#Ed being terrifed of vulnerability and admitting hes not always ok

[honeybunniii333]

somethin gay

(Hello, sorry I've been gone. I died of ailment and still am, though I'm a lot better now. So back to work! I was really in the mood for Ed angst. And naturally, I made it gay too.)

"Are you okay?..."

The question caught him off guard, and he wasn't sure exactly how to answer it. Because no one ever really asked him that. Aside from Blue, no one ever seemed to worry over him. Not that Edward blamed them. Why would they worry? He was Edward Quinton, school king! He was always okay. Nothing bad ever happened to him. He was perfect. He wanted it to look that way. He didn't want anyone to worry for him, so he took no offense when no one did. But he was tired, he was drained and overwhelmed. His schedule was far too packed, and he barely had time to think anymore. With sports, school, family issues, friend issues, his status, and all the supernatural stuff he had lately, he was starting to crack.

It would appear he'd slipped up somewhere in his little act because now Isaac was looking at him with that look, that look that said he knew something was wrong with him and God did Ed hate it. He hadn't gotten that look since middle school. Sitting alone in the office covered in bruises cause kids were mean. Adults and children alike looking at him as if he were a poor pathetic stray puppy kicked to the curb.

"I'm fine." it came out harsher than he meant for it to. He hadn't meant to sound so snippy, but it was an instinctual reaction he hadn't yet figured out how to stop. Isaac didn't seem to take offense fortunately, unfortunately, though he didn't seem to buy into his answer either.

"Are you sure..? You look really tired. When's the last time you slept?" The blonde pressed further. He couldn't really remember. He hadn't slept hardly at all this week. He wasn't sure what exactly was causing it, but he just couldn't seem to sleep at night. And it appeared that his prolonged silence had answered whatever questions Isaac had. The little shit had clearly come to his own conclusion, so Ed didn't bother to try answering. There was a long moment of quiet before Ed felt hands on his chest. "Lay down."

"Huh..? why?.." his face scrunched up a bit, but he let his boyfriend push him down and let out a soft oof sound as the smaller boy draped himself over Ed, tucking his face into the crook of his neck and sighing. "You need to sleep, so we're taking a nap." Edward could shove him off if he wanted. He was stronger, and Isaac weighed the equivalent of nothing to him. He was heavy against his chest but not unbearably so... actually, it felt kinda nice. The weight was grounding... in a way he hadn't realized he'd needed until now.

He felt the tension draining out of him as his face flushed, and he wormed his arms out from under Isaac to wrap them around him. "Fine..." he grumbled. He didn't have it in him to fight, and it felt so nice to be close. A hand in his hair, fuzzy blankets pulled up over them. He felt warm, both literally and metaphorically. It was a cheesy thing to think about, he knew, but he couldn't help it. Isaac just did that to him... He let out a soft sigh, his eyes drifting shut as he held the other closer and felt sleep taking him at last. He was supposed to be okay, but he supposed this once he'd allow himself the leisure of vulnerability...

#ibvs #ibvs posts #isaac beamer versus the supernatural #edward quinton #isaac beamer #Haha i could breathe for like 2 weeks #Ed being terrifed of vulnerability and admitting hes not always ok #hes just me #i love them so much #i wanna but them in a blender