#I feel so guilty also. for leaving s/mblr. it happened accidentally (with tumblr deleting my acc) ofc but I just didn't want to come back

[eldrichthingy]

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#tw vent #I'm so fucking tired honestly. the work is literally killing me lmao. it's just.. the past two months have been horrible for me #maybe it's the lack of therapy. maybe it's just that I have almost no free time. maybe it's that I crave human connection but can't find it #and when I do find it. then I feel like I should've have because communication outside of irl acquaintances or family is so much more tiring #to me for some. weird reason. it's just... I'm used to these people. maybe that's why it's so hard. #I feel so guilty also. for leaving s/mblr. it happened accidentally (with tumblr deleting my acc) ofc but I just didn't want to come back #idk why. I don't feel like I should have a blog at all honestly. maybe I shouldn't have in a find place because what's the point. #what's the point if I don't communicate with people here. and it's just... I'm too tired. too scared I guees. to do that. #idk what I think I just. I just wish I could take a break at work. I'm not sure if it'll help but gods it's so exhausting. #I'm glad that tumblr exists and that I'm here though despite for what I said. it's just a safe place where I can feel slightly more alive #and interact with people. with art. yes even if it's just smallest interactions ever. but the thing is.. I feel so tired right now. and #I've been feeling like this for the long time. and I'm even too tired to be here. idk. maybe it's just not for me. #I wish that next year will treat me at least slightly better. just... everything has been feeling so overwhelming idk #eldrich.rambles #delete later