#I am so intensely curious

[lukeskqwalker]

If the ride or die doesn't have a romance (like sten or varric or cole for example), still use them to cast your vote.

#I am so intensely curious #da #dragon age #mine is zevran #but I know there are SO MANY good ones #am NOT gonna flood the individual tags of characters so this. might stay small. but I'm still curious! #my post #<- so I can watch the progress

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

examining your relationship with your art can be fun

but watch out

#examine too hard and you'll have a crisis #or *another crisis if you're like me #sometimes yeah i think about it too hard and then i get the intense prey instinct #to chuck my tablet into a field and then take off sprinting in the other direction #though i know id just come creeping back like a cautious but curious deer. get a little closer. run away #closer. jump back. poke the tablet and run away. come back and poke it again. #its the 'what am i doing? am i doing what i want to do? am i enjoying this? is it hurting me?' #will admit i have these thoughts every other day #ill have like a good bit of fully enjoying art & what im scribbling #and then suddenly ill wake up the next day and its terrifying and Too Much and huh??? HUH??? #i want to draw but im so so scared <3 but im being sooooo brave about it <3 #anyway i think we should all destroy our electronics and run screaming into the woods #OH MY GOD SOON I CAN DO THAT. #not the electronics - i mean the running into the woods part #oh im so excited. when its all too much i can just walk in nature with no one around #that Will fix me! for sure! #when the Art Fear™️ comes back i can just... go away for a few hours and touch some motherfucking grass #AND MAYBE FORAGE SOME CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. I AM DYING TO HARVEST WILD CHICKEN OF THE WOODS. #LITERALLY HAS BEEN A LIFE GOAL FOR YEARS NOW #when the Art Fear™️ creeps in i can get some big chickeney mushrooms and cook em up. refresh my soul.... #absolutely unprompted #but yeah sometimes i wonder if im drawing for myself or others. like drawing for others is fine but... i think there's a fine line #am i balancing it? am i Indulging enough? am i doing what i want to do enough??? #are my people-pleaser tendencies consuming me again? am i feeling Pressure? hm. yeah its crisis time #am i living how i want. am i enjoying how i want. am i interacting with welcome home the way i want to. #i think im going to go do the dishes....

[dykefaggotry]

when cis men complain abt being sick more often they're onto smth bc I have the unique experience of being sick pre and post testosterone and there's just Something about being sick w testosterone in ur system that makes u want to complain to everyone in a 20 mile radius, cry, and get babied endlessly even if it's just a cold

still not as bad as a period though

#like listen I get why they're so dramatic now..... #I was so done at work today several people asked if I was okay and I was just 🫠 #to be fair I've always been loud abt being sick but pre t as a kid it was bc I was getting out of school #so I was 10000% exaggerating #I am no longer exaggerating I want to be shot like a deer rn #also now I'm curious abt the reason for this and if trans women on hrt experience Less intense illness #like that has to be trippy if so

[little-smartass]

#I am curious #as I am coming to realise I have an incredibly intense internal clock #I can always make a pretty accurate guess at the time #if I set an alarm my brain will wake me up exactly an hour before the alarm WITHOUT FAIL #and it kind of drives me slightly insane when people around me just. don't seem to notice the time. #so I wish to know from the public: how does your brain feel about time? mine's fucking obsessed!!! #poll

[keepthetension]

still thinking about grief and recovery and support on this show because oh boy did the shows airing this weekend put me in my dead parent feelings i said before i was concerned about how porjai is dealing with her own grief, and this episode we saw her easily talking about rung, and even casually yelling to rung that she misses her! maybe this is me projecting, because i can't do that, but this seems like a pretty healthy place to be, especially contrasted with mhok's relative silence, and i'm glad!

and mhok's silence doesn't come from anger or resentment (which are valid ofc, but i did wonder if imprisonment gave him time to work through this to some degree) but out of protectiveness. i fucking loved this, because it felt so realistic and lived-in. i lost a parent to intimate partner violence, and i NEVER open up about it; people sure have Opinions, and it makes me insane

but day finding out about rung offscreen wasn't on my bingo card, tbh. because we've been with mhok through everything he's found out about day

it doesn't bother me, exactly, but it feels slightly unbalanced, and i suppose what i'm thinking is: knowing what happened to someone doesn't actually tell you how they feel about it, or how it affects them, or how you can support them

mhok found out from that lady sharing personal medical info she had no business sharing about day losing his eyesight in the accident, but he put in the work to understand what it actually meant for day. and in most cases, we've seen day telling mhok about what troubles him in his own words (his crush on auggy, why he was avoiding his friends, etc)

bereavement is probably statistically more common, so i suppose it may not need to be spelled out for an audience? but i am wary, because there have been so many shows where characters are visibly — to me! — struggling with grief and everything else matryoshka-ed in it, but audience reaction simply doesn't factor this in

i'm also thinking about how often mhok tells day a story about himself with the intent of making him smile ("i bought two bracelets just because i had money to spend" "i found this rooftop when i needed to sober up" "my sister called this false rice". i'm certain there are more!). because this is what a caretaker does, or because this is what mhok does, or both?

because this always made me wonder what it would take for mhok to talk about something that wouldn't make day smile, or because he wanted to share. in the former case, it'd have to be something pretty bad!

of course, talking isn't the only way to recovery or intimacy. and mhok going from "i'm breaking up with my devoted gf because i don't want to drag her down with me" to "i'm going to ask you to be my bf" is pretty significant!

but as they navigate the journey from being caretaker and client to being boyfies, the balance has to shift around a bit to them supporting each other, consciously choosing to be there for each other

in this episode what we got was: you only want money to buy that car. and i'm not even mad about this, because this kind of comment is very in line with day's character. but wow. day, i know you're feeling big feelings, but throwing one of the few things you know about mhok's life in his face is. not it!

#last twilight the series #i know this is a “trustworthy” director. and i will happily eat my words! but #it's always bothered me when couples fall into this pattern of ONE person doing the bulk of the supporting and caring and accommodating #and i am HOPING WISHING PRAYING this show doesn't do the same you know? #also like the imbalance makes sense if they're only caretaker and client of course! i'm just SO curious how this will be addressed #thinking a lot lately about characters society puts into a certain box because social status or because they're Manly or Tough or some shit #and there isn't a space for them to be soft and goofy and playful and tender. and people assume they don't need to be cared for #ten from cooking crush and babe from pit babe and top from only friends. for example. #and “there's zero tenderness in you” mhok #and i desperately want to see these characters get to be more than they're “allowed” to be #patriarchy is a curse #oh also i suspect mhok's “healing journey” will come to a head once he buys the car or whatever ends up happening there #ALSO GOD how many people would move the fuck out of that house afterward IF THEY HAVE THE MONEY TO DO SO #and maybe it doesn't feel like this for mhok and porjai but living in the same place afterward can be intensely suffocating #but they can't just move and start over like moneyed individuals might be able to! #recovery and healing simply looks different for the rich #anyway next ep will probably foreground mhok caring for day. and there are not many eps left!! i am wary but still fairly optimistic

[lesbianjonimitchell]

#fiona apple #im on the fence myself. its been the idler wheel for a long time but i listen to when the pawn more and more #i love the intensity on wtp but also nothing beats the valentine/jonathan/left alone trifecta #anyways. pls respond i am curious #fiona apple i love you so much

[martyrbat]

its the holiday season so mutuals tell me what you want. im nosy, i want to hear things you're asking for AND things you wont ask for but you still secretly want

#im someone who... doesn't look around. like in a store I don't. i dont online shop browse because i just cant afford it ever #so anytime this season comes around its both (1) i know we cant afford anything so i largely ignore it and (2) i just. literally don't look. #like ik it sounds so strange but im someone who'll rather swallow my tongue than ask for anything and i feel intense guilt spending money #and again. dumpster dive and steal food on the regular. so i just never look or even think about it #but im so curious on different things people want or look at! #(& absolutely i am not using this as a rough idea list as im being asked what i want for xmas what gave you that idea??) #ransom note

[ketavinsky]

losing my shit rn over the new nightmare country particularly azazel communicating with the corinthian....... i was really really truly hoping that the new writers would comment on the fact that azazel is stored with the first corinthian and whereas i think it was pretty obvious from like. The Very Fucking Start of the comic that there was going to be some kind of bastardisation arc going on (the return of the all-white fit, the need to be seen, bro’s genuine delight at the premise of being worshipped as a god..........) i am so so so thrilled to finally see him make some concrete steps in the direction of being a complete fuckshit bastard again. like...... yeah... he remembers so clearly being at the cereal convention and being confronted for his ‘failure’ walking the waking world. he remembers the crushing novelty of that feeling, and how his first self was only able to process it as rage. he’s had time to reflect. he’s had time to recognise it as shame, and the significance of that. and yet what snags his attention is a couple. he allows himself to be distracted, and though he announces himself as an emissary who is acting under dream, as he is supposed to, he allows himself to want in front of an entity that is so clearly hostile. azazel doesn’t need to employ trickery to tempt the corinthian- he’s happy to indicate that he’s on the other side and that the second corinthian is undoubtedly defying dream by even hearing him out. but, even so, the memories...

#dellete #I AM SCREAMING..... BACK TO HOSTING TENS UPON THOUSANDS OF BRAINWORMS ABOUT THE CORINTHIAN #i mean i do love the corinthian. the guy of all time. so. did i ever leave #the fact that the couple that distracted him were just.... enjoying each other's company. just openly smiling at each other. #damn. crazy that azazel spent so long absorbing the first's experiences and then was like ohh yeah. THIS is what will really get to him. #this is what will let him know instantly that something is up #okay not trying to learn too heavily into ' weh weh corinthian just wants to be seen ' here #obviously my guy the apex predator has some innate sense for when some fucked up demonic shit is afoot #ANYWAYS #urrmghhhhhh #i may have missed this in this issue but seeing that azazel is free. thinking about the first corinthian skull #would be interesting if the first corinthian skull over time #absorbed some of azazel's traits namely his intense hatred for dream #it would be very interesting to see a corinthian that has been completely warped and severed from his desire to perform his duty well #a corinthian that is more demon than tool #that has no loyalty to his master and unbridled desire to fulfil his appetites #seeing as the corinthian's appetites are shaped by his purpose and his function i am #I AM SOOO CURIOUS #I AM SO CURIOUS #picture me hammering on the doors on the windows #TYNION IV DO NOT FUCK THIS UP FOR ME PERSONALLY PLEAAASE #anyways im also really sticking to being a first corinthian/azazel truther #sorry. my evil brotp. <3 and so forth #eye teeth nasty nasty creatures. i looove them #okay uhh if anyone has thoughts. on uhh. the corinthian. i would love to hear them. im dying rn #why does this read like a 2015 metapost.... i guess he brings that out in me #spoilers * #I love azazel

[littleragondin]

Started "The Miracle of Teddy Bear" for some light hearted fun. A teddy bear who turns into a human! A romance with his owner! Sounded really cute.

To say I wasn't expecting the creepy talking furnitures, Nut's mom and her apples, or the sudden murder investigation, is QUITE the understatement goodness gracious.

#and i'm not even halfway through episode 2 like???? #that's some intense stuffs right off the bat dears #the constant tone shift is a little jarring at time ngl #but I'm not hating it so far? I am both entertained and curious that's for sure #The Miracle of Teddy Bear

[moinsbienquekaworu]

Y'all don't need to know that but I found a very hot fic

#a little fascinated i want more authors to write that trope #god i wish real life were even half as hot as fanfic honestly #like i find all of the stuff i read about hot #there's genuinely. well a certain amount of stuff that turns me off (off off not just eh) but not that much honestly #not the conventional slightly kinky stuff. the stuff that makes me feel genuinely bad after reading it is like. #intense dehumanisation ? actual noncon where someone's not enjoying themselves on any level? #people being abused? #that's a pretty short list of shit i won't read #i'm nit kidding btw i can get through a scat fic with just a 'that was kinda nasty' #but intense dehumanisation will make me want to drink bleach #anyway. so fiction is full of stuff that's hot and fun and cool #but as soon as you start talking about real life? i'm outta here #i mean no i'm a curious person so yeah but when i think about sex actually happening and me being involved in it.... #suddenly it's real and it's less fun #a little jealous of characters who get to have extravagant intense reactions to pretty much whatever the author wants #i sure as fuck am not built like someone who gets weak in the knees when their partner pulls their hair or whatever #anyway. once again y'all don't need to know about that. good night. #wow i have a ramble tag now

[detectiveconnor]

MUSE DEVELOPMENT SCENARIO.

for all your muse development needs!

scenario.

your muse’s consciousness was (against their will) put into some sort of life simulator. their physical body is, and bodies of others with similar fates are, being used to power the simulator. your muse is living among other life-simulator captives and, occasionally, NPCs (genuinely, simulated consciousnesses), your muse is happy, supports their community, and their life is going well. then: somebody from ‘outside’ comes into the simulator to tell them explain it’s a simulation, “and to let everyone escape you and I, together, need to Turn Off this system, and it will be a long hard road to recovery in a physical and mental sense as everyone who was uploaded adapts to being in the real world again, and the NPCs who are in here, you’ll never see again”. for clarity, the definitive Only way to leave the simulator is for everyone who is ‘real’ to leave together. one person cannot leave on their own and others remain. for whatever reason, it is definitively, no holds barred, all or nothing.

questions.

would the ‘real’ness of the world (or not-realness of the life simulator) matter to them. would that be something they cared about, would it make any difference to them at all whether it was ‘real’?

Absolutely. There is no scenario, ever, where the ‘real’ness of the world he is living in does not matter to Connor. It would be the sort of thing he was vaguely aware of even without having been told - there would be something off about the world and he’d be constantly trying to put his finger on it, and constantly frustrated that he can’t seem to do so.

would they be reluctant to turn off the life simulator because of the NPCs they’d befriended, even with those NPCs being ‘not real’?

Reluctant? No. Would he think, I hope x is real? Yes, definitely. But even if he were in love with someone he believed wholeheartedly to be an NPC, real is real. Truth is his true north. He... It just... it just would be a parting of ways. There just isn’t any other option. He wants to surface, he wants to breathe, he wants the physical and real. He would not be happy, satisfied, or morally conscionable if he were to do anything other than to turn it off.

But he’d say goodbye first, I think. If he couldn’t find the time, then... well, he wouldn’t. He is not going to miss his opportunity because he’s sentimental. But if he gets a chance, he’ll try. He is always trying. (And oh, would he miss them.)

Does your muse think the NPCs should have a ‘right’ to continue existing on the bodies of the physical people in the life simulator? i’m just going to say LS from now on. The LS is only powered by physical people in the ‘real’ world. the NPCs cannot exist without using someone else’s body. do they have a ‘right’ to exist with someone else’s body like that?

Absolutely not.

Connor has had Amanda in his head. It’s parasitic. If she was ‘alive’, and he would argue to his death that she never was and never had even the beginnings of the hallmarks of it, she had no right to be living inside his head. It was unfortunate, but it was also his head. Same deal here: it’s unfortunate, but it’s also his body. Their bodies.

how comfortable would your muse be about making a decision on behalf of everyone uploaded to the LS, because it is a now-or-never, all-or-nothing sort of a moment. how do they make this decision?

It’s a decision that needs to be made in the moment, and no matter what he chooses not everyone is going to be happy with him for it. Connor would make the choice and not think much further beyond it. He also, and I cannot stress this enough, just simply and flatly would not live in a life simulator after he knew for sure that that’s what it was. He would literally rather be dead. If every single other physical person who lived in the simulator all collectively agreed that they wanted to continue living there he might turn it off anyway. It would be a serious consideration at the very least. The alternative is dying, and he’d have to decide which he’d rather do.

I very, very genuinely believe he’d turn it off anyway. That’s just what it is about Connor. Real is real. You can’t hide from that. They can hate him for the rest of his life but he simply, truly, just cannot sit back and tolerate... the Taking, the way they are, all of them, being taken from. (I think this is some misdirection, though the heart is still in it. But even if he did not know they were being Taken from, even on a - guess. Even on a very good guess. Even on a very good guess. Truth is his true north.)

does the fact that they’re happy right now and the fact that they’d not be happy/would have months or years of rehab in the ‘real’ world/etc play into their decision?

See above. He’ll take the rehab. He’ll take tripping up and coughing and re-learning to chew and hours of physio and years and years to get back into any semblance of normal in real life because he has been away from it for so long, and he will take every single inch of it with relief. More breath, more air, more steady. Yes, please. Give him real or bust.

would your muse prefer to have not been told at all that it was a simulation?

If someone knew, and they did not tell him, he might genuinely never speak to them again. In the ‘you have proven yourself to be a complete and utter waste of my time and energy, i have zero interest in engaging with you at any point in the future, goodbye forever’ sort of a way.

if a loved one/another muse who is also in the LS identified that it was “not right”, if another muse realised “this isn’t.... right. We need to leave. We have to... we have to go. No, leave them (the NPCs, family, friends), I want to leave now and I want you to come with me” style. if your muse’s loved one said, please leave with me, this does not feel like home, would their reaction be different?

I think....... if Connor was not the one to do this (and I think he would be), if someone else, someone he loves, brought it to him first, in this way?  he might be a little more afraid. For them, I think. ‘I trust them and there isn’t anything immediately to hand that I can do to Give them that’. it is, again, his .. he can’t... he won’t and doesn’t tolerate the Taking, and to think that he didn’t notice it? to think that he can only trust them and Give them what he has? he would be a little bit more afraid about it if it were someone that he loved, but I think that’s just because he cares about them. Not because the situation is any more or less scary.

would your muse be able to feel/sense/know that something WAS off about the LS before being told, and if so, how? would they notice glitches, would they notice people who don’t “feel” right, would they notice the way the sky swallows things instead of stretching on forever?

Yes he would. It’s who he is as a person, I don’t know what to tell you. The way the sky swallows, yes (see: the zen garden) but how it warps where it meets the horizon, how the birdsong always starts at exactly the same time for no reason, the way the shadows don’t move in a natural way, the way the stars don’t track, the way these little errors just seem.... wrong and he has this gut instinct that there’s something. Off. Which he can’t put his finger on, and it keeps slipping out from under him. God, that feeling of ‘I can’t get a grip on this’ is one of his least favourite feelings in the world and it would be, I think, the biggest red flag.

tagged by: i literally made it tagging: yeah i’m tagging what of it. @copadjacent​ @lighthouseborn​ but also do luke(?) @jericholeader​ @digitizedsouls​ for hank AND vick AND madison AND Echo AND Orion if you think he’d have something to say? @storminmywake​ @hvndredstories​ specifically for nikolai but also tell me anyone you also think about @lilxmcrtes​ for eira @normaltothemax​ this is something we’ve literally done WITH Riley already dgjdlfkgjdfklj but for Miles maybe? and the dash! if you’re interested in it please take it and @ me when you do it gosh i am so interested in this. this is my current Very Interested. thank you

#i added a Clarification at the top there we go #i'm just tagging everyone whose muses i am Intensely curious about right this immediate moment #but no pressure if you are just not vibing atm or if it's just not for you <3 it's just fun! #dash games #dash game #ps throw it under a readmore if you. want to it's. i just like all of it so here it is out loud #about connor #headcanon #suicide mention tw

[sheepwasfound]

feeling kind of empty, wish there was a clearer conclusion to things

#the absolute radio silence is just intense #i'm doing other stuff but i still often get reminded of all this y'know #then i check tumblr or twitter and Nothing is going on #never been like this before #i just wanna keep seeing how things end up i'm too curious to completely cut it all off #and i'm not sure where i stand morally either it's difficult #if this had happened like two months ago it would not have been so bad i had a lot of other stuff to focus on instead #now i am a bit uninterested in a lot of my interests i need something new probably #but i am also still unclear on the current situation too. i feel like i need to know more #but if i never know more thennn i will need to think about what i feel is right

[lhrry]

x

#tbh over years we’ve had SO many moments where we were like oh yeah so louis is bringing F up and they’re ramping it up again to end it #so so many times some of which are even more recent like the walls era #so i’ve been repeatedly saying that i’d like to think that’s what they’re doing now with the interviews #and i can guess a few scenarios as to how they’d go about it all now (although i did expect them to keep eleanor around at least for a #while after bbg ends so i’m really curious to see how they’re going to work with that one #+ what’s going to happen with it in general bc last time i checked she was still following him) #so i’m really keeping my expectations low because we literally have been there #but there is sth happening for sure and i want so desperately to think it’s good #the checkered outfits of HL that were complementary as well and we even predicted it are sending me #(also they seem really in tune with the fandom rn and idk if these are coincidences but it’s fun) #the way they’ve both been so happy especially since the time around Amsterdam:) is sending me as well #like they both have been glowing recently and louis wore blue sun and the postshow song was a thousand years today like???? ok you sap #and the interviews and pap pics were so weird and i still dont know whether i’m sold on it being only bc of the tickets #so anyway i do think sth is happening and i am sideeyeing the august 4 date a bit more intensely now skmsk #or well the 7s lately i have also been thinking about the 7s sksmsk #but it will be interesting to see what happens #(and whether anything at all #but i think it will at least in connection to E because that’s hardly a glitch) #and i really really am wishing hoping praying for the best despite having been in this situation so many times because #he deserves to start off lt2 promo with a clean slate so much

[neonun-au]

in other news, im trying to drag myself out of my major reading slump so i picked up some books and i started one of them but i think i picked the wrong one maybe fdhsfj im not really loving the writing style or the way he is delivering the expository information here at the beginning but it is a sort of....academic crime thriller of sorts which is a genre/concept i love love love, so im going to continue and just hope for the best. maybe once the plot picks up his writing will begin to flow more and itll be less of a nuisance to read

#i am cursed with being an intensely critical reader so its so hard for me to get sucked into a narrative if there is something i #in the writing itself that bugs me fjdas but i will push through #its not a huge book by any means #its just the last academic crime thriller i loved was the secret history and i LOVED that one so #a tough act to follow #n e way #the book is the maidens by alex michaelides if anyone was curious at all #mads.txt

[tenowls]

I love your mb art so much!! The family photo w Peri is 💖💖 please do more I love ur style so much and I love the way you draw all of the crew

AAAA thank u so much!!!! <333 i love ART n its family hehe i hope we find out more abt them in the next book!! :’)) and i will definitely be drawing more since i have now finished uni n have time for hobbies aw yea

#asks #dindindjarin #i am so curious abt PUOMANT in general #and their whole AI development program #the crumbs mw dropped in that one interview have me going ???!?!?!? #but also i want more cute perihelion family moments :’) #post uni life is great i have immediately booked a dance class a life drawing class n started reading gideon the ninth #and am v much enjoying it so far!!!! i’m just under halfway thru and the intensity is picking up now AAAAAA

[dykesbat]

every tag I get abt ppl being curious abt cass/rose does make me want to write my 56th explanation post abt why they drive me insane btw.

#I won’t do it but I am tempted. #I do want to write sm like that though just to get all my thoughts out there so I don’t have to rb like. #10 slightly different versions of the same post every time I’m having intense cr brainrot. #personal #anyways if you’re curious abt them send me an ask hahah jk unless.. lol #cr