#ESPECIALLY any of the rerecords oh my god | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

doesntseeyourbeauty · 7 months

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Elizabeth, hiiii! Oh, don't worry about it!!! 🤍

I work on the weekends as well and it's usually chaotic especially Sunday, but this one wasn't so bad. 😊 how was ur weekend?

I agree! I'm a big hater of violence in any shape or form. It just doesn't do anything good for anyone. I wish people could see that and find better ways of communicating their contrary ideas and try to find common ground. It's probably too much to ask, because most people just see the world as they want it to be. And want to force us to experience it in that way as well. That's so trueeeee! I'm always having to have that conversation with people around me! You should be proud! You're achievement beautiful things!!!

Yes, it was so cool!!! I'm very excited to see the final doc!!!! She's also a very sweet and creative person and her aesthetic is just so witchy and cool which also matches her name. Hehehe That is such a relevant point! God, looking at things now, I can't believe I got sucked into it as well. I am well aware I was a big part of the fast fashion problem. I've been trying to change my ways so much and I'm very happy with my new choices. It is!!!!!

It is, isn't it??? I'm so glad I got so attached to her music when I was 15. Because since then, like you said, her albums have always come at the perfect time to help get through life. 🤍🤍🤍 it's so magical!!! Hehehe well, I think that difference in ages is also so important, because she's like ur big sister. I'm so excited about eras, omg!!!

That's such a cute name! Oh wow, same, I love urs too so freaking much!! Cats are so loveable! I have two more cats, they were all strays I stole from the streets. What other anime do u like? I only started watching like 2 years ago, so I haven't watched many things.

Also, what other artists do you like besides Taylor?

THANK youuuuu 🤍🤍🤍 have a super wonderful week!!! 👻

(Idk if that tag is for me, but of course ask me anything.)

hiiiiiii!!!! <3333

My weekend was good! I did some shopping and got more beads to make friendship bracelets for the eras tour movie this weekend (not that I don't already have like 40 but gotta have moreeeeeeee). I hope that despite working, your weekend was amazing!!!

I am too! It's just so unnecessary and it impacts so many people in such negative ways (I'm also very anti-war especially growing up in the U.S. after 9/11 and seeing the war crimes we committed against the innocent people of the Middle East). Learning to listen to others and compromise is so important and how we can effectively make change! I've learned over the years that some people will always be resistant to change, but most people are willing to look at others perspectives, it just depends on the person! I think it's so important to have these conversations because if we don't talk about it, nothing will ever come from it! I'm really hoping to make changes here, I've not always loved the town I live in, but it's slowly changing and I'm so glad to see the changes happen.

That's amazing!!!! I love anything witchy so that's right up my alley! I'm so excited that you were asked to showcase some of your stuff, even if they weren't able to use them, it shows how talented you are! Oh I agree, I was part of the issue with fast fashion too! It's difficult living in a rural area because it's just so hard to find good work clothes so I have to Amazon a lot of it, which I hate doing but it's a necessary evil. We can learn from our past mistakes and try to be better and that's what matters!!

I LOVE THAT OMG, I feel like if I got into Taylor at 15, I would've literally made Fearless into my entire personality like.... too relatable for me at that time, especially because that was when I moved to Oregon with my family! Taylor's music is just perfection and the fact that over the years, it's still the same but all the differing elements within the music allows for it to age sooooo beautifully. And with the rerecordings, it's allowing her older albums to really shine again and I love seeing new fans get to have those moments and older fans getting to relive the albums, it really allows for them to be timeless! That's actually how I think of Taylor is like a big sister! I'm the only girl out of my siblings so having Taylor there for the majority of my life has been such a great influence, I'm so incredibly grateful to have Taylor with me through all walks of life.

Omgggggggg, I'm here for stealing strays off the streets! My mom has two former stray cats that are now her babies and I love them both so much. I've had Winnie since she was a kitten (she was a birthday gift!) and she's my greatest joy (but don't tell my dog lol).

I love anime such as anything from Studio Ghibli, Fairy Tail, Castlevania, Miss Kobayashi's Dragon Maid, and anything like that! Crunchyroll is a great place for anything like that. I also love reading WebToons, they're great!!

I love the 1975 (I know controversial but I've listened to their music since 2012 and it's become a big part of my life and it's hard to step away from it when it's been so important for so long), Olivia Rodrigo, The Japanese House, Beabadoobee, Phoebe Bridgers, Boygenius, Walk the Moon, Fall Out Boy, and artists like that!

Of course, I hope you have a great rest of your week, love! <333333333 (the can i ask you a question is actually what my ask is called!)

#swiftie halloween

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person-personified · 1 year

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I posted 2,409 times in 2022

35 posts created (1%)

2,374 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hattalove

@ttimbradford

@extasiswings

@911bts

I tagged 1,766 of my posts in 2022

Only 27% of my posts had no tags

#911 fox - 708 posts

#evan buckley - 223 posts

#eddie diaz - 216 posts

#buddie - 159 posts

#in the tags - 110 posts

#words - 86 posts

#!!! - 83 posts

#911 bts - 77 posts

#911 meta - 69 posts

#art - 69 posts

Longest Tag: 131 characters

#i gotta think...❤️‍🔥is like. beautiful and aesthetic. but a bit uncommon?i love 💖 especially with some✨✨ but i use 💕 most often.

My Top Posts in 2022:

reeba !!! taylor !!! midnights!!! omg did you have any idea ?!?!?!? it's always out of nowhere i swear aksdfjjj :') <33

hi!! hello!!

no I fucking did not like. she was doing interviews like no I don't have another album in me just yet, I'm so tired, I thought new album would take a few years??

like obviously it's been nearly 2 years since evermore but there's the rerecordings. and also I think I've been spoilt by the folklore/evermore release schedule because I feel...empty that we don't have the tracklist or like we're not getting the whole album + mv immediately after the announcement 😅

it looks so good though! I first saw her red carpet look waking up mid sleep to check something and I thought oh so rep? and then I woke up and my friend was screaming about the new album

the aesthetic looks so gooooood. I might invest in a good eyeshadow palette so I can make her blue eyeshadow look my personality for a bit✨

also hello? louis and taylor having their albums out within a month of each other? louaylor rights!!

4 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

reeba!!! happy new year, my dear ✨🎉!! im so glad to have had so many silly and serious and everything-in-between conversations with you this past year 😊💫💖 i hope the new year brings a million happy moments, exciting opportunities, and pockets of peace for you 💌🥰

essie <333 happy slightly belated new year🎉🎆 I'm so glad YOU reached out after seeing my random tag rambles😭🥺🥺 because I don't think. I would have. and then I wouldn't have an insanely talented friend who's also? so good at getting the weird intangible thoughts and feelings that I am usually too insecure to talk about to most people. we're matching brain waves on a facet of ourselves and I am very very grateful to have known you this past year<3

thank you for all the wishes omg, same for you!! a million happy moments and a sense of fulfilment, progress and contentment with life. and the strength to step out of our comfort zones and reach for happiness💗💖

also I put in fireworks but I detest those irl, considering I cover my ears when balloons pop. so I hope your ears survived intact 😬

4 notes - Posted January 2, 2022

(also, no need to answer, just want to say i see about the flooding and i'm thinking about you <3 that must feel really scary and sad, i hope you and your loved ones are doing okay, sending love <3 <3 <3)

thank you, my area is safe but the country as a whole. all the provinces are effected, so many lives and livelihoods destroyed...it's really bad out there. and videos and constant updates are..emotionally taxing but if you put it in the back of your mind, you just get busy with your life and you forget those people who will need months until they can even begin to start rebuilding there lives.

and of course crops were effected so prices of some stuff are already high and they'll only get higher. and we already have shitty price hikes due to a recent change in government after some political turmoil. but thank God for private non-profits who actually help the people instead of looting donations

sorry this is. a lot. I just wish there was more I could do besides donating. hopefully volunteer activities will crop up after the initial situation has been stabilized so I can do something that isn't limited by my finances

5 notes - Posted August 29, 2022

reeba !!! are you back from the land of the shadowbanned??! also, what track are you claiming off midnights 👀🌙💫

hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii essie🥰🥰

I am back from the land of the shadowbanned alright, so back in fact that when I saw half your ask in my notifications saying are you back from the land of... I didn't have the slightest inkling what this could be about and like a perfectly normal person, I wondered, why does essie think I'm in the land of the dead? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

as for claiming tracks, not to be (more) dramatic, I don't what's going on, idk who I AM? because like I cannot decide a track to claim. like this has never happened in any of the album releases I've been through so far. but like. lavender haze, maroon or midnight rain. like I think I want something s o f t. and side A sounds softer but I feel like the titles are going to be very misleading regarding the vibe? I am CERTAIN that whatever song I claim will not be my favorite. only two more sleeps till we know🕛⏳

How are you faring with this claiming business that I'm pathetically failing at😂

6 notes - Posted October 20, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

hey hi how are you ☺️✨ (i typed this and my brain went ‘how’s life, tell me how’s your family’ even though i haven’t listed to that song in FOREVER aksjjj but i’m off to rectify that now <3)

hi essie!! ☀️✨✨

to be very honest, I'm just... tired 😅 I'm trying to juggle some uni stuff with a part-time job and utterly failing at time management. like I COULD give up the me time but at what cost? losing my soul? so I'm just sacrificing sleep etc 🥳🥳

oof not back to decemberrrrr. i don't think I've heard it since 9th grade except once with red tv but I remember it all too well🤪

I think that's what the kids these are calling 'core memories'

how are you?? how's life and your family (feline family)

7 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #top tags are all 911 are we surprised

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skinnyducky · 3 years

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made for you // v.h.

hello.. im sorry i havent been posting. school has been keeping me busy but i wanted to post this. this idea comes from @yelenasdarling so thank you ! i recommend listening to halley’s comet by billie eilish (as well as the whole album) bc that’s the song that is being discussed in this (as well as many others), so yuh. enjoy ! and i promise i haven’t forgotten about party @ y/ns !

vinnie hacker x singer!fem!reader

Word Count: 1408, edited

WARNING: MAJOR FLUFF LUV

---------

As the year was coming to an end, so was your debut album. For months, you’d been working with the best producers, musicians, and doing endless promo for this album and within a few days, you’d be playing it for the label. Obviously because it is your first record, you’re protective over it. No one had heard it besides the people working on it. So, you were a bit nervous to let your pleading boyfriend, Vinnie, tag along to the studio with you.

It was Friday, and you two had been chilling in his room when your producer, Sarah, said she needed you to go over it before the label meeting. As you bid your goodbyes to Vinnie, informing him of the reason for your departure, he pouted. “Why can’t I come?” he nearly cried, giving you his puppy dog eyes. Because you couldn’t resist them—and you just can’t say “no” to him—you allowed him to come.

Now here the two of you were, in the studio and listening to Sarah go on and on about how long it took for her to finish mastering it. Your manager, Jen, had came too. She had to hear the album for herself also. She couldn’t have her client looking a mess in front of her bosses. Bad for business and her reputation.

“…and after an hour or two of making sure your vocals were clear, I finally finish the album.” Sarah explained. “Honestly, this is probably the best album I’ve produced in a minute, and I worked on SZA’s album.”

“That good?” Vinnie asked with a smirk, leaning against the studio door. “That’s sick. I’m ready to listen to it.”

As that sentence left Vinnie’s mouth, you felt your anxiety overcome you. “Are you sure, Sarah? There has to be some sort of adlib I need to rework or something. Can’t be ready so soon.”

“Y/n, it can’t get any better than this. This is a solid project. I should know, I spent days listening to it over and over again. Trust me, it’s ready.”

“Besides, it’s too late to rerecord now.” Jen added. “The label meeting is next Thursday, and we don’t have a week for Sarah to mix and master all over again. Once the label gives us the greenlight, if there’s anything to tweak, you can do it before you have to submit the final project. But until then, no changes and no additions.”

You sighed, nodded your head. It’s not that you were afraid of it not being perfect. You were more scared of what Vinnie would think. I mean, he’s the one who inspired the album; more than half of the songs are about him. His opinion meant everything to you, and if he didn’t like an inch of it…that would destroy you.

As you were sulking and picking at your chipped nail polish, Vinnie wandered over to you where you sat at the soundboard with Sarah. He leaned against it and smiled down at you. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Nothing.” You sighed, keeping your head down. He scoffed and chuckled. “Y/n, you’re playing with your nail polish. You always do that when you’re upset.”

He pulled you up and took you out of your seat before sitting down himself and placing you on his lap. “Tell Santa what’s up.” He joked, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“I’m just nervous. This album means so much to me.”

“Completely understandable. It’s your first one, it should mean a lot to you.”

You shook your head. “It’s not just because of that. It’s also because it’s about you. The only reason you haven’t came with me to the studio until now is because I didn’t want you to hate anything on this, and it would kill me if you did.”

“Y/n, look at me”—you finally met his eyes for the first time—“I could never not like anything you do. Especially if it’s dedicated to me. That’s like throwing away a gift you gave me. I wouldn’t ever do that. So don’t think for a minute that I’d hate this. That’s literally impossible.”

You smiled, planting a kiss on his forehead. “You’re too good for me.”

“I know.” He laughed and turned to Sarah. “Play us the album!” He said dramatically, sending the producer into a fit of giggles.

She followed his orders and with a few clicks and the press of a button, the first song from your album rang out from the studio speakers. You watched timidly as Vinnie bobbed his head up and down as it went from track to track.

“This shit slaps!” He exclaimed as “Y/n Bossa Nova” played. He nearly about died during “Oxytocin”, claiming it to be god tier. Minutes went by until you got to the final track “Halley’s Comet”, and you were scared to play him this song.

While the other tracks were quite playful in nature, this one was different. The song was a bit cynical, but it was also like a love letter to Vinnie. Never before have you ever felt what you had with him. And at first that made you scared. But as the months went by and your relationship started to blossom, you realized he was the one for you. This was just your way of telling him that.

When it started, you looked everywhere but at Vinnie. It wasn’t just because you couldn’t bear to see the expression on his face, but also because this song was quite emotional. You didn’t want him to see you “being a little bitch” as you put it.

The sound of your soft vocals bounced off the walls and you felt Vinnie place his chin on your shoulder. His hold on you grew tighter as he swayed you two back forth. A small smile crept it’s way onto your face as you tried your best to stray away from crying.

“I’ve been loved before, but right now in this moment,” you sung, “I feel more and more like I was made for you…”

When those lyrics hit, you felt Vinnie stop swaying. Hell, you were pretty sure he had stopped breathing too. You didn’t know what to think about that; did he not like the song, is he shocked? What was he thinking and feeling? Shortly after, the song came to an end with you singing, “I think I might have fallen in love…what am I to do?”

And with that, the album finished. The room was silent, the only sound being your sniffles. Although that was broken when Sarah screamed. “Wasn’t that amazing!? Ugh, my power…I really outdid myself on this one.”

Thankfully, Jen understood the impact of that last song. “Sarah, why don’t we go get a Snickers or something from the vending machine?”

“I can’t eat anything fatty, Jen. You know this.”

Jen mouthed some profanities and threats at the woman causing her to shoot up from her chair and run out into the hallway. “We’ll leave you two alone for a minute.” Jen smiled, leaving the room and shutting the door behind her.

Neither of you or Vinnie spoke and that somewhat was comforting. However, part of it made you feel insecure about the album, “Halley’s Comet” in specific. Out of all the songs, that’s the one you wanted him to like the most.

The silence soon grew uncomfortable, so you decided to be the first to speak. “Well, that was the album. What’d you think?”

He opened his mouth, but it was obviously he couldn’t find the right words to say. “I-I don’t know how to even put it in words.”

“That bad?” You sighed.

“No, never.” He laughed. “It was beautiful, all of it really. And that last song, that was amazing.”

You pursed your lips, hiding the grin wanting to break free. “You think so?”

“Yeah, it was definitely one of my favorites. To know I had that much of an impact on you, it’s really sweet. I didn’t think I could simp for you any harder than I do now.”

“Shut up!” you laughed, slapping his shoulder.

“It’s the truth!” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “I love you, Y/n. I really do.”

“I love you too.” And with that, he laid a sweet and gentle kiss on your lips.

Pulling back, he said, “Oh and just so you know, I agree with you.”

“On what?”

“You were definitely made for me.”

#vinnie hacker x reader #vinnie x reader #vinnie hacker imagine #vinnie hacker

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youremyonlyhope · 6 years

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Children of Earth: Day Four

AKA Wow, things get even worse. You don’t think it’s possible, but here we are.

OR: This episode is so relevant to this week that it was physically painful to watch and I’m even more mad at Trump than ever before.

I’m not ready for this.

Been super busy the last 2 weeks, gonna watch this episode now. Who knows when I’ll get to Day 5. Maybe over the weekend if I’m lucky. Doubt it.

See, I know how intense Day Three is since I literally just watched it a few weeks ago, but somehow I blocked it out over the last 2 weeks. And the “Previously...” reminded me. Oh god. THIS IS WHY I REFUSED TO REWATCH THIS SEASON. Why is this episode an hour long why do you need to add MORE time to my pain? Oh... Gareth’s name on the opening credits for the last time... I’m sad. “In 1913 the Spanish flu killed something like 5% of the human race.” “I know, I was there.” Ok, taking a second to pull focus from this horrible thing they’re doing to say how much I love Jack’s little “LOL I remember that” “But that was 100s of years ago” “Haha, yeah...” moments throughout Torchwood. They’re my favorite things. Also, I had forgotten that they gave them the 10 kids in return for a cure to save 25 million people... I mean... it’s still horrible... but for all these years I hadn’t remember any type of justification. For some reason I was thinking they were just doing it because the aliens asked and they didn’t want angry aliens coming at them, not that it was because of an actual deal made. It doesn’t make it... that much better... but it’s not as bad? I guess? I don’t know. I guess I’m relieved I remembered it wrong. Also hi Sophie! I remember when Benedict married her I was like “I know her... I KNOW I know her...” and sure enough, Torchwood. Britain has 5 actors, and they’ve all been in the Whoniverse. “Just 12? Sounds like a good deal.” Oh Jack... oh Jack oh Jack oh Jack... I mean he’s in such a tough situation, but also I wonder if his immortality skews his judgement. Not even wonder since we know it does sometimes. More like I wonder if this is one of those times. “They say they’ll live forever” Ohhhhh god they kept their promise. Oh god. “Actually, we need someone who doesn’t care.” OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH. SEE. IMMORTALITY. SKEWING JUDGEMENT. THEY KNOW. THEY TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT. JACK. GROUND YOURSELF MORE.

Ugh. My episode’s frozen after Gwen says “You just handed them over and hoped for the best?” but if I go 1 second ahead of that it’s fine. What is wrong with this 1 second that keeps freezes?

I wonder if there was something that drew the kids in? Because even though Jack is super charismatic, and kids are super obedient and trusting, they wouldn’t just walk into a bright light because a guy told them to... or at least I hope they wouldn’t... Well at least Jack’s super mad about it. I mean, they shouldn’t have even attempted to stop Clem from shooting. That’s the good thing about Jack, you can keep shooting him and killing him over and over again until you get all your anger out, and there are no consequences. Especially since Jack already hates himself enough to agree with you for whatever reason you’re shooting him. Wow I hate Torchwood. “Can’t believe you didn’t mention this before.” Ianto, all of your scenes last episode had me going “WHY ARE YOU TWO ONLY JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS STUFF.” so there’s sooooooooo much you don’t know. I can’t tell if Johnson asking about Steven not knowing who Jack really is is her genuinely being interested in the situation, or if she’s mocking them. It could go either way. Part of me feels like I remember her being redeemed, I hope I’m right because I REALLY want to like Johnson. Wait why did the computer sound like it was combined with Bridget’s voice? Does it assume she’s a woman so it adds a woman’s voice over the computer voice? Or were the editors just lazy and altered Bridget’s actress’ lines instead of rerecording them with a computer voice? Oh deep breaths. I can’t handle this. JUST THE STUPID SMOKEY BOX MAKES ME ANXIOUS. I love that Frobisher mentioned the Prime Minister. I know it’s not him outrightly telling everyone that the Prime Minister’s a part of it, but still it’s more recognition than the PM wanted so I’m glad Frobisher brought him up, even in that way. And only mentioned him. He could have said “The Prime Minister, an American General, and a UNIT Colonel are watching.” but no, he said “The Prime Minister of this country is watching.” Yes. I love it. Who is this brave soul walking into the box though? What’s his story? I love Lois getting closer and Bridget giving her a “What is this girl doing?” look. Oh god the child. And the Prime Minister’s like “Oops I’ve been caught” AND I’M LIKE STOP BEING SO SELFISH YOU IDIOT THERE’S A CHILD IN THERE AND YOU’RE CARING THAT IT’S PROOF AGAINST YOU. WHAT ABOUT THE CHILD WHO’S STILL A CHILD 44 YEARS LATER AND HOOKED UP TO STUFF? DON’T YOU WANNA KNOW IF HE’S OK? Oh I don’t think I noticed Ianto’s tears before... baby no... “Do you think he knows? Is he conscious?” Wow Rhys asking a good question. Is it better if he’s not in pain? Oh Lois no don’t cry no this hurts. I FORGOT ABOUT THE 456 JUST BEING LIKE “LOL BUT I THOUGHT YOU GUYS WANTED THIS OFF THE RECORD LOL WELL YOU SHOULDN’T HAVE COME IN LOL” THAT’S BOTH HILARIOUS AND HORRIFYING. “What does it want them for?” “Bit late to ask now.” OOOOh Rhys I love you. Asking good questions, calling out Jack. Love love love the American General. Right now. I think I remember ending up hating everyone in that room debating which kids to take. But right now, love him. And the Prime Minister’s an idiot. But we knew this already. Old news.

OH MY GOD. Oh my god. Watching this season in the midst of the outrage over Trump’s family separation policy... just... it all suddenly hit me really hard. Wow.

“I’ve only just scraped the surface, haven’t I?” Unfortunately, yes.

Jack: I’ve gotta go, I won’t be long. Me: Here we go again. Running away. Ianto: You’re doing it again. Me: GOOD. CALL HIM OUT.

Yes, Jack, it’s ok to call Frobisher. It’s smart to do it far away so it can’t be tracked. Just TELL them you’re going to do it. Once again, even just shouting it as you run off is better than nothing. Wow ok now Jack’s spilling everything. I do love that coat though. Jack’s iconic coat. I know I just ruined an emotional scene, but since losing the original coat I REALLY appreciate the new one, ok? It’s his thing. That picture they pulled up of Jack is from They Keep Killing Suzie when they all arrive all dramatic and we are introduced to my queen, Detective Swanson. Did they just pick that episode for everyone’s pictures? Owen’s official picture’s from that scene too. Also, still super disappointed we never got more Detective Swanson. She was the BEST. Love her. HEY, PRIME MINISTER, FROBISHER NEEDS A NAP. PRIME MINISTER. STOP BRINGING FROBISHER INTO THIS. DEAL WITH STUFF FOR YOURSELF FOR ONCE. STOP SAVING YOURSELF. THINK OF THE ENTIRE POPULATION OF THE WORLD. OR AT THE VERY VERY LEAST THINK OF FROBISHER. “Unaccompanied asylum seekers awaiting deportation.” Guys. Guys. This is getting too real. This was too real in 2009 when it aired. This was too real in 2013 when I watched it for the first time. And this is WAY TOO REAL IN 2018. “Orphans in ‘65, asylum seekers today. There’s progress for you.” Uugggghghhhhhhh “And no one would miss them.” Wow all of this is too real why are we here why are we at this point. Calling them units instead of kids to make it easier. THEY’RE ALL SAYING DIFFERENT NUMBERS? THE 456 KNOW EXACTLY HOW MANY FROM EACH COUNTRY THEY WANT? OH GOD. 2,340,000 from America oh god. “325,000 is 10% of the childr- the, uh, units in this country.” WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY. WHO IS THIS DUDE SAYING “OH IT’S WORTH CONSIDERING COMPLYING” STOP IT. RICK. STOP IT. Also apparently he’s played by Nicholas Briggs aka the Daleks and Cybermen so hiiiiiiiii nice to see your face! NOW, TELL YOUR CHARACTER TO STOP SUGGESTING GIVING AWAY THE CHILDREN. Also this is Infinity War too. Dwindling resources. Instead of finding a way to make more resources, just kill people so whoever’s left can have more. Perfectly logical. If you’re Thanos. Come on Johnson. Come on girl. Start snooping into your bosses. “We are now facing the worst-case scenario.” Yep. From now on, they can’t call anything else the worst-case scenario. Nothing is worse than this. PM. DUDE. STOP PUTTING ALL OF THIS ON FROBISHER. “Which is out of my hands, over to you, sir.” Subtly fighting back just a little teeny tiny bit. Not letting him put anything else onto him. Good. IF ONLY YOU WOULD JUST QUIT AND WALK AWAY AND SHOUT ON THE STREETS WHAT THE PRIME MINISTER DID TO YOU AND IS PLANNING TO DO TO EVERYONE ELSE. I like the guy who wants it to be random. Dalek-Rick gave the genius suggestion of doing it alphabetically. Wow. Just get him out of here. Convincing the PM to go through with it, suggesting doing it alphabetically. Why is he here? Every second-born child? So I’d be taken since I’m a twin who was born a minute later than my brother by chance. But also I was 13 in 2009 so I wouldn’t have been considered, but STILL. SECOND-BORN IS DUMB. ALL OF THIS IS DUMB. “If this... this lottery takes place, my kids aren’t in it.” Uggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I mean, I get not wanting your kids to be taken from you, but just ughghghhghghghhhghhghghhhhhhhhh YOU’RE NOT BETTER THAN ANYONE ELSE. “I’m sure the families of Gold Command will be exempted anyway.” “In fact isn’t that official policy?” Why are we here why are we here “Whatever happens, the children and grandchildren of everyone around this table will be exempt.” Oh, but everyone except Frobisher? Right? Ok but lady, I bet you anything your brother’s kids are not as bright as you assume they are. Not as “valuable.” You just have more investment in them than kids you’re not related to. What if you brother’s kids were evaluated and seen to not be valuable? Denise talking about good schools and failing schools while NYC has a debate over the SHSAT is also too real. Frobisher’s the only one horrified. Oh god oh god Jack and Ianto are going to Thames House oh no oh no no no no no no no. She’s been wearing those contacts for nearly 24 hours now oh god. See, I want to see what kind of outrage there was when someone finally figured out what the number meant and it spread to the general public. Oh Trinity Wells. She’s one of my favorite characters in the Whoniverse honestly. Love her. Just gonna leave a parked car in the middle of gridlocked traffic. Great. “This goes to you people listening in on the wire too.” IANTO YES. This scene where he tells Rhiannon how much he loves her and the kids is so much worse knowing Ianto’s about to die... Oh wow. I went from smiling to my face just dropping as I remembered. Ok Frobisher, I will admit that’s a well thought out plan to get out of this and avoid the blame. I will give you that much. BUT I STILL HATE THAT THIS IS HAPPENING AT ALL. “No one in this room is a willing accomplice.” Ehhhhhhhhhhh you’re the highest on the list since you enjoyed not having your name on this and never intended to take any credit. You had no stakes for a while while you gave Frobisher orders. So shut up PM.

OH GOD JUST POOR LOIS. GIRL SHOWS UP, THINKING SHE HAS A NICE LITTLE SECRETARY JOB FOR A SMALL BRANCH OF THE GOVERNMENT. GETS PULLED INTO A INTERNATIONAL AND INTERSPECIES CRISIS. AND IS NOW COMMITTING TREASON IN AN ATTEMPT TO SAVE THE WORLD. I LOVE HER. SHE’S BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH. AT LEAST TORCHWOOD AND FROBISHER AND THE PM KNEW ALIENS EXISTED AND WERE READY (to an extent) TO DEAL WITH IT. LOIS WAS JUST THROWN INTO IT ON HER FIRST DAY. And she’s handled it so well. God. Lois deserves all the appreciation.

God. Just watching her, I’m getting that feeling I get when I talk in class. The nerves, feeling all warm like I can feel the blood in all of my veins. Oh god I can’t imagine how she feels. “Oh yeah, you and whose army?” “Torchwood.” LOVE LOVE LOVE LOIS. LOVE LOVE LOVE THEIR SHOCKED REACTIONS. My girl Lois. Blackmailing the entire British Government. Your fave could NEVER. Oh god 13 more minutes in the episode. I wonder if Dekker and Jack ever met in 1965. Wait nooooo is Dekker about to die?!?!??!??!?!?!??!?!?! HE’S IN THE BUILDING. NOOOO DEKKER NO. Also yeah, the “computer lip reading” is just them editing the actors’ voices. Try harder Torchwood, you have Nicholas Briggs right there! The king of robotic alien voices! 10 feet away! Ooooh nooo Dekker why must you be in the building. “Happy now?” PRIME MINISTER. YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE SPEAKING. THERE ARE MAYBE A COUPLE HUNDRED PEOPLE IN THAT BUILDING, DYING OF A VIRUS, AND YOU’RE ACTING LIKE IT’S WORSE THAN THE MILLIONS OF CHILDREN YOU ARE HANDPICKING AND PLAN TO GIVE AWAY TO BE USED AS DRUGS!??!?!!?!? GET OFF YOUR IMAGINARY HIGH HORSE. Ugh stupid bulletproof glass. Last time, I didn’t think Ianto was actually dying and barely reacted. It’s because I spoiled myself and saw that the only original Torchwood actors in Miracle Day were John, Eve, and Kai. But I thought Kai was Gareth’s name, and I assumed Ianto would be in Miracle Day, so I didn’t take his death seriously. This time, my eyes are a little wet. I rarely cry. Didn’t cry over either of Owen’s deaths, Tosh’s death made me shed one tear and then her goodbye video made me shed another. So. I’m not shocked I didn’t cry. But I actually felt sad this time instead of going “No, but he’s supposed to be still alive next season?” the whole scene. Frobisher. This is where you quit. This is where you get up, and walk away. Oh god poor Jack, remembering what happened. Ok. Ok. Gwen crying nearly got me. I got very close to crying just then. Gwen. Girl. Why you gotta make me sad?

Yeah so... everything sucks.

And I really did not believe that Ianto was dead. I was like “Ok but he’s gonna be back” and then I watched Day 5 and Jack flew away or whatever he does and then Gwen and Rhys go off with the baby and Ianto was still dead and I was like “...WHAT.” And then I reread the Tardis Wiki page for Torchwood (That’s what spoiled me) and saw it said “Kai Owen” and I clicked on Kai and I was like “...Oh... Kai’s Rhys not Ianto...” SO it was my own stupidity. BUT IN MY DEFENSE: I had been watching Torchwood nonstop for 3 days by this point. I had only taken breaks to sleep and eat (sometimes eating while watching). I did not look into any of the actors until after I finished Children of Earth. I don’t know when I had the time to look at the Tardis Wiki, but I did at some point in season 1, yet Tosh and Owen’s deaths at the end of Season 2 still felt like they came out of no where even though I should have known they’d be gone by Miracle Day.

See, when my brother watched Titanic for the first time, he’d managed to make it 16 years without being spoiled for the movie. Me? I’ve never seen it, but I was spoiled a long time ago and I don’t feel like putting myself through that pain so I kind of refuse to watch it. But he didn’t know what was coming at all. Apparently, halfway through the movie, he was so into the story that he forgot they were even on a boat, let alone the TITANIC, so once everything started flooding it was like he was slapped in the face by reality. That was me with Torchwood. I knew that Stolen Earth and Journey’s End only had Gwen, Jack, and Ianto since I watched Doctor Who first, but I didn’t really comprehend that that meant something had to have happened to keep Tosh and Owen away from that episode. And when they died it was like “Oh yeah. They’re on the Titanic.” except it was “Oh yeah. They weren’t in Journey’s End.” Kind of the same thing happened with End of Time Part 2. I didn’t question why Jack was on his own and would be single and therefore interested in Alonso, but once I watched Day 5 I was like “Oh yeah. Jack’s on his own and single by End of Time part 2.”

Basically, my horrible memory spares me from spoiling myself sometimes. Funnily enough, I saw the ending of Journey’s End when it aired because my mom watched it. I remember asking her why there were 2 Doctors, but didn’t remember until I was watching the scene myself after starting the show from the beginning years later. And when I saw the scene where Donna was forced to forget the Doctor, I remember saying to mom “Wait, what? Why did she just introduce herself?” and mom saying “He took away her memories of him” and once again, I didn’t remember that I’d already seen the scene until it happened.

So yeah. Everything about Day 4 is way too real. Especially because of what’s been happening this week. I’m almost glad I had to wait 2 weeks to watch it because the fact that this is kind of happening right now made everything SO MUCH MORE PAINFUL. BECAUSE IT’S NOT FICTIONAL. WHY IS THE WORLD THIS WAY? WHY DID PEOPLE LET TRUMP WIN?

Ok. So that’s it for Day 4.

Oh my god. 5 years ago this week, I watched Torchwood for the first time. I forgot to commemorate my 5th anniversary... I had planned to, but was too busy. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I missed it. June 15-18th (maybe early morning of the 19th) was when I watched Torchwood for the first time. Over 3 very, very, VERY intense days.

Also, every single shoutout goes to Lois Habiba. She’s the MVP. Love her so much.

AND IS DEKKER OK?

Update: pressed post before watching the preview. Dekker’s ok! Which doesn’t make sense since he should have been exposed long before he put on the suit, but whatever! Also. I’m not emotionally ready for Day 5.

#hope rewatches torchwood #ignore me if you want

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thetldrplace · 3 years

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Weekend Update

What a weekend.

Saturday started off light. Ran over to visit with Mom, and while there my youngest sister and her husband came over. We all sat for a while and had a good conversation.

Came back home and spent some time laying out in the sun, trying to remedy the extreme whiteness of my legs. (I've heard whiteness is a real problem these days, so I'm doing my part to lessen mine!)

Then we alternated some tv time and running errands.

Around 4:30 got a text reminding us that we'd committed to going out to dinner with our friends V/W, and his father, who is in town. Then the fun started.

While waiting at BJ’s for our friends to show up I got a nasty text from my middle sister. I have had a particularly contentious relationship with her over the last years, and the last year and a half especially., But she has recently started to pick up Italian. She asked me about a few things earlier in the day, and apparently I didn't respond appropriately, so she got mad at me.... again.... for about the 10th time over the aforementioned span and sent the nasty text.

I had at this point pretty much decided that I really didn't want to hear from her and told her that in a text. Then I blocked her phone, for the third time in the same span. She must have figured out that she was blocked and fired off a nasty email accusing me of various crimes against humanity (the only humanity that matters is of course her). At that point, I knew the night was gonna be shot.

I couldn't sleep since I knew this was going to consume my thoughts, so I got up and tried reading through the next poetry volume in my series of books. That didn’t work so I decided the only thing that would help me get some peace would be to write out my responses and see if I could settle in my mind what I would do.

So I spent from 10p to 2a processing through my thoughts by writing these responses. I've kind of come to the conclusion that the only way for me to "let something go and give it to the Lord" isn't trying to ignore the issue and give it to Him by not thinking about it. I can't NOT think about it. For the, it's to process through my thoughts about it and make peace with the issue.

So I analyze what she wrote, then write out how I would respond, if there's anything that I got wrong, if there are areas she is correct about something, etc. Then I write out what I was thinking when I said whatever it was that upset her.

In this case, she sent me some screenshots of the explanation of some of the singular Italian definite articles, Il for masculine, la for feminine and l' for both when the word starts with a vowel. She texted "What is this????" Now she's a long time Spanish speaker, so masculine and feminine isn't an issue. I literally wrote: "Not sure what the issue with the definite articles is for you" and then restated the basic structure.

She responded that I was belittling her and accused me of having a Low EQ (emotional intelligence quotient), something she has regularly accused me of.

I was baffled and showed my wife, who at first said- your wording DOES look kind of insulting. When I showed her the other stuff for context, she then thought it didn't look so bad.

But I wrote back and said "I meant no disrespect, Sorry."

She responded with: Give me a break. That really infers 'don't know why you're so stupid and can't get it". Then she proceeds to tell me that she asked two 'highly educated' friends and they both agreed that it was sarcastic and belittling. And that I was "Low EQ if you can't see that."

So my apology was rejected and she accused me of lying about my intentions. At this point I told her that she had returned a direct insult despite my explanation, and that I wanted to be clear now- I don't want to hear anymore.

Then I blocked her.

I guess she figured out that I blocked her because later I got an email telling me that I was self-righteous and arrogant and a hypocrite because I told her back in 2002 when she left her husband that she didn't have biblical grounds for a divorce, (which was true) and yet I'd had an affair (in 2018). And furthermore, "despite my long history of telling women what to do [I have NO idea what she is talking about here, and my wife said the same thing: What???], don't ever even think of telling ME what to do."

Now, to be honest, I'm ready to cut her completely out of my life. My wife blocked her years ago and doesn't want to hear from her, my youngest sister has told me that as soon as mom dies she will tell her to piss off and not contact her anymore. My middle sister has been in fights with my mom (at whose house she lives rent free), my aunt (who lives with my mom), me, my other sister and her husband, both her daughters and her son hasn't spoken to her in years, although he just recently started to again. In fact, she has had restraining orders on her son and youngest daughter. Basically, anyone she's around for a few weeks, she gets in a fight with.

When my dad passed away last year, she lost it. She was always a daddy's girl, and loved him dearly. And she's held a grudge against my mom for a reason I won't get into since forever. But she treated everyone in the family very poorly, especially my mom and I. Since it was during covid, we couldn't get anyone to do the service, so I basically led the funeral service. We had a tight schedule and I asked my sister to keep her remarks to about 5 minutes, just like everyone else. She went 15. And we had to cut out a part of the service because of it. No problem, didn’t say a word to her.

My mom asked me to put together a small video of the service for her, so my sister, my aunt and I would have to rerecord our thoughts. I asked my sister at that time to edit hers down to 5 minutes. For this she accused me of being the "little dictator of funerals" and singling her out for mistreatment.

She snapped at my mom once telling her, "I just lost my DAD!"…. To my mom.... who had just lost her husband.... ALL of us lost him, and yet not all of us behaved nearly as badly as she did.

The list goes on. I kept a record of the various spats and there were 7 different incidents where she took some innocuous thing I said and rewrote herself as the victim. Which a common theme in her life- everybody mistreats me. She goes on about being the middle child. She'll send me meme's that say: when is it middle child day? Oh yeah, no one cares about the middle child. As if there is an oldest child day.

So.... given the history, I had finally decided I was going to have to cut off contact with her. I have avoided telling her, but if she is going to take any harmless statement as an insult, then ignore my explanations and accuse me of lying about it, then I don't know what else is left. I can't possibly have a relationship with her as long as things are like this. And she's progressively gotten worse over the years, so I don't see anything changing.

Somewhat to my credit, despite some fairly harsh words that I wrote, things I've been wanting to say for years now, I didn't send anything. I remembered in writing it out, that God has forgiven me for much over the years, and while He would have been fully justified in throwing me out in to the street, He didn't. I want to show that same kind of grace, even when that person thinks I'm her enemy. I do recognize that she's being used as a tool of the enemy, and though she is willfully ignorant of the damage she's causing, I still want to hold out hope and act in way that if she ever were to come around, she'd be able to recall that I didn’t lash out at her in these darker moments.

So, I go to church on Sunday morning and one of the songs, Hallelujah For the Cross, just caught me up and I completely forgot about all this stuff. So praise the Lord for that momentary respite.

Came home and watched Italy beat England in the Euro finals... in Wembley stadium in England! So good day there.

Then I got to watch the US beat Haiti in the afternoon, so more good....

Then I got to go play indoor soccer with some friends from church. (I'm exhausted and beat up and limping this morning, but it was still awesome.)

Then this morning I get more crappy emails from my sister. So now I'm kind of thinking about the situation again.

I'm torn between wanting to lay into her and then tell her we're done, or just tell her we're done.

I know that she won't hear anything I say, and the only thing it will do is rile her up and cause her to send off a bunch of hate mail. Part of me thinks I at least owe her some explanation, but that's because my nature tells me that if we (by that I mean any parties involved with anything) can just sit together and be reasonable, then we can come to an agreement. But I've talked with my mom and sister and wife about this and everyone is telling me the same thing: Don't bother, it won't do any good.

She IS my sister, so I don't want to cut her off, at least in principle... but to be honest, I've crossed a mental bridge where I just don't really want to hear from her anymore. At all. But I haven't crossed the Rubicon yet with what I've said to her. I guess I could really use some prayer, and I need to be praying more about it myself.

And that's my weekend update. I know it's kind of a get this stuff of my chest post, but for me, that's what writing does.

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rofics · 7 years

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Hidden omega (part 50

Fandom: Bts (Got7 + Big Bang + B.A.P + Monsta X + Seventeen + Block B+Vixx+TVXQ+Exo) Who doesn’t love a good ensemble Pairing: Namjoon x Everybody Genre: Smut/Fluff/Angst Au: Canon / Omegaverse au Length: 3.3k (I know… so much!

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

Summary:

Namjoon has an important talk with Big Bang’s Jiyong and stuff goes in a way Namjoon did not expect!

Note before the story:

I am sorry about the late chapter, the reason I delayed it is that I didn’t feel right publishing it with what has gone down with TOP,

Namjoon stared with open mouth at the alpha in the room. God he was dreaming wasn’t he? Or maybe it was an hallucination, this couldn’t be real right? “G Dragon-sunbaenim?”

Yup in front him wearing a ripped pair of skinny jeans, a flashy top and backwards cap over his softly dyed pink hair was G Dragon. The G Dragon, leader of Big Bang. Oh fucking God it was G Dragon.

Jiyong was dressed like… like he was G Dragon. It was clear that the older idol was not trying to hide that he was here, this wasn’’t Kwon Jiyong he was talking to. This was G Dragon. Namjoon had talked to Daesung and Seungri every day without any break since he had gotten out of the hospital, he had talked with and liked Youngbae. Tis just felt so much different. Also Jiyong’s facial expression wasn’t nice friendly and open like when he had met Daesung.

Jyong pointed toward the laptop. “Get him to rerecord the vocals. You can’t make a good track without good vocals.”

Although it was G Dragon, Namjoon still felt that he needed to defend Jungkook even if Jiyong was right and now that he thought about it the vocal were a little breathy. “He is trying his best,”

The older just raised an eyebrow. “Feisty and protective over his group. I’m surprised if anybody had fucked me over as hard as they had, they might be six feet under and nobody would ever find their body. Then again you know, wouldn’t happen.”

Jiyong moved further into the room moving closer to the omega. “So here is my question. What is your deal? What do you want with my pack members?” The older alpha moved like a panther moving even closer to Namjoon, who was up off his chair stumbling back from the alpha. Jiyong’s heavy chili scent was waving over him overwhelming his own still weak scent.

“Nothing, I uhm…” Namjoon could feel the fear building up inside him. This was the first time an alpha had been aggressive towards him. “I promise nothing!”

And just like magic the older rapper’s eyes peeled almost comically large as he seemed to understand what was happening and he stepped multiple steps behind. “To far, that was too far?” His facial expression was awkward.

Namjoon could still feel the fear taking over him as the alpha’s scent was still heavy in the air. Jiyong awkwardly looked at Namjoon. “I’m just gonna air out for a second and then you know, stand over here if you don’t mind.” Pointing towards the farthest away from Namjoon, quickly opening up the window.

“I should have expected that. Dae did warn me that you had issues with alphas I promise I never wanted to hurt you! I even get Youngbae to take the spiders outside, where I think he might kill them, but it is the thought that count. Please stop looking scared at me, “

As the room slowly aired out, being cleared of Jiyongs scent as more of the cold January wind moved throughout the room he could slowly feel the fear move it self from his room. “I’m sorry I can’t control it.”

Jiyong stood awkwardly as far away from Namjoon as physically possible. “That was my fault, people say I get over protective over my pack. Which that is probably correct, and you have been spending a lot of time with Daesung and Seungri. Add to that that Youngbae now says as well that you are a nice person. So I wanted to find out what was up with you. I didn’t want to actually scare you just find out if you had evil plans about my pack, now I’m pretty sure you don’t. I just terrified a newly presented omega something tells me that I might be sleeping on the couch… Please don’t tell Daesung.” The older alpha suddenly looked more like a kicked puppy than big scary G Dragon.

Namjoon wasn’t sure what to say, he had never thought about the fact that he could ever do something bad to the two youngest members of Big Bang. He had just mostly been surprised that they would even look at him and he hesitantly answered. “I don’t want to do anything to them… They…” For somebody who normally had it easy with words, Namjoon did struggle with it when it came to G Dragon… The G Dragon. “They have been nice to me even when they didn’t need to be. I am very thankful”

“Please stop looking at me like a kicked puppy. I already feel bad enough for making you panic.” it was weird how different Jiyong was from the picture Namjoon had of him in his head. Both Daesung and Seungri had said that their group leader was a lot less… G Dragon… most of the times, a lot more spoiled alpha used to getting it his way unable to take advice unless it is physically knocked into him. “They really like you.” He seemed to catch on to how what he had said could be understood. “Like a friend of course. I don’t think Daesung planned on getting so attached to you as he did. He just wanted to make sure that you were okay, but then he took to you. At first we thought it was just him making another omega friend, even if a little younger. But both him and Seungri seem to genuinely like you as a person, and it made me worried. I simply wanted to make sure that you weren’t… deceiving.”

Namjoon nodded slowly he understood the older alpha’s concern. If it had been his group and pack it happened to with an even more rookie group he would also hesitate, and they weren’t bloody BigBang. “It is okay G Dragon-sunbaenim.”

Jiyong laughed a soft laugh that Namjoon found very pleasant. It fit the shorter skinny alpha a lot more than the aggression he saw in him earlier. “Please don’t call me that. You text with both Daesung and RiRi every day, the least you can do is call my Jiyong-hyung. Jiyong-sunbaenim can work as well if you think it is too much.”

In Namjoon’s defense it was… insane, G Dragon had just told him to call him Jiyong hyung! “Thank you!”

“Oh god you are adorable, please stop. I am trying to be cool.” The alpha at that point sat down on the couch. “Oh this is important I think. I met your baby alpha and I might have scared him a little. I will for your fault pretend to be sorry about that.”

Jiyong was something else that was for sure Namjoon thought. He now understood what Seungri had meant with Jiyong being special. “What happened to Jungkook.” No matter what had happened between him and Jungkook he was still Jungkook’s leader and it was still his job to protect Jungkook.

“Well Dae and Seunghyun told us what happened and Seungri told us that you have forgave him for it. We all come from a time where there were very very few male omegas in the entertainment industry. So we might be a little bit overprotective when it comes to omegas. And google told me that Jungkook seems to really look up to me, and you know what they say… Never meet your heroes, so I just politely pointed out that he was really not very impressive and he caused a lot of shit.”

Namjoon sighed heavily while yes he was very flattered that the older alpha seemed to care any way about him and he understood why people wanted him to not forgive BTS. But it simply wasn’t who he was. It wasn’t like they ever really meant to hurt him, they just didn’t know better. Jiyong might as well has buried Jungkook alive. “He really looks up to you hyung. You are one of his biggest idols.”

The older alpha just grinned. “Well now he got a lesson from one of his biggest idols, don’t fuck with omegas. Still to this day they can be rare in certain groups. Don’t confuse being the leader of BTS with babying them. Sometimes letting them stand on their own legs and realize the shit they have done is a better option.” Jiyong got up and looked at the laptop Namjoon was working on. “I would get him to record the vocals again, don’t let him get away with not reaching his full potential just because he is the maknae. He might hate you while doing it but in the end he will thank you for it.”

Namjoon understood Jiyong’s point he had talked multiple times with the two youngest members of Big Bang about how the older groups saw omegas especially male omegas and what Jiyong said made sense. But he did wish that the older had been a little bit more careful with Jungkook. He wished that everybody would be a lot nicer to Jungkook about it. He wished that people saw it like he did. That Jungkook really wasn’t that bad.

“He is a good kid. I just want him to be happy.” Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from pouting a little as he looked at Jiyong who was still looking at the laptop.

It took awhile before the older spoke up and when he did there was a weird tone in his voice. “I know better than anybody how easy it is the baby the maknae or just the youngest in general. We feel as leaders that we should protect them and make sure that they are okay. But that is not our job, that is their pack leaders job. While I do know that some pack leaders are also group leader, but for us it isn’t like that. We are just group leaders, it is not our job to make sure that they are happy and secure. It is our job to make sure that they reach their full potential. It is our job to push them, even if it means recording the same lines for hours upon hours to get that perfect take. If it means we have to be the evil person for a while we do it because we are leaders and we want what is best for our group.” He looked at Namjoon the look in his eyes soft. “Believe me I wanted to baby the living hell out of both Daesung and Seungri in the start but it wouldn’t have done any of us any good. Instead during recording I am the evil boogeyman, because if I go easy on them I’m I really doing them a favor? Two things can happen, if it manages to get approved the fans get to hear a subpar product, and we both knows fans or anti’s aren’t going to silently accept that. The other option is that it get pulled by somebody in the company. Is it really better for them to hear it from somebody other than you that what they did wasn’t good enough?”

Jiyong, of course, had a point, he never thought about it that way. He had always kinda acted like he was the pack alpha half time. “You are right, thank you Jiyong-sunbaenim. I never thought about it that way. I might have been a little too easy on people since I presented as an omega, I… I still struggle with what it is okay for me to do.”

To that the alpha laughed. “Everything is okay for you to do. Dae once knocked me in the ground during a gym session plus him and Youngbae wrestle all the time. His sub gender doesn’t matter, you think they would dare disagree with me in my studio if I was an omega?” Namjoon quickly shook his head, Jiyong could have been an omega and nobody would have dared fuck with him.

Jiyong smiled at him now. Namjoon wasn’t sure what he expected, Jiyong on the stage was always impressive aggressive and… G Dragon. But the Jiyong in front of him now, was more complicated than that. This was one of the problems looking up to people you never really knew how they were in reality. You only really knew the image they showed to in public this was different, and somehow more impressive.

But Jiyong wasn’t finished with his little speech. “I have a question. How are you?” Namjoon opened his mouth to do his normal ‘okay’ speech, but Jiyong was quick to correct him before he even started speaking. “I mean with the omega rapper thing. I know it can’t be easy.”

It was the first time Namjoon had actually gotten asked that. Majority of his friends were idols first rappers later or they were not omegas nobody since the hospital had even questioned it. Namjoon thought back on the messages left on his phone from old friends, or people he thought were friends. He wanted to lie, but as he looked into Jiyong’s eyes the dark brown orbs were kind. The same kind of kind that he got when he meet with Daesung like he wouldn’t judge him and like it would be wrong to lie to him because he didn’t need to. So in the end he didn’t. “It is… hard, not as hard as I expected for Jiho, uhm Zico, we were friends back in the underground and he has been supportive and helping getting the others to accept me. There are still a few people who are being closed minded, but it is going better.” Namjoon looked away from Jiyong feeling way to awkward looking into the older man's eyes. “But it’s going much better than I expected.”

“We are a close minded group sometimes aren’t we? Rappers? We judge everybody who started rapping as an idol. Can you imagine if it was the same for singers that no singers were respected unless they started singing before they became an idol?” The alpha shrugged and Namjoon did kinda have to agree with him. “But it’s good that you are getting through it. A good piece of advice I can give you is to say ‘fuck you’ to friends who decides to give you shit. There are some people who are never going to accept you as an idol. People who think they are to good to the mainstream. Fuck them, they aren’t worth your time. I know it feels like you have something to prove to them, but you owe them nothing.

The passion between Jiyong’s words left Namjoon to believe that the older probably had his fair number of people who turned their back on him. Something he wouldn’t have believed if people just told him he were freaking G Dragon! But then again, Jiyong was just a person wasn’t he?

Namjoon hadn’t even known that it was something he needed to hear, and hearing it from Jiyong somebody he respected more than he could even explain was a lot better than anything he had ever expected. “Thank you Jiyong-sunbaenim,”

Jiyong’s face turned into a mildly childish pout at his sentence. “I feel like I might not deserve it after scaring you. I also owe you a thank you as well.” Jiyong’s posture was a lot easier now, and it casual. “For Daesung, he always craves omega’s presence during his preheat. Normally he will spend time with Jessica or Heechul, but Jessica is busy with her fashion stuff and Heechul is being busy doing whatever the hell pregnant people do. He was a lot more calm after spending some time with you. It means a lot to all of us.”

To be honest Namjoon hadn’t actually thought about it. He hadn’t even thought about the fact that Daesung had sought physical contact with him. He couldn’t stop the light blush in his cheeks he never before had an omega seek contact with him like that. Jimin would never do it since he hated Namjoon’s scent before his presentation. He kinda liked the idea of another person being calmed by his presence. “It was the least I could do.”

Jiyong just smiled at the omega. ”You have a good heart, which reminds me of something,” is eyes were soft, “if you ever need a place to just be free of everything, we always have a place for you at our place. It can’t be easy when all of your friends are trying to court you at the same time.”

That was not what Namjoon had expected at all. He knew that both Daesung and Seungri seemed to like him. But this was big, bigger than he deserved. “I can’t do that! You don’t have to worry, Bang pd-nim got me my own place, and it isn’t that bad. People are being very accepting and not pressuring me to make a choice.”

“Oh I know you got your own place. I stood guard while Seungri sneaked in. Please don’t keep your key under your doormat you are just going to get stabbed in the middle of the night, but that is not the point right now. Sometimes you need a break from everything around you, but you don’t want to be alone. That is what we are offering you, Seungri said that majority of your friends are either courting you or housing your group mates. We are people completely removed from the situation with no agenda or no expectation of you. ”Namjoon couldn’t stop his face from wearing a skeptical look, which Jiyong smiled softly at. “I know it seems weird, we are an older group, but what started as interest for your sub-gender and your health, turned into interest for you personally and taking a liking for you.”

Namjoon couldn’t stop himself from blushing and stammering a sentence. “I can’t possibly take that offer! You guys are very busy!”

“If redoing the same 3 songs over and over again until we are happy and solo activities are busy then yeah of course we are busy!” He shrugged easily. “We all talked about and agreed on it, you are not being a burden or anything like that. We want you there. If anything see it as a favor to either Daesung or Seungri, both soft alphas and omegas need other omegas around them, and as said… our normal omegas are a little busy either with growing a child inside them or being successful no matter how much SM is trying not to make them.” Jiyong looked at Namjoon expectantly and the younger suddenly felt like he couldn’t let this man down. This man that really shouldn’t even look at Namjoon let alone actually talking to him and offering stuff like that.

Namjoon nodded slowly. “Thank you.” He couldn’t explain how thankful he was, and he could feel his eyes burn with tears he refused to shed. It was still hard to believe that anybody let alone this alpha in front of him cared about him. “Thank you so much.”

Jiyong just smiled and then did something Namjoon didn’t expect. He patted him on the head. “You are a good guy. I hope to see more of you.” and with that… he left.

Leaving behind Namjoon staring at the space where the pink haired alpha had been almost wondering if it really had happened on Jiyong was really just something he imagined, but a text pinging in on his phone proving that it had really did. The text was short and from Daesung without the normal overly complex happy smilies.

‘He is something else isn’t he?’

Oh how right Daesung was in that. Well at least Namjoon’s meeting with Jiyong went well. What Namjoon didn’t know yet was that his first meeting with the Big Bang alpha, would be Namjoon insulting him.

Authors note:

I know this isn’t going to be fun, but I am taking a two weeks break from this story, I know... but please listen to me.

A lot of stuff have been going on in my life and my boyfriend just left to go home to his own country and I won't see him until December!

The truth is this story requires a lot not just writing but making sure that every plot point ends up solved at the same time. Making sure that the ending is logical but not something you saw coming.

Then there is a shit ton of research I need to do, many of these groups is the first time I ever write so I want to get it right, that plus since it is mostly canon world there is a lot of double and triple checking schedules to make sure who would be in Japan at the same time as BTS and stuff like that.

I just need a little break and then I will be back, I am afraid if I keep going I might make mistakes that won’t be correctable!

I will keep on writing other stuffs both my normal requests and my Hidden Omega side story requests and I hope you guys would like to read that!

- Prussia

Chapter 1 ! Previous Chapter ! Next Chapter !

#Bts #Bangtan #Big Bang #Namjoon #Rap Monster #Kwon Jiyong #G Dragon #Bts fluff #Bts angst #Omega verse #bottom namjoon #Namjoon fluff #Jiyong fluff

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angelofdirewolves · 7 years

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Underneath the Stars Playlist

This is a playlist of songs that I listened to when writing this story, or that have special meaning in regards to the characters. Apologies for length despite that it’s only songs long, because I got very meta-y in compiling this and quoting the songs and explaining why they fit. Spoilers for the entire fic are present in the meta paragraphs, and links to each song are embedded in the name.

Songs Mentioned in Fic:

Light on the Horizon by determamfidd “There’s a light on the horizon, there’s a ship upon the sea, now the world is so much wider, for you wander it with me.” This song is one of many that was written, composed, and performed by the author of the absolutely stunning LoTR fanfic Sansúkh. Sansúkh is a story about family and healing and what it means to forgive yourself and to forgive others, even if it is too late, thus making it extremely fitting for the end of this story, because all of them need to learn to forgive each other, to heal the breaches that time has wrought, and nothing exemplifies that better than this fic, and no song promises that better future than Light on the Horizon.

The Star Cycle: A series of three songs that are all based on the stars, not an official term, just one coined by me for the fic, because Aoife would have little playlists of three or four songs and call them pretentious names, mostly created when she was a child with Amanda.

Underneath the Stars by Kate Rusby. “Underneath the stars you met me, underneath the stars you left me … they come and go of their own free will, go gently.” Jenny’s favorite song of the Star Cycle, and the titular song of the fic. While Jenny adored this song long before the events of this fic, it becomes especially poignant once Aoife abandons her to go complete the Kolavar. The song speaks of being abandoned by one who loves you for your own good, and about someone who has no friends but the stars. It rings painfully true both before and after the events of this story.

All the Stars by the Wailin Jennys “All the Stars in the sky say goodbye say goodbye, we were here yesterday now it seems so far away … oh you don’t know me, you know one side of the story.” Keith’s favorite song of the Star Cycle. Again, this becomes very poignant when Keith is on earth, because no one can truly know him there, and he has no one but Shiro, and even he leaves to go to Kerberos eventually. Even into canon, no one really knows him because he keeps shut about his relationship to Zarkon, and to Aoife and Jenny because he’s always been trained to keep quiet about that, even with people who he’s supposed to trust, and trusting is still a difficult concept for him.

Starlight by the Wailin Jennys “I have come back to you broken, take me home … kingdom come their will was done, and now the earth is far away from any kind of heaven, take us home.” Aoife’s favorite song of the Star Cycle and the song Jenny was singing when Shiro found her. Aoife has always internalized her relationship with Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar more than Keith has, and Jenny is the only other one that comes close. She was raised in part by them, and if not for the interference of her mother, she would have thought that the way they were raising her, to be the unbreakable face of the empire was the way things always were, the only way things could be. The only thing that she doesn’t like about this song is a line about the singer being in need of mercy, because she doesn’t feel that she deserves mercy for anything she has done.

Ave Maria by Kevin Memley “Ave Maria, gratia plena (translated) Hail Mary Full of Grace.” This song is rerecorded by Aoife to be Ave Amanda, because she reveres her mother in a way that elevates her almost to sainthood. Also rings true because due to science, Amanda does not have children in the normal way- Aoife enjoys those particular coincidences. Jana’s name also means Grace, and Amanda was the one that named her, so there’s also that connection.

Aoife’s Songs:

Uneven Odds by Sleeping at Last “I once knew your father well. … As your guardian I was instructed well, to make sense of their love in these fires of hell.” Aoife’s song for Keith and Jenny, because she was the one that raised them all on her own from the time that she was fifteen, still half a child herself. She loves Keith and Jenny with everything that she has, but sometimes that isn’t enough, because she knows that Keith deserves Amanda, and she knows that sometimes she can’t even look at Jenny without thinking about the trauma Aoife suffered at the hands of Jenny’s unknown father. So she sees herself both as the guardian and as the fires of hell for them both.

Sun by Sleeping at Last “We are the dust of dust, the apple of God’s eye. … We are infinite as the universe you hold inside. … let there be light let me be right.” Aoife was Zarkon’s beloved granddaughter, and he was the closest thing to a god that exists for the majority of the universe. She was also Haggar’s niece and protégé. Aoife is the most powerful manipulator of the fabric of universe ever recorded by the druids and ‘taught’ by the next most powerful quintessence user. She’s constantly hoping that she is the one that is right, the one that will prevail against these two night divine beings.

Third Eye by Florence and the Machine “That original lifeline. … There’s a whole where your heart lies and I can see it with my third eye, and my touch it magnifies… I’m the same, I’m the same, I’m trying to change.” In the battle that kills Zarkon, Aoife loses Thace, who she’s been bonded with at the brain since they were children, as seen in the interludes, the person that kept her alive by his mental support after the death of her mother, and he’s gone, so she gets much, much worse, which leads her to the Kolavar. At the end of the story, coming out of the healing pod into Keith and Jana’s arms, Aoife recognizes how much she has hurt her children by her actions and her lessons. She has a lot of amends to make, and she’s trying to change, but it’s a difficult process that will take time and a lot of effort, and not a few relapses. But she’s trying, and for now, that’s enough.

Jenny’s Songs:

North by Sleeping at Last “We will call this place our home … We’ll tell our stories on these walls … We call this fixer upper home.” Jenny’s main issue beyond her family, is that she never had a place to call home. They never stayed anywhere more than a few days, a few weeks if she was lucky. The closest thing to a permanent home she had was the ship Aoife stole when she escaped, and while that was where she lived, it wasn’t home, because it was so incredibly small and so confining to all of them. Once they landed on a new planet the basic way it went was to leave the ship and stay outside it as long as they could before they had to leave again. Jenny knows every piece of the machinery, but it wasn’t her home. Aoife had a home for six to fourteen years, and Keith (from her viewpoint) had a home for five years, but Jenny has never had one and feels that loss keenly.

Pluto by Sleeping at Last “I leaned in and let it hurt, let my body feel the dirt. … Show me where my armor ends, show me where my skin begins.” Jenny right as she starts to fight with Keith. She’s been strong for so very long, her whole life. Repressing her anger towards her mother, repressing her anger towards Keith, and when Keith said everything would go back to the way it was she just snapped and let all those walls she built over her life down. She loves her mother, loves her little uncle, but she had to wear armor to be around them, after those five years of Aoife’s grief, and Keith not being there. She doesn’t quite know where her love for them and her anger for them meet, but with time and a thousand apologies and honest open conversation, facilitated by Coran, she will be able to get there, eventually.

Queen of Peace by Florence and the Machine “Oh the King gone mad within his suffering … And now you have me on the run, the damage is already done … like a boat into oblivion because you’re driving me away.” For Jenny after Keith ‘died’ this was her life, Aoife gone mad because of his loss, and damaging her daughter in her wake. She’s asking Aoife if this is what she wanted. The fact that Light on the Horizon at the end of the story mentions there being a ship upon the sea indicated that the love between them has been drawn back from oblivion, but not quite to solid land yet.

Keith’s Songs:

East by Sleeping at Last “I set out to rule the world … so I draw my sword with the morning sun… I bear little resemblance to the king I once was, I bear little resemblance to the king I could become, maybe paper is paper, maybe kids will be kids.” Even though Keith was the younger sibling, he was the second in line to the imperial throne right after Lotor. Jenny was after him, then Haggar, and then Aoife after her, because Druids are automatically placed at the bottom of the line of inheritance because it’s more important to the Galra that they serve the Ladies first and then the clan. So Keith always knew, even though he wasn’t living with the Galra that he was in the line to rule the Galaxy, and when he was a little toddler he thought that was awesome, but as he grew up and realized the damage that the Galra Empire did, he went nope away from the thought. And now he’s a member of Voltron, and entity that while not ruling the Universe, is going to rebuild it, which is a different type of ‘kingship’ than what he idolized as a kid, but is more suited to the realities of the universe as it is.

Mercury by Sleeping at Last “In a holding pattern to find myself, … I’ll go anywhere you want, anywhere you want me. … to know the worth of my life made of precious metals.” Keith basically stifled on Earth for five years because he was desperate to know where Amanda came from, because he didn’t worship her the way Aoife did, but he needed to know about who she was where she came from, if she could have ever loved him. The precious metals line and the fact that his made-up-by-necessity last name means gold is just a bonus.

Which Witch by Florence and the Machine “I’ve had enough, it’s obvious, and I’m getting tired of crawling all the way … been in the dark since the day we met, fire help me to forget.” Keith is actually, genuinely surprised that he wasn’t recognized by anyone before Jenny. Allura and Coran he can let slide as they were asleep while Amanda and Aoife were in the universe, but everyone else? The Olkari and the Taujeeri, and the Galra, and the Balmerans? Amanda was well popularized, she went to events at Zarkon’s and Lotor’s sides and was praised as mother to the next generation of the empire, and Keith looks scarily like Amanda. He’s fairly sure that Zarkon recognized him when they fought while the others were rescuing Allura, when he started the taunting about ‘you fight like a Galra soldier’, to which Keith was internally like, ‘DUH of COURSE, because I was ENGINEERED THIS WAY TO YOUR SPECIFICATIONS’ while he wasn’t terrified out of his mind. Zarkon and Lotor and Haggar have been a shadow over him for his entire life, and he’s ready to cast them off and cast them away.

Miscellaneous Songs:

Why We Build The Wall? By Anais Mitchell This song doesn’t get a quote, because if I started quoting it I’d never stop. This describes perfectly the mentality of the Galra Empire, their teaching strategies, call and response echoing back ten thousand years, so that the ones in charge don’t even need to give the answer, because it’s so ingrained into their subjects. Jenny will listen to this and cry whenever she’s feeling particularly maudlin over her family.

Leave my Body by Florence and the Machine “I don’t want no future, I don’t need no past, one bright moment is all I ask. I’m going to leave my body, I’m gonna lose my mind. (Moving up to higher ground.)” The inspiration behind the Kolavar ritual in song format. The total subjugation of your past, any chance at a future, for one moment of judgement. Ignoring the needs of the body and becoming lost in your mind for weeks beforehand.

Daughter of Heaven by Kate Rusby “Oh Daughter of Heaven, oh daughter of now, the stars are your jewels, the rubies your crown, we all stand in awe of your right to astound, she’s gone to a new place now” This is the way that the universe as a whole sees Allelee and Aoife. Allelee as the daughter of traitor Altea, saved by her love for the Galra King-turned-Emperor. Aoife as the granddaughter of that same Emperor. They ultimately wind up leaving the reach of the Empire, Allelee through death, and Aoife though escaping into the border lands and never leaving it. Also Zarkon called Aoife his jewel, and she wore rubies as part of her ceremonial dress, as Allelee did. (They went surprisingly well with her hair, which was more of a red orange, than her little brother’s neon orange.)

Only if For a Night by Florence and the Machine “My body was bruised and I was set alight, … and although I was burning, you’re the only light, only if for a night.” This is Aoife and Thace in a nutshell. They’re each other’s light, each other’s source of hope, of sanity in a world gone mad at the whim of a family of dictators. They were tied together by a mental bond, one that wasn’t romantic, but was in the process of developing in that direction before it was interrupted by Haggar and then by Aoife’s pregnancy. They only saw each other in the flesh twice after Aoife ran away from her family, once before Lotor caught Aoife and once after, which marked the turning point in her use of illusions of Keith, only for a day and a night each time, because Aoife could never stay in the same place, and Thace had two opposing masters who he could almost never flee from. Thace would have sent her an apology through the bond before he died in the season 2 finale, and Aoife screamed and then went silent, though her mind was never silent, it was just a wail of anguish until she could speak to Jenny again.

#underneath the stars #playlist #MUSIC #my playlists

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