#I mean. I've been interested in sewing for over a decade. I just never had enough money to really get into it the way I'd like

[running-in-the-dark]

I think I mentioned that I was looking into getting a better sewing machine? well, it arrived today 🙈 that happened much faster than planned. I found the model I was looking at at a (relatively) local sewing machine store, for 30% off because it had been in the shop window, so the plastic has yellowed.

I wasn't sure how I felt about that (the website only said it was a floor model or something similar, then someone from the store called and told me the specifics and asked if that was still okay), but honestly? I never ever would have paid the full price, it was just too much, I couldn't justify that. but this reduced price was only a little more than the ones I had been looking at before (that were not great quality and probably wouldn't last very long).

I am very particular about things like this but I'm trying to make myself accept that it really is not that bad. it actually looks kinda cool. I just have to get my brain to accept that it's not a flaw, it's just a completely superficial and insignificant thing that doesn't affect its function at all. it's good that this machine that works perfectly won't end up in a landfill just because it doesn't look brand new.

I only got to try it a little bit today because I wasn't feeling well but damn, the difference to my old machine is huge!! it's so much more fun and easy to use - I love having the needle threader and that it can automatically cut the yarn when you're done. and with the start/stop button it's actually really fun to wind bobbins!! I always hated that on my old machine.

I skimmed through the manual earlier (and put page markers in it so that I can easily find anything later) - it did seem somewhat overwhelming at first. I've never used or even seen (irl) a computerised sewing machine, so of course it did! but it already felt much more familiar after just using it a little bit today. I love it 🥰

(also, I think the fact that it doesn't look perfect and brand new actually helps - I'm not afraid to use it in case I 'ruin' it!)

#I really hope I'll use it a lot #I didn't use my old one much because it was just such a hassle. #mainly little things that didn't work right #and something as simple as the way you have to thread it not being labeled clearly on the machine itself #I've got memory issues and found that very annoying (and in the end I drew the instructions on with sharpie because it got so frustrating) #I've also bought a.. probably stupid amount of little sewing things that I've wanted for years. #and an iron (got the old one second hand for 5€ and it will not stop dripping). and a set of thread (I only had thread that was old and/or #really bad quality. I can only get about 5 colours locally AND it's pretty expensive. so a set made sense... 😬) #it's the same thing every time. I get (more) into a hobby. I buy every fucking thing. I do it all day every day until it stops being the #most interesting thing on earth. and then I pick it up again like once a year but always feel guilty for not doing it enough #annnnyway #I'm very excited about all of it right now #I'm hoping it'll last a while #I mean. I've been interested in sewing for over a decade. I just never had enough money to really get into it the way I'd like #so. I don't think it'll ever completely go away at least #I've bought a bunch of vintage sewing patterns on ebay and I'm really excited to try them #I'm thinking I'll do some baby clothes first - I don't know any babies at the moment but baby clothes are small and also very adorable #so even if I mess up they'd still look cute 😂 #and I wouldn't have wasted too much fabric haha #personal

[moongothic]

A relatively quick and quite experimental crochet project to kiiinda start the year off; a crochet bag from scrap yarns! (And other scrap materials now that I think about it)

So I had some yarn left over from my blanket of darkness (I can't believe the rounds that post is making, what on earth), one untouched ball of black yarn and then three balls of yarn I had used misc amounts of. I knew right away there wouldn't be much yarn there for any big project, I did kinda considder just making myself a simple scarf but right now I'm actually in the middle of knitting four scarves to give out to family on Christmas* so between the reality that I probably wouldn't wear a striped scarf in these particular colors and me having enough scarf projects to do anyways... yeah, the idea wasn't particularly appealing

*(GOTTA GET STARTED EARLY, also it's the misc yarn I bought when our yarn shop was shutting down, the stuff I have no idea what to do with. Currently on Scarf 2, I'll probably share photos when all four are done. Eventually. Knitting is slow. So slow I had to do a crochet project between the first two scarfs because I was losing my marbles.)

Now I have Instagram so I can post art there once every six months, I'd hardly considder myself like an Insta user, but sometimes it is kind of nice to browse the things Insta reccomends because there are some lovely things posted on there. A while back, this post of these crochet bags got reccomended to me and they have been haunting me ever since. Like look at them, they're really pretty. And yeah, when I was wondering what I could do with these scrap yarns in particular... The idea of trying to make a bag seemed really fun

And specifically, making a crochet bag with a lining on it, so it'd be like, actually kind of usable. I've never made a bag, not a crochet one nor a sewn one, and I didn't want to up any tutorials or help on how to make a lined crochet bag either, I wanted to just wing it and figure it out by myself (for better or worse) (mostly worse)

So I started the project by just making the actual crochet part of it

This whole thing involved a lot of math, trial and error to figure out the Max Size of the bag I could make (also I wanted to a round bag for some god forsaken reason) with the yarn I had. I didn't have too much of this specific yarn, and I didn't want to buy any more, just use what I already had.

At the time I thought it'd be a good idea to make the "backside" of the bag a plain black, since not only the largest amount of yarn I had was black, but also because it'd be the "inside facing side" that you'd theoretically never see if I wore the bag. In hindsight I regret that decision but we'll get back to that later

I did try out a few different color layouts, tested how many stripes of what colors I could do with the yarn I had (again, math), for some reason this was the one I liked the most though (don't ask me what the numbers mean I can't remember anymore) (something about the stitches/rounds), though I did add one more round since I had just enough yarn for it

But, here is how my pieces turned out. At this point, I had no yellow yarn left and only a Very Very Small Amount of white and black, not enough to do any more rounds or make the bag or the bottom piece bigger/longer, but just enough for some sewing later on

But, with the pieces completed, it was time for me to do the lining

I've had this black fabric for years now, I got it for some project that I never actually did so it had been just sitting around, collecting dust for years, so I'm glad I finally got around to using it.

I laid it down, put the crochet pieces on top, traced them and cut 'em ✂️✨ Followed by sewing them together, a process I did not bother to take photos of because it wasn't particularly interesting.

((Also I had to take a massive break at one point because I realized I really actually needed my mom's serger but that thing was covered in decades worth of tobacco, dust and grime so it needed to be cleaned bad. There was no way in hell I was putting my fabric pieces on that filthy thing. (Also I've never used a serger before so I had to look up tutorials how to use it jdfhjkdfg)))

Once I had put the lining together I washed it (just to get any excess dust and cat hair off it) and ironed it ✨

It looks like an absolute mess, lmao, you can tell I don't do sewing (it almost looks like a tulip... And man, a tulip shaped bag could be super cute...)

But it's fine, because this lining's getting covered in crochet pieces >:)c So ain't nobody gonna see the wonky sewing once it's done! (Also to be fair, big part of the reason it looks horrendous here is because the fabric itself was like, quite floppy. Like there's nothing to hold it up and keep its structure and shape at this point)

Now, one important thing needs to be addressed here. Although at the time I thought this was the best way for me to make the bag, in hindsight I know I should've done the opposite.

I thought it'd be easier for me to first sew the fabric together and then sew the crochet pieces on top, mainly because I believed it'd be harder for me to try to do sewing if the fabric pieces also had the crochet pieces attached to them. Like they'd add bulk to the fabric and increase the risk of me sewing over the crochet and somehow damaging the crochet and/or my sewing machine (or something, I dunno).

And while in theory that might be true, I now know that I would've gotten a much nicer, cleaner looking bag if I had sewed the crochet pieces onto this fabric first, because then I would've been able to add an extra inner lining. You'll see why that would've been prettier a bit later

I just want to point this out because while the way I made the bag works just fine for me, it's not the ideal way to do it, it's not the smartest nor the prettiest way to do it, and I can't reccomend it to anyone. Just wanted to give out this disclaimer, do as I say, not as I do lmao

Anyway, with the lining done, I started working on attaching the crochet onto the fabric with the bottom piece, first pinning it down and then hand sewing it onto the fabric.

Then I did the side pieces. I was careful to start from the middle of each crochet piece, slowly moving outwards to the edges as I was attaching the pieces, leaving the edges unsewn for now...

...because next, I wanted to sew the crochet pieces together. The crochet had more stretch to it, so I figured first sewing them together and then attaching the edges of the crochet to the lining would result in a cleaner look.

Sadly I didn't have much/any yarn left to so I couldn't crochet the crochet pieces together, somekinda slipstitch would've looked much cleaner and prettier, but with the little yarn I had left I didn't want to risk running out in the middle and having to unravel it or something.

So yeah, not particularly pretty, but it worked. And with that done, it was time for me to add a strap to the bag, before I'd go finish sewing the crochet pieces onto the fabric! You'll see why I did this now!

So I had some random ass, thin, black yarn leftover from... something, so I figured I could use some of that up and I did! I made tiny crochet straps and slipped small metal rings (from my mom's hoard) on them, and sewed them onto the bag

Specifically sewed them onto the fabric, didn't want them to be visible on top of the crochet lining (which is why the edges around the bag's opening were still unsewn at this point)

And in the spirit of using things I already had, I have these two straps from one of my old goth pants (though they're actually shorts now). And they just happened to be like, the perfect lenght for an over-the-shoulder bag

No the metals don't match but beggars can't be choosers and it's fiiiiiiine. What matters is that I got a free bag strap without having to make one >:)c

One last thing I did was add some buttons to the bag to hold it closed. I wasn't originally going to add anything but when I tried the bag on, I realized it was just a little too floppy on the opening. I didn't want to try to figure out how to add a zipper or anything, so I grabbed these ancient buttons (from my mom's hoard) and sewed three of them onto the bag, so it holds its shape better

Finished sewing crochet pieces onto the fabric and finished up the very very outer edges as well, and the bag was pretty much done!

Indeed. The inside looks like ass. Although it's mainly just the white yarn that I used, since I didn't want the sewing to be too obvious on the outside I tried to match the thread I used for the sewing to the part of the crochet I was attaching. If I had an inner lining, the inside would look much nicer since all of this would be hidden underneath it, but at this point there was no way in hell I was going to rip these pieces apart just to add a lining, nah, it's fine, it's good enough for me and good enough for my first bag. But yeah, if you want to make a bag, learn from my mistake here

But, with all that done, the bag was done!

And yeah, here you can see why I regret doing the colors the way I did. More specifically, I regret making the bottom white. Like, I thought it would look cool and interesting, and I thought it'd be a waste of the white yarn to use it on "the backside" (the side noone would ever see), and I didn't have enough yarn to make the bag symmetrical on both sides (at least not without severely down playing the part of the yellow yarn in the design).

But in the end, because the bag doesn't hold its shape SUPER WELL, it makes the bottom piece more visible than I expected it to be. Like sewing on the crochet parts did add some structure to it, but it doesn't hold the tin cookie jar shape the way I had hoped it would. So the bottom is much more prominent because of that, and because the bottom part has like, some interest to it with the contrasting colors and whatever, it draws in the eye even more. Like, I really should've just made the bottom piece pure black and used whatever leftover yarns I had to make the backside of the bag.

But, it is what it is. I've made my mistake and now I get to learn from them!

In anycase, here is the bag, despite looking like an absolute mess and not turning out the way I had hoped it would, it still turned out pretty cute.

SHEER COINCIDENCE, I realized that I had this ancient little extra pocket thing (possibly from the same old goth pants as the strap, though I'm not sure, I can't remember) which just HAPPENED to be the exact same size/width as the bag. Like, I did not plan for that at all, but it's the perfect size, so I can straight up just keep the pocket on this bag and use it as an extra, separate compartment if I need one. Lmao, what are the odds

Also the strap from my old pants really is like the perfect lenght for this bag (/me, since I'm short, and it's not adjustable or anything)

Weirdest thing about this project is that it hasn't made me want to make more crochet bags, but it did make me want to learn to do embroidery so I could make custom embroidered bags jkdfhjahgfdg

(Disclaimer, the yarn part of the bag is 100% wool, I don't want to have to deal with washing it, and I don't want to get it dirty, so realistically, I am never going to wear this bag outside dfjghsdjfgh)

#Mine #Yarncraft Diary #Yarnblr #Crochetblr #Yarncraft #I shall now disappear into the void as I go into Knitting Jail

[goombasa]

Getting Past My Own Terror When Trying New Things

So over the last couple of years, i've been trying several new hobbies.

A lot of them I ended up dropping not long after starting them, much to my shame.

Now I'm back to at least dabbling in a lot of them, chiefly trying to learn digital art (both vector and raster), dabbling in game design, and fiddling around with some DAWs and banging out some simple tunes. If I had the space, I would love to drag out my fabric scraps and take another go at sewing again. I've dropped and picked up all these different hobbies on and off again for like a decade, ever since leaving college, but I just never could keep up with them. I've pondered on why for a while. A part of it might just be me. I do have difficulty focusing on things from moment to moment, but I think it's something a bit deeper than that: I think it's because I'm terrified of failure, and that terror is really hard to get over.

I compare something like drawing, something that I've only really attempted to do since leaving college, and writing, something that I've been doing constantly since middle school. At this point, writing feels like second nature to me. It's something that I've trained since very early in my life, to the point where I don't even see it as a skill anymore, it's just a part of me, something that I do. Drawing though, I haven't done any serious attempts at art since I was required to back when I was in school. I didn't really do it beyond those required art classes, and only took an interest in trying to learn it after my time in the education system was over, and now, when I try to work on it, I'm easily frustrated by the fact that progress is slow. I get intimidated and frustrated, and not long after that, I end up putting it down and not touching it again for months on end until I muster up the courage to try again. As you can imagine, this hasn't led to me making much progress.

And therein lies the issue; I want to make progress, I want to get better, and create something I feel more comfortable with sharing with other people. But I'm terrified. I know I shouldn't be, but I am. Recently, I've taken to trying very, very hard to push past that terror, that mental block that keeps telling me that, due to the fact that I'm not instantly good at it and immediately making progress, that must mean I'll never get better at it and therefore should just quit while I'm ahead. It's an incredibly toxic mindset to have about myself and my own abilities, but no matter how many times I'm reminded that things like drawing are skills that need to be trained and fostered over long periods of time, my mind works against me to tell me that if I'm not making masterpieces after a month of taking a handful of free courses on Youtube, well then, obviously I'm never going to be good at it and I should stop trying.

I've mostly forgotten one of the most important parts of trying something new, especially if it's mostly just supposed to be for a hobby and not a professional skill, at least not in the near future: have fun with it. And that's something that I've been trying hard to force into my skull at this point. I shouldn't be forcing myself to learn a new skill if I'm not going to enjoy it. I want to learn to draw because I want to create in a new way, something that's unfamiliar to me. I shouldn't worry about whether it is good or not, I shouldn't worry about what other people think of it, but years of being exposed to the idea that if it isn't good enough to sell then it isn't good enough to show has made me very self conscious of my own creations. It's a bad time.

But I think this finally might be receding. I first noticed when I stopped constantly posting to youtube, putting out videos quickly in order to try and keep my channel relevant, that I just felt better. When I started to work on videos at my own pace, just work on them when I feel like it, no matter how shoddy they were, I felt happier with the end result because I didn't feel compelled to make them out of obligation or worry. I was having fun making things again.

And I have to apply that same sort of mentality to my new hobbies if I want to keep making progress. I want to get better, for my own satisfaction.

I'm curious if anyone else out there has had a similar sort of epiphany about their own hobbies. Have you experienced that feeling of just not feeling like you're progressing fast enough, or at all, even when you're new at something. Please, let me know, how'd you get over that hurdle, how'd you get past your own personal mind games and just enjoy the stuff that you do, the stuff that you make. I'm very interested to hear how others deal with this phenomenon.

#I used to think I was just lazy #But no #turns out I'm just terrified of failure #I'm doing my best to get over it #It's tough #but it's important #Try new things #Make something new #Test your limits

[arishokk]

My birthday today and I finally turned my messenger notifications on so I could answer my dad for the first time in a few months

a 5 minute phonecall and he manages to make fun of not only my brothers girlfriend's interest, but also makes fun of me for sharing it. Something I haven't done for well over a decade. I told him its been about 12 years since he bullied me out of it and he laughed it off

very funny and also very enlightening as to why I don't answer my phone to him anymore. Its been over a literal decade and he still hasn't bothered to learn a single thing about me

He doesn't know I do 3D modeling, that I do art commissions, that I love sculpting and sewing and that I crochet from time to time. But you know who does? My fiance's parents, not only do they know but they were super intrigued by my 3D modeling and I showed them a bunch of stuff I've made when they took us out for dinner and it made me want to create more because getting praise feels good. Getting complemented feels good and makes me feel good about what I do

It's just so easy to care. It doesn't take much at all. Its just so easy and it would mean so much to me but this is what I get instead. I had a really nice birthday still, but I just wish my dad would care even in the slightest. I know it's never gonna happen but the kid in me who did like anime and shit still holds out hope that one of these days he'll regret bullying me away from what made me happy

#skitsnack

[dangerous-ladies]

lately i've found myself actively disliking wearing cosplay. i still enjoy making costumes and talking shop with other cosplayers, but the joy i used to feel while wearing what i've made has died a lot. have you ladies ever gone through this? is there a way to get that feeling back?

Absolutely. This was me to a T for a solid two or so years, from Madoka all the way to Fire Emblem just last year, which was weird considering I used to jump at literally any excuse to get in costume. Getting out of it is really about getting to the bottom of why you started to feel that way, though, and what your priorities are. For me, it was three things –– being so tired of a project that by time I finished it I loathed the idea of putting it on, starting to feel my age in costumes designed for characters in their early teens, and feeling tired of conventions in general. Here’s how I got it back: 

I decided to stop taking on projects I wasn’t really passionate about. After Overwatch and Inuyasha (which we committed to last year) we have no plans for big groups where everyone picks a character regardless of interest level. Since I do the bulk of the planning and sewing for our groups, I felt I had to lessen the load on myself in order to enjoy making costumes for myself again, so going forward we’re going to be structuring groups a little differently. A big part of this is not investing hundreds of hours into costumes I don’t care for, as it takes time away from the things I actually do want to make AND wear. I feel like there’s a huge pressure in the community to constantly have new finished costumes and that’s way too stressful and takes away my enjoyment of the craft when everything is about rapid turnover.

I confronted the fact that I am not a teenager anymore. I’m not youthful person and I have never looked young for my age, so it stands to reason that I didn’t feel convincing dressed as a fourteen year old. I took the “anyone can cosplay anything” philosophy too far and pushed myself out of my comfort zone when I really didn’t need to, and it had the adverse effect of making me feel like Sakaki in the swamp instead of feeling cute. As a result, I don’t do schoolgirls and idols and magical girls so much anymore. Now, I’m working on embracing cosplaying older or more mature-looking characters that I used to really want to do when I was younger. The new motto, spiritually jacked from Ratatouille: anyone can cosplay anything, but it doesn’t mean everyone will feel great in anything.

As for conventions: this took some finagling. One, it took starting to go to conventions outside of our usual haunts. After 10+ years, Anime North and FanExpo feel tired. Absolutely EXHAUSTING. It’s the same thing every year, and the conventions have stagnated so much that I feel like just about everyone goes out of habit rather than any real excitement or joy for it. I mean, if we’re going exclusively for a reason to dress up, why not go shooting for a weekend with friends or something? So we branched out and started going to American cons. It’s been phenomenal, honestly, and going to cons outside our area has made me relish conventions like new again. Going to Katsucon was the most fun I’ve had at a convention since my very first one, honestly! And a part of that is part two: meeting new people. I’ve been a hermit for yeaaaaars in the cosplay community, seldom venturing outside this tumblr and whatnot, but this past year I’ve started making a lot of close friends through social media and it really hypes me up to wear costumes and go to conventions again, as I’m sharing it with new friends whose vibrancy, passion and excitement is infectious. (Shout out here to Krista, Christen, Max, Bono, Tori, Mia, Tracey and the many others too numerous to name but all equally loved who have given me reason to love this hobby again in the past year!)

Anyway: I care again. I haven’t felt so excited for my upcoming costumes (Mercy, Luna and InuYasha!) in a decade.

- Jenn

If it’s a costume I don’t feel very good enough, yeah, I’ll be meh about it, but I try to find costumes I’m super passionate about because it makes all the difference! Like, I felt OK in Sailor Mars, but she wasn’t my favourite scout, so it was natural to not feel as passionate about it. But I feel amazing in Sumia because I feel I can portray her very well, so I find something I’ll feel so good in, and I had a hand in. I like projects that are my niche and that I’ll look so good in!

For me it was also the reverse for a long time –– I didn’t like making them because I was scared of learning to sew but I liked to wear them. Now that I’m learning to sew I’m a lot more excited because I feel that much more connected to it.

- Emmy

If you enjoy making costumes but just don’t want to wear them, you can take a break. Make costumes for other people for a while, or work on real clothes or something different from what you’re burned out on. That’s what I did when I felt it; I said whatever, I’ll just sew other stuff. The best thing you can do is try something else for a while until you find a project that motivates you again.

- Christine

The ladies have pretty much said everything that could be said perfectly, but here are some of my experiences. I’ve had a very brief stint with cosplay compared to others, but the ups and downs have not eluded me. While I had always wanted to cosplay, I guess I never wanted to do it alone. I was always timid to go to cons by myself and never felt strong enough to venture into making costumes on my own. Meeting my friend Erin changed that completely because I met somebody who wanted to be a part of it with me. Suddenly it was this wave of going hard on making things I never thought I would make even though I can look back on it now and see how terribly I made things hahaha. I started with my Cass Cain Batgirl and Chell from Portal. Two crazy starts for me personally as I had never sewed, worked with acrylic, vinyl, fibreglass and bondo. Making them felt invigorating! However, over time, my living and financial situations didn’t really allow for me to have creative space (4-6 adults in an apartment, yikes!). I also went hard into my work so my passions kind of fell to the wayside. Erin moved away to a different continent for a couple of years, but she’s back now woo! I didn’t have many other friends I felt close enough to and as Jenn previously said, Fan Expo and Anime North don’t inspire much creativity or a fresh, exciting environment so even if I went with other friends, it was just going through the motions. I wasn’t inspired to attempt to learn more. I didn’t feel like any characters really connected with me and the ones that did, like Shepard from Mass Effect, I was too scared to attempt alone. Little by little, I fell out of it. I didn’t want solo projects, I wanted to be a part of something.

Joining the Dangerous Ladies has completely rejuvinated my love for it. The first group project I joined was for Sailor Moon, how could I not be excited to do one of my first loves? Lucina has given me life, I could do version after version of her and wear her for years, I absolutely adore her. The thought of being Ana from Overwatch and doing an Inuyasha cosplay (Sango) excites me to no end. I’m more brave and have more opportunities and motivation to learn more. I’ve already learned so much in the few years being with them and WANT to learn more! The passion is back. My love for gaming and anime feels alive again in a way I can visually express it. The new cons we’ve ventured to have been phenomenal and the people we have met have been such an inspiration and so much damn fun to be around. Finding the right people to be around, work, and travel with has been so important for me to find my love for cosplay again and I am so happy that I found it.

All this rambling comes to this: Find out what the source of your distaste for it is. What drove you to love cosplaying in the first place? Find that drive and source of inspiration and love. Search for new ventures that will motivate you to try out new things! All the best!

- Shazz