to say the least. I'm happy Roko's having a helluva good time at least.

Approval factor: Oh I don't know with this one, statistically we can just go ahead and... try approving this? I’m not a huge fan of Croatian entries this decade, at least Slovenia redeemed themselves in my eyes last minute with “Sebi”, while even in my Croatian faves (they mostly are “Nebo” and “Crazy”, and I maaaaaybe like “Lighthouse” a bit too actually?) I see some negative qualities that completely overwhelm my liking for them. But since I legally find “The Dream” okay, I give this one a bit of a pass.

Follow-up factor: Sadly this kind of choice feels to me as a steady divedown in overall quality of what Croatia usually offers us. Well the decline was always on since “My Friend” followed up “Lighthouse” I suppose, or it's just so happens that Croatia sent the duds on this decade only in odd years ("Celebrate" was fun but tragic trash, "Mižerja" was pleasant I guess but everything here was miserable from the beginning and everyone still doesn’t get why “My Friend” qualified and “Crazy” didn’t). I like it though.

Qualification factor: I’d like to believe that this one can borderline sneak the fuck in to the finals for no reason other than Jacques knowing how to work things in his favour. Yes, I’m not writing this off completely. Although I still see some parts where this wouldn’t work out, it’s actually not 100% doomed... if anything, I at least don’t see it coming last in semi easily! It’s not as LAME as Iceland last year was. And it too was a basic love-peace-dreams message inserted into an older-timey-sounding singalong ballad and was given for a young singer that has a helluva lot of potential later ASIDE Eurovision. That is if they don't pretend Eurovision "ruined [their] careers, njeh!", of course. At least Roko can SANG live and maybe it will happen again that a singer's voice will make this surprisngly qualify over the song? We'll see. For now Jacques should just stay focused on how to make Roko's angel wings (sigh...) more memorable on stage in case the voice is not qualifying but the gimmicks are.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

EMA 2019 at least had positive surprises all over for a NF this non-cared-about-by-me. Dora just... did not. Really. This NF did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise, and it even had SIX MORE SONGS than EMA!!! Crazy, huh?? But it’s okay, I can talk about the show to you if you want me to:

• From the Dora participants list announcement I was mostly excited to hear like two entries, and I'll mention both of them right away separately. And it's by two artists I've heard of before a lot! Though this first one kind of made me feel like I've been somewhat betrayed... enter Luka Nižetić who has got a nice vast catalogue of songs now - soft song(s), upbeat summer songs, and so on. And I kinda liked some of those songs of his I heard (if you're looking for recommendations, give "Vječno" a listen!), but “Brutalero”, his actual Dora 2019 entry was... on a whole different level. Dude, when was ripping off “Mi gente” ever useful?? It’s the year people were chasing after “Fuego” as the Latinesque bop to copy, not this! I hate it when people rehash annoying (but catchy) songs, and it’s certainly worse when they do it as their Eurovision NF entry. Brutal. And I actually remember hyping him before hearing the song, which is a bigger facepalm-worthy moment of mine. When will I ever learn?! ;( Thank God for the juries who served this song right. IDC if the revamp version of this made it any better, I’ll be fuming over this not being an inspired song. Oh and the comic book cartoon style made this brutally laughable to me, I said what I said. It might have entertained some kids though. So to summarise, Luka’s capable of having bops out, but “Brutalero” ain’t it, sis.

• Well guess what - Friendship ended with LUKA, Now MANNTRA is my best friend! Hell yeah lol. Did I tell you I like rock music so much? So I really foresaw kind of liking Manntra's song “In the Shadows” and rooting for them based on me knowing their name (just like Luka but oop), and in fact I really did root for them in the end! I wish I supported them more than Luka instead. They’re bangin’. They’re blazin’. They’re pure awesomeness. Their costumes. THAT BREAKDOWN. Magic. Should’ve won, and if them winning were any forbidden because Croatia is just refusing to accept stuff I’d stan for, at least come second. Screw Luka, screw Lorena. Bring the rock music back. ^^

• oh yeah and the others I guess. Well, if I had to recommend a few entries, here goes: if you’re nostalgic for old-timey early 2000′s bops (in the style of “Everyway That I Can”), you go and listen to the aforementioned Lorena Bućan‘s entry, “Tower of Babylon”. If you dreamed of one of the Femminem singers becoming a 60s retro artiste (actually you did not, that sounds very utter random), go check her project’s (Gelato Sisters) entry, “Back to That Swing”. If you’re here for THE QUEEN DOMENICA, go ahead, check out “Indigo”, the ultimate shopping mall background music anthem. My actual other favourite together with Manntra was Beta Sudar though, as “Don’t Give Up” as some really nice pop I guess. You see what I mean when I said that Dora this year did not interest me all that much song-quality-wise? Well ofc some songs were nice but that's all and too much 'just niceness' is slowly breaking me honestly. I would have gladly cancelled the NF and put Manntra through internally instead. Epic boys deserve an epic platform to showcase themselves, I don’t make the rules here.

Thankfully that's that out of the way, now I'm just going to wish this sweet little angel man all the best in Tel Aviv and not to be too upset if he flops. I know Jacques would be upset, but for that he shouldn't put Roko through a similar mind process also...

#eurovision 2019 #tel aviv 2019 reviews #croatia 2019 #roko blažević #the dream #croatia

[jaeminlore]

friends to lovers!ten

prompt: how about a scenario in which the reader enters a convenience store, late night, wearing super fancy clothes and ten works in this store and they talk and sparks fly and there's a little bit of angst but lots of fluff?

okay well so this request immediately made me think of that ten gif where he is wearing those pajama pants nd the black sweater

y'all KNOW the one

i found it and added it ^^

but that outfit comes in a lot later in this scenario so we'll skip it for now

okay so the setting is prom

nd the most popular boy in school asked you so you bought this super fancy dress and wore your nicest heals and jewelry

you even wore fake eyelashes like you wanted to look n i c e

bc you're not very popular in school and you thought your senior year would've gone unnoticed by everyone

but the cutest (*´꒳`*) boy in school asked YOU out and so ofc you accepted

but :(((

unfortunately :(((

said cute boy had only asked you out as a bet

and . . . it hurt

bc you had your insecurities but you thought that for once someone had just seen you for you and had fallen in love w you

or at least liked you like you obv don't think someone has to love you in highschool

it'd be nice tho :'—(

anyway so when you find out (you had heard some girls whispering abt it in the stalls) you left as soon as you could

the popular dude had been your ride

so you called your mom and asked her to pick you up at the convinience store near the school

partly bc you didn't want to stay at that school any longer

but mostly bc you were craving some spicy noodles

you pull off your heels and walk over to the convenience store, smiling softly at the worker at the counter

he looked bored before you walked in, his chin resting on his palm

but when you came in he was all business like suddenly he was standing up straight w a charming smile

"hello i'm ten! let me know if you need any help!"

his eyes trail down your body and his eyebrows lift "oh! were you just at prom? did you have fun?"

you shook your head solemnly

"i went but . . . i didn't have much fun."

"oh" ten frowns before brightening up again "well you look pretty."

"thanks"

you feel a little flustered at his words, since he sounds so genuine

"um— i'm gonna buy noodles now,,,,,"

nd you probably scurry away from him as quick as you can bc you already feel humiliated

like the only thing left is to have a crush on the convenience store worker just bc he called you pretty

you snatch your favorite brand of noodles and go over to the lil station, pouring the boiling water into the bowl before heading back to the counter

you pay for the noodles, and when ten hands you back your change his fingers brush your palm and you're just

blushing aGAin

you plan to eat the noodles outside bc there's no way you're going to stay in the store

but ten kinda leans over and asks

"can i eat w you? my break is soon and since you’re the only customer . . . would it be okay?"

his cheeks are kinda pink as he asks, and his eyes are avoiding your gaze as he stares at a soda stain left on the counter

u rlly don't wanna say yes

bc you just want to be alone in your misery

but also ... he looks so nervous you rlly didn't have the heart to reject him

"sure. but let's eat outside."

suddenly he gets the bRiGhTeSt smile on his face!!!! and he's like just let me make some hot chocolate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you actually have no idea how lonely ten is

esp tonight bc he had to take a shift at the gas station while his school had prom

and of course he wanted to go bc prom is like the one time you can dance and no one makes fun of you for it

but his boss would not let him take his shift off so :(

and he doesn't think you know him bc the two of you are in completely different social groups

he is on the dance team and participates in musical theater

you are on the swim team and spend any other time in the library

ten knows you bc he thinks you're really cute :,,,,)

and he was going to ask you to prom

but

in the locker room after gym he overheard one of the popular boys talk abt bringing you and he knew he couldn't compete

so he never asked

fate must've intervened and brought you to him, so he took advantage of the situation and asked to eat with you

you're already eating when he arrives w his hot coco and a cup of noodles

it's an odd combination but you don't criticize it

"so, y/n, what brings you to my humble workplace?"

you narrow your eyes "you know me?"

"we go to the same school," ten answers, and he can see the obvious awkwardness in your eyes bc you genuinely don't recognize him "it's okay, we aren't friends or anything. i just know you bc you're on the swim team and my friend doyoung is the captain."

"ah! doyoung!" you say, thinking of your captain who always nags you to keep up your fitness regime. you wonder what he would say if he saw you with a sodium-packed cup of noodles

"he's annoying. nags too much."

ten laughs, and it's chirpy and bright and so wonderful that you find yourself leaning in to hear it more clearly

"he's always been like that," ten supplies, "he didn't even want mark or donghyuck to go to prom tonight bc he was afraid someone would spike the punch bowl"

"i think i saw that yuta kid pouring some tequila in it earlier."

the two of you compare nagging mom!doyoung stories before ten brings up the elephant in the room

"so why are you here, and not at prom?"

"oh. well I found out i was asked on a bet. something like who could bring the biggest loser as their prom date or something. i didn't stay around for the details."

ten is mad. you can't see it, bc he's rlly good at hiding his anger

but his jaw is clenched and his fists are going full arthur meme under the table

he just doesn't understand why someone would do that to anyone, let alone the person he liked the most in school

you don't even seem that bothered by it anymore, having gotten your noodles and disposed of your fake eyelashes and heels

(you save the eyelashes for another use tho obv those things are expensive)

and ten kinda has the urge to ask you to go to prom with him

it must have an hour left, and he could close up the store early (even if he would have to hear from his boss the next day)

but you could get the prom you wanted, and he could dance beside the prettiest girl in the room

"hey, y/n?"

you don't hear him, because a minivan is pulling into the parking lot, and you're already walking towards it. "I'll see you at school, ten! thanks for hanging out w me!"

"oh. no problem!" he gives you a wave and a halfhearted smile before turning around to clean everything up and return to his shift

he's very sad that he missed out on his opportunity w you

fast forward >>>>>>>>>>

two weeks later, and you're cramming for final exams while simultaniously training for the last swim meet of the year

and you're v v busy

but also you just want a break

and doyoung has had the whole team on a no carb diet bc he wants everyone to have suburb energy burned by vegetables alone

and all you're craving are some spicy noodles from the convienice store

you also kind of want to see ten again

ever since prom night you've noticed him around school and your heart gives a lil stir every time he sends you a smile or tiny wave

bc he's so cute :(

and you can't believe you haven't noticed him before :/

but at least you know him now :)

so anyway you decide to visit the store he works at in the hopes of gaining enough energy to be able to finish studying for your finals

you also rlly want ten to be there bc you highkey want to ask him on a date

bc he’s rlly cute and he was so kind to you that he just makes your heart go zoooooOOOoOoOOOoommmmmMMMMmm

so you go completely dressed down compared to last time 

like your hair isn't even brushed lololol

when you arrive,,, ten isn't there :(

instead it’s this old guy behind the counter and he kind of sneers at you before going back to watching the lq tv in the corner

although it sucks that ten isn't there, you go to the back to find the same instant noodles you found last time

and low and behold!!!!

i bet you guys cant guess what happens next bc this is so unpredictable ;)

ten is there!!!

this is where the gif comes in bc he’s dressed in his pajamas too with an oversized sweater and messy hair that brushes over his eyes and U DNjkzwbfjdjfbbfjewbfe you gET it

“ten?”

he jerks around from looking at a packaged cheese danish (you KNOW he would don't argue w me!)

“y/n?” his smile grOWS “what’re you doing here?”

you shrug “i came for snacks..... and maybe you”

“me??” and ten is blushing !!! bc his crush is looking for him!!!! 

“well.... you found me”

“yeah...” you don't really know what to do next, so you just hold up the cup of noodles,, “do you wanna ... idk ... eat w me?”

a cheeky smile appears on ten’s face and he just kind of asks,,, “is this a date, y/n?”

“idk do you want it to be?”

“tbh yeah”

“yay bc me too”

yall are just two cuties who like eating together outside of the convenience store

nd when you have your swim meet ten is the loudest cheerer in the crowd

when your team wins he runs up and kisses you in front of everyone!!!! bc he’s extra!!!! nd doyoung chides him for it bc you have to go get your award but ten doesn't care!!!!

anyway yeah that's friends to lovers ten

:’)

the end

#ten au #nct ten au #ten scenario #ten scenarios #nct ten scenario #nct ten scenarios #ten imagines #nct ten imagine #nct ten imagines #ten imagine #ten fluff #ten angst #ten x reader #nct scenarios #nct scenario #nct imagines #nct imagine #nct fluff #nct angst #nct au #friends to lovers au #destwrites

[lonespektr]

Starting back Vikings again randomly........

blue eyes still hasn't fucked that priest

When's he gonna bang the priest, he doesn't like his new wife 🤷🏾‍♀️

Rollo needs a win/ cmon lady archers

Stop listening to random men, every main character gets bad advice from randos

Very deliberate word choice

Blue eyes is do butthurt his boyfriend is not coming with him priest is literally staying for you, you blockhead

Men are idiots

Tomgirls trying to sit still and look pretty when they clearly want to punch people

They keep using attempted rape for her power ups and they could do literally anything else

Glad the mrs is back

She's worried about jr but it looks like he can fight brother still absolutely in love with the mom cause she's a bad bitch

But he would have cheated too soo 🤷🏾‍♀️

He's big but it doesn't look like he hits hard, he's moving frantically, he doesn't lean into his hits??

The bows are used in short range i feel like it's that accurate??!!

Nobody is hyped the mrs is home and i feel like that was a wasted opportunity

Priest is attracted to bad people

Everybody got a shower

Who ever is subing the sound effects is a fucking poet Every grunt has a adjective

Always gotta upstage your brother just fukkkin relax

He's rejected the sacrament dunt dun dun!!!

Cheese and crackers woman how many boys you churnin out

What's the science? Boys are faster swimmers so short vagina?? I forget

She's gloating

Yea no shit. He don't even like that other future telling bitch

Rollo just stick with old girl u are bad at politics

This is a very sexual prayer priest

You tryina get what by the holy spirit??!! Save that for blue eyes

Thorvard big as fuck

That boy ain't got no right being that big his parents is normal sized

If i wanted to say it in private i wouldn't fucckkin come down to long house

Who's fuckkin army is that , just her homies?? She got warrior homies?

Ah she just wanted to threaten the general community that if anything happen to hey son it's they ass

Yea those'r just her homies

Another sexual assault threat but in an unexpected turn is events his kinsman ain't down with that shit and backed her

Infamous wings pf the vikings

More sexual assault threats

Whoever is writing these subtitles is a fucking legend

Priest new boyfriend is in wooing his old boyfriend's ex wife and he has to be an awkward translator

Wack what a serious waste of ambition

Them two rando little boys already died they really gotta take the one bitch was leadership vibes

She threw away throne thrown for dinner snot nose kids

He play too much, but they are great together

Preist done diddled that brown hair plain and not blue eyes

Vikings does appear to have a strict all rapists must die policy (marital rape excluded- even that's appears to have consequences)

Surprised they let siggs go but i think she landed a better role, shes a bigger actor then all em

I still don't know which god he was supposed to be. Guess i gotta brush up on my norse history

What's rollo gonna go without his political advisor

That guy coulda had a bigger role but this was 6+years ago and he was not as big then so..makes sense

Preist talking shit about women knowin damn well he just left a perfectly boring one to be with sky eyes

Hypocrisy , ungrateful ass volunteer to help the mother of your child

Screw everybody and they mama, leave yo wife month at a time with no backup booty

Why you only slept with yo wife once? 🤨

Seer tied of yo ass

Sky eyes just move to Paris with the preist

They are doing a sharp turn with him that is uncharacteristic, they haven't done a power corruption thing or anything to transition him from opportunist to greed

Also wtf boo /This is your earldom ??? You just gon stand there?

Still holding with the rapist get stitches law

Burning cross bit heavy handed

Bjorn tell your wack ass absentee father to back your mom

Yea we have been here before, cause your dad keeps fucckin up, you forget last time you left with her cause you knew he was wrong

Blue eyes has become a kind of apathetic shell without preist and wifee no1

Um wtf was that with the 👀

Just fuck already

Can the women have a story not around babies

Where rollo headed?

This is evidence of a turning point we should have gotten a half step before this

Except she was taking care of the one kid you ignore and you know damn well that priss don't do no work and her servants watch her kids anyway

Lol whut person or persons unknown, but you have evidence?

King got plans on plans on plans

Do they just not know what to do with the preist anymore??

Hey least he said it

That was the least intimate interaction he's had with anyone

Disrespect on disrespect

I think they are going to do something stupid with her 🙄 looking forward to that

Woah full stop yikes 😬

Another unforced error. I knew they were gon do some dumb shit with her, no he actin stupid too

This really there seasons about an unrequited love story

It gets boring when the main character is white male tyrannical and off his rocker - when he's not a zealot

Mentally ill opportunist are not very complelling

I'm annoyed blondie is really confessing to a man who has been treating her like shit for the past decade because a first good decade

Unforced errors and making her stupid is something shows love to do with women

But they gave her so much pride it doesn't make sense

I thought maybe they all knew, but it's just bjorn

Blue eyes was hoping for a confession

Why do you tear me away from myself

Trojan horse is the only thing that ever made sense with impregnable walls even with that hint he still couldn't figure it out, he had to almost die

Rollo is out here now? Why doing what?

I mean tbh is a really good idea to get away from your brother

Oh so the King isn't a complete idiot, just a coward

Another betray your brother situation 🙄

Just let rollo needs live

All our protagonists are isolated

He still didn't get that confession

Oh he just said it

What was the point of that Christian coming to visit?

Lit of obsessive unhealthy male relationships

Floki/Ragnar

Althestan/Ragnar

Ragnar/ rollo

How would rollo even convince the remaining vikings to go against their own

Now we must be subjected to this embarrassment

Co Earls, this guy is a not confused about his endgame

He should have just married her when she asked

There is one asian

If this the season where the non whites enter? They should have done that in Paris

He's an absentee father but he's annoyed his kids are stupid

Floki bb hella cute

It's odd the show has isolated everyone

He's such as gaslighter

The only stable relationship is the ones between the mentally unstable people

The two best pairings were both uneccesairly antagonistic towards each other

What's rollo doing

Le sigh she's smiling because she thinks he backed her , finally someone did she deserves to be supported

But he only backs himself

Time inside learning could be useful for him

Even rollo is not this stupid soooo 🤷🏾‍♀️

Blue eyes mad that his wife doesn't give a shit about him, knowing damn well he don't give a shit about her

Rollo 👏🏾 isn't 👏🏾 stupid👏🏾

He also wouldn't ally himself with strangers 🤷🏾‍♀️ it's a repeat pattern of making the wrong allies but this don't make sense

Hopefully bjorn gets more interesting

Or another woman character not attached to a damn man comes in

1 poc is already gettin eyeballed by ol blue eyes

What old lady would be concerned with getting revenge on is wessex king who raised her new settlement to the ground

There's that projection again blue eyes

The rollo situation is getting close to puppy punching

He looses his accent a lot

Blue eyes has odd codependencies

Man has no loyalists but strong affections that look like loyalty from afar

Why are they all obsessed with this fucking guy

Predatory men who pretend to be small and unassuming to trick women

She choked those words out, I wonder how many takes they made her do before they went with that one

This descent into madness isn't nearly as entertaining as they think

That's the first time he's called her by her first name

Curious move bjorn /curious situation they pulled moms into

They make women look stupid by having them smiling the whole time while men who are being equally deceived look suspiciously but they are tricked just the same

Once again he just identifies foreigners as roadmaps to conquer new lands

Gaslighter all these men are gaslighters

All these braids and this is the first time i've seen one of the man brushing they hair

It's going to be four full seasons of wounded mentally ill drug addicted blue eyes??

there it is, that was his dream, not the crazed ambitions of winning for winnings sake

Opportunistic and talented or rather lucky is different than tyrannical and that's what they are playing him as with no foundation

I know she tired of these dirty whites raggety ass wash rags she want a real bath with soap

Random edge play over the top hair cutting symbolism

That bb old enough too...ok

The girls were ready. And he even ain't mad because she told him straight up she was going to kill him

She doesn't want to remarry, she's better boss ass bitch but it's fucked up she can't just have a decent man partner and equal but these men are trifling they may as well get her a girlfriend

Is the seer dead?

It's 13 right?

Heavy handed women freedom theme happening

#vi #kings

[lumos-star684]

All of them. Just to be a pain

Can’t believe I’m about to answer these but its either this or a marketing assignment so here goes…

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes! 

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

blank revision cards and raffle tickets

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

white with sugar

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

yes

6: do you keep plants?

non but i would like to (in fact, I’m going to buy one next week)

7: do you name your plants?

nope

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

none im not very creative :(

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

yep

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

side or stomach usually

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

hmmm can’t think of this (wait you should know this any idea?)

12: what’s your favorite planet?

Pluto

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

my little niece started talking to me about flying pigs

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

like the friends apartment with loads of little quirky shit

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

Venus is the only planet that spins backwards relative to the other planets.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

good ole simple pasta with tomato sauce and cheese

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

dark purple 

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i have no stories omg 

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

non

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

don’t have one in particular, depends on the person really 

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

there was my little karrimor rucksack that i had all throughout (most of ) secondary school and it broke on the day before the last day of Year 11 but still holds a special place in my heart

22: are you a morning person?

nooooooooo (unless its morning where you’ve been up all night)

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

make tea and watch tv

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

nope (i don’t have a lot of secrets though??)

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

a hotel kitchen (by accident i should add)

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

at the moment, my black boots

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

mint?? idek

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

there’s this one little shit that always sends me asks on tumblr

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

yes

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about sock

socks, my friend, are a fucking brilliant invention. i have a bit of love-hate relationship with socks because i feel like they confine your feet (i mean why would you want to lock your feet into little pockets of cloth?) but on the other hand THEY’RE SO CUTE. little socks with funky patterns and little animals and the super soft house socks as well. having said that, all my socks are black with either pink purple or blue on the foot and heel parts. SO, my favourite thing to do is always wear mismatched socks - but nobody can tell because the main part of the sock is black. It’s like a little secret I can wear all day knowing that my socks are not the same even though it looks like they are.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

we’d just left a club in prague and headed over to burger king. we sat down and then out of nowhere in the middle of prague this group of gujarati kids came and sat down next to us. I had a conversation with them and forgot that the other girls hadn’t the foggiest idea what the fuck we were talking about. we were leaving and then one of them asked me to marry him……

33: what’s your fave pastry?

er…something with chocolate? or apples

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

there was this little black dog that used to be my sister’s, i can’t remember what i used to call him but I’ve still got him somewhere

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

I absolutely love them but can never bring myself to use them (I eventually did and my Latin notes are so fucking pretty)

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

Bahamas

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

messy but organised messy

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

when people walk slowly in the middle of the street and when people think they’re better than you

39: what color do you wear the most?

black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i have a little harry potter necklace i got for my 16th which i wear almost every day

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

me before you

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

don’t like coffee shops much

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

nobody

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

last sunday

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

no lol they’re shit

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

all puns are good puns

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

ermm dunnoo

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

can’t remember exactly what my biggest fear was, but it’s not the same as today (although probably quite similar)

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

nope don’t own any

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

empty glue sticks

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

you - la vie en rose

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

LOOL some of the trump and theresa may ones have been pretty good

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

no but they’re all on my list to watch

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

probably a stranger on the train

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

moved out 

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

people tagging in posts and memes

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

currently ill in bed so i didn’t even move -_-

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

keef is the wine mom and i reckon you will be the vodka aunt :)

59: what’s your favorite myth?

there was this one where zeus was cheating on hera and when he got caught he turned the woman into a cow

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

yes! usually just snippets i read on the internet though

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

given is what we gave keef and received…i don’t think ive ever received a stupid gift?

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

sometimes yes, either the innocent strawberry and banana smoothie or the orange and passionfruit tropicana

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

music yes, it all has to be in particular playlists and books no, they’re just stacked randomly

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

bright blueee

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

you :( and a couple of people from school actually

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

tiny little black red and purple flowers

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

a bit eh actually, but also nice if i’m inside and in bed

68: what’s winter like where you live?

not great, just a bit grim and rainy and no snow

69: what are your favorite board games?

monopolyyyy

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

nope

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

breakfast tea

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

1000000% yes

73: what are some of your worst habits?

picking at the skin around my fingers and overthinking (the standard tbh)

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

newcastle born and bred sarcastic little shit who can be a bit annoying but also has a heart of gold

75: tell us about your pets!

MY LITTLE BABYYYYY Goghi is my cat - black with little white paws, a white stripe down her front and a white moustache. Softest fucking fur EVER. She has one funny eye, hates people and sleeps all day. I also have about twenty fish in the pond and two little ones in a tank inside. Varying sizes and no names

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

a marketing assignment, the laundry and cleaning my room 

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

noooo idea..

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

fanclub. they’re one in a minion those things

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

little things like when people come and see me i cant think of a particular example

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

beige and nope we just painted the whole house that colour

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

*can’t remember what anyone’s eyes look like*

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was a pretty good student

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

the airborne toxic event and green day’s american idiot

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

yesss but not sure yet!

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

nope

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

i have never heard of concept albums (upon googling it appears i do like some of them, yes)

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

3 idiots, dead poets society and kuch kuch hota hai amongst others

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

non

89: are you close to your parents?

eh

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Londonnn - its just….everything (but also expensive)

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

croatia, Bosnia and Herzegovina  and hopefully a couple of other city breaks

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

drowns

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

hair down if its straight or pony tail if its curly

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

my little cousin’s birthday was yesterday

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

stay in be all weekend drink tea and eat soup

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

procrastinate, all the time

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

INTJ/INTP, gemini and ravenclaw

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

ncs? loved it but also hated it because i don’t like climbing

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

Current favourites: Sometime Around Midnight, Vampire Smile and Wasn’t Expecting That

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

Future - five years ago i was there and twas a bit shite

oh my god you don’t know how long those took me YOU BETTER READ THEM ALL @findinganiqa XXX

#aniqaunderground #messages #bloody hell this is long #this took me all week