#I fucking hated purgatory but something about the dynamics of everyone during it

[okaioh]

ough it's the way that phil told chayanne "being a leader is hard Chayanne, I know" (I'm paraphrasing what he said exactly but yk)

Hasn't he been the one people go to in the past - in which people would say "Phil what do you think we should do?" "I think we should listen to him-" "what would you do Phil?"

then in purgatory he went through all this stress of having everyone depend on him and be their hope in guiding them during the darkest time of their lives, he was the one they all looked up to

and he sees himself in chayanne, who's just a kid :(( - he's been put into the leader role because of being the oldest and hes just trying his best :(( he's just trying to comfort his kid whos doing his damn hardest oughhhhfh,,

#sorry I'm just rambling #I got purgatory on the mind #I fucking hated purgatory but something about the dynamics of everyone during it #made me focus on that mostly #this probably doesn't make much sense but if you get it #uhhh I'll give you a penny #LMAO #qsmp #q!phil #chayanne qsmp

[velvet-tread]

Unfiltered sweary mess: 509 edition

It is 509 right? Someone correct me if it’s not, the weeks are all blurring into one another. Anyway, this was the One with All The Angst of Which We Were Forewarned, and is dedicated to my caps lock key which is buckling under the strain.

OH BOY the warnings were fore and numerous, but were we prepared? NO WE WERE NOT. But even though I wasn’t ready for the intensity of this pain, this angst was nothing less than FUCKING DELICIOUS. The bitter taste of betrayal!!! The wails and the dismay!!! THE TEA AND THE REGRETS!!!

I AM LIKE A PIG IN SHIT HERE.

So let’s just get to the deep shameful hurt of the whole thing: BELLAMY AND CLARKE ARE THE SAME YO I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO TELL YOU.

Beloved person in danger? Check

Big picture invoked? Check

Gentle reframing of the facts? Check.

Self-justification? Check

Beating of breasts and thrashing of chains? Check.

Regretful faces? Check.

Big flouncy mood? Check.

I couldn’t make it up and I WOULD NOT because if I was in charge we’d be on our sixth Sense8 dance montage. Serious question though what did we think the angst would look like?  Did we think Bellamy would shed a single tear over his sister’s poisoning, change his name to Griffin and go off to braid Madi’s hair in the woods?  Did we think Clarke would massage his thighs in sympathy? Which hurt/comfort fanfic exactly do we think this show is mimicking? Is it Survivor’s Guilt? Please be Survivor’s Guilt.

But anyway I loved it all, especially the slap, don’t @ me.  It was like an episode of Dallas, complete with outraged shoulder pads and lady megalomaniac I NEEDED THIS SHOW THANK YOU.  

And it ended with Bellamy on his knees in chains, about to swordfight his way to victory. *weeps* andnowifinallygettoreceive dot gif.

And okay it’s not looking great for imminent thigh massage in 5x10, but just imagine the scale and intensity of the thigh massage when it’s been preceded by tearful confessions and feelings laid bare??? IN SPACE!!! PROBABLY IN CRYOSLEEP!!!! IN 400 YEARS!!! ON A DIFFERENT PLANET???!

SOMEONE WARM THE BERGAMOT OIL ALREADY.

Although the blood did leave my brain for a second there, I was compos mentis enough to notice that the show didn’t actually end with Bellamy on his knees, but with Octavia crying in her shopping cart throne which *more weeping*. Marie is nailing every single scene like a mofo and won’t someone give her an Emmy and also maybe a cat.

Petition for Blodreina to have a sexy cat to stroke while she’s villaining.  Something like this:

(Apologies for the very 1990s-sized image, I spent my entire fuck budget on putting actual words on screen this week)

Anyway might help her with the inability to chill the fuck out, who knows.

Okay so looking ahead to Indra and Bellamy ribbing each other as they plot to slay one another in the ring, with a pause for MY SCREAMING, I will be dismayed beyond measure if Indra, Queen of Everything and My Heart dies this season UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES but I will be extra flip a table furious if she dies just as she and Bellamy are becoming BFFs. HONESTLY. This is the Bellamy x Roan content we were denied tbh.  

And who would send Indra to purgatory to see Roan again and listen to him bitch on and on about how Bellarke isn’t happening quickly enough, and he doesn’t really feel connected to Bellamy anymore and HE JUST LOVES KIDS HE WOULDN’T DO THAT OKAY IT’S NOT REALISTIC and how much he hates Echo for reasons that aren’t clearly defined in his mind but are VERY REAL and DEFINITELY AUTHENTIC.

And look. I love Octavia. I love OCTAVIA SO MUCH even with that double chin and 20-a-day rasp she has when she’s recovering from a fraticidal poisoning but Indra serving her piping hot tea about her personal growth this season was like cool water on a hot summer’s day. FUCKING TELL HER INDRA. TELL HER ABOUT THE EYE MAKE UP REMOVER.

There’s only so much red pigment a person’s forehead can take before that person needs to look in an actual mirror and consider toning it the fuck down.

AND YOU WILL SEE THE WISDOM IN IT

What the happened in the Dark Year?  What did Indra stand by and watch?  Did Octavia have to eat ALL THE PEOPLE BY HERSELF? That sounds barbaric and not a good model for sustainable living tbh? Or is this some kind of freaky bunker version of the Human Centipede that I am going to have to nope out of extremely quickly and never speak of again.

“DON’T TALK TO ME ABOUT THE DARK YEAR (EPISODE 5x11)!!!!”, me probably during the hiatus.

Okay let’s talk about Spacekru. Echo in charge is obviously giving me a lady boner but I suppose that’s a given at this stage. That said, can we have a moment to appreciate the budding Zeke x Echo dynamic? I almost ship it? But at the same time I am dining out on these IF YOU HURT MY FRIEND I WILL WEAR YOUR INTESTINES AS A MURDER CROWN vibes. Get yourself a BFF like Echo will murder on your behalf but is also capable of not murdering your love interest if you really, really insist and make a big fucking deal about it. *huff*

So anyway, Raven and Zeke had a folksy violin moment and Raven actually smiled and I guess he reads now so enjoy the 4,000 Iliad gifsets and SHAW IS A NERD memes that will now pepper your dash from here until eternity.

Also Murphy and Emori are back in the house, and Emori clearly has a great therapist (Raven?) but Murphy is embracing his inner McCreary which means CHAOS!!! STONES!!! STUFF ON FIRE!!! PANTIES DROPPING!!!

Okay so we randomly have the cat again. Not sure why but let’s run with it.

And GREAT. When the shit hits the fan and Echo has a plan, who should turn up but Bunker Jesus to be a right fucking party pooper as ever. Echo gives him the brush off and he delivers a micro-lecture titled HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED WHILE I WAS EATING SALAD WITH DIYOZA INSTEAD OF GIVING YOU VITAL INFORMATION THAT I’M NOW GOING TO BLAME YOU FOR NOT ACTING ON.

You’re on thin ice, bud. I hope Echo and Zeke flip each other off while you’re talking, forever

Anway, Kane has a different plan and precisely nobody gives a shit, except Murphy who decides to sacrifice himself again.  Awe, it’s so cute!  It’s like Murphy, who hated himself and everyone else has dug deep and found himself in possession of some fucks he didn’t know he had!  And it’s all because of Abby!!!

*record scratch*

Wait what??????

It’s because of Abby?  He has to stay because of Abby??!?!

Abby, who has hasn’t seen for 6 years and hasn’t yet mentioned once, 9 episodes into the season and I think maybe mentioned twice last season, one of which was because she was precisely one Clarke away from microwaving his girlfriend.

AND YES I KNOW they once bonded over that one incident when he stole medicine in s4 but what’s that suspended from the ceiling? Oh right, my belief. That’s fine.

Will Murphy’s powers of sardonic disinterest be the thing that finally pushes Abby to quit the sauce, where Raven’s rage and Kane’s support/frustration failed? I ask only because everyone seems to have witnessed Abby’s addiction at this stage except Clarke (and Octavia who didn’t notice for reasons that I’m sure have nothing to do with narcissism) and that seems like…..a thing that is happening.

Meanwhile McCreary is channelling Braveheart but without giving a fuck about anything much and especially not Scotland, unless post-apocalypse Scotland is still a good place to just fuck shit up and glass people for the sheer hell of it. But ha ha! Joke’s on him because his baby mama Diyoza has a Glasgow kiss with his name on it, and a classically Diyoza way of breaking some beautiful news.  

They seem nice.

Sidebar, my problematic McCreary crush is reaching epic proportions and will need to start paying its way in my house very soon because SHIT.

Next week: Bellamy and Indra find friendship against the odds and Indra definitely doesn’t die. They open a coffee shop. It’s called We Are Grounders.

#unfiltered sweary mess #509 edition #usm #my mood has taken an abrupt nose dive since i wrote this so please be kind #I COULD USE A SHOT OF TEQUILA TBH #bellarke #the 100 #the 100 recaps #butterfly #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #octavia blake #indra kom trikru #raven reyes #john murphy #echo kom spacekru