#I don't have tiktok but Instagram reels are positively worse I know

[aaronhotchswife]

THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL

Drew Starkey x Female Reader

Chapter 1

Warnings : alcohol, panick attack, angst, want to give the reader a hug, smut, loss of virginity

Chapter 2

"If two people are meant to be together, they will eventually find their way back into each other's arms, no matter what."

Drew's point of view

I look at her, sleeping on my shoulder. She looks so peaceful, her breathing is serene. I look at her lips, that even if I kissed them a lot for the sake of the show, I wonder how they would taste if it was for real. I had agreed to watch Tangled with her since I know it's her favourite movie. For the year she lived with me, she asked me to watch it with her. She was always watching it alone but I finally succumbed to watching it tonight.

She moves slightly, causing me to hold my breath.

'"Hi," she says, repositioning herself on the couch. "Sorry about that," she glances to my shoulder.

"Hey, don't worry," I speak softly, my gaze went back to the movie, a lantern scene playing.

"I woke up just in time for my favourite scene"

"This is your favourite scene ?" I chuckle, incredulous.

"Yeah ! It's so romantic. The ways he looks at her and the song, it's cute."

"It is," I say, looking over her.

We finished the night both laying on the couch, showing each other tiktoks and funny Instagram reels. It was nice to just hang out, like roommates and friends, even if in my head, I always had that little thing, where she might likes me back.

Y/N's point of view

I come back from the grocery store, rubbing my hands together from the cold outside before setting the grocery bags on the counter.

"Drew ?" I spoke loudly, waiting for him to answer me. "Are you home?"

Without getting any answers, I emptied the grocery bags before laying on the couch, a cooking TV show playing in the background.

***

To : Cut the camera

Mads : the guys chose the bar for tonight. They say it's a pub kind of place

Y/N : girlsss idk what to wear

Lacia : you should wear your blue jeans with your black silk top 🥵

Mads : I AGREE

Mads : btw Odessa's gonna be there tonight

Y/N : that must be why Drew isn't home

Y/N : i already didn't feel like going now it's worse 🙃

Madie : c'mon girl, you're gonna have a great time with us!! And it's the last time that we're gonna see each others before everyone leave for Christmas soooo

Since Drew and Odessa were filming a movie together, they were always hanging out. I tried my best not to be jealous of her but it was hard. I felt like she was prettier, skinnier, funnier than me. And Drew seems to find her really interesting. Which was ok. I was just his roommate and his best friend. Just his roommate and his best friend.

***

The pub was crowded just enough. I was sitting next to JD and Lacia, talking about crazy fan theories.

"Oh there he is!" JD exclaim, reaching out his hand to do a handshake with Drew. I felt my hands getting clammy, feeling a bit anxious seeing him with her.

"Hi man, hi Lacia, hi Y/N." Drew said, his eyes scanning the booth.

"Hi guys!" said Odessa.

JD and Lacia said hi at the same time, but I find the straw in my drink a lot more interesting than her. I looked over Drew, making eye contact with him before letting my gaze fall back down to my drink.

Drew's point of view

I saw her, wearing her cute jeans and that black top that embraced her curves.

She looked over me, her eyes filled with something else than usually. Her expression changed the second she saw me. I sat at the booth, next to JD. Even if I wanted to sit next to her, she seemed more absorbed by the straw in her drink that by my presence. Odessa sat next to me, putting her hand on my back, making me stiffen. I saw Y/N's gaze looking over me, before she got up, walking over Madelyn and Chase. I get up, walk over them to say hi to my friends. She is standing next to me, but she is still looking everywhere except where I want her to look. I leaned over her, my hand finding a place on her back.

"You ok ?" I asked.

"Positive."

Her tone is dry and I can't think of any reasons of why she would be like that.

"So you brought Odessa ?" Chase asked, making me come back to reality.

"Yeah, well we're spending a lot of time together these days because of Hellraiser and she's nice and —"

"In that case you should go see her before she starts missing you too much."

I turned back to Y/N, my brows furrowed. The tone is which she said it is harsh, something that would normally not happen with her. She doesn't look at me and instead, before I can answer anything, her eyes find Rudy, Austin and Madison talking next to the bar and just like that, she's gone.

Y/N's point of view

I'm sitting at the booth, listening to Rudy asking Austin a Truth or Dare question. I am here, but I feel as if my head is somewhere else. Somewhere alone with Drew. Somewhere where he is in love with me.

"Drewbear, if you saw me on Tinder, would you swipe right ?"

I can hear Odessa giggling while she's asking her question to Drew. Even if I do not want to hear his answer, I suprise myself raising my head and listening carefully. I can't invent the way his eyes look at me before making their way to Odessa.

"I would."

I feel my heart stop. I know I didn't have the right to be jealous of her. We are just friends, even if sometimes it feels like we are more than that. I try to smile, making it seems like it don't affect me, but the way I see Madelyn look at me, her eyes filled with pity, I feel the tears raising in my eyes. I get up to go order a drink, asking everyone if they wanted a refill. I could hear my voice shaking, trying my best to control myself.

"I'll come with you," Drew says, raising from his seat.

"You don't have to."

"C'mon Y/N/N, you can't bring 5 drinks by yourself," he smiled, following me to the bar.

I ordered the drinks, watching the floor and playing with the rings on my fingers waiting for the drinks to be ready.

Drew's point of view

"Did I do something wrong ?" I spoke softly. I could feel something was wrong and it made me sick in my stomach, thinking that I could've hurt her. "You're acting weird ever since I've arrived."

She stops playing with her rings, lifting her head to watch me.

"You didn't."

"Then why are you acting like that ? Being mean about Odessa, ignoring me ? You're in your little world since the beginning of the night, looking everywhere but at me. C'mon, you know we're best friends and that we say everything to each other."

"Do we ? Do we tell each other everything Drew ?" Her voice was trembling.

The moment was cut by the bartender, handing us the drinks.

"I want to talk about it Y/N." I talk louder, making our way to the booth.

"There is nothing to talk about."

Y/N's point of view

As I sat at the booth, my phone vibrated. I look down to see a text from Madelyn.

'You really should tell him how you feel'

Another vibration.

'He's in love with you. You should see the way he looks at you. He's just trying to make you jealous'

'Yeah right' I write back.

'It's working'

"Y/N, truth or dare ?" Odessa asks.

There's is no way I trust this girl enough for a dare, so I answer truth.

"How many persons did you have sex with ?"

I feel the heat creeping up on my cheeks. Even if being a virgin in my 20's sucked, it was always something I could hide. Except for now because the way she looks at me, I'm pretty sure she realizes what I am.

"Oh oh, are you a virgin ?" She laughed sarcastically.

Everybody at the table is silent. Because even if mostly everyone knew, the tone is which she said it makes everyone feel tense. I feel my breath getting shorter and I start getting dizzy. I can't breathe. I can't feel my heart. I can't even focus on the faces of my friends in front of me. I feel like I'm in high school again, with the mean girls. I feel like I will die. I look at Drew, a pleading look on my face. I want him to do something even if I don't know what. I need air, I need the cold air of December to help me breathe.

Drew's point of view

Everybody is silent, everybody is looking at me. Madelyn gets up, running to the door, yelling Y/N's name. I turn to face Odessa and I know she can see the anger in my eyes.

"What. The. Fuck is your problem ?" I speak loudly, not a care in the world if I'm causing a scene. "You should leave. Now." I tell her before exiting the bar, looking for Y/N.

I find her outside, on her knees. Madelyn is next to her, on her knees as well, rubbing her back. I can hear her crying, her respiration is twitching as she tries to speak.

"I–I–don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm not good for anyone," I hear her say between tears. "I–feel like I will die. Why did she do that. Why can't he love me," I see her hyperventilating and I want to say something. To do something. But my feet are stuck on the ground.

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay. You're alive. You're with me. It's okay," I can hear Madelyn comforting her.

"You should go. I think you're the last person she wants to see at the moment," Madison speaks loudly behind me, Lacia following her . Madelyn raises her head, as does Y/N.

"Make him leave Madie, please, make him leave."

I heard her, I look over the girls, tears forming in my eyes. I don't understand anything that is happening right now. I don't understand how my best friend is on the floor have a breakdown because of me.

Y/N's point of view

I run outside, falling to my knees on the ground. I can't breathe. The blood is pounding in my ears. My heart is thudding in my chest.

"Y/N!" I hear Madelyn say, but I don't have the strength to turn back. I need to be alone, I need to breathe.

"Y/N," Madelyn is reaching to me, holding me close to her. My breathing is shaking and I try to control it, to control the tears falling down on my cheeks. I feel humiliated, I feel as if I'm going to die. I don't hear Drew running out the door and I don't see him standing there, his face broken.

"It's okay. It's okay. Breathe with me." Madelyn says, inhaling and exhaling. I try to do the same but my breath gets stuck.

"I–I–don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel like I'm not good for anyone," I say between tears. "I–I feel like I will die. Why did she do that. Why can't he love me," I rambled, unable to say anything that make sense.

"Shh, it's okay. You're okay. You're alive. You're with me. It's okay."

I don't hear Drew running out the door and I don't see him standing there, his face broken. I only realized he's there when I hear Madison and Lacia telling him to go home.

"Make him leave Madie, please, make him leave," I begged.

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