#I don't remember if it's 13 or 23 rungs. but either way.. over the ribs hurt like hell

[neverendingford]

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#I had a dream that the ladder of scars up my side un-faded and was visible again #unfortunately it was just a dream #they get visible when the temperature is just right and my skin coloration shifts a little bit with blood flow #but frankly quite sad that something that took so much work and hurt like hell didn't turn out how I wanted #I don't remember if it's 13 or 23 rungs. but either way.. over the ribs hurt like hell #maybe one day if I really really really feel like it I'll redo them. probably not. but who knows #it'll be midnight and the mood will hit me or something. you know how it is. #probably not though. I've grown enough that I'll just go eat some food and make a very messy painting instead #one of these days I should paint over my whole body. that would be cool #a big time investment and a lot of cleanup work but it would be fun #I've always had the idea to do some sort of art project where I paint/highlight my scars on some thematically appropriate day #if I ever do get any tattoos it's 100% gonna be visually collaborative with my scarring. that would be neat #it's not my fault scars and body injury have been a massive part of my identity since I was two years old #that's what you get for making a huge part of your monthly newsletter “the burned child is recovering well. here's several pictures of him” #that's what you get for making it into a story every time you meet old friends. #what you get for making me take off my shirt to show off “wow it's healed so well!” like I'm an attraction or experiment #anyway I should go back and write more stuff for my self insert oc who made me realize all this shit #because damn turns out I relate to the “child influencer has no privacy and grows up feeling like a spectacle” thing a little too hard #tag talk