#I hadn't drawn much last year since i was busy with my thesis and feeling art burnout

[symonde]

Dark sun (part 1- Beckett x mc): 5 years lost

Pairing: Beckett x mc

Book: the Elementalists

Word Count : +/- 2900

Summary: It has been 5 years since Beckett Harrington was forced by his father to leave Penderghast and Joane Raven behind. Now he can return to the place and the people he has missed all these years to finish his PhD.

Author note: this is my first attempt at writing fanfiction and at writing in English since i am not a native speaker. I appreciate every comment and every correction since it will help me improve my writing. I hope you will enjoy my first attempt at a series for the choices book the Elementalists. The characters and the world belongs to Pixelberry Studios.

It had been five years... Beckett hadn't been able to write on his thesis for a whole month since he knew that he would be able to return to Penderghast College of Elemental Magicks for the remaining years to complete his second PhD in "genetic and epigenetic studies of magical predispositions and attunements". He was exited and afraid at the same time...

5 years ago he had graduated in Penderghast, majoring in "evolution of magickal abilities and attunements” and "biochemical reactions to magical influences". It had been 5 years since he walked the wide stone halls of the school he once used to call "home". Even if Penderghast had not been his official home, since his parents lived in a mansion in Galdurin, it had been the first place he felt like he belonged... before his father decided that his only son had to finish his studies in the society of Mr. Shayd - one of his fathers business partners who was also teaching in the elite university of Kawath – in Japan.

During the last 5 years he had missed his favorite tree in the school gardens where he used to study on warm summer days when the air in the library became to dense to breathe properly and not even a humidity-cleansing spell would help. He had missed the herboratory where professor Kontos used to teach him some more advanced Satyr knowledge of the natural influences of magical attunements on Beckett’s request. Most of all however he had missed his friends... - hell who was he kidding - most of all he had missed, and was still missing Joane. In these 5 years there had not been a single day where he had not missed her laugh, the way her red hair seemed to draw his gaze whenever she was near, or how easily he had been able to make her blush... She had shown him how to appreciate lazy sunday mornings and the value of friendship. She had filled his life with warmth and love – a feeling he had not known before in his life nor after...

Since he had been forced to leave her, he would often walk aimlessly in the sun to feel nearer to her. Being a Sun-Att he hoped against all reasoning and knowledge, that she would be able to sense him thinking of her. Leaving her behind without further notice had left him emotionally in a very dark and cold place for multiple month before he was able to summon back the emotional detachment that his father had taught him from a very young age. He knew his education and life had cost his father a fortune since he had been attending the worlds best programs held by the highest decorated professors. His name had opened him the doors to every field of study he wanted and everyone treated him with respect... and professional distance. He had lead a lonely life.

He had often asked himself in these years if he had simply been too happy and therefore had not been able to meet his fathers stiff standards. He had loved her too much... and yet had never been able to tell her these few precious words or how much she really meant to him. It was his greatest regret that she would probably never know just how much she had meant to him. So he did the only thing he knew would keep him from despairing. He buried himself, his thoughts and his aching heart in his studies.

He learned all he could about the fine notions of nature attunements and the human genetics in relation to them. He simulated and tested slight variations in RNA code and had succeeded in identifying the genetic predispositions for magick in humans. This had earned him worldwide recognition in magickal science. Even his father had send him a note “Continue the good work – this is what I am expecting of you – Andrew Harrington the Second ”. Beckett didn’t even care that there was no love in his message. His only hope had been to hear from her – since she would perhaps have heard his name in the news... but it had already been more than 4 years...

The first 3 years of his research, he was forbidden any contact with other magickal institutions or people outside Kawath for confidential reasons. Every correspondence had to go through Mr. Shayd himself before it was delivered. Of course he had written to her, explaining himself and his fathers decisions, but he had never gotten a reply. He wasn’t even allowed to contact people via smartphone outside of the organization, since he was working on the highly classified project of identifying the genetic factors for blood Attunements. He was tempted to do so despite the consequences so many times, he even had a hundredth messages typed out, but decided against sending them every time for it would cost him his sponsorship and his father would make sure he never saw Joane again.

4 years into his research, the note he got from his father had been the last time he heard from him. Three month later his father died unexpectedly of heart failure. How this was even possible would always be a mystery to Beckett since he was fairly sure that his father had no heart. He finished and published his works for Mr. Shayd only two month after his fathers death – not caring if he was respecting the proper etiquette of mourning. He even suspected his father would have approved the efficient continuing of his work.

The real reason for finishing his work in Japan however was, that he was now free to choose – without his fathers influence – at which university to write the wrap-up thesis of his research of the last years. It had only taken him a day to request the transfer papers to Penderghast. A week later Dean Goeffe had already approved his request – proud to welcome such a famous magickal researcher back to his roots. What a farce... he couldn’t care less about her reasons, only that he could go back.

It had taken Beckett exactly 5 hours to pack all his belongings and now, a few days later, he was standing in front of the massive metal gates of Penderghast - that would soon welcome the students for their first classes of the day. It was 6 o’clock in the morning. He hadn’t been able to sleep – his stomach was clenching nervously and his heart seemed to remember after all these years how to ache for something long lost.

He hadn’t heard from her or any of his friends for 5 years. Hadn’t allowed himself to magically research her name in the magical information network “Jinx” – too afraid to face his emotions. Now, standing in front of these gates however he remembered... the smell of her – like fresh lemons and mint,... the warmth that melted all his insides when she smiled at him before throwing herself in his arms at the end of a long day in class,... the feeling of her soft lips pressing small feathery kisses on his chest when she wanted to wake him up delicately on a Sunday morning... and what those kisses often lead to afterwards...

Beckett felt his stomach drop. Why had he come back? This was nothing but pure self inflicted torture. He couldn’t even blame his father if this would cost him his PhD – because he was fairly sure he wouldn’t be able to get his brain to work for the next weeks or months if every step he took inside of Penderghast would be filled with memories of her...

Breathing deeply in and out for a few moments he steadied himself and finally pushed the gate open to find his way to Dean Goeffe. She welcomed him briskly and he felt like he had gone back in time facing the stiff women. She handed him his teaching curriculum and the access codes to the laboratories beneath the school building that would allow him to finish his research. As a PhD student at Penderghast he had to teach at least one class for 6 hours a week. Since the teaching staff was always lacking in the more scientific subjects, Dean Goeffe assigned him to teach the graduating classes in evolution of magickal abilities and attunements which pleased him immensely and he found himself looking forward to it.

After this bit of good news however, Beckett found it hard to focus on the Deans further explanations of the school premises – his thoughts drifting back to the first time he had been to the Deans office with Joane. They had known each other only for a few days and he had been a total jerk to her. Being one of few rare Sun-Attuned and thus born with very powerful magick, he thought her a threat to his position as the best student in Penderghast. Meeting her however had resulted in an emotional storm of unfamiliar feelings for him since he found himself drawn to her sharp wit, her natural ease with people and her sunny temperament. She had him disarmed with her smile before he knew what had happened. The detention they had to fulfil following their misbehaviour in class lead to his first real friendship. During the following months, they challenged each other on every occasion. He had a deep understanding of magical techniques and a lot of discipline, whereas she had the advantage of a quick learning mind and vast amounts of raw magickal power. It always felt like they were balancing each others flaws out – magically and socially. He loved talking about his knowledge of the magickal world and his theories, and she would challenge him in this knowledge – learning more about herself and the magickal world in their mutual discussions then during class, where she preferred socialising with her friends rather than paying attention.

A few month and some disturbing events later, they had become more then friends. Even now Beckett found it hard to believe that someone like her had chosen him instead of someone like Griffin Langley – the Penderghast Thief Captain every college girl seemed to admire and fall for.

It wasn't that he thought badly of himseld, he knew that his looks had not been that bad. A lot of girls had complemented him on it since he had practiced Yoga for years and had started swimming in his second year at Penderghast which had resulted in broader shoulders and a more masculine chest. However he had never understood her decision fully but did his best to make her happy.

He had never been able to converse with people at ease about his feelings, his family or his hobbies (he didn’t have any...). This left him always as some sort of outsider – only when he was with her he felt free. Whether she realized it or not, she had always captivated everyone from the moment she entered a room.

His looks hadn’t changed that much the last five years. Beckett now preferred to leave a slight stubble and his cheekbones had sharpened – which resulted in a surprisingly positive reaction from women. He had entertained a few liaisons with random attractive women – always looking for a piece of her in them. None had lasted more that a few weeks. They weren’t her... what would she look like now?

“Mr. Harrington?...” he heard Dean Goeffes voice cut through his thoughts.

Jeeez Beckett get your stuff together – at least until you are alone... He wasn’t the shy teen that had been horrified by the Dean on his first year at school – he had to behave like the adult credited researcher he was... “I apologize Mrs. Goeffe. I am rather tired from the long flight. I believe it would be best if you could show me to my quarters so that I can take a short nap before meeting my colleagues in the afternoon.”

She eyed him suspiciously as if she knew exactly that he hadn’t been paying attention to any of the other research fields in Penderghast she explained to him during the last hour. However she didn’t want to risk offending him, so she continued “Of course! I will show you to your rooms and office. We will be meeting your co- professors after lunch in the library for your welcome. Please follow me.”

She lead him through some familiar and even some unfamiliar corridors leading to the teachers quarters. A few minutes later he found himself blissfully alone. He installed himself on his bed and pulled a few private belongings from his luggage and changed in his now usual black shirt and jeans. He checked his mailbox and read a few business notes but he couldn’t bring himself to focus appropriately since his thoughts kept going back to Joane.

What was she doing now? They had discussed their future plans on a few occasions. She always wanted to gain a deeper knowledge of the complex relations between Sun and Moon Attunements. They had thought they would both have a lot of time left together at Penderghast as PhD students. Had she taken the sponsored PhD offered to her by the Dean a few days before he left? If so was she still working here? Was she now able to use her full power? Would she hate him?...

As his thoughts threatened to go down that dark road again, he couldn’t bring himself to stay in his room. He decided to get some fresh air and check out the gardens and his study tree. Even before he met Joane, that had been one of the spots on campus where he had always felt at peace. Later the both of them would often meet there to discuss magickal theories and Joane would practice her sun-spells. He would thoroughly write down his observations on her spellwork and check them against scientific theories before sharing and debating them with her. She would often despair at his endless questions about the technique she used and the inner workings of her magick she couldn’t properly describe. She used to say she would just draw the magick from inside her heart. Whereas the magick of the secondary attunements would be drawn out of her belly.

Beckett had never been able to understand her reasoning. All the books taught that magick was innate and used a body’s energy but none specified different regions inside a body to draw magickal power from. He had tried her theory himself on numerous occasions but he wasn’t able to produce any magick like that. However, since he was no Sun-Att he didn’t know if her theory could be scientifically founded or if she was simply unable to put her inner workings into words.

Beckett found himself nearly alone in the gardens, since it was already late September and it was quite cold outside. Slowly he gained a little bit of peace. At 10h15 the classes had already begun and only a few students who had decided that classes weren’t all that important crossed his path. He didn’t care, but hoped he would be able to share with his future students the importance and the fascination of his field of study so that they wouldn’t want to skip his classes.

When he neared the tree he was aiming for, he saw a small figure sitting there from afar, reading a book. His heart started beating faster but as he approached her, he saw that the womens hair was long and a dark shade of auburn, not the natural fiery red of Joane’s hair she used to wear in a short bob. She was also wrapped in a warm winter coat. Joane had constantly and unconsciously emitted a warm glow from inside of her, which resulted in her never needing a jacket outside even in the crisp autumn months – like the sun was warming her from within. Even knowing it couldn’t be her, Beckett felt unsteady getting nearer.

It unsettled him that another person would use their spot now, and he walked over briskly. He thought of something to tell this women that would ensure her leaving and not using this spot again. He knew it was ridiculous since this was public space but it was like a last reminder of what he had shared with Joane and he wasn’t able to let this be taken from him yet.

“Excuse me Miss... would you mind leav...” his words died in his throat when she turned up her head to look at him. She was Joane, but at the same time she wasn’t. Her eyes that once sparkled with golden freckles had turned to a chestnut colour. Her skin had lost its glow and she had lost some weight. It seemed like the sun inside of her had been put out.

When she looked up at him, her eyes went wide for a few moments. “Beckett...?” her voice was only a whisper disbelieving but steady and very cold. There was no trace of the warmth and laughter it used to carry. Her voice now conveyed no emotion at all. They stared at each other for a few moments before she blinked and stood up slowly. She turned around and started to walk away without saying another word...

Not knowing what to do or say Beckett let her go. He felt like he had been shredded into tiny pieces inside. This was terribly wrong... What had happened to her during the last 5 years?

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