#I DIDN'T THINK OF IT LAST NIGHT BUT STILL LMFAO FFS

[kuiinncedes]

ughhdgjfhjn

#why can't i think of the things i want to say in the moment why do i have to think about it too much later and then realize what i #want to have said #i kinda hate my brain sometimes :] #i do be like thinking haha no one thinks this much about what they say and shit ??????? #we had club deliberations last night and i'm mostly ok w our choices right #but there's one person who we decided to cut but idk he seems like a pretty good fit besides the fact that he wasn't Super social #but i wasn't fucking super social probably tbh i was maybe more social bc i was a lil desperate to meet ppl at college after online yr 😭 #but also they didn't have to cut ppl my yr and they didn't but we had to cut like almost half the ppl trying out 😭😭 #and i just sent something to rest of board being like what if we consider adding one more spot 😭 even tho we were already like #ten is our max max frfrfr lol and instead of fucking saying anything last night when we were all talking about it together #i think about it after and remember that i wanted to push for more people After it's kinda too late #and ofc now that i sent it (which i'm honestly kinda proud of myself for sending something 😭😭) i'm like #overthinking their reactions to it which is stupid no one cares #no one caresss !!!!!!!!!!!!! no one cares it's a stupid silly little club where we spin glowsticks on shoelaces #the director responded 😭😭😭 w like dizzy eyes emojis lmfao kslfgbsldhbglruhtoiquhgjslkdfhgljahlakgf #it's fine what the fuck i hate myself lmao #it's FINE screaming crying akjnfjbnhfbgfgjdf bye #WHY couldn't i have said something last night ffs #I DIDN'T THINK OF IT LAST NIGHT BUT STILL LMFAO FFS #jkndjfghdsjfgbluhrgqpiuhakdljg I SAID SOMETHING NOW AND THAT'S BETTER THAN NOTHING IG #I DID FEEL BETTER ABOUT SAYING SOMETHING RIGHT AFTER SENDING IT EVEN THO STEWING IN MY THOUGHTS MADE ME DOUBT EVERYTHING LMAO BUT #HERE WE ARE #trying to channel the everything e/verywhere aII at once thing of like nothing matters nothing matters!!!!!!!! #just be kind and like i need to work on speaking my mind more anyway jahjghfdbglsjdfg #i went to an ib school i am risk taker lMFAOOOOOO #dsf;kgjhsfdhbudfljdrhtih i feel bad for making everyone re deliberate how many ppl we're taking tho lowkey 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #when my mom is probably out of work im gonna try to call her and cry about this for no reason XD but i'm sure she'll help me feel better #about saying something lmfao screams #jeanne talks #why has our director joined the invisible on discord club XD