#I showered with my gf a few nights back and like. honestly damn. she asked about what I thought and I was like girl you're serving classical | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

kkusuka · 3 years

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(i had to repost lol- it wasn’t showing up on my page)

this the request: part 3 of thiccy gf hcs ??? with kuroo, terushima, sakusa, and daichi and/or atsumu 🥺👉🏽👈🏽 i must be fed

i understand your need for them

and as a member of the thunder-thigh committee, i am happy to write about my fellow sexy women! (another 4:56 am ramble i refuse to delete)

part one

part 2 <3

i mixed this with this ask ; Pt. 3 of the thicc af gf with Aone, Osamu, Kyotani, Daichi, Kuguri, and Terushima plz? 🥺

this got wayyyyyyyyy long

4, 685 words. my finger slipped?

Kuroo tetsuro

this guy has been trying to get you since first year

he’s that dedicated

and you didn’t even notice, he was just a flirty friend who helped you with science

(even when he would practically put you in his lap while he went over things)

lo and behold, he finally got his chance during the third year culture festival

yeah as in he waited a whole three years for this

Eh, once again, had a whole pan to make you see him as your great future husband, aka the haunted house (a good excuse to have you hold onto him)

He has to give it to class 2-4, the did a damn good job, it was scary

Long story short you fell on top of him, boobs in face hands-on ass

~heaven~

Mans actually asked you to be his girlfriend right there, groping you and murmuring between your boobs. (he wouldn't have gotten up if the next group wasn’t approaching.)

From then on he’d literally do anything for the ass

He’s a big simp and we all know it.

Like When you wear shorts he has to ‘pull them down’ aka feel you up while pulling the hem of your shorts down ever so slightly.

Or when he gets on a knee right behind you to ‘tie his shoe’, but the school shoes have no laces.

He could be a bit more creative and he wanted to look under your skirt.

When he wants to cut the bull shit he’ll just lift the back of your skirt and rub around for a but, to hell with all the other kids in the hallway.

(did I mention that he puts things on the highest shelves so he can walk up behind you and practically dry hump you.)

Speaking of simp nation

You can't really wear anything without setting him off

Shorts drive him absolutely nuts, it's insane. But it isn't his fault that most of your shorts are spandex that cut off right at the beginning of your thighs, it's like a homemade booty lifter. He just can’t help but wanting to cop a feel.

Or the color red in general. It is ridiculous, the guy rips everything when he tries to take it off too. So that stunning red cocktail dress with the lace-up sides was not unwearable, and you only had it on for like 2 hours. And that was only because it was a friend's 18th birthday party you were both invited to.

(thanks to kuroo not letting you out of his arms you both were late and left early.)

((in his defense you looked like a full course meal and it was giving him severe blue balls, and he’s only seen you for a few minutes))

Halloween, you know. the one night you could dress up as anything. any you decide to go as a cat-girl in a maid costume. And you expected him to just take that sitting down? Hell no. the red thigh highs AND the corset middle? You're lucky it lasted as long as it did.

That my dear was bravery. His color. A cat. And a short skirt. With thigh highs!

And so, he did what he did all those other times, dragged you to sit on his lap, and opening your thighs, and like a good girl you’ll let him

If you could already tell, he gives no shits to whos watching, let ‘em see (they really never do but you get the point)

He’s also a prime thigh groper, especially when he wants to keep your legs open, he also loves thigh hic

Terushima Yuji

Another shower-offer

You were already he's so why can't he let everyone know?

Speaking of you being his, he doesn't tell people how you guys don’t together, with good reason considering you practically beat him up

Not really but that’s what he calls it, basically he tried to get with one of your friends at a party.

She just happens to not be interested in men and has a wonderful girlfriend, so she was uncomfortable but couldn't tell him to leave her alone

So you took fate into your own hands, literally, you stole Fate from class 3-2’s drink and poured it on him before slapping him and telling him about how he was a pig.

And he fell in love, you looked like an angel, a really hot angel, it didn't help you were in a white dress either

And from then on he literally once or twice, got on his knees for you, asking to give him a chance.

Honestly, it got annoying, so you just agreed to make it go away. It did, but you also gained a perv of a boyfriend who has an insatiable love for your lower half

He’s a simple creature, do take caution of his fragile being

So that means all those times you bend over in front of him he was slowly cracking and trying to figure out where the nearest storage closet is.

He thought he was having heart palpitations when he saw you in the damn dress again, apparently, he didn't see all of it. Specifically the v-neck top, and the fact it only went to the end of your ass. Needless to say, he made sure to walk behind you on every staircase that you went on

Another set off is yoga legging, like the lululemon ones, that people wear all the time. They fit you great, really really great. They were supposed to work out in them???? Why were they so skin-tight????? And he also figured out that you wore things because of them. Instant nut.

How you ask, simple.

One time he saw your underwear line through the pants and he pointed them out, they did make it seem like your ass was super soft so he saw his chance and took it.

So the next time you wore them and he didn't see the lines he was like ??????

And thus began the “Yuji hunt for lineless underwear” and he found the thongs

And you received the fucking of your life soon after.

Oh! And there’s any time you go to the beach. Literally every time.

No cap.

The first time was when you wore a red one-piece and he practically went feral. It wasn't really a one-piece if it was see-through and had the lowest neckline on the planet.

Everyone was looking at you.

He practically fucked you on the beach but held off until you got back to the hotel room.

He’s way more forward when he wants to fuck, if you could imagine. He’ll just walk up to you and tell you he wants to get some, like right now.

If you can even ignore him, he’ll throw an arm around your waist and grope around your legs, all the way to the apex.

It is also not below him to try and get you off while still wearing underwear that he will be taking after.

(i didn't say anything about his stash off orgasm ruined underwear? My bad.)

Sakusa Kiyoomi

Going beyond the fact he even has a girlfriend, y’know considering, but the fact that no one knew who you were until you showed up at nationals to cheer him on

(atsumu was even starting to think that you didn't exist and that poor kiyoomi just imagined you up, so can imagine his shock when you ran up to said boy after they won)

The whole dating thing wasn't the shocking part; it was the fact that you looked like you walked off of the Milan runway.

And you were wearing leggings and sakusa's jacket, all of a sudden everyone was interested in how that happened

It was a kind of a boring story, someone had spilled coffee in a shop that you both happen to be in

And he watched you offer the man the same disinfectant wipes that he uses!

And in the most sakusa way possible he followed you out of the shop and tried to talk to you.

An exchange of numbers and many awkward conversations (and boners) later, you were a couple.

Back to that hug, like the many others, he's let you have, it’s all just to feel how soft you were

But poor touch -starved sakusa doesn't know what to do with any of these pent up feelings.

And he has a loooooooot of them.

Multiple occasions have shaped the poor germ-boy into the horny-tornado he has become

so he’s not really into what you’re wearing, it’s more about what you’re doing

like when you wore the mask he bought you to one of his games, and you wore one of his alternate uniforms, but the kicker was how you stayed away from everyone and didn’t let a single person near you (or his shirt)

or when you helped him clean his dorm when he was doing his weekly deep clean

or when the two of you washed the dishes while trying to do one of those “try not to sing” challenges

(is it normal to get a boner when your girlfriend helps you clean? no?)

but, as much as he tries to remain emotionless on the subject, there are multiple exceptions to the “it’s not what she wears” whole thing

Like that violet puffy skirt, you wore to a study fate, the one with the white sweater? That one, the same one that he could see your panties, from anywhere he sat. and Every time you got up you would have to smooth it down to make the creases go down, but it was only ever really giving him a good idea about the shape of your ass.

(if he sees you in that skirt again he’s just going to fuck you in it)

The lesser-known horny-inducer, since he made you take it off within the first five minutes, was a dress! What kind of dress? A neon yellow see-through mesh dress. The bottom wasn’t what got him though, it was the fact that your white bra was clearly seen under the mesh top. Or maybe it was the way the skirt made your waist look super small, and how your hips looked so round and squeezable.

Yeah, no one else could experience you in that.

Not to sound like this, but sakusa is still averse to touch

BUT BUT BUT

That goes out the window when he wants to dance the devil's tango with you.

Mr. His way or no way shows up, he does it every so slightly different

If it’s just the two of you, he’ll put a hand on your shoulder and he’ll push you to your knees. And he’ll pet your head and tell you what’s about to happen and advise you to listen like a good girl.

But in the instance you are in the presence of others, he’ll stand behind you and bring you super close to him, ass to dick. (maybe he’ll grind into you a bit, just to convince you to follow him) and he’ll throw a few words in about how much of a bitch in heat you are for getting turned on in front of all of these people.

It’s best to just do what he wants before he makes you cum in your underwear.

Daichi Sawamura

oh my

you guys are the power thigh couple

powerful and defined mixed with soft and pillowy

In Fact, that’s literally how the two of you met, thanks to Tanaka and Nishinoya of course.

(let’s just pretend karasuno has a cheer squad, and you just happened to be the captain of said team)

So basically you were doing a favor for the student council, and you were supposed to ask how many third years, managers included, were on each team and each club in the school

Easy! Turns out not so much. You were still in your cheer practice uniform, which was the shortest spandex ever made, and a Karasuno school t-shirt that was ever so slightly too tight.

Anyway, you make it to the gym and open the door, and the little one, Yachi, saw you and literally screamed. (she was right by the door), and that alerted everyone else in the gym, which led to the bald boy and his short companion pushing you further into the gym.

But in the better sense, it did gain the attention of the captain! Just the exact moment he was in front of you someone pushed; your back and within a second, in some miracle like way, you both ended up on the floor and he ended up planked on top of you with a leg between your spread thighs.

Almost kissing nonetheless.

Then, like the gentleman he was, he got off and asked you if you alright and kneeled down and let you use his shoulder to try and stand back up.

You did get up, for a split second, Daichi still kneeling letting you use him as a step stool when a certain red-head was flung right into you and you went toppling forward.

Onto Daichi.

Onto Daichi's face.

Your thighs around his head.

His hands-on your ass.

Hand in his hair.

He could sit there forever, you were frozen, everyone else was frozen.

You eventually climbed off and asked how many third years there were. But he just sat there, his hands hadn’t moved either, luckily Suga answered and you were on your way.

And Daichi still didn’t move, after that incident, you had begun to see him everywhere, and eventually, he just cut the shit and asked you out.

Daddy Daichi likes seeing you in literally anything from sweatshirts to lingerie.

His favorite was the brown buttoned pencil skirt and the white blouse, that you wore to a date. You were kind of overdressed for the ramen shop and after a walk, but he didn't even care. He was so thrown off by how turned on he was he couldn't speak in full sentences.

An example:

“Yeah, the food here is- boob, I-I mean great, not boob, great, yes, great.”

The second.

Was a bathrobe.

Can you see where I'm going with that? Simply you look hot.

His favorite part of the night was ripping it off of you.

And like the first time you met, he had his head in your thighs <3

Atsumu Miya

You met poor atsumu at a party.

He tried to shoot his shot, y’know he sees a cute lady he’s just gotta try and show you what you could be getting

he had it all planned, he was going to walk up behind you and run his hands over your delicious curves and ask you if you were in need of any help

he doesn’t take into account that a having a random guy just start groping you and pressing himself behind a girl was panic-inducing

so when he dropped your waist, you freaked out and may or may not have punched him in the dick

while he was in a. world of pain you age to figure out what the hell had just happened to you

then you noticed him on the floor, and when he noticed you looking at him he put this forced cocky smirk on and gave you a “how you doing”

You took pity on the poor creature and helped him up and got him some ice, then conversed with him for the majority of the rest of the night.

And he just hasn't left you alone since

(and, you learned this far later, that he went so far to tell Sakusa and Kageyama all about you and how amazing you are, and has even sent them- more than one- picture

But in other news, he’s very horny

So really all that means is he always has his hands on you

Like during practice breaks when you're allowed to come down and talk to him for a bit, give him some things, but it normally just consists of him sitting on the bench and you standing in front of him.

While his hands rest on your hips and his face is shoved into the valley between your breasts, and he just sits and listens to you as you brush a hand through his hair.

Or sometimes, if he had been having a rough time, he’ll just have his hands under your skirt and he’ll feel around for a bit while grumbling about how people cant hit his sets

But for being the possessive bastard he is, he sure likes letting you wear all those outfits

Like the booty shorts and tank top, you wore to bring them food during the summer training camp. That same camp that the two of you disappeared at and he came back looking like he had won the lottery.

Or the cute little red dress you wore to your anniversary date? The one that made him have a hard-on the entire time you were at dinner. He knows the waiter remembers, he also bets the waiter remembers seeing him fucking you in the car when his shift was over.

And that time you wore his jersey to bed and sent him a picture of it. It was such a good picture that he made it his lock screen for everyone to see.

He just likes looking at you tbh.

Aone Takanobu

you guys didn’t meet in some weird perverted way, it was actually really cute!

Not to sound creepy but he knew that you were in the garden club because you sat right in front of him in class

And since he didn't talk to anyone else in that class he was just content with listening, and so there he was

Standing outside of the garden club door holding his withering basil plant. Lost.

Lucky for him you were walking down the hallway and greeted him, looking all pretty and cute

You did help him realize that he was overwatering the basil and within a few weeks, it was back to life!

From that first time on, he came to the club room with you twice a week and walked home with you, just listening to all the random plant facts that you had harbored in your mind.

Eventually, with the help of the team, he asked you out, and you hugged him and said yes, and that was the beginning of the “oh god, y/n is way softer than I thought”

So he really just tries to be near you or be touching you at all times

(i am also a firm believer that he likes to slow dance to classical music in your living room)

Like during lunch periods when you sit next to him and the second you finish eating hell push you to lean against him

And he’ll rub small circles on your hips and give you small innocent gropes

Or how he hugs your waist when you're doing literally anything, and he puts his head on top of your head while swaying

I can also tell you that Aone is a good singer

So he hums to you (I'm uwuing over my own headcanon lol)

He also really likes just running his hands along your body, so he likes when you wear the one-piece dresses so he has smooth sailing down your body

As a man of little words, he clearly has a more physical approach to getting you on the horny train

What I am trying to get at is that more often than not he literally just picks you up and carries you away.

Of course, that leaves you to come back to whatever you were doing.

That is after the cuddles and after sex ‘conversations’ about the dumbest things

Basically, he likes to hear you talk and he really likes being near.

Osamu Miya

He knew who you were

With a brother like atsumu, who never shuts up about you, it's hard not to

(Osamu is pretty sure atsumu had a picture of you next to his pillow. ew)

Anyway, the two of you just happened to share the same lunch block, and it also just happens to be the only period block that he was alone

No teammates and no especially close that he could hang out with

That meant he could either study or eat

Had he chose to eat, only to be met with the fact that atsumu had drained both of their lunch accounts for his flavor of the week

Poor baby stood there for a while just processing what was the worst news of his life

When you, a true angel among the evil, said that you would graciously pay for his food so that he didn't outlook so sad anymore

If he wasn’t holding an armful of onigiri he would have fallen on his knees and begged to whatever god was out there to let him keep you

But he settled for thanking you and spending the entire period with you, he even offered to share (for the first time in his life)

You complimented him on his flavor choice and he decided to keep you

He made sure to share his recipes with you and you tried to do the same

And somehow that evolved into you guys going on dates, much to atsumu’s distaste, and you guys were totally hitting it off

Osamu was your official biggest fan, he loved everything you do

But that means he wants to stay your biggest fan, and he knows that you’re pretty well known for boys thinking not so innocent things about you

Again being brothers with atsumu gave him this little sadistic streak

He lets you wear all of the revealing outfits and the bikinis, all for everyone to see

Everyone to see what belongs to him

Like at suna’s party he let you wear a black mini-skirt and a white off the shoulder long sleeved flowy shirt.

You looked good, and all the guys staring at you proved that point tenfold. Three guys had come up to you and tried to get you to go upstairs with them. And it was almost immediately shut down when they noticed the act you were sitting on your boyfriend.

Speaking of, he almost always has you in his lap.

Aww, cute! Not, he like grinding you down on him, that's also why he likes having you wear skirts, easy access to your ass, also a nice way to ensure that he could get more than a few gropes in when he wants

No, it's definitely the way he made you wear thigh highs to school one day and the shortest skirt you owned (like a school skirt) and walked behind you the entire day.

And he just reached behind you and lifted your skirt for the whole hallway to see, but mostly for him

He waists no time when he wants to fuck, he’ll just walk up to and open your legs while making out with either you or your neck.

And yes he has done that in front of atsumu

Who was warned to stay out of their room for a while.

Not to mention all those times he convince you to go to school with no underwear on just for the fun of it

(I didn't tell you this but those off the shoulder mini dresses drive him wild. On graduation day he pulled into a closet and had his way with you. I mean he did say that if you wore that dress he was going to do it, buuuuuut y’know….. yolo)

Kyotani Kentaro

We all know he’s a fighter, which means he gets hurt a lot, which in turn makes him a frequent face in the nurse's office

And who happens to be the nurse's niece? You of course!

And right after school, when your aunt takes her break and leaves you to take care of the office alone

Right after school is also when Kyotani always comes in.

(it’s not like he knew that you would be there alone, and that meant that you had to deal with him and heal him up. And it also is not like he started the fight so he could come here and see you. No not that)

Who am I kidding it was like that.

It was totally like that.

Your hands were just so soft when they put the bandages on and you have to bend down to get the wrapping.

He had a crush, that's what iwaizumi said, and after googling what the symptoms of a crush were he was sure

So with the help of the third years, aka Oikawa just having Iwaizumi repeat what he wanted to say, they had a plan

And the next time he was in the office he asked if you wanted to see a movie with him, it was so cute and he looked so shy

It would have been perfect if after five seconds he tried to take it back, you still went on the date with him though

He was happy.

Angry boy likes hugs

And yes he does, no objections

So when he’s upset he’ll make these grabby hands at you and have you come over and stand with him

He shoves his chin on your shoulder and his hands squeezing your waist and you’ll rock back and forth until he calms down.

He’s also very aware of what you wear

Like how your skirt perfectly frames your legs. How the socks you wear make your legs look 10x longer, and make you look like you’re walking like a model.

Or the dark blue leggings you wore with his alternate jersey and you were cheering for him!

But nothing and I mean NOTHING gets him better than when you wear spandex shorts and one of his shirts. He goes feral every time.

This man is the CEO of picking you up and placing you on his lap, straddle style, and just going ham on you

Not to mention that sometimes when he’s really tired he’ll have you just sitting on his lap while he plays with your thighs

(he also likes playing with your waist and stomach, but he doesn't realize that he’s talking out loud so you can hear all of the “so soft”’s he lets out.

Kuguri

You were one of Mika's close friends so you were always just kind of around

It was a little get together that Daishou threw that really made you two close

It was a weird drinking game of sorts, and it had these teams, and you were out as a pair!

Somehow throughout the game, you guys got side-tracked and just ended up talking to each other the rest of the night

Eventually, you were convinced to go on a double date and the rest was history

He didn't even pay attention to what you wore that much until he heard a few rando kids in the locker room talking about it.

And that’s when he started thinking about just who he was dating

He first realized how round your ass was. Is it normal to look that good in leggings? No one else has ever looked that good to him. With that came his obsession with just touching your butt. He just grabs it or he’ll stop you from walking and palm it. Or he’ll rub circles into it.

(it's cute how intrigued he is by your butt)

Then came his obsession with your thighs. Mostly the way that they spread out when you sit. He didn't even understand why they were just so mesmerizing. They were so squishy too. He likes how they look in his hands-

Lastly was the waist thing. You aren't even sure what it is. He just likes putting his hands on your waist. Like a prom picture. Sometimes he’ll squeeze or run his hands along your sides. But he’s mostly stationary.

He also has this habit of just opening your legs and laying on your stomach.

He is just so into how soft you are.

1K notes · View notes

shananigans402 · 3 years

Note

1-65 will do, please. Thanks fuck face :)

I knew exactly who this was and I was so tempted to not reply, but your punishment is having to read through all my answers and remember them forever or you fail the friend test. To everyone else, please do not click unless you want to be very bored, my answers are not interesting lol

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you? Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you? Assuming 5 is the most, 1. Maybe 2.

3. The person you would never want to meet? The person who sent me this (jk I’m excited for our eventual meet up where we hit up a strip club first thing 🙏)

4. What is your favorite word? I answered with ‘conniption’ the other day and still have not found a word I like more.

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be? Already answered this, fruit tree! I also like palm trees, maple trees, and willow trees. I know that’s not the question, I’m just saying random shit now.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought? It took me a long while to remember where I was this morning. I honestly don’t remember, I was rushing to get ready for an early morning meeting.

7. What shirt are you wearing? My Orlando Strong shirt

8. What do you label yourself as? Lesbian

9. Bright room or dark room? Bright room

10. What were you doing at midnight last night? Sleeping? Possibly checking on a feverish little beeb who was going through it with her second dose of the vaccine.

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far? No idea. I like various ages for different reasons, but this age so far is not bad.

12. Who told you they loved you last? Probably my sister 🤷‍♀️

13. Your worst enemy? The person who sent this ask.

14. What is your current desktop picture? The apple pic of Catalina island that changes based on time of day (yes it’s the default, don’t judge me)

15. Do you like someone? Lol yeah I hope so 😂

16. The last song you listened to? Pretty Girl by Hayley Kiyoko

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up? Definitely @raginage

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face? I feel like I can only attack Raginage so many times. Can I pick a fictional character? This week I was real mad at Dave in The Darkness. BaBe!

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do? Lol no one, you’re talking to a person who feels very uncomfortable with anyone doing anything nice for them.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional) Not this again. Last time I said eyes? Still no pics, sorry

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do? What would I look like? Do I get to design myself like a sim? I honestly don’t know what I’d do because I doubt the world needs another clueless white man walking around, so maybe just stay at home.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it? Nope. And my last answer to this was awful. I do think I have a fantastic ability to annoy my friends but in a way that’s just amusing/endearing enough to make them still want to talk to me 😌

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of? Unique? Uhm well my two big fears are confined spaces and deep water so a submarine is like my worst nightmare.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal. Oh this is going to sound so odd. To be clear, I’ve had better sandwiches, but my go-to is provolone, turkey, roast beef, and spicy brown mustard or whole grain mustard. Please don’t judge me.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it? Travel budget for future trips to visit my buds and get into trouble and eat food. I know $100 won’t go far, but it’s something.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go? Well, after my last answer I want to visit my friends! But there are too many people to visit and I only have one ticket. So change of plans. I’m going on a solo trip to Greece. Or Argentina. Or Iceland. Or Bali. Damn, I’m indecisive.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be? Rabble red blend. Just a solid red wine. Also because @viola-lloyds stole my answer the other day (Juneshine; to be fair I asked her this question but whatever) and I don’t want to copy her.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? Oh I answered this one, something about respecting others. Yeah, a nice rule like that. Want to establish some healthy communication on this island.

29. What is your favorite expletive? It’s still fuck

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno? But what about my PLANTS. Can they count as loved ones? Probably my laptop, I know that’s lame but like...I have a lot of stuff on here. Or the collection of cards I have that my granddad drew little drawings in, I want to get them all framed.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be? To be honest, I don’t know if I’d change big life events in case it altered the trajectory of where I ended up. So idk maybe the ending of Bly, let’s give those lesbians have a happy ending!

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world! Italy! But wait, let’s get back to this sleeping with celebrities and super-powers bit...

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back? Oh that’s a really tough question. I always wanted to meet my great-grandma Olga because she seemed like a really awesome lady.

34. What was your last dream about? I can’t remember, this is bothering me because I wish I could! I’m sorry. My gf recently had a dream where I kissed a dude right in front of her. It made us both very uncomfy lol

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]? I hate this question because I can only think of one thing.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital? For surgery, yeah

37. Have you ever built a snowman? But of course!

38. What is the color of your socks? Not wearing any? I was wearing blue ones earlier. Jfc my answers are so boring.

39. What type of music do you like? Lots! I tend to listen to indie, classic rock, and some pop

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets? Sunsets!

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor? Chocolate or a variant (chocolate peanut butter, chocolate caramel)

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer) LA Rams or Seattle Seahawks. I know they’re in the same division. It’s tough. (Please don’t ask me why these teams)

43. Do you have any scars? Yep, mostly from burning myself on ovens. I simply get too excited for my food.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate? I...have graduated?

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? Well bestie recently said I have “lesbian hands” and I think that’s code for man hands so maybe that hahaha

46. Are you reliable? I try to be!

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be? How many more times will I watch The Darkness before I learn my lesson? (Related: When does other bestie finally admit to her fetish?)

48. Do you hold grudges? Not typically, no

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create? A dog and an otter? Can we domesticate otters? No, a horse and a large bird, create a pegasus and then free travel.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had? Oh god. I don’t even know where to start today tbh. Damie and pokemon and cosycon and looming and feet and [redacted] and developing apps for VP. So many fantastic conversations.

In real life, probably the time I was at a laundromat in Italy and this guy wandered in with a beer, sat next to me and my male roommate, assumed we were a couple, and proceeded to give us bizarre life advice. I wish I could remember more of it, but it was so odd.

51. Are you a good liar? Hmm I’m okay at it I think, that is, I can convince people I’m serious when I’m actually joking. But I don’t like actually lying if it’s not just teasing someone.

52. How long could you go without talking? Probably a few days if I had to.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style? The haircut I got before studying abroad! It was too short and I was so sad.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake? For a birthday? No. For fun? Absolutely.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own? Not well, no

56. What do you like on your toast? Butter and/or honey and/or jam

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of? My beautiful depiction of a scene of chapter one of Private Dancer.

58. What would be you dream car? An electric car of some sort. I don’t know enough about cars tbh

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain. Nope but sometimes I’ll play music and dance and maybe softly sing.

60. Do you believe in aliens? Yep! Definitely

61. Do you often read your horoscope? Almost never unless someone sends it to me.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet? Already answered, A

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons? Dinosaurs! 🦕

64. What do you think about babies? What do I think about them? They’re pretty cool. Just tiny little humans.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of. I was very nice and let you correct your mistake and submit one after the fact:

In your opinion what is the best thing you can cook, like your speciality? My favorite thing to make is pasta, I started making my own sauce and I’d love to make pasta from scratch sometime.

#read up @raginage #this is what you get #responding to these out of spite took far longer than i thought lol

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exordiumed · 5 years

Text

syzygy [ II ]

↳ soulmate au | inspired by this johnten au

pairing: oh sehun & you

genre: fluff, angst

word count: 3.018 words

summary: syzygy (n.): 2. a pair of connected or corresponding things

syzygy masterlist

“i’m so glad you came into my life.”

“you mean that? like really?”

“of course i do, you’re the best thing the universe had written for me.”

You weren’t really dealing with your feelings in the best way possible if you’re being honest. He has a girlfriend for Christ’s sake and here you were, pining after him like an idiot. Jongin, bless his soul, quickly became your best friend and also your emotional support throughout this entire predicament. Though sometimes it felt more like he was teasing you instead of actually helping.

Maybe the universe was punishing you for some reason? Whatever that was happening, you wanted it to end immediately. But of course, you don’t always get what you want, as you so quickly learn.

So, imagine your surprise when you walked into one of your classes to see him. Of course, your first plan of action was to find the furthest seat away from him, but, unfortunately for you, he had noticed you and beckoned you over to take a seat next to him. Reluctantly, you walked over and plastered on a smile for him when you sat down.

“Fancy seeing you here.”

He chuckled before replying, “Yeah, almost like the universe wants us to be together or something.”

If you were drinking anything while he said that, you were sure you would’ve spat it out. Does he know that he was being like this? Sending you weird mixed signals and being aware that his words held a double meaning for you? Honestly, it was getting a bit tiring trying to be normal around him when everything that he did made you want to jump him.

Thankfully, he wasn’t a distraction in class as you had feared him to be. The two of you hung out after class, walking around town and you managed to take some good shots of the skyscrapers in the city centre. And maybe you sneaked in a few candid shots of him walking around, unaware of you pointing your lens at him.

“You’re a photography major right?”

“No, I just like lugging this camera around and struggling to find inspiration for my assignments and constantly ramble on about angles and composition and symmetry all the time,” you replied sarcastically. For some reason, your reply made him laugh, a bit too hard until people were giving the both of you dirty looks, but you didn’t care. You made him laugh. You felt a bit too proud at that.

After his fit of laughter died down, he stared at you. He did that a lot, you noticed. You shifted uncomfortably underneath his gaze, it almost felt like he could see into your soul, read all of your thoughts and you didn’t like that one bit. Being so vulnerable at the hands of someone else.

“Your stare is kinda intense, you know that?” You told him.

He laughed again.

“So I’ve been told. Maybe it’s a drama major thing, you know, just dramatic like that.”

“Whatever you say.”

You came back home after hanging out with Sehun and you were happy. Exhausted, but happy. You checked your phone for notifications to find 5 text messages from Jongin:

hi ok sure ignore me thats fine actually its not pls respond u better be getting dicked down or something for u to not reply wait no u cant be he has a gf oop Read 20:22

You rolled your eyes. Leave it to him to give you an unneeded reminder of the sad reality you lived in.

» wow i completely forgot that he has a girlfriend thank u for the reminder Read 20:24

omg she’s alive!!! how did it go sis Read 20:24

» ok i guess just 2 friends hanging out Read 20:25

lAME Read 20:25

Chuckling at his response, you tossed your phone onto your sofa so you could shower, and hopefully wash away all the thoughts of Sehun left in your mind.

The next few days passed uneventfully. It was a much appreciated break from the hectic whirlwind that was your life for the past month. Jongin’s been an absolute sweetheart of course, hearing your incessant ranting and complaining about love and Sehun and how much you wanted to simultaneously smooch him but also run him over with a tractor.

“I have an idea,” Jongin started over lunch one day.

“Oh no.”

“Shut up,” he smiled. “You’re going to a party with me.”

“No, I’m not.”

“That wasn’t a question, it was a statement. You’re coming with me whether you like it or not.”

You were confused, and your facial expression definitely showed it because Jongin groaned.

“You’re going to find some nice hook-up and forget about him obviously!”

You snorted. “Oh yeah, brilliant.”

“Shut up.”

You were honestly doubting his plan, but you didn’t tell him that. And, maybe he was right. Maybe a distraction could help you forget about Sehun.

Except, it didn’t work.

One moment you were sucking some guy’s face and for some damn reason you opened your eyes to see him staring right at you. You panicked, pushed the guy off of you and ran outside, looking for Jongin so you could rant to him and hopefully calm down.

You didn’t find him, but you did manage to calm down, nonetheless. It was beautiful outside. You relished the night breeze and admired the moon hanging in the night sky with a few stars dotted around. You lifted your phone camera to take a picture of the sky, something about those astronomical bodies calms you, strangely. Like a wave of sereneness washes over you when you admire them. You decided there was nothing left for you to do at the party, and Jongin’s plan for you to hook up with someone and forget about Sehun had failed, so you texted Jongin you were leaving early and left for home.

“Hey,” Sehun said as soon as you slipped into your seat next to him. “You left early yesterday?”

You swallowed. “Yeah, I just wasn’t feeling it y’know?”

“I see.”

He was quiet after that, and it unnerved you. Sure, he was usually quiet but something about his silence this time scared you. Still, the rest of the lecture flew by with no incident and when he got up to leave, your hand shot up to tug at his wrist. He looked at you and you immediately pulled away, as if touching him had burned you.

“Did I.. do something wrong?”

He shook his head and offered you a small smile. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about it too much, okay?”

He left, and again, you were stunned. You groaned inwardly, why were boys like this? Your mental complaining was cut short when you received a text from Jongin.

lets have dinner!! Read 17:55

» sure when and where and who Read 17:55

my place!! as soon as u get here i have takeout just u n me babey Read 17:56

» hot i’ll be there in 20 Read 17:57

Jongin always knew how to cheer you up, even when he didn’t even know you needed it. Takeout and watching Netflix on his sofa together was the perfect remedy. And his dog too, you daresay you liked his dog more than him.

The moment you crossed the threshold from the front door of his apartment, Jongin engulfed you in a bear hug. You laughed and hugged him back. He was practically a ball of sunshine and you had no idea what you did to deserve this man.

Halfway through your Netflix marathon, you sneaked a photo of Jongin cutely pouting at his TV over some scene happening in whatever show you two were watching. You added it to your story and looked up from your phone to see Jongin stealing some of your noodles. You swatted his hand away and he shrieked.

“Rude!”

“Um, I think rude is you trying to steal my food mister.” Jongin stuck his tongue out at you while you resumed eating the rest of your food so there was none for him to steal.

A little while later, you were helping him throw the trash since it was the least you could do to help him out when he invited you over, Jongin called out to you.

“Did you tell Sehun you were with me or something?”

“What? No!”

“Huh. He’s asking me about you,” he replied. You furrowed your brows trying to think of how he could’ve known you were hanging out with Jongin.

“Oh! He must’ve seen my Instagram story.”

“I’m on your story and you didn’t tell me?!”

You shook your head as you dumped your trash into the rubbish bin. You wondered why Sehun would be asking him about you. He should just leave you alone, he has a girlfriend as Jongin loves to constantly remind you about. Again, you were confused. Everything about him was confusing. You wished he would just stop it, you wished he didn’t have a girlfriend so you were free to do whatever you wanted with him, you wished you would stop feeling this way.

Sehun sure had a thing for asking you weird questions out of the blue the moment you sit down next to him in class because this time he asked you:

“Do you like Jongin?”

If you could pronounce question marks in real life that would be your response to his question, but since you couldn’t you settled for giving him the most confused look you could muster.

“I mean, you were hanging out with him at his place last night so I thought..”

“You’re an idiot, he’s my best friend, we were just hanging out and watching Netflix. Nothing special.” Your reply came out curt and probably sounded a little cold. You hadn’t intended it to come out that harsh but, you supposed you were just tired of this boy and his antics, no matter how much you liked him.

“Oh.” He said and he was silent after that for a long while, until he asked, “Do you wanna have dinner? After class? With me? And we could walk around the city again and you can take nice photos of me, or the buildings whichever you prefer.”

What was with him and stunning you into silence? Because, you didn’t give him a reply for a few minutes before muttering out a “sure” and going back to paying attention to the lecture.

The dinner was nice, and the impromptu photoshoot you had with him was nicer. He was a nice model, and you certainly weren’t complaining about having this many photos of him stored in your camera now. Being around him inspired you, strangely, and you were stopping him every five minutes to take a picture of some random things from different angles and different perspectives. You didn’t notice him observing you, and you sure as hell didn’t notice the small smile that was on his face when he watched you do what you enjoyed the most. He wanted to see you like this, always. And so, he captured this moment on his phone: you, awkwardly standing on an overhead bridge trying to get a shot of the cars underneath you. You wouldn’t see it until much later when you got home and viewed his Instagram story.

» sehun wtf!!! when did u take that i look clapped Seen 22:00

no u don’t wtf u look perfect Seen 22:04

You decided that was enough social media for that night and went to sleep. Your dreams contained images of you and him in a world where you were together, where everything was perfect, and the two of you were perfectly in love.

And somehow, you had managed to fool yourself into thinking the two of you were in love. The two of you hung out on almost a daily basis even when you didn’t have class together and you fell into this routine with him. You were so used to being with him and only him.

And you realised this, so you did the one thing you knew how to do. Rant to Jongin.

» nini i think im fucked Read 14:25

what did u do this time Read 14:25

» KSDLJFSLDKFJSD i think im catching serious feelings for this very taken man! Read 14:26

yeah you’re fucked Read 14:27

» FUCK U Read 14:28

After a very long phone call with Jongin, you decided to just see where this crush goes. Risky, but it was practically the only thing you suppose you could do. And, it was fine for a while. You still hung out whenever he asked, and you took photos of him, and he would take sneaky Instagram stories of you that you would cry over and tell him that you looked ugly, but as always, he would insist you look fine.

Of course, you were still constantly reminded that he was very much, taken, because in addition to his posts of you, his girlfriend would be scattered in there too. The two of them out on dates, her posing cutely for the camera and you were sad. Maybe even bitter. She was so effortlessly cute, and you could tell she made Sehun happy and she loved him, and he loved her. Who were you to get in the way of their relationship? So, you didn’t do anything.

Everything continued to be normal, or about as normal as your life could be with this stupid romantic drama you had found yourself in. Truthfully speaking, the only person you could blame was yourself. You hated yourself for catching feelings for him. Literally you could fall for any guy out there, and your brain decided on Sehun, the guy with a goddamn girlfriend. Brilliant. Maybe the universe was punishing you.

And you were entirely convinced it was, after Sehun heard you complain to Jongin about him.

It was at some random person’s party and you and the usual crew were there. Surprisingly, Sehun didn’t bring his girlfriend but you decided not to think too much about it. What did occupy your mind, however, was that Sehun was being quite touchy. He’s a naturally affectionate guy and you didn’t really pay attention to it, since he’s like that with everyone. But, maybe it was because you let your feelings for him stay bottled up too long because that night, you just exploded to Jongin in some stranger’s kitchen with loud music being played over the speakers and with the amount of people in there, you thought nobody could hear you rant.

But, like many times before, you had been wrong, because Sehun was silently standing at the entrance of the kitchen, watching you talk your mouth off to Jongin.

“Jongin, I can’t stand it. He’s so.. Ugh! I know he’s just a naturally touchy person and I don’t mind that one bit! In fact, I should be the last person to complain about this but, I just can’t fucking stand it. It bothers me so much that he’s like this and it really doesn’t help that I like him, so this is even more of a mess for me but goddamn. I don’t blame him though, it’s not like he knows I like him like that.”

You huffed and stayed silent for a while.

“I just hate how he looks at me you know? He looks at me like he’s in love with me. Does he look at everyone like that? It really throws me off. Sometimes I wish he was actually in love with me.”

Jongin poured you a drink while you vented to him. “Sweetheart, maybe you should tell him.”

You narrowed your eyes at him. “Are you crazy? No fucking way, I’ll just wait for my feelings to fade or something. It’s been like two months; they’re bound to go away. He has a fucking girlfriend what’s not clicking in my stupid brain?”

You accepted the drink Jongin offered you and you let your eye sweep around the kitchen, when your eyes fell onto him. Staring at you. And you were definitely, one hundred percent positive, that he had heard every single word you said. You nearly dropped the cup you were holding, and you slammed it on the kitchen counter. Jongin jumped at your action, and he opened his mouth to say something, until he looked in the direction you were staring at.

The both of you, in perfect unison, muttered: “Oh fuck.”

You grabbed Jongin’s wrist and pushed past the other partygoers in the kitchen to book it out the backdoor, in the opposite direction Sehun was standing in. He watched the two of you disappear out of the house. He certainly had a lot to think about.

You were fucked. There’s no other way around it. The moment you reached your apartment with Jongin in tow, you fell onto your couch and groaned into the pillows. Jongin perched on the back of the sofa and stroked your hair, telling you everything will work out eventually.

“I think it’s about time you told him, sweetheart.”

You let out a long sigh, and begrudgingly, accepted the fact that you did have to face the music. You were scared, but the truth was out and he knew it in the worst way possible and there was no escaping this.

“You’re right. But I’ll do it tomorrow. I don’t have the right state of mind to do it right now,” you told him. He agreed, and he led you into your bedroom and tucked you into bed, but not before you forced him to stay over because it was late and you didn’t really want him to leave. So, he took the couch while you attempted to fall asleep with thoughts of finally telling Sehun you liked him swirling around in your mind. Somehow, you managed to fall asleep and you would say it was the best sleep you had in a long time.

Until you checked your phone.

The unintentional scream you let out had Jongin dashing into your room to see your holding your phone with your face painted in horror. Your lockscreen was on display with a notification telling you that you had two unread text messages from Sehun.

[2 unread messages from Sehun]:

hey can we talk? Sent 01:24

#i dont think this is my best work but........ nvm #huge shout out to the johnten au that inspired this whole fic #exo #exo scenarios #exo imagines #sehun #exo sehun #oh sehun #sehun scenarios #sehun x reader #sehun imagines #exo x reader #exo fanfic #exo fluff #exo angst #sehun fanfic #sehun fluff #sehun angst

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slutforpoetryx · 6 years

Note

1-99

Thanks so much for all the entertainment cutie 💜💙1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?Hmm I think it's pretty equal like a perfect combination of both. I don't like my cereal to be soggy or drown in milk but I also don't like it when it's "too hard" 😂 I like the right amount of crunch though 2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?I love it, I really do. Those first few moments of being outside are super refreshing and awakening but after a while of being outside, well my face starts to numb so I don't even feel the wind anymore hahahaha3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?I can only come up with 2 rn. I've used like tickets from the grocery store, even toilet paper 😂 oh wait I even once used a plastic ruler 4: how do you take your coffee/tea?I like my coffee with milk and 1 sugar cube, my tea either without sugar or 1 sugar cube but that depends on what kind of tea it is. I just don't like it too sweet but I also don't like too bitter so then I'll use 1 cube 🙂 as for the coffee though, I rarely drink regular like I prefer something mocha ish or coconut/bounty from a really good place in Leuven 5: are you self-conscious of your smile?Oh for sure, a little too much probably. I just think it looks weird or ugly. Also because I don't like my teeth, a few years back it was so intense I'd do everything to avoid smiling while showing my teeth. It was ridiculous. I did get over that in the sense that I don't pay attention to it anymore like I'm trying to show my teeth but I do still hate it 6: do you keep plants?Fake ones, orchids and we used to have cacti as well. We don't really do real plants anymore because we forget to water them and then it's just a sad waste. But I do love the fake ones a lot. They look real, brighten up the place and so on 🌵7: do you name your plants?I don't think I ever did 🤔8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?Writing, definitely writing. I've always loved it, the paper doesn't judge yet you get to out what you feel and putting it into words, the mess of thoughts, can really straighten things out. I've been writing ever since I was around 14 so for about 6 years now. I don't do it as much as I used to but I still hold it dear ✒9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?Damn right I do!!! I sing and hum whenever I can, like no matter what I'm doing. Goes from cleaning to working for class to walking outside. At home they tell me to shut up though, since apparently my singing sounds like a cat dying ☺ luckily I still have the shower 10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?I sleep on my back, side and stomach actually. It just really depends what I'm feeling that evening. Sometimes I can't fall asleep in a certain position and other days I can. It's weird really but I think my all time fav is like half stomach/half back. Also perfectly comfortable for the boobs.... Tmi sorry 11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?Oh shit I don't know actually 🤔 hmmm probably how I got the nickname Nuno since it's like something only my friends know of and my man 12: what’s your favorite planet?I actually don't know that much about the planets. But mercury looks beautiful imo so imma go for that one 13: what’s something that made you smile today?I don't think I've smiled today 😂 waaaait no I did, when you sent me that you asked questions and then that you look forward to reading them oh wait a few things you said today made me smile actually 💕14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?It would look modern but cozy and the old touch of it would be respected. There would be fake plants and carpets. Many pictures and art work up against the wall too. The kitchen would have a major rack of spices and herbs. Oh and a balcony with lights 🙂15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!This is a dope one, the skin peeling off feet was pretty cool too though but I chose.....You become taller in Space. Another change to the human body in micro-gravity is that spine straightens out, as gravity is not pushing you down. In fact you can be up to as much as 5cm taller in the Space Station!!!16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?Definitely the pasta Arrabiata, the spice is just mmm 😩17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?I actually already have died my hair in colors I really wanted it to be. I've had red and blonde hair. For now I'm content with my own color but I might definitely change it up again at some point18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.I've done so many dumb and funny things 😂 I am pretty sure the dumbest thing I've done that is always brought up is when me and my friends went on a trip for like a few days and I was drunk during the day, it was hot and we had tequila and what not so everything like worked a lot faster and heavier. But my friends had been flirting with some dudes there so I thought it was good to start cleaning our apartment so they could invite them over hahahaha I was a mess and I was vacuuming the couch that was covered in popcorn from the night before and it was just yeah, I still get laughed at for it 😂19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?I've tried several times to keep an actual journal but for some reason it never really worked so I gave up on it 20: what’s your favorite eye color?Green, it's so special and mesmerizing. I've actually never seen the color irl cause it seems pretty rare and I also don't know many people but I just know and from what I've seen on pictures, it's the most perfect to me 😍21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.It's like an eastpack lookalike for 10 euros, dark brown. I used it for everything. School, vacations, 1 day trips, festivals ... Honestly the quality was so bomb, actually still is cause I bought it a 2nd time 🙂 anyway, it ended up having holes at the bottom of the bag, it was ripping for real. The front pocket turned into a mess of melted throat tablets cause I put it against the heating next to me in class. Never opened it again. There were earphones in that and for some reason a spoon too 😂 I've been careful with it, thrown with it. Everything 22: are you a morning person?I wish I was, like I really wish I could get out of bed easily and start my day but instead I either don't wake up or I do as a zombie and need a lot of snooze moments 23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?Watch tv series and movies, no doubt about it. It's my way of escaping life and I love it a lot 24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?Yes there is, you 🙂25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?I don't think I've ever broken into a place. Only an abandoned castle but it doesn't have doors so like..... But I've also had to climb through a window at home cause I forgot my key and no one was home so but does that even count idk26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?Rn my black vans but I've only had them for over half a year now so it doesn't really count. However my first pair of vans ever when I was 12 something I wore with everything. They were my all time go to, super comfy and easy to put on. I wore them for years like at some point the side was coming loose and you vould see my socks like with both shoes even and I still wore them 😂 it was horrible, I was attached to them and couldn't let go. My mom had suggested throwing them away a couple of times but I refused. She eventually took matters into her own hands and threw them away. I fished them back and I still have them somewhere.....27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?Vanilla mint or peppermint, either really 28: sunrise or sunset?I think both have their own charms really. I can't choose like the sunrise is the start of the day, early in the morning when the world is just waking up while a sunset is when everyone is coming alive. Both colors are vibrant, light up the soul 🌄🌅29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?I don't really know actually. I think it has to be when a friend of mine talks about how much he loves his gf, he absolutely adores her and like it's as if he's in heaven when he talks about her30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?Yes, many times actually 31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.Oh my... I love socks. I have so many different socks and it's just yes. I love weird socks, I have socks with a cactus on it but also with the brightest colors possible, dots all over or flowers. I had a period of time where I would wear 2 different socks 😂 I'm all about fluffy socks too to wear at home. I sleep with socks when my feet feel like ice cubes and I can't warm them up but halfway through the night I'll get crazy annoyed and take them off. White socks are weird and boring. They make me think of white dads wearing sandals..... 32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.Have I ever been awake even after 3 with friends hahahahah oh wait I know. We were all asleep but I woke up once and found myself in like my own drool for some reason and I went like "oh fuck" so I moved my ass and made it seem like it wasn't from me just in case anyone would see it 😳33: what’s your fave pastry?Hmmm I love so many tbh. I think one of my favs is the one with frangipane in the middle like that shit is to die for. If they have it, guaranteed I'll pick that one 🤤34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?I actually didn't have a stuffed animal, at least my fav wasn't one. I carried around a pillow case. My mom used to work at night and I couldn't fall asleep so my dad took my mom's used pillow case and put me to sleep with it. I never let it go again. It was white with blue stripes and I still have it. As for a stuffed animal, I did have one actually, called Stippel. A ladybug hahaha. I might still have it somewhere35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?I do like those but never use them, I only use really simple and cheap pens because I don't write much anymore 36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?Hmm maybe A Day to Remember. Nothing too cheery but powerful or Papa Roach, same thing37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?I like keeping it clean but rarely do so actually. Laziness gets the best of me 🙄38: tell us about your pet peeves!I think people desperately fishing for compliments is one and another is people making comments about another person's appearance. In the sense that it's often rude and with disregard of their feelings or the possible effects of it. I have more I think but these 2 come to mind right away 39: what color do you wear the most?Grey/black, I do try to wear more color since I've started to like that more and appreciate it too. However my closet is still mostly dark 40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?I have a pair of earrings, cherries. My brother got them for me when I was younger, thought they looked cute and chose them for me. If I remember it right he even paid for it with the money he got for like birthdays etc so I cherish them dearly 41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?That has to be "My favorite mistake", it's one of the last ones I remember reading. It's a really nice love story and also has a lot to do with letting your walls down and letting someone special in 42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!I do actually, it's in Leuven. It's super tiny but it has like fake plants all over it and the front is entirely made of glass. There's a little bar and people can use iPads there. They have the best coffee I ever had tbh. Like so many special kinds too. They also have fresh smoothies and juices, along with a variety of tea43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?My mom hahahaha 44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?I actually don't remember a moment like that, things have been too much lately. Even in my sleep I haven't felt at peace 45: do you trust your instincts a lot?I never do actually or at least not a lot. I always think I'm wrong about everything and jusy have very little faith in myself and my abilities46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.I clogged the toilet, it was a shitty situation. I need to go to hell I swear 😂😂😂47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?Lobster and goose liver, both include torture so I'm against it heavily. Have never and will never eat it 48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?Probably the dark and being abandoned so yes both are still the same hahaha 49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?I do like it actually and there's something very classy about records, I just love it. Hope to own one myself one day, a recordplayer. The last one I bought was for my mom actually, of Oscar and the wolf50: what’s an odd thing you collect?Screenshots ☺ hahahaha no idk I collected Little Petshop animals as a kid, Me to You bears and I still collect gems so 51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?Robin Schulz & Richard Judge - Show me love 52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?Oh the couple one where the guy looks at the 2nd girl and then the uh Joe Biden ones too idk many really 53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?I've unfortunately never watched any of those but they are all on my list to watch actually, all classics and I love those 54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?My mom's yesterday after leaving my dog at the vet.. She teared up badly55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?I don't think I've ever done something truly dramatic to prove a point really 🤔 I don't recall anything at least56: what are some things you find endearing in people?- An amazing sense of humor- Listening skills- Care for animals- Adventure oriented- Respecting, being real- Honesty- ... 57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?Hahahahaha this song always gets to me and does make me dramatically reenact the lyrics. I once sang this one with friends and we filmed it, tried to make our own music video on it. It was a flop for sure but we had the best time58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?Jolien is the wine mom, also because she has a glass of wine often and I'm definitely the vodka aunt, it's me 😇 59: what’s your favorite myth?"According to Greek mythology, humans were originally created with four arms, four legs and a head with two faces. Fearing their power, Zeus split them into two separate parts, condemning them to spend their lives in search of their other halves." - Plato 60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?I love poetry, I've been quite busy with it myself at some point. I think Shakespeare's sonnets are some of my favs along With Edgar Allan Poe's. Both are true geniuses 61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?I don't know if I've ever given a stupid gift, not to brag but I always go for something personal. Pick up on the things people mention and get them something like that so they're never really disappointed and also don't consider their gifts stupid. As for the stupidest I've ever received, I have no idea again. I'd say something like underwear but I actually love getting that so 🤷‍♀️ hahahaha 62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?I don't actually 63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?My music I don't have organized, unless it's like a file on my laptop but my books are definitely all nicely put on their shelve and in a way that it goes from like the biggest book to the smallest 😂 so I'm not that strict but I also don't like for them to be in any other order than that so 64: what color is the sky where you are right now?Dark dark daaaaark blue. It's almost midnight so65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?No one actually, I'm fine on my own and don't feel the need to hang out with anyone whatsoever66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?Pretty simple, faded pink with white or either bright/dark red with white. I think those are beautiful colors67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?I love it even though it also scares me. It feels idk empty but like a peaceful kind, like the world has stopped spinning for a bit and you can really take a deep breath 68: what’s winter like where you live?It snows for like 3 days, the whole country is in panic. The ER is flooded, car accidents everywhere. The trains stop working and the busses don't show up. The rest is rain and cold 😂69: what are your favorite board games?Hmm monopoly, "mens erger je niet" (sorry don't know the English translation) and yahtzee 70: have you ever used a ouija board?No never and even though I'm curious, I'm also way too scared to try it because I believe in ghosts/spirits so much71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?Something forest fruit ish, it's perfect really. But I love many kinds. Citrus and red fruits, apple/cinnamon, earl grey, ...72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?I definitely have to note things down but even that I often forget 😂 my organizing skills are uh not so present 73: what are some of your worst habits?Acting very childish is the worst one for sure. Aside from that leaving things messy and procrastinating are my other worst ones. Trying to work on all, bit by bit but old and bad habits die hard 😕74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns./ these are weird questions75: tell us about your pets!Vinkie: he's a bird that fell out of the nest into our garden but with the cats living here he would've quickly died so we took him in and took care of him, fed him and he's been with us for over 5 years now. Singing to us 🙂Whisper: he's an agapornis, mini parrot. He's something else. He makes a loooot of noise so his name is quite ironic. He has a big ass cage where he flies and climbs around in. Whenever there's music on he will whistle along. He jumps up when we walk by too fast but when the cat is sitting next to his cage he'll try to grab their tails 😂 same for the dogs.....Chanel: she's a rescue dog from Greece. She came to us as a foster but we all, my brother mostly, got attached to her so we decided to keep her. She's really smart, she knows how to open doors and even flip the keys. She follows her nose wherever it takes her, even if that means jumping over a 1m50 gate and take herself for a walk. We run after her nearly daily but she's a sweetheart. She adores to cuddle and is extremely soft. She's also made of elastic and has a crazy flexibilityIdéfix: my little man. Tossed in a dumpster in a plastic bag, comes from Spain. He's a real cutie, will do whatever to be able to be close to me and lie on my lap. He's also a little bastard that knows exactly how to jump on the table, dressoir, chairs and garden table. He snores and sighs like the cutest. He loves fruit and even pickles Sky: she's a cane corso, big girl. But a real sweety too. She loves cuddles and if she could then she would get on my lap as well which she actually does. She uses her size to her advantage to sit on top of Idéfix to get his spot. She drools like crazy when waiting for her food. She adores snow and waterAtalo: the boss at home. He's Idéfix's best friend. He's a very loyal dog, sometimes stubborn asf though. He is very gentle and will always take a treat with his tongue and not his teeth. He watches over his pack like a real guard dog and when crying he will wipe the tears away. He comes from Greece Lucky: we took her home with us when we went on a trip to Greece. She was only 2 weeks old and we bottle fed her. She's a real badass. She will smack me to let me know she needs food and she yells to get inside or go outside. She like sleeping under blankets close to whoever she's sharing the bed withJoy: she's a bully, she will slap the others when they walk by and she bites everyone who pets her but asks to be pet. She's a little fatty and looks really funny when she runs. Occasionaly she gets on my lap for cuddlesKyoko: I can carry her around like a baby and she will attack when I try to put her down cause she doesn't want that. She's really sweet and tries to cuddle with the dogs when they're near her. She does kinda live at the back of the house cause the rest is too busy for her 76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?I guess summarizing but I wanted to take a break so I guess I don't have to do anything rn and can answer these questions to keep myself entertained and distracted 77: pink or yellow lemonade?Yellow well or orange 78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?Fanclub, they're fucking adorable and clumsy. I get why some might get annoyed by the little guys but I mean come on, they're just animated movie characters like the fuss was a bit too extreme 79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?The person I love most has done many cute things for me. Took a picture of 2 flowers that reminded him of us. But he also writes stories, one in particular about Poppy and Wormy which warmed my heart. His entire presence is the cutest thing ever to me 🍅80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?They're dark brown, light green and cream color. I chose all because of their earthly tones and idk I like having warm, calming tones. Green also used to be my absolute fav color 81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of./ again really odd and I don't even remember their eyes..... Woops 82: are/were you good in school?I used to be in elementary, then started slacking once high school started. Got better again, started slacking again. Graduated high school, barely. Then dropped out of uni and trying to make it in college rn so we'll see how "good" I am once the exams have passed83: what’s some of your favorite album art?/84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?I'm not planning on anything, even though I'm always thinking of it because of the love I have for tattoos but rn idk, I need to be more sure before I can say I have an actual idea. I want it to be meaningful but also not mainstream85: do you read comics? what are your faves?I don't hahaha, I'd love to one day though 86: do you like concept albums? which ones?I'm pretty sure idek what those are. Lemme google real quick, ok do I don't know any but the idea seems really cool to me 87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?Every single Disney classic obviously. But also uhm 🤔 88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?Is Banksy a movement? 🤔 cause then yes, aside from that I really have no idea how to interpret this question so please bare with my stupidity 89: are you close to your parents?I am really close with my mom, a lot more distant with my dad but it's okay90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.Venice; it's so dreamy there. It's almost unreal like the lives are so different there. The streets are made out of water most of the time, everything goes by boat or on foot. It's so beautiful like the buildings are really something else, incredible architecture. Very colorful and the little gardens here and there brighten it up. But also the squares are super cozy, benches and trees everywhere, surrounded by houses. When I went there it was raining so everyone was walking around with all different kinds of umbrellas, in the small streets there was the occasional bump and hair drag. I loved the small stores, they sell beautiful masks there that made me dream of a masked ball. And the food, my god the food 😩91: where do you plan on traveling this year?Nowhere unfortunately hahaha but it's okay, have many more years to come so I can wait 92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?When I was little I didn't want aaaaaany cheese on my pasta and at this point in my life I prefer to drown my pasta in it. Just the way it melts ugh fuck it's perfect 🍝🧀93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?Loose hair, sometimes a ponytail or a bun 94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?My mom, the 17th of December 😍🎉🎈95: what are your plans for this weekend?Studying my ass off for the upcoming exams that I'm extremely anxious about but oh well, can't escape it.... Unfortunately 🙄96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?The last update I procrastinated for nearly 3 months.... So you tell me HAHAHAHA I know it takes hours and usually when I'm on my laptop, I really need it right then and there so it sucks and then I forget. The update took 4 hours so, you get it 97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?Myer Briggs type: INFPZodiac sign: Aquarius Hogwarts house: I like to believe I'm Gryffindor 98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?I can't remember the last time I went hiking, I think it's been almost 2 years, yes something like that. When I went to Italy in 201699: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.- Tell me you love me by Demi Lovato- I'll be good by Jaymes Young - Love the way you lie by Rihanna & Eminem- OK by Robin Schulz & James Blunt- Praying by Kesha- High hopes by Kodaline.... I love you 💙

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vampykitty-kun · 7 years

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This is the stuff I have to deal with:

The roommate’s GF quit her job a week ago. In that time I guess she’s been applying places but honestly I’m not up her ass and have no idea what she does and does not do outside of when I see her in the house or evidence left.

In that past week the dishes in the sink built up and were never washed. I could tell that she was waiting to see how long it took for me to do them. Except that their dishes are not my responsibility. I do all of my dishes either as/after I cook or in the case of dishes brought up to my room I do let them pile up a few days then I bring them down and wash them all at once. None of those dishes in that sink are mine and I’ll be damned if I’m going to wash them.

Well today she gets fed up and has a temper tantrum.

We crossed paths in the kitchen, she was doing the dishes and cleaning the stove all the wile slamming things around and ranting about how she’s the only one who ever does shit, etc, etc. Meanwhile I’ve already explained to you all the dishes situation. But let’s address the stove shall we? What is all over the stove? Pasta sauce and coagulated oil from things being fried. I’m sure most of you have tried to clean old fried oil off the stove or wall in the past so you know what I’m talking about. Well guess what? I haven’t made pasta in weeks, and it’s been way longer since I fried something. So again, not my problem. Am I maybe guilty of some mystery sticky on the center of the stove from leaving a spoon/spatula there while cooking? Probably. I won’t lie there. But the shit she’s having a fit about is her own doing.

Moving on...

We decided last month that we were all responsible for our own food. I had to buy and cook my own, those two as a couple had to buy and cook their own, and this other guy that was living with us and just moved out a few days ago had to buy and cook his own shit too. She was getting pissed off that she was having to cook a meal for all 4 of us each night- when no one EVER asked her to, and that none of the rest of us 3 were cooking dinner for everyone ever. So the solution was us being on our own which I had ZERO issue with. Except I’m apparently the only responsible and functioning adult living here (which holy fuck am I not a good example, so guys seriously, get your shit together!!!!! You’re 30 and 26, the 19yo that was living here at least had some excuse) and am the only one that pays attention to things. She got a link card. She knows how much she was supposed to get. She got a sheet stating how much she was supposed to get. Yet there was double that on the card. They spent it all last month, and then they were flailing around freaking out because no more money popped up on it this month. So now they have no link food money. Well like I said, she quit her job, which I can understand that part as she was driving a taxi, and they were just not getting calls. So after gas and the rental fee she was coming home with like only $6 some nights. But anywho, so she has no money for food OR rent. Well he’s working 5 days a week long hours, and he’s been giving the landlord his entire check just about. So, again they have no food money. but that’s not my fault.

Well for some reason, despite her being the one to initiate the whole “everyone for themselves” rule, she felt entitled to my food. I got on his ass about it, because trying to talk to her goes nowhere and I don’t actually want to start a physical fight. I start bringing most non-fridge stuff up to my room, and stuff in the fridge is all in tied grocery bags, and freezer stuff the same other than the freezer door which is also all mine. Despite all that’s going on some days I have a lot of leftovers from what I’ve cooked, and I’ve taken pity on them and shared some of the leftovers with them because there was just that much. Most of my meat is frozen when I get it or too large like a small roast, so I can’t portion out. But I’ve either offered or he’s asked me. Now, after I've bagged all my crap up she asks one day after he’s at work what food they can eat. She then gets pissed off when I said they could mess with the pantry stuff, as we have like 6 bags of rice, a bunch of different bags/boxes and types of noodles, and a ton of veggie canned goods. But she’s pissed because I won’t let them eat like my cheese, eggs, or meats and stuff. I tell my roommate this and he actually went off on her and gave her a massive lecture about how they’re not entitled to food I paid for. Things go okay for a few days after that.

But then, I made a shepherd’s pie sort of thing the other day. I go down for another piece a few hours later to find a slice missing. Turns out she took it, without asking, and hid it in the fridge for him for when he‘d come home from work. No asking, just did it, and did not tell me until I confronted them about it.

Then yesterday 2 of the 5 bananas I bought for banana bread were missing, taken and eaten by her without asking.

And now tonight, I made myself a small pork roast, with these garlic spinach noodles, and a can of mixed veggies with butter. The roast is larger than I can eat in one sitting, I know this. I will also have leftovers of the veggies and noodles. He comes home from work, says what I’m cooking smells good, and he says he’s running to the gas station. Asks if I want some soda, I say yes and offer to pay, but he’s like I’ve got it. Cool. She says she’s going to take a shower while he’s gone. Well he leaves, she states that she’s starving, looks at my food that’s in the oven just keeping warm, and says she’ll eat some of that when she gets out of the shower- without me offering and without even asking me, and then she leaves to take her shower. Meanwhile he comes home, I let him know what she said/did and he gets all flustered and frustrated with her. I’m like dude, it’s one thing for me to offer, or for you guys to ask, but neither happened. She comes down, starts rummaging for plates, he waits it out, and sure enough there’s no asking going on. HE then asks me, I say I guess even though I really didn’t want to share, and she gets all pissy, appalled that I wasn’t just going to let them take. She starts banging plates around and making noise with the silverware. All reasonable actions but purposely made loud to show her anger. She plates food out for the two of them, gets pissed off/jealous that we’re having an in depth conversation without her, and she leaves me a butt end of the roast, a thin piece, almost entirely fat- which I can’t eat as the texture in my mouth makes me gag. Something I’ve brought up before. Meanwhile, they eat, and go upstairs, and I wash MY dishes. While washing them I can hear him go off on her about not asking and crap and she’s basically all pissy and proud and arguing with him.

Like I don’t even consider this guy a friend anymore. But we’re getting along almost as well as we did in the start having a common human to vent about, and I am admittedly getting surges of happiness when he takes my side in shit, because then I know I’m seriously in the right.

Now on top of all this, she complains to him that I don’t clean the house- when I lock myself in my room the entire time I’m home unless in the bathroom or kitchen for brief periods of time. NOTHING is my mess. She’s also bitching about the gas and internet bill and how I’ve not given her any money for it. Meanwhile NO ONE has given me any money for the electric bill since it was put in my name in February. Even with me paying $100 on it each month the bill is currently sitting at $300 and I never paid anything on it this month because I was broke until today. When it was just me during the week my bill was $25. It has gone up massively with her and the other guy and now 2 ACs running with the heat. She leaves all the damn lights on all day, I run around shutting them off several times a day and she turns them back on, and she leaves their TV and AC running 24/7 most of the time even when they’re not home. So no, I’m not giving you shit for the measly gas bill. Now the internet? This month is the FIRST bill. Prior to this bill I’m the one that paid the damn $50 deposit connection fee! But again, the electric bill applies here thereafter, and I did not agree to her getting cable on the bill that is only in their room that I don’t watch when I have it let only when it’s only in their bedroom. And on top of these bills, because she’s not working, he has asked me to pay HALF of next month’s rent to compensate, instead of 1/3. When I just paid $100 this month, and $600 the month before that they were supposed to partly pay me back for and didn’t. (rent is $600 per month). And it’s like, I do not want to be paying most of the rent, for all of the electric bill, and all of the food, to live here and be miserable while you mooch off me. Especially when I did not give my consent for her to move in in the first place, nor the 19yo guy that lived here for 2.5 months. None of this shit is fair. I’m trapped her though until my housing gets moved back out this way and the guy doing it is taking FOREVER to have a spot in his schedule free to move it. I’m going nuts.

#Vampy Rants

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adambstingus · 6 years

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12 Guys Reveal What A Woman Did In Bed That Changed What They Expected From Sex Forever

1. I finally came from a blowjob

My current girlfriend was actually one of my best friends for a year or two before we started dating. As such, she knew a lot of things about me that GFs typically wouldn’t… for instance, that I had never gotten off from a blowjob before.

Our first time messing around, she suddenly gets all dominant on me and telling me what to do. This was a really big shocker because she typically she can’t even decide if she’s hungry or not. Anyways, she goes down, and does some serious business for a solid 10 minutes. She’s going at it like her one goal on earth is to ruin this streak of BJs I’ve had with no happy ending. It was great, but didn’t get me there. So she rolls onto her back and instructs me mount her chest and fuck her face. Shit got real. Streak over. The end.

2. She wantedto be fucked to death

Met a girl at a bar. She took me home. Started fucking almost immediately. Standard right? Would have been except we were strangers an hour before this and now she was having me choke her, smack her as hard as I could, and fuck her face…pretty violently…while she laid with her head hanging off the bed.

The whole time a CD with Elton John and Tracy Chapman is playing in the background. The disparity between the vibes of Tiny Dancer/Fast Car and me choke fucking and smacking a strange woman is something I’ll never forget. 9/10 would recommend.

3. Got horny from being tickled

I hate getting tickled, but this girl that I’m with changed that up for me. One day while hanging out, she started caressing my arm and she knows that I can’t handle that because I’m way too ticklish for it. As I tried to yank my arm away, she held my arm firmly so I couldn’t yank it and just kept going. I let her and then soon enough, I wasn’t even laughing.

I was buckling at the the tickling feeling, but instead of laughing, I was getting turned on. She went further up my arm, started tickling my armpits and sides (i hate getting my sides tickled), and next thing I know, I’m hard as a rock.

4. Most natural sex I ever had

Was with a girl and she was very afraid to have sex for the first time because she thought it would hurt (her mother scared her probably so she wouldn’t sleep around). I thus took it slow with her, making out, oral etc.

One day we were making out naked and we were really into it. And she was on top of me and somehow we didn’t even notice how and suddenly I realized we were actually fucking. She first didn’t get it either, but she was riding me. It was the same motion she would do anyways, except I was somehow inside her.

It was the most natural thing I have ever experienced. No words needed. Somehow it just felt so right in that moment that her fears were erased. Later she was embarrassed how easy it was.

And we got pizza that night

5. Made a girl cum by spanking her

Hooked up a girl, during it gave her a little spank (as one will do). Got a strong reaction and that’s the story of the first time I spanked a girl to orgasm.

10/10, would do again.

6. Checked on friend in between fucking

Went out to drink with a neighbor and her best friend. My neighbor ends up getting hammered and I carry her back to her apartment toilet so she can throw up. Once there, her friend and I start making out.

Neighbor ends up passing out on the toilet but since we didn’t want to stop, we continued making out as I carried and tucked my neighbor into bed, and then over her for like 10 minutes until she seemed fine enough to leave. We ended up fucking most of the night, but had a rule that the first one to orgasm during each session had to walk over to the neighbor’s to make sure she was OK.

7. The BJ just happened

Probably going from regular conversation to blowjob in 2 seconds. I was a little caught off guard, never really had it happen like that.

8. All she wanted was a penis inside her

I met this girl online. Lindsey looked super cute in her pics and seemed like she’d be fun. I picked her up and we went to a restaurant for standard date fare. She was super quiet the entire time, it was pretty lame trying to drag conversation out of her and I kind of just gave up figuring she wasn’t into me.

So we conclude the date and I say I’ll drive her home. At this she seems offended and says she wants to come to my place instead. I was surprised but glad she wanted to spend time with me. So we get to my house, I put on a flick and literally 15 mins into the movie she is buck nekkid riding me on my couch. Turns out she was a total nympho and we went at it for about 4 hours with a couple breather breaks here and there. I remember thinking it was hilarious as there were condoms all over my room just from that encounter. I took her home but she came back the next day and we did the same thing all day and evening on Saturday, just nothing but sex. She just wanted a penis in her at all times. She came over a couple times throughout the next week and honestly I was starting to get worn out from all the sex.

We made plans for her to spend the next weekend at my house and I was looking forward to more tiresome grueling but amazing sex all weekend long. Well Friday I text her and she says she’s all about it, then a couple hours later says that she’s changed her mind and is now getting back with her ex bf. I’m thinking… “does he know what you’ve been up to for the past week” lol. But no biggie, I was disappointed but over it pretty quick, she had some screws loose for sure.

But wait.. .there’s more! So my sister had been dating a guy for a while and they had recently moved in together. I liked the guy a lot and spent a lot of time hanging out at their place. So one day he says his brother is coming over to hang out along with his pregnant girlfriend. When they walked in my eyes popped out of my head, the girlfriend was Lindsey! She recognized me but we both pretended not to know one another. I had to take my sister aside and tell her as she knew all about the nympho story. Turns out Lindsey had gotten preggers right around the time we had our little stint and broke it off with the guy, fucked my brains out for a week then got back with him.

9. I almost cock blocked myself

Late night in college as a party is winding down, I’ve been on the porch smoking and talking about art for a couple of hours and completely missing signs from one of the housemates that she wants to show me a painting in her room. She goes inside for a beer, comes back out and sits next to me, then (without much subtlety) hands me her (wet) panties under the patio table.

Now catching on with lightning speed I ask to see the (not particularly memorable) painting and then sex until dawn. We ended up dating for a year and the friends I’m still in touch with continue to make fun of me for almost cockblocking myself if she hadn’t taken the initiative.

10. I found my fetish

Scratching. It was a girl that I had (and still do) have feelings for, but it just felt really good. It was the one time her and I did anything sexual.

It got me into restraining and now I have a set of handcuffs and leg irons that are like handcuffs.

11. “Blind date”

Back in college I got some girls number at a party, completely forgot because me and my friends partied hard that night. On like Tuesday of the next week I get a text from a name I don’t recall but it’s in my phone and it just said “so when are you gonna wine and dine me?”.

I had no idea who this chick was but I told her I’m free Friday night and went on a “blind date” with a girl I had met before. We got pizza and then went out for drinks later.

So I’m wasted, we go back to her dorm room, and one thing leads to another and next thing you know 3 different parts of me had been in her in various parts laces. The “date” part of the date wasn’t very good, but that night was the first time I essentially licked a strangers butthole. Good times.

12. Left the church and got fucked

So I was raised LDS and legitimately tried to go with it, but decided I needed to be happy more than make others happy.

I left the church at 25 a virgin and decided that needed to change to really sever ties and get my new life started. Problem was that the church scared the shit out of me when it came to women that I couldn’t even get it up when the opportunity arose.

I needed someone who was understanding of my situation and turned to my last bastion of hope – Craigslist.

I ended up meeting a flight attendant in her early 40th that was actually attractive. She was in town and had her own hotel for a few days. I brought a bottle of wine and drank 4/5ths of it, I was so damn nervous.

We get down to business and she’s just playing with damp rope for a good five minutes but she was dedicated to the cause.

Ended up fucking her 12 times over two days. Highlights include getting a blowjob in a shower and fucking her in the ass without realizing it.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/12-guys-reveal-what-a-woman-did-in-bed-that-changed-what-they-expected-from-sex-forever/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/173484646592

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samanthasroberts · 6 years

Text

12 Guys Reveal What A Woman Did In Bed That Changed What They Expected From Sex Forever

1. I finally came from a blowjob

2. She wantedto be fucked to death

3. Got horny from being tickled

4. Most natural sex I ever had

It was the most natural thing I have ever experienced. No words needed. Somehow it just felt so right in that moment that her fears were erased. Later she was embarrassed how easy it was.

And we got pizza that night

5. Made a girl cum by spanking her

Hooked up a girl, during it gave her a little spank (as one will do). Got a strong reaction and that’s the story of the first time I spanked a girl to orgasm.

10/10, would do again.

6. Checked on friend in between fucking

7. The BJ just happened

Probably going from regular conversation to blowjob in 2 seconds. I was a little caught off guard, never really had it happen like that.

8. All she wanted was a penis inside her

9. I almost cock blocked myself

10. I found my fetish

Scratching. It was a girl that I had (and still do) have feelings for, but it just felt really good. It was the one time her and I did anything sexual.

It got me into restraining and now I have a set of handcuffs and leg irons that are like handcuffs.

11. “Blind date”

I had no idea who this chick was but I told her I’m free Friday night and went on a “blind date” with a girl I had met before. We got pizza and then went out for drinks later.

12. Left the church and got fucked

So I was raised LDS and legitimately tried to go with it, but decided I needed to be happy more than make others happy.

I needed someone who was understanding of my situation and turned to my last bastion of hope – Craigslist.

We get down to business and she’s just playing with damp rope for a good five minutes but she was dedicated to the cause.

Ended up fucking her 12 times over two days. Highlights include getting a blowjob in a shower and fucking her in the ass without realizing it.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/12-guys-reveal-what-a-woman-did-in-bed-that-changed-what-they-expected-from-sex-forever/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2018/05/01/12-guys-reveal-what-a-woman-did-in-bed-that-changed-what-they-expected-from-sex-forever/

0 notes

allofbeercom · 6 years

Text

12 Guys Reveal What A Woman Did In Bed That Changed What They Expected From Sex Forever

1. I finally came from a blowjob

2. She wantedto be fucked to death

3. Got horny from being tickled

4. Most natural sex I ever had

It was the most natural thing I have ever experienced. No words needed. Somehow it just felt so right in that moment that her fears were erased. Later she was embarrassed how easy it was.

And we got pizza that night

5. Made a girl cum by spanking her

Hooked up a girl, during it gave her a little spank (as one will do). Got a strong reaction and that’s the story of the first time I spanked a girl to orgasm.

10/10, would do again.

6. Checked on friend in between fucking

7. The BJ just happened

Probably going from regular conversation to blowjob in 2 seconds. I was a little caught off guard, never really had it happen like that.

8. All she wanted was a penis inside her

9. I almost cock blocked myself

10. I found my fetish

Scratching. It was a girl that I had (and still do) have feelings for, but it just felt really good. It was the one time her and I did anything sexual.

It got me into restraining and now I have a set of handcuffs and leg irons that are like handcuffs.

11. “Blind date”

I had no idea who this chick was but I told her I’m free Friday night and went on a “blind date” with a girl I had met before. We got pizza and then went out for drinks later.

12. Left the church and got fucked

So I was raised LDS and legitimately tried to go with it, but decided I needed to be happy more than make others happy.

I needed someone who was understanding of my situation and turned to my last bastion of hope – Craigslist.

We get down to business and she’s just playing with damp rope for a good five minutes but she was dedicated to the cause.

Ended up fucking her 12 times over two days. Highlights include getting a blowjob in a shower and fucking her in the ass without realizing it.

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/12-guys-reveal-what-a-woman-did-in-bed-that-changed-what-they-expected-from-sex-forever/

0 notes