#I feel bad for the antibodies of people with lactose intolerance. Those poor bastards are literally fighting for their lives.

[batfamfucker]

I wonder if my body knows I am willingly consuming salmon.

Like my antibodies try so hard to fight it off and get it out of my system because they somehow think it's harmful. And they give me all these warnings to say "Hey!!! Hey!!! This is bad for you!!! We're gonna cause a reaction so you know this thing is bad and that we're taking care of it!!! You're now supper itchy!!! It's okay mother we will destroy the intruders!!! We will protect you!!!" Meanwhile I'm just shoveling smoked salmon pasta into my mouth whilst I watch some Netflix because it fucking slaps.

Like do they know? Do they know I'm sending them to fight without caring? Like do they get annoyed? Putting on their little protection gear. Getting ready for battle. And just muttering about me. "We do all this work to make sure he's safe and yet he still wants to eat it because it's 'tasty'. Do you even care, father? Nooooo, all because you want some pasta. I could be doing something I enjoy right now. But I'm not. I'm here. Fighting off another invasion. Simply because you choose to ignore our warnings!!!"

"Fish is actually healthy. It's not bad for me. It won't kill me-"

"JAIL!!! JAIL FOR FATHER FOR ONE HUNDRED AND TWO CELL REGENERATIONS!!!"

#Allergies are weird lmao #I feel bad for the antibodies of people with lactose intolerance. Those poor bastards are literally fighting for their lives. #Not a single person I've ever met with lactose intolerance doesn't consume dairy anyway. #Good for them. Milk slaps. Chocolate slaps. #Could never be me #Weakest link #Natural selection tbh #/Jk