#I think about Razlo more than I do Livio so I’m down | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

deludedfantasy · 8 months

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Trimax Vol 10 Ch 5-8

All I can say is that it's somehow worse the second time around and I have lots of feelings about it.

Ch 5

It’s a final battle in more ways than one, if you think about it. Which I’m trying not to, but failing very hard at.

Something about Wolfwood using the Punisher as a shield just gets me. Using a weapon meant to harm and kill to protect instead. It’s a metaphor for who he is.

Whoa! Wolfwood’s trick with the magazine is just so clever and out there. He’s such a smart and calculated fighter when he has a goal and isn’t just mindlessly fulfilling his mission.

As we watch Wolfwood fight Razlo, we get a glimpse of Vash watching. We’re reminded that he’s been told to stand back and let Wolfwood handle this alone. And we also see how he’s raging at it.

It honestly reminds me of how much earlier Zazie called Vash a bystander to humanity’s destruction. And here he is, doing that again, on a much more personal level. But it’s not because he refuses to interfere. It’s because he’s respecting his friend’s choice to do something important alone, and he’s raging at it. Vash doesn’t actually like being the bystander, being on the outside, he wants to be part of it and he wants to help.

Wolfwood is pulling out all the stops for this fight. He’s sword fighting with the Punisher, using his ammo as a weapon, and apparently getting faster and faster. He’s decided he’s going to die, but if he is, he’s gonna do it in a blaze of glory.

There is definitely some symbolism in Razlo’s mask being blown off. There’s no more hiding between one personality or another, because they’re the same.

Oh wow, that’s really gory. I’m actually wondering if that thing I saw go flying earlier wasn’t a mask but literally part of his face.

Ch 6

It’s telling that in the end, Wolfwood throws aside the Punisher. He finishes off Razlo with his own fists rather than with a weapon of punishment. Because he might be hurting him, but he’s not trying to destroy him. He’s trying to save his brother and he’ll do that with his own hands.

In between, we get these glimpses again of Vash watching and at first, he’s blank-faced, we can’t read his expression.

But then we see him scream, tears running down his face. He’s suffering, watching Wolfwood do this alone and knowing he’s dying all the while. And there’s nothing he can do to stop it. He wants to save his friend, but he can’t, and it breaks something in him. It’s heart-wrenching.

Oh…right after Vash cries out Wolfwood starts coughing up a fountain of blood. Someone mentioned that with Vash’s superhuman abilities he could probably feel and hear as Wolfwood’s body shut down. He’s screaming because he can literally feel Wolfwood getting closer and closer to death.

The only time Vash interferes is to stop Razlo’s goons from attacking Wolfwood. That’s all he can do. Allow Wolfwood to save his brother himself and let nothing stop him from doing that. He takes to that mission whole-heartedly. And oh, is he angry while he does it. I can hear the gravel in his voice when he says, “Don’t interfere.” He’s got his guns pressed to their throats. Would he fire if they moved? We don’t know, but with the rage in his eyes, I say maybe. Vash has finally found what he’s willing to kill for.

Livio comes back for a moment! He stops Razlo from killing Wolfwood because he still cares about his brother. This isn’t someone Razlo has to protect him from and he’s finally fighting back.

HOW. HOW IS CHAPEL NOT DEAD?

Razlo finally sees Chapel for what he is. Not the caring mentor, but the obsessive, conniving old man he is. He would shoot one of his own disciples if they were getting the way of what he wanted. Poor Razlo, alone for so long and having given all of his twisted love and devotion to his man, suddenly realizes Chapel didn’t care about him as anything other than a tool and extension of himself. And as always, Razlo’s volatility and impulsivity come into play. That is finally what gets Chapel permanently killed. I think there’s something poetic about that.

Livio is giving me a lot of feelings I can barely articulate right now. But I’m going to try anyway.

He’s been trapped inside Razlo for this whole fight, watching him destroy his brother, the one person who had ever cared about him and showed him kindness. Livio watches how Wolfwood fights back against Chapel and everything he’s been taught to be a better man, a protector, the person he’s always wanted to be. We know Livio has been lost for a long time, and that once he wanted to be a protector, because he thought it was the only way he could be loved. Watching Wolfwood fight for him again reminds him of that, and when he sees that now he might kill that man, he finds the strength to stop Razlo.

Not only that, he apologizes to Razlo! Livio used him to escape his abuse and put Razlo through living hell, to the point that he didn’t know anything else. He’s acknowledging that neither of them deserved that. But still, it’s time for Livio to take responsibility for his actions and find a new path forward. He wants to be like Wolfwood. He wants to try, he wants to change.

How would it make Vash feel knowing that Wolfwood caused that kind of massive shift in someone else? I think, once he gets past the anger of what Livio did to Wolfwood, he’d be really proud of him.

Wolfwood will take any opportunity to smoke, huh? He’s nearly dead, but he’s celebrating his success.

Ch 7

Oh my god, not little Wolfwood again. And on the day he leaves the orphanage. My heart can’t take this.

The orphanage was his home, the only place he ever knew happiness, and for all the years that Wolfwood was in the Eye, he kept it in his heart as the place where he was loved. They never managed to rip that away from him, even if he believed they’d destroyed his humanity. He was once part of something beautiful, and he would protect it with everything he had, even if he was no good anymore. Because he still wanted to be welcomed home.

Listen, Nightow, your timelines are so wonky because if it’d only been six years, Wolfwood is max nineteen. I get his body has been aged past his years but in no way is that man a teenager. In my head, I’m just pretending that says, “Its been many years since then.”

Oh no, not the kids screaming when they see him. It just reaffirms his beliefs about himself, that all he is is a monster. And Vash tries to explain things, but Wolfwood won’t let him!

He hates himself so much, but God, his face here. Many others have pointed it out but when Wolfwood tells Vash to leave it, he looks so soft, young, and vulnerable. For the first time since we’ve met him. He doesn’t want to be a monster, he just wants to be loved and recognized by his old family, but he hates himself too much to even take the risk of letting them know him as both Nico and the man he is now.

Wolfwood has already made his decision. Vash might’ve once said that Wolfwood isn’t lost, but he’s decided that it’s going to end here. He tells Melanie to not tell the kids the truth about him and he tells Vash that he’s not getting on the shuttle. But worst of all, he pulls out those coins and tells him that’s who he really is. He’s Vash’s friend, he’s a killer, one of the Gung Ho Guns. He doesn’t deserve to go back to his family. He doesn’t deserve the chance, the hope, of living.

Vash even says to him, “You’re running out of time.” He means it in more ways than one. The shuttle is leaving soon, but also, Wolfwood’s life is running out. Does Vash hope that if Wolfwood gets on the shuttle, they’ll be able to save him? There’s no way to know that, but there’s hope, and Vash has always had hope.

And then they bicker like everything’s fine and it’s just like old times. Because what else can you do in the worst of times but fall back on what’s comfortable and familiar?

There’s that drink Wolfwood promised him for surviving the fight…

Even in his last moments, Wolfwood is trying to soften the blow of his own death. Telling Vash to smile, that he looks good when he does, that he was wrong to ever tell him that he looks sad when he does it. He just wants to see his friend smile and know he’ll be okay.

Despite all the things Vash would do for him, this one thing he can’t. Because then that smile would be fake and he can’t do that to either of them.

And Vash, who has never relied on anyone but himself, to whom a higher power is likely a bit of a joke because for so long, he was the highest power—he begs God to let his friend live.

The grief here is so palpable, I’m crying as I write this.

The confetti…they all still love him, even as he is. They are welcoming him home in his last moments.

This page brings me to tears. We’ve never, not once, seen Wolfwood cry, not now, not until he’s dying. Is this scream a final defiant cry against the universe? Is it him realizing he doesn’t want to die because he’s finally realized that he’s loved, that he was always loved? I don’t know. We’ll never know. That’s why it hits so hard.

The past few pages have been so atmospheric that I can hear all of it in my head. The bell finally tolls, the one Wolfwood has been ignoring this whole time. The sound the bottle makes as it falls from his fingers. Each one distinct in the silence surrounding his death.

Vash is left alone. The man he realized he wanted to live for is gone. We can’t see his eyes, just the reflection of his glasses and he’s clutching at the sleeve of his jacket.

Ch 8

These panels did something to me the first time I read them. Vash’s words have been echoing in my head for months. They’re so blunt. “He’s dead. I buried him.” Have we ever known him to be so harsh and direct? Is he angry at Livio for indirectly causing Wolfwood’s death? Because Wolfwood died saving him when he could have killed him? But he’s also deathly calm. His eyes are blank. He’s locked everything down rather than feel it.

You know what else haunts me? We never see Vash bury him. Their final moments together. How he dug the hole, how he picked up Wolfwood and placed him in his grave, arranged his body, and filled it back in, dragging the tombstone over the top. Was he this calm when he did that? Was he raging? Was he screaming and crying? We don’t know and I don’t think Vash is ever going to tell. It’s possible he’s blocked it out entirely because it’s too much to handle.

I personally think all of his feelings came out while he was burying him. Now, he’s pushed them away in favor of the mission he has to accomplish. Because he can’t let Wolfwood’s sacrifice go to waste.

When Vash answers Livio’s question, he’s pretty harsh too. “You of all people should know why.” He’s definitely angry and as much as he has the rest of his feelings tightly under control, that isn’t. On some level, he does blame Livio and he can’t hold himself back from letting it be known.

The moment when Vash uses his powers is so interesting. So far, we’ve seen him use the Angel Arm to protect himself and Wolfwood. But in this instance, we can argue that he used it to attack. Sure, Knives was going to destroy the orphanage while Vash and Livio were still in there and Vash protected against it. He did more than that though. He attacked. The way I read this is he blasted that power back with his own attached to it, and he cuts Knives. This is the first time we’ve seen him actually hurt him, despite how often Vash claims he’s out to kill him. This was a deliberate use of his power to hurt and destroy, and it’s the first time we see his philosophy shift, just a little.

Now though, he’s eating his feelings. Which is interesting, because the last time Vash experienced a traumatic monumental event like this, he couldn’t eat. But as we see, both Livio’s and Vash’s best memories of Wolfwood are tied up with food. They’re eating to get their strength back, but also to honor his memory. He was always trying to take care of them and now they’re taking care of themselves.

It sucks that the only things they have left of Wolfwood are his weapons. He was a protector, but what he has left behind are implements of death and destruction. Especially the Punisher. The only thing Vash has left of his friend is his burden. It’s bittersweet that he uses it as his gravemarker, specifically as a cross rather than a weapon. Wolfwood may have been made into a weapon, but he’ll be remembered for his mercy.

Also, I'm taking recommendations for fix-it fics where Wolfwood lives, is resurrected, reincarnated, etc. My heart could use some healing, pls and thank you.

#trigun #trigunbookclub

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deludedfantasy · 8 months

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Trimax Vol 13 Ch 5-9

Part 2 of my thoughts on volume 13! In which I manage to get very emotional about Vash, Livio, Wolfwood, and even Legato.

Ch 5

When Livio is truly in danger, when he’s really scared, that’s when Razlo comes out. He never actually left! Razlo is always going to be a part of Livio. The question is whether Livio will be able to communicate with him, rather than let him have complete control to do whatever he wants.

Currently, it looks like Razlo is 100% in control because I can’t imagine Livio fighting like this. Purposefully putting himself in the way of Elendira’s gun so it jams, but also hurting himself more in the process? That’s a reckless thing to do, even with LR’s regeneration abilities and from what we’ve seen of Livio’s fighting skills, he’s very cautious. He’s not afraid to take a hit, but he certainly wouldn’t throw himself in front of one, even if it would get him the advantage. Sometimes, he fights like he doesn’t have those regeneration abilities.

Oh, I didn’t notice that earlier! Those smaller semi-automatic cross-shaped guns are exclusively Livio’s weapons. Razlo, since he’s the Tri-p of Death, only fought with Punishers. But there’s something symbolic in him fighting with Livio’s guns now. They’re much lighter, easier to move. But for Livio they don’t carry the same burden of guilt that the Punishers do.

Elendira’s true power appears to be some kind of psychic projection/manipulation that takes advantage of a person’s natural instincts/bloodlust. If I’m understanding this correctly.

Oh well, that’s horrifying. I remember when I first read this, I was so distraught because I thought Livio was dead! But then you realize, he’s not! Elendira’s projecting a vision on him.

I also can’t tell if the way Elendira’s body, specifically her hands, are elongating is part of the vision or if she’s actually morphing a little. Either way, that’s so messed up.

You know what that reminds me of? When Wolfwood had that horrifying vision of being torn apart after he brought Vash to the Ark way back in volume 7. Who did he happen to be standing in front of when it happened? Elendira. But he assumes it isn't her, probably because he doesn’t know much about her. He thinks it was probably Chapel because he’s the one who has a vendetta against him, but we never see Chapel doing anything like that again or exhibiting any sort of power like that.

Why would Elendira do it then? As we know, Elendira likes to mess with people. She ultimately doesn’t care about Wolfwood’s betrayal of the Eye, but she thinks it’s fun to torment people. Just look at how she treats Legato all the time. Now, she actively hates him, but still, I feel like she wouldn’t pass up an opportunity to mess with Wolfwood who she also seemed a little antagonistic with, if not in a slightly, let’s say, nicer way than she is with Legato.

Ch 6

Elendira is much more powerful than either Livio or Razlo. Her psychic abilities are keeping him down and she’s constantly beating on him to keep him from regenerating too quickly. Much like Wolfwood was when he fought Razlo. Which is an interesting parallel to draw right now.

Is that…Wolfwood’s last vial? I wonder why it’s making an appearance now. Is it related to Elendira’s comment about how Razlo has never been so thoroughly defeated? Because the vial reminds us that he was, by Wolfwood. Who gave everything up in order to do that and save Livio. Is that what gives him the sudden will to fight against Elendira’s control?

Oh, and that’s when Livio switches back! He regains control because he remembers who he’s fighting for and why he’s doing it.

The switch was involuntary. It was a fall back to old ways, to let Razlo do the hard stuff. And again he apologizes to him for it, for putting him into a tough situation, especially when he promised he’d be able to handle the tough things on his own. But at the same time, I don’t want Livio to think he can’t ever ask for help, even if it’s from his other personality. Because I do think they can help each other, if they figure out how to work together.

No, Livio!!! He’s never felt this kind of pain before because he’s always had Razlo there to protect him and take the brunt of it. But he’s not weak. Everything he’s done up until now shows that. It took a lot of strength to get where he is and I wish he could see that.

But Razlo!!! He’s protecting Livio again, but in a different way. He’s not letting him mope (in very Razlo fashion). He tells him to get up and keep going. He helps him, and this time, they fight together, each one using their strengths to aid the other. They’re starting to work as one.

All I have to say for this part of the fight is YEAHHHH, GO LR!!!!

When they fight together, they’re unstoppable! Razlo’s reflexes with Livio’s skill make for one hell of a fighter.

Ch 7

So far, Livio has apologized to Razlo twice for what he put him through in order to survive, but now…he’s also thanking him! By saying I owe you, he’s acknowledging how much Razlo has helped him and gotten him through some really tough times.

Training montage! Livio is trying to “keep up” with Razlo and his prowess, not realizing that since they exist in the same body together, they can share that knowledge. Up until this fight, he’s treated Razlo like a separate being rather than part of him.

GOOOOO RAZLO. HYPE UP LIVIO!!!

He’s so right. They’re a duo, a team! If Razlo’s the strongest, so is Livio

Hey, uhhh did Elendira rip Livio in half? And cut off his arm? That’s…concerning. And there are entrails everywhere, yikes.

I’m assuming that tank-thing is the nuclear weapon that Elendira has been after? Her back-up plan for the destruction of the world in case Knives fails.

Truly, Livio is the only person who can stand against Elendira because he just keeps on regenerating from injuries that would have killed other people ten times over.

But also, it’s because Livio is fighting for something and he’s not doing it alone. He’s doing it with Razlo, rather than by himself. And, in a way, Wolfwood. Wolfwood’s final gift to Livio was that vial, and Livio will use it to survive this and kill Elendira. An interesting parallel to Wolfwood using the vials to give himself the strength to finish the fight and get what he wanted, but die in the process.

“To me, to Razlo, and to him.” The way these words are arranged on the page pack a punch. You’re not expecting the “to him” and even without saying his name, we know who Livio is talking about. Wolfwood’s presence is so strong even though he’s gone. He really does haunt the narrative.

Ch 8

So question: can Livio regrow limbs like a starfish? Because his arm and leg are smoking in the way it does when he heals. But does it heal as a stump or does it regenerate? I guess that question will be answered when we (hopefully) see him again.

I just realized Livio impaled Elendira on the nail that was stuck through him. That’s just…wow. I need to go back and reread that fight because I can’t remember how or where he got it.

Oh…this is the first time in three volumes anyone has said Wolfwood’s name, and it was Livio. And he called him Nicholas!! We’ve rarely, if ever, seen him referred to by his first name so this makes me feel like I’m chewing on glass.

Livio just wants Nicholas to be proud of him, to see that he’s living up to his sacrifice and doing good. I’m gonna cry.

How does Legato know Elendira is dead? Is this a return of Legato’s brief psychic abilities that were never mentioned again?

I know Vash is burning himself out doing this, but it says a lot that his powers have been manifesting as defense mechanisms recently, and incredibly powerful ones. He’s not a weapon, he’s a shield and a protector.

Can we talk about how Legato’s insane Iron Maiden gun is named Guernica? There’s a lot to unpack there. I’m thinking of Picasso’s painting about the gruesome bombing of Guernica, and honestly? That’s fitting.

Oh, it’s a young Legato? AT JULY? I completely forgot about this flashback.

I see now, it’s not the psychic powers that Legato is using to locate people. It’s his wires. That’s how he finds Knives and probably how he knew Elendira was dead.

Legato was ready to kill Vash in July. He probably would have succeeded if it wasn’t for Conrad and his more pressing concerns about keeping Knives alive. This is another instance of new information making some of Legato’s previous actions make more sense.

His devotion to Knives, but also his early game with Vash, sending assassins after him in revenge for what he did to Knives in July—it’s more than the fact that Vash did it. Legato saw it. He saw the gruesome, bloody remains of Knives’s body and the utter destruction surrounding him. We know how devoted he is and we see how drastically he reacts in the moment. He can’t let Vash get away with so nearly destroying the being he has devoted his life to, no matter what Knives’s wishes might be.

Knives is so terrible. It’s not like this is news, but the audacity. Someone is distraught and crying over you and he tells Legato that he’s being annoying? What an asshole. He spits in the face of all of Legato’s loyalty. Sometimes it really makes you feel bad for Legato even if he’s also terrible in his own ways.

I’m having a hard time parsing these pages, but it looks like Legato dives headfirst into Vash’s defensive forcefield and uses Guernica as a shield. Vash destroys it, but it gives Legato cover so he can get behind him and point a gun at the back of Vash’s head. Okay, let’s go with that. It makes sense.

What did Legato get hit with now? It kinda looks like Vash’s wings?

Ch 9

Legato, honey, you’re so unhinged, it’s unbelievable sometimes. He’s so excited that he’s bleeding out and getting close to death.

Of course, all in the service of Knives. To prove his loyalty because Knives has never readily accepted it before, and that’s really all Legato wants at the end of the day—to see his loyalty rewarded. But since Knives never gave it to him, he just kept escalating and escalating his attempts until we got here. It’s sad that this is what finally brings him joy.

Whether Legato dies or Vash dies, Legato wins. It’s a zero sum game. If Vash dies, Legato proves just how devoted he is to Knives (and then dies because Knives can’t allow humans to live). If Legato dies, he succeeds in breaking Vash’s spirit and his ideals, successfully bringing down Knives’s worst enemy and destroying everything he stands for.

Oh no, it’s Wolfwood’s ghost. He calls us back to one of their earliest arguments over Vash’s no-killing philosophy. One day, Vash will have to make a choice. He’ll be put in a position where to get what he wants, someone will have to die—him or his opponent. What will survive, Vash himself or his philosophy?

It’s telling that in the moments before Wolfwood sealed his fate, he also flashed back to this conversation. Unlike Vash, for most of his life, Wolfwood didn’t have a choice and suddenly, he very clearly had one: save Livio or save himself. He chose Livio, he chose his ideals and sacrificed himself. Someone else mentioned how in dying Wolfwood proved himself wrong: your ideals do survive past your death, they do mean something. Because his death had a ripple effect on the people he loved and it altered the way they acted going forward. His ideals did live on. I don’t know where this is going but I’ve accidentally made myself emotional. Basically, Wolfwood managed to prove himself right and wrong at the same time, and completely alter Vash’s rigid point of view by dying.

Now, Vash is faced with the same choice: kill Legato or save himself so he can defeat Knives. Which road will he choose? What will he decide is more important?

Once again, I do not understand what Legato is doing. He’s got more wires, but who is he attaching them to? Himself? Vash? No idea.

I actually got scared Legato got a shot in, but Vash’s powers protected him again. Looks like Legato wasn’t expecting that either.

Vash is a bridge! He always has been. His whole life, he’s been working to connect humans and Plants, to keep their differences from destroying each other and find a path towards understanding. All in an effort to prove Knives wrong. Humans and Plants could coexist in peace. And he did it with such determination, that he ended up in the memory of every single Plant. That’s wild! It might just be what saves humanity.

Yay, Meryl and Milly get to be part of the effort to communicate with the Plants and help Vash! Vash is so important to them and they’re willing to put themselves in danger to help him, as they’ve proven many times. Because they believe in him and everything he stands for and in that vision of a future where Plants and humans can communicate and coexist in harmony.

“Wow, you two are tough! It’s amazing just how tenacious the people of this planet are!” Vance’s comment about Meryl and Milly is so important. In the story, they’ve represented the regular people of No Man’s Land. They are all the best parts of humanity and they show a hope for a future that isn’t full of blood and gunsmoke.

This entire page makes me wanna cry. It’s just Vash in a nutshell, all his goodness and contradictions and goals wrapped up in one, and it’s so, so beautiful. It just makes you appreciate him all the more and reminds you of how good a person he is (even if Meryl is a little scolding with him).

“I believe in how he chose to live his life.” Meryl’s use of past tense here is…interesting, to say the least.

Oh, Legato is using his wires to keep himself in one piece to survive longer. That makes some of the earlier pages make more sense.

Vash has disappeared behind his glasses again, which never bodes well. I think he’s finally made his choice.

His face when he destroys the coin case says it all honestly. He’s done playing games and he’s done holding back.

I can’t get over how cinematic and evocative these last few pages are. The world literally falling down around them as the Earth fleet ship crashes, the way it separates them for a moment, the way they rush each other and are juxtaposed on the last page. And then, the cliffhanger! With all the debris obscuring Vash and Legato, making us wonder what happened to them. It hits hard and I really badly want to start the next volume already! But then that means it’s the end and that makes me a little sad.

#trigunbookclub #trigun

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