#I have to start sitting in on AA and NA meetings which makes me extremely scared bc I gotta go alone to those 🥲
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I’m starting all the big girl stuff and learning how to do diagnostics and treatment methods. Way to make me equally terrified and excited 🥲
#I have to start sitting in on AA and NA meetings which makes me extremely scared bc I gotta go alone to those 🥲#but yeah we really gettin in it now#bc right now I’m doing focus areas addiction and substance abuse and then neurodevelopmental disorders in children#but both are starting off with basic clinical practices#and it’s also a little funny bc in one of my classes today I was sitting there like ‘ohhh that’s what my therapist was doing’#but yeah I’m scared but also not scared#and I’m like ‘yay my copy of the DSM-V is finally gonna be put to use’#but I’m actually far more scared bc actual clinical internships aren’t the far future now#that shit is SOOOOOON and what if I’m bad at it 👀#I mean I’m sure I’ll be fine BUT THAT SHIT IS COMING UP IT AINT A WHEN IM OKDER THING ANYMORE#ITS LIKE NEXT SEMSESTER 🥲
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What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/what-to-do-when-you-are-addicted-and-have-no-where-to-turn/
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What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241842 https://ift.tt/2rj6hKR
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Text
What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/what-to-do-when-you-are-addicted-and-have-no-where-to-turn/
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Text
What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241844 https://ift.tt/2rj6hKR
0 notes
Text
What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
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What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn
If you are trapped in drug addiction or alcoholism then it is not surprising to me at all if you feel as if you have no where to turn to.
The truth is that you do have a place that you can turn to, and that place is at inpatient treatment.
Get on the phone right now and call a rehab center. Ask them what is necessary for you to come to treatment. If you cannot figure out how to get into that particular facility, ask them to refer you to another place, or resources that can help you. Keep asking questions until you can get to the help that you need.
It is important that you realize the truth, which is that any alcoholic and any drug addict can get the help that they need in order to recover. However, it has to be an active pursuit of recovery, meaning that you have to actually put forth the effort to make it happen. You cannot expect for the perfect life in recovery to just fall into your lap. It is going to take some effort on your part, and part of that effort might be in figuring out how to get the ball rolling. Getting into inpatient treatment can be the biggest part of that process.
Once you are get into an inpatient treatment facility, doors start opening up for you. One of the big opportunities is to get involved and to follow up with 12 step recovery. There are 12 step meetings pretty much everywhere, and now there are all sorts of other organizations that are similar to AA and NA that offer help as well. It is simply a matter of finding those resources and then tapping into them.
Any alcoholic or drug addict can walk into one of these support type meetings and get instant help. The fact is that even if you feel as if you have no one in the world to turn to and no help at all available to you, this simply isn’t the case. You can walk into any of thousands of different AA or NA meetings and get instant help and support. The same thing is true of rehab centers. Their entire reason for existing to help people who feel just like you do right now.
You may feel as if you have no hope at all and no reason to go on, but I can assure you that there is hope. No matter how far down you have gone into the depths of your addiction, it is possible to restore yourself to sanity and life a healthy life again. You can even find happiness, freedom, and even joy in the future. But, you have to be willing to do the work involved. You have to be willing to ask for help and then follow directions.
This is what it really means to have a genuine humility about yourself in early recovery–to be willing to follow directions. If you are still at the point at which you are trying to control the situation and you don’t want to be told what to do or how to live your life then you probably are not yet ready to get clean and sober.
The moment of extreme desperation is when you finally surrender and become willing to do whatever it takes. This means that you are willing to ask for help, you are willing to listen to the advice you are given, and you are willing to face some fear and discomfort in order to move forward. When they told me that I had to go to rehab and attend groups and sit in AA meetings, I was honestly terrified of the idea because I had a certain amount of social anxiety to deal with. But I was so miserable and I was so sick and tired of my addiction that I was willing to do whatever it took in order to turn things around, and so that meant that I had to
So my hope for you is that you surrender completely to the fact that you cannot drink or use drugs like a “normal person,” and that you need serious help. Once you reach this level of surrender you just need to ask for help and start following direction. If you try to figure out your own path to recovery then you are very likely to get caught up in self sabotage instead.
At the point of real surrender, when you believe that you are almost completely hopeless and that you have no where to turn, you need to reach out and ask for help. The best place to ask for help from is professional treatment centers. If you can get yourself checked into a rehab facility then that changes the entire dynamic of your situation, because suddenly you have an overwhelming amount of support and help for your problem.
Once you go to inpatient treatment you are going to slowly wake up to the fact that you do, in fact, have a huge support system that is willing to help you, provided you are willing to reach out and tap into that support system. Programs such as AA and NA will give you this kind of support so long as you are sincere about wanting to turn your life around. If you show even a tiny amount of humility and willingness then those programs can definitely give you a ton of support.
If you are earnest about your recovery and you actually do the work involved in pursuing personal growth, then eventually you will become a resource that other people turn to for help. Imagine that–you find yourself in a state of hopelessness and desperation, but eventually you become someone who others can actually turn to for help. How is this transformation possible? I realize that if you are still stuck in addiction or alcoholism, you may not believe that such a transformation is possible for you. But I can assure you that it is very possible, and that any alcoholic or addict–no matter how far down they have gone in their addiction–can achieve this new life of hope and freedom. But, you do have to work for it.
That work begins when you surrender and check into a treatment center, starting you on a new path in life and a new journey. What you are really doing in early recovery is discovering this new path and this new life for yourself, which really means that you need to first clear out the old life first. This is why total and complete surrender is a necessary first step–if you are still clinging to the past then you cannot build a new future for yourself. This is why you must let go completely of your old life, your old ideas, and even some of your old relationships in some cases.
But do not be overwhelmed with all of those details just yet. The first step is actually pretty simple, and it involves picking up the phone and reaching out for help. Call a treatment center and just get the ball rolling. Ask questions. Ask them how you can get yourself the help that you need to turn your life around. If you are not finding the answers that you seek, call another treatment center up.
When you reach out and ask for help in this manner, what matters most is that you are willing to take their advice and actually follow through with their recommendations. This requires a leap of faith. If you are truly sick and tired of your addiction and life of chaos, then you will be willing to make this leap of faith. If you are sick and tired of being miserable then you will be much more willing to trust the professionals to help you.
Once you go to rehab, things will start falling into place. You will find a support network that is more than willing to help you in your new life. All you have to do is to initiate the treatment process and be open to the possibilities. Keep an open mind and be willing to follow directions. Good luck to you on your journey!
The post What to do When You are Addicted and Have no Where to Turn appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from http://www.spiritualriver.com/addiction-treatment/what-to-do-when-you-are-addicted-and-have-no-where-to-turn/
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What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed?
If you are worried about sobering up only to become lonely or depressed in your recovery, let me reassure you about a few things.
First of all, I want you to know that this was my biggest fear when I was still stuck in alcoholism and drug addiction. I was honestly worried that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any fun any more in my life and I would be extremely depressed. What would be the point of life if I could not let loose and have fun with drugs or alcohol?
Second of all, I believed that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any friends in my life again, because all of my existing friends were really just drinking buddies and people that I got high with. The people in my life who I did not drink or use drugs around slowly drifted away from me because I wanted to get drunk or high every minute of every day if I possibly could. Therefore I surrounded myself with people who were trying to do the same thing.
So I used these two things as an excuse of sorts in order to keep myself stuck in denial, and stuck in my addiction.
Every once in a while I would go through a brief period of time in which I would suddenly stop drinking or using drugs–just for a day or two maybe. And during those two days or so I would start to experience withdrawal, and my body would feel sick and awful. And I can look back now and realize that what I was doing was that I was projecting that feeling of being sick with withdrawal on to the entire experience of sobriety. I was imagining that if I stayed clean and sober that I would feel sick forever.
I was doing the same thing when it came to loneliness. I assumed that if I became clean and sober that I would still be following the same social pattern as I had when I was drinking heavily, only I would no longer have the booze to comfort me. So I imagined that if I were to quit drinking that I would just be lonely and miserable all the time, so why not just drink and make myself “happy,” right?
These were the things that kept me stuck in denial, and I honestly believed that if I were to get clean and sober that my loneliness and my depression would only get worse. I was in denial so I could not see that my drinking and my drug use was so extreme that it was isolating me and creating the very loneliness that I was afraid of.
So let me tell you my experience when I finally surrendered to the fact that I could no longer drink or use drugs successfully. I was at the end of my rope and I was sick and tired of being so incredibly miserable all the time. I wanted everything and everyone to just go away. I was miserable and I was tired of it all.
What happened is that I finally reached a point in which I became willing to try something else. I had just the tiny bit of willingness left in my body and I was barely willing to try to “fix” my problem. Keep in mind that I had already been to treatment twice before and I felt like there was nothing that I could learn from those experiences. I had a lot of social anxiety and I did not like sitting in groups or speaking in meetings and this is partially why I drank alcohol in the first place–because it “fixed” this part of my personality, and it allowed me to open up and become less shy and actually have a conversation in a group of people or with a female. I was normally afraid of my own shadow and when I had a few drinks in me it completely fixed that particular problem.
And of course I reached a point in which finding that sweet spot–the point at which I had consumed just enough alcohol and other drugs to socially lubricate me perfectly without going overboard–became harder and harder to reach. I could certainly reach that point of confidence in my drinking, but I often would go roaring past it until I was completely out of control.
And I lived this way for a long time, and I struggled and struggled to find the sweet spot. I just wanted to be happy all the time, why was that so hard? Couldn’t I pour liquid pleasure down my throat every day after I put in a work day and become instantly happy? It used to work so perfectly for me, why was it failing me now?
The fact was that, in the beginning, it did work perfectly. That is why we become addicted–because our drug of choice actually does exactly what we want it to do, at least initially.
In the long run, our tolerance changes and we have to take more and more and unintended consequences start to pop up as our drug of choice becomes less and less effective for us.
I finally reached a point in which I had a revelation. I realized that, while glimpsing my own future, I was never going to be consistently happy if I continued to rely on alcohol and drugs to create that happiness. For the first time, I realized that it was no longer working so well, and that I would struggle through weeks of misery until I stumbled into a “good night” in which everything lined up perfectly and I became “happy” while drinking and taking drugs.
That was my big revelation. And I had no great assurance that if I sobered up and went to rehab that I would be happy one day, or that I would make new friends, or that my life would become better without drugs or alcohol in it.
But that is what happened. I went to rehab and I started to do what I was told to do. I assumed that I would be miserable for a while, and I sort of slogged my way through the first few weeks of recovery, and I went to rehab and did what the counselors told me to do.
That was the best thing I ever chose to do. In going to rehab I was able to turn my whole life around, I got a new peer group in AA and NA, and eventually I was grateful, happy, and free on a daily basis.
Of course I had to put forth quite an effort to make that happen. But I realize now that staying in addiction and hustling up drugs and alcohol every day required a lot of work too. So I could put this effort into my addiction and get a certain amount of happiness out of it, or I could put that same amount of effort into sobriety and I would get a certain amount of happiness out of it.
And if you force yourself to “endure” about, say, 2 or 3 months of recovery, you will realize that the amount of happiness that you get from sobriety is far greater than what you were getting out of your addiction. It is a slam dunk.
And you won’t be lonely again either, because recovery is mostly based on social programs such as AA and NA. You will meet people who genuinely want to help you in your recovery journey. And you never have to be alone again, because there is always someone who is willing to talk, someone willing to go to a meeting, someone willing to talk recovery over a cup of coffee. You can have this new life and you can enjoy real freedom and happiness again, so long as you are willing to make a leap of faith and check into a 28 day program. Are you ready for a new life?
The post What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed? appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
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Iron Lady of Indiranagar - A Personality Profile
She has piercing black eyes. Her stride is confident and she has a ‘no nonsense’ look on her face. Her voice is that of a town crier. Even at the end of a long day, there is not a hair out of place and her sari never looks crumpled.
Draped in a yellow and blue nylon sari with floral prints, she sat in front of me eagerly waiting to be asked questions. We were sitting inside her little house in Indiranagar. ‘It’s a very posh place, Aishu. The rent is very high.’ She said, in a rather pompous tone.
She was proud of the fact that she lived in the heart of one of Bengaluru’s poshest areas and has a supercilious air because I live on the periphery of the same area.
Rajamma, a 54 year old woman, is a mother to seven girls, a grandmother to more than seven children and is one of the two wives of Aiyappan, the former local hero. This domestic help is the mainstay of one pocket of Indiranagar. Without her, several households would flounder helplessly every morning and she is aware of this fact and is proud of it.
When I asked her about her job, she gave me the impression that she doesn’t actually need the money she is earning and that she is quite well off. She calls her work a form of ‘charity’ except, she gets paid for it. She said, “Yengalukku oorilay neraiya soththu irukku.” (We have a lot of property in our village.)
“Instead of sitting idle at home, I come to work because that way I thought I would help a few people.” she continued.
Through the course of the interview, I could make out her love for gossip. Unasked for, she very eagerly shared with me various ‘scandals’ in the personal lives of several of our neighbours, which from personal knowledge I knew to be untrue.
She seemed to be a queen of exaggeration as well, blowing out of proportion even trivial happenings in the neighbourhood. The theme of her entire narrative being that she and her family were virtuous, spotless people while everyone else seemed to be cunning and stingy.
“Do you know that during the tsunami (in Chennai) our family donated 20 buckets, 30 saris and 15 bedsheets? Jayanthi amma’s family (referring to one of our neighbours) did not give anything.” she mentioned. From personal knowledge, I knew that both her claims of her family’s generosity and Jayanthi amma’s miserliness were totally untrue. She gave several such concocted instances. I was amazed that she uttered each lie with utmost conviction.
‘How much did you get in your tenth standard Aishu?’ she asked. Rajamma is a very competitive person, especially when it comes to her grandchildren. Velu Murugan, her favorite grandson whom she fondly calls ‘Veluu’ is a nineteen year old boy whose inspiration is his grandfather. Rajamma firmly believes that Velu Murugan is a god’s gift to mankind. She would compare the kids in the locality to him; since most of the kids were between the ages of sixteen to nineteen.
When I asked her if she believed in ghosts and other supernatural beings, she looked at me in disbelief and then proceeded to give an elaborate account of her encounters with such beings.
“You know Aishu, I saw a ghost in the morning. She kept following me. I was extremely scared but I didn’t show it on my face. I asked her what she wanted and she said, ‘Rajuu, you are a very honest person. I will not trouble you because you have such a good soul and I will make sure nothing bad happens to you.’ and then she disappeared.” She said with a brave look on her face. Rajamma loved being called ‘Rajuu’. It made her feel loved. And most of the people who call her ‘Rajuu’ are all the ghosts and the flying snakes in the locality.
She made sure to mention to me several times during the interview that she has an extremely good soul and a thangamaana manasa (a golden heart)
When asked about what her daughters do for a living, she mentioned that most of her daughters work in garment units, something I noticed Rajamma is very proud of. “Daan [Duh-aa-na] and Vanaja are the only ones who didn’t want to take up regular jobs. They said they wanted to help me and that’s why they also work as domestic help.” She explained.
I asked her how many houses she works in each day. She thought about it for a while and used her fingers to count. “About eleven including the bakery, the tea shop and the local Nandini milk agent.” She answered earnestly.
After she described her daily schedule, I was overwhelmed. How does one manage to do so much work in one day?
Rajamma’s day starts at four thirty in the morning where she helps the milk agent receive the daily load of milk and curd packets from the Nandini truck, sorts them out and instructs the delivery boys on how many packets to drop at each house in the area.
Then she sweeps and washes the steps of the bakery and moves on to sweep and wash the front yards of eight houses in the area and draws a rangoli in front of each house.
She proceeds to do the same in front of the tea shop. The tea shop, Idli Factory sells idlis, dosas and kuli paniyaros in addition to piping hot tea. The owner gives her four steaming idlis from the first batch of the morning, and a glass of hot sweet tea. She then mentioned that she likes her tea strong and sweet. After gulping down the idlis and the tea, she would rush back home to make breakfast for her husband.
After that, she comes back to the tea shop to wash the plates and glasses used by early morning customers. She then starts doing the rounds of the eight houses that she works in. She washes dishes, sweeps and mops the floor for all the houses and even washes clothes for a few of them. She first visits houses of working couples. Houses where there are housewives are low on her priority list. She attends to them later in the day.
She goes home at one and then prepares lunch for herself and her husband and then rushes back to the tea shop to wash dishes. She returns home at around five and rests for two hours and again goes back to the tea shop to wash the remaining dishes. Rajamma earns around Rs 20,000 monthly.
“Did you attend school?” I asked her. She nodded eagerly. “Yes yes. I went to a Kannada medium school. I studied till the tenth standard and then my parents got me married so I couldn’t study further.” She replied.
Rajamma got her daughters educated till P.U.C using her own money. “It was very hard. My husband doesn’t earn much.” She said when I asked her if it was hard to pay the fees for her daughters’ education.
A few years ago, Rajamma and some of her family members converted to Christianity after the local church authorities offered free education for her grandchildren and monetary help for building a pucca house.
She made it clear that she would not ask her daughters to look after her in her old age. She’s saving up money for it herself and even has a bank account.
Despite not being highly educated and struggling hard to make ends meet, she came across as an extremely self-confident woman who would tackle any problem in her life without indulging in self-pity. It left me wondering what she would have achieved had she received a proper education and family support. She would have made a great politician.
-Anindita Rao
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What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed?
If you are worried about sobering up only to become lonely or depressed in your recovery, let me reassure you about a few things.
First of all, I want you to know that this was my biggest fear when I was still stuck in alcoholism and drug addiction. I was honestly worried that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any fun any more in my life and I would be extremely depressed. What would be the point of life if I could not let loose and have fun with drugs or alcohol?
Second of all, I believed that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any friends in my life again, because all of my existing friends were really just drinking buddies and people that I got high with. The people in my life who I did not drink or use drugs around slowly drifted away from me because I wanted to get drunk or high every minute of every day if I possibly could. Therefore I surrounded myself with people who were trying to do the same thing.
So I used these two things as an excuse of sorts in order to keep myself stuck in denial, and stuck in my addiction.
Every once in a while I would go through a brief period of time in which I would suddenly stop drinking or using drugs–just for a day or two maybe. And during those two days or so I would start to experience withdrawal, and my body would feel sick and awful. And I can look back now and realize that what I was doing was that I was projecting that feeling of being sick with withdrawal on to the entire experience of sobriety. I was imagining that if I stayed clean and sober that I would feel sick forever.
I was doing the same thing when it came to loneliness. I assumed that if I became clean and sober that I would still be following the same social pattern as I had when I was drinking heavily, only I would no longer have the booze to comfort me. So I imagined that if I were to quit drinking that I would just be lonely and miserable all the time, so why not just drink and make myself “happy,” right?
These were the things that kept me stuck in denial, and I honestly believed that if I were to get clean and sober that my loneliness and my depression would only get worse. I was in denial so I could not see that my drinking and my drug use was so extreme that it was isolating me and creating the very loneliness that I was afraid of.
So let me tell you my experience when I finally surrendered to the fact that I could no longer drink or use drugs successfully. I was at the end of my rope and I was sick and tired of being so incredibly miserable all the time. I wanted everything and everyone to just go away. I was miserable and I was tired of it all.
What happened is that I finally reached a point in which I became willing to try something else. I had just the tiny bit of willingness left in my body and I was barely willing to try to “fix” my problem. Keep in mind that I had already been to treatment twice before and I felt like there was nothing that I could learn from those experiences. I had a lot of social anxiety and I did not like sitting in groups or speaking in meetings and this is partially why I drank alcohol in the first place–because it “fixed” this part of my personality, and it allowed me to open up and become less shy and actually have a conversation in a group of people or with a female. I was normally afraid of my own shadow and when I had a few drinks in me it completely fixed that particular problem.
And of course I reached a point in which finding that sweet spot–the point at which I had consumed just enough alcohol and other drugs to socially lubricate me perfectly without going overboard–became harder and harder to reach. I could certainly reach that point of confidence in my drinking, but I often would go roaring past it until I was completely out of control.
And I lived this way for a long time, and I struggled and struggled to find the sweet spot. I just wanted to be happy all the time, why was that so hard? Couldn’t I pour liquid pleasure down my throat every day after I put in a work day and become instantly happy? It used to work so perfectly for me, why was it failing me now?
The fact was that, in the beginning, it did work perfectly. That is why we become addicted–because our drug of choice actually does exactly what we want it to do, at least initially.
In the long run, our tolerance changes and we have to take more and more and unintended consequences start to pop up as our drug of choice becomes less and less effective for us.
I finally reached a point in which I had a revelation. I realized that, while glimpsing my own future, I was never going to be consistently happy if I continued to rely on alcohol and drugs to create that happiness. For the first time, I realized that it was no longer working so well, and that I would struggle through weeks of misery until I stumbled into a “good night” in which everything lined up perfectly and I became “happy” while drinking and taking drugs.
That was my big revelation. And I had no great assurance that if I sobered up and went to rehab that I would be happy one day, or that I would make new friends, or that my life would become better without drugs or alcohol in it.
But that is what happened. I went to rehab and I started to do what I was told to do. I assumed that I would be miserable for a while, and I sort of slogged my way through the first few weeks of recovery, and I went to rehab and did what the counselors told me to do.
That was the best thing I ever chose to do. In going to rehab I was able to turn my whole life around, I got a new peer group in AA and NA, and eventually I was grateful, happy, and free on a daily basis.
Of course I had to put forth quite an effort to make that happen. But I realize now that staying in addiction and hustling up drugs and alcohol every day required a lot of work too. So I could put this effort into my addiction and get a certain amount of happiness out of it, or I could put that same amount of effort into sobriety and I would get a certain amount of happiness out of it.
And if you force yourself to “endure” about, say, 2 or 3 months of recovery, you will realize that the amount of happiness that you get from sobriety is far greater than what you were getting out of your addiction. It is a slam dunk.
And you won’t be lonely again either, because recovery is mostly based on social programs such as AA and NA. You will meet people who genuinely want to help you in your recovery journey. And you never have to be alone again, because there is always someone who is willing to talk, someone willing to go to a meeting, someone willing to talk recovery over a cup of coffee. You can have this new life and you can enjoy real freedom and happiness again, so long as you are willing to make a leap of faith and check into a 28 day program. Are you ready for a new life?
The post What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed? appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241844 http://ift.tt/2tPn2BJ
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What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed?
If you are worried about sobering up only to become lonely or depressed in your recovery, let me reassure you about a few things.
First of all, I want you to know that this was my biggest fear when I was still stuck in alcoholism and drug addiction. I was honestly worried that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any fun any more in my life and I would be extremely depressed. What would be the point of life if I could not let loose and have fun with drugs or alcohol?
Second of all, I believed that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any friends in my life again, because all of my existing friends were really just drinking buddies and people that I got high with. The people in my life who I did not drink or use drugs around slowly drifted away from me because I wanted to get drunk or high every minute of every day if I possibly could. Therefore I surrounded myself with people who were trying to do the same thing.
So I used these two things as an excuse of sorts in order to keep myself stuck in denial, and stuck in my addiction.
Every once in a while I would go through a brief period of time in which I would suddenly stop drinking or using drugs–just for a day or two maybe. And during those two days or so I would start to experience withdrawal, and my body would feel sick and awful. And I can look back now and realize that what I was doing was that I was projecting that feeling of being sick with withdrawal on to the entire experience of sobriety. I was imagining that if I stayed clean and sober that I would feel sick forever.
I was doing the same thing when it came to loneliness. I assumed that if I became clean and sober that I would still be following the same social pattern as I had when I was drinking heavily, only I would no longer have the booze to comfort me. So I imagined that if I were to quit drinking that I would just be lonely and miserable all the time, so why not just drink and make myself “happy,” right?
These were the things that kept me stuck in denial, and I honestly believed that if I were to get clean and sober that my loneliness and my depression would only get worse. I was in denial so I could not see that my drinking and my drug use was so extreme that it was isolating me and creating the very loneliness that I was afraid of.
So let me tell you my experience when I finally surrendered to the fact that I could no longer drink or use drugs successfully. I was at the end of my rope and I was sick and tired of being so incredibly miserable all the time. I wanted everything and everyone to just go away. I was miserable and I was tired of it all.
What happened is that I finally reached a point in which I became willing to try something else. I had just the tiny bit of willingness left in my body and I was barely willing to try to “fix” my problem. Keep in mind that I had already been to treatment twice before and I felt like there was nothing that I could learn from those experiences. I had a lot of social anxiety and I did not like sitting in groups or speaking in meetings and this is partially why I drank alcohol in the first place–because it “fixed” this part of my personality, and it allowed me to open up and become less shy and actually have a conversation in a group of people or with a female. I was normally afraid of my own shadow and when I had a few drinks in me it completely fixed that particular problem.
And of course I reached a point in which finding that sweet spot–the point at which I had consumed just enough alcohol and other drugs to socially lubricate me perfectly without going overboard–became harder and harder to reach. I could certainly reach that point of confidence in my drinking, but I often would go roaring past it until I was completely out of control.
And I lived this way for a long time, and I struggled and struggled to find the sweet spot. I just wanted to be happy all the time, why was that so hard? Couldn’t I pour liquid pleasure down my throat every day after I put in a work day and become instantly happy? It used to work so perfectly for me, why was it failing me now?
The fact was that, in the beginning, it did work perfectly. That is why we become addicted–because our drug of choice actually does exactly what we want it to do, at least initially.
In the long run, our tolerance changes and we have to take more and more and unintended consequences start to pop up as our drug of choice becomes less and less effective for us.
I finally reached a point in which I had a revelation. I realized that, while glimpsing my own future, I was never going to be consistently happy if I continued to rely on alcohol and drugs to create that happiness. For the first time, I realized that it was no longer working so well, and that I would struggle through weeks of misery until I stumbled into a “good night” in which everything lined up perfectly and I became “happy” while drinking and taking drugs.
That was my big revelation. And I had no great assurance that if I sobered up and went to rehab that I would be happy one day, or that I would make new friends, or that my life would become better without drugs or alcohol in it.
But that is what happened. I went to rehab and I started to do what I was told to do. I assumed that I would be miserable for a while, and I sort of slogged my way through the first few weeks of recovery, and I went to rehab and did what the counselors told me to do.
That was the best thing I ever chose to do. In going to rehab I was able to turn my whole life around, I got a new peer group in AA and NA, and eventually I was grateful, happy, and free on a daily basis.
Of course I had to put forth quite an effort to make that happen. But I realize now that staying in addiction and hustling up drugs and alcohol every day required a lot of work too. So I could put this effort into my addiction and get a certain amount of happiness out of it, or I could put that same amount of effort into sobriety and I would get a certain amount of happiness out of it.
And if you force yourself to “endure” about, say, 2 or 3 months of recovery, you will realize that the amount of happiness that you get from sobriety is far greater than what you were getting out of your addiction. It is a slam dunk.
And you won’t be lonely again either, because recovery is mostly based on social programs such as AA and NA. You will meet people who genuinely want to help you in your recovery journey. And you never have to be alone again, because there is always someone who is willing to talk, someone willing to go to a meeting, someone willing to talk recovery over a cup of coffee. You can have this new life and you can enjoy real freedom and happiness again, so long as you are willing to make a leap of faith and check into a 28 day program. Are you ready for a new life?
The post What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed? appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241843 http://ift.tt/2tPn2BJ
0 notes
Text
What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed?
If you are worried about sobering up only to become lonely or depressed in your recovery, let me reassure you about a few things.
First of all, I want you to know that this was my biggest fear when I was still stuck in alcoholism and drug addiction. I was honestly worried that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any fun any more in my life and I would be extremely depressed. What would be the point of life if I could not let loose and have fun with drugs or alcohol?
Second of all, I believed that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any friends in my life again, because all of my existing friends were really just drinking buddies and people that I got high with. The people in my life who I did not drink or use drugs around slowly drifted away from me because I wanted to get drunk or high every minute of every day if I possibly could. Therefore I surrounded myself with people who were trying to do the same thing.
So I used these two things as an excuse of sorts in order to keep myself stuck in denial, and stuck in my addiction.
Every once in a while I would go through a brief period of time in which I would suddenly stop drinking or using drugs–just for a day or two maybe. And during those two days or so I would start to experience withdrawal, and my body would feel sick and awful. And I can look back now and realize that what I was doing was that I was projecting that feeling of being sick with withdrawal on to the entire experience of sobriety. I was imagining that if I stayed clean and sober that I would feel sick forever.
I was doing the same thing when it came to loneliness. I assumed that if I became clean and sober that I would still be following the same social pattern as I had when I was drinking heavily, only I would no longer have the booze to comfort me. So I imagined that if I were to quit drinking that I would just be lonely and miserable all the time, so why not just drink and make myself “happy,” right?
These were the things that kept me stuck in denial, and I honestly believed that if I were to get clean and sober that my loneliness and my depression would only get worse. I was in denial so I could not see that my drinking and my drug use was so extreme that it was isolating me and creating the very loneliness that I was afraid of.
So let me tell you my experience when I finally surrendered to the fact that I could no longer drink or use drugs successfully. I was at the end of my rope and I was sick and tired of being so incredibly miserable all the time. I wanted everything and everyone to just go away. I was miserable and I was tired of it all.
What happened is that I finally reached a point in which I became willing to try something else. I had just the tiny bit of willingness left in my body and I was barely willing to try to “fix” my problem. Keep in mind that I had already been to treatment twice before and I felt like there was nothing that I could learn from those experiences. I had a lot of social anxiety and I did not like sitting in groups or speaking in meetings and this is partially why I drank alcohol in the first place–because it “fixed” this part of my personality, and it allowed me to open up and become less shy and actually have a conversation in a group of people or with a female. I was normally afraid of my own shadow and when I had a few drinks in me it completely fixed that particular problem.
And of course I reached a point in which finding that sweet spot–the point at which I had consumed just enough alcohol and other drugs to socially lubricate me perfectly without going overboard–became harder and harder to reach. I could certainly reach that point of confidence in my drinking, but I often would go roaring past it until I was completely out of control.
And I lived this way for a long time, and I struggled and struggled to find the sweet spot. I just wanted to be happy all the time, why was that so hard? Couldn’t I pour liquid pleasure down my throat every day after I put in a work day and become instantly happy? It used to work so perfectly for me, why was it failing me now?
The fact was that, in the beginning, it did work perfectly. That is why we become addicted–because our drug of choice actually does exactly what we want it to do, at least initially.
In the long run, our tolerance changes and we have to take more and more and unintended consequences start to pop up as our drug of choice becomes less and less effective for us.
I finally reached a point in which I had a revelation. I realized that, while glimpsing my own future, I was never going to be consistently happy if I continued to rely on alcohol and drugs to create that happiness. For the first time, I realized that it was no longer working so well, and that I would struggle through weeks of misery until I stumbled into a “good night” in which everything lined up perfectly and I became “happy” while drinking and taking drugs.
That was my big revelation. And I had no great assurance that if I sobered up and went to rehab that I would be happy one day, or that I would make new friends, or that my life would become better without drugs or alcohol in it.
But that is what happened. I went to rehab and I started to do what I was told to do. I assumed that I would be miserable for a while, and I sort of slogged my way through the first few weeks of recovery, and I went to rehab and did what the counselors told me to do.
That was the best thing I ever chose to do. In going to rehab I was able to turn my whole life around, I got a new peer group in AA and NA, and eventually I was grateful, happy, and free on a daily basis.
Of course I had to put forth quite an effort to make that happen. But I realize now that staying in addiction and hustling up drugs and alcohol every day required a lot of work too. So I could put this effort into my addiction and get a certain amount of happiness out of it, or I could put that same amount of effort into sobriety and I would get a certain amount of happiness out of it.
And if you force yourself to “endure” about, say, 2 or 3 months of recovery, you will realize that the amount of happiness that you get from sobriety is far greater than what you were getting out of your addiction. It is a slam dunk.
And you won’t be lonely again either, because recovery is mostly based on social programs such as AA and NA. You will meet people who genuinely want to help you in your recovery journey. And you never have to be alone again, because there is always someone who is willing to talk, someone willing to go to a meeting, someone willing to talk recovery over a cup of coffee. You can have this new life and you can enjoy real freedom and happiness again, so long as you are willing to make a leap of faith and check into a 28 day program. Are you ready for a new life?
The post What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed? appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from http://www.spiritualriver.com/alcoholism/what-if-i-sober-up-and-become-lonely-or-depressed/
0 notes
Text
What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed?
If you are worried about sobering up only to become lonely or depressed in your recovery, let me reassure you about a few things.
First of all, I want you to know that this was my biggest fear when I was still stuck in alcoholism and drug addiction. I was honestly worried that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any fun any more in my life and I would be extremely depressed. What would be the point of life if I could not let loose and have fun with drugs or alcohol?
Second of all, I believed that if I were to get clean and sober that I would never have any friends in my life again, because all of my existing friends were really just drinking buddies and people that I got high with. The people in my life who I did not drink or use drugs around slowly drifted away from me because I wanted to get drunk or high every minute of every day if I possibly could. Therefore I surrounded myself with people who were trying to do the same thing.
So I used these two things as an excuse of sorts in order to keep myself stuck in denial, and stuck in my addiction.
Every once in a while I would go through a brief period of time in which I would suddenly stop drinking or using drugs–just for a day or two maybe. And during those two days or so I would start to experience withdrawal, and my body would feel sick and awful. And I can look back now and realize that what I was doing was that I was projecting that feeling of being sick with withdrawal on to the entire experience of sobriety. I was imagining that if I stayed clean and sober that I would feel sick forever.
I was doing the same thing when it came to loneliness. I assumed that if I became clean and sober that I would still be following the same social pattern as I had when I was drinking heavily, only I would no longer have the booze to comfort me. So I imagined that if I were to quit drinking that I would just be lonely and miserable all the time, so why not just drink and make myself “happy,” right?
These were the things that kept me stuck in denial, and I honestly believed that if I were to get clean and sober that my loneliness and my depression would only get worse. I was in denial so I could not see that my drinking and my drug use was so extreme that it was isolating me and creating the very loneliness that I was afraid of.
So let me tell you my experience when I finally surrendered to the fact that I could no longer drink or use drugs successfully. I was at the end of my rope and I was sick and tired of being so incredibly miserable all the time. I wanted everything and everyone to just go away. I was miserable and I was tired of it all.
What happened is that I finally reached a point in which I became willing to try something else. I had just the tiny bit of willingness left in my body and I was barely willing to try to “fix” my problem. Keep in mind that I had already been to treatment twice before and I felt like there was nothing that I could learn from those experiences. I had a lot of social anxiety and I did not like sitting in groups or speaking in meetings and this is partially why I drank alcohol in the first place–because it “fixed” this part of my personality, and it allowed me to open up and become less shy and actually have a conversation in a group of people or with a female. I was normally afraid of my own shadow and when I had a few drinks in me it completely fixed that particular problem.
And of course I reached a point in which finding that sweet spot–the point at which I had consumed just enough alcohol and other drugs to socially lubricate me perfectly without going overboard–became harder and harder to reach. I could certainly reach that point of confidence in my drinking, but I often would go roaring past it until I was completely out of control.
And I lived this way for a long time, and I struggled and struggled to find the sweet spot. I just wanted to be happy all the time, why was that so hard? Couldn’t I pour liquid pleasure down my throat every day after I put in a work day and become instantly happy? It used to work so perfectly for me, why was it failing me now?
The fact was that, in the beginning, it did work perfectly. That is why we become addicted–because our drug of choice actually does exactly what we want it to do, at least initially.
In the long run, our tolerance changes and we have to take more and more and unintended consequences start to pop up as our drug of choice becomes less and less effective for us.
I finally reached a point in which I had a revelation. I realized that, while glimpsing my own future, I was never going to be consistently happy if I continued to rely on alcohol and drugs to create that happiness. For the first time, I realized that it was no longer working so well, and that I would struggle through weeks of misery until I stumbled into a “good night” in which everything lined up perfectly and I became “happy” while drinking and taking drugs.
That was my big revelation. And I had no great assurance that if I sobered up and went to rehab that I would be happy one day, or that I would make new friends, or that my life would become better without drugs or alcohol in it.
But that is what happened. I went to rehab and I started to do what I was told to do. I assumed that I would be miserable for a while, and I sort of slogged my way through the first few weeks of recovery, and I went to rehab and did what the counselors told me to do.
That was the best thing I ever chose to do. In going to rehab I was able to turn my whole life around, I got a new peer group in AA and NA, and eventually I was grateful, happy, and free on a daily basis.
Of course I had to put forth quite an effort to make that happen. But I realize now that staying in addiction and hustling up drugs and alcohol every day required a lot of work too. So I could put this effort into my addiction and get a certain amount of happiness out of it, or I could put that same amount of effort into sobriety and I would get a certain amount of happiness out of it.
And if you force yourself to “endure” about, say, 2 or 3 months of recovery, you will realize that the amount of happiness that you get from sobriety is far greater than what you were getting out of your addiction. It is a slam dunk.
And you won’t be lonely again either, because recovery is mostly based on social programs such as AA and NA. You will meet people who genuinely want to help you in your recovery journey. And you never have to be alone again, because there is always someone who is willing to talk, someone willing to go to a meeting, someone willing to talk recovery over a cup of coffee. You can have this new life and you can enjoy real freedom and happiness again, so long as you are willing to make a leap of faith and check into a 28 day program. Are you ready for a new life?
The post What if I Sober Up and Become Lonely or Depressed? appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241841 http://www.spiritualriver.com/alcoholism/what-if-i-sober-up-and-become-lonely-or-depressed/
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Text
Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery
How can we learn to be grateful in long term sobriety, and why is it really important?
Gratitude is important because it is the strongest mindset for relapse prevention in my experience. No one who is truly grateful in the moment is going to pick up a drink or a drug and self medicate with it. No one who is truly grateful is going to throw away everything that they have worked for in order to sabotage their recovery.
When an alcoholic or an addict relapses, they are essentially saying in their mind “I deserve this.” They have a term for this–they call it justification. So before the alcoholic can lift the drink up to their lips, before they can actually put their money on the counter and buy a bottle, they have to rationalize the decision in their mind. And this rationalization and justification has to happen based on a certain mindset or attitude that is happening at the time.
The mindset of relapse is one of selfishness. The addict is thinking only of their own happiness and their own selfish needs, saying to themselves “I deserve to self medicate. If other people were in my situation, they would self medicate too. This is justified. I should not feel bad for taking this drink.”
Gratitude can completely overcome this problem. Gratitude is a state of mind that says “I have everything that I need in the universe.” True gratitude makes you want to fall to your knees and kiss the ground and weep with joy.
Now, am I suggesting that you need to be in this extreme state of gratitude every second of every day?
Of course not. I do not believe that is realistic for anyone to aim for, and I think that expecting yourself to be brimming with joy and gratitude every second of every day is just going to set yourself up for failure.
On the other hand, if you have been in recovery for a few months or a few years and you have yet to really experience a single moment of joy, bliss, gratitude, or wanting to fall to your knees and weep with joy, then I think you could probably stand to “up your game” in this department.
Which is another way of saying that gratitude is something that we practice. It is something that we improve at over time as we work at it more and more.
One of the ways that we do this kind of practice, in my experience, is in doing the holistic work of recovery.
So this is not necessarily working specifically on gratitude per se, this would be an approach in which you work on all of the different areas of your life and your health in recovery so that you can improve yourself and live a healthier life overall.
When you get clean and sober you generally check into rehab and then you hammer on a recovery solution such as AA or NA for the first year or so. That’s fine. You need laser focus in order to succeed in early recovery, for the most part.
But as you transition into long term sobriety, you have to do different things in order to keep growing and becoming that better version of yourself. In other words, it is not enough for most people to just keep showing up to an AA chair forever, not do any real footwork, and expect to be able to maintain anything like real personal growth. The key is that you have to also be working the 12 steps, or pushing yourself towards personal growth, or doing some kind of footwork and personal development in order to succeed at recovery.
This personal growth happens in multiple areas of your life. So you don’t just quit drinking–you also start practicing spiritual principles. And you don’t just stop pouring poison into your system, but you start sleeping better, eating healthier, and so on.
Recovery is thus a holistic journey of repair. You are repairing all of the areas of your life that were damaged by addiction.
Our physical health was damaged. Our relationships were damaged. Our emotional health was compromised. Mentally we fell into all sorts of traps.
So in recovery, if you are trying to be grateful on a daily basis, you are probably going to struggle with that unless you are also doing this “repair work” in all of these various areas of your life.
Not that you have to have this perfect life in order to feel grateful–I am not saying that all. What I am saying is that if you want to keep having those “breakthrough moments of joy or bliss” then you need to be doing the footwork in order to make some of those moments happen from time to time. I was experiencing those moments in my own life because I was hustling in my recovery–going to meetings every day, seeing a therapist, taking advice from my sponsor, and generally doing the active work of learning how to live a sober life.
As I transitioned into long term sobriety, I continued to take advice from my therapist, my sponsor, and my trusted peers in recovery, and I began to use the holistic approach more and more: I quit cigarettes, I started exercising every day, I started reaching out to help the newcomer in recovery, and so on.
So what I am really saying is this: Because I had built this foundation of positive action, and because I was taking advice and actually hustling in my recovery and trying hard to work a real program, I had much better success when it came time to actually practice some gratitude in my life.
So when my sponsor suggested to me: Write down 20 things you are grateful for today, and then tear the list up and throw it away–I was able to do that without hesitation. Why? Because I was putting in the work. I was not just sitting idle on the couch and hoping that recovery would drop into my lap, but I was putting in the action to make it happen. So I had a lot to be grateful for because I had a lot of things going on, I was helping various people, and I was learning every day how to help myself more and more.
Why tear up the gratitude list that you write?
Because the practice of gratitude is actually the building of your gratitude muscle. If you quit doing it then it gets rusty and it becomes harder and harder to feel that emotion of bliss, joy, and gratitude to the universe.
But if you force yourself to conjure that emotion up every day then it gets more and more familiar.
So tearing up your list that you write is no big deal. Tear it up every time, and just write another list tomorrow.
You want to be able to get really good at making that gratitude list, because some day you will be staring at your drug of choice, and there will be no one there to stop you, and it is all going to come down to whether you are feeling selfish or grateful in that moment.
If you feel selfish then you relapse.
If you feel grateful then you live to fight another day. You conquer your addiction with an attitude of gratitude. Anything else leaves the door open for relapse.
Good luck!
The post Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from http://www.spiritualriver.com/holistic/learning-grateful-long-term-recovery/
0 notes
Text
Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery
How can we learn to be grateful in long term sobriety, and why is it really important?
Gratitude is important because it is the strongest mindset for relapse prevention in my experience. No one who is truly grateful in the moment is going to pick up a drink or a drug and self medicate with it. No one who is truly grateful is going to throw away everything that they have worked for in order to sabotage their recovery.
When an alcoholic or an addict relapses, they are essentially saying in their mind “I deserve this.” They have a term for this–they call it justification. So before the alcoholic can lift the drink up to their lips, before they can actually put their money on the counter and buy a bottle, they have to rationalize the decision in their mind. And this rationalization and justification has to happen based on a certain mindset or attitude that is happening at the time.
The mindset of relapse is one of selfishness. The addict is thinking only of their own happiness and their own selfish needs, saying to themselves “I deserve to self medicate. If other people were in my situation, they would self medicate too. This is justified. I should not feel bad for taking this drink.”
Gratitude can completely overcome this problem. Gratitude is a state of mind that says “I have everything that I need in the universe.” True gratitude makes you want to fall to your knees and kiss the ground and weep with joy.
Now, am I suggesting that you need to be in this extreme state of gratitude every second of every day?
Of course not. I do not believe that is realistic for anyone to aim for, and I think that expecting yourself to be brimming with joy and gratitude every second of every day is just going to set yourself up for failure.
On the other hand, if you have been in recovery for a few months or a few years and you have yet to really experience a single moment of joy, bliss, gratitude, or wanting to fall to your knees and weep with joy, then I think you could probably stand to “up your game” in this department.
Which is another way of saying that gratitude is something that we practice. It is something that we improve at over time as we work at it more and more.
One of the ways that we do this kind of practice, in my experience, is in doing the holistic work of recovery.
So this is not necessarily working specifically on gratitude per se, this would be an approach in which you work on all of the different areas of your life and your health in recovery so that you can improve yourself and live a healthier life overall.
When you get clean and sober you generally check into rehab and then you hammer on a recovery solution such as AA or NA for the first year or so. That’s fine. You need laser focus in order to succeed in early recovery, for the most part.
But as you transition into long term sobriety, you have to do different things in order to keep growing and becoming that better version of yourself. In other words, it is not enough for most people to just keep showing up to an AA chair forever, not do any real footwork, and expect to be able to maintain anything like real personal growth. The key is that you have to also be working the 12 steps, or pushing yourself towards personal growth, or doing some kind of footwork and personal development in order to succeed at recovery.
This personal growth happens in multiple areas of your life. So you don’t just quit drinking–you also start practicing spiritual principles. And you don’t just stop pouring poison into your system, but you start sleeping better, eating healthier, and so on.
Recovery is thus a holistic journey of repair. You are repairing all of the areas of your life that were damaged by addiction.
Our physical health was damaged. Our relationships were damaged. Our emotional health was compromised. Mentally we fell into all sorts of traps.
So in recovery, if you are trying to be grateful on a daily basis, you are probably going to struggle with that unless you are also doing this “repair work” in all of these various areas of your life.
Not that you have to have this perfect life in order to feel grateful–I am not saying that all. What I am saying is that if you want to keep having those “breakthrough moments of joy or bliss” then you need to be doing the footwork in order to make some of those moments happen from time to time. I was experiencing those moments in my own life because I was hustling in my recovery–going to meetings every day, seeing a therapist, taking advice from my sponsor, and generally doing the active work of learning how to live a sober life.
As I transitioned into long term sobriety, I continued to take advice from my therapist, my sponsor, and my trusted peers in recovery, and I began to use the holistic approach more and more: I quit cigarettes, I started exercising every day, I started reaching out to help the newcomer in recovery, and so on.
So what I am really saying is this: Because I had built this foundation of positive action, and because I was taking advice and actually hustling in my recovery and trying hard to work a real program, I had much better success when it came time to actually practice some gratitude in my life.
So when my sponsor suggested to me: Write down 20 things you are grateful for today, and then tear the list up and throw it away–I was able to do that without hesitation. Why? Because I was putting in the work. I was not just sitting idle on the couch and hoping that recovery would drop into my lap, but I was putting in the action to make it happen. So I had a lot to be grateful for because I had a lot of things going on, I was helping various people, and I was learning every day how to help myself more and more.
Why tear up the gratitude list that you write?
Because the practice of gratitude is actually the building of your gratitude muscle. If you quit doing it then it gets rusty and it becomes harder and harder to feel that emotion of bliss, joy, and gratitude to the universe.
But if you force yourself to conjure that emotion up every day then it gets more and more familiar.
So tearing up your list that you write is no big deal. Tear it up every time, and just write another list tomorrow.
You want to be able to get really good at making that gratitude list, because some day you will be staring at your drug of choice, and there will be no one there to stop you, and it is all going to come down to whether you are feeling selfish or grateful in that moment.
If you feel selfish then you relapse.
If you feel grateful then you live to fight another day. You conquer your addiction with an attitude of gratitude. Anything else leaves the door open for relapse.
Good luck!
The post Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
from RSSMix.com Mix ID 8241843 http://ift.tt/2reEJJJ
0 notes
Text
Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery
How can we learn to be grateful in long term sobriety, and why is it really important?
Gratitude is important because it is the strongest mindset for relapse prevention in my experience. No one who is truly grateful in the moment is going to pick up a drink or a drug and self medicate with it. No one who is truly grateful is going to throw away everything that they have worked for in order to sabotage their recovery.
When an alcoholic or an addict relapses, they are essentially saying in their mind “I deserve this.” They have a term for this–they call it justification. So before the alcoholic can lift the drink up to their lips, before they can actually put their money on the counter and buy a bottle, they have to rationalize the decision in their mind. And this rationalization and justification has to happen based on a certain mindset or attitude that is happening at the time.
The mindset of relapse is one of selfishness. The addict is thinking only of their own happiness and their own selfish needs, saying to themselves “I deserve to self medicate. If other people were in my situation, they would self medicate too. This is justified. I should not feel bad for taking this drink.”
Gratitude can completely overcome this problem. Gratitude is a state of mind that says “I have everything that I need in the universe.” True gratitude makes you want to fall to your knees and kiss the ground and weep with joy.
Now, am I suggesting that you need to be in this extreme state of gratitude every second of every day?
Of course not. I do not believe that is realistic for anyone to aim for, and I think that expecting yourself to be brimming with joy and gratitude every second of every day is just going to set yourself up for failure.
On the other hand, if you have been in recovery for a few months or a few years and you have yet to really experience a single moment of joy, bliss, gratitude, or wanting to fall to your knees and weep with joy, then I think you could probably stand to “up your game” in this department.
Which is another way of saying that gratitude is something that we practice. It is something that we improve at over time as we work at it more and more.
One of the ways that we do this kind of practice, in my experience, is in doing the holistic work of recovery.
So this is not necessarily working specifically on gratitude per se, this would be an approach in which you work on all of the different areas of your life and your health in recovery so that you can improve yourself and live a healthier life overall.
When you get clean and sober you generally check into rehab and then you hammer on a recovery solution such as AA or NA for the first year or so. That’s fine. You need laser focus in order to succeed in early recovery, for the most part.
But as you transition into long term sobriety, you have to do different things in order to keep growing and becoming that better version of yourself. In other words, it is not enough for most people to just keep showing up to an AA chair forever, not do any real footwork, and expect to be able to maintain anything like real personal growth. The key is that you have to also be working the 12 steps, or pushing yourself towards personal growth, or doing some kind of footwork and personal development in order to succeed at recovery.
This personal growth happens in multiple areas of your life. So you don’t just quit drinking–you also start practicing spiritual principles. And you don’t just stop pouring poison into your system, but you start sleeping better, eating healthier, and so on.
Recovery is thus a holistic journey of repair. You are repairing all of the areas of your life that were damaged by addiction.
Our physical health was damaged. Our relationships were damaged. Our emotional health was compromised. Mentally we fell into all sorts of traps.
So in recovery, if you are trying to be grateful on a daily basis, you are probably going to struggle with that unless you are also doing this “repair work” in all of these various areas of your life.
Not that you have to have this perfect life in order to feel grateful–I am not saying that all. What I am saying is that if you want to keep having those “breakthrough moments of joy or bliss” then you need to be doing the footwork in order to make some of those moments happen from time to time. I was experiencing those moments in my own life because I was hustling in my recovery–going to meetings every day, seeing a therapist, taking advice from my sponsor, and generally doing the active work of learning how to live a sober life.
As I transitioned into long term sobriety, I continued to take advice from my therapist, my sponsor, and my trusted peers in recovery, and I began to use the holistic approach more and more: I quit cigarettes, I started exercising every day, I started reaching out to help the newcomer in recovery, and so on.
So what I am really saying is this: Because I had built this foundation of positive action, and because I was taking advice and actually hustling in my recovery and trying hard to work a real program, I had much better success when it came time to actually practice some gratitude in my life.
So when my sponsor suggested to me: Write down 20 things you are grateful for today, and then tear the list up and throw it away–I was able to do that without hesitation. Why? Because I was putting in the work. I was not just sitting idle on the couch and hoping that recovery would drop into my lap, but I was putting in the action to make it happen. So I had a lot to be grateful for because I had a lot of things going on, I was helping various people, and I was learning every day how to help myself more and more.
Why tear up the gratitude list that you write?
Because the practice of gratitude is actually the building of your gratitude muscle. If you quit doing it then it gets rusty and it becomes harder and harder to feel that emotion of bliss, joy, and gratitude to the universe.
But if you force yourself to conjure that emotion up every day then it gets more and more familiar.
So tearing up your list that you write is no big deal. Tear it up every time, and just write another list tomorrow.
You want to be able to get really good at making that gratitude list, because some day you will be staring at your drug of choice, and there will be no one there to stop you, and it is all going to come down to whether you are feeling selfish or grateful in that moment.
If you feel selfish then you relapse.
If you feel grateful then you live to fight another day. You conquer your addiction with an attitude of gratitude. Anything else leaves the door open for relapse.
Good luck!
The post Learning to be Grateful in Long Term Recovery appeared first on Spiritual River Addiction Help.
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