#I only meant for this to be like 1 paragraph and then realized I couldn't fit in it all in to just that

[missionspecialist]

People rightly get emotional about the perceived humanity of the Mars rovers but I just have to go off for a moment about the Soviet Venera program of the 60s-80s and how it gets me feeling just as emotional.

I think part of the appeal of the Mars rovers is their longevity—they have stuck around far longer than their projected lifespans, occasionally performing little rituals that reinforce the connection between these robots and their human parents (eg. the “happy birthday” song).

In contrast, the final and most sophisticated Venera landers lasted barely 2 hours on the surface of Venus. Why? Venus is a fucking hellscape that’s like 850°F (454°C) on the surface, with an atmospheric pressure 95 times higher than Earth’s, cloaked in corrosive clouds. Despite these insane conditions, Soviet scientists and engineers sent 16 spacecraft to Venus.

They failed a lot. The first two probes didn’t even get there. Venera 3 made it all the way. On board it carried a variety of scientific sensors, and a set of Soviet medallions. It impacted the surface in March 1966, but its instruments failed long before it could send back anything relevant. It was pulverized by the pressure and melted down into slag by the heat.

A year later, a reinforced Venera 4 managed to send back the atmospheric data its sibling hadn’t been able to capture. It was the first spacecraft to take these measurements on another planet. As it descended down into the hell that it was analyzing (91°F...200°F...oh...346°F... 504°F...oh god), the probe cracked open at the top and was crushed before reaching the surface. Like an egg. Like a skull.

Due to the data it sent back, the mission was considered a success, but its engineers had actually hoped that it would have been able to endure and make a soft landing. They had designed it to survive even in the unlikely event that it landed in water, and had equipped it with a battery that would last up to 100 minutes. Initially did not want to accept that it had not reached the surface intact.

In 1970, Venera 7 was the first probe to succeed in landing, but not without its own struggles. Things were going well until just before touchdown, when its parachute failed. The probe hit harder than expected, but it was so incredibly overbuilt that this time its titanium skull did not crack, merely toppling over onto its side and throwing its transmitter out of alignment. It was presumed dead, but, as scientists would only realize weeks later, it fought on for another 23 minutes, transmitting a faint stream of data back to its home millions of miles away before succumbing to the temperature and pressure.

Into the 80s, the Soviet Union landed 6 more spacecraft on the surface of Venus. They took color photographs (the first from another planet), recorded sound, and analyzed the soil. They allowed us to pull back Venus’s poisonous veil and see something we were not designed to see. These later landers were rated to last only 30 minutes on the surface, but they generally doubled or tripled that time. Under stifling heat, toxic air, and immense pressure, they gave their best until they ultimately boiled away.

If Mars ain’t the kind of place to raise your kids, Venus is worse. The Mars rovers are like children you can watch grow up and slowly become more distant with age. The Venera probes/landers were children that their Soviet parents poured their time and energy and love into all the while knowing that they were going to be consumed in a blaze of glory turned miserable death. That their useful lifespans would be measured in mere minutes.

Maybe this is just me ascribing feelings that weren’t there to the engineers and anthropomorphizing the robots too much, I’m no scientist, but emotionally that is gut wrenching. When I first learned about these missions I cried. And not only because I feel for the spacecraft. This is also a story about a nation and culture that no longer physically exists (paralleling the landers themselves). Throwing a bunch of progressively more overbuilt stuff at a seemingly crazy task is one of the most stereotypically Soviet things I can think of. All of the Venera missions carried special medallions engraved with Soviet imagery and made out of titanium so as to withstand the Veniusian environment. On some other planet, possibly the only evidence of human existence is a bunch of melted metal and possibly a few representations of something that no longer exists, something that a lot of people at the time believed in, that held their hopes and dreams—that is haunting. To me the Venera program encapsulates a lot of the same elements of unexpected humanity as the saga of the Mars rovers, but is more tragic because it has a different level of temporality.

#feeling emotional about some hunks of metal again tonight lads #long post #sorry about that #I only meant for this to be like 1 paragraph and then realized I couldn't fit in it all in to just that #also like even if you hate the soviet union I think we can agree there is something to this #like on a human sociological level #venera #venera program #ussr #venus #mars #Soviet Space Program

[everlastiingiimmortals]

Reflection on 1.6, part 1

Hello! Now that it is morning and I have had time to reflect on the first half of the continuance (second half is not done yet), I'll be sharing my thoughts - especially in relation to Stelle because her muse reacted fairly strongly to that whole thing. Obvious spoilers and the like, everything will be tagged and under the cut.

so, right off the bat, I'd say Stelle was considerably excited to meet Ruan Mei, given her experience with her in the Simulated Universe-- she quickly grew to regret this. I don't think another character except Kafka has made her feel so small and uncomfortable from a "first" meeting. The whole checking her pulse thing?? Fucking weird.

And then Ruan Mei drugged her. I've mentioned before that Stelle absolutely hates losing any of her autonomy. It's, truly, one of the things that scares her the most. So for her to realize she couldn't speak freely, for her to realize Ruan Mei -- someone she'd previously associated with immense generosity -- had tricked her? She wanted to throttle her so badly. She felt, admittedly, stupid. Stupid for thinking Ruan Mei wouldn't do such a thing, stupid for thinking Ruan Mei's generosity meant she wouldn't be so selfish and manipulative.

Here, Herta's one comment from the very beginning of the story comes to the front of Stelle's mind in full force: "Some of them will trick you into thanking them after they milk you dry. At least I have my honesty going for me." Clearly, despite Herta's affiliation with Ruan Mei, this didn't mean Ruan Mei would hold the same set of values. Stelle felt so, so stupid for not realizing this.

Can I just say that the progression of the mission from annoying to bad to terrifying was amazing for me and absolutely horrid for Stelle

The fact that she couldn't say anything about it either really, really left her alone. Stelle, though with a strong independent streak and tendency to appreciate time to herself, really does not like being alone. Isolated. Getting trapped in that mirror maze in Locufox Forest was already a horrid situation for her, and this was another time far too soon, especially when descending into that elevator alone.

invisible stings fucking suck i hated that and so did stelle. ruan mei what is wrong with you

the creatures were cute at least

Stelle HATED Ruan Mei for her treatment of the little things too, by the way. Her idea of Ruan Mei as a selfish and utterly irresponsible person only strengthened as the mission progressed.

GOD SHE HATES BEING ALONE ALL OF THAT WAS FUCKING AWFUL IT WAS DARK AND CREEPY AND THE INCUBATOR??!?!?!?! SEEING THAT SHIT BROKEN LATER?!?!?!? SHFJDJFJDKGKSKGS NONONONONO THAT WAS AWFUL

It's really sad to me that after returning to the upper floor, seeing Ratio -- even as bewildered as she was -- was such an enormous relief. The presence of another person, here, even if they weren't supposed to be, was such a huge reassurance. Having someone willing to explain the situation, even as limited as it was, having that affirmation that yes, he knows who she is and what she's supposed to do, and yes, he will be watching in case things go south (as scathing about it as he was), was an enormous weight off her shoulder.

Speaking of Ratio, I have a bad habit of keeping headcanons close to my chest while fleshing out a muse (mostly because I forget to share them here), but I do really like this little snippet of what I've seen so far with him. The fact that he is there when he is not supposed to, I think, speaks a lot about his character. He cares. He cares very deeply, in fact. People don't become professors if they do not care about educating and raising future generations. He took the time, even in two succinct "paragraphs," to explain to Stelle exactly what she needed to know about the situation, he could tell she was scared and upset, and I think that Ratio -- despite his scathing tongue and tendency to make his students cry -- is not someone to just let that go and ignore it. His priority is people. Whether it be breaking them from the shackles of ignorance or improving their quality of life in other ways (as per his contributions to energy and such), people matter deeply to him.

Stelle went with the dialogue I chose after his explanation, which was to thank Ratio. In part due to her relief, yes, but also due to her catching on fairly quickly with Ratio's attitude about the whole situation. She figured it best to show some humility and appreciation and not waste further time with the urgency of her task. Especially since he scolded her for asking questions ANDJSKFNALFJ

Shoutout to the distaste in Ratio's voice when he referred to the swarm king I could HEAR that lip curl

HATED THAT WHOLE CUTSCENE. STELLE DON'T TOUCH THAT SHIT AUGH GROSS GROSS GROSS

I lost once to it :(

Loved how Ratio was watching over Stelle the whole time thank you sir I love you. I have no doubt in my mind that he would have stepped in if things really went bad. Fascinated at how he got the information on Ruan Mei's experiment, I wonder if that will be revealed in the second half. If not I'll come up with some shit eventually

STELLE. WAS. SO. PISSED. AT. RUAN. MEI.

SHE WANTED TO DECK RUAN MEI SO BAD. "I regret what I've done" NO YOU DON'T. YOU REGRET THAT IT WAS A FAILURE. NOT THAT YOU WENT BEHIND SCREWLLUM'S AND HERTA'S BACKS AND ENDANGERED ALL OF THE RESEARCHERS ON THE STATION. IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT'D ONLY BE ALIVE FOR 56 SECONDS THE AMOUNT OF DAMAGE IT COULD HAVE DONE IN THAT TIME WOULD HAVE BEEN IRREPARABLE. OHHH MY GOD SHE WAS SOOOO PISSED

I personally don't like how quick the Trailblazer seems to forgive Ruan Mei? I think she should be way angrier. Stelle hold a grudge girl you deserve it you almost died. My Stelle holds a grudge against Ruan Mei (and the whole of the Society at this point now. Geniuses are such fucking assholes).

Those critters are yours now Stelle, Ruan Mei ditched them all smfh

very much looking forward to more Ratio. Sir <3 <3 <3

#//immortal; (OOC) #//about; (VESSEL OF DESTRUCTION) #//about; (DOCTOR OF TRUTH) #hsr spoilers

[ludwigbeilschmidts]

a symptom of being human - master post

a symptom of being human is my humanverse gerame & pruk hetalia au. i am hoping to write a cohesive story about it one day but for now i'm compiling this information here (taken from discord & my google doc) for you to look at. i'll link to the other posts here.

all posts of this au will be tagged as #asobh.

general info.

it's set in germany. arthur meant to study abroad for two semesters, but ran into gilbert because they studied the same thing (art history) and then never left. alfred wanted to escape the unites states and went to germany as an au pair, which is where he met ludwig.

arthur and gil are 4 years older than lud and al.

ludwig has autism.

alfred & gilbert are trans.

arthur speaks fluent german, alfred is learning german but is having a much harder time learning it than arthur.

alfred and matthew are still twins, but matthew lives with his father in canada, while alfred lived with his mother in the united states. they still talk generally.

the next paragraph is technically also general info but it needs to be expanded so it gets its own bullet point list here.

gilbert and his thing with death.

terminal illness! discussion of death and dying!

gilbert has an unspecified illness that is going to kill him before he's 30. i haven't decided on what yet, but it's a degenerative disease that he was born with, and it got diagnosed when he was a young child, and he has been raised with the knowledge that he won't make it past 30.

UPDATE: gilbert has hermansky-pudlak syndrome type 1, an extremely rare autosomal disorder, that causes albinism, bleeding diathesis, immunodeficiency, and pulmonary fibrosis.

he has a life expectancy of around 30, and has been raised with that knowledge. he's well aware he's going to die.

so is ludwig, of course, but it's still hard on everyone. ludwig cannot cope with the concept well, because he cannot fully grasp it.

gilbert's mortality especially becomes an issue once the relationship between arthur and gilbert becomes serious.

because gilbert didn't talk about it when they got together, because he assumed they wouldn't stay together long enough anyway, and then suddenly arthur is proposing to him and gilbert realizes this is a conversation they have to have immediately, 'cause he will not marry him under false pretenses.

gilbert is pretty optimistic despite the dying thing, usually. he planned his own funeral because he's pragmatic like that. his testament is written and he jokes about it constantly, he doesn't care because he never knew anything else. but of course even he has his limits and gets very, very upset about it sometimes.

when it comes to leaving his family behind, or even more personal things.

like settling down or starting a family he has difficulties dealing with it. because he's good with kids, maybe would even like some, but he knows it's not really feasible. he wouldn't live long enough to see them growing up, and he couldn't put the stress on arthur on raising children alone, and he couldn't put the stress on the children either. to lose a parent. adopting isn't an option because of that, and biological kids even less so because he would be too scared of passing his illness on. and he is really struggling with it, because it's something he always wanted.

the only person gilbert really talks about his issues with is his father. gilbert can't possibly imagine how hard it must be for him to know he's going to lose his son, but he talks things through with him a lot and in the end they both feel better, especially because gilbert sometimes just needs to rant.

that and his therapist. because you bet your ass germania put this kid in therapy the moment that diagnosis came.

links.

the german family. german family part 2.

pruk.

germerica.

bad friends trio.

roderich.

misc.

fic: baby, pull me closer. [prueng, explicit]

[will be updated with other links, like arts or fic.]

#hetalia #asobh #hwa germany #hws prussia #hws america #hws england #pruk #gerame #germerica

[memberofthatonefandom]

In Space With Markiplier is So Special to Me and Here's Why

So I don't usually post original stuff on tumblr. I use this place to reblog funny posts and art, but I just had to post this here in hopes that Mark (@markiplier , just to be sure) would someday see it, and also I just needed to scream into the void about In Space and how much it means to me so so much.

So SO many spoilers ahead for parts 1 and 2 of ISWM. Also long as hell post

So I, like many others, went into In Space thinking of it like Heist. I was focusing on finding the "good ending" and making the "right choices" and finding all the easter eggs. But once Part 2 came out, I don't know what changed, but I immediately stopped seeing it like that. I started choosing the options not based off of video length or likelihood of getting a little reference to a past video, but based off of what I thought the right direction was, and what I would do personally in that situation. And the experience became so much more personal once I started looking at it like that. I started connecting with the characters in a way I just didn't with Heist or Date. I was sitting by myself in my room answering questions and responding to characters Out Loud In Character. It was like I was acting but with myself, it was wild. I don't think any other piece of digital media has pulled me in like that before.

I could talk about how much I loved the storytelling in In Space FOREVER, but I want to talk specifically about the moments that got me the most. First off, the first diner scene. Sitting there in this weird space diner with Old Man Mark, my vibes toward him (much like I think the Captain would've been at that point) were extremely standoffish. I didn't trust him, I was on guard, but when he started apologizing and realizing his mistakes and accepting that blame I immediately started feeling for him. I could already see the story in my head of Mark, younger, trying for a lifetime to fix what he thinks you broke only to realize at his old age that it was his fault all along. Fucking incredible. The constant jumping down the wormhole was fun, I went right every time on my first run, but when I got to the first opportunity to warn Mark not to go back during the bomb defusal bit, the vibe just Shifted. Immediately. One of my favorite tropes/things in media is a character who breaks another character out of any kind of time loop, or trance, or whatever, so getting to do that with Mark and watching him realize that he knows you and he calls you Captain on instinct but doesn't realize why at first. That whole scene was just fantastic.

And I wanna break paragraphs again to talk about the entire ending stretch. I will never forget the emotional feeling that I got watching the entire ending sequence for the first time. OBVIOUSLY the sequence with the "Space Was Cool" song meant a lot to me, when I was younger I would always put on music to sleep, and the original song would come on without fail every night, so needless to say that song Means A Lot To Me, but I think a scene that really hit me was the final scene in the diner. The way its just abandoned, all dark except for that one blue light (like Mark described it as being "lit by the final moon" or something similar) and Old Man Mark with his candle. It's so somber as a scene, but somehow so calming. Old Man Mark accepting the fate of the universe now that things are finally, finally going to end. In my head, I always saw (or I guess I always played) the Captain as being understanding. We've come all this way together, us and Mark, and we couldn't stop the universe from collapsing sooner, but we tried and we had a hell of a lot of fun along the way. There's just something about it, the Diner at the End of the Universe as the universe finally ends. And it's all empty now, its just the Captain and Mark here alone together as the universe caves in. And the only way I can describe it is poignant. Like its so sad, but its so calm at the same time. It's just this moment of acceptance. And the way that as the Captain walks toward the warp core, they don't stop to turn around until after the narrator is finished talking. It's almost like they were going to try to defy him one last time by not stopping to look back, before realizing that this very well could be the end of everything if they didn't stop Mark here in the next room, and they really really wanted to take that look back for just a moment. Or at least, that's how I played it. Like I said, my Captain was always pretty understanding, pretty sentimental, and definitely would've stopped to look back at the empty diner.

The final scene in the warp core. God where do I even begin? The timelapse of Mark rebuilding (or I guess building) the warp core, the echoes of your past (or future) conversations with him, the way that all of the Mark's turn to look at you at once before the real one appears. And yes I know everyone else on this god forsaken website was turned on by this scene, but honestly I was mostly just intimidated. Seeing Engineer!Mark, someone who we've seen to be goofy and incompetent, someone who doesn't even take himself seriously, suddenly be so serious that he won't even humor your attempt to take back the crystal from him? It was a little scary, like I said earlier the vibe Shifted instantly. I went from the somber conversation with Old Mark in the diner to a determination to stop This Mark from kickstarting the events that would lead to another infinite loop. So of course I chose to Hold On. Not because I thought it would lead to the "good ending," but because I put myself in the shoes of the Captain, and I knew that at this juncture My Captain would never let Mark fall back into the infinite loop he was about to put himself in, because he deserved to be free of it and know the truth. His heart was in the right place the whole time he just needed to see what he was doing was wrong. And that's why the entire scene of his breakdown hit so hard (and I think the Who Killed music might've done something to help with that). Its a testament to Real Life Markiplier's acting and how much he's improved over the years, because I was really feeling for him in this whole scene. And just the visual of the Captain, sitting there with Mark, comforting him through this horrible realization, as the universe breaks itself apart one final time so that it can go back to where it Should Be. And then waking up on the ship, and having this quiet understanding between the Captain and Mark that something happened and they've been through so much over who knows how long of a timespan, but they made it out on the other side because we didn't give up on Mark. This whole entire sequence. A fucking masterpiece of storytelling and cinematography. And I want to take a moment to commend the entire cast and crew on what a fuckin banger they've made.

But to Mark specifically, if you ever read this, I want to thank you specifically for In Space. It has not only affected me on such an emotional level that it's all that I've been thinking about for the past week since Part 2 came out, but it's also inspired me to get back into filmmaking. I've been deeply interested in it for years but never started really making videos because I was so scared of them being imperfect, but hearing you talk about it on the livestream yesterday really got me thinking, and I really want to start it up again. So Thank You To Mark Specifically for lighting that fire again with this incredible project, and in honor of that, my first Big Video Project might just be a tribute to In Space, if I can find people willing to film it with me.

Bottom line is, In Space with Mark is REALLY FUCKING COOL OKAY and it means a lot to me, and Mark inspires me a lot as an artist and I'll be thinking about this dumb little Engineer man for the next few months maybe longer

#in space with markipler spoilers #in space with markiplier #in space with mark #iswm #iswm part two #iswm part 2 #iswm spoilers #iswm captain #iswm mark #markiplier

[voidstilesplease]

By the Angel, TALK

Warning: THIS IS AN ANTI-CLARY AND JACE SPOILER RANT because I need an avenue to let out some of the steam I've been holding off since starting City of Fallen Angels. So PLEASE SKIP AHEAD because I don't want to burden you all with my reading woes.

This thing centers on the beginning of Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire and a little bit of Chapter 8. About eight pages of bad, bad romance set me off.

To start,

The rest is under the cut, so you can go away now.

So, what's been happening to Clary and Jace thus far?

This book introduced them now as an official couple, picking up from the end of TMI Book 3: City of Glass. I don't remember their every scene since then to the point in Chapter 9 where I stopped, but basically, they're having relationship issues early on. They're less than two months into their relationship, and the drama is too frickin much. 

Jace has these weird dreams about murdering Clary and waking up guilty about his subconscious thoughts, so he goes angsting about it and avoiding her, snapping at her, being a total dick, and still question why people think they are on the brink of a break-up. 

So, Jace goes with Simon in the next few scenes, in his plight to get away from her as far as possible, yet still be somehow close by being around Clary's best friend to "protect" him, so his distant behavior will be reasonable and forgivable. Yeah, make that make sense. 🙄 But of course, one way or another, they're going to have to get to the confrontation part (that I still wish had been equivalent to an actual break-up), and so that's when Chapter 8 & 9 enters.

Chapter 8: Walk in Darkness pp. 185-186

Almost instantly, the light went out of them, and the remaining color drained out of his face. "I thought --- Simon said you weren't coming." ¹

[...] "So you only came because you thought I wouldn't be here? [...] Were you ever planning on talking to me again? [...] If you're going to break it off, the least you could do is tell me, not just stop talking to me and leave me to figure it out on my own."

"Why does everyone keep goddamn asking me if I'm going to break up with you? [...]²

First, what an asshole?! 

[1] So Jace finally in-your-face's Clary and confirms that he has been keeping his distance like Clary has the plague. He then has the audacity to [2] be annoyed for being questioned on his intentions of keeping the relationship that he has been actively evading for days!

I get that Jace sucks in romantic relationships and has been fucked up by his daddy-issues, but he has the Lightwoods. Heck, Alec is his parabatai. He sees working relationships, so he has to have known that you don't just stop talking to people close to you and have them not question the behavior, whether you're trying to pull away from them or not. Otherwise, then Jace is dumb for all that he's marketed as the "best" Shadowhunter in his age. Screw that.

---

“You talked to Simon about us?" Clary shook her head. "Why? Why aren't you talking to me?"

"Because I can't talk to you," Jace said. "I can't talk to you, I can't be with you, I can't even look at you."³

[3] Way to make a girl feel special, Jace. Oh, no, yeah. He's trying to do the opposite and push her away with some teenage boy angst that doesn't make any sense. Like, who says that, though, aside from dramatic love interests that can't make a better excuse for going emo? 

That line IS TOO DRAMATIC that it hurts, ugh. 🤮

Anyway, so Clary walks out after that. I don't sympathize with her, but I'd do the same. Who wouldn't? Unless you freeze in the ridiculousness of the situation, that is, which is also likely.

Chapter 9: From Fire Unto Fire pp. 190-195

Now, here's the real shit. I want to quote this entire six-page scene back to Cassie and scream at her.

Clary reached the door and burst out into the rain-drenched evening air. [...] and was about to race across the street against the light when a hand caught her arm and spun her around.

It was Jace. [...] "Clary, didn't you hear me calling you?"

"Let go of me." Her voice shook.

"No. Not until you talk to me."⁴

[4] DUDE, what even happened to your I CAN'T TALK TO YOU, I CAN'T EVEN LOOK AT YOU speech, huh? Be consistent for once, apart from your douchebag routine. Make up your mind, Jace.

---

Still holding her by the arm, he half-dragged her around the van and into a narrow alley that bordered the Alto Bar. ⁵

[5] Man, I love a bit of rough loving in my literature, but I'm so pissed at you, Jace, don't even. Lay the hell off.

---

"I was going to tell you that I was trying to help out Simon. [...]

"And you couldn't tell me? Couldn't text me a single line letting me know where you were?"⁶ [...]

[...]

"I think," he said slowly, "that I thought that the closest thing to being with you was being with Simon. Watching out for him. I had some stupid idea that you'd realize I was doing it for you and forgive me---"⁷

[6] Addressing the lack of communication, that's a great path to follow. These two need to talk so bad. [7] But this line? Sucks Balls. You could be with her, Jacey, and save all the readers your drama if you only pull your head out of your ass and try to communicate. It's like you're allergic to it.

---

She took a step back, blindly, and nearly tripped over an abandoned speaker. Her bag slid to the ground as she put her hand out to right herself, but Jace was already there. He moved forward to catch her, and kept moving until her back hit the alley wall, and his arms were around her, and he was kissing her frantically.⁸

[8] Not only is this achingly cheesy, but it's also totally not the way they should be going off about their situation. They were already talking -arguing, yes, but they're still using words to reach out, and their relationship absolutely cannot be healthy without them. Thus far, they have spoken so less in comparison with the times they've spent canoodling. They're not solving anything by having drama on one second and getting it on with dramatic kissing on the next.

I don't care what Clary says about being so lost in love with Jace. He's treating her like shit. The least he can do is give her answers that she has the right to demand from him. Kissing is not an answer. But, well, maybe to Clary, it is because the next parts from page 192 to 194 are spent on softcore porn in a dark alley under the frickin rain. I bet that's a very romantic setting in their minds, huh.

---

And now this part:

It was nerve-wracking. She could feel the feverish heat that came off him; her hands were still on his shoulders, but it wasn't enough. She wanted him wrapped around her, holding her tight. "W-why," she breathed. "can't you talk to me? Why can't you look at me?"

He ducked his head down to look into her face. His eyes, surrounded by lashes darkened with rainwater, were impossibly gold.

"Because I love you."⁹

[9] Is that supposed to make me tingle? SET ME ON FIRE, but that is the lousiest I love you in books that I have ever read. AND IT'S THE ONLY ONE THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, at all!

Shut up with this, can you please. It's not romantic at all. It's a dumb excuse and an even dumber love from the two dumbest people in this whole frickin series. Oh my god.

Clary, realistically, will frown at this answer. She will pull the hell away and spat him in the face with how demeaning his love is if it can make her sick to the stomach with thinking he has already gone bored and is only cooking the perfect way to cut off their connection. He hasn't given her a sound reason, only desperate declarations of love like he's trying to convince them both that it's true. And it doesn't make sense how she's still plastered around him in the cold, trying to convince the readers that every word from Jace has deeper meanings that she understands no matter how gibberish they are. I'm not buying that, okay? Stop selling your larger-than-life connection bullshit because that isn't real.

You've only been together for two months, okay? The strongest you can feel for each other is lust. And it's showing.

---

His hands slid down to her waist and he kissed her, long and lingering, making her shudder.

She pulled away, "That doesn't make any sense."

"Neither does this," he said, "but I don't care. I'm sick of trying to pretend I can live without you. Don't you understand that? Can't you see it's killing me?"¹⁰

She stared at him. She could see that he meant what he said [...] Her desire for answers battled the more primal part of her brain, and lost. "Kiss me then,"¹¹

[10] NOBODY THREATENED YOU UNDER BLADE TO DO THAT BULLSHIT, so shut the hell up with the whining. [11] and Clary, I am so disappointed. You've both just drained me, and I'm dry inside like a raisin.

The next paragraphs describe their very erotic kissing against the wall. Jace, propping her up and her legs around his waist bull crap. Seriously? Am I supposed to believe these two are, what sixteen?- up until Isabelle thankfully ruins their moment by kicking a garbage can that would look better with Jace and Clary in it tbh.

---

And the nastiest horseshit of all:

Clary looked at Jace. At any other time, they would have laughed together at Isabelle's moodiness, but there was no humor in his expression, and she knew immediately that whatever they had had between them ---whatever had blossomed out of his momentary lack of control--- it was gone now. [...]

"Jace---" she took a step toward him.

"Don't," he said, his voice very rough. "I can't."¹²

And then he was gone [...]

[12] No, I frickin CANNOT. His actions keep on contradicting his words, and he's fickle and can't decide which mood to settle, and it's so exhausting, honestly. He wasted a few pages for a cosmic, meaningless declaration of feelings. They're empty words. At this point, I believe the writing only strives to convince the readers that these characters care for each other but is shitty at showing it.

It's not love, because they say it is love.

---

I was already gaining hope for this book, and then one simple few-pages scene with clace squishes it, smearing the innards on my face.

Honestly, TALK OR TAKE A BREAK. This back and forth can't continue throughout the rest of the book or -heaven forbid- the rest of the series. Or at least, put these characters in the background if they really must drag on this problem, because I care not a lick.

Bye.

#📖: city of fallen angels #current read #anti clace #anti clary fray #anti jace wayland #city of fallen angels #mid-read rant #I'm just so triggered #books #bookish #bookblr #book quotes #book lines #shadowhunters #late to the party woes #cassandra clare #what are you doing with these characters #did you forget this wasn't a twilight fanfiction or something