#I appreciate you guys but I firmly believe that Ted should never punch Rupert

[kalinara]

I’ve said before that one of the things I love about Ted Lasso, the show, is that Rebecca’s domineering tendencies are never portrayed as something she needs to “fix”.

Relating to that, I also love that Ted’s general lack of aggression and rejection of a lot of traditional masculine tropes is not portrayed as something he needs to fix either.

In episode two, Ted happily says he’d rather be a panda than a lion.  Even after Rebecca’s compelling arguments about the lion’s majesty and rule of the jungle.  (Okay, admittedly, he does ask about being an elephant.  But an elephant is not known for being an aggressive animal either.  And when reminded that the choice is between panda and lion, he again, happily, says panda.)

Keeley revisits that bit in the second season finale when she tells Rebecca that she “taught this panda how to be a lion”.  And it’s a deep and meaningful scene.  It’s exactly right for Keeley, who has found empowerment and enrichment in her new success.

I think that instinctively, on some level, the audience wants to see men be lions.  It’s why we get a lot of “Ted should punch James Tartt/Rupert/Nate” or “Ted should be angry/jealous at Rebecca for her relationship choices”

And no.  He’s not.  He may or may not feel some wistful discomfort when Rebecca talks about her affair with Sam (I’ll agree that his expression in that scene is ambiguous), but he’s supportive.  Just like he was supportive of John (STAMOS?!) or any other relationship she has.

Don’t get me wrong, I think the show is telling us that Ted would be a lot healthier if he stopped trying to keep it all in.  But plenty of people are able to express their anger, pain, sorrow in ways that aren’t innately aggressive.

Let Ted cry on someone’s shoulder, damnit.

But anyway, Ted is not a lion.  And the fact that he isn’t a lion gets results in the people who are lions.  Rebecca starts to lower her walls.  Jamie starts to get more comfortable around the team.  Roy is more engaged.

He also inspires the people who are pandas.  Keeley’s a lion now, but would she have reached out to Rebecca in the first place had Ted not helped her see Rebecca someone who could help rather than someone scary?  And even the players that he doesn’t help directly, he helps by fostering a stronger and healthier relationship in the team as a whole.  If we’re talking stereotypes, then he’s Team Mom rather than Team Dad.  And it actually works!  The team is better for him.

(It probably helps that he can outsource both the football knowledge and the machismo.  There’s a place for traditionally masculine displays.  They just don’t have to come from Ted himself.)

Anyway, Ted doesn’t need to get tougher or to get angrier, more manly if you will.  What he really needs to do is be kinder to himself.  

And continue to enjoy being a panda.

#ted lasso #theodore lasso #I appreciate you guys but I firmly believe that Ted should never punch Rupert #And I'll die on that hill #(Now REBECCA can punch Rupert all she wants and I'll be very proud of her.)