#I don't have enough words for my guy

[anotherfanaccount]

That bandage is holding on the sanity of the Fandom.

Godddd I adore Dreamies so much but it still shocks me that they're grown up....me being barely older than them but still. Why are you all still not the chewing gum kids.

This comeback looks sooooo good already.

#nct dream #kpop #nct #dreamies #mark lee #I'll be waiting for uour giggles and roasts dear #renjun #they used renjun's artwork #go my artist renjun #jeno #I don't have enough words for my guy #jaemin #pretty boy crying and fighting #I'm seated #haechan #glitching and has my lore seeking brain alerted #chenle #can't wait for his stories about these shoots #jisung #he's the main character #dreamscape

[iceeericeee]

I wonder how many tags i can add on to this

#there must be SOME kind of a limit otherwise posts would get suuuuuuper duper long like is it just 30? #idk but i'm going to find out by simply maxxing out the character limit for each tag and finding out the limit of tags for each post lololo #this is gonna be great. i just have to remember to type without ever using the comma. it shouldn't be too hard right? fuck i almost typed #the comma i'm already bad at this smh my head. also if your still here i commend you. you have a better attention span than i do. #i'm already starting to get bored holy shit this is not happening. i gotta power through this. FOR SCIENCEEEEEEEEEE. or somethinggggggggggg #but fr idk what else to say. maybe just saying that i don't know what to say will be good enough? but does that even count? #I don't even know anymore. ffffffffuck. this is gonna be a while huh? also holy shit if you're still here omg u deserve like. a prize or #something because u definitely didn't have to stay and read all of this bull shit. lololol i typed out bs but decided to just spell the who #thing out just to make it go by faster. i'm so lazy. this is only the nineth tag HOW will i make it to 30. i am sobbing the adhd is adhding #very hard rn. are you still here? bruh this is insane. i have somehow managed to keep ur attention this long and it's just me spouting #absolute balderdash. wait do you know what balderdash even means? i don't care if you do already i'm gonna tell you anyway. balderdash is #basically just another word for nonsense. boom. you learned something new today. balderdash equals nonsense equals this damn post. #why did i decide to do this in the first place. it was a dumb idea. i don't know if i can even keep going. this is only the *counts tags* #it's the 14th tag. we've got a long way to go boys. men. soldiers. comrads. friends. besties peeps. marshmallows. #where was i going with this? oh yeah. trying to max out the limit for tags. dang i almost typed a comma there. i haven't done that since #i think the third or fourth tag. dang that feels like such a long time ago. not for you guys probably. it feels longer because i have to li #type it all out and stuff. so it's definitely gonna feel longer for me. are you still here? good lord don't you have better things to #be doing than reading all of this? we're already on tag number 18. it feels like i should be on the thirtyeth by now. or however it's spell #'toast' you might be wondering 'why are you typing out the names of the numbers instead of say '9' or '5'?' well you see. young one. #this is a strategy i'm using to make each tag slightly longer. even if i don't know how to spell it. it'll make it just a little bit longer #anyway. i got off topic. not that there was ever a topic to begin with. unless it's about making this as long as i can. #which i am apparently good at doing. i guess. are you STILL here? do you seriously have nothing to do? i guess i'm flattered you stayed thi #whole time. instead of reading something else you stayed here. with me. listening to me talk. on the twenty-third tag. oh yeah its tag 23 #except now it's tag twenty-four. how crazy is that. this little talk is almost over. only 6 tags away if memory serves right. this's strang #i kind of don't want this to end. but i know it should. after all there is a limit. but all things must come to and end at some point i gue #i'm running out of things to say. it's probably a good thing it's almost over. hahahahah............... but i don't want to go. i don't wan #to leave this post. i've worked so hard on it. and for what. just for it to end. are you still here? yes? good. i'd hate to end this alone. #thank you for indulging me and my craziness. the end is only 2 tags away now. you can go ahead and leave. i'll be okay on my own. really... #...you're still here? i- i don't know what to say. i suppose a toast is in order. perhaps. for this journey. this stupid dumb post i though #would be fun. i'll make it short. it's the last tag after all. this was fun. but i will never do it again. so long as a i live. i'll miss y

[andthebeanstalk]

My first time watching Glass Onion it was obvious that Miles' speeches were bullshit, but I still searched for any hidden meaning there might be.

The second time is a different experience though because every time my brain starts to search for meaning, I feel like Benoit Blanc discovering that no, there is absolutely no hidden meaning.

It's bullshit it's all nothing nothing nothing! It is just how you end up talking when everyone reacts to your self-aggrandizing word vomit like it is actually wisdom.

Also, legit, when Miles gave his stupid bullshit speech about what the word 'disruptor' means to him, I shit you not I was like holy shit am I back in business school right now?!

Miles must have given speeches like that at 100 business school graduations, goddamn.

Like, the motherfuckers really do sound like this. We didn't have any billionaires come, but we had a lot of millionaire guest speakers in my classes, and they fucking talk like that.

They all think they're rugged capitalists, but they're just glass onions!

#original #glass onion #it's just. business school prepared me really well to succeed in the business world as a straight white neurotypical #able-bodied cis man with a large network of very wealthy friends and family #I really would have killed it if I wasn't a queer autistic cripple! #even the best teachers seemed incredibly unaware of the enormous privilege that they were assuming in their students when they taught #but they basically presupposed you had infinite energy and savings and a disturbingly large number of my classes were just #lectures about pushing as hard as you can no matter what #they used Starbucks as an example of an admirable case of somebody who persisted in going to 150 investor pitches before being approved #and like. how many people do you know who have enough savings to schedule plan and attend 150 investor pitches? #how many people do you know who could set up even 12 through their connections? #where are those savings coming from? where are those investor pitch meetings coming from? those aren't easy to get!! #but none of this was ever mentioned it was just awesome that the guy kept trying I guess. #I have a sneaking suspicion that if I were to have dug deeper into some of the examples we were given that a lot of those #real life businesses probably started with a big big loan from somebody's parents #I was listening to the show you're wrong about which is a really good podcast and Michael Hobbs was like #anytime you see an article glorifying someone's financial success especially at a young age you should control F for 'parents' #because chances are you will probably see the word 'parents' somewhere next to the words 'million dollar loan' #anyway college is a scam. the community aspect was incredibly cool but I don't see why we as a culture need to only be able to access that #kind of community when we are paying a scam Institution a shitload of money for Educations that aren't helpful for the majority of us #if College was free then people could actually study things that are useful or fun for them #I took most of my courses just to fill out my major too. the point wasn't to learn it was to graduate. #and then it turned out that if you're disabled in the way i am it doesn't matter if you have a college degree! #but I'm sure miles would say I just need to pull myself up by my bootstraps. and that's why I'm glad his life got exploded 😌 #andi kept him around for his money - why else would he be there when no one even liked him?? #he was the bankroll #one time I swear to god we just had the guy from American Psycho just a real ass Patrick Bateman #it was wild watching that movie later and being like ???? I know this guy! #outside of the actual murder scenes everything in that movie is not exaggerated in the slightest those bitches really are like that #like my parents are not 1% level rich so there'd be no giant loans but they are rich. it'd be stupid to act like i didn't benefit from that

[bylertruther]

sometimes. people on here will say things where i know if i point-blank asked them "hey, do you like butches, femmes, and people that do not 'look' or 'act' queer?" they'll of course say yes duh. and i know if i asked them, "cool. do you think that an androgynous person or 'very gender nonconforming' (for lack of better phrasing) is more queer than someone that isn't?" they'll say no of course not.

but then you read the things they've said about how queer people present themselves, how they "should" present themselves once they've reached a fully realized state, and how it relates to gender and relationships and its like Hmmmmmmmmmm. i don't think you do like any of those three groups i mentioned actually if that's how you really feel on those issues lmao.

it's the same school of thought behind the perplexingly popular idea that because noah wears athleisure, he couldn't possibly be gay (before he came out, this was the common sentiment; and even now, people act like finn is more queer than noah, just because he "looks and acts" like it according to them). this idea that you have to look and act a certain way to be Actually Queer or Queer Enough, and if you don't, then that's because you've fallen victim to conforming or you just aren't as comfortable with your identity. (what? as if there's a single queer identity to begin with?)

that if you're a queer guy and you behave or look masculine, then you just haven't come out of your shell and accepted yourself or experimented enough. that if you're a queer woman and you're feminine, then the same applies, or you're not as queer as a butch woman, who does exhibit gender nonconformity, for example. and if you're butch or femme (+ other equivalents), or in a relationship with your counterpart, then you're perpetuating heteronormativity, as if that's even possible, and we all know that's so very, awfully, terribly Bad, you're a stain on the community, and you have issues you need to work out.

people don't have to look or act in a particular way to be acceptably queer enough. we don't all gravitate towards certain expressions of gender nonconformity or androgyny just because we're queer, and a failure to do that doesn't suggest that we're uncomfortable with ourselves and our identity. you can continue to be yourself as you were even after realizing you're queer. that's not impossible or a bad thing.

femmes and gay men that are masculine in any capacity are not traitors, confused, or less gay. some people are the way that they are, regardless of their sexuality. we don't all morph into the same person when we realize we're queer. that shouldn't be a difficult concept to understand? that's literally just... being a human and treating queer people as such.

those evil gay people who are in "masc/fem" relationships aren't perpetuating heteronormativity either. just because they exist outside of your realm of understanding, or have the kind of relationship that you wouldn't personally want for yourself, that doesn't mean that they aren't members of your community—which is the queer community, in case you forgot—and don't deserve respect, too.

like. it's just so demoralizing lmao. what's so hard to understand about accepting that people are all different and that just because we may belong to the same community, that doesn't mean that we are all the same and must fall in line? it's so tone-deaf, insulting, and just plain unrealistic. you may not mean it that way, but it is. that rhetoric just is.

feminine gay women exist. masculine gay men exist. sometimes they may experiment with their gender expression once realizing this, but they don't always and they don't have to to be considered queer. butch/fem relationships and other similar relationships are not imitations of heterosexuality, because they're fucking gay, and they do not adhere to traditional heterosexual roles, because, again, they're fucking gay.

your experiences and beliefs are not universal. gay people are not clones of each other. stop invalidating or speaking down on other queer people just because you can't relate to them personally. i know some people don't mean to insinuate these things, but you do. you are. constantly. and the people that fall in those categories you've deemed unacceptable and other, see it.

it's so... exhausting to face that in this space, which is supposed to be a respite from the physical world where that happens, too. and those actions, those beliefs that people share, they also bleed into the physical world and how you interact with other people in your community. it's not just little words that you write and have no meaning. it doesn't start and end with a fictional character. the things that you say matter and sometimes they're very troubling.

people who have been in those "fem/masc" relationships, or that identify with any kind of similar label, have not lived a life that's an imitation of heterosexuality, nor are they any less queer than you just because you haven't been in/participate in relationships like that.

#personally idk about you guys.... #but i LOVE getting invalidated irl and also online by fellow queer ppl just bc i don't 'look' or 'act' gay enough according to them 👍 #anyway. yes my feelings are hurt lmao. of course they are. sometimes people say things innocently and don't realize how it #comes across or what they're implying. it happens. i just wanted to offer a different perspective from someone that has been the #fem in gay relationships. bc quite frankly i don't like the idea that i have to be more androgynous or masculine to be a fully realized gay #nor do i like the idea that my relationships have been less than or would be bad representation if shown to an audience lmao. #same for my gay male friends that are also feminine. and same for my bi male friends that are more masculine. or the butch women i've #dated. i don't think any of them are any less queer or bad representation and i would never think that if they had just #experimented with androgyny then maybe they'd be an elevated version of themselves. #it sounds crazy but when you take those same words that ppl say and apply them to real people... that's what you're saying. #anywayyyyyyyyyy.......... i'll fuck off again

[meownotgood]

oh we're cooking. we're cooking alright. WE'RE GETTING THERE!!!!

don't have that much good stuff to share yet because it's really rough but here, have this.

#I knew once I got to the smut it would start flying off the page #the smut is very very rough though so lots of edits will be needed #I'm splitting my attention between adding more writing and editing what I already have #guys I... I feel like this... will be like 20k words before they've even fucked yet #I have a whole nother scene to add before they start going at it #and then I need to edit which will surely add a ton of words since what I have now is essentially no more than a rough outline #what.... what have I done #I set out to just write a bit and then it consistently turns into the longest thing I've ever written #WILL THIS FIC EVEN BE GOOD / ENTERTAINING ENOUGH TO JUSTIFY THE LONG WORD COUNT AND EXTENSIVE SMUT #I don't know...... nobody knows..... #I might write a bit more but I'm getting tired so it's bedtime soon yawn

[mememan93]

Life. man.

#I don't want to go back to college tomorrow. i don't even think i hate the school it's. #i think i hate what im studying. I'm so sick of it. I'm so sick of media and radio work. So so so sick. #i'm sick of journalism. i'm sick of hearing the word 'storytelling' or 'storytellers' in sick of dealing with media students. #some of the most vain assholes i've ever met. and i'm sick of watching my best friend become one. (an asshole). #I want to do something else but this is what i did in high school this is what im good at. but i don't know if i can do this for the rest o #my life. but im too dumb to do anything else. I want to try compsci. i want to learn coding. but i have no background experience. #i could be an IT guy. i want to learn how to build computers and stuff. but i'm not smart enough. #i screwed myself over in high school by taking media. why did i do that?? #i should've taken compsci. or law. or SOMETHING. #i liked what i'm doing but now im just so fucking sick of it #if i hear someone say 'radio professionals are storytellers' one more time im gonna bash my head into a wall #of course talking to my dad is no help. i don't even know why i bother anymore. #raven croaks

[kai-sunflower]

can I just talk about how sweet and awesome the tsp fandom is

#🌻.talks #y'all are the most welcoming fandom I've ever seen its so wholesome here #you guys are so good at drawing and everything it makes me so GRGGAGAHH and makes me wanna dRAW more yk #my narrator design is coming soon yall ⁉️⁉️ #you all seem so fun to talk to but my ahh is too sHY I DON'T KNOW HOW TO SOCIALLY INTERACT #HELLO #I am projecting 30% of my feelings on this one post #70% of it is about to explode but its ok I have duct tape #you guys are so kind and nice and jrjsiiwkwmw wnnnwnsn #I do not have enough words in my vocabulary to get it right #tsp #the stanley parable #the stanley parable ultra deluxe #tspud #spud #sp #I am holding back right now *clutches chest*

[taegularities]

being here has never felt this suffocating.. it feels impossible sometimes to continue

#i wish you'd talked to me about it instead of making a post with screenshots #because that was nothing i did intentionally... i didn't wake up thinking 'i will be racists today' it was a mistake i'm not proud of #i meant my apology and i said i understand when people are offended and that i'm sorry #i know it was wrong and i'm ready to learn from it to not hurt people anymore and idk why it warrants calling me a full racist #and i don't know how you saw that ask bc it was days (or yesterday? idk anymore) ago and you blocked me weeks (months?) ago #you'd have to actively seek that ask out or look through my posts if im blocked for you #and if it wasn't you but someone else who pointed it out for you idk how you guys got to the point of scanning my blog #if i ever hurt anyone im ALWAYS open to talking about it. i remember once using a word wrong and someone pointed it out on anon #and I've never used that word ever since #i would've immediately apologised and deleted that bit too if you'd texted me just one sentence a la 'hey that's so not okay' #and you did the same thing when i went alway last time... never communicating but going against me while so many others reached out to me #if i didn't see anything wrong about this thing now i wouldn't have made that post. im not scared of disagreeing with ppl #and i don't know what you want me to do? i didn't even know M when their thing happened and still felt bad for them.. me or those who are #defending me didn't go against M... how would you think it's the same people? idk man #idk.. i can apologise a 100 times and it won't be okay. and if i don't say anything im dodging the topic it'll never be enough no matter #what i do #reach out to me jords tell me what i can do bc i did NOT mean to ever hurt anyone and im so freaking sorry that i did #<— this msg especially to those who were directly hurt #idk what to do so you stop posting so many screenshots #if you want ppl to stop supporting me then...yeah idk guys stop supporting me — unfollow me it's absolutely okay bc i know that was #uneducated af of me #to all sweet ppl who reached out thank you i see your messages #i'll see all those that'll come too.. i just wont answer so no one drags y'all #thank you that's it #go ahead and screenshot this too. i can't do anything else anymore #also.. the only parts i edited in my apology were 'i didn't mention japanese' and 'i dont feel superior' which i did after waking up cos #my post was made at 5am after randomly waking up during the night #edit: stop sending my friends asks saying i deserved this. i never told anyone to defend me.. they CHOSE it and they're allowed to #that's it... thank you guys and ily #ill brb. not too long just a bit

[non-un-topo]

Went to a support group specifically for FTMs last night and had a good time. Surprised myself by tearing up. That's not a very cis sign, is it

#denial is an oppressive power #i know what i am lol. and still. #i've got a lot of internalized transphobia that i wasn't completely aware i had. not brave enough to air it out in the group #for fear of saying something 'bad'. everyone else seems to have it figured out already. most are on T. #i just don't want the group to sort of influence me in one direction. #< a ha. internalized transphobia. also i don't think i need their help in that department. i'm already mentally there. just blocking myself #a research project i'm doing atm is really bringing these feelings to the front. #how am i 26 and living far away from my parents and i'm STILL like 'i can't disappoint my mommy' #i know the answer. family baggage and high expectations etc. snore. #someone in the group kept telling me 'you don't have to go on T just because everyone else is doing it' and like........................... #idk if i found most of their thoughts to be very helpful. they just kind of liked to talk and were clearly struggling with insecurities. #but i had to fight that urge to be defensive. that is not how i feel and that is not what's even happening. #this person had a problem with putting words into people's mouths. don't do that in a support group lol #but other than that they were fine and everyone was super nice. it helped to talk to an older trans guy. #i'll say it again. if i wasn't fucking 5 foot 2 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fuck!!!!!!!!!!!!

[cursedfortune]

sorry i haven’t been around. i’m not ignoring anyone, i just haven’t had the capacity to engage how i want to both ic and ooc. i try to be mindful so i minimize unintentionally doing any harm. i know this message probably isn’t all that different from the last one, or the one before that. but even if it’s repetitive, i feel like there’s value in the reminder and update.

the last thing i want is any friends or mutuals feeling negatively or like they’ve done something wrong. i’ve been trying to deal with my personal affairs and depression being what it is as of late. on top of that there have been some things occurring with others that aren’t exactly pleasant and haven’t been making me eager to write.

even with these repetitive messages i try to communicate where i’m at even if little has changed or gotten better or worse. the communication is what matters to me at the end of the day and i know it matters to some of you to have an update of some kind. i appreciate the patience and effort shown even if i’ve been burned out and quiet. a lot of my energy has been going to try and fix my personal affairs and ward off my own asshole brain. i very much appreciate those of you who understand how taxing that can be and have been considerate of me. i hope what little things i have been able to do ic or ooc or just this message here has been enough as of late.

be well, stay safe. and thanks. <3 i’ll be trying to pop in and out on smaller stuff and might have something else in mind soon to try and help. :)

#ooc #you guys are great. i appreciate you all. thank you for checking in on me in between my updates #you're all enough. i appreciate your effort to make me feel like enough because i really feel like i'm not because of things rn #please take care of yourselves and be good to yourselves. <3 #sorry this is rambly and ??? lmao i don't have energy for good words sgdhgfg

[l48yr1nth]

Hi. Just wanted to say I really like your art. The way you use shapes is truly amazing and I love every art piece that comes up on my dash. :).

I AM. GOING. TO CRY.!

thank you and i love you and ur awesome and . i love you. :) :) :3

#labyanswering #incoming. incomprehensible ramblings #i seriously cannot say enough how much this rocks to read #i teared up a bit. maybe a sniffle #but i didn't tell you that #you. grab my heart and squeezed it a little #had to sit and take a breath for a second after reading and processing this ask #GRABS YOU #SHAKES YOU VIOLENTLY #DONT BE SO SWEET IN MY INBOX ! IM SHORT CIRCUITING AND OVERHEATING AND MALFUNCTIONING!!! #kisses u gently on the head /p #u are too sweet to me. #im going to. EXPLODE. ALL OVER. EVERYWHERE!!!!!!!!!!!! #if you ever talk to me again i will GET YOU #very very happy. veryVERY. happy. #have not been having the greatest of times (relatively) lately. u are why i keep going #i have like been struggling to keep up with my own blog lately and like. tears up a little. #i don't do art for validation but i'm NOT the social-est person so uploading and interacting is a bit of a difference from my usual self;; #and hearing that like. u guys like my stuff so much is my main (like 99%) motivation for continuing to draw and post #also this community rocks! i've made so many friends with similar interests!! I GET TO KNOW SO MANY AWESOME FUCKING ARTISTS!! #PEOPLE I FOR REAL LOOK UP TO IN TERMS OF ART TALK AND DRAW WITH ME!! #AND PEOPLE MIGHT LOOK UP TO ME AS WELL! #AND PEOPLE LIKE WHAT I MAKE! #AND I CAN SEE SO MANY THINGS OTHER PEOPLE MAKE! #THAT I LIKE SO MUCH! #im rambling so hard im sorry #but like i can't put it into words #properly at least #i may not know exactly who you are but i need you to know that i think ur awesome! u rock! #ok im up an hour past when i usually go to bed i have to GO. BYE.

[emometalhead]

I'm seeing Fall Out Boy again tomorrow 😭😭😭

#guys there are not enough words to describe how happy I am #I'm trying to make today fly by because I am so hyped for tomorrow #I painted my nails. I made themed earrings. I have 45 bracelets ready to trade/give away. #I'm so ready #except not ready at all #I'm going to sob so hard lol #let's hope I don't forget words again #last time I legit couldn't remember the opening line to Sugar 💀 #I was so nervous and in awe lol #might be worse this time since I'll be on the floor #ashley rambles

[welcometogrouchland]

I think the disconnect between canon Belos and (a certain genre of) fanon Belos is that in canon he is pathetic (in the dramatic sense) not sympathetic.

#ramblings of a lunatic #like that's the thing he's a tragic character in a sense but he's pitiable in the dramatic sense more than anything else #you pity his codependency and his hypocrisy and his refusal to ever change and his borderline stupidity #(like I get it he's good at machines and hes good at manipulating ppl! but his plans are also kinda stupid and that's on purpose) #(he is a conservative he is charismatic not machiavellian) #but you fully understand that his refusal to ever grow or learn (which is the crux of his. Everything) is his fault #i don't know man I'm just kinda over the fandom conversations around Belos after watching and dreaming #even if it wasn't my first choice or instinct I've made the effort to understand why the writers did his ending the way they did #and i see their pov and I've decided actually. yeah i can see how that works #bc fundamentally while a very important character philip has never been the crux of this story #it has always always been Luz King and Eda. and the amount of ppl who are. deeply pissy about that fact #idk man i don't consider myself like. knowledgeable and conscious enough to accurately identify white bias in fandom #and I'm fully aware that fandom is not praxis and it's generally shitty to insist ppl spend more or less time on certain aspects of media #as if fandom is about filling quotas for HR #but also i can't ignore the fuckin. itchy feeling that ppl really took this man at his word when his main character trait is being A Liar #all bc he's a white guy with long hair #he's cool! i like him! especially now that i remembered the vocabulary featured in this post! i have words to describe my feelings on him! #and also none of this matters bc He Is Not Real and the toh writers are not sniffling and sobbing rn bc some ppl think they did belos dirty #i just have ''opinionated on characters'' disease #and my opinion of philip is that he's a great villain #but ppl willfully ignore WHY he's a great villain (He Is An Interesting Depiction of a Religious Conservative) #in order to invent different and more traditionally sympathetic reasons why he's great (he's just afraid and alone and he feels bad and he) #(you get it) #okay. I'm done #Do Not Read The Fucking Tags

[ratgirlcopia]

makes a 3-hour long hbomberguy-style video that's just me trying to trace the origins of the statement that copia's favorite drink is evaporated milk.

#copiaposting #i shan't do this. but imagine. #i know the wiki is full of garbage and generally uncited so it's less about finding a source where the evaporated milk thing exists— #and more about finding out who first said it existed. #there are a lot of random unprovoked bits that tf has dropped across interviews. maybe this is one of them. but i can't prove that. #unless of course i was to go through systematically cataloguing every interview he's done in the last five years. #at some point in my life i'm sure i'll be bored enough to do that. but even then i don't expect to find proof of evaporated milk. #like. i saw in real time after brisbane how easy misinformation spreads around here lol. #posts with HUNDREDS of notes and no footage links going around saying copia was talking about feeling sick and frail. #and then you watch the footage (that you have to dig up yourself) and he's complaining about the HEAT WAVE. oh my god. #online community that loves nothing more than dramatically misinterpreting every word out of that guy's mouth.