#I don't know if I am straight anymore

[gurorori]

haha oh no im definitely not at all disturbed by the prevalence of leftists on all platforms who are loudly 'anti-genocide' when it comes to the palestinian cause (and a couple others at best :3c) yet the only time ukraine [ʊkrɐˈjinɐ] leaves their mouths is in critique, in stark comparison to the former or in complaint about their (american) government sending aid.

at first what i saw often was pointing out the differences in western media framing [ukraine vs palestine], and that's fair (until the words and the agenda of western journalists are used to paint, as a whole, ukrainians who have been actively going through genocide as some kind of white supremacists hogging the blanket of global attention when they kinda just want to live and have the rights to their own land, culture, names and families)

but no one is even caring to do that anymore, today bitches just invent metaphorical scenarios and people to get mad at and to throw an entire ethnos away because wahhhh i decided that you care for X but not for Y!!!.... all while doing the exact thing they are condemning. the exact absolute same and they don't even hide it but do lack the self-awareness to realise

#'ohh i saw white people still go out to rally for ukraine' yeah have you considered they are ukrainian or have ukrainian loved ones or uh #simply have humanity in their heart to care about several humanitarian tragedies in the world? #this is both aimed at a post i saw on here and at SEVERAL. MANY. twitterians with a thousand palestine flags all over their accounts spewing #misinformation hate and sometimes straight up russian propaganda tactics because they're this fucking insane #i don't care about sounding nice anymore by the way. i know my heart lies in the right place and i have the capacity to care about more than #one ongoing genocide of indigenous peoples #removed incidents of bad actors having a ukrainian flag on their backpack doing hateful shit does not somehow okay dismissing a genocide you #so vehemently claim to oppose. they are not ukrainians who are getting bombed on the daily for years #i saw a very lovely 🍉🕊️ lady denying holodomor and using literal russian talking points while patting herself on the back for being such #a good person. i saw one of the most popular leftie accs on twitter be actively anti-ukraine and using slurs. luckily we mass reported them #and they're gone #i'm no longer being careful with my words because i don't want to be misconstrued. i know my values go beyond twitter and tumblr #if i catch you in any way undermining the genocide of ukrainians or only bringing it up to point fingers and bitch i am blocking you forever #don't care how far this post might go cuz of ppls questionable use of the search function. and i didn't care to censor anything #like. masks off. just block me if this is your rhetoric

[a-motherfucking-beast]

coach ur so cool but i hate exercising :(

SON. LET ME TELL YOU. THERE IS A CERTAIN THING ALL THE LANKY BINOS IN THEIR HAUGHTY-TAUGHTY UNIVERSITIES AGREE ON. AND THAT'S THAT THERE ARE *SOME* THINGS THAT ARE ESSENTIAL TO BEING A HUMAN. ART -- MUSIC, DANCE, VISUAL MEDIUMS. FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD. JOY AND SORROW. SHARING OF KNOWLEDGE. FAITH. LOVE. FOR SOMEONE ELSE, FOR THIS WORLD, FOR YOURSELF.

AND, LAST BUT NOT LEAST -- PHYSICAL ACTIVITY. FUCK YEAH

BE IT PLAYING TIGGY IN THE SCHOOLYARD OR BEING A PROFESSIONAL LINEBACKER PRETTY MUCH EVERYONE PLAYS A SPORT OR EVEN JUST WALKS SOMEWHERE AT SOME POINT IN THEIR LIFE. FOR GOOD REASON -- EXERCISE RELEASES ENDORPHINS AND DOPAMINE AND OTHER FEEL-GOOD SHIT IN YOUR BRAIN, BALLFACE, AND EVEN IF YOU DON'T CARE ABOUT ALL THE OTHER BENEFITS OF STAYING HEALTHY AND BEING ABSOLUTELY YOKED AND TAKING CARE OF YOUR BODY THAT SHOULD PROBABLY CONVINCE YOU TO TRY OR SOMETHING LIKE THAT

SON, I'M NOT GOING TO CONVINCE YOU TO TAKE UP BODYBUILDING OR ANY OTHER HEFTY COMMITMENT LIKE THAT. THAT WOULD BE FANTASTIC BUT EVEN I CAN RECOGNISE THAT IT'S NOT FOR EVERYONE. I CAN ONLY OFFER THIS ADVICE.

IF YOU HATE EXERCISING THEN THERE ARE ONLY SEVERAL (AT LEAST ONE) POSSIBILITIES WHY YOU DO.

A) YOU HAVEN'T FOUND THE RIGHT OUTLET. TRY OUT A NEW SPORT YOU HAVEN'T PLAYED BEFORE THAT YOU CAN PLAY AT YOUR LOCAL GYM. HARRY WAS THE FUCKING GOAT AT BEING A GYM TEACHER BUT NOT EVERY GYM TEACHER IS AS FANTASTIC AS HE WAS AND MAY NOT FACILITATE THE FULL EXPERIENCE OF PLAYING A SPORT SO MAYBE EVEN TRY PLAYING SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU DON'T LIKE. HELL, MAYBE TRY SOMETHING LIKE ACROBATIC ARTS, THAT SHIT NEEDS STRENGTH AS WELL. FUCKING BREAKDANCING. BECOME AN ANAL ACROBAT LMFAO. HELL, YOU DON'T NEED SOMETHING STRENUOUS -- EVEN IF YOU GO FOR A WALK IN YOUR LOCAL PARK EVERY MORNING WHEN THE SUN'S JUST RISING (THE VIEW AROUND THE LAKE IN THE MIDDLE OF JAMROCK IS BEAUTIFUL) OR DO SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU WAKE UP THAT COUNTS FOR SOMETHING. DON'T LET ANYONE PUT YOU DOWN FOR DOING LESS THAN THEM.

B) YOU HAVEN'T GOT THE RIGHT PEOPLE SUPPORTING YOU. AGAIN, YOU ONLY WISH YOU COULD'VE HAD OUR HARRY AS YOUR TEACHER AND REFEREE, BUT IT ALSO COMES DOWN TO YOUR TEAMMATES, WHETHER THEY FACILITATE YOUR PRESENCE AND BUILD A SENSE OF CAMARADERIE WITH YOU. YOUR SPOTTER, WHO YOU PLACE ULTIMATE TRUST IN. YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY, THE PEOPLE YOU HOLD CLOSEST WHO YOU CAN SHARE YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS WITH. OR EVEN JUST THE PERSON DOING THEIR OWN THING NEXT TO YOU WHO MIGHT GIVE YOU A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT OR CONGRATULATE YOU WHEN YOU HIT A NEW PERSONAL RECORD. GOING TO A GYM CAN HELP WITH THIS WHEN YOU ALL HAVE A SHARED GOAL, BUT THERE'S PLENTY OF ELITISTS THERE WHO MIGHT SHIT ON YOU FOR BEING A NEWBIE OR NOT HAVING THE SAME CAPABILITIES AS THEM OR EVEN HARASSING YOU FOR YOUR IDENTITY. TUNE THEM OUT. THESE KINDS OF PEOPLE ARE PRESENT EVERYWHERE YOU GO AND YOU SHOULDN'T ALLOW THEM TO SULLY YOUR EXPERIENCES. OR ALSO YOU CAN DECK THEM IN THE FACE. PERSONALLY I'M LEANING TOWARDS THE SECOND ONE BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE (DO THE SECOND ONE)

NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THAT STRAIGHT, I'LL TELL YOU RIGHT NOW -- ONLY DO SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU'RE CAPABLE OF, AND SOMETHING YOU KNOW YOU CAN ENJOY. DON'T TURN THIS SHIT INTO A GODDAMN CHORE THAT LEAVES YOU SUFFERING EVERY TIME YOU DO IT, THAT'S NOT THE FUCKING POINT OF ANY OF IT. I DON'T KNOW YOUR PERSONAL SITUATION, NOT EVERYONE'S GOT THE MEANS OR THE TIME OR THE PHYSICAL CAPABILITIES. BUT CALISTHENICS DOESN'T TAKE ANY SPECIAL EQUIPMENT AND EVEN JUST SOME STRETCHES WHEN YOU GET UP WILL DO. GODDAMMIT, COACH *WILL* FIND SOMETHING THAT WORKS FOR YOU, BOY

ANYWAYS DAMN RIGHT I'M FUCKING COOL DON'T YOU FORGET THAT

#SKILLSPOSTING #LONG POST #Ooc: OK dropping the “ooc notes in capslock too” bit for this. I am so sorry I don't know how this got so long. I blame the capslock LOL 🤣 #Even now my eyes are glazing over looking at this... #This is something I'm a liiiittle bit passionate about. HPE was always my C subject in school while I'd get straight A's everywhere else... #...and my teachers were all the type to only watch the people they already knew were good (who would be very exclusive and only pass... #...the ball to one another). Badminton saved me though! 😊 (Sadly my leg is too bad now so I can't play anymore...) #It's easy for me to say all this since I come from a place of privilege having enough free time for this when some people might not #As well as being able to walk and run in the first place. And usually having the motivation to get up to do that. #So again don't let me yelling at you through PI influence you. You know *yourself* better than anyone. #BUUUUT even some stretches when you get up can make you feel good! 🤗Hahaha #Treat your body well. It's the only one you have. (I know that's *so* cliché to say... but it's a cliché for a reason hahaha) #ALSO. This whole thing... kind of doesn't align with my view of PI? But I'll talk about that in the tags of another response I need to make

[bunkernine]

society if hoo had them at uni age and the lost trio went to chb and chiron is like "how tf are ANY of u alive and unclaimed". wilderness was just community college.

#on a serious note this changes a lot actually. annabeth and percy would not be in chb anymore so when percy goes missing #its like. a genuine possibility and fear because demigods don't make it that old. there is also some added time between tlo and tlh as well #further adding to jasons isolation as being even WEIRDER than everyone else. he also would've been praetor for longer so maybe the romans #wouldve cared more. this also does away with the plot hole of ppl not giving a shit that jason piper and leo (and dylan) straight up #dipped. introducing piper especially to a summer camp makes chb less appealing because they're too old for that and thus makes their #departure from chb make more sense in toa. yet also it opens up the possibility of new rome uni.... which i cannot see any reason as to why #leo would not go there!!!!! outside of being banned cuz he bombed new rome lol. but pipers sexuality arc works for college too!!! ur never #too old to find urself. but also this is the question of if you are able to relatively function in society (this is more for piper leo fran #and i guess percy) then why would you even fight this prophecy??? anyway lol them being college aged is perfect cuz percy is literally #going to a new place and having a new transition with new ppl... like u do in college LOL. now the question is would hazel still be 13. nic #is a lot older at this point and perhaps has the same age gap as bianca and him did 🤔 cant remember. but also don't know why hazel was 13 #in the first place lol. idk. in my college hoo she is just a senior in hs about to graduate from spqr and thinking about staying there or #possibly going to newru after seeing frank make the decision the previous year! SAD! #anyway in hoo. percy and annabeth are sophomores. frank and the lost trio are freshman. #but then in toa. percy annie frank and the lost trio are all graduating cuz percy got held back and Annabeth failed after tartarus fr. #but then also know that piper never went to newru and is adamant about going to mortal uni. and leo kills in newru but is bored. nvm i #forgot he died 🧍‍♂️ ummmmmm ok. ignore leo. and jason actually. so um. ok that really threw me off but are u getting it. that's when apollo #is like 'heeyyyyy i need help pwease 🥺' and they're all like 'dude.' #OK! #but also i ackowedge that this is a children's book and i am not its demographic so god be with you.

[von-karmas-a-bitch]

playing tgaac as a british person is really a trip bc i got to the bit where susato and ryuunosuke are musing about the bricked up windows in london and what possible purpose there could be for bricking up the windows when someone clearly still lives there. they don't know about the window tax......

#can't even have windows in this god-forsaken country smh #they really will tax based on anything other than actual income #it's not a thing anymore as far as im aware but still #instead of taxing based on how much their income might be based on how big the house might be based on the number of windows #how about you idk maybe... tax..... the rich........ instead of taking windows away from poor people #don't even get me started on council tax that's still a thing #why don't you tax the guy who actually owns the property instead of assuming im well off bc i live in a nice area #tax the landlord he's already bleeding me dry #waiting with bated breath for my sister's boyfriend to move in before we're officially put on the contract bc otherwise we straight up #will not be able to afford the council tax #why. why am i taxed based on an assumption of what my income may be based on my location #you know my actual income is peanuts what the fuck #hate this hell country. war and hell on planet earth #tgaac #sophia's soliloquies

[elliesbelle]

lol

#humungous trigger warning for the tags in the post #but i just need to vent somewhere and i don't want people irl to be in my business about this #or to get too worried and all... #tw: mentions of death and weapons and mental illness and suicide and sh-ing and abuse etc. #please feel free to ignore like i said i just need somewhere to vent #anyway i'm just so sick of being alive fr i've been so massively suicidal this past week and i'm so tired #having bpd AND bipolar AND depression AND ptsd and etc.... #it really hurts so much #and my personal life is in fucking shambles like i just don't know what to do anymore #i feel so fucking alone all the goddamn time #so many friends don't give a fuck about anymore like they straight up just don't check up on me or anything #and my ex... i just. why can't you be more fucking understanding of what i'm fucking going through because of you #how the fuck did you turn my months-long depressive episode into me not caring about you cause i couldn't open about what i was going thru #i get you were fucking lonely but i was trying not to fucking die i was over here being talked off ledges #and then sending me a voice memo saying that you were lonely and trying to make an effort but i just didn't care about any of it #it's not fucking about you!!!! i didn't even let my own girlfriend or best friend in!!!! that's what fucking mental illness is!!!!!! #you promised that you'd be more understanding about my mental illnesses when we started talking again #what the fuck is this then? #why am i breaking down every time that you ignore me or take forever to text #like... she's gone back to calling me by my name instead of calling me 'baby' like she always has #she hasn't called me by my name since we first started talking it's been literally fucking years #and not saying i love you to me anymore... #and how can you fucking promise to stay in my life and still be my 'friend' and then fucking ignore me and don't answer my text messages #how the fuck am i supposed to feel that you haven't responded to me in over 24 hours but you react to days old ig messages from me #i fucking hate having borderline for fucking real i hate that she's my fp it hurts so fucking much #i feel like a fucking child i can't deal with this #i literally woke up from my sleep at like 3 or 4 am this morning nearly screaming #and then my gf found me on the living room couch crying and cuts all over my arm and a kitchen knife next to me #my left arm has been stinging all day from the fresh wounds #too painful to bandage them at the moment

[nebulouscoffee]

Friends I crave distraction. Please feel free to send me random Star Trek asks - about the shows, the characters, hot takes, theories, your fics, my fics, someone else's fics- anything is fine, I would very much welcome it

#it's been a rough week. people I know stop dying challenge :( #I'm sorry about the incoming tag rant but I literally cannot believe these last three months #I just got off the phone after what. number 7? 8? #and I feel so bad because it's not even MY immediate family so I shouldn't make this about me but like #these are still people who raised me #people who have been around since I was a kid #people I really believed were going to be around for a lot longer #(and pets. plural. what is UP with the number of deaths lately) #I'm just very exhausted with everything I'm not even crying anymore I'm literally just tired and I feel like I'm losing it #and yes I am not at the centre of these losses but it's still a cumulative effect...like spending hours & hours at funerals & on the phone #with grieving friends and family and trying to be there for them and not having any space or time to process these losses for myself #is not an unreasonable thing to feel exhausted from right? especially not after like three straight months of this? #anyway. would really like to think about people who don't really exist for the next few hours and maybe ramble a bit once I make dinner :)

[philistiniphagottini]

Hey guys. Look, I don't like making these sort of posts but I'm going to have to, considering the recent influx of new followers. Could you guys please, please read my rules before sending in a request. It's the first post pinned to my page. It is shitting me to tears because I can tell when some people obviously do not read it and I'm going to have to ignore some requests because it is starting to piss me off just how many people are blatantly not even bothering to read through a post designed to help you with what I will and won't write.

#sorry if this post sounded passive aggressive #but #guys i'm gonna be honest #i'm not a content machine #please stop treating me like a doormat #what happened to people even using basic manners when requesting anymore #this is obviously not directed at the sweet anons who follow my rules #this is for the ones i know don't even bother and just go straight to my inbox and basically demand #i'm at a really fucking low point and i am so close to quitting #i'm not joking #i adore the sweet people who actually care about my writing #but this has been a problem for years and i'm reaching my limit

[beholdthemem]

Every single time I go down to the picket I'm like "THIS time I've put on enough sunscreen :)" and every single time I am wrong.

#personal #in other news I have a sunburn headache and am housesitting in a house with no tylenol or tylenol related products #...also half the lights are on the fritz because they have em hooked up to the alexa (GOD knows why they're lovely people but i do NOT #understand) and the alexa is having a bad connectivity day with means that you just. #straight up cannot turn on the lights in the family room. #you can only do it by asking her the light switches don't work anymore and she's on vacation today so...

[betweenheroesandvillains]

.

#talking about violence against women with men is so exhausting #always having to reassure them no no haha not you of course or anyone we know haha just other men #like it isn't statistically likely that it's them or their friends or brothers or fathers #but mention that it might also be someone they know and like and watch how fast they do a 180 #'Oh well that was a different situation' IT WAS STILL VIOLENCE #or even worse 'yeah well what am i supposed to do that's just how it is' #you know what. maybe truly everything is lost. I don't want to believe that but with how often i have now heard men be defeatist #or straight up claim it's not a problem at all idk what to do anymore. #Girls learn how to rip a man's testes off and how to break a nose I guess #and i'm not putting the usual disclaimers here bc i'm tired of it i put so many disclaimers for friends colleagues and family and in the en #it's all just so they can lean back and say 'but not me though' like ok cool wish that could be me but can't #anyway rant over and if i see a terf or Classical Radfem or political lesbian on this i block on sight this is just for me and my 5 followe

[britneyshakespeare]

being aroace is weird bc i’m queer but other queer ppl for the most part don’t understand the way i’m queer unless theyre also aro and/or ace

#i belong to the queer community but ppl think i'm an asterisk #queer on a technicality #queer because i'm definitely definitely definitely not straight #and i relate to other ppl under the queer umbrella but i feel like they don't. relate. to me #most likely bc they haven't seen or heard from many ppl w my experience which is...... hmph #bc i didn't really see or hear from anyone w my experience until i realized... oh shit that's me #& had to go seeking out others. i had to be inclined for my own self-interested reasons. which were totally fair #but like most other ppl are just. not. inclined to learn about aspecs especially not arospecs #which frankly i think i just get more and more aro w age #tales from diana #i'm gray aro (but very VERY aro okay very very disinterested in romance & borderline romance repulsed) #it's happened a couple times.... briefly for the most part. the 'gray' area is not very important to me nowadays #but when i was younger & i had NO CLUE i was aro & i just wanted romance i was very very confused #trying to figure out if i liked girls or not...... which i do....... but like...... in the same...... lukewarm way i liked boys #so i am sapphic and when i finally started to accept that side of myself around 18-19 it felt very important to me #& i still am sapphic. i still am queer in that way. but i hardly hardly ever care to define myself as bi these days. #not because i'm NOT bi anymore. but bc the way almost everyone uses 'bi' i just don't really feel represents me. #im aroace... that's what i am. other aroaces & their experiences represent me #my friends irl all know i'm queer but only like 3 of them even know i'm ace. bc it's not easy to come out as. #but i... do not like to tell ppl i'm bi. not anymore. they get the wrong assumptions in their head. #& those assumptions don't make me uncomfortable except for. it's not ME. #that's the only thing wrong w it. it's that there's this big missing MOST OF MY IDENTITY in my relationships. #i wish ppl fuckin understood more widely the aspec experience. for real. #my fellow aspecs i love you all btw.

[blackwaxidol]

the kneejerk response, the idea or belief that when Israel as a state ceases to exist, that its settlers will become second-class citizens or outright killed is not only repetition of the same hysterical argument that has existed—yet never coming to pass—in other apartheid states but it is also indicative that the speaker has not been listening to what has been said over and over and over again by Palestinians, or perhaps that he refuses to listen entirely.

liberal or proclaimed leftists showing that they do not understand or support anticolonialism as much as they purport to be should not be unexpected, it is much easier for a person to lie back and say "oh yes i am of course an anticolonialist" without ever bothering to learn of what it is, because they believe it is simply a matter of common human decency and not an extensive history that must be learned from to be understood. the liberal believes many things for the sake of being courteous, rather than having any real interest in the matter. it is why they are shocked or appalled by its violence, and it is then that they will appeal to "both sides". the solution in such a mind as theirs is voting, or patience. anything else to them is barbarism. they are eager to buy lies about what is to them the wrong way of "going about things", so that they do not lose sleep at night.

#i hope this reads sensically. it unfortunately takes me a long time to read and write anymore. #other people have said this better than me. #i read a lot—i am attentive regardless of dissociative fugue—but i am not a very good talker. #i can tolerate a lot of misery. 7000 people murdered and yet people will refuse to see it or regard it in their minds. #it is a footnote they can pay no heed to. #i say i can tolerate a lot of misery because i come across people on here who proclaim they must blacklist for their own sake of mind. #if i can be a walking corpse of suicidal BPD mania for a week straight yet still bear close witness then so can you. #in likely less of an abysmal state than i. #i come here to say this at all because my mother cannot take much more of what i tell her. #the depravity haunts her and she tells me it is too much now. #we kept having conversations i didn't remember starting or finishing. my mind is pulled in a few different directions recently. #but regardless. i know she will talk about what i have told her. to her friends her clients et cetera. #and that is as much influence or usefulness i can hope to exert in my physical offline state. #i am vastly more talkative about matters offline because i have far more influence there by virtue of my mother who is #a rather well-liked woman. her talking will reach more people. #but i recognise by comparison this can make me seem grossly inattentive in my sort of silence. #and i am very sorry for that. #i want to correct something i said here but i don't know how. #''i can tolerate a lot of misery'' is not how i would like it to be read. #rather i do not compromise continued knowledge/awareness because i do not personally feel well. #i cannot look away from any of it and i cannot imagine attempting to justify doing so.

[girlscience]

hng rgg aaaggh. maybe confronting the possibility that perhaps i might have sexuality and gender related ocd tendencies and i really don't want to *lays down and cries on the lab floor*

#i know that i have ocd tendencies. i do not want to self diagnose however #i struggle with obsessive rumination and doubt and circular thought patterns #and compulsive self-checking and reassurance seeking #wayyyyy more than i think is normal and it is often extremely distressing #and i don't want to admit that maybe it is a problem #and i know i have struggled with this before about a pretty wide variety of other things #like religion and specific beliefs about being a certain kind of evil that lead to extreme intrusive thoughts and constant body monitoring #but i am finally finally out of those things and don't deal with them at all anymore #and i don't want to admit that this specific kind of thing might just be something i deal with for my whole life #and also don't want to admit this Specifically may mean i can't be involved in the larger queer community #because it is straight up bad for my brain because i can't stop myself from circling identities like a demented carousel #and i just want so badly to be able to be part of that because i want a community and constantly feel the need to belong somewhere #(which is a whole OTHER issue but we aren't dealing with that right now)

[thankyouscarlettverycool]

#hi hi hello I'm back with the dramaa #matty healy #the 1975 #so I identify as unlabelled or just not straight. bc tbh I don't know and I'm going off vibes like I don't want to commit to anything yet #you know? but there's a couple things frustrating me. firstly there's these two people in college #one of them is the toxic friend who I've made up with but am keeping at a distance. and the other is just a dick ngl #anyway I've said to both of them that I'm not straight and they've both then gone and said in front of me 'scarletts the only straight one/ #scarlett's completely straight' like hello?? no im not and I told you that :( #The other thing is more important. when I was like 14/15 people used to say that they thought I wasn't straight and a couple of them now #are probs thinking oh I was right. but really no they weren't? because I was straight at 15. people change and I think I have the right to #know my identity and surely I know it over someone else? like just because I'm not straight anymore doesn't mean I wasn't and it just felt #so invalidating at the time #the dick at college actually said to me at one point 'oh well it takes some people longer to know.. I knew at 12.' as if its an achievement #to 'realise your identity' as if identity doesn't change. and that I just took longer to 'realise' but I didn't. like only I know how I #felt/feel and surely that's valid. #scarlett rants about matty

[skyteglad]

the latest aita is making me sad. the teeth one. because like... when i was a kid, i was told to have braces! and that i'd need an eventual surgery! and because i didn't want to, my parents didn't make me.

that surgery would've changed my life. i'm not fucking kidding. i'm pretty sure 75% of my physical disabilities stem from not getting that surgery. and by the time i was able to bring up trying to have corrective work again, i was two years from losing my insurance, and my parents procrastinated. now it seems like a pipe dream it'll ever happen.

i get being resentful of your parents forcing you to do things you don't want to do, but god damn, if mine had actually really pushed me into getting braces, my life would be so much different and so much better.

#riot.txt #personal #vent #sorry i'm just. really emotional and maybe a lil triggered #bc SO MUCH of my physical and mental health problems can be stemmed to my jaw #and my teeth. #bc i didn't get that surgery i can't swallow easily. i can't take medication i severely need. my back and neck are bent in ways i can't und #due to lack of breathing. i can't sit up straight bc i can't breathe and that's caused so much damage to me! #if they'd have pushed me into caring for my teeth and my body it would've saved me SO much heartache and pain. i'll have no way of knowing #how different life would be #but i know for a FACT i wouldn't have certain issues i have now... i'd be on mental health medication i wouldn't have chronic pain i'd be #able to function in society without feeling like a burden who'll never be able to get on social security #idk im jst... PLEASE iff you have the chance to have orthopedic work done - DO IT. #if your PARENTS are going to be footing the bill and have good insurance i PROMISE thats a fucking blessing #bc i can't work anymore and the surgery i need that might fix a lot of my life is in the tens of thousands without insurance that i cant bu #anyways sorry to ramble n trauma dump but its my blog and if ANYONE sees this and it helps them or convinces them to get work done while #they can then. idk. feels worth it to be vulnerable :'3 #EDIT: also like... if they'd forced me sure i'd be resentful #but ykw i am rn? even more resentful for the intense medical neglect that stemmed from 'well he doesn't want to so lets not make him' #most kids don't want to go to the doctor. maybe if they'd taken me regularily to a fucking doctor i'd have more answers for what's wrong wm #like... god i'd have hated braces then bc ofc i would i was a kid #but i hate even more now knowing just how fucking NEGLECTED i was as a kid bc they let me make my own choices by going the hands off approa #iunno. anyways. nah on that aita. you're allowed to be upset and resent him for it but GOD he is not an asshole for caring about you #'your body your choice' does not apply here at all. i'm so sorry to tell u this. fdkgfdhgkjdgd #EDIT 2: didn't even MENTION the fact i have dehibilitating chronic migraines and headache that i suspect are directly tied to my poor denta #health!! LIKE. AT LEAST ONCE A WEEK FOR THE ENTIRE DAY #SOMETIMES (OFTEN) MUTLIPLE TIMES A WEEK. #i only JST NOW got access to medicatio to help w it and i CAN'T. SWALLOW. THE MEDICATION THAT PREVENTS THE MIGRAINE FROM GETTING WORSE #I CAN ONLY SWALLOW THE DAILY MED... BC ITS _SO FUCKING TINY_. #aahghghfgdfhgdfjd -puts face in hands-

[daydreamertrait]

i think it's funny how sometimes someone might be your closest friend but you're like not even in their top five bc my only friend just booked a trip to spain with two of her other friends meanwhile all she does with me is get lunch once a month lol

#im saying lol but im actually crying #sobbing actually #whyyyy am i unable to form meaningful friendships this is so sad #mind you I KNOW HER TWO OTHER FRIENDS WE WERE ALSO FRIENDS IN HIGH SCHOOL!!!! #they just dont really talk to me much anymore #am i that unlikeable that they don't want to be around me for a week straight or what #like im actually so upset right now #...

[dragcnflame]

𝐌𝐔𝐍 𝐕𝐒. 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄

(i don't even have pink hair anymore i'm just ginger now but i figure my pink hair deserves one last pic crew edit ✌️)

Tagged by: @s4ints Tagging: @korinthiakos @witcheri @shadowedvales @tobeblamed @antihcroes @calamitism @shadysidcrs @postguilt & anyone else who wants to do it

#*lynn proceeds to make dial up noises* 🦋 ooc #i have those sunglasses and the fact that i can not find them rn is straight up killing me i own that entire outfit #they don't sell them anymore but i think i could track down a pair online #but i am out here suffering without them #moving is going great my cat still doesn't know what's coming her way