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unclejuho · 5 years

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sf9 in london event + concert experience ☽༓･*˚⁺‧͙

this is my 5k essay on what happened 190512 // enjoy reading!!!

so i got to the venue at 11pm the night before bc i was so stressed by the other concerts (ppl at la started lining up at 6pm??) i really wanted to be near the front since im coming all way from the netherlands anyways i better go big or go home!!!! so like i waited there for an hour amongst other fans who were still waiting from a diff concert and when they left other fantasy arrived so we started queueing up. i rlly have to thank sf9 uk casue they were so nice to me and they kept letting me use their hotel next door to let me go to the bathroom and change ♥️

i ended up getting nr1 (or nr21 ig isbdhs) so!!!! we did it LMAO succesfully got a good spot even though my feet and butt were dead by the time anything even happened,, its so hard to wait for 16+ hours to go to a concert but its sf9 so who cares about health 🤡 we didnt get knifed and a lot of ppl came up to ask who the fuck we were waiting for hdbshsh it was so funny

so i started handing out my juho stuff ofc and ppl seemed to like it!!! so im glad haha eventually even i didnt have any anymore so i was happy ppl liked it!

skip to like 1pm which is when the members arrived at the venue, i was a lil late noticing cus i was waiting for those signed narcissus albums but i ran to the front anyways n saw youngbin chani tae leave the van (like what they posted in the travel preview) so that was!!!!! jdbdbsb they were so unbothered it was so cute so i went to get my albums and came back to line (i got all hwiyoung pcs oshshah)

also there were so many other fans handing out fanmades it was so sweet the entire atmosphere was fantastic bc everyone was nice to eachother, rlly everyone i talked to was super sweet!!! also so many fansites with slogans or fans so i went broke once more but it was all worth it theyre so pretty...

at like 4.30 was the special event which lmao i rlly was so tired and i got sooo nervous i had my already signed fanfare from mwave bc if ure gonna sign any album it should be fanfare (looking at ALL the ppl that gave them narcissus) sooo us 20 were led upstairs to some sort of bar area and they had a long table w water bottles so we had to wait a lil while the staff checked our signed items if they were ok and then we had to form a line to wait (they were late) i met another dutchie so that was nice hdhshsh

finally the members walk out and im shaking bc baek ju is the first to enter the room!!! he was wearing that leopard sweater and i didnt even hate his mullet seeing it upclose...

jae was wearing that stupid unbottoned shirt skbssbsb and he came in giving ALL the fanservice like him and inseong were here for the entire thing osbdbsb the other members just sat down and sociaized with eachother like yb kept being adorable and pulling faces at the table it was everything and i couldnt see rowoon bc ppl were standing in front of him but i was!!!! shaking already bc whos idea was it to start off this event with fucking rowoon lmao is like immediate heart attack! ju was last which was oof...

so i had like ideas of what i wanted to talk abt w each members but lmao??? i didnt talk abt any of it to any member my mind was so shook...

first up was rowoon and he just hdhshsh???? the eye contact of this man and just seeing him upclose was so intense tf he rlly was.. so gorgeous n bc of his hair up his eyes looked even bigger n shimmered and the pics rlly dont do him justice... so the first thing i said was wow so handsome bc why not.. i was gagged indeed hdbdbsb he said like woooow our debut album and you already have it signed oabdbs i didnt explain the entire mwave thing bc wud he understand haha but he opened n he saw the pic of himself hes like what do u like better me now or me here??? me being myself im like fanfare bc ur hair down is so cute oahdhshs i rlly not a narcissus hag anyways but fanfare was best rowoon as always... so rowoon did his sign and i asked him to do sky castle impersonation he didnt understand so i just repeated sky castle he was like ah the voice thing im like yes cha minhyuk isbdbsh so he did the fucking thing and i was dying lmao great to have seen it in the flesh ofc...

after rowoon was taeyang and taeyang!!!! was so hyper and attentive like hdnsb whenever u see him in vids hes usually very casual but he was soooo sweet and he too was like ahhh fanfare he took a while to say but he said his heart was still in there hdhdhsh so i was 🤧🤧 i just asked tae if he was doing okay or if he wasnt feeling tired and he said he was doing great bc i was there im like dying hdhshsh so i said yah me too!!!!

jae was after taeyang n jae was jdhshshs soooo into it i know korean fans say ppl change biases to jae after meeting him and i have to say i can see why!!! i didnt rlly know what to say to jae beforehand but he said oooo i really love london and im like haha i dont like it here im like im from the netherlands so he was shocked he said thank you for coming to travel here and he held my hand isbdbsbsb

next was inseong and... the eye contact level was sooo severe he rlly threw all into it hes like hi thank you for coming so much so i was wearing this shirt w a 🥩 on it and im like inseong do u like my shirt bc i know u love meat iahdhahsh so he was laughing n said yea wow this is my favorite shirt oshdhshs rlly had me going LOL he asked if it was my first time seeing them im like yea but im going to korea in the summer tho oshdhshs he said that was great n asked how long i was staying for,,, so im like im going a month so he asked why i was going so long im like im going for u!!! hdbshsb he gave me some hearts and i moved on ndhsbsab

so chani was next up and he looked so shy,,,, im sad bc i forgot to say everything i wanted to say to him at the beginning and i was just like chaniiiiiii and he laughed and signed my album before i went i quickly pushed in a URE MY FAVE DANCER n he highfived me hdhsbs

so youngbin was next and i... lmao... i was weak haha he just read my name hes like hiiiii gia im here being depressed saying HI YOUNGBIN I LOVE U SM thank u sm for everything u do for us and i shit u not my eyes like tearing up oshdbsbs yb asking me how im feeling im like YEA GREAT tears in my eyes oabdbs i rly couldnt speak otherwise id actually have them roll down my face so i just nodded and moved on iabsbs

hwiyoung im so sorry... i was still emo from yb and i even forgot to say happy birthday like pls hit me... hwi cheered for the fanfare album and im like yess hwi i love ur hair here i love the blonde;; hwi thanked me for coming

next up was dawon and jdbsbs i came in saying hi fantasy president so he said yeeee fantasyyyyy and hes an unbothered legend oabbdhssbn he signed quickly and within a minute i was away again jdhdhs

so juho.. my god oshdhshwh hes so:((( pretty let me breathe liek... i came there im like juho i love u oahdhshsh hes just nodding his way going to sign my album and he drawing that heart stickman so im like i have a question can u draw— hes like this is my signature drawing LUCKILY i drew the jucasso next to my name so im like pointing at it being like lmao boy we dont want this heart flop bdhdhsh so he quickly drew it and i said i hope u feel better soon and i was off again,,, rlly dawon and juhos signing went so quick...

so we moved on to the pictures and they were grabbing the chairs and ju was standing all way back at first but then no members went to sit on the chairs oahdhs so JUHO THE MAN WENT FOR THE SEAT NEXT TO THE MIDDLE HDHSHSH and hwi on the other side and jae behind so im blessed like juho... he rlly did it... hdhshsh i quickly go to grab one of my banners bc im like bitch i gotta fucking rep for it now otherwise i wudnt know a pose anyways oahdhshs so i quickly took off my glasses as well

so its my turn im going up and sitting down and like handing this banner to ju and hes like ???? oh???? he quickly reads it n was impressed hdbsb so there was one pic and tae was sitting next to ju and wanted to read what was on the banner so he turned to us but then we had to take another pic so he had to turn back quickly again oahdhshsh and then i had to go again but as i walked away ju was explaining to the members what was on my banner so i :((((

after everyones picture was taken they said goodbye and waved and inseong stayed behind a lil to joke abt drinking beer (i rlly hate him but also me?) and then they left and we got our merch bags n went back downstairs

so i quickly ran over to my bestie to tell her abt it before realizing we had to line up to go inside for the concert so i was like stressed running away i rlly almost lost my first spot LOL but we were let inside the venue i had like 50 bags but i ran to the front and BLESS IT there was like tiny space left at the left side which is were i wanted to be bc juwoon!!!!!! so i rly did get barrier thank god i could put down all my bags as well and the fantasy next to me were great as well!!!!

// i’ll add the concert later as im tired rn and this is already 5k osjbhdbhjas

#sf9 concert #thsi is sooo long wtf #hate this oashjbdbajsd

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praesidiumsystem-blog · 5 years

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27 & first half of 28 aug. 2019

👾 I had extremely bad nightmares the night of the 26th and woke up feeling extremely unsafe and distressed and was like that for a while... We were supposed to get up early and go get my phone but Mason didn’t get us up in enough time for us to not have to rush so I went back to sleep and boy did I regret it...

I didn’t eat like literally the entire day, I had like 1 bottle of mango pepsi and died the rest of the day in bed, I didn’t feel safe or comf doin like Anything...I called the pharmacy too so many times and they never picked up, which was really frustrating...

Libra bought us fresh mochi at some point but I didn’t know they were in the fridge so they got really hard and stale and that was disappointing...

Good stuff about the 27th tho:

Koda was really sweet and gentle with me all day... I mean dae always is but like, you know. Dae stitched me a very cute “I love you” in class and I couldn’t express it very well but it meant a lot to me and made me smile and feel good.

I drew us (me & Koda) together to cope and Im actually really happy with how it turned out, it was really warm and cozy and I felt warm and cozy because Koda makes me feel safe and I’m extremely gay. Z loves Koda so much

Talked with Koda about all our weird ways of kissing and reminded daem that we really really really love their body even though they don’t like it at all, dae seemed into our silly kisses and relieved about the body thing and that makes me glad... Their body is so cute though and handsome and we love that its soft and we just want to give them a warm snug with our whole self and help them feel safe and good in it, we love to see them so much and we cannot wait to tattoo kisses all over their whole body and just squish them gayly to death, we love their shape so much [insert 26 full-page heart emoji memes]. Mostly me because I’m the hypergay touchy affection demon but. All.

Mason brought me food after work and I felt a lot better after food and meds!! Mason is always ready to help and it always does help, though I dont feel like I appreciate au often enough or properly...

I got to lay with Koda and have a lot of nonsexual (and later sexual) intimacy and that makes me feel the most safe ever and Ill remember it always because I cherish every moment I get to be with everyone in their system and I remember all the times we’ve been together and I think about everyone all day and I am just so full of love and joy for all of them I don’t know how to explain it properly in words.

Then I didn’t sleep overnight because nightmare-fear mania and was overstimulated to hell and death the first half of the day on the 28th, looking through our pics on our pc tho I came across the socks I got for Soda and got SO fucking gay about Soda I was died so it pushed me into a Ritsu shift, which would have been good but I was like extremely nauseated and hazy and half asleep on the bus home and as soon as I got in I knocked the fuck out. I felt really guilty because Koda was having a huge meltdown by that time from overstim and I felt like a bastard because I couldnt focus and couldn’t help properly... but

got our new phone for a good deal, a good price every month, and a good reasonably priced data plan, and went ahead and got a case for it for safety, the phone itself comes with a 1 year factory warranty and I went ahead and got a warranty through the phone service too because I like to be safe! mason was really chill about everything and i was extremely grateful because i was like genuinely not human during any of the time we were out of the house and au was really understanding about me needing to go home because i was about to throw up, die, or both... au bought me a passionfruit green tea with pearls and it helped So Much prevent me from vomiting because boy I was feeling it

i was able to get ahold of the pharmacy!! it was obnoxious again and fsr we cant get them filled until monday even tho we run out on that thursday and griffin can only come on the weekend... we’ll have to ration them for a few days but we’ll work it out somehow im sure, a day or two wont kill us...

after I went to sleep in the afternoon I actually slept really good and had a really good nap and woke up pretty refreshed and luckily it was early enough that we could still get out of the house to do the rest of the things I was too dead to do in the first half of the day

I personally got to pick out the wood and supplies for Enoch’s shrine and that made me SO unbelievably happy... My man finally going to have the shrine he deserves... We also got some fabric and thread and weighted beads to make a crwly & baracc pillow & also grey and teal ones for Allegra & Cipher, everyone’s really excited to make things... especially Hannah, who comes alive when we enter any kind of craft store like we’ve used a magic summoning circle where all of the points are cute notebooks and art supplies

Then I dipped out because Toby got hella stoked for froyo!

#[zephyr]#[journal]

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