#I have a feeling this AU is going to pop up again around Advent season

[punkpoemprose]

Accidental Marriage with a twist of enemies to lovers AU, Kristanna. Smooches! KP

This evolved into a law enforcement, accidental marriage, enemies to lovers AU and I will not apologize. I probably should, but I won’t. This has zero research behind it. I just watch a lot of Chicago Med, PD, and Fire.Thank you KP for facilitating this hot mess.

Universe: Law Enforcement AUWord Count: 1997Rating: T (Teen & Up Audiences, Anna wants to see Kristoff naked, but like, this is subtle, not tasteful, but subtle)

Anna grumbled as she looked down at her hand. It was of course bare, but she was reminded on the ring on her kitchen counter back home. She’d screwed herself phenomenally while drunk the week before. Married. She was married. And not just married, but she was married to Kristoff Bjorgman, the single most disagreeable yet excessively attractive firefighters she’d ever had the pleasure to work with.

“Morning schnookums,” he said with a grin as they walked onto the scene. The fire had long since gone out, but that was, of course why they were there. Arendelle was a small community, and there was no official fire investigator for the town, but somehow Anna as the detective with the least seniority on the police force, and Kristoff as the firefighter who had volunteered for the job, ended up a team. She swore, this being the second time they’d had to meet together in the week for work, that he was lighting fires himself.

“Mr. Bjorgman,” she answered in response, not giving him the satisfaction he desired, but also failing to call him by his title of Lieutenant in hopes of him taking the hint that she was, absolutely, not in the mood.

“Mrs. Bjorman.”

Anna huffed, “Could you please, for once, not.”

He sighed and shrugged, “Sorry, just trying to make light.”

“We’re at a crime scene,” she said with a groan. He was almost a living embodiment of why there was a rivalry between firefighters and police. Police always had to be the serious ones, firefighters however, could be total goofballs.

“Well since you won’t see me outside of work…” he paused, thought better of it, and then sighed, “so what are we looking at canary?”

“I end up in a burning building, dying of smoke inhalation once in my life, and you call me canary every day after.”

“Well you don’t like it when I call you feisty pants, or schnookums, apparently. Want me to try a different nickname until one sticks, or?”

Anna shook her head, deciding that getting to work was the best thing they could possibly contend with, that was, at least, until the end of the month when they’d finally get their annulment sorted out. She swore she was going to throttle her Captain if he ever suggested “Vegas R&R” for the force and the department ever again. She counted her blessings that as far as she was aware, no one knew about their impromptu marriage but the pair of them, an Elvis impersonator, and the state of Nevada.

She started walking towards the wreckage of what was once an Italian restaurant.

“Come on hose hauler, we’ve got work to do.”

“Careful,” he said, following her with what she imagined to be an overconfident grin on his face, not that she knew, she wasn’t turning around to look “If you keep calling me by a nickname too, I’ll start thinking you like me.”

***

She was screwed. So, so screwed.

“Kristoff,” she said shaking him, “Kristoff you have to get up, come on!”

But it was clear that he was not getting up. He was breathing, and had a pulse, so that at least wasn’t one of the things panicking her most at the moment. He wasn’t dead, at least not yet, but if she couldn’t get him moving, they both very well might be.

He hadn’t been setting fires after all. They’d ended up following the trail of a serial arsonist for the last week, and now when they finally thought they had the guy cornered, he’d taken them by surprise. She’d found Kristoff just as the blaze started. Her best guess was the guy had blitzed him, and knocked him unconscious.  It was the only way she could imagine anyone knocking Kristoff out, particularly because he was built like a brick shithouse.

She wasn’t an expert in fires, that was his shtick, she was just police support, but she knew that the fire must have been fed with some kind of accelerant, because it was hot, spreading faster than she could have ever thought possible, and it was choking. She knew what she had to do, but wasn’t sure if she could manage it.

“Come on big guy, please get up. If you have to get hauled out of here by a canary you’re never going to hear the end of it. I’ll make sure of it. I’ll make sure every firehouse in the state knows.”

He wasn’t waking, and Anna was left with the realization that she really was going to have to haul him out. She’d passed the physical examination to join the force. Not necessarily with flying colors, but it had more to do with her clumsiness than anything else, but even that examination had only required her to move 165lbs of dead weight and Kristoff was a dense man.

“Look you’re supposed to be the one carrying me,” she said as she did her best to pull him off the floor and onto her shoulder. She wasn’t going to be able to carry him out in the way he would have been able to carry her, but she could at least get him somewhat upright and drag him along.

“I expect an over the threshold carry as recompense, okay?”

She couldn’t believe that she was joking with an unconscious man as a building was burning down around her. The damn hose hauler had gotten to her.

“I can’t believe I’m married to you, you massive…”

“Anna!”

She thanked God when, after dragging him just a few feet, she saw running towards her, in full fire gear, Kristoff’s Captain. At least he’d called for backup before getting clubbed. She thought, as she made it out of the building with him, that she might just take back her “goofball” descriptor of his character. Maybe “well-meaning comic” was a better title.

She did know one thing for absolute certain as she unloaded him from her shoulder into the awaiting arms of a paramedic. For the past few weeks since their accidental marriage she’d been thinking about him… differently, to say the least, and when she’d been imagining his body on hers, this was absolutely not how she’d fantasized about it going down.

***

“Hey feisty pants.”

She didn’t rebuke him for the nickname. He sounded groggy as hell, and for what they’d just been through she imagined he earned the right to give her a nickname or three.

“Hey canary,” she said with a chuckle that only barely hid how choked up she was. She’d been doing a lot of thinking the last few hours since she’d been cleared and they’d told her she could wait for him to wake up.

“Oh no,” he said, taking stock of his surroundings slowly, and in a almost comical manner that made her smile. “Smoke inhalation? The whole house will laugh me out.”

She grinned, “Nah, I’m just teasing. You were knocked out, your house credit is in tact. Though I’ve heard the firehouse dog is holding your absence against you, so you might need to do some work there.”

He chuckled, “Not the house dog, my dog. His name is Sven, he’s just the house dog when I’m on shift. And when I’m in the hospital apparently.”

She smiled, “I didn’t know you had a dog Bjorgman.”

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me Bjorgman,” he said, despite being laid up, he clearly could not stop picking on her. She was grateful. If he did anything else she’d be worried he’d been hit too hard.

“You’re right, but that’s probably not a great thing to admit when you’re married.”

He frowned, “About that, look… Anna.”

“Anna?” she asked, “I didn’t think you knew my name for all the creative names you’ve come up with for me.”

He chuckled, slipped her a wry grin and then readjusted himself on the hospital bed slightly, “Well I had to know it when I asked the department to assign you with me.”

“You did what?” she asked, not entirely certain as to whether he was screwing with her or not.

“What can I say?” he asked barely hiding another grin, “I like red heads… ow!”

She almost felt bad for smacking his chest, but the doctors had already assured her that other than what they assumed would be a mild concussion and a headache, he would be alright, and he deserved to be swatted for that comment. And it wasn’t really a smack as much as it was a “love tap”. She flushed at the thought.

“Not really… I mean, well yeah, I do, but your file photo was in black and white so I swear I didn’t pick you for your hair. I did pick you though, you were green, but everyone said you had great observational skills and I needed that. No one told you that you were picked?”

“Frankly I thought it was hazing.”

He gave her a look as if he were wounded, but the seriousness didn’t last long enough for her to even think about it much.

“Fair. But, Anna…”

“Yeah Kristoff?” she said, softening, even giving him a soft smile. He’d started to grow on her, at least a little bit, and she knew he wanted to say something serious for once, so she’d give him the chance.

He grinned broadly when she said his name, but then gave her a more serious and meaningful look. “I know the whole drunken Vegas wedding wasn’t something you wanted, and honestly I didn’t want that either. At all. But you know what they say about drunk actions are sober thoughts? Well, uh…”

He raked his hand through his hair nervously and Anna smiled, even when he grimaced, clearly having touched one of the tender spots, either where he’d been struck, or where he’d hit it when he’d fallen.

“I was going to ask you out before all that. I know that I’m a little bit of a goof sometimes, but it’s because I like it when you smile, and if you’d let me I’d like to maybe do more of that.”

“You don’t need to agree just because we’re already technically married,” he added, “especially because I already signed the paperwork for the annulment, we should be good there, so you can say no and I won’t ask again.”

Anna grinned, “Well we have been in a few Italian restaurants in the past few weeks, what’s another one?”

He shook his head and chuckled, “I actually think that one you dragged me out of was the last one in town, so we’re either going to have to go for a drive or pick another cuisine… by the way did the catch the guy? Did he confess? What’s his beef with Italian food?”

Anna laughed, and his eyes lit up. It felt good to watch.

“Yes, and I haven’t heard. I’ll bring you a copy of the interrogation records, but not on our date.”

He smiled, “Look I’m just glad you agreed, you can bring whatever you want. I’ll be honest I was weighing using the ‘we almost died’ line.”

“Smooth,” she said with a chuckle, “How about you and Sven come to my place for some arson-free Italian? I’m not much of a chef but I make a decent lasagna.”

“Inviting me on a date at your house Anna? Very forward of you. Isn’t that a third date thing?”

Anna rolled her eyes and laughed before leaning in and pressing a kiss to his cheek, “We’re married.”

“Oh I’ll take advantage of that excuse until next Friday…”

Anna grinned, she knew he was looking at her lips.

“I want you to…” she responded, knowing what he was thinking by the look in his eyes.

He smiled softly and tipped his head up to press a cautious kiss to her lips that said he’d found one fire he was ready to investigate with her without bothering to put it out.

#law enforcement au #Kristanna #Thanks for the prompt KP #Look what you made me do #Lol #I love itttt #I have a feeling this AU is going to pop up again around Advent season

[blaindersonkummel]

Klaine Fic - Think of all the Fellas That I Haven’t Kissed (Part 2)

Chapter 2 title: Sign Your ‘X’ On The Line Written for Days 18 + 19 of Klaine Advent 2017 Prompts: “Stir” and “Talk”

Summary: Dragqueen!Blaine AU. Follows on from the end of chapter 1. Kurt takes Blaine on a sort-of date to the diner next door to the drag bar.

Word Count: 2600 (this chapter) - Read on AO3.

Kurt couldn’t quite believe the way his night was going. Earlier that day he was fully expecting to come to a drag show for a couple of hours, support Elliott’s friend, enjoy a few drinks, and head home after a fun, but not overly ambitious, night out.

What he wasn’t expecting was to be sat across from one of the very queens he had been watching perform earlier that night. On a date, nonetheless.

~

Kurt stood at the back door of the club, waiting for Blaine to collect her bags from backstage (“Should I be referring to Blaine as ‘her’ when he’s not in drag?”), ready to go on a late night sort-of date. The thought was already beginning to mess with his brain.

He fidgeted where he stood as he thought about how this… thing with Blaine might go ahead. Kurt suddenly found himself in a strange headspace, mulling over the fact that not only did he find Blaine absolutely gorgeous, charming and so so sweet, he also saw that in Honey Bee. A person who, for all intents and purposes, presented as a woman.

But Kurt was gay. Like, really truly gay. He had never been attracted to women before and he was certain he wasn’t now. But Blaine – well, Honey Bee – was making him question all that.

Sexuality crisis notwithstanding, Blaine came bounding out of the door to where Kurt was waiting, coat and scarf on and wheeling two suitcases of clothes, make-up, and wigs along with a big grin on his face.

“I’m sorry I kept you. So, you still up for splitting those fries?”

Kurt was suddenly torn away from his moment of panic when he looked over at Blaine.

Beautiful, adorable, bubbly Blaine with the most warm eyes and kind smile he’d ever seen. How did an eighteen year old manage to exude both such confidence and innocence at the same time?

“Sounds great,” he responded tightly, holding out one hand to offer to wheel Blaine’s bag, and taking hold of Blaine’s free hand with the other.

~

“…some more ketchup, please? Thank you so much.”

Kurt was yet again pulled out of his daze and back to the present when he realised he had been blanking on Blaine almost since they sat down and ordered. The waitress taking Blaine’s request for more sauce jotted something on her notepad with a bored expression and walked away with a grunt.

Blaine looked down at the bowl of fries on their table then looked up through his lashes at Kurt as he reached forward and took a few in one hand. He then took an individual fry and dipped it into his chocolate milkshake before popping it into his mouth with a satisfied expression at finally being able to eat that night. The move reminded Kurt of the same thing Blaine had done earlier with the cherry from his drink.

“Is there…” Blaine began, an unreadably curious expression on his face. But instead of carrying on his sentence, he seemed to cut himself off and instead moved to dunk another fry to eat. He tried again.

“Is something wrong, Kurt? You’ve been stirring that milkshake for about ten minutes now. In fact, you’ve been acting kind of odd since I left to get my stuff earlier and…” he looked sort of upset now. “I’m sorry if I’ve done something to suddenly put you off, or if I’ve been too forward, or not forward enough, or if I’m too young, or if I’m not really your type or-“

“Woah, hey,” Kurt suddenly jumped to action, unwilling to sit and watch Blaine pass out from not taking a breath. “Hey, it’s fine. It’s okay.”

He laughed a little and stopped stirring, but instantly felt guilty at Blaine’s worried expression.

“It’s, well,” Kurt didn’t really know where to begin with this one, “I’m finding myself in a bit of a crisis at the minute and whilst I do want to tell you “it’s not you, it’s me”, I’m afraid I’d be totally lying.”

Blaine looked taken aback by that and instantly it looked as though tears were springing to his bright amber eyes as he tried to look away.

“Oh. Oh, right, yeah, okay I get it.”

Blaine was trying so hard to hold it together, but Kurt was quick to reassure him.

“Oh, no! No! That came out completely wrong. I should have finished.”

He wrung his hands together and thought to himself. “Ugh okay how do I word this?”

“See, I’m having a bit of a crisis because I… I really like you.”

The tears in Blaine’s shining eyes seemed to subside a little at this and he looked up at Kurt with curiosity.

“It’s kind of freaking me out a bit that I like you so much. For a number of reasons. And I’ll be honest – part of that is me dealing with the fact that you are insanely attractive… as both Blaine… and as Honey.”

Blaine’s face seemed to go pink at that and his eyes widened.

“Oh god,” Kurt instantly felt bad, “Was that offensive for me to say? Ugh, I’m really sorry. I don’t really know how to go about this thing with pronouns and genders and everything.”

Blaine was still pink in the face but he was now smiling widely and his eyes were scrunching at the corners as he made a small giggle.

“It wasn’t offensive, Kurt. I just… do you really think that?”

Kurt was caught offguard.

“Think what?”

“That you find me attractive as… as both me and Honey?”

Kurt knew the answer immediately. Hell yes. He really did.

“Yeah. I do.”

Blaine blushed again and brought his hands up to his face to hide his smile. Kurt was instantly struck by how much he suddenly looked like a child.

“I mean, I’ve heard guys find it an appealing quality but I never-”

“Wait,” Kurt cut him off, instantly curious. “You mean I’m not completely left of field here for freaking out about this?”

Blaine looked sort of taken aback at that.

“Errrr no. Of course you’re not. Drag is a very…” he paused here to find his words, “subversive kind of art form. It’s meant to make people question themselves. I mean, I’ve seen the effect first-hand. I’m fairly new to Cooties but even in the month or so I’ve been there, I have seen it all. Gay men, straight men, bisexual, non-binary, heck even straight and lesbian women, find something attractive about the queens I share a stage with.”

“Huh.”

Kurt was kind of stumped at that. All the anxiety he’d been building inside himself seemed to dissipate rather quickly after Blaine had reassured him that no, he wasn’t weird for finding an instant connection with Honey Bee on the stage and Blaine Anderson off the stage. He started to stir his milkshake yet again.

“I guess, for another thing, it’s not just the gender thing I’ve been thinking about. You’re so young. And I know I’m only 22, but you haven’t even been in the city very long and you already seem so confident. I mean, you’re a performing drag queen! And a damn excellent one! I can’t believe you were doing this in Ohio!”

Kurt took a sip from the milkshake but he didn’t miss the way Blaine bit his lip for a second, looking away the next.

“Ummmm. Well…”

Kurt’s expression shifted.

“You weren’t performing before you came here, were you?”

Blaine looked back now and shrugged with a pained look.

“Elliott told me you’re also from Ohio so I know you’ll understand when I say this. I never performed there. In fact, no-one besides my best friend Tina even knew about the drag thing.”

Kurt was kind of stunned.

“But Blaine, you’re so good! You blew half of those seasoned queens off the stage tonight!”

Blaine laughed a little and sipped on his own milkshake to give him something to do.

“Thank you,” he said once he swallowed, “but I’m just getting started really.”

Kurt looked Blaine over thoughtfully now, sure he was missing something about this mysterious young boy.

“So then how did you start?”

It was a simple enough question but one Blaine froze up at.

“It’s… I don’t know if I should tell you. If the gender thing kind of freaked you out before.”

Blaine was biting his lip again and goddammit, if that wasn’t becoming ingrained in Kurt’s brain as one of the cutest things ever…

“Oh. Well, please don’t feel like you have to tell me anything you’re uncomfortable with. I just want you to know despite how I felt moments ago, I am in no way going to judge you.”

Blaine continued to worry his lip before he took in a breath and straightened himself up in his seat.

“Okay. So, errr, I already knew I was gay from a fairly young age. I came out to my parents when I was fourteen and things were… well, my mom was fine. My dad was, well, not such an easy ride. But they accepted me, at least.”

Kurt was listening with bated breath as Blaine continued, and when it looked like he got kind of stilted at the mention of his father, Kurt didn’t hesitate to slide his hand across the table and wrap it around Blaine’s.

“When I was sixteen I started watching RuPaul’s Drag Race,” he laughed to himself here, “It’s very cliché, I know. But it happened.”

Kurt laughed lightly too but allowed him to continue.

“I thought about it for a while – maybe trying drag. But I started to question myself. At this point, I wasn’t sure what part of drag appealed to me. I became kind of obsessed with…”

Blaine trailed off here and sucked in a breath like he was preparing himself for Kurt’s reaction.

“I became obsessed with the idea of women’s clothing. And one day, when my mom and dad were out, I snuck into my mom’s wardrobe and pulled out the most gorgeous dress she owned, and a pair of heels. I sat on my bed for about thirty minutes before I plucked up the courage to just put on one shoe.

But when I did… I could feel that thing I knew I’d been wanting to feel for a while. So I somehow also managed to get into her dress and the second I had it on, I felt like a different person. You might think that’s kind of the end of it but… well, there’s more.”

Blaine pulled his hand from Kurt’s now and started to bite at one of his nails as he looked down.

“I began to wonder if that feeling was something else. If, maybe, I was suddenly feeling like that was the real me. So, that night, I got online and suddenly I found myself ordering a whole load of stuff which included women’s clothes and…” Blaine trailed off slightly as Kurt leant forward to hear him. “And underwear.”

Kurt was taken aback, not for the first time that night, but he managed to school his expression into something fairly neutral when, in actual fact, something was stirring in him at those words.

“The thing is, when they came, I was nervous. I wondered if putting these clothes on would suddenly spark this thing in me telling me that I was no longer Blaine – but someone else. However, in fact, it actually gets kind of boring here. Long story short, I went all out the next day and… well, I kind of went to school wearing the underwear.”

Kurt’s face must have given a lot away because, if he had been taking a sip of water at this point, the liquid would have probably been sprayed all over Blaine. Blaine laughed at his expression.

“Okay, I admit, so maybe boring isn’t the right word. I just mean, I found out that day that perhaps my gender wasn’t really being called in to question after all. I just happened to be a gay man who felt really sexy and empowered in women’s clothes.”

Blaine stopped here and lifted his milkshake to take a sip like he hadn’t just told Kurt he wears women’s underwear to feel sexy. And Kurt was supposed to act like that wasn’t one of the hottest things he’d ever heard.

“Woah,” he began, still unsure how to continue.

“It’s okay,” Blaine replied, “I understand it’s a lot to take in.”

Kurt pondered it for a second before he couldn’t hold in the questions any more and he had to ask.

“So if you weren’t performing before, how did you get into becoming a queen? Being in drag is about way more than just the clothes surely?”

Blaine’s smile titled up at that and he looked really quite impressed by how Kurt was reacting.

“You’re right, and it’s a good question. The day I realised I just wanted to wear the clothes, I got online right away and watched hours and hours of YouTube videos of drag performances, make-up tutorials, and hell even the documentaries about drag culture.”

“But you didn’t tell anyone?”

“At first. But when I realised how hard it would be to get more clothes and to even buy and hide make-up, I told Tina. She was amazing. She seriously helped me through a very… errr… confusing time. Plus she did my make-up the first time. I still like to think of her as my drag mother, even if she did an absolutely terrible job.”

Blaine laughed so sweetly again and continued eating his weird milkshake-covered fries. Kurt felt kind of sad for Blaine at first, having to keep this thing hidden that he was so breathtakingly brilliant at. But it led him to here and now – an excellent performer in a great drag bar, doing what he loves.

“So, there’s one more thing I’m wondering about. But, y’know, like I said, don’t feel like you have to answer or anything,” Kurt said as Blaine waited for him to continue. “What have your boyfriends thought about all this?”

Kurt pictured many responses from Blaine to this question. He expected maybe he would get defensive and not answer, or he would walk away, or he would calmly explain. What he didn’t expect was for Blaine to laugh out loud and then cover his mouth and look all shy and unassuming.

But still, he waited for an answer which Blaine didn’t give for a good couple of seconds.

“Oh! You’re… you’re not joking?” Blaine asked, eyes wide.

“Errr, no. I’m not,” Kurt suddenly felt uncomfortable again like he really had said something wrong.

“Well,” Blaine began, suddenly shy again, “the thing is… I’ve never… had one.”

“Oh,” Kurt really didn’t know how to carry on after that so he too picked up his milkshake and took a slurp to allow him the time to process.

“But, y’know,” Blaine continued, waiting for Kurt to put his glass down before he slid his hand across the table, palm up, “I’m certainly open to the idea.”

Kurt looked down at the hand and then back at Blaine’s face as, yet again, he did that absolutely adorable lip bite that Kurt was quickly falling in love with. Kurt was definitely becoming totally powerless to that face.

He slid his hand across the table to meet Blaine’s and he smiled.

“So am I.”

#klaine advent 2017 #klaine advent: talk #klaine advent: stir #drag queen!blaine #klaine fic #klaine #my fic