#I know how to impersonate allistics but I don't know why they are laughing

[mobgeo]

I feel so clueless on how jokes work. I know what makes people laugh, and I can repeat what makes them laugh so I can be funny, but I still don't understand the joke itself. I know how to make people laugh but I don't understand WHY it elicits laughter

#I don't understand people. I don't understand how socializing works #It's like I'm pretending to be a person who understands social cues #I know how to impersonate allistics but I don't know why they are laughing #It's a fun house mirror but I don't see my own reflection #you know? #Even with other autistic people I just still. Don't understand so many jokes that circle the internet and in real life conversations #I wish I could understand why people enjoy something so deeply while laugh #I swear to god I'm autistic. but no one in the system understands it #like #I understand the ADHD is so strong in others they just don't understand the subtle autistic traits #Everytime I talk to anyone it just feels like a weird inside joke that I wasn't there for #except I WAS there #the things I do find funny... sometimes others laugh along but it still feels so separate on what others find entertaining #sounds are just too much. all the time #I can't think about how loud a sound is without just wanting to... #remove my brain or something #I think being autistic is so painful. Not to get really real but I'm #so tired of just not understanding anyone around me or getting so overwhelmed by the slightest thought of a interaction to anyone #and everyone I know #ah. #I could go on forever. I just need to watch season three so i stop fronting #txt #autism is so hard. guys.