#I still have active mutuals that I've followed for 7 years but the most common is 4 years (love you all) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

emerald-aura · 3 years

Text

Hello, to the void.

So I've been on tumblr since 2010. I just went back in my archive to the first ~year of my posts, where I used to be insanely active, and it made me a little bit nostalgic. I was regularly interacting with followers, made lots of friends with my mutuals (some that I'm still acquainted with today on other social media), and just having fun in general. I was about 16 then, I'm 27 now, and idk. Adulthood feels so fucking lonely. I don't ever meet new people, I work at a job that I hate, and all of my dreams have kinda died. I guess I just miss being able to share my thoughts somewhere, build relationships, and be creative. I also miss being a fucking fangirl in the space where fangirling truly began for me. So, I thought I would post here, just reaching out, and if any of my followers are still active or perhaps someone stumbles upon this, I wanted to introduce myself.

I'm Nicole :) 27, working a small corporate job, I have an apartment and a dog. I have been a fangirl over many things through my 11 years on tumblr - it started with Whose Line, and eventually evolved into Sherlock, which I believe is when I was the most active here. I made a second blog (which I still use every so often) because this main blog became an "aesthetic" blog where I tried to keep a wilderness/mountain girl/folksy vibe. I also have a rat blog where I used to post about my 7 rats that have since passed away due to old age, but I still check in over there as well. Honestly, I have a shit ton of side blogs (including a private diary that I tend to write in every few months to a year, spanning back to 2010) but a lot of them have died out, or I'm just saving the url's.

Currently, I am biggggg into BTS and kpop. This is my newest venture into fangirling and I'm having a ton of fun with it. I've been into it all for a little over a year now, and I haven't felt this much enthusiasm and happiness over an interest in a LONG time, like years. My main groups/artists are currently: BTS, SHINee (which includes their solo ventures, especially Taemin as he is my bias), and TWICE - but just because these are my main, doesn't mean I don't listen to a ton of kpop in general. I can only afford to collect BTS stuff (and I have bought a few SHINee/TWICE things as well) but I really love discovering new groups and indulging in tons of artists.

Anyway. There's that. I'm trying to be happy and exist shamelessly in my fangirling spaces, I just sometimes feel as though I'm speaking into a void. If anyone happens to see this post and is also lonely, feel free to reach out. If we have anything in common, I'd love to chat :) I'm just missing connecting anonymously with people over PURE shared interests. I also think that the pandemic and having 2 years of my life waste away in front of my eyes has made my brain literally rot, so if any of my writing seems disjointed, I'm so sorry.

Here's to maybe being more active. Here's to possibly being seen again.

#personal

17 notes · View notes