#Eddie loves funions | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thegoblinboy · 10 months

Text

Funions & Scooby Snacks

Just a scene that came up in my head I’m shocked I felt motivated to write at all but here’s a apocalyptic steddie au where Steve is nonverbal. I might try to edit it better later who knows

Eddie slams his cross bow down, throwing himself to the floor not moving his watchful eyes from Steve. His hair is greasy, sticking to his forehead and matted together from weeks of no shower. His face was covered in dirt but Steve had already grown used to this look on the other. Steve doesn’t say anything, stays seated with his legs crossed as he slowly chews on the stale gummy Scooby Doo snacks he found at the gas station a couple of miles back. They were probably outdated but they were something.

“I can’t believe you are seriously sitting in front of me right now, eating Scooby doo snacks while I sit here and starve!” Eddie snaps. He gets grumpy when he’s hungry, but they also both know he didn’t like the texture of the gummy’s. He would spend a longer time holding himself back from throwing up then bitching about being hungry.

Steve doesn’t say anything, never does. Just looks over the fire at him as he purposely pulls another gummy from the small back. Letting the crinkling sounds echo through the woods. Before putting a show on as he pops the gummy into his mouth and begins to chew slowly again. A grin forming on his face as he watches Eddie dramatically gasp. Looking even more offended then before.

“How fucking dare you.” Eddie’s voice is loud, not afraid of the horrors in the woods. Both of them incredibly numb to it, knowing what to do if the man eaters came in crowds instead of being separated and by themselves.

Steve shakes his head amused, smile the only thing showing that he was finding this situation hilarious. Holding back soft chuckles as Eddie dramatically crawls around the fire. Grabbing his bow and carrying it with him out of instinct. Dropping it off to the side in reaching distance as he gets into Steve’s personal space.

Eddie still held a grumpy look on his face, possibly for a few seconds before a grin takes it’s place as he moves forward and tries to steal a gummy. Earning a slap from Steve who glares at him now. Causing Eddie to pout as he flops back down in the dirt dramatically. They both knew that he could catch a squirrel or some small animal for himself easily. Him acting like he was going to die from starvation had become a very common acting skit when they sat alone.

“Oh you have wounded me Stevie! Absolutely wounded me!” His voice is higher pitch, a southern accent poking through as Steve shakes his head amused. Before he moves over to his bag and pulls out a small bag of funions. Throwing them a bit aggressively in Eddie’s face as Eddie pretends to flop around like it hurt worst then what it actually did.

It takes a moment for Eddie to process what Steve gave him, a pause in silence. Before a loud gasp is in the air. “Oh, Stevie I could marry you. You know what-” Steve hears the bag ripping from behind him, the crinkling noise loud and annoying before Eddie is pushing himself off his back and moving forward. Making sure to get Steve’s attention.

“Stevie poo, apple to my pie, the nut to my cheerio, the fruit to my loop, the-“ Steve slaps him in the arm giving him a glare as Eddie laughs manically. Head tossed back as he does. Before he moves crouching into Steve’s space. Holding one of the funions in his hand. A funky looking round ring as he moves taking one of Steve’s hands in his. “Will you marry me puddin?” He teases.

How neither of them weren’t dating yet was beyond Steve’s comprehension. Yet this seemed more fitting for Eddie. He pretends to be offended at the thought of being married to the other before a grin grows on his face as he gives the other his answer with one look. Eddie stumbles over himself as he slides the edible ring on Steve’s finger.

“I do.” Steve says gently, barely above a whisper.

Eddie’s never heard him speak once in the past year and a half they’ve been running around together. A starstruck look on his face as he looks at Steve like he just hung the moon.

Steve’s face is a soft pink as he looks at the other carefully. Eddie grins before he’s tackling Steve, gummies going all over along with the ring on his finger snapping in half in the dirt. Eddie’s on top as his hand carefully caresses Steve’s face. Moving down and gently kissing the other. Both of them wrapped up in their own universe. Pulling away after a moment. Silence taking over them once again before Eddie (like normal) interrupts.

“I don’t think I’m starving anymore Mr.Munson.” He teases as he moves back in for another kiss.

#post apocalyptic #apocalyptic steddie #non verbal #nonverbal Steve Harrington #zombie apocalypse #Eddie Munson is Daryl Dixon coded to me but that might just be me #Eddie loves funions #gummy Scooby doo snacks #steddie #stranger things #eddie munson #steve harrington #steve x eddie #bxb #steveharrington #steveddie #eddie stranger things #steve and eddie #the first time Steve talks they get married

80 notes · View notes

smartguyreviewed · 4 years

Text

2x4 - Dateline

Original air date: Oct 1, 1997

Anyone who was holding their breath for me to get back to this, thank you. Been going through a lot like most people right now but I had to remember this blog is a good distraction because I get to write about one of my favorite shows growing up. Anyways, enjoy. :)

Let’s talk about cock-blocking or to be more gender inclusive...actually, I can’t think of a term similar that utilizes both a male and female part. Anyhoo, let’s talk about it.

I’ve done it (unintentionally). You’ve done it. We’ve all had it done to us as well. Like the night you finally got a chance to be alone with your dipshit crush and your annoying friend tried to insert herself until she finally realized what was going on and left you two alone so you could have your first kiss ever at age 19.

TJ is an extreme cock blocker. He will break your shit up and then pout because he’s still just a kid. Normally, TJ only wants to punish Marcus by enacting this cruel tactic but in this episode, he shifts gears to the person who is both a mother and father to him: Daddy Flody.

We begin this episode at a supermarket. Tj is checking out cereals and Floyd is checking out dat ass.

TJ catches Floyd staring and in his precocious little way, starts asking him questions about women. It kind of reminds me of Frank from Milk Money. which is a horrible movie that I adore and you should watch it because despite a little kid befriending a prostitute, it’s still a decent 90s coming-of-age tale. And Alex DeLarge is in it.

After TJ makes his dad sweat further by asking what body type gets his penis erect, TJ comes to the conclusion that Floyd is lonely and could probably benefit from some female companionship.

Cut to TJ on an unrealistically chatty PC barking at TJ to fill in the boxes for Floyd. I don’t know about you, but if my computer kept talking to me, I’d throw it out of the fucking window. I am so glad websites that talk at you are obsolete. Apparently, this computer is also sentient because TJ pauses for just a moment too long when Marcus comes in and this impatient computer bitch asks for the rest of the info in a more demanding tone.

But because TJ was distracted, he inputs his own height instead of his dad’s and the computer announces that she’s transferring him to their little people’s section. Hey, they gotta find love too!

Marcus is skeptical of why TJ is trying to set Floyd up. Just then, Yvette walks in and asks who is using her eyeliner to write down phone messages, which I totally expect a straight man to do. After fessing up, Marcus asks Yvette to dissuade TJ from setting up his dad. Yvette then uses her soon-to-be psychology degree on Marcus and reasons that he might be a little salty because he doesn’t want another woman to replace his mom. But no, Marcus is a teenage boy and completely lacking depth until certain episodes call for it. Instead, he says he just wants the car on weekend evenings so he can try to bang his latest girl of the week. Of course, he could just be deflecting to avoid a heavy conversation but I’m gonna go with the former because Marcus is the horniest boy on the show.

Yvette decides to help TJ since Floyd has few dating options. Her plan is to beef up his personal ad by making him younger and a fan of soul food and Maya Angelou. Marcus is still not with the shits and says that nobody wants to date an “old guy with three kids.” Completely forgetting about the fact that his dad is an attractive man, this happens instead:

TJ and the gang are now making final cuts on the 130 prospects Floyd had. I mean, that’s great and all but I’m sure at least half of those women were catfishes. Then again, in the 90s, maybe there was more legitimacy since there wasn’t enough technology to hide behind? I dunno. But Floyd definitely has some options.

While deliberating who will receive the clock from Floyd, Marcus makes what would be considered a transphobic comment questing if some of them really are women and how he doesn’t want Floyd to end up like Eddie Murphy. Mo, on the other hand is questing if this is even legal. Mo is a teenage boy and is probably likening it to what Tinder now is: a place to meet horny individuals.

Yvette thinks the ladies are good picks but then begins nitpicking their flaws, among one of them being that one of the ladies has breast implants. Because women who get surgeries to help boost their self esteem apparently don’t deserve love? Yvette is such a hypocrite as we’ll see in the future. Mo then begins taking the rejected pics because he loves older women, especially ones with perceived low self esteem. Just then, Floyd comes in the room and the gang has to cover up their dirty work. Floyd makes a bad joke and then dips out.

They eventually settle on a light-skinned natural woman named Jamie. They agree to meet at the grocery store, sot hat’s where we end up. Marcus is acting like he’s never seen pretty girls outside of school and leaves to spit game at women who just wanna be left alone so they can buy their frozen pizza and wine in peace.

Jamie sees who she thinks is her suitor and immediately is pissed because she, you know, thought she’d be meeting Floyd and not a little boy. Yvette comes over to smooth things over and convinces Jamie to meet Floyd. Well, TJ’s cute face convinced her after she was understandably freaked out. They go to meet Floyd.

Jamie shows up and explains what happened and that she was pre-screened to make sure she wasn’t a guy. Floyd actually even gives her an up and down look before she says she passed! Pretty sure this also wouldn’t go over well today. Jamie and Floyd, however, hit it off and leave to go on a date. When they get back, Yvette and TJ are spying on the new couple to see how it went. Floyd was actually bigging up TJ and talking about how smart he is to Jamie when they got in. Aww. Floyd is proud of his son for hooking him up. Yvette is noticeably annoyed at how he gets all of the credit, but I mean, it was his idea. Yvette just helped him out.

Upon completion of this totally selfless act to get his father some love, TJ is happy at first. Yay TJ! You’re on the right track to becoming a thoughtful human be--

Sike! TJ immediately regrets this decision once he realizes that his father having a personal life means that he won’t see him as much. TJ has a basketball game coming up that Floyd won’t be able to attend now. Yvette offers to take him but it’s not the same because Yvette is a girl and girls aren’t fun. And just like that, TJ the petty, cock-blocking asshole comes back.

The next day, TJ and Floyd are playing basketball when Jamie comes home. Floyd invites her to play but TJ is all like “bitch, wait your turn” and then Floyd puts her on TJ’s team. She then bribes TJ with the food she’s about to cook for them. He agrees but then Jamie and Floyd start flirting because duh. TJ leaves in a jealous fit, upset that this woman he hooked his father up with has the gall to want to spend time with him. He simulates what he wants to do to her body on a bag of Funions.

I have to say though, how long was the frame of this episode? Days? Weeks? Jamie has essentially become their stepmom. She’s even giving Marcus advice on how to treat a girl like a human being instead of a meat popsicle with titties. Yvette and Marcus then leave, allowing Jamie and Floyd their Blockbuster and Chill time with The Preacher’s Wife.

But TJ is a boner detector because as soon as Jamie and Floyd are about to mash faces, TJ whimpers for his pa because he doesn’t feel good. We think Floyd banished him to his room but then TJ comes over and pushes the two would-be lovers apart so he can ruin their night. Jamie eventually decides to leave, even though it’s clear she was holding out in case she could get a piece of Floyd but TJ completely squashed that possibility. Floyd actually whines when Jamie says she’s leaving. Aww. Floyd is lonely. Does TJ care? Of course not.

TJ sounds perfectly fine when he says he’s sorry he ruined the night. Father and son decide to just watch the movie together instead.

The next day at school, Marcus is spitting his game at the girl he went on a date with. Turns out, treating women like actual people has been working well for him! He’s even going on a second date. Yvette comes by to let TJ know that she’s picking him up again. TJ is, of course, pissed because Jamie had come over to the house the night before, albeit dick-less. Yvette has to explain to TJ that when you date someone, the goal is to see them frequently and that he’s the reason their last date sucked. She then shatters Marcus’s dreams by letting him know that Floyd is taking his car on his date. Guess Marcus is gonna have to make out on the bus.

TJ’s lips are all puckered because he’s losing his father to another woman. He’s so distressed that he actually picks a fight with a senior. Mo steps in and literally drags TJ home. No, seriously. He carried TJ like a bag of groceries all the way to the Henderson house during school. Then he transformed into a therapist to get to the root of TJ’s outburst. This is during school hours. Mo skipped school to bring TJ home and give Floyd advice. Mo is amazing.

TJ is playing basketball with himself when Floyd comes in and then he spills that he’s sick of Jamie. Floyd reminds TJ that he’s the one who set them up and I guess TJ didn’t know things would actually change. Now would have been a good time to mention if he feels some way about another woman besides Yvette playing a maternal figure in the wake of his mother’s never explained death. But Floyd does a good job as usual and says this is temporary because when TJ is a teenager, he won’t want anything to do with Floyd. TJ finally stops being a prick and Floyd offers to be careful about how he schedules his time and then continues the basketball game he let Jamie interrupt previously. Aww Floyd. Too bad TJ is probably going to hold onto this for a while because he was giving his dad a lot of shit in the end credits. This isn’t even the last time he does this to Floyd and we never see Jamie again, so I guess it’s safe to assume that TJ killed Jamie.

Things I noticed:

- Can we just take a moment to appreciate how hot Floyd is? How could Marcus ever think his dad wouldn’t be able to attract women?

- This brilliant cover for the gang if Floyd came in during the date deliberation:

- Marcus doesn’t want Floyd to go out on dates because he wants the car to himself on the weekends. He says if Floyd starts going out, he’s making out in the back of the bus. Yvette then says, “No, thanks to Rosa Parks, you can make out anywhere on the bus.” Brilliant retort. I really hand it to the writers of this show.

#smart guy #floyd henderson #tahj mowry #marcus henderson #jason weaver #essence atkins #Yvette Henderson #disney #mo tibbs #omar gooding #TJ henderson

21 notes · View notes