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#Erica Eve Camden Lahey (Original Character)
spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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Isla: Many people are mildly dehydrated and don’t realize it. You should drink at least six glasses of water per day. Raine: No, eight glasses! Wilder: I heard ten. Erica: You need to drink at least five glasses of water per minute. *later…* Camden: Okay, I just read through every study I could find to try to figure out whether low-grade dehydration is even a real thing. Isla: What did you learn? Camden: If you spend all day doing research and forget to eat or drink, you start to feel pretty bad. Raine: I’ll get some water. Camden: But how many glas–whoa, feeling dizzy. Jack: Maybe you should just drink straight from the tap.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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*Casually in the Middle of a High Stakes/Dangerous Situation* Camden: How do you eat pickles? Wilder: What do you mean? Camden: I mean, there's a whole process. It's not like you can grab them from the jar with your hand, because it's cold and the juice burns if you have a cut, plus, it's pretty unsanitary. And you can't use a spoon because you'll have to scoop it out, and it'll be way too difficult to grab more than three or four without taking 10 minutes along with half the brine in the jar, even if it's one with holes. Wilder: Yeah, that's why you use a fork. Camden: Okay, sure, but what if you don't have one of the big ones clean? It's weird to use a small one. But there is always one of those smaller sharp knives clean. Wilder: But the straight edge doesn't really fit the cylindrical shape, and you have to make sure you don' t break it, it's too much work. Camden: It makes me feel like I deserve the pickles though. Like, "Yeah, I did it. That's right. Good job me." It's empowering. But even after that, it's not like you can use a bowl. Wilder: I get that, it's not ascetically pleasing. Camden: Exactly! And it looks weird if you don't entirely fill the bowl, but you also can't eat that many. My solution: Use a mug. Wilder: *Nods in agreement* Erica: That is all very interesting, BUT WE'RE TRYING NOT TO DIE RIGHT NOW! USE YOUR LIMITED ATTENTION SPANS AND FOCUS! Camden: Jeez, okay. Wilder: Quit yelling at us already.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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Erica: Time freezes for everyone but you one day. What do you do? Camden: Oh… I’d mildly trouble everyone. Erica: Alright, so what would you do? Camden: I’d shave a one-inch thick line in every thick beard I saw. Camden: I’d twist all the lightbulbs just a little bit so no one would know when they aren’t working. Camden: I’d make every wing on girls eyeliner just a little bit higher than the other one. Camden: And I’d tie everyone’s shoelaces together. Camden: And then lastly, I’d snip a little hole in every tea bag. Erica: Erica: Remind me to never allow you to have power.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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Camden: Do you care if I take the skin off this Furby? Camden: I want to make him a god. Once he is free of his sinful flesh, he can begin a path toward enlightenment. He will take care of us. Camden: I also want to soft-hack his circuits. Erica: I literally could not care less but never say anything as frightening as that ever again.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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Erica: Oh, fiddlesticks. Raine: Look, I understand this is a tense situation, but let's watch the fucking language.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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*Erica and Raine living in the same apartment in college*
Erica, texting Raine: Raine there’s a moth on the outside of the bathroom door can you get rid of it? Erica: Pls hurry because I’m going to cry Erica: Raine Erica: Raine Raine: Raine is dead. You’re next. Love, Moth.
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spookyblazecoffee · 1 year
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Camden: So when are we gonna tell her? Isla: Just give her a minute. Erica: *Pulling on a door that clearly says push.*
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